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1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,038
Hey. How was your shower?
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,741
Nice... all the rust in your
water makes a great exfoliant.
3
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,511
And you thought it was gonna kill you.
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,780
Seriously, don't let
that get in your mouth.
5
00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:18,017
Kind of wish the walls were
a little thicker, though.
6
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,885
It feels like your neighbor
could hear everything.
7
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:20,919
Not everything.
8
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,355
Good to know, Ray.
9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,157
This one's a keeper, Jenny.
10
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,393
Ray has been very supportive.
11
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:30,162
Oh, I love having you
here and playing house.
12
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,397
Mm.
13
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,098
I think you should stay here every night.
14
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,733
Yeah, though I do miss
15
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,602
my organic California-king
pillow-top, extra-firm,
16
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,337
adjustable memory-foam mattress.
17
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:42,574
Well, old lumpy's been
with me since I was 19.
18
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,244
Oh, my God.
If this bed could talk...
19
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,014
It would be silent.
20
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,050
So, where do you want to sleep
tonight... the hill or the valley?
21
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,052
Mm, I'll take the hill. I like the view.
22
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,486
Okay.
23
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,956
- Good night.
- Good night.
24
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,124
Are you guys gonna do it?
25
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,260
- Good night, Ray!
- Good night, Ray!
26
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,533
Are you wearing jeans?
27
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,735
Yeah. This is how we dress downstairs, man.
28
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,637
And I got to tell you, I kind of like it.
29
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,806
It's super-laid-back.
The hours are great.
30
00:01:13,808 --> 00:01:15,407
You know what I saw when
I got out last night?
31
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,408
- What's that?
- Night.
32
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,211
I miss night.
33
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,138
I haven't had a night off since
the "Sex and the City" movie.
34
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:22,614
Which one?
35
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:23,949
There were two?
36
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,117
Ohh.
37
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,652
I never go out anymore, man.
38
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,587
I can't remember the last time I got laid.
39
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,122
I'm in, like, a record dry spell.
40
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,491
I swear, this morning... heat lightning.
41
00:01:33,806 --> 00:01:35,127
I don't have time for this, okay?
42
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,295
I got to go talk to Mansfield.
43
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,896
Ooh, in jeans?
44
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,665
Do you want to borrow my emergency slacks?
45
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,899
No, no, no, no.
46
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,301
This time, it's not about business.
47
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,635
I'm gonna remind him of
our personal connection.
48
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,837
He can't resist that.
49
00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:46,839
Unrelated, why do you look so good?
50
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:48,006
Your skin's glowing.
51
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,741
This morning, I had a rusty shower.
52
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,144
Oh, my God, they invented new sex moves?
53
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,280
Good morning, Mr. Mansfield.
54
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,815
I have a little something for you.
55
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,183
What's with the costume?
56
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,952
It's not a costume. They're called jeans.
57
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,687
Well, I know what they are.
58
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:04,423
I own several pair of dungarees myself.
59
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,826
You'd be surprised just how many
Western-themed charity events
60
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,161
I have to attend.
61
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,496
Actually, I went to one the other night.
62
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,964
I can't remember what it was called,
63
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,766
but they show you pictures
of... of teeth and gums,
64
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,736
and damn it if you
don't just write a check!
65
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,340
Well, anyway, I thought you
might be interested in this.
66
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,942
It's the original signature
page from the Thomas account.
67
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,210
I found it downstairs.
68
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,879
It must have been shredded by accident,
69
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,714
so I pieced it together...
it reminds me of the time
70
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,449
we accidentally shredded the Mays file.
71
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,885
You and I worked all night reassembling it.
72
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,887
And then, as the sun rose on your balcony,
73
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,955
you said... why?
74
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,857
I see what you're doing.
75
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,894
You've come in here with
hopes of warming me up
76
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:45,631
with your talk of old times
and your blue cotton trousers.
77
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,867
I was just making conversation.
78
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,869
But that's not our relationship anymore.
