Original subtitles

And now,Death Valley Days.

♪♪ [ trumpet ]

Hyah! Yah!

Yah! Yah!

Howdy, folks. I'’m the Old Ranger,

and I have another interesting true story for you

about the historic Death Valley country.

For our story tonight, we go back to the 1870s

and the desert mining camp of Gunsight.

Gunsight was never what you'’d call an important camp

even in its heyday,

but it'’ll always be remembered for the famous incident of...

Whoa!

End of the line, miss.

We'’re here.

Tibbets'’ cabin's up yonder a ways.

I'’ll show you there.

Oh, thank you. I can find it.

You'’ve been more than kind to bring me this far.

Only too glad to be of service, miss.

Mrs. Tibbets sure will be tickled to see you.

Another woman to keep her company.

There aren'’t many here? She'’s the one and only.

Population of Gunsight is 99.9% male

and 100% adult.

Not a kid within miles.

You all right?

Just unsteady from sitting so long.

Is it this way?

Why, it'’s the last cabin on the second ridge over.

About a half a mile.

Thank you.

And then he yanked up his gun and let loose at me point-blank.

Bullet hit me in the ear, Judge.

Almost took my ear clean off.

Let'’s see it.

Well, danged if it didn'’t.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

aiming to kill a man and missing like that.

Why, you'’re a public menace.

I sentence you to ten hours target practice back at the store,

one half mile back.

$4 court costs.

$2 each.

Good. Case dismissed.

Ain'’t I entitled to no damages, Judge?

Seems to me you'’ve got damage enough now, ain'’t ya?

[ laughter continues ]

How'’s everything going, Rufe?

Fine, Judge.Uh-huh.

Did you fetch them goods I ordered?

I fetched something else this trip too-- a female.

Oh, you did?Mrs. Tibbets'’ sister come to pay '’em a visit.

Well, visits is about the only thing the Tibbetses do pay.

I told Bill Tibbets this morning--

I says, "Now, I can'’t carry your account much longer."

I says, "This store ain'’t any eleemosynary institution, you know."

Elee-which?"Charity," to you.

Is she young and pretty?

Well, it'’ll be good for business.

It'’ll boost the sales of neckties and hair tonic.

[ laughs ]

Betsy!

Oh, Clara!

I'’m so frightful to see you!

Well, what in the world brings you here?

Is Monty with you?No.

Well, come on in.

Bill!

Bill, look who'’s here!

Sister Betsy.

Well, the bride herself, huh?

[ crying ]

What'’s the matter?

I think she and Monty have had a quarrel.

Oh, it'’s much worse than that.

I don'’t know how to tell you, but Monty...

He'’s left you?

I left him.

I found out he already had a wife.

Our marriage wasn'’t lawful.[ whistles ]

A bigamist, huh?

Bigamist, nothing. He'’s a skunk!

Taking advantage of a poor innocent girl.

I told you he was too handsome to be trusted.

Now, if you'’d listened to me--Bill, be quiet.

What'’s done is done.

At least you'’re rid of him.

But you don'’t understand, Clara.

I'’m gonna have a baby.

CLARA: Oh, no!

That'’s why I came.

I wanted to be with you when it happened.

You mean you'’re gonna have it here?

Well, I--Certainly. Where else?

Well, a heck of a time she picked,

with me barely able to scrape together enough for the two of us.

Don'’t pay no attention to him, honey.

Bill'’s kind of edgy these days. Had a run of hard luck.

I shouldn'’t stay.Oh, nonsense.

We'’re your folks.

You go unpack now and get some rest.

You look plumb tuckered out.

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Tibbets.

Mornin'’. A pound of coffee, please.

Pound of coffee. Yes, ma'’am.

I was just grinding some.

I understand from Rufe you'’ve got a sister visiting ya.

What else did he tell you?

Oh, nothing much, except that she was pretty,

and a considerable younger than you.

Just a few years.

Well, all the boys will be glad to meet her.

[ chuckling ]

She'’ll be pretty popular too,

being the only single lady in camp, you know.

Unfortunately, my sister is far from well.

I'’m afraid she won't be able to see anybody for quite a while.

Well, that'’s too bad. I was hoping that, uh--

Uh, charge it, please?Charge it?

