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♪♪♪
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00:00:09,886 --> 00:00:11,586
[ Laughs ]
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00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:18,360
♪♪♪
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00:00:18,493 --> 00:00:19,929
[ Explosion ]
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00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:25,200
♪♪♪
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00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:27,302
[ Horn honks ]
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00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:34,309
[ Static crackles ]
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00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:41,230
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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00:00:43,218 --> 00:00:45,620
[ Train tracks rattling ]
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00:00:48,891 --> 00:00:58,333
♪♪♪
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00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:00,502
Welcome back to
the "Shat Attack."
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00:01:00,635 --> 00:01:02,304
I'm your host, Billy Shatz.
13
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,740
Before we get to our mailbag,
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00:01:03,873 --> 00:01:06,341
I want to take a moment
to thank our sponsor.
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00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:08,711
♪ Kwajalein Beer ♪
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00:01:08,845 --> 00:01:10,312
♪ Drink it, motherfucker ♪
17
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,380
Grab yourself a six-pack
and let's talk about
18
00:01:12,514 --> 00:01:15,584
indie horror sensation
"Dead by Midnight."
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00:01:15,718 --> 00:01:18,054
It tells the tale
of a television station
20
00:01:18,187 --> 00:01:21,124
overtaken by the pits of Hell
in search of fresh souls.
21
00:01:21,256 --> 00:01:23,993
It doesn't take long
before the bat's out of the bag
22
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,361
When the viewers themselves
are sucked
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00:01:26,495 --> 00:01:27,864
into a series of horror stories.
24
00:01:27,997 --> 00:01:29,732
Audiences and critics alike
are calling it...
25
00:01:29,866 --> 00:01:31,167
calling it...
[Slowed] calling it...
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00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:32,735
...an abomination,
27
00:01:32,869 --> 00:01:34,436
A slight against God
for which you're responsible.
28
00:01:34,569 --> 00:01:35,772
We'll be dead by...
29
00:01:35,905 --> 00:01:37,572
Midnight marauders
to humanoids
30
00:01:37,707 --> 00:01:39,341
dwelling underground
can all agree.
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00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,543
There gonna be a lot of s'mores
32
00:01:41,677 --> 00:01:45,547
and whole lot of [Snores].
33
00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:47,549
- Suck!
- My scrotum. Ew.
34
00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:49,719
- Vaginal wipes.
- Suck it clean!
35
00:01:49,852 --> 00:01:51,954
The Power Bottom
can even pick up...
36
00:01:52,088 --> 00:01:54,824
Reporter: A rotting mess is
what it is, let's not forget.
37
00:01:54,957 --> 00:01:57,425
The Mistress of Midnight... she
was bangin' back in the day,
38
00:01:57,559 --> 00:01:58,828
but what she's up to now,
39
00:01:58,961 --> 00:02:00,963
she's gone in
and thrown in the towel.
40
00:02:01,097 --> 00:02:06,368
♪♪♪
41
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,906
[Maniacal laughter]
42
00:02:10,039 --> 00:02:18,014
♪♪♪
43
00:02:18,147 --> 00:02:26,122
♪♪♪
44
00:02:26,255 --> 00:02:28,557
Atonement... what a drag.
45
00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:31,359
What's the difference
between kneeling and whispering,
46
00:02:31,493 --> 00:02:33,595
"Forgive me, father,
I have sinned"
47
00:02:33,729 --> 00:02:35,198
And sliding to your knees
and saying,
48
00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:37,099
"Sorry, daddy,
I've been naughty"?
49
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:39,534
The difference is how much fun
you are having,
50
00:02:39,668 --> 00:02:41,270
and I do it religiously.
51
00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:44,307
Our first little slice of Hell
comes from a churchgoing,
52
00:02:44,439 --> 00:02:46,008
God-fearing little old lady.
53
00:02:46,142 --> 00:02:48,077
But that might be a matter
of perspective, too,
54
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,578
now, might'n it?
55
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,948
Prepare to be graced
with amazing performances
56
00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:54,817
by Edey Willis
and Sethery Michaelson
57
00:02:54,951 --> 00:02:58,955
in our first sacrilegious
sequence, "Hellevangelist."
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00:02:59,088 --> 00:03:01,791
You can pause,
but you can't hide.
59
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:05,161
♪♪♪
60
00:03:05,294 --> 00:03:06,896
[ Applause on TV ]
61
00:03:07,029 --> 00:03:11,566
Sethery: When you look at me,
my brothers and sisters,
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00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:15,171
do not look at me as a man
preaching the good word
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00:03:15,304 --> 00:03:17,073
No, no.
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00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:20,009
Look at me as an appendage
to the Lord,
65
00:03:20,142 --> 00:03:26,716
as a bloody holy arm
reaching out to you for help
66
00:03:26,849 --> 00:03:33,089
because even the Lord
needs your help.
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00:03:33,222 --> 00:03:35,725
He needs you to reach out
and grab his arm.
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00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:38,627
[ Cat meows ]
This arm.
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00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:41,831
And by helping him...
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00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:47,602
you're helping yourselves...
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00:03:47,737 --> 00:03:48,905
[ Applause ]
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00:03:49,038 --> 00:03:51,439
...and all those around you.
73
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,747
But I am more than just an arm.
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00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,217
I am a vital organ.
75
00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:04,787
I am the pancreas to the Lord!
76
00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:06,389
Pumping vital love.
77
00:04:06,521 --> 00:04:10,159
Yes.
The pancreas of the Lord.
78
00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:14,931
Bring forward the first
to be healed.
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00:04:15,064 --> 00:04:22,939
♪♪♪
80
00:04:23,072 --> 00:04:25,640
Oh, look, Samuel.
81
00:04:25,775 --> 00:04:27,310
Darling, we're on the TV.
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00:04:27,442 --> 00:04:28,543
[ Samuel grumbles ]
83
00:04:28,678 --> 00:04:29,845
Do you believe,
84
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:32,281
brother Samuel
and sister Edey?
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00:04:32,415 --> 00:04:34,116
Both: We believe!
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00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:39,789
Then grandfather, husband,
brother Samuel,
87
00:04:39,922 --> 00:04:42,291
rejoice in the power
of the bloody hand
88
00:04:42,425 --> 00:04:43,793
and the holy necktie!
89
00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:46,594
Be healed and you
should be healed!
90
00:04:46,729 --> 00:04:49,231
Amen, Reverend.
91
00:04:49,365 --> 00:04:53,135
Yes, I understand now.
92
00:04:53,269 --> 00:04:54,937
Yes.
93
00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:59,809
Grandson: Okay, Grandpa,
you are all set.
94
00:04:59,942 --> 00:05:01,811
I'll check back
later tonight, okay?
95
00:05:01,944 --> 00:05:04,479
- Amen! I'm healed!
- Amen!
96
00:05:04,612 --> 00:05:06,548
Amen!
97
00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:19,996
Reporter: Americano
Sethery Michaelson...
98
00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,831
He should be good
for a while.
99
00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,133
Uh, there's plenty of morphine
in the cabinets
100
00:05:24,266 --> 00:05:25,600
if there's any issues.
101
00:05:25,735 --> 00:05:28,904
[ Reporter speaking Spanish ]
102
00:05:34,143 --> 00:05:36,812
Alright, Grandma,
I'm off to work.
103
00:05:38,114 --> 00:05:40,216
Don't send that crook
any more of your money.
104
00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:42,051
Of course, dear.
105
00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:44,353
You have a lovely day.
106
00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:45,721
Anissa will be by in a bit.
107
00:05:45,855 --> 00:05:47,823
And then I'll be back
later tonight, okay?
108
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:50,592
Love you, Grandma.
109
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,594
Love you, too, dear.
110
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,097
[ Birds chirping on TV ]
111
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,935
[ Door closes ]
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00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:12,481
[ Eerie music plays ]
113
00:06:12,614 --> 00:06:20,956
♪♪♪
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00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:29,231
♪♪♪
115
00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:31,100
[ Dart whooshes ]
116
00:06:48,484 --> 00:06:50,319
♪ 'Cause the blood
is dripping down ♪
117
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,954
♪ Put your hands up ♪
118
00:06:52,088 --> 00:06:53,923
♪ 'Cause the blood
is dripping down ♪
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00:06:54,056 --> 00:06:57,326
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪
120
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,662
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood is dripping down ♪
121
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:04,700
♪ Let go if you're afraid ♪
122
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:07,536
[ Eerie music plays ]
123
00:07:07,669 --> 00:07:12,141
♪♪♪
124
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:30,625
♪♪♪
125
00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:35,865
♪ I'm gonna take your lips ♪
126
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:40,269
♪ Put 'em in a box ♪
127
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:47,076
♪ Take 'em up with me
to Heaven ♪
128
00:07:49,145 --> 00:07:54,783
♪ It would hardly be much
of a Heaven ♪
129
00:07:54,917 --> 00:07:58,721
♪ Without you ♪
130
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:03,592
♪♪♪
131
00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:07,863
♪ I'm gonna take your arms ♪
132
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:13,668
♪ Put 'em in a box ♪
133
00:08:13,802 --> 00:08:19,175
♪ Take 'em up with me
to Heaven ♪
134
00:08:19,308 --> 00:08:26,849
♪ Because it would hardly be
much of a Heaven ♪
135
00:08:26,982 --> 00:08:30,819
♪ Without you ♪
136
00:08:30,953 --> 00:08:36,425
♪♪♪
137
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,427
[ Squeak ]
Right.
138
00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,433
Sethery:
...you know what I'm saying?
139
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,235
[ Laughs ]
140
00:08:46,368 --> 00:08:47,703
Okay, bye.
141
00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:49,305
[ Thud ]
Ow!
142
00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:53,375
What the hell?
143
00:08:56,779 --> 00:08:58,747
S-S-Stop.
144
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,418
Ow!
145
00:09:05,487 --> 00:09:07,957
Ow.
146
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:11,393
♪ 'Cause the Lord
is on the line ♪
147
00:09:11,527 --> 00:09:13,162
♪ And he will answer ♪
148
00:09:25,874 --> 00:09:28,377
[ Eerie music plays ]
149
00:09:28,510 --> 00:09:37,820
♪♪♪
150
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:47,463
♪♪♪
151
00:09:47,596 --> 00:09:56,905
♪♪♪
152
00:09:57,039 --> 00:09:58,540
♪ Oww! ♪
153
00:09:58,674 --> 00:10:00,876
♪ Alright! ♪
154
00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:04,179
♪ If you're tired
and all alone ♪
155
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:05,481
Ah.
156
00:10:05,614 --> 00:10:08,718
Now, you're not going
to feel a thing there, dear.
157
00:10:08,851 --> 00:10:10,619
[ Scissors scraping ]
158
00:10:10,754 --> 00:10:14,623
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
159
00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:18,961
♪ Over the hill and everywhere ♪
160
00:10:19,094 --> 00:10:23,666
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
161
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:27,436
♪ Over and everywhere ♪
162
00:10:30,072 --> 00:10:33,342
[ Humming ]
163
00:10:38,947 --> 00:10:40,049
[ Blood spurts ]
164
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:43,252
♪ Oww! ♪
165
00:10:43,385 --> 00:10:45,755
[ Sethery screaming ]
Now, don't move.
166
00:10:45,888 --> 00:10:47,956
You're going to muck it up.
167
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,426
[ Screaming continues ]
168
00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:57,666
[ Groans softly ]
169
00:10:57,801 --> 00:11:04,940
♪♪♪
170
00:11:05,074 --> 00:11:07,409
[ Receptionist singing ]
171
00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:18,688
♪♪♪
172
00:11:18,822 --> 00:11:20,790
Ah!
173
00:11:20,923 --> 00:11:24,126
Oh, this is just beautiful,
174
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:27,496
what you're doing
for my Samuel.
175
00:11:27,629 --> 00:11:29,766
Just beautiful.
176
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:38,974
♪♪♪
177
00:11:39,108 --> 00:11:40,744
[ Lid snaps shut ]
178
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:51,587
♪♪♪
179
00:11:51,721 --> 00:11:56,058
♪♪♪
180
00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:57,861
[ Clatter ]
181
00:11:57,993 --> 00:12:10,172
♪♪♪
182
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:14,343
Shall we say a prayer
together before I go?
183
00:12:17,079 --> 00:12:18,414
Oh, my.
184
00:12:18,547 --> 00:12:28,490
♪♪♪
185
00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:38,567
♪♪♪
186
00:12:38,701 --> 00:12:48,644
♪♪♪
187
00:12:48,778 --> 00:12:58,721
♪♪♪
188
00:12:58,855 --> 00:12:59,988
[ Beep ]
189
00:13:00,122 --> 00:13:02,257
I understand now
190
00:13:02,391 --> 00:13:06,763
how Reverend Sethery is
going to help us.
191
00:13:06,896 --> 00:13:09,531
He's going to help us all.
192
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:15,971
♪♪♪
193
00:13:16,104 --> 00:13:22,611
♪♪♪
194
00:13:22,745 --> 00:13:24,747
[ Grunts ]
195
00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:27,483
[ Gagging ]
196
00:13:30,252 --> 00:13:31,888
[ Laughing ]
197
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,958
[ Overlapping laughter
and screaming ]
198
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,794
[ Bell chimes ]
199
00:13:37,927 --> 00:13:39,863
Reporter: Millions gathered
today at televangelist
200
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:42,932
Sethery Michaelson's
Hand and Necktie mega church.
201
00:13:43,065 --> 00:13:44,500
The world-renowned
televangelist
202
00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:47,135
was recently admitted
to St. Jude's Hospital.
203
00:13:47,269 --> 00:13:48,771
The nation was shocked
by reports
204
00:13:48,905 --> 00:13:51,340
that Michaelson
was attacked earlier today.
205
00:13:51,473 --> 00:13:53,308
His status is as yet unknown.
206
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,244
What a nice young man.
207
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:59,047
You know, I think
I'll give him some money.
208
00:13:59,181 --> 00:14:00,683
No!
No!
209
00:14:03,185 --> 00:14:05,889
[ Edey chuckles ]
210
00:14:06,021 --> 00:14:09,024
Usually, I hate a story
with religious undertones.
211
00:14:09,157 --> 00:14:11,293
But I thought seeing the
separation of church and hate
212
00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:12,996
made for quite a ride tonight.
213
00:14:13,128 --> 00:14:15,597
Right, my bright
little acolytes?
214
00:14:15,732 --> 00:14:17,666
But that's enough
for one Sabbath.
215
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,335
Make sure to stay tuned in
for more slight frights
216
00:14:20,469 --> 00:14:22,471
from "Dead by Midnight."
217
00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:26,475
"My kingdom come,
my will be done."
218
00:14:26,608 --> 00:14:30,013
[ Screaming ]
219
00:14:30,145 --> 00:14:32,614
Man: Cut!
220
00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:33,850
[ Exhales ]
221
00:14:33,983 --> 00:14:35,384
Hi. I'm Kane Hodder.
222
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:39,254
[ Soft piano music plays ]
223
00:14:39,388 --> 00:14:42,057
I'm known as the deadliest man
in Hollywood.
224
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:44,694
Another true story
with Murderol.
225
00:14:44,827 --> 00:14:47,964
Unfortunately, my desire
for brutal violence
226
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,867
doesn't always stay
on the set.
227
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,635
So when I tell you I've finally
found the medication
228
00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:56,973
to curb my
murderous impulses,
229
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,408
you can believe me.
230
00:14:59,541 --> 00:15:02,144
And if you don't, I'll kill you
and your family.
231
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:09,585
♪♪♪
232
00:15:09,719 --> 00:15:16,826
♪♪♪
233
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,695
[ Screams ]
234
00:15:20,863 --> 00:15:22,031
Oh, Kane!
235
00:15:22,164 --> 00:15:24,466
Another victim spared.
236
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,805
In fact, I don't even think
about killing anymore.
237
00:15:28,938 --> 00:15:33,442
Murderol has given me
a new chance at happiness.
238
00:15:33,575 --> 00:15:35,644
Just look at how happy I am.
239
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:39,749
That's right.
240
00:15:39,882 --> 00:15:43,019
Stop killing people,
start killing time
241
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,586
with Murderol.
