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1
00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:07,381
'Well, we're testing the new
bulletproof vests they sent us.'
2
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,426
It's supposed to stand up
to a .357 magnum, .50-caliber
3
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:14,388
so Officer Johnson's got
a .357 magnum, .50-caliber.
4
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,807
Alright. Freeze, scumbag!
5
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,151
- This can't be good, can it?
- 'No.'
6
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,111
That can't be good.
7
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,155
- Whoop!
- 'Come here.'
8
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,996
{\an8}Oh. Uh. Ah!
9
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,291
{\an8}Hey! Hey! Oh!
10
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,199
{\an8}'Well, it has finally happened.'
11
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,452
{\an8}After dozens and dozens
of complaints
12
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,037
{\an8}from citizens
and your fellow deputies
13
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,539
the Department
of Internal Affairs
14
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,208
is sending
a disciplinary auditor
15
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,668
to spend the next
two weeks with us.
16
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,421
He'll be with us on the job,
in the cars, in the break room.
17
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,340
He'll be looking
for incidents of racism
18
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:35,010
sexual harassment, insensitivity
to the differently abled.
19
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,513
Please, mind your P's and Q's
20
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,724
and obey the Sheriff's
Department code of conduct.
21
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,017
'Please, people.'
22
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,060
- Aah!
- Oh,
23
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:46,563
Nice one, Dangle.
24
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,273
Who did this? Come on.
25
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,193
'Who did-- Did you do that?
Did you do that?'
26
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,281
Hey!
27
00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,036
Suspended. Suspended.
Suspended. Suspended.
28
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,121
Suspended!
29
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,256
{\an8}'Welcome back.'
30
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,341
{\an8}How was palm springs?
31
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,093
{\an8}Uh, not like it used to be.
32
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:19,555
{\an8}Oh, so, tonight, we're running
that sting operation
33
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,349
cutting down on the, uh,
illegal sex-slave trade.
34
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,351
'Do you know where she's coming
in from? Do we know?'
35
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,394
'Did they give you
any hints on the internet?'
36
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:29,022
- "Made in China," all it says.
- 'Do you think?'
37
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:32,025
Great. Dress warm if you're
coming on the sex-slave sting.
38
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,443
'It's supposed to be
a crisp night.'
39
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,367
{\an8}Looks perfectly
plausible out there.
40
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,744
{\an8}♪ Mama I was gonna marry... ♪
41
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,538
{\an8}'Looks like a lonely fella'
42
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,540
'hankering
for a mail-order bride.'
43
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,083
'Check out this bio, here.'
44
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,419
'It says he's an
occasional drinker.'
45
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,254
She's actually gonna get
her freedom back tonight.
46
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,590
Thanks to the Reno
Sheriff's Department. So...
47
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,925
- 'Here we go.'
- 'Ho! Ho! Ho! Bingo.'
48
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,594
- 'Relax it, here.'
- 'Here she is. Oh--'
49
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,387
'Oh, look at that thing.'
50
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:04,433
'She's just a...
scared little puppy.'
51
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,935
How you doing? How are you?
52
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:14,276
Looks like he's signing
some sort of bill of lading.
53
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,737
- 'Cashier's check.'
- 'That's it!'
54
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,280
- Sheriff's Department!
- 'Sheriff's Department!'
55
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,990
- Freeze!
- 'Freeze! Hey!'
56
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,783
Up against the vehicle.
Right now. Right now--
57
00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,619
You have the right
to remain silent!
58
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,787
You have a right to an attorney
during questioning.
59
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,497
Do you understand,
the rights is obvious.
60
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,624
Go home.
61
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,835
- 'Travis.'
- 'Yes, sir?'
62
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,296
This is an actual
marriage license here.
63
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,256
If that was notarized,
you'd be married.
64
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,801
They are married, legally.
65
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,470
- You're a notary?
- Notary?
66
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,180
We're legally married?
67
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:46,350
- Yep.
- Congratulations.
68
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:51,188
We're married. Me, you...
married, married.
