Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,947
So you think you
can chug-a-lug, huh?
2
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,348
Uh-huh.
3
00:01:07,384 --> 00:01:09,317
Okay, come on.
4
00:01:11,621 --> 00:01:13,583
And he says, "If I could
do it in my living room,
5
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,652
I wouldn't have to do it
in the back of your cab."
6
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:22,013
Hey, Tony, this guy wants
to chug-a-lug against you.
7
00:01:22,048 --> 00:01:23,999
Oh, yeah? What's the bet?
8
00:01:24,034 --> 00:01:25,100
Fifty.
9
00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:26,168
Fifty dollars?!
10
00:01:27,404 --> 00:01:28,548
Hey, we'll all chip in.
11
00:01:28,572 --> 00:01:29,337
Come on, ante up,
you guys. Ten each?
12
00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:32,007
A pitcher of beer and two mugs!
13
00:01:32,042 --> 00:01:33,219
Okay, here's my ten.
14
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:34,342
Alex?
15
00:01:34,377 --> 00:01:35,593
How do you feel, Tony?
16
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:36,495
Thirsty.
17
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,024
I'm in for ten. That's
good enough for me.
18
00:01:38,048 --> 00:01:39,693
All right. Here we go.
19
00:01:39,717 --> 00:01:41,883
Okay, we got our bet.
20
00:01:41,919 --> 00:01:43,685
There's my 50.
21
00:01:43,721 --> 00:01:45,020
Excuse me, Alex.
22
00:01:45,055 --> 00:01:46,355
Oh, sure.
23
00:01:46,390 --> 00:01:49,591
So, they say after
divorce your life is empty
24
00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:53,528
and here I am watching
a chug-a-lug contest.
25
00:01:53,564 --> 00:01:56,331
Ready?
26
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,634
One... two... three... start.
27
00:02:04,174 --> 00:02:06,808
Any time, gentlemen.
28
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,536
Let's get out of here.
29
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,839
I don't want to be
around when he belches.
30
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,920
Oh, come on, let's
forget it... I'm buying.
31
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:24,954
Same ol' rounds. Okay.
32
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,962
What'll you have, John?
33
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,014
John?
34
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:30,983
Hmm?
35
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,317
What is it?
36
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:33,818
It's that girl.
37
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,155
Which one?
38
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,157
You don't have to ask, do you?
39
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,892
No, I guess not.
40
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,460
The blonde.
41
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,945
No.
42
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:45,914
The one with the white blouse?
43
00:02:45,949 --> 00:02:47,249
No.
44
00:02:47,284 --> 00:02:49,067
Oh, the other one.
45
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,819
See? You picked her out.
46
00:02:50,854 --> 00:02:52,832
It's just that I've never
felt this way before.
47
00:02:52,856 --> 00:02:54,623
I mean, this is the first time
48
00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:57,626
a girl sitting across
from me in a bar
49
00:02:57,661 --> 00:02:59,294
has gotten me all excited.
50
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:01,313
What do you think, Alex?
51
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,525
I don't think you
have to announce
52
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,983
everything that's
happening in your body.
53
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,102
You like her, go
over and talk to her.
54
00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:07,986
Just like that?
55
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:08,803
Sure.
56
00:03:08,839 --> 00:03:11,439
What would I say if I did?
57
00:03:11,475 --> 00:03:13,958
Say hello.
58
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,294
No, I couldn't say that.
59
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,629
I mean
60
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,299
I never know
what to say to girls.
61
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,412
I don't know, I just
can't seem to get started.
62
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,769
Ah, just forget it.
63
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,437
Okay.
64
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:28,790
Okay, I'm going to
do you a big favor
65
00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:31,393
and I hope you appreciate it.
66
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,094
What's the favor?
67
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:37,799
I'm going to give
you the perfect line.
68
00:03:37,834 --> 00:03:40,034
Works every time, instantly
69
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:43,071
and with devastating results.
70
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,626
Here's what you do.
71
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,862
You walk up to her,
tap her on the shoulder,
72
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,916
and when she turns around,
you say: "Why waste time?
73
00:03:54,951 --> 00:03:56,934
Let's get married."
74
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,989
I think that should do it.