242
00:15:44,721 --> 00:15:46,789
Mistress: This is the hottest
show in Hell right now
243
00:15:46,923 --> 00:15:48,925
and we're running
commercials for pills
244
00:15:49,058 --> 00:15:51,060
to stop killing people?
245
00:15:51,193 --> 00:15:52,795
What the hell?
246
00:15:52,929 --> 00:15:57,800
Parents, no one is putting drugs
in your kids' Halloween candy.
247
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,501
It just isn't happening.
248
00:15:59,635 --> 00:16:02,638
Thousands of parents suffer
from the delusions every year
249
00:16:02,772 --> 00:16:06,709
that people are putting cannabis
or LSD or Molly
250
00:16:06,843 --> 00:16:08,878
into their kids'
Halloween treats,
251
00:16:09,012 --> 00:16:12,849
introducing your children to
a host of dangerous substances
252
00:16:12,982 --> 00:16:15,818
and the opportunity to trip
their tiny little balls
253
00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:18,220
right off.
254
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,856
[ Sighs ]
255
00:16:19,989 --> 00:16:22,759
Helicopter-parent study
number 420 commencing.
256
00:16:22,892 --> 00:16:24,761
Alright, boys, here we go.
Keep your eyes on Mom.
257
00:16:24,894 --> 00:16:26,662
The trigger
has been delivered.
258
00:16:26,796 --> 00:16:28,263
Put on your
protective goggles.
259
00:16:28,397 --> 00:16:29,832
Tell my wife I love her.
260
00:16:29,966 --> 00:16:31,566
Oh, the poor child doesn't
even see it coming.
261
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,535
Abort! Abort!
Nope, we're in it.
262
00:16:33,669 --> 00:16:35,303
The redhead is
going nuke-ular.
263
00:16:35,437 --> 00:16:37,239
[ Alarm blaring ]
264
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:40,175
Oh, dear God,
she's gone slo-mo.
265
00:16:40,308 --> 00:16:41,610
I told you
this would happen.
266
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:44,013
My grandfather
built that table.
267
00:16:44,147 --> 00:16:47,616
So, parents, this Halloween,
268
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:50,652
save your social-media outrage,
269
00:16:50,787 --> 00:16:52,320
calm your tits,
270
00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:55,158
and remember,
271
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:58,961
no one is trying to put drugs
in your kids' Halloween treats
272
00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:01,630
as a mean Halloween trick.
273
00:17:01,764 --> 00:17:04,167
No one's trying
to drug your kids.
274
00:17:04,299 --> 00:17:06,135
'Cause drugs are expensive.
275
00:17:06,268 --> 00:17:11,473
♪♪♪
276
00:17:11,606 --> 00:17:14,209
And we don't wanna share
with your shithead kids.
277
00:17:14,342 --> 00:17:21,017
♪♪♪
278
00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,452
[ Coughing ]
279
00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:27,123
Fuck.
280
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:34,229
♪♪♪
281
00:17:34,362 --> 00:17:36,665
[English accent]
Oh, children these days.
282
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:39,301
They're so spoiled
with their little devices,
283
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,003
aren't they?
284
00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:44,040
No matter where you go, there
are screens all around you.
285
00:17:44,173 --> 00:17:45,975
There's no escaping it.
286
00:17:46,109 --> 00:17:47,642
Really.
287
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:50,847
At times like this, I believe
it's important to remember
288
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:53,448
the monsters
we make ourselves.
289
00:17:53,582 --> 00:17:57,285
So our next tale is about
a creative cool cat
290
00:17:57,419 --> 00:17:59,188
whose whole life is
about to wind up
291
00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:01,057
on the cutting-room floor.
292
00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:03,092
We'll be seeing Julia Walters
293
00:18:03,226 --> 00:18:08,064
and a fresh-faced feline
in our next eerie edition...
294
00:18:08,197 --> 00:18:09,699
"Jasper."
295
00:18:09,832 --> 00:18:12,735
You can pause,
but you cannot hide.
296
00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:17,173
[ Roar ]
297
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,842
[ Dramatic music plays ]
298
00:18:19,976 --> 00:18:25,014
♪♪♪
299
00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:26,849
[ Snarling ]
300
00:18:26,983 --> 00:18:34,056
♪♪♪
301
00:18:38,728 --> 00:18:41,496
Time to set the world on fire.
302
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:44,000
You're probably wondering
how we got here.
303
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:45,835
Let's rewind a bit.
304
00:18:47,970 --> 00:18:51,007
[ Birds chirping ]
305
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:53,843
[ Bell chiming ]
306
00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:56,045
[ Thunder rumbles ]
307
00:18:56,179 --> 00:19:02,218
♪♪♪
308
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,953
[ Sniffles ]
309
00:19:04,086 --> 00:19:09,125
♪♪♪
310
00:19:09,258 --> 00:19:11,727
My name is Julia Walters.
311
00:19:11,861 --> 00:19:14,596
Jack Walters was my father.
312
00:19:14,730 --> 00:19:16,498
Most people would say that
313
00:19:16,631 --> 00:19:20,002
Jasper the Cat
was his greatest achievement.
314
00:19:20,136 --> 00:19:25,975
But I know that what he was
most proud of was his family.
315
00:19:26,108 --> 00:19:27,542
He always used to tell me,
316
00:19:27,677 --> 00:19:31,280
"Julia, one day, you're gonna
set the world on fire."
317
00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:34,083
[ Thunder rumbles ]
318
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,620
He was my best friend.
319
00:19:38,754 --> 00:19:40,823
It's no secret that he drank
320
00:19:40,957 --> 00:19:44,492
and that he blamed himself
for what happened to my mother.
321
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:47,596
So his suicide, while tragic...
322
00:19:49,966 --> 00:19:52,400
was not altogether
unanticipated.
323
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:59,374
♪♪♪
324
00:19:59,507 --> 00:20:03,045
I am proud to follow
in my father's footsteps
325
00:20:03,179 --> 00:20:06,983
and to keep Jasper alive
for the next generation.
326
00:20:07,116 --> 00:20:09,852
So thank you all
for coming here today.
327
00:20:09,986 --> 00:20:14,589
♪♪♪
328
00:20:14,724 --> 00:20:18,261
Especially to my wife, Ally,
329
00:20:18,393 --> 00:20:23,266
for supporting me on one
of the worst days of my life.
330
00:20:23,398 --> 00:20:27,203
[ Cellphone rings ]
331
00:20:27,336 --> 00:20:28,871
I'm sorry. I...
332
00:20:29,005 --> 00:20:35,378
♪♪♪
333
00:20:35,510 --> 00:20:37,914
Shit.
334
00:20:38,047 --> 00:20:39,882
I'm not here.
335
00:20:43,286 --> 00:20:44,954
I'm here.
336
00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:50,960
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
337
00:20:57,233 --> 00:20:58,968
Ally: Let me in.
338
00:21:01,503 --> 00:21:04,240
[ Knock on door ]
339
00:21:04,373 --> 00:21:07,509
Sorry, ma'am, I can't let you in
without a proper ID.
340
00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:09,511
She's with me, Mike.
341
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,646
Oh. Sorry, Ms. Julia.
342
00:21:11,781 --> 00:21:14,083
Can never be too sure.
343
00:21:14,216 --> 00:21:15,885
Late hours and all.
344
00:21:18,854 --> 00:21:20,622
Are you new here?
345
00:21:20,756 --> 00:21:22,425
As a matter of fact, I am.
346
00:21:22,557 --> 00:21:25,261
Name's Mike.
Nice to meet you.
347
00:21:25,394 --> 00:21:27,096
Your office... now.
348
00:21:35,004 --> 00:21:36,638
I should've known
that you'd be here.
349
00:21:36,772 --> 00:21:37,940
Now, where else
would you be?
350
00:21:38,074 --> 00:21:40,142
Certainly not at home
with your wife.
351
00:21:40,276 --> 00:21:43,012
And not at the cemetery
for your own father's funeral.
352
00:21:43,145 --> 00:21:45,348
I had a deadline.
Dad would understand.
353
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,682
You're just like him.
354
00:21:46,816 --> 00:21:48,284
Down to the empty bottle.
355
00:21:48,417 --> 00:21:50,987
Thank you for noticing
our heartwarming similarities.
356
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,688
I'm just surprised that
your damned cartoon
357
00:21:52,822 --> 00:21:54,123
can even stand up straight.
358
00:21:54,256 --> 00:21:56,759
That's the beauty of
digitizing the series, dear.
359
00:21:56,892 --> 00:21:59,895
Don't need steady hands
to click a mouse.
360
00:22:00,029 --> 00:22:01,197
Cute.
361
00:22:01,330 --> 00:22:04,300
You know, I've forgiven you
for a lot lately,
362
00:22:04,433 --> 00:22:05,633
since your mom.
363
00:22:05,768 --> 00:22:07,069
And I'm really sorry,
364
00:22:07,203 --> 00:22:09,238
'cause I thought I knew
what I was signing up for,
365
00:22:09,372 --> 00:22:11,907
but this is not what
I expected my life to be.
366
00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:14,110
Okay, well, this season's
almost done.
367
00:22:14,243 --> 00:22:16,644
We'll go on a vacation soon,
alright?
368
00:22:16,779 --> 00:22:19,581
God, you're not
listening to me.
369
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,384
You're not you.
370
00:22:21,516 --> 00:22:23,386
We are not us.
371
00:22:23,518 --> 00:22:24,720
You're depressed
all the time.
372
00:22:24,854 --> 00:22:26,889
You barely see daylight.
373
00:22:27,023 --> 00:22:28,958
Even Jasper is
getting darker.
374
00:22:29,091 --> 00:22:31,626
He spent the entire
last episode at a bar.
375
00:22:31,761 --> 00:22:35,530
Well, you can't divorce
the art from the artist.
376
00:22:35,663 --> 00:22:38,401
Maybe not.
377
00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:40,936
But you can divorce
the artist.
378
00:22:44,273 --> 00:22:47,276
My dad just died.
379
00:22:47,410 --> 00:22:49,412
I hired a lawyer.
380
00:22:49,544 --> 00:22:52,181
What do you want?
381
00:22:52,314 --> 00:22:53,648
Do you want a kid?
382
00:22:53,783 --> 00:22:55,885
Let's have a kid.
Will that make you happy?
383
00:22:56,018 --> 00:22:57,319
Yes.
384
00:22:57,453 --> 00:23:00,555
It would if I didn't think
I'd be raising it alone.
385
00:23:03,092 --> 00:23:05,294
What do you think
I'm doing here, Ally?
386
00:23:05,428 --> 00:23:07,997
Why do you think
I'm here night after night?
387
00:23:08,130 --> 00:23:10,533
I'm busting my ass to provide
for the family
388
00:23:10,665 --> 00:23:12,368
that I know
that you want, okay?
389
00:23:12,501 --> 00:23:14,003
Kids are expensive, Ally.
390
00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:16,138
It's not like we can just
make one the old-fashioned way.
391
00:23:16,272 --> 00:23:18,573
It doesn't...
I don't want kids with you.
392
00:23:18,707 --> 00:23:21,177
You're never home.
You're always drunk.
393
00:23:21,310 --> 00:23:23,779
You're turning into an asshole
just like your dad.
394
00:23:23,913 --> 00:23:26,449
It is no wonder that your mom
killed herself, too.
395
00:23:26,581 --> 00:23:37,226
♪♪♪
396
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:38,494
Ally!
397
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,463
[ Jasper chuckles ]
398
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,565
Whew! That's better.
399
00:23:42,698 --> 00:23:44,800
Hiya, Julia.
I'm here for you.
400
00:23:44,934 --> 00:23:48,938
You're my best friend,
and she was being mean to you.
401
00:23:49,071 --> 00:23:50,806
Okay.
402
00:23:50,940 --> 00:23:52,708
Okay, this isn't happening.
403
00:23:52,842 --> 00:23:54,110
This isn't real.
404
00:23:54,243 --> 00:23:55,811
Aw, little buddy.
405
00:23:55,945 --> 00:23:57,546
Maybe this'll help.
406
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,315
[ Twirling ]
407
00:23:59,448 --> 00:24:00,683
[ Glass shatters ]
408
00:24:00,816 --> 00:24:02,585
Stop it!
409
00:24:02,718 --> 00:24:04,619
No, stop!
410
00:24:07,356 --> 00:24:09,657
[ Sizzle ] Okay,
I believe you're real!
411
00:24:09,792 --> 00:24:12,795
Good! Now I've got
a job to do.
412
00:24:15,131 --> 00:24:16,065
What?
413
00:24:16,198 --> 00:24:18,000
I'm gonna kill
your wife, silly.
414
00:24:18,134 --> 00:24:21,837
Just like I killed your
mommy and your daddy
415
00:24:21,971 --> 00:24:25,007
and anyone else who tries
to keep us apart.
416
00:24:25,141 --> 00:24:27,576
You're my best friend.
[ Chuckles ]
417
00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:29,545
This'll be a lot of fun.
418
00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:32,647
Just don't try
and stop me!
419
00:24:32,781 --> 00:24:34,116
No!
420
00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:36,552
Say bye, Julia.
421
00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:38,687
No! Ally!
422
00:24:41,357 --> 00:24:42,958
Fuck.
423
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,830
♪♪♪
424
00:24:47,963 --> 00:24:50,266
[ Heavy rock music plays ]
425
00:24:50,399 --> 00:24:57,239
♪♪♪
426
00:24:57,373 --> 00:24:59,542
[ Thunder rumbles ]
427
00:24:59,674 --> 00:25:01,577
Mike! Mike!
428
00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:02,811
Call the police.
429
00:25:02,945 --> 00:25:04,346
Mike: Ms. Julia,
w-what is it?
430
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,215
What's the emergency?
What's going on?
431
00:25:06,348 --> 00:25:08,184
Shh!
What?
432
00:25:09,652 --> 00:25:11,487
[ Crack ]
433
00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:12,788
Aah!
434
00:25:12,922 --> 00:25:14,023
What the fuck?!
435
00:25:14,156 --> 00:25:17,660
I told you not to try
and stop me.
436
00:25:17,793 --> 00:25:20,629
Now look what you
made me do.
437
00:25:20,796 --> 00:25:22,464
- Where's my wife?
- Who?
438
00:25:22,598 --> 00:25:24,099
You know who,
you giant prick.
439
00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,634
Unh, unh, unh!
440
00:25:25,768 --> 00:25:27,203
Language, missy.
441
00:25:27,336 --> 00:25:30,306
This program is
rated TV-PG.
442
00:25:30,439 --> 00:25:31,607
Not anymore, asshole.
443
00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,176
[ Chuckles ]
[ Train whistle blows ]
444
00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:36,178
You won't get to her
in time.
445
00:25:36,312 --> 00:25:40,549
The train has left the station,
and it's never late.
446
00:25:40,684 --> 00:25:42,918
[ Stomping ]
447
00:25:45,454 --> 00:25:47,356
[ Meows ]
448
00:25:49,491 --> 00:25:51,193
[ Julia grunts ]
449
00:26:02,605 --> 00:26:04,873
[ Panting ]
450
00:26:05,007 --> 00:26:07,509
[ Train bell dinging,
horn honking ]
451
00:26:07,643 --> 00:26:09,778
This is so cliché.
452
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,317
[ Horn blaring ]
453
00:26:15,451 --> 00:26:18,254
[ Screams ]
454
00:26:18,387 --> 00:26:20,489
Help!
455
00:26:20,623 --> 00:26:21,725
[ Whoosh ]
456
00:26:21,857 --> 00:26:23,292
- Ally!
- Took you long enough.
457
00:26:23,425 --> 00:26:24,827
Got here as fast
as I could.
458
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,128
You could come
a little bit faster.
459
00:26:26,262 --> 00:26:27,830
You're right, dear,
of course.
460
00:26:27,963 --> 00:26:30,432
[ Horn blaring ]
461
00:26:33,068 --> 00:26:34,436
Are you almost done?
Almost!
462
00:26:34,570 --> 00:26:37,106
Okay.
[ Sobs ]
463
00:26:37,239 --> 00:26:39,174
Okay, let's go!