69
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,984
'No, no [bleep] we're married.'
70
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:56,610
No [bleep] no.
71
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,493
...together.
72
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,787
Opa!
73
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:07,955
'Okay.'
74
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,337
{\an8}'Well, sir, your friend says
you shot him with an arrow.'
75
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,882
{\an8}No, my friend opened
a booby-trapped chest
76
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:22,010
that had a magic missile booby
trap set by goblin sappers
77
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,178
that is what hit him.
78
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,388
The booby trap which was you.
79
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,182
No, he was trying to show me
80
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,600
that he could duck
out of the way
81
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,560
of an arrow-of an arrow
82
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,396
and I had to show him
that a longbow at close range
83
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,732
with a magic missile, uh,
enchantment on it.
84
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:36,692
There's no way to duck
out of the way in.
85
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,027
So, you rolled an 18,
and then what happened?
86
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,363
I rolled an 18,
he failed his saving throw
87
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,490
and the arrow got him
between where the greave--
88
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:46,160
Oh, where there's only
the three points of protection.
89
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,912
Travis... come on.
90
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,247
I got about ten points
91
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,331
of "I want to beat you
with a stick" left, okay.
92
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,417
I got about ten points of that.
93
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,544
You don't know anything
about Dungeons & Dragons.
94
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,879
I live in a world of cold steel
95
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,674
and dungeons and mighty foes.
96
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,551
I live in a world
o-of dungeons, too.
97
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,719
The dungeon
where we're taking you
98
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,803
is called the Reno County Jail.
99
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,763
How's that dungeon?
You're gonna like that dungeon.
100
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,682
There's a dragon there
named Nick, the grip
101
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:12,561
and he's been feeling people up
in their sleep all week. So...
102
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:16,356
In our, um... no.
No, no, no, no because--
103
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,441
Sure you don't want to tell us
104
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,402
why you shot the fellow
with the arrow?
105
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,279
I'm wearing boots of escaping!
I'm wearing boots...
106
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:25,323
Ow! Ow! Ow!
107
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:29,619
I will call down
a mighty reckoning on you!
108
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,581
I am a Demon God of Conquest.
109
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,585
Well, I hope you got
a magic potion for hot lead.
110
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,047
You're a very, very short
Demon God of Conquest.
111
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,882
And you're exactly
Nick, the grip's type.
112
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,266
- Hey.
- Oh, Lord.
113
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,435
'Look at this guy. Oh, man.'
114
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,272
What is it,
1,000 degrees today? Whoo.
115
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,356
- Wow. Yeah.
- 'Man.'
116
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,487
Hey, you dumb son of a bitch
117
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,947
fries come with that shake?
118
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,326
Hey, my man,
four years of college
119
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,578
and this is where
you're at, huh?
120
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,710
Screw you,
you stupid [bleep]hole!
121
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,381
Hey! Hey, you son of a bitch!
Hey, you come back here!
122
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,133
- 'We got a runner.'
- We got a runner.
123
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,802
Hey, son of a bitch!
124
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:35,310
Being married is everything
I thought it would be
125
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:36,854
only maybe a little bit better.
126
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,550
...Reno, Nevada.
127
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:09,970
Hey! Reno, Nevada.
128
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,013
♪ Let's go Reno Wo-wo-wo ♪
129
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,349
{\an8}Right. Hey, you're learning.
You're learning.
130
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,561
{\an8}'Like a little doll I won
at the [bleep] carnival.'
131
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:24,484
Focus on the Mythic Tarot
132
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:28,406
the cards will tell you
what you want to know.
133
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,326
'And we've got the death card.'
134
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:36,538
'Ending our reading
with the death card.'
135
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:41,251
Yeah. That-that isn't
a bad thing, necessarily, okay?
136
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,879
'We'll do something else.'
137
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,756
Horoscope.
W-when's your birthday?
138
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,091
When's your birthday?
139
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,926
- June 28th.
- June 28th.
140
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,889
Which is Cancer,
Cancer, the crab.