75
00:04:01,024 --> 00:04:04,876
It's witty, it's entertaining,
and it's got "married" in it.
76
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:09,147
The line has everything.
77
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,949
Hey, you know, I
got a better one.
78
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:12,934
What?
79
00:04:12,970 --> 00:04:14,936
You go up and you say:
80
00:04:14,972 --> 00:04:17,349
"Let's cut the preliminaries...
81
00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:19,340
You want to get married?"
82
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,526
Hey, you know, that is better.
83
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,294
Shorter anyway.
84
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:26,815
We just improved
on the wheel, man.
85
00:04:28,419 --> 00:04:30,118
A good line really helps a lot.
86
00:04:30,154 --> 00:04:31,719
So?
87
00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:32,954
Nah...
88
00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:36,140
John, there's a time when
you either do it or you forget it.
89
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:37,458
You're absolutely right, Alex.
90
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:38,994
Let's forget it.
91
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,079
I can't forget it.
92
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:41,913
Just do it.
93
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:42,897
Just be sweet.
94
00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,193
Real nice.
95
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,516
Get it right.
96
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,251
Just smooth. Smooth.
97
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,069
Yes?
98
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,772
Let's cut the preliminaries.
99
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,208
You want to get married?
100
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:15,947
Sure.
101
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,599
What?!
102
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,770
I was sitting over there and
I wanted to talk to you, and...
103
00:05:21,805 --> 00:05:24,906
I think there's a couple
of places at the bar.
104
00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:26,924
Do you want to take them?
105
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,871
I thought we were
getting married.
106
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,912
Oh, sure, but not right away.
107
00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:32,247
I mean marriage is important.
108
00:05:32,282 --> 00:05:34,249
It can't just be jumped into.
109
00:05:34,284 --> 00:05:36,101
Oh, I agree; yes.
110
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,446
So, we'll get
married in an hour.
111
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,453
Oh, perfect.
112
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:41,022
Can I buy you that drink now?
113
00:05:41,057 --> 00:05:42,123
Sure.
114
00:05:45,228 --> 00:05:47,229
Author, author.
115
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:50,481
Preliminaries...
that's the word.
116
00:05:57,741 --> 00:06:00,342
He said, "If I didn't
have to do it...
117
00:06:00,377 --> 00:06:01,604
"If I could do it
in my living room,
118
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,663
I wouldn't have to do it in
the backseat of your cab."
119
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,811
I liked that, too.
120
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:16,007
Is it ever going to
happen for me...
121
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,478
or am I just going to spend
the rest of my life alone?
122
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:27,518
Alone... alone...
123
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,769
alone...
124
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,906
How did I get into
this? All I said was,
125
00:06:31,941 --> 00:06:35,776
"I'm going for a beer. Does
anyone want to come?"
126
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,128
Alone.
127
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,780
When I came over,
did you get the feeling
128
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,461
something special
was gonna happen?
129
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,884
Yeah. Me, too.
130
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,199
Wait... before or
after you saw me?
131
00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:49,023
Both, but more after.
132
00:06:49,059 --> 00:06:50,252
Oh, me, too! Me, too.
133
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:51,309
That's so amazing.
134
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:54,262
Ah, Suzanne, is this the
best time you've ever had?
135
00:06:54,298 --> 00:06:56,364
Absolutely.
136
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:58,193
You're not just
saying that, are you?
137
00:06:58,217 --> 00:06:59,896
Or have you really
had a lousy life?
138
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,520
Oh, no.
139
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,505
No, I've had a great life.
140
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:05,890
And this is your best time?
141
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,445
Yeah. Wow! Me, too.
142
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,480
Okay, I want you to take
your time with this next one,
143
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:12,792
'cause it's real
important to me.
144
00:07:12,816 --> 00:07:13,782
Oh.
145
00:07:13,817 --> 00:07:16,177
How do you stand on bowling?
146
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,772
Feet together,
knees slightly bent.
147
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,340
I use a four...
148
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,592
She bowls.
149
00:07:23,627 --> 00:07:25,861
She bowls!
150
00:07:27,997 --> 00:07:30,176
So what do you want to do first,
151
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,445
get married, or go bowling?