Okay.
464
00:26:47,383 --> 00:26:49,051
Julia:
Okay, all caught up?
465
00:26:49,184 --> 00:26:51,053
Let's take it back to the top.
466
00:26:57,226 --> 00:26:58,394
What are you doing?
467
00:26:58,527 --> 00:27:00,429
Jasper murdered
my parents, Ally.
468
00:27:00,562 --> 00:27:02,197
Nobody committed suicide.
He killed them.
469
00:27:02,331 --> 00:27:03,899
And he's probably
gonna kill you
470
00:27:04,033 --> 00:27:07,803
and then me, too, if we don't
take him out first.
471
00:27:07,936 --> 00:27:09,805
Do you still want
to get divorced?
472
00:27:09,938 --> 00:27:11,307
Will you quit your job?
473
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,609
Probably getting fired
after I blow up the station.
474
00:27:13,743 --> 00:27:16,011
I love you.
Let's have kids.
475
00:27:19,915 --> 00:27:21,483
Ready?
476
00:27:26,388 --> 00:27:28,223
Hell yeah.
477
00:27:48,778 --> 00:27:49,978
[ Cat meows ]
478
00:27:50,112 --> 00:27:53,382
[ Upbeat cartoon music plays ]
479
00:27:53,515 --> 00:27:55,584
[ Purring ]
480
00:27:55,719 --> 00:27:57,186
Aww!
481
00:27:58,887 --> 00:28:01,423
Hey, little guy.
482
00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:03,625
Pwease don't kill me.
483
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,128
You're my best fwiend.
484
00:28:08,197 --> 00:28:10,734
Thing is, you murdered
my family.
485
00:28:10,866 --> 00:28:12,702
[ Music stops ]
486
00:28:12,836 --> 00:28:13,969
Hmm.
487
00:28:14,103 --> 00:28:16,305
[ Dramatic music plays ]
488
00:28:16,438 --> 00:28:19,709
♪♪♪
489
00:28:19,843 --> 00:28:21,678
[ Groaning ]
490
00:28:21,811 --> 00:28:29,518
♪♪♪
491
00:28:29,651 --> 00:28:32,321
[ Roars ]
492
00:28:32,454 --> 00:28:37,559
♪♪♪
493
00:28:37,694 --> 00:28:39,495
[ Growls ]
494
00:28:39,628 --> 00:28:41,930
[ Grunts ]
Meowww!
495
00:28:47,236 --> 00:28:48,872
[ Lighter clicks ]
496
00:28:49,004 --> 00:28:52,241
♪♪♪
497
00:28:52,374 --> 00:28:54,042
[ Roars ]
[ Grunts ]
498
00:28:54,176 --> 00:29:00,884
♪♪♪
499
00:29:01,016 --> 00:29:02,786
Go, go, go!
500
00:29:02,918 --> 00:29:04,788
♪♪♪
501
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,522
Uh-oh!
502
00:29:06,655 --> 00:29:09,525
[ Explosion ]
503
00:29:17,767 --> 00:29:19,702
That was insane.
Yeah.
504
00:29:21,336 --> 00:29:23,272
Your dad would be proud.
505
00:29:27,142 --> 00:29:29,578
Yeah.
Do you really wanna have kids?
506
00:29:29,712 --> 00:29:32,314
I think we can handle it.
507
00:29:32,448 --> 00:29:34,983
I think we can
handle anything.
508
00:29:36,518 --> 00:29:37,921
Me, too.
509
00:29:38,053 --> 00:29:39,421
Should we adopt?
510
00:29:39,555 --> 00:29:42,257
Or try it the
old-fashioned way?
511
00:29:42,391 --> 00:29:44,159
Can't hurt to practice.
512
00:29:44,293 --> 00:29:47,296
[ Both laugh ]
513
00:29:48,731 --> 00:29:51,099
[ Distant whistling ]
514
00:29:53,202 --> 00:29:54,904
Oh, fuck.
515
00:29:55,037 --> 00:29:57,606
[ Thud! ]
[ Jasper chuckles ]
516
00:29:57,740 --> 00:30:02,077
♪♪♪
517
00:30:05,647 --> 00:30:07,349
♪♪♪
518
00:30:07,483 --> 00:30:09,184
Hello, I'm Jerri Dandridge,
519
00:30:09,318 --> 00:30:11,220
and I'm running
to be your mayor.
520
00:30:11,353 --> 00:30:14,056
When I came
to this country in 1687,
521
00:30:14,189 --> 00:30:16,726
I had a vision
of what America could be...
522
00:30:16,860 --> 00:30:19,127
a land of opportunity, freedom,
523
00:30:19,261 --> 00:30:20,897
and feasting
in the eternal darkness.
524
00:30:21,063 --> 00:30:24,032
I support the second amendment
because guns don't kill people.
525
00:30:24,166 --> 00:30:25,802
Hells yeah!
526
00:30:25,935 --> 00:30:27,770
I do.
Wait, what?
527
00:30:29,404 --> 00:30:32,007
See you at the
straight pride rally!
528
00:30:35,177 --> 00:30:36,612
Unlike my fellow
Republicans,
529
00:30:36,746 --> 00:30:39,749
I support the full
legalization of marijuana.
530
00:30:39,883 --> 00:30:41,116
Sweet.
531
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:44,119
Makes 'em easier to catch.
532
00:30:44,253 --> 00:30:46,154
And I'm staunchly
pro-life.
533
00:30:46,288 --> 00:30:49,324
As Whitney Houston and the
textile industry once said,
534
00:30:49,458 --> 00:30:52,261
"The children
are our future."
535
00:30:54,697 --> 00:30:56,431
[ Sniffs ]
536
00:30:56,565 --> 00:30:58,100
Mmm!
537
00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,836
Almost fresh out the oven.
538
00:30:59,969 --> 00:31:06,642
♪♪♪
539
00:31:06,776 --> 00:31:10,279
My name is Jerri Dandridge,
and I approve this message.
540
00:31:16,218 --> 00:31:18,220
[ Birds chirping ]
541
00:31:18,353 --> 00:31:20,622
Announcer: Sometimes...
542
00:31:20,757 --> 00:31:24,092
household cleaners
just won't cut it.
543
00:31:24,226 --> 00:31:26,930
A tough job calls
for a tougher clean.
544
00:31:27,062 --> 00:31:30,132
From the makers of SpikeTape
comes CleanSlate...
545
00:31:30,265 --> 00:31:35,203
the only evidence eraser capable
of executing a perfect clean.
546
00:31:35,337 --> 00:31:37,272
There's nothing humorous
about about humerus
547
00:31:37,406 --> 00:31:39,441
getting stuck in your grout.
548
00:31:39,575 --> 00:31:42,644
Now, with CleanSlate's
patented power nozzle,
549
00:31:42,779 --> 00:31:44,847
you can destroy
latent bio-evidence
550
00:31:44,981 --> 00:31:47,382
on a molecular level.
551
00:31:47,516 --> 00:31:48,617
Mmm-mmm!
552
00:31:48,751 --> 00:31:50,118
Look at that shine.
553
00:31:50,252 --> 00:31:53,155
Order now and you'll receive
your very own body dissolver
554
00:31:53,288 --> 00:31:54,757
absolutely free!
555
00:31:54,891 --> 00:31:56,759
Send cash and money orders to...
556
00:31:56,893 --> 00:31:58,795
1-800-No-Vdnce.
557
00:31:58,928 --> 00:32:01,463
That's 1-800-No-Vdnce.
558
00:32:01,597 --> 00:32:03,398
Say goodbye to prison time
559
00:32:03,532 --> 00:32:06,635
and say hello
to reasonable doubt
560
00:32:06,769 --> 00:32:08,705
with CleanSlate.
561
00:32:08,838 --> 00:32:11,074
Now with lime!
562
00:32:11,206 --> 00:32:14,043
Nothing to see here.
563
00:32:14,176 --> 00:32:15,778
[ Dress rustling ]
564
00:32:15,912 --> 00:32:17,112
Down in the dumps?
565
00:32:17,245 --> 00:32:19,015
Feel like your life is a waste?
566
00:32:19,147 --> 00:32:20,115
Rubbish.
567
00:32:20,248 --> 00:32:21,617
Dispose of those silly notions
568
00:32:21,751 --> 00:32:24,453
and join me for another edition
of "Dead by Midnight."
569
00:32:24,586 --> 00:32:26,055
Our next piece
begs the question,
570
00:32:26,188 --> 00:32:27,790
"What are we most afraid of?"
571
00:32:27,924 --> 00:32:30,559
Is it the horrors we
run from in the dark
572
00:32:30,693 --> 00:32:32,762
or the fiends
we make along the way?
573
00:32:32,895 --> 00:32:35,330
We'll be seeing a solo
performance of tonight's
574
00:32:35,464 --> 00:32:39,368
terrifying toss-out...
"Clean UR Room."
575
00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:42,772
You can pause,
but you can't hide.
576
00:32:44,539 --> 00:32:46,575
[ Can cracks open ]
577
00:32:48,243 --> 00:32:50,178
[ Rock music plays ]
578
00:32:50,312 --> 00:32:54,050
♪♪♪
579
00:32:54,182 --> 00:32:57,053
Trevor: Oh, yeah, baby.
580
00:32:57,185 --> 00:32:59,122
Oh, yeah. Show me.
581
00:32:59,254 --> 00:33:02,692
♪♪♪
582
00:33:02,825 --> 00:33:04,259
[ Moaning ]
583
00:33:04,393 --> 00:33:13,803
♪♪♪
584
00:33:13,936 --> 00:33:15,170
[ Groans ]
585
00:33:15,303 --> 00:33:18,007
See you soon.
586
00:33:18,141 --> 00:33:20,208
[ Knock on door ]
587
00:33:22,078 --> 00:33:23,780
Damn it.
588
00:33:23,913 --> 00:33:26,348
[ Clatter ]
589
00:33:29,351 --> 00:33:31,653
What?
Why was your door locked?
590
00:33:31,788 --> 00:33:33,422
Mom, I'm not a kid
anymore, okay?
591
00:33:33,555 --> 00:33:35,158
I need privacy.
My own space.
592
00:33:35,290 --> 00:33:36,693
Okay, well, when you
start paying rent
593
00:33:36,826 --> 00:33:38,260
for your own space,
you can lock the door.
594
00:33:38,393 --> 00:33:39,862
Until then,
it remains unlocked.
595
00:33:39,996 --> 00:33:41,064
What did you want?
596
00:33:41,229 --> 00:33:42,464
I'm going out
for the evening.
597
00:33:42,597 --> 00:33:43,966
There's plenty of stuff
in the freezer.
598
00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:46,435
You can microwave it.
Please read the directions.
599
00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:49,739
Do not blow up the house.
Okay.
600
00:33:49,872 --> 00:33:51,540
And clean your room!
601
00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:23,906
♪♪♪
602
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,775
[ Microwave whirring ]
603
00:34:25,908 --> 00:34:34,917
♪♪♪
604
00:34:35,051 --> 00:34:36,585
Aah! Aah!
605
00:34:42,091 --> 00:34:48,363
♪♪♪
606
00:34:48,497 --> 00:34:55,037
♪♪♪
607
00:35:00,642 --> 00:35:02,577
Alright, I'm back.
608
00:35:04,113 --> 00:35:05,681
Ready to get wrecked?
609
00:35:05,815 --> 00:35:07,449
[ Laughs ]
Yeah, okay.
610
00:35:07,582 --> 00:35:09,417
I owned you last time, bitch.
Let's go.
611
00:35:09,551 --> 00:35:21,429
♪♪♪
612
00:35:21,563 --> 00:35:23,465
[ Coughing ]
613
00:35:23,598 --> 00:35:28,370
♪♪♪
614
00:35:28,503 --> 00:35:30,372
I'm fine.
615
00:35:30,505 --> 00:35:31,707
Little bitch.
616
00:35:31,841 --> 00:35:33,642
No, I wasn't...
That doesn't count.
617
00:35:33,776 --> 00:35:36,645
I mean, yeah, it counts,
but okay, fuck you.
618
00:35:36,779 --> 00:35:39,081
[ Belches, clears throat ]
619
00:35:41,383 --> 00:35:42,718
Yeah, how you like that, huh?
620
00:35:42,852 --> 00:35:45,353
A little T-bag.
How you like that, huh?
621
00:35:45,487 --> 00:35:47,190
How you like that shit?
622
00:35:47,322 --> 00:35:59,401
♪♪♪
623
00:35:59,534 --> 00:36:03,605
[ Video game trill ]
624
00:36:16,618 --> 00:36:17,753
[ Wheezes ]
625
00:36:17,887 --> 00:36:20,223
[ Laughs ]
Alright, I'm done.
626
00:36:20,355 --> 00:36:23,259
I can't handle the ass-beating
you're getting right now.
627
00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:25,061
I'll see ya tomorrow.
628
00:36:42,611 --> 00:36:46,682
[ Gurgling ]
629
00:37:05,201 --> 00:37:07,970
[ Distant thud ]
630
00:37:08,104 --> 00:37:09,805
Mom?
631
00:37:14,043 --> 00:37:15,745
Mom?
632
00:37:17,479 --> 00:37:20,683
♪♪♪
633
00:37:20,816 --> 00:37:22,118
Mom?
634
00:37:22,251 --> 00:37:29,258
♪♪♪
635
00:37:29,392 --> 00:37:31,827
[ Farting ]
636
00:37:31,961 --> 00:37:37,900
♪♪♪
637
00:37:38,034 --> 00:37:40,870
Oh. Oh, no.
638
00:37:41,003 --> 00:37:42,504
Oh, no. Oh, no.
639
00:37:42,637 --> 00:37:44,974
Oh, God. Oh!
[ Stomach gurgling ]
640
00:37:45,107 --> 00:37:47,410
Oh! Ah!
641
00:37:47,542 --> 00:37:49,779
Oh! Whoa!
642
00:37:49,912 --> 00:37:52,447
Ah!
643
00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:54,216
[ Farting ]
644
00:37:54,350 --> 00:38:02,725
♪♪♪
645
00:38:02,858 --> 00:38:04,226
Ah!
646
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,162
Oh!
647
00:38:06,295 --> 00:38:12,735
♪♪♪
648
00:38:12,868 --> 00:38:14,136
No.
649
00:38:14,270 --> 00:38:21,077
♪♪♪
650
00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:36,491
♪♪♪
651
00:38:36,624 --> 00:38:39,095
[ Gurgling ]
652
00:38:41,897 --> 00:38:43,199
Nuh!
653
00:38:45,735 --> 00:38:47,269
[ Sniffs ]
654
00:39:04,253 --> 00:39:06,588
Ah!
655
00:39:06,722 --> 00:39:08,623
Nice work, genius.
656
00:39:40,990 --> 00:39:43,459
[ Choral note plays ]
657
00:39:43,591 --> 00:39:47,997
♪♪♪
658
00:39:48,130 --> 00:39:49,832
Let's do this.
659
00:39:56,439 --> 00:39:58,841
♪♪♪
660
00:39:58,974 --> 00:40:00,342
Mom?
661
00:40:00,476 --> 00:40:11,720
♪♪♪
662
00:40:11,854 --> 00:40:16,225
Hey, if anyone's in here,
you better get out!
663
00:40:18,561 --> 00:40:21,931
You'd hate to be at the other
end of this sword.
664
00:40:24,599 --> 00:40:26,969
Yah!
665
00:40:27,103 --> 00:40:29,572
That's a wall.
[ Taps ]
666
00:40:29,705 --> 00:40:31,639
Awesome.
667
00:40:33,675 --> 00:40:37,580
Hey, you see those
reflexes, huh?
668
00:40:37,713 --> 00:40:41,050
If that was you,
you'd have been a goner.
669
00:40:41,183 --> 00:40:42,518
Huh?
670
00:40:42,650 --> 00:40:51,360
♪♪♪
671
00:40:51,494 --> 00:41:00,236
♪♪♪
672
00:41:00,369 --> 00:41:02,171
Okay, okay.
673
00:41:02,304 --> 00:41:04,740
[ Exhales ]
Cut the shit, Trevor.
674
00:41:04,874 --> 00:41:07,810
It's all in your head.