141
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,558
Are you crabby
'cause you got cancer?
142
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,770
Who's crabby 'cause they've
got cancer, huh?
143
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,611
{\an8}Alright.
144
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,279
{\an8}He's got an automatic shotgun.
145
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,906
{\an8}Scared the hell out
of the poor bartender.
146
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,115
Up against the wall over there.
147
00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:15,410
Okay, on my count.
Ready? Three, two, go.
148
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:15,952
Drop your weapon!
149
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,585
- What's the occasion?
- 'Drop your weapon, sir!'
150
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,586
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
151
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,797
I'll put it down.
I'll put it down.
152
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:28,924
'Put the gun down,
not the drink.'
153
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,633
I'll put the drink down.
154
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,135
'Put the gun down.'
155
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,221
Make up your mind!
156
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,474
We did. You can pick the drink
back up. Put the gun down.
157
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,935
- I'll put the drink back up.
- 'Drink's okay.'
158
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,603
Now, put the gun down.
159
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,564
I have a demand.
I have a demand.
160
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,441
'Okay. What are your demands?'
161
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,735
I want a girlfriend.
162
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,362
'I'll be your girlfriend, sir.'
163
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,613
Done.
164
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,572
'Hell of a catch-
hell of a catch, sir.'
165
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:56,952
And I want-I want lots of candy.
166
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,120
- 'I have tons of candy.'
- Lots of candy.
167
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,122
- We got some bar mints.
- 'Bar mints.'
168
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,833
- 'Bar mints.'
- 'Bar mints.'
169
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,877
- 'They taste like mints.'
- 'Gun down now.'
170
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,630
'Alright,
now, put the gun down.'
171
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,966
My gun for your gun.
172
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,592
Alright. Alright. We'll make
a swap. We'll make a swap.
173
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:16,304
- 'Fair, a gun swap is-is...'
- 'Alright. Alright.'
174
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,598
Just be careful with it there.
No, no, no.
175
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:21,643
Alright. There you go.
There you go.
176
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,478
'Now, put that gun down, okay?'
177
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,772
This is a toy.
This ain't the real, uh...
178
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:26,648
'Oh, [bleep].'
179
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:29,192
- Down! Down!
- 'Aah!'
180
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,361
'Get out! [bleep]'
181
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,946
Oh, where's my drink?
182
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,949
You took my drink!
You took my drink!
183
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:42,956
'Tower, this is SB-2.'
184
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,375
'We've got a positive I.D.
On that milk shake.'
185
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,585
'Garcia and jones
are in pursuit.'
186
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:50,463
- 'Hey, ho!'
- 'Slow down!'
187
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,465
- No!
- 'Freeze!'
188
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:53,675
Oh, [bleep].
189
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,303
- 'Oh, dear.'
- Aah!
190
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,846
- 'Oh, my God!'
- Stop!
191
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,307
- No! Get up, sir!
- 'Get up, sir! Run!'
192
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,143
Run! Oh, they're killing him
in there. I got to call an EMT.
193
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,686
- No.
- I gotta call EMT.
194
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,688
Let's just let nature
take its course.
195
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,689
Oh, man. Sweet Lord.
196
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,691
He's disfigured.
He's got to be disfigured.
197
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,693
Holy, me. Hey.
198
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,695
Ho! Ho! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
199
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,822
Hey, you, son of a bitch!
200
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:16,740
- Freeze!
- Hey, freeze, sir!
201
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,874
Hey!
202
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,378
- Hey!
- Congratulations.
203
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:30,879
Can I shove this
down here, maybe?
204
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,715
Mm-hmm. Ouch. Ouch.
205
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,845
Parking brake! Parking brake!
206
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,263
'I got it. I got it. I got it.'
207
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,306
We're in park, and we're good.
208
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,725
- 'Hey. Does she know karate?'
- Does she know?
209
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,394
Oh, hell, yeah, she does.
Watch this.
210
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,229
'Break the table
with your face.'