79
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,137
You know what they say...
80
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,640
Fool me once, not gonna happen.
81
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,708
Fool me twice, I thought I made it clear
82
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,144
you didn't fool me the first time.
83
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,080
So, you and I can no longer talk?
84
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,348
Don't blame me.
85
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,750
I used to love giving you advice.
86
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,386
But there will be no more chitchat.
87
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,488
Just so you know, I
spent a long time on that.
88
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,356
- That sound like chit.
- Just let me say...
89
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,892
That sounds like chat. Good day.
90
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,994
- Ms. Harris!
- Yes, sir?
91
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,162
What do you need? Anything.
92
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:20,199
You want me to write a logarithm,
algorithm, cryptarithm?
93
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,334
Like they said at
M.I.T., I've got "-ithm."
94
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,435
Ha.
95
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,103
How would you like to be a part
96
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,039
of one of the biggest deals
in the history of this company?
97
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,207
I would love to!
98
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,242
And you will. But not today.
99
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,346
Go ahead and un-shred
that for me, will you?
100
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,515
- Great. I love puzzles.
- I love your attitude.
101
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,517
- You know, I was actually voted...
- We're done!
102
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,695
Well, it's gonna take longer than I
thought to get out of these jeans.
103
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:52,864
Oh, not if I have
anything to do with it.
104
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,733
Mwah.
105
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,568
I know you want your job back upstairs,
106
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,103
but I love having you down here.
107
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,138
They're here! They're here! Paychecks!
108
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,440
Ha, ha, yes!
109
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,975
I don't work this hard for nothing.
110
00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,410
- Can you bring me mine?
- I'm on break.
111
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,945
Guess who's getting his beard trimmed?
112
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,948
And not at the dog place.
113
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,883
Mr. Moyer, I believe that's for you.
114
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,552
Oh, this is very exciting.
115
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,654
This is my very first downstairs...
116
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,890
What the... fi... how?
117
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,425
This can't be right.
118
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,760
Oh, no. It's not.
119
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,228
They forgot to take out social security.
120
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,896
So they'll just take out more next time.
121
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,231
"Take out more"?
122
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,667
This is less than I pay my waxer.
123
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,507
For my car, you idiot.
124
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,478
Well, well, well, well, well.
125
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,281
Looks like poor little
rich boy's now got to wax
126
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,817
like all us poor people.
127
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,620
Hey, Harvard, Brody's one of us now, okay?
128
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,255
I'm just saying... upstairs people
129
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,090
can't make it on a downstairs paycheck.
130
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,626
Dude, I was a money manager, okay?
131
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,928
If you can do it, I can do it.
132
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,530
Why don't you put your lack of money
133
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,065
where your tiny, hairless mouth is?
134
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,200
How about I put my tiny, hairless mo...
135
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,036
This is not going anywhere good.
136
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,038
All right, why don't you two make a bet?
137
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,839
Whoever has the most money left over
138
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,675
from their paychecks on Friday wins.
139
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,043
- I'm in.
- Yeah, me too.
140
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,811
Babe, are you sure?
141
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,047
You're gonna have to make, like,
some serious waxing adjustments.
142
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,649
Well, trust me. I can
figure out a way, okay?
143
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,518
I can live on this every week.
144
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,519
It's every two weeks.
145
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,953
What the f... how?
146
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,165
All right, to make the bet fair,
I cashed both your paychecks.
147
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,468
You each get the same amount
of money minus the "ADM" fee.
148
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,869
Oh, you mean ATM fee.
149
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,806
No, ADM... "Automatic Derrick Money."
150
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,675
Okay. It's on.
151
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,179
How do I know Brody's not gonna
cheat with his rich-people tricks?
152
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,347
You know, with...
153
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,482
Bank accounts and credit scores.
154
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:54,186
Simple... Just give
me all your cards. Okay.
155
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,822
All right, Brody's got a
gold card, platinum card,
156
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,156
and a black card.