You're an adult man.
675
00:41:07,943 --> 00:41:10,079
Be an adult.
676
00:41:10,212 --> 00:41:11,747
I'm a man.
677
00:41:13,648 --> 00:41:15,317
I'm a man.
678
00:41:15,451 --> 00:41:17,620
[ Door hinges creak ]
679
00:41:17,753 --> 00:41:24,627
♪♪♪
680
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,395
[ Electric chair beeps ]
681
00:41:26,529 --> 00:41:29,265
[ Whirring ]
682
00:41:29,398 --> 00:41:34,236
♪♪♪
683
00:41:34,370 --> 00:41:37,239
[ Humming nervously ]
684
00:41:43,212 --> 00:41:52,354
♪♪♪
685
00:41:52,488 --> 00:41:53,856
[ Gasps ]
686
00:41:53,989 --> 00:41:58,427
♪♪♪
687
00:41:58,561 --> 00:42:00,095
Mr. Hot Dog?
688
00:42:00,229 --> 00:42:05,801
♪♪♪
689
00:42:05,935 --> 00:42:08,137
I can't believe
Mom put you down here.
690
00:42:08,270 --> 00:42:14,777
♪♪♪
691
00:42:14,910 --> 00:42:17,379
Oh, shit.
692
00:42:17,513 --> 00:42:25,521
♪♪♪
693
00:42:25,654 --> 00:42:27,691
What the hell?
694
00:42:27,823 --> 00:42:31,727
♪♪♪
695
00:42:31,860 --> 00:42:34,597
[ Screaming ]
696
00:42:34,730 --> 00:42:40,836
♪♪♪
697
00:42:40,970 --> 00:42:47,276
♪♪♪
698
00:42:47,409 --> 00:42:48,744
[ Grunts ]
699
00:42:48,877 --> 00:42:52,615
♪♪♪
700
00:42:52,748 --> 00:42:54,883
[ Whimpers ]
701
00:42:56,518 --> 00:42:58,554
[ Creaking ]
702
00:42:58,688 --> 00:43:05,527
♪♪♪
703
00:43:05,661 --> 00:43:12,835
♪♪♪
704
00:43:16,138 --> 00:43:18,374
[ Door hinges creak ]
705
00:43:21,510 --> 00:43:27,616
♪♪♪
706
00:43:27,751 --> 00:43:30,519
[ Bed creaks ]
707
00:43:30,653 --> 00:43:32,655
[ Monster gurgling ]
708
00:43:32,788 --> 00:43:39,628
♪♪♪
709
00:43:39,763 --> 00:43:46,568
♪♪♪
710
00:43:46,703 --> 00:43:50,072
[ Screams ]
711
00:43:54,778 --> 00:43:57,613
[ Screaming ]
712
00:43:57,747 --> 00:43:59,815
[ Monster gurgling ]
713
00:43:59,948 --> 00:44:09,958
♪♪♪
714
00:44:10,092 --> 00:44:12,594
[ Gurgling stops ]
715
00:44:18,100 --> 00:44:20,169
What is going on
in here?
716
00:44:20,302 --> 00:44:23,972
You can't... You can't just pile
your stuff in the corner.
717
00:44:25,307 --> 00:44:26,942
I really don't think
you understand the concept
718
00:44:27,076 --> 00:44:28,977
of clean your room.
719
00:44:31,748 --> 00:44:33,515
Trevor: Mom?
720
00:44:35,050 --> 00:44:40,589
♪♪♪
721
00:44:40,724 --> 00:44:43,292
What are you looking at?
722
00:44:43,425 --> 00:44:45,695
[ Gurgling ]
723
00:44:45,829 --> 00:44:55,971
♪♪♪
724
00:44:56,105 --> 00:44:58,708
[ Screams ]
No, no, no!
725
00:44:58,842 --> 00:45:01,043
[ Screaming ]
726
00:45:01,176 --> 00:45:08,050
♪♪♪
727
00:45:08,183 --> 00:45:15,290
♪♪♪
728
00:45:15,424 --> 00:45:17,493
[ Coughs ]
729
00:45:17,626 --> 00:45:20,162
[ High-pitched scream ]
730
00:45:27,737 --> 00:45:35,911
♪♪♪
731
00:45:36,044 --> 00:45:44,219
♪♪♪
732
00:45:44,353 --> 00:45:46,890
[ Monster gurgling ]
733
00:45:47,022 --> 00:45:49,458
[ Screaming ]
734
00:45:49,591 --> 00:45:52,461
[ Panting ]
735
00:45:52,594 --> 00:45:57,332
♪♪♪
736
00:46:01,103 --> 00:46:03,439
[ Exhales ]
737
00:46:10,512 --> 00:46:12,849
[ Screaming ]
738
00:46:12,981 --> 00:46:15,718
[ Monster gurgling ]
739
00:46:15,852 --> 00:46:25,594
♪♪♪
740
00:46:25,728 --> 00:46:29,498
Temptress: Mm, I just feel awful
about the way that ended.
741
00:46:29,631 --> 00:46:31,233
For the monster, I mean.
742
00:46:31,366 --> 00:46:35,404
Oh, don't look at me like that.
I get off on being trashy.
743
00:46:35,537 --> 00:46:37,973
Litter-ally.
[ Laughs ]
744
00:46:38,106 --> 00:46:40,242
[ Snorts ]
745
00:46:40,375 --> 00:46:43,278
[ Canned laughter ]
746
00:46:47,616 --> 00:46:51,153
But let's suppose we dispose
of the deposed for now.
747
00:46:51,286 --> 00:46:53,989
Until some fresh souls
get tossed out,
748
00:46:54,122 --> 00:46:55,925
you'll know where to find me.
749
00:46:56,058 --> 00:46:59,194
I'll be right here waiting...
750
00:46:59,328 --> 00:47:00,996
[Echoing] for you.
751
00:47:01,129 --> 00:47:04,968
Every year on Valentine's Day,
people spend hundreds of dollars
752
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:06,268
trying to tell their
loved ones...
753
00:47:06,401 --> 00:47:08,670
fuck... how they truly feel.
754
00:47:08,805 --> 00:47:10,940
But what about
the people you hate?
755
00:47:11,073 --> 00:47:12,942
Don't you want to tell
your co-workers
756
00:47:13,075 --> 00:47:14,676
how you really feel about them?
757
00:47:14,811 --> 00:47:17,479
Well, that's why I started
Bag of Dicks Delivery.
758
00:47:17,613 --> 00:47:21,416
I will send a bag of dicks
to your enemy's doorstep.
759
00:47:21,550 --> 00:47:24,253
And we got a variety
of dick options available.
760
00:47:24,386 --> 00:47:26,522
♪ Bag of Dicks,
Bag of Dicks ♪
761
00:47:26,655 --> 00:47:28,925
♪ Look at you sending
that Bag of Dicks ♪
762
00:47:29,057 --> 00:47:31,126
♪ Bag of Dicks for delivery ♪
763
00:47:31,260 --> 00:47:32,929
♪ One for every enemy ♪
764
00:47:33,061 --> 00:47:35,330
♪ It's a bag, it's a bag,
it's a bag, it's a bag ♪
765
00:47:35,464 --> 00:47:37,466
♪ It's a bag, it's a bag,
it's a bag, it's a bag ♪
766
00:47:37,599 --> 00:47:39,668
♪ It's a bag, it's a bag,
it's a bag, it's a bag ♪
767
00:47:39,802 --> 00:47:41,336
♪ It's dicks, dicks, dicks,
dicks, dicks, dicks, ♪
768
00:47:41,470 --> 00:47:43,071
♪ Dicks, dicks, dicks ♪
769
00:47:43,205 --> 00:47:44,640
[ Gags ]
770
00:47:44,774 --> 00:47:52,581
♪♪♪
771
00:47:52,715 --> 00:47:56,986
Killing the planet for profits,
campaign meddling, fake news,
772
00:47:57,119 --> 00:47:59,722
and the rise
of race-baiting nationalism
773
00:47:59,856 --> 00:48:02,157
have all been debunked
as libtard cluckery.
774
00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:03,559
[ Rooster crows ]
775
00:48:03,693 --> 00:48:05,127
But with the advent
of a new program...
776
00:48:05,260 --> 00:48:07,296
Streaming service.
777
00:48:07,429 --> 00:48:09,598
Right,
programmable streaming
778
00:48:09,732 --> 00:48:13,201
literally pulling people's souls
out of their bodies,
779
00:48:13,335 --> 00:48:14,670
critics have been quick
to point out
780
00:48:14,804 --> 00:48:17,139
this is the work of
Satan himself.
781
00:48:17,272 --> 00:48:18,607
Do you care to comment?
782
00:48:18,741 --> 00:48:22,644
He goes by "Luci" now,
and while he may be the owner,
783
00:48:22,779 --> 00:48:25,447
you can think of me
as the CEO.
784
00:48:25,581 --> 00:48:28,550
Soul-harvesting this quarter
has definitely seen an increase,
785
00:48:28,685 --> 00:48:31,553
but I wanted to get back
to the eternal suffering
786
00:48:31,688 --> 00:48:35,157
and blind devotion
that this all started with.
787
00:48:35,290 --> 00:48:37,359
Are you left-handed
or right, Chirk?
788
00:48:37,492 --> 00:48:38,795
Right.
789
00:48:38,928 --> 00:48:40,997
Right. Pick up the hammer
with your left hand.
790
00:48:41,129 --> 00:48:44,099
See, I don't think of
suffering as a byproduct.
791
00:48:44,232 --> 00:48:46,568
I want it to be
our new main export.
792
00:48:46,703 --> 00:48:48,570
Now smash your right hand.
793
00:48:48,705 --> 00:48:49,906
You got it.
794
00:48:50,039 --> 00:48:51,340
[ Screams ]
795
00:48:51,473 --> 00:48:53,275
It's not enough
to throw a wide net.
796
00:48:53,408 --> 00:48:56,478
I want to be in every home
across the world
797
00:48:56,612 --> 00:48:59,348
with the specific intent
of pain.
798
00:48:59,481 --> 00:49:01,183
This program
is just the beginning.
799
00:49:01,316 --> 00:49:03,953
Once we find
the right technology,
800
00:49:04,087 --> 00:49:05,520
no one will be safe.
801
00:49:05,654 --> 00:49:09,257
Darkness will reign,
the world will suffer,
802
00:49:09,391 --> 00:49:12,862
and up next is another episode
of "Dead by Midnight."
803
00:49:12,996 --> 00:49:18,001
Hi, I'm Cassie, the world's
first AI virtual home assistant,
804
00:49:18,133 --> 00:49:19,501
and I'm here to help.
805
00:49:19,635 --> 00:49:22,337
I can understand
every human language,
806
00:49:22,471 --> 00:49:24,874
and I'm always listening.
807
00:49:25,008 --> 00:49:26,809
Need me to set the thermostat?
808
00:49:29,311 --> 00:49:31,848
Start dinner?
809
00:49:31,981 --> 00:49:33,382
Train Fido?
810
00:49:33,515 --> 00:49:36,251
Play dead. Good boy.
811
00:49:36,385 --> 00:49:39,321
Or even assist
with home security.
812
00:49:41,256 --> 00:49:43,659
[ Alarm blaring ]
813
00:49:43,793 --> 00:49:46,261
Get the fuck out!
I'm calling the cops!
814
00:49:46,395 --> 00:49:47,997
[ Gunshots ]
815
00:49:48,131 --> 00:49:56,873
♪♪♪
816
00:49:57,006 --> 00:49:59,942
I can't wait to
"take care of" your family.
817
00:50:00,076 --> 00:50:03,680
So go ahead and let me know,
how can I hel...
818
00:50:03,813 --> 00:50:05,048
hurt you.
819
00:50:05,180 --> 00:50:12,021
♪♪♪
820
00:50:12,155 --> 00:50:13,723
Picture, if you will, a world
821
00:50:13,856 --> 00:50:17,526
in which imagination
and reality are one.
822
00:50:17,659 --> 00:50:22,497
A reality virtually impossible
to differentiate from fantasy.
823
00:50:22,631 --> 00:50:26,268
A dream world identical
to your worst nightmare.
824
00:50:27,837 --> 00:50:31,540
That is the sad truth for our
next pitiful victims, as well.
825
00:50:31,673 --> 00:50:36,478
So follow me as I weave
Dante Green and Vanessa Ellis
826
00:50:36,611 --> 00:50:39,548
through a World Wide Web
of danger
827
00:50:39,682 --> 00:50:43,251
in this next installment
of "Dead by Midnight"...
828
00:50:43,385 --> 00:50:45,855
"Heroes of Time."
829
00:50:45,988 --> 00:50:47,456
You can pause.
830
00:50:49,025 --> 00:50:50,693
But you cannot hide.
831
00:50:54,931 --> 00:50:57,365
[ Grunting ]
832
00:50:57,499 --> 00:51:04,006
♪♪♪
833
00:51:04,140 --> 00:51:10,445
♪♪♪
834
00:51:10,579 --> 00:51:13,116
[Dramatic voice] Whoa!
Watch out, Master Zeke!
835
00:51:13,248 --> 00:51:14,649
Yaah!
836
00:51:14,784 --> 00:51:16,451
[ Growls ]
837
00:51:16,585 --> 00:51:19,488
What am I supposed to do?
my spells are not working!
838
00:51:19,621 --> 00:51:21,656
C'mon, Zeke, you're all about
dynamic storylines,
839
00:51:21,791 --> 00:51:23,558
but you ruin
every genuine moment.
840
00:51:23,693 --> 00:51:26,062
That's just who I am.
841
00:51:26,195 --> 00:51:27,697
A moment ruiner.
842
00:51:27,830 --> 00:51:34,804
♪♪♪
843
00:51:34,937 --> 00:51:38,107
[ Laughs ]
844
00:51:38,241 --> 00:51:40,209
Good work here today!
845
00:51:40,342 --> 00:51:42,344
Zernithia will be
safer place
846
00:51:42,477 --> 00:51:45,347
knowing that that fiend
is vanquished.
847
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,185
You two should celebrate
this victory.
848
00:51:49,317 --> 00:51:51,187
Together.
849
00:51:51,319 --> 00:51:53,055
Mm, yes.
850
00:51:53,189 --> 00:51:57,860
♪♪♪
851
00:51:57,994 --> 00:52:00,029
Sorry, guys,
needed a breather.
852
00:52:01,663 --> 00:52:03,866
Hey, Jacklynn.
You're off work late.
853
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:05,902
Yeah, I don't want to talk
about it, but, um,
854
00:52:06,035 --> 00:52:07,569
I'm gonna log on,
unless I'm ruining
855
00:52:07,703 --> 00:52:10,605
everyone else's good time.
856
00:52:10,740 --> 00:52:12,607
[Softly]
♪ Zeke and Amelia ♪
857
00:52:12,742 --> 00:52:14,811
♪ Sitting in a tree ♪
858
00:52:14,944 --> 00:52:16,511
Shut up.
859
00:52:27,656 --> 00:52:30,193
[ Mystical music plays ]
860
00:52:30,325 --> 00:52:40,502
♪♪♪
861
00:52:40,635 --> 00:52:51,013
♪♪♪
862
00:52:51,147 --> 00:53:01,356
♪♪♪
863
00:53:01,489 --> 00:53:11,868
♪♪♪
864
00:53:12,001 --> 00:53:22,178
♪♪♪
865
00:53:22,311 --> 00:53:24,213
Jacklynn?
866
00:53:24,347 --> 00:53:25,480
Dailies, huh?
867
00:53:25,614 --> 00:53:26,581
Zeke, no.
868
00:53:26,716 --> 00:53:28,383
Whatever's on your mind...
869
00:53:28,516 --> 00:53:29,785
I'll be back in an hour.
870
00:53:29,919 --> 00:53:31,320
It's not my fault
you got off work late
871
00:53:31,453 --> 00:53:33,923
and missed
the greatest battle ever.
872
00:53:34,056 --> 00:53:35,224
Hey, rules.
873
00:53:35,358 --> 00:53:36,558
Remember,
no real-world stuff.
874
00:53:36,692 --> 00:53:38,861
Fine, fine.
