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1
00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:03,021
: I am not a prophet.
2
00:00:03,021 --> 00:00:06,021
But sometimes I have prophetic dreams.
3
00:00:06,021 --> 00:00:09,021
Like the one where I was at a garden party.
4
00:00:16,021 --> 00:00:18,021
Excuse me.
5
00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:21,021
Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make.
6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,021
Jesus was black,
Ronald Reagan was the devil,
7
00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:27,021
and the government
is lyin' about 9/11.
8
00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:30,021
Thank you for your time and good night.
9
00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:33,021
No!
10
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That can't be true!
11
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Unhand me!
12
00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:45,021
Hi-ya!
13
00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,021
MAN:
He's on fire!
14
00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:49,021
Somebody get some water.
15
00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:52,021
Ow!
16
00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,021
Mm-hm. You havin' that dream
where you made
17
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,021
the white people riot,
weren't ya?
18
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,021
But I was tellin' the truth!
19
00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021
How many times have I told you,
you better not even dream
20
00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021
about tellin' white folk
the truth?
21
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:02,021
You understand me?
22
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,021
Shoot.
23
00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,021
Makin' white people riot.
24
00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,021
You better learn
how to lie like me.
25
00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:11,021
I'm gonna find me a white man
and lie to him right now.
26
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,021
Sorry, Billy Blanks,
but why buy the tape
27
00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,021
when you can get
the infomercial for free?
28
00:02:07,021 --> 00:02:08,021
Whew!
29
00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:18,021
What the hell?
30
00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,021
Boys!
31
00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:26,021
Would one of y'all like
to explain this?
32
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,021
Uh...
33
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:31,021
You mean, the orange juice
or the miniskirt?
34
00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:33,021
Which one of y'all drank
the last glass of orange juice?
35
00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:35,021
That's the last full day's
supply of vitamin C.
36
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:38,021
What am I supposed to do
about my vitamin C now?
37
00:02:38,021 --> 00:02:41,021
Y'all need to start
appreciatin' your granddaddy.
38
00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,021
I went and spent
your inheritance
39
00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:44,021
on this beautiful house
in this neighborhood.
40
00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:46,021
And all I ask you to do
41
00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:47,021
is act like you got some class.
42
00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,021
Hey, what's class?
43
00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:51,021
It means don't act
like niggas.
44
00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:54,021
S-see? That's what
I'm talkin' about right there.
45
00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:55,021
We don't use the N-word
in this house.
46
00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,021
Granddad, you said the word
"nigga" 46 times yesterday.
47
00:02:58,021 --> 00:02:59,021
I counted.
48
00:02:59,021 --> 00:03:00,021
Nigga, hush.
49
00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,021
Now, you may not like it,
50
00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,021
but I moved y'all out here
51
00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:05,021
to expand your horizon.
52
00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:08,021
There's a new white man
out here.
53
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,021
He's refined.
54
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,021
For example, did you know
55
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,021
that the new white man
loves gourmet cheese?
56
00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:14,021
Wait.
57
00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,021
I'm sorry,
did you say cheese?
58
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,021
Yep, cheese.
59
00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:20,021
You give the meanest white man
a piece of cheese,
60
00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:22,021
and he turn into Mr. Rogers.
61
00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,021
Granddad,
that doesn't make sense.
62
00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,021
Don't you talk back to me.
63
00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,021
Granddad, you can't tame
64
00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:28,021
the white supremacist
power structure with cheese!
65
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,021
Oh, yes, I can!
No, you can't!
66
00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:31,021
GRANDDAD: Yes, I can!
No, you can not!
67
00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:32,021
HUEY:
Cheese.
68
00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:34,021
How can somebody that old
69
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:36,021
say somethin' that stupid?
70
00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:38,021
RILEY:
I know about white people too.
71
00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,021
Like, when they talk,
72
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021
they say the whole word,
73
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021
like this.
74
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021
HUEY:
Why'd he even move us
75
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021
out here?
76
00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,021
Probably did it
just to make us miserable.
77
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021
RILEY:
And white people take time out
78
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021
to study.
79
00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:55,021
I hate this place.
80
00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:58,021
RILEY: And white people arrest you.
81
00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,021
Man.
82
00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:03,021
RILEY:
Hey!
83
00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:08,021
Looks like the feds.