157
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:01,893
Harvard's got a sandwich-club
card, a yoga-club card,
158
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,896
and a card that appears
to be the six of diamonds.
159
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,532
Were you thinking of the six of diamonds?
160
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,500
I am now.
161
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,502
How did I do it?
162
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,209
Hey, Jenny.
163
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,410
Can I talk to you for a second?
164
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,345
Sure.
165
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,414
Um... So...
166
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,883
I'm having a bit of a
dry spell with the ladies.
167
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,284
Okay.
168
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,020
And I was wondering if you had a friend
169
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:32,591
you could maybe set me
up with who could...
170
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,360
Make it rain.
171
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:41,533
Okay, so, you would like
to use one of my friends
172
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,968
as a slump-buster.
173
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:48,940
That is a degrading term,
and I would never use it.
174
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,710
Why? Were you thinking of
somebody specific, or...?
175
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,747
Oh, that's impressive.
176
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,617
You have perfectly re-assembled
an e-mail from my wife
177
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,552
asking me what I want for dinner.
178
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,053
Spoiler alert...
179
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:06,391
it's anything with meat
because, damn it, I'm a man.
180
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,926
I've never met anyone
181
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,729
who printed out and shredded
all of their e-mails.
182
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,297
Well, if it's worth
reading, it's worth printing.
183
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,665
And if it's worth printing,
184
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,034
then it's no one else's goddamn business.
185
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,605
You know, I got to confess to you...
186
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,441
you remind me of someone...
187
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:26,111
a new associate working late
on a night not unlike this
188
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,113
with a man a hell of a lot like me.
189
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,249
And I just want you to know
that if you ever need any advice
190
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,250
I'm here.
191
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,453
Well, I have a system.
192
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,254
I bet you do.
193
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,989
Show me what you got there, kiddo.
194
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,791
First, I find a letter.
195
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,193
Aha.
196
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:42,461
Then, I make up a song about that letter.
197
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,865
Good night!
198
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,139
Whatcha doing?
199
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,707
My budget.
200
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,610
Ooh, oh, panties, you stay on there.
201
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,014
Hey, this is exciting for me, okay?
202
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,716
I cut all this stuff from my budget,
203
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,184
and I still have a little savings left over
204
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,619
to put in the bank every month.
205
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,955
I put my savings in
that jar over the fridge.
206
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,223
That jar is empty.
207
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:15,126
No, I used my savings to buy that jar.
208
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,696
Hey, if you stay over on Friday,
209
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,397
we can go check out that farmer's market.
210
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,832
Oh, yeah, I'll definitely be here Friday.
211
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,833
I just gave up my apartment.
212
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,569
You did what? Y-you...
213
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,671
yeah, well, that was the
biggest savings of all.
214
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,373
I mean, that place cost a fortune.
215
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,076
So, we're living together.
216
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,078
No. We're crashing.
217
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,180
Just until I get my job back.
218
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,348
It's gonna be fun, right?
219
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,749
Yeah!
220
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,050
Yes. Fun. Yes.
221
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,486
Crashing's fun. Crashing's so fun.
222
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,989
I l-love me some crashing.
223
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,224
So, do you want the hill or the valley?
224
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,393
Oh, whatever you want. You live here now.
225
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,509
Morning.
226
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,510
How'd you sleep?
227
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,979
Fan-freaking-tastic.
228
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,925
Oh, spending all your money on lunch.
229
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,860
Look who's already lost the bet.
230
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,928
It's a hot dog.
231
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,463
And a bun.
232
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,465
Enjoy your tiny wiener.
233
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,304
And your hot dog.
234
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:41,146
For your information, my tiny
wiener only cost 79 cents.
235
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,883
Damn, that's cheap.
236
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,652
It's not cheaper than the
buffet across the street, though.
237
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,621
You mean the grocery store?
238
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:53,291
And then for dessert, we
had 10 packets of Splenda.
239
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,562
I got to be honest. I
actually feel pretty good.
240
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,664
My teeth do hurt a little bit, but...