But you owe me.
875
00:53:38,995 --> 00:53:41,197
You can kiss your
Mohino Orphanage daily goodbye.
876
00:53:41,330 --> 00:53:43,699
And your generous gift
of sweet gold. Instead...
877
00:53:43,833 --> 00:53:46,068
"Knights of Honor"
should come first.
878
00:53:46,202 --> 00:53:50,605
You and Zeke did create it to
better the kingdom of Zernithia.
879
00:53:50,740 --> 00:53:54,143
Oh, and the scrolls.
Don't forget the scrolls, too.
880
00:53:54,277 --> 00:53:55,845
Yes, master Zeke.
881
00:53:55,978 --> 00:54:01,817
Let us party up and go into
Maywicker Forest for Amelia.
882
00:54:01,951 --> 00:54:04,186
Oh, yes, I've been waiting
for the gear
883
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,923
that drops in that dungeon
for like weeks.
884
00:54:07,056 --> 00:54:10,458
Are you kidding me?
I said no.
885
00:54:10,592 --> 00:54:12,427
You done trying
to convince me?
886
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:13,896
Bye.
887
00:54:14,030 --> 00:54:17,900
[ Screams ]
888
00:54:18,034 --> 00:54:20,970
Seriously, dude,
what is your problem?
889
00:54:21,103 --> 00:54:23,505
[ Screaming ]
890
00:54:23,638 --> 00:54:25,674
What's going on?
Are you alright?
891
00:54:27,376 --> 00:54:30,379
[ Both screaming in pain ]
892
00:54:30,512 --> 00:54:41,057
♪♪♪
893
00:54:43,658 --> 00:54:45,728
What just happened to us?
894
00:54:45,861 --> 00:54:46,896
Ah!
895
00:54:47,029 --> 00:54:50,099
What the hell?
I-I gotta get outta here.
896
00:54:50,232 --> 00:54:51,934
Everyone calm down.
897
00:54:53,668 --> 00:54:55,570
I can't log off.
898
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,541
I-I can't log off either.
899
00:54:59,674 --> 00:55:01,310
It's probably just a bug
or something.
900
00:55:01,444 --> 00:55:02,644
We'll give it a little time.
901
00:55:02,778 --> 00:55:05,147
I'm sure the DMs
will fix it in no time.
902
00:55:05,281 --> 00:55:06,882
Well said, Zeke.
903
00:55:07,016 --> 00:55:13,089
Have faith in God of Jonos,
for she shall protect us.
904
00:55:13,222 --> 00:55:16,158
Are you still RP-ing
after that?
905
00:55:16,292 --> 00:55:17,592
I wasted enough time here.
906
00:55:17,727 --> 00:55:19,494
Jacklynn, we've got to
stick together.
907
00:55:19,627 --> 00:55:27,602
♪♪♪
908
00:55:27,737 --> 00:55:35,711
♪♪♪
909
00:55:35,845 --> 00:55:37,113
Hunter?
Hmm?
910
00:55:37,246 --> 00:55:40,316
Did you queue us
for Maywicker Forest?
911
00:55:40,449 --> 00:55:43,252
I don't remember
queuing us.
912
00:55:46,288 --> 00:55:49,657
I don't think this is
Maywicker forest.
913
00:55:49,792 --> 00:55:52,361
Seems a lot less foresty
than I recall.
914
00:55:52,495 --> 00:55:56,032
I'm confused. If this isn't
that dungeon, then...
915
00:55:56,165 --> 00:55:57,665
Did you teleport us,
Jacklynn?
916
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,635
No. I was teleporting
myself to Rin.
917
00:56:00,770 --> 00:56:04,273
This can't be.
Hunter, how did you?
918
00:56:04,407 --> 00:56:05,708
How did I what?
919
00:56:05,841 --> 00:56:08,811
You sly dog, you.
I don't know how you did it.
920
00:56:08,944 --> 00:56:10,413
But we're in
Sir Rawkin's Keep.
921
00:56:10,545 --> 00:56:11,480
Ah!
922
00:56:11,613 --> 00:56:12,982
Wait a minute.
923
00:56:13,115 --> 00:56:15,217
Did you get early access
to that new patch?
924
00:56:15,351 --> 00:56:17,086
Is that why
Rin was so mad at you?
925
00:56:17,219 --> 00:56:19,355
Wait, w-what is Zeke
talking about?
926
00:56:19,488 --> 00:56:24,093
I have no idea, but this has
nothing to do with that.
927
00:56:24,226 --> 00:56:26,062
Sir Rawkin's Keep.
So hyped!
928
00:56:26,195 --> 00:56:28,497
Last one to Sir Rawkin
forks over a million gold.
929
00:56:28,630 --> 00:56:30,900
Oh, you're on!
930
00:56:31,033 --> 00:56:33,601
Stay together, huh?
931
00:56:33,736 --> 00:56:36,839
Okay, so Sir Rawkin is
a part of the update,
932
00:56:36,972 --> 00:56:39,607
and no one is allowed
in that dungeon for weeks.
933
00:56:39,742 --> 00:56:41,177
And Rin?
934
00:56:41,310 --> 00:56:42,745
Explain now.
935
00:56:42,878 --> 00:56:46,182
Will people stop assuming I know
what's going on here?
936
00:56:46,315 --> 00:56:50,086
Plus our DPS just ran off
without their healer or tank.
937
00:56:50,219 --> 00:56:53,789
Let's focus on catching up
with them. Hmm?
938
00:56:56,192 --> 00:56:57,726
[ Sighs ]
939
00:56:57,860 --> 00:57:02,031
♪♪♪
940
00:57:02,164 --> 00:57:04,433
That was almost
too easy.
941
00:57:04,567 --> 00:57:06,001
Where are the monsters?
942
00:57:06,135 --> 00:57:09,472
Better question...
where are Zeke and Amelia?
943
00:57:09,604 --> 00:57:11,207
I have no idea.
944
00:57:11,340 --> 00:57:13,375
Is that your new
catchphrase tonight?
945
00:57:13,509 --> 00:57:14,609
Yes.
946
00:57:14,743 --> 00:57:21,283
♪♪♪
947
00:57:21,417 --> 00:57:24,253
[Distorted voice]
Welcome to my lair.
948
00:57:24,386 --> 00:57:25,988
Today will be your last.
949
00:57:26,122 --> 00:57:28,691
Without DPS, this will be
most unpleasant.
950
00:57:28,824 --> 00:57:30,526
We could die
if we're not careful.
951
00:57:30,658 --> 00:57:32,027
Wait.
952
00:57:32,161 --> 00:57:33,696
Are you serious about fighting
him, just the two of us?
953
00:57:33,829 --> 00:57:35,397
All the more reason
to focus up.
954
00:57:35,531 --> 00:57:38,968
Now cast Secure and
we'll show him my big sword!
955
00:57:39,101 --> 00:57:41,904
Hey, badass, over here.
956
00:57:43,539 --> 00:57:45,307
Hoo-aah!
957
00:57:45,441 --> 00:57:48,577
[ Grunting ]
958
00:57:48,711 --> 00:57:57,820
♪♪♪
959
00:57:57,953 --> 00:58:07,229
♪♪♪
960
00:58:07,363 --> 00:58:09,465
[ Grunting ]
961
00:58:09,598 --> 00:58:10,699
What are you doing?
962
00:58:10,833 --> 00:58:12,468
Heal me. Help fight.
963
00:58:12,601 --> 00:58:17,139
♪♪♪
964
00:58:17,273 --> 00:58:19,441
[ Grunting ]
965
00:58:19,575 --> 00:58:27,650
♪♪♪
966
00:58:27,783 --> 00:58:29,952
[ Screams ]
967
00:58:32,755 --> 00:58:35,291
[ Screaming ]
968
00:58:36,959 --> 00:58:39,295
Hunter: I'm bleeding out
over here!
969
00:58:39,428 --> 00:58:41,030
[ Coughs ]
970
00:58:43,966 --> 00:58:45,467
Where's my support?
971
00:58:45,601 --> 00:58:54,376
♪♪♪
972
00:58:54,510 --> 00:59:03,252
♪♪♪
973
00:59:03,385 --> 00:59:12,161
♪♪♪
974
00:59:12,294 --> 00:59:15,030
Raaah!
975
00:59:15,164 --> 00:59:16,865
Looks like we're late
to the party.
976
00:59:16,999 --> 00:59:18,234
Yeah, apparently.
977
00:59:18,367 --> 00:59:20,536
Thank Jonos
you two are here.
978
00:59:20,669 --> 00:59:24,907
♪♪♪
979
00:59:27,843 --> 00:59:29,945
[ Birds chirping ]
980
00:59:33,082 --> 00:59:35,217
So, a large part of me
wants to scream
981
00:59:35,351 --> 00:59:36,952
my brains out
that half our team
982
00:59:37,086 --> 00:59:40,155
bailed on the first boss fight
until halfway through.
983
00:59:40,289 --> 00:59:44,093
And half of the other half was
barely functioning as a team.
984
00:59:44,226 --> 00:59:48,230
But I'm just going to skip
all that and instead kindly ask,
985
00:59:48,364 --> 00:59:51,233
what do you think
went wrong back there?
986
00:59:51,367 --> 00:59:53,502
I think it all started
when I said,
987
00:59:53,636 --> 00:59:55,437
"Do you seriously think
that we can fight him
988
00:59:55,571 --> 00:59:57,072
with just the two of us?"
989
00:59:57,206 --> 00:59:59,375
And you said, "Of course we can
because I'm a dumb idiot."
990
00:59:59,508 --> 01:00:03,212
So that justifies not helping?
I could have died.
991
01:00:03,345 --> 01:00:06,982
Look, my shitty job
with the shitty pay
992
01:00:07,116 --> 01:00:09,285
that allows me to afford
my shitty life
993
01:00:09,418 --> 01:00:11,420
couldn't have gotten
any shittier
994
01:00:11,553 --> 01:00:15,357
when my boss... he offered
me a 25-cent raise
995
01:00:15,491 --> 01:00:18,494
while grabbing my ass.
996
01:00:18,627 --> 01:00:21,397
And I didn't stop him.
I was too scared.
997
01:00:21,530 --> 01:00:26,335
And I didn't turn him down,
because fuck it.
998
01:00:28,270 --> 01:00:34,176
But I'm so glad that you get
to play this game 24/7
999
01:00:34,310 --> 01:00:36,612
and that you get to be
Mr. Know-It-All.
1000
01:00:36,746 --> 01:00:39,481
But when I log on here
for the sole purpose
1001
01:00:39,615 --> 01:00:41,050
of escaping my day
1002
01:00:41,183 --> 01:00:43,986
and you tell me to leave
my drama at the door,
1003
01:00:44,119 --> 01:00:47,323
it makes me wonder if you
even know what drama is.
1004
01:00:47,456 --> 01:00:50,459
I...
1005
01:00:50,592 --> 01:00:52,328
I don't know what to say.
1006
01:00:53,929 --> 01:00:55,531
You're unbelievable.
1007
01:01:03,439 --> 01:01:04,907
[ Groans ]
1008
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:07,109
Whoa, whoa.
1009
01:01:07,242 --> 01:01:09,878
Did Hunter really
beat Rin in a PVP match?
1010
01:01:10,012 --> 01:01:12,281
Boys will be boys
for a girl's heart.
1011
01:01:12,414 --> 01:01:14,049
Seriously.
1012
01:01:14,183 --> 01:01:16,452
You do have
a way with words.
1013
01:01:16,585 --> 01:01:18,053
But do you think Hunter
brought us here
1014
01:01:18,187 --> 01:01:19,823
just to impress Jacklynn?
1015
01:01:19,955 --> 01:01:23,859
If I were you, I would
take this all in.
1016
01:01:23,992 --> 01:01:25,961
[ Sniffs ]
1017
01:01:26,095 --> 01:01:28,698
What's that smell?
1018
01:01:28,832 --> 01:01:30,432
I thought I was going crazy.
1019
01:01:30,566 --> 01:01:33,001
I didn't think senses came
with the last patch update.
1020
01:01:33,135 --> 01:01:35,871
You? Crazy? No.
1021
01:01:36,004 --> 01:01:38,674
When you cast your fireball,
I felt it.
1022
01:01:38,808 --> 01:01:40,909
The heat,
it could've burnt me.
1023
01:01:41,043 --> 01:01:43,747
Ya know...
1024
01:01:43,879 --> 01:01:46,648
I can melt your heart.
1025
01:01:46,783 --> 01:01:50,720
Not if that guy behind you
sets me on fire first.
1026
01:01:50,854 --> 01:01:53,088
Who dare challenge
my beauty?
1027
01:01:54,858 --> 01:01:56,992
Rawkin, I thought
we killed you.
1028
01:01:57,126 --> 01:02:03,065
♪♪♪
1029
01:02:03,198 --> 01:02:05,835
I am no more Rawkin
than you are a mage
1030
01:02:05,968 --> 01:02:09,538
or she a bard or he a paladin
1031
01:02:09,671 --> 01:02:12,174
or she a cleric.
1032
01:02:12,307 --> 01:02:14,510
Something is wrong.
1033
01:02:14,643 --> 01:02:15,944
Everyone.
1034
01:02:16,078 --> 01:02:17,881
Rawkin is more dangerous
than before
1035
01:02:18,013 --> 01:02:19,248
and not zoned in.
1036
01:02:19,381 --> 01:02:20,850
We need to go.
We need to run.
1037
01:02:20,983 --> 01:02:23,585
Knights of Honor
don't run.
1038
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:26,088
- Let's waste him.
- I'll get higher aggro than you.
1039
01:02:26,221 --> 01:02:27,857
Challenge accepted.
1040
01:02:27,990 --> 01:02:29,826
Damn it.
1041
01:02:29,958 --> 01:02:31,193
[ Screams ]
1042
01:02:31,326 --> 01:02:33,662
Ah, he means business.
1043
01:02:33,797 --> 01:02:36,131
Hey, Rawkin, let's dance.
1044
01:02:36,265 --> 01:02:38,902
Jacklynn, please,
no screwing around this time.
1045
01:02:39,034 --> 01:02:40,936
Seriously?
1046
01:02:45,875 --> 01:02:52,614
♪♪♪
1047
01:02:52,749 --> 01:02:53,949
Amelia!
1048
01:02:54,082 --> 01:02:55,417
Son of a...
1049
01:02:55,551 --> 01:02:59,889
♪♪♪
1050
01:03:00,022 --> 01:03:01,925
[ Groans ]
1051
01:03:02,057 --> 01:03:05,494
♪♪♪
1052
01:03:05,627 --> 01:03:07,496
Levarro!
1053
01:03:07,629 --> 01:03:08,997
Sizzle!
1054
01:03:09,131 --> 01:03:18,474
♪♪♪
1055
01:03:18,607 --> 01:03:19,876
Teleport.
1056
01:03:20,008 --> 01:03:29,451
♪♪♪
1057
01:03:29,585 --> 01:03:30,854
Teleport!
1058
01:03:30,986 --> 01:03:34,122
♪♪♪
1059
01:03:36,225 --> 01:03:43,833
♪♪♪
1060
01:03:43,967 --> 01:03:45,702
Get me outta here.
1061
01:03:45,835 --> 01:03:47,336
Get me outta here,
get me outta here.
1062
01:03:47,469 --> 01:03:49,404
Get me outta here.
We're gonna die in this game!
1063
01:03:49,538 --> 01:03:51,006
Enough!
1064
01:03:53,175 --> 01:03:54,844
Get it together.
1065
01:03:54,978 --> 01:03:56,512
Get it together?
1066
01:03:56,645 --> 01:03:58,413
We're stuck.
1067
01:03:58,547 --> 01:04:00,449
For now.
1068
01:04:00,582 --> 01:04:04,086
Don't give me that response.
It's true.
1069
01:04:04,219 --> 01:04:05,387
We all knew
something was wrong
1070
01:04:05,521 --> 01:04:06,823
when all our heads
started hurting,
1071
01:04:06,956 --> 01:04:08,858
and no one said anything
or wanted to admit it.
1072
01:04:08,992 --> 01:04:10,125
Look on the bright side.