211
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,856
A little kiss for the bride...
212
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:50,899
- 'Oh!'
- 'Oh!'
213
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:54,736
Yeah!
214
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,072
- 'Yeah.'
- 'Whoo!'
215
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,740
- Yeah. It's pretty good, right?
- Yeah.
216
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,701
Alright, I'm-I'm gonna
sit down, alright?
217
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:04,079
- 'How about presents--'
- 'Why don't we do?'
218
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,955
- 'That's a good idea.'
- Do some presents.
219
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,584
I got you something,
the two lovebirds.
220
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:13,463
- From them. Oh.
- 'Oh.'
221
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,925
'I made it. I made that.'
222
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:20,637
It's the--
The macaroni's still wet there.
223
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,097
You cooked this macaroni?
224
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,474
Yeah, well,
you can't have it raw.
225
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,726
- It'll kill you.
- 'Alright, another gift.'
226
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,645
- 'Let's keep the party moving.'
- 'Whoo!'
227
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:32,565
Huh? A nail kit, huh?
228
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,860
So when everybody leaves, you
can hook me up and do my nails.
229
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,737
You're Chinese.
230
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,281
- 'Yeah, y'all do nails.'
- Yeah.
231
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,201
They make these in Korea...
232
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,120
'Don't throw it.'
233
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,294
It sounds, when they talk, it
sounds like they're mad, like...
234
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,258
'She knows English, too.'
235
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,468
'She's smart as a whip, right?'
236
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,304
What's your pet name
for me in English?
237
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:07,600
sucker. Yeah.
238
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,102
'That's a good-
good thing to learn.'
239
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,812
'It's d-different there.'
240
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,647
Cocks are like, they're like
241
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,941
two below monkey
on the magic scale.
242
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:18,778
- Dragon, dog, monkey, cock.
- Yeah.
243
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:22,198
'And the king is the man
who sucks the [bleep].'
244
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:27,162
So the [bleep]sucker is like
the king of all [bleep]suckers.
245
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,663
Yeah, I think.
246
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,165
- 'Well, that's you, Junior.'
- 'Right.'
247
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,000
- 'Yeah.'
- You are [bleep].
248
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,090
Son of a bitch!
249
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,510
Whoa! Oh, okay, Carl Lewis!
250
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,052
- Freeze!
- Okay.
251
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,972
Oh, you want to go, huh?
252
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,683
- Oh! Freeze!
- Ah! [bleep].
253
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,351
- 'Son of a bitch!'
- 'No!'
254
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:53,188
Hey, freeze! No, no!
255
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,065
Son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch.
256
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:58,277
Hey, hey! Hey!
257
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,115
Who is this guy?
258
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,618
- Unh!
- What-what the [bleep].
259
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,870
Holy [bleep]. Holy
260
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:09,996
'Hey, hey! hey!'
261
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,916
Oh, you think you're cool, huh?
262
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:14,876
Let's go! Come on!
263
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,045
- Freeze!
- Where are you at?
264
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,263
How you doing today, sir?
265
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,724
Hey, th-thank God you're here.
266
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,683
Thank the good Lord, you came.
267
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,353
One of my fal-
my prize falcon flew away.
268
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,771
I can't find him.
And maybe-- Had you found him?
269
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,565
Did you find the falcon?
270
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,068
Hm. Well, not yet.
271
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,903
As you know, the falcon
is like, uh--
272
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,239
They're like a flying dog.
273
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,907
Oh, wait. Let me just
ask you a question.
274
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,076
The falcon leaves here
275
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,787
it goes and fetches
and then brings something
276
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,997
whatever it fetches back?
277
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,083
Back-back here, back to the pad.
278
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:58,044
Okay, has he brought
an eyeball back to the pad?
279
00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:58,920
A what? An eyeball?
280
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,591
- No?
- I don't think so.
281
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,718
You know, it's just
that we have a homeless person
282
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:08,930
in ICU right now,
missing an eyeball.
283
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,099
What makes you think
a falcon did it?
