Original subtitles

MAN: Hey, Belson, you got cab 2452!

Tony, get out of cab 2452.

We need it.

Harry! 8622-- Wash it!

It's filthy!

Hey, Tony, you get creamed

in your fight last night?

What's it like

having a cauliflower back?

I didn't get creamed.

I lost on the decision.

I'm impressed.

\h\hThe referee decided I was bleeding too much.

Hey, Alex, want to go for breakfast?

No, I can't.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, Alex. Hi, Alex.

Hi. Hi, guys.

\h\hI'm sorry I didn't have anything smaller than a $50

but I only had $150 in the bank

and I took it all out to come to New York,

and they gave me three 50s...

Yeah. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand so, you see...

Look, I'm sorry I had to bring you back here

just to get change.

Oh, are you kidding?

This is the New York \h\h\hkind of thing

I've always dreamed of.

Maybe you want to buy one of our postcards.

Anybody here got change for a $50?

Yeah, I got it.

Hey, had a good night, huh, Alex?

Very funny.

Here you go.

Now, how much was that again?

$4.85.

There's five, and, uh...

This going to take much longer?

I'm sorry. I want to give you a tip.

It's just difficult to figure out

what 15% of $4.85 is when somebody's looking at you.

CABBIES: 73 cents!

No, no pennies, thanks.

No pennies.

Uh, may I use the phone?

I have to find someplace to stay.

Yeah, right there.

Oh.

Uh, do you have...?

Huh? Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, Alex. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYeah.

They called me back \h\h\h\h\hfor Equus.

Oh, you see?

I told you.

Hey, what's Equus?

Hey, don't give me a look like that.

I could ask a question.

A lot of people don't know about that.

It's... a play.

It's a play about a psychiatrist

and a boy who worships horses.

So, before I go in there, I say straight to them:

"Gentlemen, you're looking at the man you're gonna hire."

So that gets their interest up real quick, right?

Oh, yeah. Right, right.

Hey, what part are you trying for?

Listen, soon as I finish over there,

I'll come over here

and I'll tell you everything, okay?

Until then, have a piece of gum.

Oh, thanks.

Why didn't you tell him what part?

Because, Alex, he won't understand.

Try him.

But, Alex, he won't...

Go ahead, try him. Take a chance.

Okay.

I'm up for the part of the horse.

Yeah? Which end?

Gee, this phone is terrific.

Yeah? We hoped you'd like it.

\h\h\h\h\hNo, no, I mean, this plate's broken, see?

You just put your money in, \h\hand it comes right back.

You can call anywhere \h\h\hfor free. Look.

Okay, behind me.

That's right, calm yourselves.

I got here first.

Hey, Alex, don't you want to make a call?

No, I don't have anybody to call.

There's got to be somebody somewhere

you want to call.

No, well, no, not now.

Hello?

Is this the National Theater of London, England?

Yeah. I'd like to speak to Sir Laurence Olivier, please.

Yeah, it's Bobby Wheeler from New York City calling.

No, it's not personal.

I'm an actor, too.

This... is the National Theater of London.

That is a good call.

Hello?

I can't believe it.

\h\h\h\h\hI... I didn't think I could get you on the phone.

Oh, wow.

Laurence Olivier's secretary.

Listen, uh...

\h\h\hDo you think that I could talk to him, please?

Oh. Well, uh...

what's he doing?

Oh, wow.

No kidding?

Taking a curtain call?

Well, don't bother him.

Just... just tell him \h\h\h\hthat a guy...

no... that an actor... \hnamed Bobby Wheeler

just called to say... that...

Yeah. Hey, hey, thanks for listening.

That is a great phone, man.

Hey, Alex, you want to take my turn?

Uh, no, thanks, Tony.

You go ahead.

Well, if you're sure,

I think I'll make a little one myself.

\hOperator. Yeah, I'd like to call Bangkok, Thailand.

Yeah, when I was in Vietnam, \h\h\hI went R&R in Bangkok.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMet a girl I just can't get out of my mind.

Just crazy about her.

Classiest lady I ever met.

\hYes, operator, I want the VIP Massage Parlor.

Okay, I'll deposit the money.

( coins clattering )

Excuse me?

Uh, my name's Elaine Nardo.

They told me to ask for Louie.

\h\h\h\hYes, ma'am. I'm Louie De Palma.

Oh, hi.

I hope there's no trouble.