84
00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:19,021
Who the hell could be
knockin' on this door
85
00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:21,021
this early in the mornin'?
86
00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,021
If it's a Jehovah Witness,
I'm kickin' his ass.
87
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,021
Yes?
88
00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,021
I'm looking for Robert Freeman.
89
00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:28,021
I'm Robert Freeman.
90
00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:31,021
I'm Ed Wuncler.
91
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,021
From Wuncler's
Savings and Loan.
92
00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:35,021
Uh, so?
93
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:39,021
I own the bank
that owns your house.
94
00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,021
Oh, well--
95
00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:41,021
Come in, sir.
96
00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:43,021
Welcome to your house.
97
00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:53,021
Robert, my family founded
Woodcrest over 170 years ago.
98
00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:56,021
I was born here,
and I still live here.
99
00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,021
I consider this place
to be family,
100
00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,021
and I'm very selective
101
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:05,021
about who I allow
in to that family.
102
00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,021
You understand
what I'm saying, Robert?
103
00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:11,021
Hey, yes,
I totally understand.
104
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,021
Would you like some...
105
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,021
cheese?
106
00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:18,021
Did you just offer me cheese?
107
00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:19,021
Yes, I did.
108
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,021
I'd love some cheese, thank you.
109
00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:24,021
Hm.
110
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Riley!
111
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Go get the fancy cheese.
112
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:32,021
I'd like to ask some questions,
if you don't mind.
113
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:35,021
Are you gay, and if so,
do you have a gay lover
114
00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:39,021
living with you
in the house?
115
00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,021
Gay? No, I'm not gay.
116
00:05:42,021 --> 00:05:44,021
I mean, I happen to think
a man looks nice
117
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,021
with good hair and a ponytail.
118
00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,021
But, no, mm-mm, I'm not gay.
119
00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,021
What's your position
on gay marriage?
120
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,021
Well, first of all,
121
00:05:52,021 --> 00:05:54,021
I believe all marriage
is wrong.
122
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Good one, good.
123
00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:02,021
Uh, you don't look
like you associate
124
00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,021
with any Muslims,
Arabs, you know.
125
00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:07,021
People of terrorist descent?
126
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,021
Uh, well...
127
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:12,021
RILEY:
We got Kraft,
128
00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:14,021
and we got Velveeta.
129
00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:19,021
Your grandson?
130
00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:22,021
Afraid so. Ahem.
131
00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:26,021
You know, I have a grandson too.
He's--
132
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,021
Is that right?
133
00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:28,021
Well, heh-heh-heh,
134
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,021
this has been delightful.
135
00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,021
Well, it's really been
a pleasure, Mr., uh--
136
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:34,021
I-Own-Everything.
137
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,021
We should get together soon
138
00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:38,021
and have, uh...
more cheese.
139
00:06:38,021 --> 00:06:40,021
Like a nice Brie
or a G-Gouda--
140
00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,021
G-Gayda-- Gouda.
141
00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:44,021
Heh. You know, you're
my kind of guy, Freeman.
142
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,021
Old school.
143
00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:48,021
What are you doin' tomorrow?
144
00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:49,021
We're throwin' a garden party
145
00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,021
for my grandson.
146
00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,021
He just got back from Iraq.
147
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:56,021
You should stop by,
meet some of the neighbors.
148
00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,021
Bring the kids.
149
00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,021
Sounds like a splendid idea.
150
00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,021
I'll see you tomorrow.
151
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,021
Uh, thanks for stoppin' by.
152
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,021
Cheers.
153
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,021
Huey!
154
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,021
GRANDDAD:
This damn thing looks real.
155
00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:13,021
Can I have my gun back?
156
00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021
Son of a--!
157
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,021
GRANDDAD:
A garden party?
158
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,021
Yeah, boy.
159
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,021
I might buy sandals
and new underwear.
160
00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:23,021
Oh, you shot me!
161
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:26,021
Granddad tried
to assassinate me.
162
00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,021
Boy, what did I tell ya?
This is the new white man.
163
00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,021
He's distinguished.
164
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021
Granddad, I do not sip tea
with the enemy.
165
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,021
You could force me to go,
166
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,021
but you cannot force me
to be someone I'm not.
167
00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:41,021
The hell I can't!
168
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,021
You gonna go and you're
not gonna embarrass me
169
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021
in front of my new neighbors,
or I'm gonna beat your ass.