284
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:15,061
Uh, 'cause he screamed,
"a falcon took my eyeball!
285
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,563
A falcon took my eyeball!"
286
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,398
Do you know, what he needs
to do is to talk to me
287
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,442
and I can have him
go through falcon trauma.
288
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,611
Uh, you know, of people
who go through
289
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,113
trauma caused by falcons.
290
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,115
He probably
is in a state of mind
291
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,033
that's not conducive to health.
292
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,411
Well, I would say so.
He don't have an eyeball.
293
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,913
How about we finish talking
to you down at the station?
294
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:38,126
Okay, so, do I have my choice
of seats or what?
295
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,335
- The back.
- There's one choice.
296
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:40,378
Only in the back.
297
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,222
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay
298
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,099
- 'Come on.'
- I give up.
299
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:53,850
- 'Alright.'
- Please.
300
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,769
'You give? [bleep]'
301
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,771
- Alright, truce. Truce.
- 'Truce, man.'
302
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,690
- 'Thank you.'
- Thank God.
303
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:05,278
Whoa! [bleep] man, you're
taking a pounding.
304
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,863
Those thing's like
a huge shock absorber.
305
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,991
I don't feel a thing.
Absolutely nothing, yeah.
306
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,993
- You don't feel that?
- 'No, nothing.'
307
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,453
I mean, hit me,
hit me like I just
308
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,829
you know, insulted
your mother or something.
309
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,289
- Like, really hit me.
- I'm really gonna hit you.
310
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,957
Yeah! Yeah, go for it.
311
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:21,002
Yeah! I-I didn't feel
any of that.
312
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,629
Nothing.
I don't feel any of that.
313
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,509
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
314
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,553
No, I didn't feel any of that.
315
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,013
- 'Oh, man.'
- That's cool.
316
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,056
- 'Yeah, that's cool.'
- That was awesome, man.
317
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,725
- You need a ride?
- Oh, no, no.
318
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,644
You know, I just live
right behind me.
319
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,520
- You live right over here?
- Yeah. Right over there.
320
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,190
Alright. Alright, little buddy.
321
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,691
- Well, take care, buddy.
- Alright.
322
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,319
Hey, be good, alright? Oh!
323
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,197
Alright.
324
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,032
Hey, guys. Hey, I think
I might need that lift home.
325
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,660
I think I pulled my hamstring.
326
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:56,037
You need a ride? You want a--
327
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,830
'Oh, my God!'
328
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:58,998
Oh, [bleep] Holy Lord!
329
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:01,042
[bleep]
330
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,878
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
331
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,004
[bleep]
[bleep]
332
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,255
- Go, go, go!
- Go, go!
333
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,094
I just look forward
to my retirement years
334
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:15,014
here at the Old Homestead
and a bunch of little, uh
335
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,558
little babies crawling around
336
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,895
and learning to eat
barbecue with chopsticks.
337
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,564
And it'll just be
like home on the range.
338
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:27,361
And I'll be on little Qua Junior
here like white on rice.
339
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,591
♪ Caribbean Queen ♪
340
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:54,762
♪ Now we're sharing
the same dream ♪
341
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:58,558
♪ Two hearts will beat as one ♪
342
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:03,271
♪ No more love on the run ♪
343
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,897
I got nothing. How about you?
344
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,274
'Yeah, we got an APB'
345
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,152
'for a '72 Ford Wintergreen
Winnebago Coachman'
346
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:15,074
'license Nevada-Bravo-
4738-Victory-Bravo-Charlie.'
347
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,951
Oh, [bleep] that's me.
348
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,619
Oh, [bleep].
349
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,704
Go, go, go!
350
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,456
'Officers, proceed
with caution.'
351
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,332
'There is one angry tiny Asian '
352
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,209
'behind the wheel
of that coachman.'
353
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,128
M-maybe-- She's not angry.
That's just the way they talk.
354
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,882
{\an8}'That's just the way
the voice sounds.'
355
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,014
- No. Yep, there she is.