152
00:07:32,469 --> 00:07:33,335
Bowling first.
153
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,680
That way, if the
marriage doesn't work,
154
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,204
it won't screw up my game.
155
00:07:39,109 --> 00:07:40,453
Well, so long, you guys.
156
00:07:40,477 --> 00:07:41,654
We're going to go
get married now.
157
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:42,977
Oh, that's nice.
158
00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:44,324
Oh... after bowling. Good night.
159
00:07:44,348 --> 00:07:45,658
Okay. Yeah, yeah, good luck.
160
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:46,981
Good bowling.
161
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:48,350
We're going bowling?
162
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,419
No, we're not going bowling.
163
00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:54,823
Would you mind if I
joined you and had a drink?
164
00:07:54,858 --> 00:07:56,407
No. Sit down.
165
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,882
Thank you. Good night.
166
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,428
Hey, Wheeler!
167
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,297
Hey, Wheeler, come over here.
168
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,631
Do I have to?
169
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,934
Yeah.
170
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,552
We got a complaint...
171
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,522
that one of our drivers
got fresh with a passenger.
172
00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:28,740
Was it you?
173
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,942
Of course not. I don't
do that kind of stuff.
174
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,277
Too bad.
175
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,614
I wanted to find out who it was
176
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,917
so I can give him some
tips from the old expert.
177
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,147
You mean you used to get
fresh with the passengers
178
00:08:41,171 --> 00:08:42,153
when you were a driver?
179
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,256
Only the women.
180
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,992
I used to pull over, turn
around, and ask them
181
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,979
if they'd like to come to
my place for drinks and sex.
182
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:54,231
Oh, yeah, the subtle approach.
183
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,217
Did it work?
184
00:08:56,253 --> 00:08:56,851
Yeah.
185
00:08:56,886 --> 00:08:58,586
I don't believe you, Louie.
186
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,438
Well, not every time.
187
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,607
Exactly how many times?
188
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,026
Once in 2,312 times.
189
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,299
Oh, hi, John.
190
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:12,662
Hey, John! Look who's here.
191
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,687
What have you been doing
the past few days, John?
192
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,405
As if we didn't know.
193
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,341
Hey, stop it! Come on!
194
00:09:20,377 --> 00:09:22,087
You shouldn't be doing this.
195
00:09:22,111 --> 00:09:23,756
Why not? 'Cause I
could pulverize you.
196
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,214
Oh, yeah.
197
00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:28,249
I'm sorry.
198
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,864
I'm just kind of sensitive
about what happened.
199
00:09:31,888 --> 00:09:33,199
Well, what happened?
200
00:09:33,223 --> 00:09:35,451
Remember that
girl I met in the bar?
201
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,286
Yeah? I married her.
202
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,620
You what? Oh, my...! What?!
203
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:39,610
How could you do that?
204
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:40,940
How could you do
something like that?
205
00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:42,175
John, that was just a line.
206
00:09:42,199 --> 00:09:43,609
You weren't supposed to do it.
207
00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:44,877
John, what's the
matter with you?
208
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:46,268
How could you
do a thing like that?
209
00:09:46,303 --> 00:09:47,669
I don't know.
210
00:09:47,704 --> 00:09:49,682
There we were,
bowling and joking
211
00:09:49,706 --> 00:09:52,574
about whoever lost paid
for the marriage license.
212
00:09:52,609 --> 00:09:54,376
The next thing I knew,
213
00:09:54,411 --> 00:09:57,712
we were eloping to Maryland
in her best friend's Volvo.
214
00:09:57,748 --> 00:09:59,141
John, how... John,
did you think?
215
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,133
Did you say to yourself,
"What am I doing?
216
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,701
This has to stop!"
217
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,704
Yeah. Unfortunately,
I didn't say it to her.
218
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,806
It was like some
game of chicken.
219
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,942
Each one of us thinking
the other would call it off.
220
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,412
I kept thinking she'd
brake any minute
221
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:18,383
as we drove through New York,
then through Lincoln Tunnel,
222
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,428
then to New Jersey...
223
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,585
John, do me a favor.
224
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,354
Don't say every landmark
from here to Maryland, okay?
225
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,807
It's all so weird!