Oh, yes, of course. Charge it. Now, about your sister,

I got a supply of quinine if you want it. No, thank you.

Eh, rhubarb and soda?

"Charge it."

Oh. Baby clothes, huh?

Yes. A wrapper.

Well, hey! My long flannels!

Clara said they were all worn out, and I could cut them up.

Well, how do you like that?

Anybody would think that this is my kid,

wearing my cut-down underwear!I'’m sorry.

Next thing you'’ll be making my shirts into blankets for the brat.

Unraveling my socks to knit them into booties.

When'’s this blessed event take place?

In a few weeks.

And then I'’ll go away. I promise.

Where to?

Anywhere I can find a job.

And the kid?

I'’ll put it in a foundling home.

I don'’t want it.

Just so long as you don'’t palm him off on us.

If there'’s one thing I can'’t stand, it's babies.

Red, wrinklin'’, and caterwaulin'’.

Oh.

Oh!Oh, no.

Oh! Where'’s Clara?

Get Clara, quick!

Clara!

[ groaning ]Clara! Clara! Clara!

[ braying ]

BILL: Come in.

Oh, good morning, Bill.

Mornin'’, Judge.

I sure hope you hit pay dirt this time.

You know, I sure would hate to have to attach your burro.

Yes, I would. [ baby fussing ]

[ cooing ] BILL: Yep, a baby.

Born a-hollerin'’.

Bill, I didn'’t know your wife was expecting.

Ain'’t ours. Her sister, Betsy'’s.

Oh. Well, then, that'’s why, uh, uh, uh...

But I thought she was a single lady.

No. That is, uh... [ cooing continues ]

[ fussing ]

Say, I haven'’t seen a baby in-- I don'’t know how long.

Can I take a little peek?Ain'’t much to look at, but sure.

Clara'’s asleep in the next room with Betsy.

Didn'’t nobody get much rest last night.

Little girl, huh?

Boy!

Oh. How much he weigh?

Oh, about 14, 15 pounds.

That little mite? You'’re crazy.

I'’ve weighed enough sacks of flour and potatoes to know better.

All right. Heft him and see.

All right. Come on, little fella.

Here we go. Here we go.[ fussing ]

That'’s-a-boy. Yeah.

[ fussing continues ]

[ laughing ]

Why, not an ounce over nine pounds.

Here. Let me heft him.All right.

At least 13.

Well, of course, there'’s liquid and dry measure, you know.

It could be. Could be.

What are you doing?

Picking up a newborn babe and playing ball with him!

There, there.

Poor lamb. [ muttering ]

We was just weighing him.

I say he weighs, uh, 13, 14 pounds,

and the Judge here claims that--

He weighs 12 pounds even.

And now I'’m going to take you to your mother, precious.

Twelve pounds, eh?

I wonder how she knows.

She don'’t. She'’s only guessing.

Say, how many of the boys around here know about this baby?

None of them.

[ laughs ] Then I'’m gonna have some fun.

You stick around here.

What are you up to?You wait and see.

A 12-pound nugget. [ laughing ]

He'’s a fine, healthy baby.

[ cooing ] BETSY: I hoped you wouldn'’t live.

That'’s downright wicked.

I can'’t help it.

I wish I was dead myself.

You mustn'’t let him hear you say that.

As if he'’d understand.

Babies sense things.

Even the tiniest.

How come you know so much about babies, Clara,

when you never had any of your own?

You don'’t have to have babies to know about '’em...

and love '’em.

And what else, Toby?

I guess that'’s all, Judge.All right.

Thank you.

[ clangs ]

[ laughing ]

What'’s the joke, Judge?

Eh, I was just thinking, uh,

how much of this it would take to, uh, make 12 pounds.

Twelve pounds?

Because that'’s the size of the nugget I saw this morning

up at Bill Tibbets'’ house.

Bill Tibbet, a 12-pound nugget?

That'’s right.I don'’t believe it.

Well, I not only saw it, but I hefted it.

Well, seeing is believing. I'’m going up to his cabin.

And me too.Hey, let'’s go.

[ laughing ]

[ door opens ]The rush is on.

The Judge told us it was really something. Can we see it, Bill?

Will you give us a look at it?

It'’ll cost you two bits apiece.

And don'’t make any noise.