\h\h\h\hIf there is, I'll be glad to help

in any way I can.

Oh, no, no. It's just \h\hthat they told me

I'd be starting work today \h\h\h\h\h\h\has a driver.

Here's my hack license.

You're a cab driver?

What do you mean

busting my chops here

\h\h\h\h\hmaking believe you're a regular person?

Go wait over there.

I'll call your name and number.

Till then, keep your mouth shut!

What's wrong?

Don't they feed you in there?

Whoo!

Whoo-whoo!

Hey, witty person.

Fill out this form--

and I hope you fill it out

better than you fill out \h\h\h\h\h\hyour pants.

See, we're all fun here.

Now, you mustn't be too upset with Louie, miss.

He's really a very nice guy.

\h\h\h\h\hHe'd give you the scales off his back.

Well, I don't have to worry \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\habout him.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'm only going to be working here part-time.

Oh.

\h\h\h\hI have this other job...

Oh, yeah, yeah. I know.

We're all part-time here.

I'm part-time.

I only work 60 hours a week.

No, really-- I really work

as a receptionist at an art gallery.

Oh, yeah?

No, I'm not really a taxi driver.

No, no, I understand.

You see that guy over there?

Now, he's an actor.

The guy on the phone, he's a prizefighter.

This lady over here, she's a beautician.

The man behind her, \h\h\hhe's a writer.

Me, I'm a cab driver.

I'm the only cab driver \h\h\h\h\hin this place.

Why is everyone here just a little angry?

Hey, it's ringing.

Excuse me, miss.

\h\h\hYou're a very interesting person,

\h\h\hbut I'm not sure you're as interesting

as a massage parlor in Bangkok.

Well, don't be too sure till you know me better.

Oh...

No, no, I'm kidding.

I'm not serious.

I'm all talk, really.

Please. I'm all talk.

Oh, well...

back to the massage parlor.

Hello, this is PFC Tony Banta.

I'm calling from the USA.

I'd like to speak to... \h\h\h\h\h\h\hNumber 12.

She's not, huh?

Hey, is there any way \h\hI could reach her?

Oh. Well, so long.

\hSince the war's over, they only go up to nine.

Hey, was that a crazy call I made?

I mean, do you think number 12 \h\h\h\h\h\hever thinks of me?

How many times you ever see her?

Ten or 20 times.

How long were you in Bangkok?

A day.

Yeah, I think she remembers you.

Hey... hey, Alex, this is fun.

Why don't you make a call?

No...

Come on.

Actually, I was thinking \h\h\hthere for a second

about calling my, uh, my kid.

Hey, I didn't know \h\hyou had a kid!

Oh, well...

Wow! A boy or a girl?

Girl.

\h\h\hHey, Alex, how come you never brought her...?

'Cause I haven't seen her in 15 years.

15 years?!

Yeah, 15 years.

My ex-husband was right.

He's not the worst there is.

Oh, so you made up your mind \h\h\habout me already, huh?

I'm a heel.

I abandoned my daughter

and now you're going \h\hto shun me, huh?

Well, let's put it this way:

\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'd rather be on a desert island with him.

Don't you wish.

Now, wait a minute... Now, wait a minute.

Listen, Miss, uh, Elaine Nardo,

you know, things aren't always \h\h\h\h\has pat as they seem.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDivorced mothers taking care of their children

against incredible odds, \hwhile the men are free

to stay out all night, \h\h\h\h\hjoin a gym,

\h\hand take advantage of girls named Debbie.

Now, look-- my wife, for example.

She married this gentleman from South America.

Moved there with the kid,

and told me that if I really loved my daughter,

I wouldn't contact her

because it would cause too much confusion.

She told me

that if I really wanted \h\hto be a good father,

I would allow this gentleman...

from South America... \h\h\h\hto adopt her.

Show you what a...

how smart I was, I bought it.

I'm sorry about what I said before.

You're not a heel.

You're a jerk.

I accept your apology.

A giant jerk.

Listen, no matter what you agreed to before,

\h\h\hit shouldn't stop you from picking up that phone right now

and calling your daughter.

Leave the man alone.

If he doesn't give a damn about his kid

that's his business.

Hey, now, wait a minute! \h\h\h\h\hWait a minute!

All right, I'll call her!

I'll call her tomorrow

when the line isn't so long.

You are going to feel so much better,

I promise you.

