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1
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,714
{\an8}We got a couple
of trespassers here.
2
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,216
{\an8}- Yeah.
- There they are.
3
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,802
{\an8}'Well, time to chase them away.'
4
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,348
What the hell are you two
doin' out here, huh?
5
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:19,393
What the hell are you kids
doin' out here, it's too late!
6
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,854
'My partner asked you
a question.'
7
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,856
We have no problem taking
your little asses to jail.
8
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,107
- You wanna go to jail?
- Do you wanna go to jail?
9
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:28,277
'Or you want to go to juvie?
Hmm. Ha?'
10
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,445
Why don't we call your parents?
11
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,904
We'll call your your parents,
right now.
12
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,281
...folks, right now.
13
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:36,744
Alright? Okay? Listen up, okay.
14
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,787
Okay, we got a bigger group
of y'all...
15
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:43,000
Listen up, now, y'all
just clear on out of here, okay?
16
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,960
Just... Please, just go home,
okay, guys?
17
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,963
Please, seriously, just...
Just please go home.
18
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,214
Alright, you know what,
my partner
19
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,758
'will count to three, okay?'
20
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,134
- I'll do it.
- And you'd better be gone.
21
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,595
- I'll do it, I'll count.
- 'He will count.'
22
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,807
- One...
- Two...
23
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,435
'Aah! You son of a ***!
You son of a ***!'
24
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,686
'Mother ***...'
25
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,438
We need backup!
We're bein' egged!
26
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,190
Aah! ***! Aah!
27
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,316
Son of a bitch!
28
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,611
- Go, go, go, go!
- Ah!
29
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,571
- 'Son of a ***!'
- Goddammit!
30
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,823
Aah, my ankle!
31
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,408
My ankle! Just go without me!
32
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,619
I will not go without you!
You ***!
33
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,537
'Go, go, go, go!'
34
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,790
- Son of a bitch!
- 'A-ah!'
35
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,793
'Stay down! Stay down!
Stay down!'
36
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,753
Son of a bitch!
37
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,840
Get off!
38
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,230
{\an8}Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h!
39
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,030
{\an8}Hey, dog. Yeah.
40
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,289
{\an8}Ho! Ho! Ho!
41
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,849
{\an8}'Good evening, I'm Sheriff
Walter Chechokevich.'
42
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,016
{\an8}'I'd like to tell you about'
43
00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:25,395
{\an8}'a evenin' about
old ten years ago.'
44
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,522
{\an8}It was Halloween eve.
45
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,692
{\an8}I'd been on the force
about 10 years.
46
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,278
{\an8}And I got the dreaded call...
47
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,405
Domestic disturbance.
48
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,490
- And to make matters worse...
- 'Did he?'
49
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,701
That call...
50
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,743
...was the Dalton House.
51
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,872
- Ooh.
- 'Daily Dee.'
52
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,082
As I made my way
toward that front gate
53
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:51,336
'I turned,
and I saw that Grandma Dalton'
54
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,756
'was comin' down with that
hatchet that she was carryin'.'
55
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,342
And I raised my arm
to defend myself.
56
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,972
Now, please
I don't wanna see any of you
57
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:05,518
lose your hand
this Halloween evenin'.
58
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,271
Or any other appendage,
for that matter.
59
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,106
'Trust no one...'
60
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:13,108
'Not your fellow officer
tonight...'
61
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,070
'...not your wife,
not your husband...'
62
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,948
'...not even little kiddie.'
63
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,287
Now, get on out there
and protect that community!
64
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,713
That's really
how he lost his hand?
65
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,131
He didn't lose his hand
66
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,967
you could see his fingers
through his thing.
67
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,510
'Sheriff, check your shorts.'
68
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,513
He's... He's, he's goofin'.
69
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,515
You don't remember last year
when he came in and he...
70
00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:46,642
'He had a peg leg.'
71
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,769
- 'Oh.'
- Oh, right, right, right, yeah.
72
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,064
Why are you wearing that?
73
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:56,193
Because once again I was told
by each and every one of you
74
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,194
that you were coming to work
in costume today
75
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,155
and, once again,
like the last eight years
76
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,115
I show up optimistically
in a costume
77
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,451
and I'm the only one
wearing one, so...
78
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,162
'This uniform is a costume.'
79
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,122
'No, it's very funny.
it's very funny.'
80
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:13,335
Guys, w-we all, we all joke
around, but, but, seriously
81
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,504
the Sheriff is...
He's a crazy old man
82
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,172
but he's absolutely right,
Halloween's an awful night
83
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,757
so watch your ass,
seriously, people.