226
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,386
It was so terrific
being with her
227
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:29,254
that we were in Maryland
before we knew it.
228
00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:32,263
Yeah, them Volvos are great.
229
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:37,768
Anyhow, this morning, we
applied for the license and...
230
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,248
even bought a couple of rings.
231
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,592
You know, still treating
the whole thing like a joke,
232
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:42,974
you know...
233
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,242
and then we had dinner
234
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:48,629
at this really neat
Maryland McDonalds.
235
00:10:48,665 --> 00:10:49,798
The food's the same
236
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:52,233
but it's served by
people from Maryland.
237
00:10:52,268 --> 00:10:55,937
Then we checked into
this really nice six-dollar
238
00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:57,489
motel...
239
00:10:57,524 --> 00:11:00,208
Hey, John, I hate
to be indelicate,
240
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,293
but, uh... did you?
241
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,894
Oh, no, no.
242
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,896
We were too excited for that.
243
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,667
Anyhow, this morning,
we picked up the license,
244
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,480
and found the
Justice of the Peace...
245
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,238
Even then, I still felt we'd
never go through with it.
246
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,585
When the Justice
of the Peace said,
247
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,794
"Do you take this man
to be your husband?"
248
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:22,797
I was sure that we'd
both laugh like crazy,
249
00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:26,034
or she'd say no, but she didn't.
250
00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:30,505
She said, "I will if he will."
251
00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:31,917
The Justice of the
Peace asked me
252
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,575
if I'd take her as my wife.
253
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,143
I said no!
254
00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:38,713
But somehow it came out yes!
255
00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:43,834
And just like that,
we were married.
256
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,170
I mean, married.
257
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,837
I mean, right away, we both knew
258
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,551
it was the biggest
mistake of our lives.
259
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,108
All the way back, we
only said three words.
260
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,644
She said, "Need gas?"
261
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,380
I said, "Yes."
262
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,767
When we got back to town,
263
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:03,037
I let her off at my
apart... Our apartment...
264
00:12:03,073 --> 00:12:03,872
and there she sits,
265
00:12:03,907 --> 00:12:07,742
the woman Maryland
considers my wife.
266
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,500
I'm married!
267
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,002
I really am!
268
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,371
Alex, what am I going to do?
269
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,705
I'm half crazy.
270
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,374
A conservative estimate.
271
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,708
Just relax.
272
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,745
I know it looks
very bad right now,
273
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,274
but somehow we're
going to figure out a way...
274
00:12:29,298 --> 00:12:31,866
Oh, Burns...
275
00:12:31,902 --> 00:12:35,804
you decided to grace
us with your presence.
276
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:38,440
Well, listen here...
277
00:12:38,475 --> 00:12:41,910
The next time you don't
show up for work for two days,
278
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:42,811
you're fired.
279
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,079
Hey, hey, Louie, the
kid just got married.
280
00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:48,082
Don't yell at him.
281
00:12:48,117 --> 00:12:49,784
Oh, I'm sorry.
282
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:57,992
The next time you don't
show up for work for two days,
283
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,460
you're fired.
284
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:15,442
John, you got to
go home sometime.
285
00:13:15,478 --> 00:13:18,062
I can't. She's there.
286
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:21,332
Mrs. Me.
287
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,703
I don't want to
be married, Alex.
288
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,071
I don't know...
289
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:30,474
It sounds crazy, but in
my mind, it's all connected.
290
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,211
You get married, you have kids,
you grow old, and then you die.
291
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:35,479
Somehow, to me,
292
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:39,083
if you didn't get
married, you wouldn't die.
293
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,205
Hey, Fitz, how you doing?
294
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,506
Ellen... Rudy!
295
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:46,585
Hey, how you doin'?
296
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,542
Hey, Champ, how's it going?
297
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,894
Fine.
298
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,096
You want to risk
your title against me?
299
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,364
How much?
300
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,618
Let's see here...
301
00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:58,352
How about 20 bucks?
302
00:13:58,388 --> 00:14:00,088
You're on.
303
00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:02,306
All right.
304
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,108
Two beers, Rudy.
305
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,694
Hey, Louie.
306
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:09,096
You still owe me
money on your tab.