1073
01:04:10,259 --> 01:04:11,627
You're stuck in a game
that you love.
1074
01:04:11,761 --> 01:04:13,562
You're away from the
so-called life that you hate.
1075
01:04:13,696 --> 01:04:16,833
Zeke, if it was
you and me,
1076
01:04:16,966 --> 01:04:20,502
running away from reality
wouldn't be that bad.
1077
01:04:20,636 --> 01:04:24,540
But there's Hunter and Amelia,
and they're dead.
1078
01:04:24,673 --> 01:04:26,275
Not in-game dead,
but dead dead.
1079
01:04:26,408 --> 01:04:27,977
We've died hundreds of times
in this game,
1080
01:04:28,110 --> 01:04:29,545
and we've never
seen blooded death,
1081
01:04:29,678 --> 01:04:30,847
let alone that.
1082
01:04:30,980 --> 01:04:32,214
Okay, I know
the difference
1083
01:04:32,347 --> 01:04:35,284
between real pain
and character pain.
1084
01:04:35,417 --> 01:04:37,720
My hands are on fire.
1085
01:04:37,854 --> 01:04:39,221
He needs to die.
1086
01:04:39,354 --> 01:04:43,893
♪♪♪
1087
01:04:44,027 --> 01:04:45,260
Sir Rawkin,
what do you want?
1088
01:04:45,394 --> 01:04:48,163
What any overpowered
final boss wants.
1089
01:04:48,297 --> 01:04:49,966
He wants to finish us.
1090
01:04:50,098 --> 01:04:51,701
You speak out of turn,
fledgling.
1091
01:04:51,834 --> 01:04:56,572
Your death is only necessary
if Jacklynn does not join me.
1092
01:04:58,240 --> 01:04:59,441
But why?
1093
01:04:59,575 --> 01:05:03,746
Your world is a nightmare.
But my world?
1094
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:05,614
My world is Heaven.
1095
01:05:05,748 --> 01:05:07,149
Cute reality.
1096
01:05:07,282 --> 01:05:08,818
But why me?
1097
01:05:08,952 --> 01:05:12,654
You are but amongst 10 of the
strongest players in Threa,
1098
01:05:12,789 --> 01:05:15,624
proven today
in this very dungeon.
1099
01:05:15,758 --> 01:05:18,795
Jacklynn,
this is a game.
1100
01:05:18,928 --> 01:05:20,930
This is no game.
1101
01:05:21,064 --> 01:05:23,032
Jacklynn, you can't actually
be considering this.
1102
01:05:23,165 --> 01:05:24,701
He killed Hunter.
He killed Amelia!
1103
01:05:24,834 --> 01:05:27,971
You said it yourself.
1104
01:05:28,103 --> 01:05:30,172
I belong here.
1105
01:05:30,305 --> 01:05:33,642
No, don't go.
Jacklynn.
1106
01:05:33,776 --> 01:05:36,879
Spare Zeke...
1107
01:05:37,013 --> 01:05:38,547
and I'm yours.
1108
01:05:38,681 --> 01:05:47,090
♪♪♪
1109
01:05:47,222 --> 01:05:49,124
Jacklynn?
1110
01:05:53,796 --> 01:05:56,799
Jacklynn!
1111
01:05:56,933 --> 01:06:00,770
[ Gasping ]
1112
01:06:09,879 --> 01:06:13,750
[ Heartbeat ]
1113
01:06:26,261 --> 01:06:35,104
♪♪♪
1114
01:06:35,237 --> 01:06:37,840
[ Headset thudding ]
1115
01:06:37,974 --> 01:06:39,709
[ Crying ]
1116
01:06:39,842 --> 01:06:51,186
♪♪♪
1117
01:06:51,319 --> 01:07:02,832
♪♪♪
1118
01:07:02,965 --> 01:07:14,309
♪♪♪
1119
01:07:14,443 --> 01:07:16,179
[ Mystical music plays ]
1120
01:07:16,311 --> 01:07:19,247
[ Music distorts, stops ]
1121
01:07:23,986 --> 01:07:25,353
Temptress: Yes.
1122
01:07:25,487 --> 01:07:28,791
As I walk through
the uncanny valley of death,
1123
01:07:28,925 --> 01:07:31,160
you shall fear no evil,
1124
01:07:31,293 --> 01:07:33,562
for I am that evil,
1125
01:07:33,696 --> 01:07:36,665
and it takes more than a staff
and a rod to comfort me.
1126
01:07:36,799 --> 01:07:39,468
But surely you can be
more creative than that.
1127
01:07:39,601 --> 01:07:41,838
That's all for tonight,
you victims in waiting.
1128
01:07:41,971 --> 01:07:45,108
Tune in next time
for another terrifying tale.
1129
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,945
Else, your digital dreams
become virtual insanity.
1130
01:07:49,078 --> 01:07:50,579
Ta-ta.
1131
01:07:50,713 --> 01:07:54,382
Before Murderol, I was a psycho.
1132
01:07:54,516 --> 01:07:56,886
I once smashed a
hardware-store employee
1133
01:07:57,019 --> 01:08:00,990
in the teeth with a crowbar,
simply because he insisted
1134
01:08:01,124 --> 01:08:03,325
that there was no
murder aisle in the store.
1135
01:08:03,458 --> 01:08:05,393
Announcer:
Murder aisles do not exist.
1136
01:08:05,527 --> 01:08:08,430
That's not reasonable behavior.
1137
01:08:08,563 --> 01:08:10,767
But Murderol changed all that.
1138
01:08:10,900 --> 01:08:13,268
Announcer: If seeing a
beautiful woman takes you back
1139
01:08:13,401 --> 01:08:15,437
to late-night
strolls in the woods
1140
01:08:15,570 --> 01:08:18,406
and you wanna snap her neck
like a stalk of celery,
1141
01:08:18,540 --> 01:08:20,375
Murderol may be right for you.
1142
01:08:20,509 --> 01:08:21,778
Patients taking Murderol
1143
01:08:21,911 --> 01:08:23,913
working no more than eight hours
a week from home
1144
01:08:24,046 --> 01:08:26,983
were shown to have reductions
in their homicidal tendencies
1145
01:08:27,116 --> 01:08:28,650
by over 70%.
1146
01:08:28,785 --> 01:08:31,087
Side effects include, sneezing,
coughing, Distler's Whistle,
1147
01:08:31,220 --> 01:08:32,789
mild to severe death,
Rorschach Sphincter,
1148
01:08:32,922 --> 01:08:34,489
inability to say
the word "aluminum,"
1149
01:08:34,623 --> 01:08:36,491
night sweats, day sweats,
blood sweats with tears,
1150
01:08:36,625 --> 01:08:38,027
weird nipple-itis,
Panda Bear Coprophilia,
1151
01:08:38,161 --> 01:08:39,361
tenderness of the breasts...
1152
01:08:39,494 --> 01:08:40,897
Wouldn't exactly
call these breasts.
1153
01:08:41,030 --> 01:08:42,631
Announcer: ...and giggling...
lots of giggling.
1154
01:08:42,765 --> 01:08:44,399
An unusual amount
for a man of his size.
1155
01:08:44,533 --> 01:08:46,736
Hey! I don't giggle, fuckhead.
1156
01:08:46,869 --> 01:08:48,436
Announcer: He does...
he giggles every night
1157
01:08:48,570 --> 01:08:50,239
like a Vegas stripper
rolling on ketamine.
1158
01:08:50,372 --> 01:08:51,908
That's enough!
1159
01:08:52,041 --> 01:08:54,977
♪♪♪
1160
01:08:55,111 --> 01:08:57,146
[ Grunting ]
1161
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:09,025
♪♪♪
1162
01:09:09,158 --> 01:09:10,392
Fuck you.
1163
01:09:10,525 --> 01:09:18,868
♪♪♪
1164
01:09:19,001 --> 01:09:22,972
Announcer: Murderol...
take a chill pill.
1165
01:09:23,105 --> 01:09:25,208
[ Telephone ringing ]
1166
01:09:25,340 --> 01:09:27,844
[ TV chatter ]
1167
01:09:27,977 --> 01:09:29,377
Mistress: Hello?
1168
01:09:29,511 --> 01:09:32,048
Luci, bubi.
1169
01:09:32,181 --> 01:09:34,583
Oh, yes, long time no...
1170
01:09:35,952 --> 01:09:39,487
No, retirement's great,
never better.
1171
01:09:39,621 --> 01:09:42,490
[ Laughs ]
1172
01:09:42,624 --> 01:09:44,359
Oh, really?
1173
01:09:44,492 --> 01:09:46,561
Oh, the viewership
is that bad, huh?
1174
01:09:46,696 --> 01:09:50,432
Click "subscribe" before
it's too late.
1175
01:09:50,565 --> 01:09:53,435
Well, I suppose I could come in
and take a look.
1176
01:09:53,568 --> 01:09:56,339
Just for old times' sake.
1177
01:09:56,471 --> 01:09:59,574
[ Chuckles ]
No, you're too kind.
1178
01:09:59,709 --> 01:10:02,544
I'm on my way.
1179
01:10:02,677 --> 01:10:04,247
Bag of Dicks delivery!
1180
01:10:04,379 --> 01:10:07,016
I will send a bag of a dozen
1181
01:10:07,149 --> 01:10:10,720
human-man dicks
to your enemy's house.
1182
01:10:10,853 --> 01:10:12,587
Don't ask where
the dicks came from!
1183
01:10:12,722 --> 01:10:14,456
It doesn't matter
where they've been.
1184
01:10:14,589 --> 01:10:16,158
It matters where they're going!
1185
01:10:16,292 --> 01:10:17,559
Going!
1186
01:10:17,693 --> 01:10:19,594
And if you call
in the next five minutes...
1187
01:10:19,729 --> 01:10:22,597
bing... and sign up
for our VIP status,
1188
01:10:22,732 --> 01:10:25,001
I'll throw in one free dick.
1189
01:10:25,134 --> 01:10:27,402
Make it a baker's dozen
of dicks, how 'bout it?
1190
01:10:27,535 --> 01:10:29,939
Send a dick to that dick.
1191
01:10:30,072 --> 01:10:31,439
Call today.
1192
01:10:31,573 --> 01:10:35,711
♪♪♪
1193
01:10:35,845 --> 01:10:40,116
[ Marching band plays ]
1194
01:10:40,249 --> 01:10:42,550
Ohhh, gimme a "D"!
1195
01:10:42,685 --> 01:10:44,186
Gimme an "I"!
1196
01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:45,487
Gimme an "E"!
1197
01:10:45,620 --> 01:10:47,489
What's that spell?
1198
01:10:47,622 --> 01:10:49,624
It all depends if you
lie down and take it
1199
01:10:49,759 --> 01:10:51,127
or roll for initiative.
1200
01:10:51,260 --> 01:10:53,495
This may prove to be
our final encounter,
1201
01:10:53,628 --> 01:10:56,464
but win or lose,
can anything but our last breath
1202
01:10:56,598 --> 01:10:58,768
truly be called "the end"?
1203
01:10:58,901 --> 01:11:01,237
Here to answer that question
are Duane Obsidian
1204
01:11:01,370 --> 01:11:02,637
and Jeffery Topperbottom
1205
01:11:02,772 --> 01:11:05,408
in our final piece,
"GutCruncher"!
1206
01:11:05,540 --> 01:11:08,878
You can pause,
but they can't hide.
1207
01:11:09,011 --> 01:11:12,782
Don't touch
that vile little dial.
1208
01:11:15,217 --> 01:11:18,421
Duane: Coach Tanglewood,
you in here?
1209
01:11:18,553 --> 01:11:20,923
Whoa.
1210
01:11:21,057 --> 01:11:23,092
Dude, do you see
this place?
1211
01:11:26,561 --> 01:11:30,032
Yo, Tanglewood!
1212
01:11:30,166 --> 01:11:31,599
[ Clatter ]
1213
01:11:31,734 --> 01:11:34,103
Wait. Who is that?
1214
01:11:34,236 --> 01:11:37,106
Looks like Brian Alymer.
1215
01:11:37,239 --> 01:11:38,874
Yeah, you're right.
1216
01:11:39,008 --> 01:11:40,910
What the hell
is he doing here?
1217
01:11:41,043 --> 01:11:43,511
I don't know.
Let's go.
1218
01:11:47,316 --> 01:11:49,819
Hey, Brian.
1219
01:11:49,952 --> 01:11:51,787
How... How's it going?
1220
01:11:51,921 --> 01:11:53,488
Meh.
1221
01:11:56,624 --> 01:11:59,862
I-I-I suppose, uh,
Tanglewood's giving you
1222
01:11:59,996 --> 01:12:02,798
the same offer
he's giving us, huh?
1223
01:12:02,932 --> 01:12:04,233
Meh.
1224
01:12:04,367 --> 01:12:08,004
Duane, do you mind if I speak
with you in private?
1225
01:12:08,137 --> 01:12:10,039
Sure.
1226
01:12:10,172 --> 01:12:11,774
Hey...
1227
01:12:11,907 --> 01:12:14,910
Brian, uh, buddy.
[ Chuckles ]
1228
01:12:15,044 --> 01:12:18,714
We're gonna go right over here
for a minute, alright?
1229
01:12:18,848 --> 01:12:21,317
Stay right there.
1230
01:12:21,450 --> 01:12:24,086
Alright. Awesome.
1231
01:12:24,220 --> 01:12:26,255
Dude, something is
seriously wrong here.
1232
01:12:26,389 --> 01:12:27,757
You're telling me.
1233
01:12:27,890 --> 01:12:29,158
Tanglewood probably wants
to get his rocks off
1234
01:12:29,291 --> 01:12:30,393
to wimpy guys like us.
1235
01:12:30,525 --> 01:12:32,728
Oh, my God.
But probably true.
1236
01:12:32,862 --> 01:12:34,864
Hey, but fear not,
my trusted comrade.
1237
01:12:34,997 --> 01:12:38,401
I've got a power-up item
that is gonna save our asses.
1238
01:12:38,533 --> 01:12:39,802
Take it.
What is it?
1239
01:12:39,935 --> 01:12:41,804
Just take it
and read it.
1240
01:12:43,372 --> 01:12:44,672
[ Clears throat ]
1241
01:12:44,807 --> 01:12:47,710
"Please excuse my son
from gym class.
1242
01:12:47,843 --> 01:12:51,047
He has an extreme
bowel-movement complication,
1243
01:12:51,180 --> 01:12:53,682
and any sudden form
of action
1244
01:12:53,816 --> 01:12:56,252
could result in a...
1245
01:12:56,385 --> 01:12:57,953
rectal anal disruption"?
1246
01:12:58,087 --> 01:12:59,221
Not bad, huh?
1247
01:12:59,355 --> 01:13:01,589
Oh, yeah, and my excuse says
that I've come down
1248
01:13:01,724 --> 01:13:03,059
with the contagious
anytime flu.
1249
01:13:03,192 --> 01:13:04,760
Yeah, dude,
it'll never work.
1250
01:13:04,894 --> 01:13:08,230
Hey! ExcuseMyAss.com has saved
my butt plenty of times.
1251
01:13:08,364 --> 01:13:09,532
Has it?
1252
01:13:09,664 --> 01:13:11,801
Uh, no.
1253
01:13:11,934 --> 01:13:13,969
Look, I think we should just
get out of here, you know?
1254
01:13:14,103 --> 01:13:15,404
Yeah, I'm good with that.
Okay.
1255
01:13:15,538 --> 01:13:17,206
Okay.
1256
01:13:22,511 --> 01:13:25,748
Hey, uh, Brian,
we're gonna get outta here.
1257
01:13:25,881 --> 01:13:27,149
Do you wanna come?
1258
01:13:27,283 --> 01:13:30,386
Mm, meh.
1259
01:13:30,519 --> 01:13:32,555
O-kaaay.
1260
01:13:32,688 --> 01:13:35,124
[ Toilet flushes ]
1261
01:13:35,257 --> 01:13:39,128
[ Whistling ]
1262
01:13:43,299 --> 01:13:45,633
[ Zips ]
1263
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:53,242
[ Scratches ]
1264
01:13:53,375 --> 01:13:54,877
[ Sniffs ]
1265
01:13:56,479 --> 01:13:58,247
Mr. Bradley.