84
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,429
{\an8}Hey, T.T.
85
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,849
- What's goin' on?
- What's the matter now, T.T.?
86
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,184
- 'Whoa. Calm down!'
- Slow your roll, lady. Alright?
87
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,354
Wanna tell you,
wanna tell you somethin'.
88
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,815
Halloween ain't no joke, huh?
89
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,401
- "Halloween ain't no joke."
- Halloween ain't no joke!
90
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,819
- 'Whoa!'
- 'T.T., no!'
91
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,320
'T.T., you made
a killin' tonight.'
92
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,072
No, you got a lot of candy here.
93
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,783
- Hey, hey, I know you.
- Mm-hmm.
94
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,369
- Yeah, you know me.
- Hey, how you doin', brother?
95
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,704
Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm very good.
96
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,874
- Who that white boy you with?
- This is Garcia, you know him.
97
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,376
- You know him?
- I don't know you.
98
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:57,629
Yeah, you want a profile?
Profile... profile, that's me.
99
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,175
No! Hey! Hey!
100
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,344
- Whoa... whoa, you--
- 'No, no, no. No, T.T.
101
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,139
'You better stop it.
Stop it, T.T.'
102
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,641
Come on, sweetheart.
Come on, baby.
103
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,601
Nah-ah, no
104
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:14,104
No, she tryin' to hump me now,
man, no, ahh.
105
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:17,065
- Please.
- No, okay, you know what...
106
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,692
Look, why don't, why don't...
Let's go to the car, okay?
107
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,864
- T.T., let's take this...
- I got, I got her, I got her.
108
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,949
- Mmm.
- Uh-huh.
109
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,411
- T.T... Can you get...
- 'No.'
110
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,205
- T.T., no, T.T.
- Boy, I feel like I'm rich.
111
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,750
We got white people
drivin' us around.
112
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,376
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You know what I'm sayin'?
113
00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,211
- Like, he's no good.
- Mm-hmm.
114
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,589
And like, and like we-we're the
important people in the back.
115
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,424
- Drivin' Ms. T.T...
- Aah.
116
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,055
{\an8}Every year on Halloween,
uh, night
117
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,432
{\an8}the neighborhood kids
get a real gas
118
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,226
{\an8}out of comin' over
to Trudy Wiegel's house
119
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:55,437
{\an8}and nabbing one of her cats.
120
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,647
This year I've set up
a sting operation
121
00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:00,942
so I've got a taxidermied cat
in my front lawn.
122
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:03,612
He was real at one time.
123
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,446
'That was Tigger.'
124
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:09,367
He died of a...
an ingrown declaw.
125
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:10,786
But, uh, so far, no takers.
126
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,791
'Holy crap, we got one.
we got one.'
127
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:16,501
Holy hell!
128
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,669
Holy hell!
129
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:20,962
I could see you!
130
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:23,465
I see you! Hold!
131
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,258
- Hey!
- Oh, Trudy.
132
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,968
Wiegel, we were patrolling
the alley.
133
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,386
- Thank God you're here.
- 'Yeah.'
134
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:32,140
W-We followed, two Korean kids.
They were in this alley and...
135
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,643
That's exactly what it was...
just a couple of Korean kids.
136
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,103
- '...and check on them.'
- Oh, hell!
137
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,312
Yeah, good thing
we were here.
138
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,855
Well, good thing you were here.
139
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:40,107
Thanks for scarin'
those guys away.
140
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,776
We could probably, they...
We could probably get pursuit.
141
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,820
- I can still catch 'em.
- 'Let's... Go! I'll, uh...'
142
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,322
- Thanks, Travis.
- 'I'll hold the fort here.'
143
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,532
Yeah, look for Korean kids
144
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,534
and you'll see them,
yo-you'll know.
145
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,662
Here. Here take one, too.
146
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,832
Get over that, uh, that uh...
147
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,002
She's comin' back.
148
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,055
You guys see 'em, the Koreans?
149
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:15,100
- They got away.
- 'Oh, man.'
150
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,977
Holy crap!
151
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,855
Tigger!
152
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,315
Tigger?
153
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,568
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty, kitty, kitty...
154
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:28,113
'Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty... Oh!'
155
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,532
'That's awful, just awful.'
156
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:35,288
Ugh, Jim,
another Halloween they got me.
157
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,289
- They got me.
- ***.
158
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,875
- The *** Koreans.
- Yeah.
159
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:43,045
[instrumental music
160
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,886
{\an8}This is private property, sir.
161
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,512
{\an8}Sir, this is private property.
162
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:53,471
{\an8}- Private property, sir.