241
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,399
Hey, guys.
242
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,801
Hey, babe.
243
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,302
Oh, I was thinking
about for dinner tonight,
244
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,670
maybe Ramen at our place.
245
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,606
I think you just said "our" place.
246
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,140
Ooh, did I? I'm sorry. I meant
your place. I mean, I heard that.
247
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,575
Oh, no, no, no. It's not a big deal. Okay.
248
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,110
No, my place, your place, our place...
249
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,578
It's just a place.
250
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,714
Anyway, um, it's great seeing you.
251
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:26,091
I mean, I don't know why
I'm freaking out, Lindsay.
252
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,626
I-I love him, but it's like...
253
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,427
We've only been dating for six months.
254
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,262
Oh, my God, we've been
dating for six months.
255
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,633
That beats my last record by six months.
256
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,267
You don't have to tell me
257
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,003
about relationships moving too fast.
258
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,605
I mean, you meet a guy,
things are hot and heavy,
259
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:44,576
and then, boom, next thing
you know, Comic-Con is over.
260
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,213
And you see him without his armor,
261
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,315
and it turns out he's
just another short, fat guy
262
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:53,018
who won't call you back.
263
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,653
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
264
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,287
Don't be. I stole his sword.
265
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,558
I don't know.
266
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,060
Maybe I'm just over-tired.
267
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,030
I didn't sleep very well last
night after Brody moved in.
268
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,965
Did you say, "Brody moved in"?
269
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,199
Well, yes, sir. He, uh...
270
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,567
I don't care.
271
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,089
Not getting sucked back into his life.
272
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,372
I mean, I feel bad, you know?
273
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,907
He only did it to try and save money.
274
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,208
Oh, to save money...
275
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,710
What could possibly go wrong with that?
276
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,746
Let me tell you something... nothing!
277
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,882
He didn't even tell me before he...
278
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,418
No.
279
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,587
Not gonna do it.
280
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,590
Got to go home!
281
00:11:34,768 --> 00:11:36,728
Hey, check out that girl
cleaning out the garbage.
282
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:37,996
Is she cute?
283
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,431
No, and she's a dude.
284
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,901
He's not even cute.
285
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,703
Yeah.
286
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,171
I'm so off my game, man.
287
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,006
You have no idea what it's like out there.
288
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,441
You're so lucky you have Jenny.
289
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,209
Yeah, I am.
290
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,510
Now you guys are living
together? That's awesome.
291
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,112
How'd you ask her? Was it romantic?
292
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,614
Did you, like, sprinkle rose
petals or release a dove?
293
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,852
Do you know how long it's been
since I've released a dove?
294
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,588
You know, actually, I didn't
do anything super-romantic.
295
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,458
I kind of just... Didn't leave.
296
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:07,792
That's unlike you.
297
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,961
I mean, you're all about the big moments.
298
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,564
You wrote her a song for
your one-week anniversary.
299
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,541
You got to take it easy on me...
300
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,609
The falsetto's too much, huh?
301
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,077
It's really good.
302
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,312
You know, you're right, though.
303
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,646
I mean, she was freaking out
304
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,981
ever since I said I was crashing there.
305
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,449
She wants a commitment.
306
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,551
Yeah, of course she
does, dude. She's a girl.
307
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,754
Oh, it was so obvious, too.
308
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:38,890
I mean, she said that she
loved playing house with me,
309
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,892
that I should stay there every night.
310
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,728
Learn to take a hint, bro.
She wants to be smothered.
311
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,564
Dude, that is such great advice.
312
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,366
Yeah, man. I know women.
313
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,237
What about her? Is she cute?
314
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,772
Uh, behind the old dude?
315
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,140
Never mind.
316
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,113
All right. Catch you later.
317
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,348
Or never.
318
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,682
Your call.
319
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,018
Jenny, thank God you're here.
320
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,486
I need your help.
321
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,854
Every woman in this bar has shot me down,
322
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,289
and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
323
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,924
I will buy you a car!