I feel like we're getting \h\hmarried at Annapolis.

Yes, operator, Rio De Janeiro.

Yes, I can hold.

I have no idea what I'm going to say to this kid.

LOUIE: Latka! Where you going?!

Latka, I don't want you hanging around the drivers.

I need you on the third level

to fix the cabs.

( speaking native language )

That's telling him, Latka.

Latka, no, this is a very important phone call.

It's a very bad time for English lessons right now.

Please.

All right, all right. While I'm waiting.

What is it?

Eh... Lesson 12.

Mm.

( haltingly: ) Thank you, chambermaid,

for your excellent service.

I am glad I don't require medical assistance.

Yeah, listen, that, uh, that's...

that's very good, that's very good

but those phrases all have "chambermaid" every other word.

Why don't you take a look at the phrases I wrote in the back of the book?

Here, look: "Get off my back."

"Give me a minute while I go to the can."

Study those.

Yes, operator, I'm here.

"Get off my back."

Uh, Latka... later.

Yes, uh, is Mrs., um--

Oh, what the hell's her name now--

Consuelos there?

Consuelos?

Phyllis Bornstein Consuelos?

Yes, thank you.

( speaking native language )

Yeah, sure.

Bed?

No bed.

No bed?

Thank you very much.

Hello. Hello, Phyllis.

Hello, Phyllis.

Uh...

\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'm not sure I know what to say to you.

Oh, yeah, that would be a good place to start.

Alex Rieger.

Yeah.

Uh... good.

Uh, listen, Phyllis, I was just \h\hthinking about Kathy, uh...

Can I speak to her?

Oh.

When did she leave?

Why Portugal?

Well, that's no answer.

Why is she going to college \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hin Portugal?

What's her major, sardines?

Hey, wait a minute!

That means she'll be coming \h\h\h\h\hthrough New York.

Oh, Miami?

Well, listen, uh...

if you speak to her, \h\htell her I'm...

sorry I missed her.

Wait a minute.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat time will she get into Miami?

If I want to meet her in Miami, \h\h\h\hI'll meet her in Miami.

Well, what time tomorrow?

Okay.

Well, I don't know.

I'll think about it.

I might!

Okay, what?

Flight 936.

Thank you.

Phyllis, just hold on a second.

\h\h\h\hPhyllis, did you ever sort of think about us and...

me neither.

Yeah, okay, right.

So long. Good-bye.

Louie?

Yeah?

I need a cab for the weekend.

I'm going to Miami.

No!

Aw, come on, Louie.

I'm very tight on time. I got to leave now.

No!

Let's take it.

Hold everything!

Okay, I got to get tough with you guys.

We don't let cabs out no more.

Oh, come on, Louie, it's very important.

What about 1621? Nobody wants 1621! \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo!

Hey, hey, hey, can I go along? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYeah, sure.

I don't have anything else to do.

I'll have it back for you by the end of the weekend.

Alex, I run this garage,

and no one takes my cabs for joyrides.

All right.

Come on, let's take it.

Give me a minute while I go to the can.

( grunts )

Thank you very much.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALEX: \hWouldn't it be weird, after all this trouble,

if we got there too late?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTONY: Don't worry about it.

We'll make it.

I once had to be in Miami \hin a hurry for a fight.

I drove it in 23 hours \h\h\h\hall by myself.

Wow, what a drive.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI swallowed a whole handful of uppers.

\h\h\h\hYou know, when the guy knocked me out,

I couldn't close my eyes.

Could I have your ticket and passport please?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo, no. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm looking for someone.

She's supposed to be leaving \h\h\h\h\h\hfrom this gate--

Kathy Consuelos.

She's here.

Oh, my God!

\hWould you like me to page her for you?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo, no, no. If there's anything to genetics

I should be able \hto figure out

which one she is.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJOHN: Well, Alex, good luck.

Okay. Wait over there.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDon't worry, we're not going to leave you.

\h\h\h\hWOMAN ( over P.A. ): National Airlines flight 409 \h\h\h\h\h\hto San Francisco

now departing from gate 28.

Hmm?

Kathy Consuelos?

Yes?

Son of a...

I beg your pardon?

Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI, uh...

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'm... I'm sort of your father.

You're Mr. Rieger?

Yes, right.

Rieger. Right. Yes.

( excited gasp )

Well...

Well...

I've been wondering about you.

Yeah, same here.