- 'Yeah.'
356
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,432
'Home, sweet home.'
357
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:42,143
Wintergreen Winnebago coachman,
we're in pursuit.
358
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,187
'Oh, look at that.
Nice piece of denim.'
359
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,272
'Don't do that.
Those-those are my new--'
360
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,983
'That's a really nice boot
back there.'
361
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,611
Oh, man.
I still got the other one.
362
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,113
Oh, baby. Now, come on, baby.
Let's talk it out.
363
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,492
sucker!
364
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,202
'Oh, there goes the porn.
There goes the porn.'
365
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,496
- God. Baby--
- 'That's all porno?'
366
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,206
Yeah, some of that was my dad's.
That stuff's irreplaceable.
367
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:07,168
Pull over. I'm gonna
take care of business.
368
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,130
'Oh, [bleep] be careful!'
369
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,674
He's going into a skylight.
370
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:14,884
Go around!
371
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,177
'I don't know if your
homeowner's insurance'
372
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:20,014
'covers you for this!'
373
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,682
He's in. He's in.
He's in. He's in.
374
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,851
He's in. Okay. We're good.
This will be good.
375
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:26,771
'You know, they're both
reasonable people.'
376
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:27,981
Aah!
377
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,152
I'm backing up. I'm backing up.
I'm backing up.
378
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:36,239
Travis! Travis!
379
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,536
Oh, Travis!
380
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,038
Are you alive?
381
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,873
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.
382
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:50,378
If you love something... you just
got to let it go sometimes.
383
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,505
Yeah.
384
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,174
- You love that Winnebago.
- Yeah.
385
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:58,553
Tell you, you could pull
yourself up by your bootstraps
386
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,221
and... you and me could go
387
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:06,102
and... get some jeans and porno
off of this road here.
388
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,354
What do you say, huh?
389
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,857
Sounds good.
390
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,357
Alright.
391
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,238
{\an8}'So, I never saw that special.'
392
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:20,408
{\an8}'Did Geraldo find the guy
in the tomb, or didn't he?'
393
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,493
{\an8}No.
394
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,204
Hey, Junior, what is that,
a letter from Qua?
395
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,791
What does it say?
396
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,419
How the [bleep] should I know?
397
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,171
You should probably take this
398
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,297
to that Restaurant
Wok Around The Clock.
399
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,091
Somebody there could read that.
400
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:40,303
No, I-I don't want to be
eating any Chinese anytime soon.
401
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,557
Hey, Junior, hey, now,
Pirnt was a good woman.
402
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,267
Qua.
403
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,894
And she was not a good woman.
404
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,104
She was a horrible woman.
405
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,148
Life goes on. Check-check.
406
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,274
'Greener pastures.'
407
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,401
Guys, guys. TV, you guys, TV.
408
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:58,446
Devastation the community
is feeling.
409
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,072
A candlelight vigil
is being held
410
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,365
for 31-year-old Andy Freeman
411
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:05,620
an aspiring magician who took
a part-time job to pay rent
412
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,496
dressing as a delicious milk shake.
413
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,333
A delicious,
now dead, milk shake.
414
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,919
Horrifying allegations
have shocked Washoe County
415
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,211
today after the following
homemade video footage
416
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,297
was released to the media.
417
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,175
This video contains acts
of terrifying police brutality.
418
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,479
- 'Oh!'
- Oh!
419
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,357
'The identity of the deputies'
420
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,859
'responsible for these acts
is still unknown.'
421
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:39,111
There is no doubt
that those responsible
422
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:41,113
will have to pay for their acts.
423
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,448
'Reporting from Route 395'
424
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:45,786
'This is Maria Storm,
Channel 10 "News at 10:00."'
425
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,889
{\an8}and Wa Shing Qua Junior
426
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,099
{\an8}that you all made it down.
427
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,350
{\an8}'Thank you. I very--
Very appreciate it.'
428
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,352
{\an8}Can you say your
name again for us?
429
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,312
{\an8}You're nine?
31590
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