170
00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,021
Why can't we be ourselves, huh?
Why can't I be me?
171
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Are you ashamed of us?
Very.
172
00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,021
We never asked
to move here
173
00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:54,021
with your precious
new white people, Granddad.
174
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:55,021
Didn't ask?
175
00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:56,021
Well, you didn't ask for us
176
00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:58,021
to be attacked
by dogs and fire hoses,
177
00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,021
so you can live here,
but we did it anyway.
178
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,021
Oh, here he go again with
the dogs and the fire hoses.
179
00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:05,021
Shoot, we were attacked
by dogs and fire hoses.
180
00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,021
Were you attacked?
181
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,021
I-I don't know what difference
that makes.
182
00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,021
Because it's like
the whole generation
183
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:14,021
tries to take credit for
what happened to some people.
184
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,021
That's ridiculous.
185
00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:18,021
Now, see--
Well, you know--
186
00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:20,021
Uh, what had happened was...
187
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021
MAN:
Get out of here.
188
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021
Go, go, go!
189
00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:26,021
MAN:
Come on, get out of here.
190
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021
Aw, man.
191
00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,021
I missed it.
Was it bad?
192
00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:31,021
Did they do the thing
with the fire hoses?
193
00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:33,021
What do you think, chump?
194
00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,021
Damn, what's eatin' you?
195
00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,021
A goddamn German shepherd,
that's what.
196
00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,021
Where was you?
197
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,021
I-I had to go back
to the apartment
198
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,021
'cause I forgot
my raincoat.
199
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,021
You went to--? You--?
200
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,021
This nigga went to get
a motherfuckin' raincoat.
201
00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:46,021
I can't believe you.
202
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,021
We all been watchin'
the same news.
203
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:51,021
The police been doin'
this fire hose thing all week.
204
00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:53,021
I just assumed
we'd all wear our raincoat.
205
00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,021
Damn it, Robert.
206
00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:56,021
Who the hell comes
to a march with a raincoat?
207
00:08:56,021 --> 00:08:57,021
Bet you wish
you had a coat now.
208
00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:59,021
You son of a bitch!
209
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:02,021
GRANDDAD:
Remember what Dr. King said!
210
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,021
Who actually got hit with
the fire hose ain't important.
211
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,021
Now, we goin' to this party,
212
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:08,021
and your black asses
are gonna behave.
213
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:12,021
If I'm lucky, I'll find myself
a nice white woman
214
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:15,021
with a flat booty
who'll listen to my problems.
215
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021
GRANDDAD:
Now, the word for the day
216
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021
is "behave."
217
00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,021
H-E-A-V-E.
218
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,021
Behave.
219
00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:31,021
I'm comin', I'm comin'.
220
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,021
Excuse me. Out of the way,
Kunta Kinte! Yes, sir.
221
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,021
How can I help ya?
222
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:37,021
GRANDDAD:
Excuse me?
223
00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:42,021
Oh, Lord have mercy.
Security. Security.
224
00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:44,021
We got a Code Black.
225
00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:46,021
Code Black at the main gate.
226
00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,021
: โ Ruckus, what the hell
227
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,021
is a Code Black?
228
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,021
There are some hungry-lookin'
229
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,021
niggas at the front gate.
230
00:09:53,021 --> 00:09:54,021
What y'all doin' here?
231
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:57,021
Deliveries are in the back.
232
00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:58,021
Well, my name is Robert Freeman,
233
00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,021
I was invited here
by Ed Wuncler.
234
00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:04,021
Well, I'm Ruckus.
Uncle Ruckus, no relation.
235
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,021
And I work for Mr. Wuncler.
236
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021
And you slick niggas
237
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:10,021
ain't gonna fast-talk your way
into this here party.
238
00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:12,021
Ruckus, what the hell
are you doing?
239
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:13,021
Uh, Mr. Freeman,
240
00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:16,021
I'm sorry.
Please, come this way.
241
00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:17,021
GRANDDAD:
See, boys?
242
00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,021
And you thought we'd be
the only black people.
243
00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:07,021
WUNCLER:
Robert!
244
00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:12,021
Glad you made it, Robert.
This is my grandson, Ed III.
245
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,021
How are you?
246
00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:14,021
Whassup y'all, what's good?