There'’s, uh, somebody asleep in the next room.

He'’s got it under lock and key, I bet.

Wrapped up in a blanket like a baby.

[ fussing ]

Gosh, it is! A real, live, honest-to-goodness baby!

Shh!Can you imagine?

Us hoofin'’ it all the way up here to see a golden nugget,

and it turns out to be a baby?

The Judge sure will give us the horse laugh.

Congratulations, Bill.

This ain'’t my kid. It'’s my wife's sister'’s.

No relation to me at all.

Well, I suppose I am his uncle,

in a way, by marriage, so to speak.

[ laughter ]

This one'’s on me, fella.

[ fussing continues ]

Say, you know that mine further up the canyon, around the bend?

Well, I'’m gonna drop the joke on them

and tell them I'’ve seen this 12-pound nugget,

and it'’s the only one of its kind in the district.

They'’ll come a-runnin', I'’ll bet.

Come on. Let'’s go.

[ door closes ]

And I'’m going to raise the price of admission.

[ cooing ]

Say, this birdseye cloth for that baby must be important

to go clear to Darwin after it.

What'’s it used for?

Why, it'’s for...

Well, you don'’t make bonnets out of it.

[ laughs, mutters ]

[ fusses ]

Here'’s something to cut your teeth on, sonny.

Look at him, will ya?

He latched right onto her.

You'’re gonna be a dead shot.

Oh, Bill!

Bill!

Bring the baby to me.

He'’s all right, Betsy. He'’s fine.

I want him. Bring him here.

In just a little while.

Now.

After you cut your teeth, son,

you can stick '’em with this here, huh?[ crying ]

[ laughter ]

[ laughter continues ]

What are you doing to my baby?

Now, Betsy, he'’s all right.

They'’re not hurting him. They'’re just looking at him.

They'’re laughing at him. I heard them.

Oh, we couldn'’t help it, ma'’am.

The whole thing'’s so darn comical.

This is the best joke.Joke?

So you think my baby'’s a joke? How dare you.

You don'’t understand--Oh, yes, I do.

You didn'’t want him here in the first place.

You detest babies. You said so yourself.

No. Well, I--And so you get even by making sport of him.

Dragging your friends in here to stare at him

and laugh at him like he was something in a sideshow.Oh, no, you got us all wrong.

We weren'’t laughing at no kid, madam. Oh!

We were just kidding around with him, that'’s all, ma'am.Oh...

Well, we... [ gasps ]

Oh, you beasts!

Oh, Clara!

I know. I heard on my way home from Darwin.

The story spread way over there.[ crying ]

You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Bill Tibbets,

turning this sacred event into a Roman holiday.

And him, your own nephew!

Clear out, the whole pack of you!

Here. Take these.

And don'’t come back until you'’ve located something with them.

[ fusses ]

Well, what are you waiting for?

I'’m sorry if you were upset. The boys didn'’t mean to--

Will you please go?[ coos ]

He'’s a beautiful baby.

You'’re an authority, of course?

I had a little boy myself once, but I lost him.

Him and his mother both.

That'’s why I came out West-- hoping to forget.

But you don'’t forget.

[ cooing ]

Well, thank you for letting me see him.

Bye.

What am I gonna do, Clara?

We'’ll manage somehow.

I told Bill as soon as I could travel, I'’d leave.

Get myself a job somewhere.

Put the baby in a...

Oh, Clara, that'’s what I can't do--

turn him over to others and give him up.

I love him. I love him!

[ sobbing ]

Judge! Judge Berry!

Judge!

Shut up, Bill! Court'’s in session!

I struck it, Judge!

You'’re disturbing the peace!

Gold!

A whole crevice of it!

All I had to do was pick it up!

Eureka?I'’ll be back later

to get it weighed after I show it to the missus.

Come on, boy!

Come on!

E pluribus unum!

Don'’t forget, I drafted ya!

[ laughing ]

Well, what do you think of that?

You sure brought me luck, baby. Happy birthday to you.

And don'’t you let it run through your fingers like some men I know.

Now, Clara... [ fussing ]

you go get your digging shoes on, sweetheart,

and I'’ll take you up and show you my claim.

[ knock on door ]

I understand--Monty!

MONTY: Don'’t tell me you're the owner of the 12-pound nugget.