- Put your hands up, sir.
163
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,724
Hands in the air,
hands in the air.
164
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,059
- Hands in the air, sir!
- Put your hands up!
165
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,186
Trick or treat.
166
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,397
- 'Ugh.'
- Ee! Ee!
167
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,232
You guys want to come in
for some candy?
168
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,650
- No. No.
- No, thank you.
169
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,735
Another 10-18.
170
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,572
{\an8}One thing that I cannot stand
about Halloween...
171
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,783
{\an8}What is this fascination
172
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:17,413
{\an8}with people puttin'
firecrackers up cats' butts?
173
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,457
I don't understand
why that's fun.
174
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,293
I don't like kids
beggin' for food, okay?
175
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:27,422
I think it's a, it's a whole
thing that is settin' them off
176
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,590
for welfare livin', okay?
177
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,384
'Cause there they are,
they're going out of their house
178
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,929
they're blowin' up stuff,
and showin' up
179
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,180
with a bag,
and they're beggin' for food.
180
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,849
that's gonna set the pattern
for the rest of their life.
181
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,392
They're not gonna want
to work on a job.
182
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,810
They're gonna beg for money.
183
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,646
They're gonna beg
for food checks.
184
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,773
- Okay? This is sendin' the wr--
- Oh, I got, I gotta disagree.
185
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:48,193
I trick-or-treated as a kid
and I am not on welfare.
186
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,861
I've always been
gainfully employed.
187
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,447
Well, you're one
of the lucky ones.
188
00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:01,289
{\an8}Where are you goin'?
Where are you goin'?
189
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,707
Back up.
What are you doin' tonight?
190
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,544
Defacin' some property,
startin' a fire, maybe?
191
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,838
That's nice
"Satan is my friend."
192
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,799
What's up? What's goin' on?
What are we doin' here?
193
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,884
- Having a little fun on...
- 'Satan's birthday.'
194
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,387
Yeah, this looks like a blast.
Satan's birthday?
195
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,556
Hate to break it to you,
Satan doesn't exist.
196
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,476
Let's all sit down,
let's all sit down.
197
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,895
Yeah, on the ground.
198
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,732
Let's talk about the true spirit
of Halloween here.
199
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:32,988
Halloween is a celebration
of the changing of the seasons.
200
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,490
Alright?
You ever heard of Wicca?
201
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,200
Wicca...
It's an Earth-based religion.
202
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,411
Okay, there is no devil.
203
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,205
There is no horned God, alright?
204
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,498
He doesn't exist.
205
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:44,583
There are Gods and Goddesses.
206
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,461
I don't know
what this little shindig is
207
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,838
and that better be light beer.
208
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,007
That better be light beer.
209
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,883
It's gonna go straight
to your gut.
210
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,969
You're gonna have a beer belly
by the time you're seventeen.
211
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,262
It's not attractive,
it's not sexy.
212
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,683
{\an8}This is for fun. Okay?
213
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,687
{\an8}I don't know why we have
to make this big schmagilla
214
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,689
{\an8}about this stuff. I mean,
I'm here to scare people...
215
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:12,485
{\an8}...traumatized here, and,
and, and the woman here...
216
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,029
She's scared half
out of her mind.
217
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,365
Scare! Say it again, scare!
Scary House.
218
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,409
It's called a Scary House,
and every year I do this
219
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,161
I've never had anythin',
I've never...
220
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,955
Have you ever been called out
to my house? Never...
221
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,665
No, I don't know
if I have but I know
222
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:26,958
the Sheriff's Department has.
223
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,460
Well, okay, that was something
totally different
224
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,544
and that,
that I was pardoned for.
225
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,213
When I'm in there,
I'm in character.
226
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,424
Okay? And I'm not,
I'm not Steve Marmella.
227
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,759
Okay? I'm a... Boo!
228
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,720
You know, I'm a... Boo!
I'm a... This is a rib cage...
229
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,221
I'm a ghoul in the night.
230
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,348
Even if I should happen
to brush up against, you know--
231
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,725
- Don't, hey.
- I'm sorry.
232
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,060
What I found outrageous is
233
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,728
you didn't feel like
a brush up against her breast?
234
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,230
She felt a human penis
in a bowl.
235
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,191
Okay, that's the statement
that she gave my partner.
236
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,735
A human penis
in a spaghetti bowl.
237
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,905
She fe... These are...
That is entrails of doom.
238
00:10:56,906 --> 00:11:00,241
Okay, well, you, you don't deny
that this is spaghetti?
239
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,910
- Mm-hmm.
- You don't den-deny that thi--
240
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,953
Oh, you caught me.
it's spaghetti!