247
00:11:16,021 --> 00:11:19,021
Uh...so I understand
you just got back from Iraq.
248
00:11:19,021 --> 00:11:20,021
For real?
249
00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,021
Yo, what's it like?
250
00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:23,021
What's it like?
251
00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,021
What I supposed
to say to that?
252
00:11:25,021 --> 00:11:28,021
It was cool, there was bitches?
253
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021
Okay, there was bitches,
but a lot of them had,
254
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:31,021
you know, they was covered up
255
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:33,021
in them curtains and stuff
they be wearin'.
256
00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:35,021
But I digress.
257
00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,021
It was war!
258
00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,021
It was war, basically.
259
00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,021
War, you know what that's like?
260
00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,021
Motherfuckers be,
like, shootin':
261
00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,021
Bombs blowin' up.
262
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,021
And, you know,
the shit scared me.
263
00:11:47,021 --> 00:11:48,021
It scared the shit out of me.
264
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:51,021
Matter of fact, I shit on myself
over a dozen times
265
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:54,021
and ran out of toilet paper
after the second time.
266
00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:58,021
So you know
what that meant, right?
267
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,021
I had to use the thumb, man.
It was kind of nasty.
268
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,021
But, you know,
the good thing about it
269
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,021
was they stopped taking me
out on patrol.
270
00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,021
'Cause my name
became "Stink Bomb."
271
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,021
You know what I'm sayin'?
272
00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,021
They said, you know,
I was giving away our position
273
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,021
because of the shit smell.
274
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,021
That was fine with me,
you know what I'm sayin'.
275
00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,021
They-- They wanted
to leave me back.
276
00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:16,021
And I was like:
"Well, fuck y'all.
277
00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,021
"Y'all go ahead on 'cause
I don't need y'all anyway.
278
00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:20,021
I'm rich, bitch."
279
00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,021
The fuck y'all looking at?
280
00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,021
Hey, li'l man.
281
00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:30,021
Like guns?
282
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,021
Yeah!
283
00:12:32,021 --> 00:12:34,021
C'mon.
284
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,021
Come on, let's get that drink.
285
00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021
MAN:
Well, you should definitely see
286
00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021
The Passion.
287
00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,021
It's a very important movie.
288
00:12:47,021 --> 00:12:49,021
Couldn't see it.
White Jesus.
289
00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,021
Excuse me?
290
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,021
Come on, man.
291
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,021
It's supposed to be
all historically accurate,
292
00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:56,021
and they still have
a white man
293
00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:58,021
playin' Jesus?
294
00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:00,021
That's some old bullshit.
295
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:03,021
Young man,
you speak so well.
296
00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,021
RUCKUS:
Well,
297
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,021
la-di-da-di-do.
298
00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,021
Look like we got us
the winner
299
00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:16,021
of the Lucky-Nigga-of-the-Year
award.
300
00:13:17,021 --> 00:13:18,021
Ah.
301
00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:22,021
They must think
the sun shine out your ass.
302
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:25,021
Mr. Wuncler's
been very nice, yes.
303
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,021
They must think you
Sidney fucking Poitier.
304
00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:29,021
Well,
305
00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,021
I been workin'
for Mr. Wuncler for 20 years.
306
00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,021
I ain't never got invited
to the party.
307
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:38,021
Shoot, he don't even let me
use the front door.
308
00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:39,021
But you wouldn't know
about that,
309
00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:43,021
now, would ya, Mr. Tibbs?
310
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,021
Oh, yeah.
311
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:47,021
They must think
your shit smell
312
00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:50,021
like spring daisies
and cinnamon.
313
00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,021
Check this out.
314
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:54,021
Wow.
315
00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:57,021
Are those real?
316
00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:59,021
Real?
317
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,021
Put it this way:
318
00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:04,021
if I pick one up
and put it to your face,
319
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:06,021
pull the trigger,
will you be dead?
320
00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,021
HUEY:
And all I'm saying is,
321
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021
Ronald Reagan was the devil.
322
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:20,021
You are such
an articulate young man.
323
00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,021
I'm tryin' to explain to you
324
00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,021
that Ronald Reagan was
the devil.
325
00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:26,021
Ronald Wilson Reagan.
326
00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:28,021
Each of his names
has six letters.
327
00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:30,021
Six-six-six.
328
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,021
Man, doesn't
that offend you?
329
00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:34,021
I love this kid.