No. It was all a joke.

There is no nugget. Never was.

So this is where you'’ve been hiding, huh?

Hoping never to see you again.

Well, picked a pretty good place, I'’d say.

[ fusses ]

What is it?

BETSY: A boy.

And with a gold nugget in his hand, huh?

Congratulations, little Monty Warner.

His name'’s not Monty, nor Warner neither.

He'’s my son, ain't he?

Worst luck. But you'’ve got no claim on him.

You married Betsy under false pretenses.

You already had a wife.

Oh, I can make that all right.

Divorce number one, and then I'’ll--

I'’ll never go back to you. Even if you were the last man on earth.

And you'’ll never have this baby.

Do you understand? He'’s mine. All mine.

Maybe the courts will decide different.

You wouldn'’t.Oh, wouldn'’t I?

I'’m gonna hunt out the nearest judge and bring charges.

You won'’t have far to go. There'’s one right here in Gunsight.

Good. Judge Berry, down at the store.

All right. I'’ll take care of that little matter right now.

Hear ye, hear ye.

This court is now open and in session.

What'’s the charge?

Your Honor, I'’m the father of this child.

Oh. And, uh, she is the mother?

She is.

The most beautiful word in the English language-- "mother."

The next most beautiful word is "wife."

And she'’s your wife?

Well, uh, you see--No, sir. She ain'’t.

[ chattering ] [ gavel bangs ]

Quiet!

Your Honor--

You'’re a fine one to talk about honor.

You don'’t marry the girl, and you put her to all the trouble of having a baby.

The fact remains this boy is my son.

According to the laws of this state--

Don'’t quote law to me!

I detest them technicalities.

And wipe that sneer off your face,

or I'’ll fine you for contempt of court.

This is ridiculous.

You bet it'’s ridiculous.

Do you think I'’d rule to separate a newborn baby from its mother

and turn it over to a no-count ornery like you?

I wouldn'’t in a hundred years, I wouldn'’t!

Then I'’ll appeal the case. I'’ll take it to another court.

You'’ll drop the whole thing right now, or else.

There'’s a penalty, Judge, for shooting a man.

The law don'’t say nothing about shooting skunks.

Now take my advice and get going.

Hightail it outta here,

and don'’t show your face around here again.

If you do, you might not be lucky enough

to come out with a whole hide.

And close the door when you go out.

[ laughter ]

You sure told him off, Judge.

Did he have any lawful claim?

Heck, I wouldn'’t know.

I never read a law book in my life.

[ laughing ][ laughter ]

Don'’t cry, honey.

Monty'’s gone, and he's not gonna give you any more trouble.

Bill and me will take care of you.

Oh, I couldn'’t stay here. Not after this.

Everyone knowing my baby is illegitimate.

[ crying ]Oh, that ain'’t your fault.

BETSY: I'’ll never be able to look any of these folks in the face again.

I'’m so ashamed.

I feel so disgraced I could die!

[ crying ]

I didn'’t dig very deep, but I got a hunch

it'’s gonna be the richest strike ever made in this territory.

Now you can have all the things you'’ve ever wanted, honey.

What'’s the matter?I don'’t like the looks of that sky, Bill.

There'’s a sandstorm coming.

Well, let it come.

There'’s plenty of spots around to mine where we can hold up.

What about Betsy?She'’s all right here in the house.

[ wind whooshing ]

[ wind whooshing intensifies ]

Hello.

Anybody home?

[ reading ]

[ wind whooshing ]

He weathered it like an old sourdough.

Suppose-- Suppose you hadn'’t found us.

I was bound to.

This is what I'’ve been looking for for a long time.

Now that I'’ve found it, I'’m never gonna let it go.

And just when we were getting used to having a kid in the house

and can afford to take care of '’em, they up and leave us.

Of course, I reckon you'’ll be mighty glad

to be rid of all this extra wash.

Won'’t be rid of it for long, Bill.

You mean they'’re coming back soon?

Nope.

Then whose things will you be washing?

You just think about it for awhile

and see if you can'’t think of the answer.

Clara!

Boy! Boy, oh, boy!

I bet ours will be a 15-pound nugget!

Yes, sirree, a 15-pound nugget!

♪♪ [ trumpet ]