307
00:14:09,131 --> 00:14:11,115
Oh, yeah, yeah, all right.
308
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,718
Well, come by the garage
this week and I'll give you a tire.
309
00:14:17,807 --> 00:14:19,107
Let's go.
310
00:14:19,142 --> 00:14:20,108
All right, now...
311
00:14:20,143 --> 00:14:22,794
I'll say, "one-two-three, go."
312
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:23,795
All right?
313
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,974
Sure.
314
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,130
One...
315
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,398
two...
316
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,449
three.
317
00:14:28,484 --> 00:14:29,751
Hey, Rudy, did they find
318
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,787
the rest of that rat that
died in the beer keg?
319
00:14:32,822 --> 00:14:33,822
Go.
320
00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:43,548
The new champeen.
321
00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:49,169
Better luck next time, Champ.
322
00:14:52,508 --> 00:14:53,974
Excuse me.
323
00:14:54,009 --> 00:14:56,154
Is this the wedding party?
324
00:14:56,178 --> 00:14:57,811
Louie!
325
00:14:57,847 --> 00:15:00,748
Louie, I never thought I'd
say this, but would you join us?
326
00:15:00,783 --> 00:15:02,015
No, thank you.
327
00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:06,770
John, the little woman
came by the garage tonight.
328
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,290
She left a letter for you.
329
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,474
Well, let's have it.
330
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,810
For a buck.
331
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,446
Hey, the post office
only charges 15 cents.
332
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,766
Yeah, and they're going broke.
333
00:15:18,802 --> 00:15:20,101
Thank you.
334
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:24,271
Not bad... I've been here two
minutes, had a beer, and won $21.
335
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:26,440
Bye-bye.
336
00:15:26,475 --> 00:15:30,778
Oh, by the way, should
I change your W-2 now,
337
00:15:30,814 --> 00:15:34,698
or do you want to see if
you have kids by tonight?
338
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,487
We didn't order drinks.
339
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:46,877
It's on the house.
340
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,846
You know, I got a
"Dear John" once.
341
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,999
Oh, that isn't what this is.
342
00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:55,119
"Dear John..."
343
00:16:00,844 --> 00:16:03,077
You want me to read the letter?
344
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:04,078
Would you?
345
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:05,613
"Dear John,
346
00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:08,716
"I'm leaving you this letter
because I'm ashamed to face you.
347
00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:10,863
"I hate to think of
what you think of a girl
348
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,688
"who runs off and
marries a total stranger.
349
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,739
"I don't know why
350
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:16,857
"I do crazy things
351
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,126
"but I do know
you're too nice a guy
352
00:16:19,162 --> 00:16:21,762
"to be stuck with an
immature nut like me.
353
00:16:21,798 --> 00:16:24,732
Naturally, we'll have
the marriage annulled..."
354
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:26,450
Oh. Oh.
355
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:30,588
"Looking back, it seems
like some bizarre dream.
356
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,089
"Any minute,
357
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,875
"I kept expecting you
would wake me up
358
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,127
"but you didn't and I didn't.
359
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,529
"So we did.
360
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:42,333
"We sure did.
361
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,186
"Right away, I knew it
was a terrible mistake
362
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,937
"and I sensed you did, too.
363
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:50,274
"I've decided to move
back with my folks for awhile,
364
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,276
"try and get my head together.
365
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:55,079
"I hope what happened
wasn't too hard on you.
366
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,347
"I'm sure someday
367
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:59,283
"you'll meet someone
you really want to marry
368
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,368
"and whoever she is, I envy her.
369
00:17:01,403 --> 00:17:04,071
"Anyway, thanks for
a special weekend.
370
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,739
"I'll never forget it.
371
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,791
Or you."
372
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,611
And it's signed, "Your
future ex-wife, Suzanne."
373
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,598
It's a nice letter.
374
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:16,633
I read it nicely.
375
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,574
And now, it looks like your
problems are solved, kid.
376
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,627
Yeah.
377
00:17:26,662 --> 00:17:27,929
You know, Alex,
378
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,932
that's the classiest
letter I ever heard.
379
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,768
Open, honest, sensitive.
380
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,937
Just like she is.