330
00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:36,021
Stop that.
What are you doin'?
331
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,021
Stop clappin'.
332
00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:41,021
Having a good time, Robert?
333
00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,021
I-It's, uh...
334
00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:45,021
Come on,
have a drink with me.
335
00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:47,021
You look nervous.
336
00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:51,021
Do I make you nervous,
Free-man?
337
00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:53,021
Nervous? No.
338
00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:57,021
I was just, uh, keepin' an eye
out for the boys.
339
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,021
This is a lovely party.
340
00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:02,021
The only joy
I get from these parties
341
00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:04,021
is standing around,
telling mean-spirited jokes
342
00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:07,021
at other people's expense.
343
00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,021
I do that too.
344
00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,021
Check out that guy.
345
00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:14,021
Why is his face
all twisted up like that?
346
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:17,021
Looks like he jacks off
with Icy Hot.
347
00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:23,021
He looks like
he just shit a gerbil.
348
00:15:27,021 --> 00:15:28,021
A gerbil.
349
00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:32,021
Sorry, I'll be right back.
350
00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021
HUEY:
Tell me this,
351
00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:37,021
why was all the video recordin'
352
00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:40,021
of the Pentagon attack
seized by the FBI
353
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:41,021
and never seen again?
354
00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:43,021
He speaks so well.
355
00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:45,021
He's adorable.
356
00:15:45,021 --> 00:15:46,021
Are you even listenin'
357
00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:48,021
to what I'm sayin'?
358
00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:49,021
Nigga, if you ruin
this party for me,
359
00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:52,021
I'll put my--
Ruin the party? They love me.
360
00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021
These people aren't worried
about us.
361
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,021
They're not worried
about anything. They're rich.
362
00:15:57,021 --> 00:15:58,021
No matter what happens,
363
00:15:58,021 --> 00:16:00,021
these people will
just keep applaudin'.
364
00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:06,021
: Ahem. Attention please.
365
00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:11,021
My name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation.
366
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:15,021
I want to sing y'all a brand
new song I just wrote called:
367
00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:18,021
"Don't Trust Them New Niggas
Over There."
368
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:21,021
Sing along
if you know the words.
369
00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:30,021
Over there
370
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:34,021
In the air
371
00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:37,021
Nappy-head niggas
372
00:16:40,021 --> 00:16:44,021
Over there
373
00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:48,021
Are you sure that vest'll stop
this shotgun?
374
00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:52,021
Man, I'm like the Terminator
in this vest.
375
00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:56,021
RUCKUS:
376
00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,021
What? You don't believe me?
377
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,021
Go ahead!
378
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,021
Pull the trigger.
379
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,021
Now, are you sure that--?
380
00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:06,021
I said pull that trigger now!
381
00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,021
You wanna play rough?
382
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,021
Okay.
383
00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:14,021
Over yonder
384
00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:18,021
It'll make you wonder
385
00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:24,021
Nigga-figures
386
00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:37,021
I think the N-word is okay,
as long as they say it.
387
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,021
See?
388
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:44,021
Say hello to my little friend.
389
00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,021
Fuck y'all lookin' at?
390
00:18:17,021 --> 00:18:19,021
Hey, you think we in trouble?
391
00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:21,021
You shot his grandson
out the window.
392
00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:22,021
What you think?
393
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,021
I don't know.
394
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,021
I didn't want to move here,
395
00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:30,021
but I don't really want Granddad
to lose his house.
396
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,021
He worked his whole life
to get here.
397
00:18:32,021 --> 00:18:36,021
Man, I like that house.
398
00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:39,021
Oh, well,
I shot a nigga!
399
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,021
Mr. Wuncler,
400
00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:49,021
I'm...sorry about
the whole, you know,
401
00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:51,021
my grandson shooting
your grandson
402
00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,021
out of the window thing.
403
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,021
Are you mad?
404
00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:57,021
In 30 years,
405
00:18:57,021 --> 00:19:01,021
that boy will be the president
of the United States.
406
00:19:01,021 --> 00:19:04,021
And he'll still
be a fucking idiot.
407
00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,021
Whew.
408
00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,021
Now, are we gonna have
that drink or what?
409
00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:12,021
Glad you were able
to make it, Robert.
410
00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:14,021
To the old school.
411
00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:16,021
To the old school.
27965
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