241
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,580
What the hell
is happening here?
242
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,249
This is crazy. Absolutely crazy.
243
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,376
- That's your bowl, right, sir?
- Yeah, well--
244
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,627
'And, uh,
and what's with this hole here?'
245
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,672
'What's,
wh-what's the hole here for?'
246
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,422
It's... entrails.
247
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,967
Bwa-a-a-a-a-h!
Bwa-a-a-a-a-h!
248
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,761
Entrails, bwah.
249
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,888
D-Do you deny tha-that,
that could fit a human penis?
250
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,726
- The hole fits, wear it, sir.
- Not, not... Ha-ha-ha.
251
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,561
- If the hole fits, wear it.
- 'What?'
252
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,314
{\an8}I'm gonna teach you
a little spell.
253
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,732
{\an8}You can call it a spell.
254
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:36,444
{\an8}Ah, you can call it
a magical rite, whatever.
255
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:37,612
If you need to get back
at somebody
256
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,698
take your power back,
what you can do is
257
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:44,035
A, get a personal object
from that person
258
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,704
summon the en-energies
of the four winds
259
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:47,330
you're gonna chant,
260
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:51,668
"Fire, malice, fear..."
261
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,336
- "Fire, malice, fear..."
- "Fear..."
262
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,046
- 'Times three.'
- "Times three."
263
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,298
"Times three."
264
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,259
- "So and so..."
- Justin Timberlake.
265
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,512
"Feel my treachery."
266
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:03,805
Do you have time to hang out
with us for a little bit?
267
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:07,809
I would love to, 'cause these
candles smell really good.
268
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,270
I'd actually like to find out
where you got those.
269
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,064
{\an8}Oh, look at this here.
270
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,734
{\an8}'What do we have here?'
271
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,360
'Ugh.'
272
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:20,488
Get back! Move! Get back.
273
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:30,623
What's wrong with you, huh?
This is foolish.
274
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:31,749
This is the oldest trick
in the book.
275
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,669
"Oh, I'mma go out
and get a bag of boo-boo.
276
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,212
"I'm gonna put it
on the man's doorstep.
277
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,839
"He gonna come outside,
see the bag...
278
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,257
"Bom, Bom, Bom, step on the bag.
279
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,842
then he got boo-boo
all over his foot."
280
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,302
That is foolishness!
281
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,678
I'mma gonna tell you right now,
I knew what you was gonna do
282
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,848
'cause what? I got eyes
in the back of my head.
283
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,724
I'mma gonna tell you right now
284
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:52,270
it's Halloween,
and I'mma let you slide.
285
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,563
But the next time
it's gonna be me and you.
286
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,858
You understand?
Now get to get.
287
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,026
I said get!
288
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,738
You go on and, uh, and continue
to have a safe night.
289
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,367
Halloween.
290
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,369
Oh-h-h!
291
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,372
What did you do?
What did you do?
292
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,335
All my makeup was in there!
293
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,261
{\an8}I'll tell you, it's real scary
294
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:28,223
{\an8}to be a police officer
on Halloween.
295
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:32,393
{\an8}Uh, one year I remember
we had free candy out
296
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,395
you know, someone had brought
in free candy
297
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,438
for everyone in the station
298
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:39,275
and I near choked to death
on a Jolly Rancher.
299
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,818
You take your life
in your own hands
300
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:43,905
in this business,
especially around Halloween.
301
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,908
{\an8}Halloween is truly
hell on earth
302
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,368
{\an8}for a law-enforcement officer.
303
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,579
{\an8}It, it... I wouldn't wish
what happens to us
304
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,873
on my worst enemy.
305
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,917
People want to *** us up
on Halloween.
306
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,712
Was it your car that had, uh,
the port-a-potty dumped?
307
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,675
- The whole--
- 'Well, yeah.'
308
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,928
'You were in it, though.'
309
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,097
Yep, I don't know how
310
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,766
it was, they were very
organized, those little ***.
311
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:15,436
{\an8}We got another okay corral
here at the liquor store.
312
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:18,731
{\an8}- Another crazy Halloween.
- Dangle's having a bad night.
313
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:19,190
- 'Dangle!'
- 'Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!'
314
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,111
- 'Hey! Hey! Hey!'
- What happened?
315
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,698
- What's goin' on?
- Jones got this one.
316
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,993
Jones got this one,
and got this one...
317
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,619
Okay, hold on.
what have we got, five?
318
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:34,247
We got five? Whoa, calm down.
319
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,624
Sit down, buddy.
320
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,588
- It was awful, it was awful.