381
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,622
I got to get her back.
382
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:40,007
Help me get her back.
383
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:43,144
I never wanted anybody
back so bad in my life.
384
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,563
Why do I come here so often?
385
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,532
I almost never have a good time.
386
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,368
Yes?
387
00:18:07,403 --> 00:18:08,602
Mr. Caruthers?
388
00:18:08,638 --> 00:18:09,937
Yes.
389
00:18:09,972 --> 00:18:11,772
We're the ones who phoned you.
390
00:18:11,808 --> 00:18:13,023
On the phone.
391
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:16,193
I've been wondering
what that was all about.
392
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,961
Um, can we come in?
393
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:20,548
I guess so.
394
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:23,033
I think you'll have to open
the door a little more than that.
395
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:26,236
I'm sorry, but how do
I know I can trust you?
396
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,272
Come here.
397
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:28,522
Look at him.
398
00:18:28,558 --> 00:18:29,873
Hi.
399
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,375
Okay.
400
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,450
Now, what's this all about?
401
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,852
Mr. Caruthers, my
name is John Burns
402
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:44,154
and this is my
friend, Alex Rieger.
403
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,793
Alex will take over from here.
404
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:52,179
Oh, Mr. Caruthers, um,
has your daughter told you?
405
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,331
Told me about what?
406
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,749
I guess she hasn't told you.
407
00:18:54,784 --> 00:18:57,000
If you tell me what it
is you want to know
408
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,276
whether or not she has told me
409
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,587
then I'll tell you whether
or not she has told me.
410
00:19:00,622 --> 00:19:03,924
I can tell she hasn't told you.
411
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,109
Oh, Mark, I...
412
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,210
Oh, Lillian,
413
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,745
this is Mr. Burns. Rieger.
414
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,758
And this is Mr. Rieger. Burns.
415
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,448
This is my wife,
Mrs... Caruthers.
416
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,416
Yes.
417
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,417
How are you?
418
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,013
Won't you sit down? Thank you.
419
00:19:15,037 --> 00:19:16,904
They're friends of Suzanne.
420
00:19:16,939 --> 00:19:19,084
Oh, yes, well,
Suzanne's in her room.
421
00:19:19,108 --> 00:19:21,742
Oh, could you tell her that
I'm here and maybe I love her?
422
00:19:21,778 --> 00:19:23,110
Sit down.
423
00:19:23,146 --> 00:19:25,345
First, I want to know
what's going on.
424
00:19:27,783 --> 00:19:29,417
Mr. Caruthers...
425
00:19:29,452 --> 00:19:32,431
Mr. Caruthers, do you like to
hear things with the lily gilded,
426
00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:34,266
or straight between the eyes?
427
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,140
Gilded.
428
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:40,043
You see, we've always
tried to instill in our daughter
429
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:44,080
the good grace to conceal
virtually everything from us.
430
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,445
She hasn't told you anything?
431
00:19:46,469 --> 00:19:50,771
Not since 1971.
432
00:19:50,806 --> 00:19:52,050
Well, Mr. and Mrs. Caruthers,
433
00:19:52,074 --> 00:19:52,773
I think you better
brace yourself,
434
00:19:52,808 --> 00:19:54,520
because what I
have to tell you...
435
00:19:54,544 --> 00:19:55,526
Someone come in?
436
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:56,994
I heard the...
437
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,495
Oh, John.
438
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,747
Suzanne.
439
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:00,564
Hold it.
440
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,727
Sit down.
441
00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:04,118
This man is about
to tell us something.
442
00:20:04,153 --> 00:20:06,253
Well, go on, sir.
We're listening.
443
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,055
Oh, uh, yes, um...
444
00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:10,069
You sure you don't
want it straight?
445
00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:11,058
Absolutely.
446
00:20:11,094 --> 00:20:12,059
Right.
447
00:20:12,095 --> 00:20:14,962
Okay, now, let's see, um...
448
00:20:16,398 --> 00:20:18,065
Well, how's this: do you believe
449
00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:19,616
in love at first sight?
450
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:22,536
I believe the notion
of love at first sight
451
00:20:22,572 --> 00:20:26,607
is a debasement of every
moral, spiritual, and ethical value
452
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,842
that I and my family hold dear.