There's...

so much time to cover.

( stammering )

15 years...

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( over P.A. ): Iberia flight 936 for Lisbon,

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnow boarding and will depart in five minutes.

\h\h\h\h\h\hThat gives us less than 30 seconds for each year.

We may have to skip the '60s.

Listen, would you like to sit down?

Please.

You know, I was always wondering what you looked like.

Well, I'm much better-looking than this.

You are very pretty.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, we're getting along great.

How did you know I was gonna be here?

Oh, fathers know these things.

Do you know anything about me?

I mean, uh... what have you heard?

Just that you're living up on a ranch in Montana

and you're thinking of running \h\hfor United States Senate.

Oh...

\h\h\h\h\hWell, I got some bad news for you.

I lost the senate race.

No, I think your mother

is trying to make me into much more

of an exciting guy than I am,

but the real story is almost as good.

I'm a New York cab driver.

Well, why wouldn't she want to tell me about that?

Well, I guess she didn't want \h\h\h\h\h\h\hto impress you.

You know, there's so much I want to ask you

and I'm very aware of our time limit here.

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Well, like father, \h\hlike daughter.

Hey, what's wrong?

You really want to know?

Yeah, sure, Kath.

What is it?

You're not going to like it.

Okay. Go ahead.

\h\h\h\hWell, it's just that you keep on saying "father."

You're not my father.

Well, I am sorry. You're not my father.

My father is a man that has raised me

for as long as I can remember.

Hey, come on.

That's not exactly true.

Sure, it is. Exactly true.

Wait a minute.

I... I... I raised you \h\h\h\hfor two years.

I mean that's not long

but at least I got two years.

You must remember some of that time.

\h\h\hYou mean you remember something from 15 years ago?

Yes, of course.

Like what?

Well, um... like the fact

\hthat when you were born, the doctor had to turn you

so you could get out \h\h\hthe right way.

Life started right there.

\h\hLike the fact that you used to look annoyed at me

\h\hwhen I gave you a 2:00 a.m. feeding

\h\h\hand I couldn't figure out why it was you who was annoyed.

You hardly crawled.

You went right to walking.

You used to sneeze like a cat.

( high-pitched sneezing )

I even remember your favorite \h\h\h\h\hfood: strained peas.

Yeah, you used to send it back \h\h\hif you got chopped peas.

I remember your favorite joke:

Got your nose.

Which is no longer your favorite joke.

Listen, Kathy...

you can rap me for a lot:

copping out...

telling myself that I was letting you out of my life

for your good, when the truth is

I was looking for the easy way out myself.

So, please, don't tell me

that I don't remember the experience

of having a daughter for two years.

I mean, please, don't tell me that, because I really do.

( voice breaking ): I remember.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( over P.A. ): Iberia flight 936 for Lisbon

final boarding at gate 10.

Hey, listen, uh...

when you wear your bag over your shoulder

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\halways wear it with the clasp on the inside.

It's safer that way.

All right.

And don't trust guys who wear scarves over here.

Don't trust guys who go too far down

with the buttons on their shirt.

And don't trust guys who wear too much

religious stuff around their neck.

I mean, uh, don't trust guys.

Hey, uh...

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, listen, in case you want to write, uh..

here.

Uh, here's something with my address on it.

Oh.

But it's your driver's license.

Oh.

Aw, go ahead.

That way you can have a picture of me, too.

Well, listen, so long.

I mean, it was nice talking to you.

Same here.

( laughs )

I think I have your smile.

Yeah? That's funny.

I just got it two seconds ago.

Well...

Listen, you better go.

Hey, Alex, your daughter...

she's beautiful.

Yeah, well, thank you.

( crying )

( all groaning )

Well, it was sweet while it lasted.

Hey, everybody.

Guess what?

I got my hack license.

( laughs )

Oh, boy.

You miss Rona Barrett \h\h\h\h\hone morning,

you lose touch.

Bobby...

I didn't expect to see you here.

I thought you got that job on Equus.

No, uh...

they went another way.

Nah, it's cool, you know?

No, really...

it's cool.

It's cool.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, we got a lot of cabs here.

Rieger, 214.

Banta, 8367.

Nardo, 1532.

Wheeler, 999.

Not 999!

Hey, Gravas!

Fix the horn on 816.

Hey, Burns...

Bring your license here.

All right.

( theme music playing )

WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters.

( grunts )