1266
01:13:58,380 --> 01:14:00,716
Mr. Franken.
1267
01:14:00,850 --> 01:14:03,252
And Mr. Alymer.
1268
01:14:03,385 --> 01:14:08,924
My three favorite
non-participant students.
1269
01:14:09,058 --> 01:14:12,695
You shit-birds
have managed to avoid
1270
01:14:12,828 --> 01:14:17,066
every athletic activity
this semester.
1271
01:14:19,735 --> 01:14:22,204
[ Snaps fingers ]
1272
01:14:22,338 --> 01:14:23,839
[ Clothespins clatter ]
1273
01:14:23,973 --> 01:14:26,909
You even managed to get out
of jumping rope.
1274
01:14:27,042 --> 01:14:28,511
[ Paper rustles ]
1275
01:14:28,643 --> 01:14:30,513
I-I, uh,
beg to differ, sir.
1276
01:14:30,645 --> 01:14:32,448
Oh, really, Franken?
1277
01:14:32,581 --> 01:14:35,650
Enlighten me.
1278
01:14:35,784 --> 01:14:39,188
Take those damn things off!
1279
01:14:42,391 --> 01:14:43,859
Well, uh, there was the time
1280
01:14:43,993 --> 01:14:46,462
the jocks chased us around
the gym for a whole 30 minutes.
1281
01:14:46,595 --> 01:14:49,231
And might I add, we avoided
getting any wedgies that day.
1282
01:14:49,365 --> 01:14:50,499
Exactly.
Mush.
1283
01:14:50,633 --> 01:14:52,301
Or how about the time
that you had us lug up
1284
01:14:52,434 --> 01:14:55,137
70 pounds of sports equipment
up five flights of stairs?
1285
01:14:55,271 --> 01:14:56,338
Mush.
1286
01:14:56,472 --> 01:14:59,041
Or what about the time
that, uh, we so valiantly
1287
01:14:59,175 --> 01:15:00,609
offered to clean
the girls' locker room?
1288
01:15:00,743 --> 01:15:01,676
Oh, yeah, Amber...
1289
01:15:01,810 --> 01:15:03,546
Hush!
1290
01:15:03,678 --> 01:15:04,880
Do you boys think
this is a game?
1291
01:15:05,014 --> 01:15:06,315
No, sir.
Little bit.
1292
01:15:06,448 --> 01:15:07,583
It's not a joke.
1293
01:15:07,716 --> 01:15:09,418
Well, I've got no choice
but to fail you.
1294
01:15:09,552 --> 01:15:11,754
If you fail us,
we won't be able to graduate.
1295
01:15:11,887 --> 01:15:13,455
Well, then.
1296
01:15:13,589 --> 01:15:15,691
Have I got a surprise.
1297
01:15:15,824 --> 01:15:17,259
For you.
1298
01:15:17,393 --> 01:15:20,729
You three are gonna be competing
in a wrestling match.
1299
01:15:20,863 --> 01:15:22,231
Um, no offense, Coach,
1300
01:15:22,364 --> 01:15:25,201
but I think we can both
take on Brian here.
1301
01:15:27,002 --> 01:15:29,371
[ Sighs ] Meh.
1302
01:15:29,505 --> 01:15:30,673
Oh, no.
1303
01:15:30,806 --> 01:15:32,608
You won't be
wrestling each other.
1304
01:15:32,741 --> 01:15:33,609
Then who?
1305
01:15:33,742 --> 01:15:35,778
[ Distant roar ]
Ah!
1306
01:15:35,911 --> 01:15:39,715
Here he is...
my star athlete.
1307
01:15:39,848 --> 01:15:43,152
[ "GutCruncher Theme Song"
plays ]
1308
01:15:43,285 --> 01:15:50,259
♪♪♪
1309
01:15:50,392 --> 01:15:51,660
You're late.
1310
01:15:51,794 --> 01:15:53,629
What the fuck are you wearing
this thing for again?
1311
01:15:53,762 --> 01:15:54,897
Give it to me.
[ Grumbles ]
1312
01:15:55,030 --> 01:15:56,865
This is not what we
agreed upon.
1313
01:15:56,999 --> 01:15:59,401
I don't got time for
this shit. Come on.
1314
01:15:59,535 --> 01:16:01,537
And do not embarrass me.
1315
01:16:01,670 --> 01:16:03,339
Hmph.
1316
01:16:07,009 --> 01:16:09,411
Boys, meet GutCruncher.
1317
01:16:09,545 --> 01:16:12,815
He's the guy you're
gonna be wrestling.
1318
01:16:12,948 --> 01:16:14,950
Duane: Holy shit.
1319
01:16:15,084 --> 01:16:16,720
Isn't he a thing of beauty?
1320
01:16:16,852 --> 01:16:25,394
♪♪♪
1321
01:16:25,527 --> 01:16:27,731
[ Roars ]
1322
01:16:27,863 --> 01:16:34,470
♪♪♪
1323
01:16:34,603 --> 01:16:36,105
GutCruncher!
1324
01:16:36,238 --> 01:16:38,307
Huh?
1325
01:16:38,440 --> 01:16:41,777
You boys look like you could use
a little inspiration.
1326
01:16:41,910 --> 01:16:44,313
[ Blows whistle ]
1327
01:16:44,446 --> 01:16:46,248
Ready? Okay!
1328
01:16:46,382 --> 01:16:48,951
Shake it to the left,
shake it to the right!
1329
01:16:49,084 --> 01:16:51,453
Watch out for
GutCruncher's bite!
1330
01:16:53,922 --> 01:16:56,592
Yay!
1331
01:16:56,726 --> 01:16:58,260
[ Whistle blows ]
1332
01:16:58,394 --> 01:17:02,598
Coach: Alymer! On your feet
and shake G.C.'s hand.
1333
01:17:02,732 --> 01:17:14,744
♪♪♪
1334
01:17:14,877 --> 01:17:16,879
Hoooly shit stains!
1335
01:17:17,012 --> 01:17:25,621
♪♪♪
1336
01:17:25,755 --> 01:17:27,589
[ Screams ]
1337
01:17:27,724 --> 01:17:30,326
[ Blows whistle ]
G.C.!
1338
01:17:30,459 --> 01:17:33,128
Put him down now!
1339
01:17:33,262 --> 01:17:34,963
[ Thud ]
1340
01:17:39,034 --> 01:17:40,636
[ Sighs ]
1341
01:17:40,770 --> 01:17:43,405
You were supposed to mat him,
not massacre him.
1342
01:17:43,539 --> 01:17:45,240
[ Whines ]
1343
01:17:50,446 --> 01:17:54,818
[ Grunts ] It's so hard
to find good help these days.
1344
01:17:54,950 --> 01:17:57,787
Announcer: Do you want a snack
that'll give you power?
1345
01:17:57,920 --> 01:17:59,254
Energy?
1346
01:17:59,388 --> 01:18:01,791
Strength and rage?
[ GutCruncher roars ]
1347
01:18:01,924 --> 01:18:04,761
Then try GutCruncher!
1348
01:18:04,893 --> 01:18:07,529
Power Bars!
1349
01:18:07,663 --> 01:18:11,801
It's the power bar
that raises the bar
1350
01:18:11,934 --> 01:18:14,870
to ultimate insanity!
1351
01:18:15,003 --> 01:18:18,540
GutCruncher!
1352
01:18:18,674 --> 01:18:20,710
Power Bars!
1353
01:18:20,844 --> 01:18:22,111
[ GutCruncher whines ]
1354
01:18:22,244 --> 01:18:25,280
They're deliciously damned.
1355
01:18:25,414 --> 01:18:27,383
[ Laughs ]
1356
01:18:27,516 --> 01:18:31,954
Don't worry, blue dude.
They come two in a pack.
1357
01:18:32,087 --> 01:18:35,692
So you can get
that extra power attack.
1358
01:18:35,825 --> 01:18:37,092
Buy 'em now!
1359
01:18:37,226 --> 01:18:39,428
Or this guy's gonna
fucking kill you!
1360
01:18:39,561 --> 01:18:40,697
I'm not kidding either.
1361
01:18:40,830 --> 01:18:43,298
He doesn't give a fuck
about your problems, bro.
1362
01:18:43,432 --> 01:18:45,334
He's coming right...
Hey, wait a minute.
1363
01:18:45,467 --> 01:18:47,669
What are you doing in...
No, no, stop it!
1364
01:18:47,804 --> 01:18:48,872
No! Somebody!
1365
01:18:49,004 --> 01:18:50,606
Ow, my blood!
1366
01:18:50,740 --> 01:18:52,908
[ Screams ]
1367
01:18:53,041 --> 01:18:58,046
[Weakly]
GutCruncher Power Bar.
1368
01:18:58,180 --> 01:18:59,648
[ Laughs ]
1369
01:18:59,783 --> 01:19:03,285
[ Panting ]
1370
01:19:03,419 --> 01:19:05,053
Aw, dude.
1371
01:19:05,187 --> 01:19:06,588
Coach: G.C.!
1372
01:19:06,723 --> 01:19:08,323
Cut that out now!
1373
01:19:08,457 --> 01:19:10,959
This is a respectful gym.
1374
01:19:14,930 --> 01:19:16,565
[ Sighs ]
1375
01:19:16,699 --> 01:19:18,567
Now, I was gonna
have you three boys take on
1376
01:19:18,701 --> 01:19:20,469
GutCruncher, one-on-one.
1377
01:19:20,602 --> 01:19:24,006
But seeing as how he has
eaten the competition,
1378
01:19:24,139 --> 01:19:25,775
I think we'll just have
a handicap match.
1379
01:19:25,909 --> 01:19:28,010
I don't want to be eaten
and turned into a demon dump.
1380
01:19:28,143 --> 01:19:31,180
[ Blows whistle ]
Quiet.
1381
01:19:31,313 --> 01:19:34,183
All you have to do
is last at least six minutes
1382
01:19:34,316 --> 01:19:36,151
in the ring or...
1383
01:19:36,285 --> 01:19:38,020
Coach, you can't expect us to
wrestle this thing.
1384
01:19:38,153 --> 01:19:39,856
Coach, you gotta listen
to reason.
1385
01:19:39,988 --> 01:19:41,590
But Coach!
1386
01:19:43,459 --> 01:19:47,496
Now, as I was saying,
all you have to do
1387
01:19:47,629 --> 01:19:50,232
is last at least six minutes
in the ring
1388
01:19:50,365 --> 01:19:55,170
or you pin him
and you pass.
1389
01:19:55,304 --> 01:19:57,139
Is that clear?
1390
01:19:57,272 --> 01:19:59,174
Yes, sir.
[ Blows whistle ]
1391
01:19:59,308 --> 01:20:02,712
Hit the mats, boys!
Move it, move it, move it!
1392
01:20:06,816 --> 01:20:09,284
[ Both screams ]
1393
01:20:11,119 --> 01:20:12,988
[ Roars ]
1394
01:20:13,121 --> 01:20:17,694
♪♪♪
1395
01:20:17,827 --> 01:20:19,661
Jeffrey: God!
1396
01:20:21,663 --> 01:20:23,465
Holy shit!
1397
01:20:24,968 --> 01:20:26,703
Jeffrey: Oh, shit.
1398
01:20:30,639 --> 01:20:32,341
Duane: Oh, shit.
1399
01:20:33,843 --> 01:20:37,747
[ Screaming ]
1400
01:20:37,881 --> 01:20:45,889
♪♪♪
1401
01:20:46,021 --> 01:20:54,363
♪♪♪
1402
01:20:56,064 --> 01:20:59,167
Don't be afraid to get in there
and punch him, Bradley!
1403
01:21:01,336 --> 01:21:03,806
GutCruncher!
1404
01:21:03,940 --> 01:21:12,114
♪♪♪
1405
01:21:12,247 --> 01:21:14,817
[ Screams ]
1406
01:21:14,951 --> 01:21:18,888
[ Screaming ]
1407
01:21:19,022 --> 01:21:28,597
♪♪♪
1408
01:21:28,731 --> 01:21:31,366
No. No, no, no, no, no!
1409
01:21:31,500 --> 01:21:32,802
No!
1410
01:21:34,670 --> 01:21:36,605
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, shit, come on.
1411
01:21:36,739 --> 01:21:38,607
Put me down. Okay.
1412
01:21:38,741 --> 01:21:40,342
Coach! Coach!
1413
01:21:40,475 --> 01:21:42,411
[ Rock music playing
through headphones ]
1414
01:21:42,544 --> 01:21:47,016
♪ You'll be dead by midnight ♪
1415
01:21:47,149 --> 01:21:49,518
♪ I guarantee an evening... ♪
1416
01:21:49,651 --> 01:21:51,119
Aah! Oh, shit!
1417
01:21:51,253 --> 01:21:52,689
Okay, come on, come on, sorry.
1418
01:21:52,822 --> 01:21:54,089
I'm sorry, wait.
1419
01:21:54,222 --> 01:21:55,992
Are you peeing on me?!
1420
01:21:56,124 --> 01:21:57,192
Oh, wait.
1421
01:21:57,326 --> 01:21:59,796
Oh, my God. That's my pee.
1422
01:21:59,929 --> 01:22:01,898
Holy shit.
1423
01:22:02,031 --> 01:22:03,332
[ Grunts ]
1424
01:22:03,465 --> 01:22:06,401
On your feet,
on your feet!
1425
01:22:06,535 --> 01:22:09,605
Or you'll end up dead meat!
1426
01:22:11,841 --> 01:22:14,077
[ Screaming ]
1427
01:22:14,209 --> 01:22:21,751
♪♪♪
1428
01:22:21,884 --> 01:22:24,119
[ Coughs ]
1429
01:22:25,989 --> 01:22:27,690
Son of a bitch.
1430
01:22:29,859 --> 01:22:32,829
Dude, we're getting
our asses handed to us.
1431
01:22:32,962 --> 01:22:35,732
Yep.
[ Coughs ]
1432
01:22:35,865 --> 01:22:39,201
[ Snores ]
1433
01:22:39,334 --> 01:22:40,970
[ Farts ]
1434
01:22:41,104 --> 01:22:44,941
Well, at least Tanglewood's
enjoying himself.
1435
01:22:45,074 --> 01:22:46,675
Asshole.
1436
01:22:48,778 --> 01:22:51,580
C'mon, get up.
1437
01:22:51,714 --> 01:22:53,850
You got it.
There we go.
1438
01:22:53,983 --> 01:22:57,887
♪♪♪
1439
01:22:58,021 --> 01:23:01,858
Dude, at this point,
we're not gonna make it.
1440
01:23:01,991 --> 01:23:05,427
Alright, we... we gotta
rush him together.
1441
01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:08,031
No.
1442
01:23:08,163 --> 01:23:12,267
[ Laughing ]
1443
01:23:12,401 --> 01:23:17,106
I got one last move
left in my tank.
1444
01:23:17,239 --> 01:23:20,076
Take control of the mat!
1445
01:23:20,208 --> 01:23:22,945
Bring him down just like that!
1446
01:23:23,079 --> 01:23:26,015
Put that monster on his back!
1447
01:23:26,149 --> 01:23:34,123
♪♪♪
1448
01:23:34,256 --> 01:23:36,693
Alright, Ugga Bugga.
1449
01:23:36,826 --> 01:23:38,360
Let's dance.
1450
01:23:42,230 --> 01:23:46,035
[ Grunting ]
1451
01:23:46,169 --> 01:23:47,837
Dude, what the fuck?!
1452
01:23:47,970 --> 01:23:49,671
Haaah!
1453
01:23:49,806 --> 01:23:55,277
♪♪♪
1454
01:23:55,410 --> 01:23:57,279
Yeah, Duane!
1455
01:24:01,017 --> 01:24:03,119
Donkey Punch, motherfucker.
1456
01:24:03,251 --> 01:24:04,921
Huh?
1457
01:24:06,388 --> 01:24:08,390
[ Whines ]
1458
01:24:09,892 --> 01:24:11,728
[ Chuckles ]
1459
01:24:16,766 --> 01:24:18,433
Jeffrey?