453
00:20:33,849 --> 00:20:36,484
This is no snap.
454
00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:37,996
Well, I have to give
it to you straight then.
455
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,353
This is what happened:
456
00:20:39,389 --> 00:20:40,999
Three nights ago, John
met your daughter in a bar,
457
00:20:41,023 --> 00:20:42,256
they fell in love,
458
00:20:42,292 --> 00:20:43,802
and after looking at each
other countless times,
459
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,706
drove to Maryland
and got married.
460
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:49,330
You were in a bar?
461
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,186
Mark, don't you understand?
462
00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,655
Our daughter is married.
463
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:01,509
And this man is our son.
464
00:21:01,544 --> 00:21:03,143
But they're going
to get divorced.
465
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,545
Oh.
466
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,341
But John wants to
stay married. Oh.
467
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:08,009
But your daughter wants
to get an annulment.
468
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,317
Is this fun for you?
469
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,522
Well, once you get into it.
470
00:21:15,558 --> 00:21:18,842
No, listen... look,
now that we all know,
471
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:21,828
why don't we all just
leave them alone together,
472
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,297
so they could, uh...
473
00:21:23,332 --> 00:21:28,051
Or we could stay and
stare at each other.
474
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:30,487
That's not such a bad idea.
475
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:35,343
I think I've spent too much
time ducking things like this.
476
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,812
Maybe the time has
come to forget my fears
477
00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:40,481
and pay attention
to my daughter.
478
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:43,434
Yes, this is it.
479
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:46,036
The time has come
to stay with her
480
00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,183
and face this thing head-on.
481
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:49,172
Mr. Rieger?
482
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,248
Right.
483
00:22:02,805 --> 00:22:06,756
Suzanne, when we were in
that motel room in Maryland...
484
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:09,693
Hup, that's it!
485
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:10,761
Let's go, Lillian.
486
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,130
Mr. Rieger.
487
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,465
Right.
488
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,167
Take your time, John.
Don't worry about me.
489
00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:19,114
I'll be having fun
standing in the kitchenette
490
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,578
with Mr. and Mrs. Caruthers.
491
00:22:24,826 --> 00:22:26,977
You want to stay married?
492
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,345
I do.
493
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,816
I figured you'd never
want to see me again.
494
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:36,153
Oh... Look, Suzanne,
what happened
495
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,656
was just as much my
fault as it was yours.
496
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,035
You know, I think that's what
497
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,236
brought us both together.
498
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:42,510
We're both crazy.
499
00:22:44,346 --> 00:22:46,775
I just think that,
for some reason,
500
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,867
we had the instinct
to be with each other.
501
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:52,352
Now, I know it
doesn't make sense,
502
00:22:52,388 --> 00:22:54,433
'cause we hardly
know each other,
503
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:57,625
but right now, I'd
rather follow my instinct
504
00:22:57,660 --> 00:22:59,126
and not make sense.
505
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:07,535
Suzanne, will you not
get annulled with me?
506
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,003
No.
507
00:23:10,039 --> 00:23:12,022
Oh, that's terrific.
508
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,135
No! Wait a minute!
509
00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:14,107
No what?
510
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,360
No, I won't get annulled.
511
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,928
I can't believe it.
512
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:19,179
She said, "no."
513
00:23:19,215 --> 00:23:20,464
Oh, oh.
514
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:24,185
Oh, boy, you better
be as nice as you seem.
515
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:26,370
I am.
516
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,833
Hey, let's call your folks.
517
00:23:27,857 --> 00:23:28,973
Oh, Dad, Mom!
518
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:29,974
Alex!
519
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:31,341
What's wrong?
520
00:23:32,895 --> 00:23:35,579
Mr. and Mrs. Caruthers,
521
00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:38,065
I'd like your permission
to marry my wife.
522
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:52,590
Hey, man, you got rid of her.
523
00:23:52,614 --> 00:23:53,580
That's great.
524
00:23:53,615 --> 00:23:54,998
No, we're staying married.
525
00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:57,217
Congratulations,
she's a wonderful girl.
526
00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:32,097
Night, Mr. Walters.35220
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof