Original subtitles

SAKAMOTO'S

I'm still exhausted from the fight at the Lab.

My body feels stiff.

Were my pork buns always this heavy?

We'd be in trouble if a hit man attacked us right now.

There's only one thing for it.

IKOI NO YU NATURAL HOT SPRINGS

- Let's all take a bath together! - This is...

Big bath, big bath!

...a bathhouse?

BATHHOUSE MODE

Mr. Sakamoto, this isn't safe.

I must be too tired. It's affecting my mind-reading power.

You don't get it, do you?

Knowing when to rest so you can stay at your best

is part of being first-class.

In a sense, this is a high-priority task.

RELAX

Come on.

I've actually never been to a public bathhouse.

Really? How unusual.

The bathtub here is super big.

Really? Super big? Could I swim in it?

I'm so excited to go in!

Calm down.

DUCKIE

It's so slow at this time on a weekday.

I knew I shouldn't have come back to work at my folks' place.

Four adults and one child, please.

Oh, sure.

Why do I recognize him?

Oh no, I forgot towels.

Mr. Sakamoto, did you bring towels?

No.

Could he be...

With towels, please.

Right. Towels for each of you, so...

Let's see... Your total comes to 3,300 yen.

Right, thank you.

One moment, please.

Let's go, Daddy.

I knew it. That's him.

Taro Sakamoto, the legendary hit man.

Make it snappy.

I never thought a petty hit man like me would ever come in contact with him,

let alone while working at my folks'.

YUTARO, 24 AMATEUR HIT MAN

BOUNTY: 1 BILLION

And his bounty is one billion yen?

This is my chance to make a name for--

The towels?

Enjoy!

I feel like this experience will bring us closer, don't you?

Don't read too deep into this.

There's no way I'm gonna get stuck running the family business.

If I can just kill the legendary hit man, the fame and the one billion yen are mine.

I gotta do this.

I'm gonna do this.

Man, this is awesome. So liberating!

Feels good.

He's completely vulnerable.

I can do it. I'm sure I can.

HIGH POWER HYPER JET BATH

Look, Mr. Sakamoto, a jet bath.

Let's try it.

Sure.

I've never tried a special bath like this.

This feels amazing!

It's a bit weak.

You think?

This is the exact scenario I had in mind when I set up gimmicks in these baths.

Look, Mr. Sakamoto,

there's a "high power" button over here.

Both of you, die!

That's what jet baths are like? How dangerous.

- Whoa, it's like a fountain. - Daddy, can I try?

Sure, when you grow up.

Let's go see.

How's that for power?

It's strong enough to destroy a three-ton truck.

Now, where's Sakamoto been blown--

That feels good.

Wow, Mr. Sakamoto!

You're hardcore even when resting!

What the heck?

What kind of mass is packed into his body?

Let's go to the sauna.

What's a sauna?

Yes, yes, yes. Like a moth flying into a flame.

I've got him now.

BENEFITS OF A SAUNA

It's pretty hot in here.

The temperature's a bit low.

You think?

Oh, it says we can pour water on these to heat up the room.

Take this.

What's with this heat?!

This is what saunas are like?

It's hot enough to cause spontaneous combustion.

You'll burn to death.

Just right.

What? How thick is his body fat?

Yeah... Yeah, it is.

Compared to training as a hit man, this is nothing.

Right, Mr. Sakamoto?

Hey, there's a bonfire.

Daddy, can I go in?

Sure, when you grow up.

Oh my, did he get dizzy in the sauna?

Young fellows these days are so wimpy.

Ah, a cold bath.

If the heat won't do it, how about the cold?

Wha...

Is it... broken?

It's a bit too warm.

It's all frozen. We can skate on it!

How about this, then?

Feels good.

It's a waterfall!

Awesome!

Rejuvenating.

Shit!

Too warm.

- How? - Feels good.

- Why? - Rejuvenating.

- Why won't he die? - Too warm. Feels good.

- How is that possible? - Rejuvenating. Feels good.

You were in there for a while, honey.

Hmm? Shin's dead.

Daddy, can we get ice cream?

Sure, when you grow up.

You're no fun!

Damn it.

I now know why he's the legendary hit man, Taro Sakamoto!

I can't even picture killing him.

Daddy, let's play ping-pong.

Wow, Lu, you're so good!

Not bad, Lu.

Same to you, Mr. Manager.

I didn't want the life my parents picked out for me.

I rebelled for the sake of rebelling.

Stop making excuses and take over the bathhouse!

No! I'm gonna be a hit man.

You can't be a hit man!

You're not even that strong!

Come back here! Yutaro!

I haven't achieved anything in life. How could I kill Sakamoto, of all people?

Well, look who it is. Yutaro!

Long time no see.

Say something, you idiot.

Oh... Yeah...

What's up?

Didn't you leave town saying you'd make it big?

But you ended up working for your folks!

It's none of your business!

Who do you think you're yelling at? We're customers, remember?

Don't whimper, you creep.

You've always been such a coward.

It's not like you'd ever get a proper job,

so you might as well take over this bath-shack.

Don't insult my dad's bathhouse.

Look at this place. It's falling apart.

Isn't it, Mon?

A shitty bath-shack!

Ping...

Pong!

Yokkun! Yokkun!

What the hell did you do to him?

I didn't do any--

Who do you think you are?

Here you go.

You... You must've known all along.

You figured out that I was trying to

- kill you-- - The baths were great. Very innovative.

That's all.

The hot spring was great!

- Let's come again. - Yeah!

Shin is such a wimp.

How could he get this dizzy?

It's been years since I've been complimented by anyone.

And by the legendary hit man, no less.

Hi, Dad.

I've been thinking,

and I think it's time I took over.

What?

Yeah.

I'm done being a hit man.

I've finally figured out it's not for me.

Huh? "No"?

I take too much for granted?

Right.

I see...

THE NEXT DAY

My body feels even stiffer.

I didn't know bathhouses were so tough.

Shin, you look funny!

So this is Japan.

I can only hope she's safe.

We must go pick her up at once.

GIFTO

Going to the bathhouse made me feel even worse.

Look, Shin.

One's normal cola.

The other is my special-blend cola.

No reading minds.

Huh? What the heck is a "special blend"?

This one.

Yay! You're paying today.

What a dumb game. How did I fall for that?

Family restaurants are so fun.

I've only been a few times.

Really? Aren't there family restaurants in every country?

Are there?

We had most of our meals at home, prepared by our chef.

Right.

I forgot she's the daughter of a mafia boss.

You don't keep in touch with people from back then?

I like this relaxed life much better.

I never really liked the mafia to begin with.

There's no way I could go back to that world now.

Same here.

I know what you mean.

Once you get a taste of peace, you can't kick it.

Well, I'm gonna go get another refill.

ZHǍO DÀO NǏ LE

QǏNG SǏ

What can I get you?

One melon soda.

Yes, sir.

Aren't you a bit old for a melon soda?

I guess you're a fatty but not a foodie.

What's with this guy?

Wait a minute... Are you Wutang?

Wutang?

It has been too long, my lady.

Wutang, you were alive?

Who the hell are you?

- Older brother? - No way!

Just someone from the mafia.

My lady,

since the incident, the Lu clan has been without a leader.

Hey. Don't ignore me.

Please come back as the head of the clan.

Look at them.

You shouldn't associate with inferior, barbaric hit men like this.

What was that?

No way! I'm not going back to the mafia.

Whoever wants to be the head can do it.

She's so cute!

Mr. Wutang! Are you alright, sir?

Don't cry. Hold still.

Who is this guy?

This is Lu Wutang.

- My lady! My lady. - I don't know why, but...

- My lady? My lady! - ...he's always been insanely clingy.

He's a perverted, meddling consigliere.

My lady!

What's a consigliere?

An adviser to the mafia.

What an honor.

My lady knew all this time

that I was protecting her nearby.

Whoa, this dude is out there.

I told you. I've left the mafia for good.

I'm just a store clerk at Sakamoto's now.

I see. So, to summarize, I wish to take my lady back,

but Taro Sakamoto, the legendary hit man,

is standing in my way.

What's that supposed to mean?

If you want a fight, I'm your guy.

Idiot.

As if I would fight a hit man bare-handed!

You're so far back!

A refreshing change.

I will fight you for my lady, the mafia way.

No, we won't.

It's quicker for us just to crush you now.

I want to get this over with.

Don't worry.

You'll get something out of it.

Sakamoto.

If you win this battle,

I will give you information on the person that put the bounty on you.

How would you know?

Don't underestimate the mafia's network.

Mr. Sakamoto?

I refuse. You can't have Lu.

We'll get the information on our own.

Huh?

Deal. Let's do it.

What the?

If you lose, you'll have to go back to the mafia.

I know.

But I'm a part of Sakamoto's now.

If I can give Mr. Manager a leg up, you bet I will.

Come with me, then.

Give him a leg up?

She makes it sound so sensual.

It's filthy here.

Where are you taking us?

Shut up and follow me.

What does "the mafia way" mean, anyway?

I want to go home.

You two. Peasants.

Your scruffy clothes will draw attention where we're going.

I've generously prepared this for you. Get changed.

FOR MY LADY

My lady, you can change here.

Perfect fit.

Go in.

This is a place citizens of the underworld come to socialize.

A place swirling with desire and money...

An underground casino.

Casino?

Now I get it.

I see. Physical strength won't matter here.

I know you're poor,

so I've prepared 30 million yen in chips for you to use.

The team that makes more money wins.

We'll meet up again here in two hours.

Gambling...

No need for concern, Lu.

We have Shin, the mind-reader.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

If we read the minds of the dealers and other guests,

we'll win for sure!

I don't even know the rules of any casino games.

- Me neither. - What?!

We're screwed!

Wutang may not be good at fighting, but he's incredibly sharp.

The Lu clan values martial arts,

so to get to a leadership position with intelligence alone is exceptional.

Amazing!

That guy with the braid went all-in in his first round and won!

So that means... 90 million yen?

He's tripled it already?

I will get my lady back.

I'll bet everything on it.

WIN MORE THAN WUTANG AT THE CASINO!

Damn it!

Thanks to the Sakamotos, I'm out of a job!

Mr. Tanaka,

I think our only choice now is to open a crepe stand.

What? A crepe stand?

Sounds like a plan!

TANAKA CREPES

That was from caller Poopy Pants.

No one's buying our crepes.

Next, from caller Poopy Pants...

Poopy Pants.

Seba, how about you turn off that radio and--

I'm hungry.

That was perfect!

I've always wanted to try this.

Ooh, look. A crepe stand.

Shall we get some?

Let's get some!

That pink hair!

Hey, no fair!

I gotta hide--

Whoa, look at that.

The crepe's floating!

That's so cool!

This crepe stand has gone viral for their floating crepes.

There's gotta be some sort of trick.

As long as it tastes good, who cares?

- Yum! - How fascinating.

Subtitle translation by: Yuka Kristi

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