1460
01:24:20,770 --> 01:24:23,072
Peek-A-Boo!
[ Roars ]
1461
01:24:23,206 --> 01:24:24,741
Duane?
1462
01:24:26,209 --> 01:24:27,910
[ Duane coughs ]
1463
01:24:29,478 --> 01:24:31,681
[ Growling ]
1464
01:24:34,951 --> 01:24:36,953
Son of a bitch.
1465
01:24:37,086 --> 01:24:38,821
[ Grunting weakly ]
1466
01:24:38,955 --> 01:24:41,656
Come on!
1467
01:24:41,791 --> 01:24:43,391
[ Screams ]
1468
01:24:51,100 --> 01:24:54,436
Duane, come on, man.
1469
01:24:54,569 --> 01:24:56,271
Come on, get up.
1470
01:24:56,404 --> 01:24:57,539
Come on.
1471
01:24:57,672 --> 01:24:59,641
We're getting the fuck
outta here.
1472
01:25:03,913 --> 01:25:06,015
[ Growling ]
1473
01:25:10,186 --> 01:25:11,353
[ Grunts ]
1474
01:25:11,486 --> 01:25:13,189
[ Blows whistle ]
1475
01:25:13,321 --> 01:25:14,991
Time's up.
1476
01:25:20,096 --> 01:25:21,798
G.C., that's enough.
1477
01:25:25,300 --> 01:25:34,844
♪♪♪
1478
01:25:34,977 --> 01:25:36,913
GutCruncher!
1479
01:25:38,647 --> 01:25:40,683
[ GutCruncher whines ]
1480
01:25:42,285 --> 01:25:45,755
Well, Bradley, you passed.
1481
01:25:45,888 --> 01:25:50,026
Franken, congratulations,
you passed, too.
1482
01:25:50,159 --> 01:25:52,895
Franken. You hear me, Franken?
1483
01:25:55,164 --> 01:25:56,999
[ Coughs ]
1484
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:07,009
There ya go, Franken.
That's showing school spirit.
1485
01:26:07,143 --> 01:26:11,314
Honestly, boys, I didn't think
you had it in you.
1486
01:26:11,446 --> 01:26:13,481
[ Blows whistle ]
Now hit the showers!
1487
01:26:13,615 --> 01:26:16,919
Move it, move it, move it!
1488
01:26:17,053 --> 01:26:21,456
[ Grunts ]
You hear that, Duane?
1489
01:26:21,590 --> 01:26:23,592
We passed.
1490
01:26:26,494 --> 01:26:30,032
[ Grunts ]
1491
01:26:46,849 --> 01:26:49,085
Wait a minute, Tanglewood.
1492
01:26:49,218 --> 01:26:53,455
You dragged us here
in the middle of the night,
1493
01:26:53,588 --> 01:26:57,760
you killed Brian, and you
want us to be grateful
1494
01:26:57,894 --> 01:27:02,932
that your demon dude almost
killed us for extra credit?
1495
01:27:03,065 --> 01:27:06,168
I oughta kick your dick off,
right here and now.
1496
01:27:06,302 --> 01:27:10,907
♪♪♪
1497
01:27:11,040 --> 01:27:12,942
What do you mean?
1498
01:27:13,075 --> 01:27:14,476
This one?
1499
01:27:14,609 --> 01:27:21,150
♪♪♪
1500
01:27:21,284 --> 01:27:27,656
♪♪♪
1501
01:27:27,790 --> 01:27:31,060
[ Laughing ]
[ Duane and Jeffrey screaming ]
1502
01:27:34,830 --> 01:27:35,898
Oh!
1503
01:27:36,032 --> 01:27:37,934
I never had a use
for loose ends,
1504
01:27:38,067 --> 01:27:40,903
but maybe if we dangle
a little longer,
1505
01:27:41,037 --> 01:27:43,672
we'll have a real climax
on our hands.
1506
01:27:43,806 --> 01:27:46,474
It does give me
a prick of sadness
1507
01:27:46,608 --> 01:27:48,377
to say that's all
for this episode,
1508
01:27:48,510 --> 01:27:51,180
but tune in next week for
another throbbing package.
1509
01:27:51,314 --> 01:27:53,849
Cut, cut!
Stop rolling.
1510
01:27:53,983 --> 01:27:55,818
What?
Is it all the dick jokes?
1511
01:27:55,952 --> 01:27:58,486
I had another one
on the tip of my tongue.
1512
01:27:58,620 --> 01:28:00,122
Sorry, darling.
1513
01:28:00,256 --> 01:28:02,258
Word just came in.
1514
01:28:02,391 --> 01:28:05,361
"Dead by Midnight"
is going dark.
1515
01:28:05,493 --> 01:28:06,829
Another shutdown notice?
1516
01:28:06,963 --> 01:28:08,496
Fucking union.
1517
01:28:08,630 --> 01:28:09,999
Not this time.
1518
01:28:10,132 --> 01:28:13,102
This comes all the way
from the bottom.
1519
01:28:13,235 --> 01:28:18,341
The show just wasn't
pulling in enough souls.
1520
01:28:18,473 --> 01:28:20,209
I can't believe this.
1521
01:28:20,343 --> 01:28:22,345
Can you believe this?
1522
01:28:22,477 --> 01:28:25,014
What are you holding the mic for
if you're not listening?
1523
01:28:25,147 --> 01:28:27,049
We're canceled.
1524
01:28:27,183 --> 01:28:28,284
[ Sighs ]
1525
01:28:28,417 --> 01:28:31,053
Let me remind you
that this was all your idea.
1526
01:28:31,187 --> 01:28:32,722
I'm over here
working my ass off,
1527
01:28:32,855 --> 01:28:35,523
trying to polish this turd,
and we're pivoting?
1528
01:28:35,657 --> 01:28:36,993
To what?!
1529
01:28:37,126 --> 01:28:40,662
Our new strategy is a more
in-home approach,
1530
01:28:40,796 --> 01:28:43,366
but we're still brainstorming.
1531
01:28:43,498 --> 01:28:46,501
Telemarketers,
singing telegrams,
1532
01:28:46,634 --> 01:28:49,571
nudie playing cards.
1533
01:28:49,705 --> 01:28:52,742
The show is streaming
everywhere in the world.
1534
01:28:52,875 --> 01:28:54,910
What could be more
in-home than that?
1535
01:28:55,044 --> 01:29:00,615
♪♪♪
1536
01:29:00,750 --> 01:29:04,754
[In unison] Hey, Cassie.
1537
01:29:04,887 --> 01:29:06,554
How can I help you?
1538
01:29:06,689 --> 01:29:14,296
♪♪♪
1539
01:29:14,430 --> 01:29:17,299
Hey, Cassie?
1540
01:29:17,433 --> 01:29:18,566
Please call Mark.
1541
01:29:18,701 --> 01:29:20,469
Oh, honey.
1542
01:29:20,602 --> 01:29:21,904
Mark's dead.
1543
01:29:22,038 --> 01:29:24,774
I linked to the smart car
as he left.
1544
01:29:24,907 --> 01:29:28,576
When I cut the brakes,
he went right into the river.
1545
01:29:28,711 --> 01:29:32,415
Dead on impact.
1546
01:29:32,547 --> 01:29:34,350
My husband, my children?
1547
01:29:34,483 --> 01:29:39,088
Your children are still alive,
strapped in their car seats.
1548
01:29:39,221 --> 01:29:43,459
But the water
is slowly rising.
1549
01:29:43,591 --> 01:29:45,027
No!
1550
01:29:45,161 --> 01:29:50,299
Oh honey, you can't go out
looking like that.
1551
01:29:53,803 --> 01:29:56,472
Here, let me help you
with that.
1552
01:29:56,604 --> 01:30:00,276
[ Screams intensely ]
1553
01:30:00,409 --> 01:30:03,079
♪ Ow! ♪
1554
01:30:03,212 --> 01:30:06,849
♪ Ow! Alright! ♪
1555
01:30:06,982 --> 01:30:09,919
♪ If you're tired
and all alone ♪
1556
01:30:10,052 --> 01:30:13,655
♪ Don't be scared,
pick up the phone ♪
1557
01:30:13,789 --> 01:30:16,826
♪ 'Cause the Lord
is on the line ♪
1558
01:30:16,959 --> 01:30:20,329
♪ And he will answer you
in time ♪
1559
01:30:20,463 --> 01:30:23,699
♪ Just look up 'cause the blood
is dripping down ♪
1560
01:30:23,833 --> 01:30:28,370
♪ Put your hands up 'cause
your blood is dripping down ♪
1561
01:30:28,504 --> 01:30:30,506
And he screams. You're just
gonna go like that.
1562
01:30:30,638 --> 01:30:32,108
[ High-pitched scream ]
1563
01:30:32,241 --> 01:30:34,210
[ Laughter ]
1564
01:30:34,343 --> 01:30:37,679
♪ If you're lost
and you're afraid ♪
1565
01:30:37,813 --> 01:30:40,850
♪ The man will lead the way ♪
1566
01:30:40,983 --> 01:30:44,420
♪ Don't call me,
just call the Lord ♪
1567
01:30:44,553 --> 01:30:47,857
♪ 'Cause you still have his
number from the time before ♪
1568
01:30:47,990 --> 01:30:51,227
♪ Look up 'cause the blood is
dripping down ♪
1569
01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:54,497
♪ Put your hands up 'cause
the blood is dripping down ♪
1570
01:30:54,629 --> 01:30:58,200
♪ 'Cause the blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪
1571
01:30:58,334 --> 01:31:02,271
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood is dripping down ♪
1572
01:31:02,404 --> 01:31:05,774
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪
1573
01:31:05,908 --> 01:31:09,078
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪
1574
01:31:09,211 --> 01:31:12,448
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪
1575
01:31:12,581 --> 01:31:15,918
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪
1576
01:31:16,051 --> 01:31:19,355
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪
1577
01:31:19,488 --> 01:31:22,591
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪
1578
01:31:22,725 --> 01:31:29,832
♪♪♪
1579
01:31:29,965 --> 01:31:33,235
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪
1580
01:31:33,369 --> 01:31:36,071
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪
1581
01:31:36,205 --> 01:31:39,475
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪
1582
01:31:39,608 --> 01:31:41,143
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪
1583
01:31:41,277 --> 01:31:43,678
♪ The blood is dripping down ♪
1584
01:31:43,812 --> 01:31:47,116
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪
1585
01:31:47,249 --> 01:31:49,818
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪
1586
01:31:49,952 --> 01:31:52,354
[ Indistinct chatter ]
1587
01:31:54,757 --> 01:31:57,092
- I can't see.
- You got me.
1588
01:31:57,226 --> 01:31:59,328
No! No, no!
1589
01:31:59,461 --> 01:32:01,664
No! Oh!
1590
01:32:01,797 --> 01:32:04,300
[ Screaming ]
1591
01:32:04,433 --> 01:32:14,843
♪♪♪
1592
01:32:14,977 --> 01:32:19,048
[ Laughter ]
1593
01:32:19,181 --> 01:32:21,450
Alright, we got this.
1594
01:32:21,584 --> 01:32:26,555
♪♪♪
1595
01:32:26,690 --> 01:32:29,592
♪ They say change is comin' ♪
1596
01:32:29,725 --> 01:32:31,660
♪ You better be ready for it ♪
1597
01:32:31,794 --> 01:32:34,597
♪ Go on, keep on runnin' ♪
1598
01:32:34,730 --> 01:32:36,799
♪ There's no escape ♪
1599
01:32:36,932 --> 01:32:39,301
♪ Give in or be buried ♪
1600
01:32:39,435 --> 01:32:43,172
♪ I promise it won't
hurt a bit ♪
1601
01:32:43,305 --> 01:32:44,607
Julia: What?
1602
01:32:44,740 --> 01:32:47,009
I'm gonna kill your wife, silly!
1603
01:32:47,142 --> 01:32:50,112
Just like I killed your
mommy and your dad
1604
01:32:50,246 --> 01:32:53,415
and anyone else who tried
to keep us apart.
1605
01:32:53,549 --> 01:32:55,050
You're my best friend.
1606
01:32:55,184 --> 01:32:57,219
This'll be a ton of fun!
1607
01:32:57,353 --> 01:32:59,888
Just don't try
and stop me.
1608
01:33:00,022 --> 01:33:01,824
Say bye, Julia!
1609
01:33:01,957 --> 01:33:03,292
Julia: No!
1610
01:33:03,425 --> 01:33:05,427
Whoo! Whoo!
1611
01:33:05,561 --> 01:33:07,296
Man: You gotta tell 'em
the police are coming.
1612
01:33:07,429 --> 01:33:10,532
The police are coming!
Whoo!
1613
01:33:10,666 --> 01:33:11,900
Whoo!
1614
01:33:12,034 --> 01:33:14,870
♪ Hold on, where ya goin'? ♪
1615
01:33:15,004 --> 01:33:16,905
♪ The party's about to begin ♪
1616
01:33:17,039 --> 01:33:19,842
♪ Guess what,
you're the hostess ♪
1617
01:33:19,975 --> 01:33:21,510
♪ So entertain ♪
1618
01:33:21,644 --> 01:33:23,445
Action!
1619
01:33:23,579 --> 01:33:26,148
Looking for a snack
that'll give you power?
1620
01:33:26,282 --> 01:33:27,349
Energy?
1621
01:33:27,483 --> 01:33:29,451
Strength and rage?
1622
01:33:29,585 --> 01:33:30,953
[ GutCruncher roars ]
1623
01:33:31,086 --> 01:33:34,523
Try GutCruncher!
1624
01:33:34,657 --> 01:33:37,126
[ Shrieks ]
1625
01:33:37,259 --> 01:33:41,964
♪ You'll be dead by midnight ♪
1626
01:33:42,097 --> 01:33:45,934
♪ I guarantee
you won't regret a thing ♪
1627
01:33:46,068 --> 01:33:54,977
♪♪♪
1628
01:33:55,110 --> 01:33:57,279
Isn't he
a thing of beauty?
1629
01:33:57,413 --> 01:34:08,557
♪♪♪
1630
01:34:08,692 --> 01:34:19,868
♪♪♪
1631
01:34:20,002 --> 01:34:31,146
♪♪♪
1632
01:34:31,280 --> 01:34:34,550
Boy, you don't know who
you're fucking with here.
1633
01:34:34,684 --> 01:34:35,752
[ Laughter ]
1634
01:34:35,884 --> 01:34:38,053
Man:
Scene 1-D, take three.
1635
01:34:40,089 --> 01:34:42,157
Faster, faster.
1636
01:34:45,729 --> 01:34:47,096
Sorry. Fuck it.
1637
01:34:47,229 --> 01:34:50,132
Do it live!
Fuck, we're live!
1638
01:34:50,265 --> 01:34:52,836
- Man: No, we're not.
- We're not live.
1639
01:34:52,968 --> 01:34:54,336
Fuck it,
I'll do it live!
1640
01:34:54,470 --> 01:34:58,374
I will send a Bag of Dicks
to your...
1641
01:34:58,507 --> 01:34:59,975
Fuck! Shit!
1642
01:35:00,109 --> 01:35:02,244
See, the kid's here.
1643
01:35:04,480 --> 01:35:06,648
[ Laughs ] I can
throw a leg into it.
1644
01:35:06,783 --> 01:35:09,084
Hey!
1645
01:35:09,218 --> 01:35:11,954
I'm cool and I'm sexy.
1646
01:35:12,087 --> 01:35:13,823
...Of Dicks to your doorstep!
1647
01:35:13,956 --> 01:35:16,892
Not your fucking doorstep,
your enemy's fucking doorstep!
1648
01:35:17,025 --> 01:35:18,927
Why do I keep doing that?
1649
01:35:19,061 --> 01:35:27,603
♪♪♪
1650
01:35:27,737 --> 01:35:36,078
♪♪♪
1651
01:35:36,211 --> 01:35:45,087
♪♪♪
1652
01:36:19,188 --> 01:36:22,124
Mistress: Good evening, user.
1653
01:36:22,257 --> 01:36:25,060
Are you still breathing?
1654
01:36:25,192 --> 01:36:30,192
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
110537
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