- What happened?
321
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,799
Am I gonna have to smack you?
I can't understand you.
322
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,676
- 'Take it easy.'
- I can't understand you.
323
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,470
'It's okay, it's okay.'
324
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,141
'Ugh.'
325
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,102
Un-hun...
326
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,193
I'm gonna ride with him.
327
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,157
'That's alright. It's alright.'
328
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,034
'It's okay, baby.'
329
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,663
It's okay, baby, come on, now.
330
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,165
It's okay, it's okay.
331
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,841
- Happy Halloween!
- Happy Halloween!
332
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:27,383
Happy Halloween!
333
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,053
Thanks, man, thanks.
334
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,516
{\an8}♪ The mash ♪
335
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:39,062
{\an8}♪ He did the monster mash ♪
{\an8}♪ The monster mash ♪
{\an8}♪ He did the monster mash ♪
{\an8}♪ The monster mash ♪
336
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:42,523
{\an8}♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
{\an8}♪ He did the mash ♪
337
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,608
{\an8}♪ It got caught on in a flash ♪
338
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,152
'Hey, guys.'
339
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:49,530
Uh, Lloyd, I'm gonna need
a bottle of Jagey and six shots.
340
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,493
- What is this about, Johnson?
- You'll see, you'll see.
341
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,452
Jones had something
342
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:57,288
that, uh, he probably wanted
all of us to see
343
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,500
so just bear with me, alright?
344
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,211
Oh, sorry! No, that's not it!
345
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,922
'Just look at Wiegel's
cat suit or something.'
346
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,508
Why did you bring
that up in here?
347
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,385
- 'That's not it.'
- 'Whoa! wow.'
348
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:14,222
Okay, alright, sorry, sorry,
that's not it.
349
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,057
'How do you know
he wanted us to see--'
350
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,850
- Whoa!
- 'Alright, that's not it!'
351
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:21,062
- You are a whore.
- 'Oh, shut up.'
352
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,231
- 'Okay, okay, okay.'
- 'That's great.'
353
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,900
I've had a lot in my day,
you know that?
354
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,986
You know who
the booty call... is, Williams.
355
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,031
- This is not...
- What the hell is this?
356
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,409
- I'm a booty call?
- 'What is a booty call?'
357
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,661
'I'mma...
I'm a booty call, Jonesy?'
358
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,329
Sorry, this is not by the...
359
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,373
I thought it was cued up,
you guys. I'm sorry.
360
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,749
'...about Garcia?'
361
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,335
- 'What?'
- Garcia's impotent.
362
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,547
♪ damn it, son of a bitch!
363
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,258
- 'Okay, no.'
- 'How did he...'
364
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,177
...Dangle would
hate anyone to know about him.
365
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,929
Dangle wears a toupee.
366
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,472
It's not a toupee,
it's not a toupee.
367
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,771
'...what I'm gonna do.'
368
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,523
I want to die on duty
369
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,568
you know, serving Reno
and protecting Reno.
370
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,986
'You've thought
about that, huh?'
371
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,739
I mean, if I were to die,
that's how I'd die.
372
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,365
'I'd like to die on force.'
373
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,743
'And, you know,
I don't want any tears'
374
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,662
'I don't want a huge fanfare
or anything.'
375
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,706
'Go to, uh, Lloyd's Bar'
376
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:26,127
'and, and
have a shot of... Jagey.'
377
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,963
- 'And, uh...'
- Hey.
378
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,381
'You know, take ten, ten shots
of Jagey.'
379
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:39,265
Every time, say "Jones. Jones."
380
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,308
- 'Ten shots.'
- Let's go, guys, Jones.
381
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,478
- I can't even do one.
- Shut up, you'll do ten.
382
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:45,062
He was drunk, you guys.
383
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:48,859
I'd just like to say
to all of you...
384
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,490
...it's not a toupee,
it's a, it's a, it's human hair.
385
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,658
- Shh.
- 'Who gives a ***?'
386
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:25,478
'Jonesy. Ha-ha...'
387
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,108
I'm gonna miss you, Jones.
388
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,320
I'm gonna miss you, man.
389
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,535
Boo!
390
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,707
That's not funny!
391
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,881
I cannot believe you did this!
392
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,050
Wiegel's coming,
Wiegel's coming.
393
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,844
Okay. *** let's do it again,
le-let's do it again.
394
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,929
- Okay.
- Here, here, here.
395
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,557
- He-he-he.
- Shh, shh, shh.
396
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,852
'Shh.'
397
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:37,925
Boo!
398
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,373
Guys?
399
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,962
'Guys?'
30249
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