324
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:13,992
Oh. Okay.
325
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,426
You're here.
326
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,761
Sit down. Sit down.
327
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:17,962
We got to get this desperate off of you.
328
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,131
Okay, now, deep breath.
329
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,432
All that needs to happen
330
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,801
is that the women in here need to know
331
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,369
that one woman finds you attractive.
332
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,004
Okay, well, that's kind of the problem.
333
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,005
Mm, not for long.
334
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:32,210
I'm laughing like I think you're hilarious.
335
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,680
And now I'm stroking your hair
336
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,183
to show a level of physical attraction.
337
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,851
I love you.
338
00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:42,487
- Stay focused, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
339
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,822
And now I'm sulking
340
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:46,124
because that girl over there is staring,
341
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,725
and I'm getting jealous.
342
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,460
But she means nothing to me.
343
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,632
Threepeat, listen closely, okay?
344
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,834
Mm-hmm.
345
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,569
No, not that close. Mm-hmm.
346
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,006
Go to the bar, sit down, order a drink,
347
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,175
and do not talk to that
girl for 10 minutes. Okay.
348
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,244
- Uh, I can maybe do 10 seconds.
- That's great.
349
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,547
Hey, guys.
350
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,384
In a bar... on your budget.
351
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,820
Good way to lose the bet, Mr. Buffett.
352
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,755
Jimmy or Warren... it works both ways.
353
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,325
Ooh! Good burn.
354
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:23,428
I don't know who any of
those people are, but ouch!
355
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,929
Yeah, well, uh, Harvard, nice try.
356
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,397
You're also in a bar.
357
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,600
Yeah, because I'm an urban survivalist.
358
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:30,935
I can go the entire night
and not even spend a dime.
359
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,904
Okay. How'd you get that beer?
360
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,910
Use what little brain you
have under those tight curls.
361
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,211
What is bar short for?
362
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,913
"Bar-ter."
363
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,716
Actually, the term was
popularized in the old west
364
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,384
when a rail... or bar, if you will...
365
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,785
ran... what am I doing?
366
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,588
It's like, "hey, wind. Here comes piss."
367
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,090
Look.
368
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,926
If I want a beer, I
"bar-ter" one lingering hug
369
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,428
with the bartender/former cult leader.
370
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,134
You feel good about yourself?
371
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,202
Yeah, always.
372
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,270
Round two?
373
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,704
Absolutely.
374
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,640
Hey, Frank, two more coors lights.
375
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:10,008
Get in here, fella!
376
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:15,413
Hey, babe.
377
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,982
Hey. There he is... my Brody.
378
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,484
Where I work, where I live, where I play,
379
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,752
Brody, Brody, Brody.
380
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,287
That's a lot of Brodys.
381
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,422
Mm-hmm. Sure feels that way.
382
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,623
Let's be honest.
383
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,826
This whole crashing-together
thing, it's not what you want.
384
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:29,827
Oh, my God.
385
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,062
Oh, my God.
386
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,096
Thank you for saying that.
387
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,398
I'm so sorry, baby.
388
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,499
I just didn't know how to tell you.
389
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:35,667
No, no, no. It's my fault.
390
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,068
I handled the whole thing wrong.
391
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,636
Look, I'm just gonna come out
392
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,338
and say what I should have
said in the first place.
393
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,506
Let's live together.
394
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,408
- I'm sorry. What?
- Yeah.
395
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,642
No more crashing,
396
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,644
no more "just until I get my job back."
397
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,681
You and I are in this thing together,
so I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,123
I have to go. I got to go.
399
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,258
Okay.
400
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,295
Somebody looks pretty pathetic.
401
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,207
Oh, dude, the drought is over.
402
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,309
Hooked up in a big way last night.
403
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,845
Oh, cool. Was anyone else there?
404
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,248
This time, yes.
405
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,453
And it got pretty weird pretty fast.
406
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,122
I think she gave me a rusty shower.
407
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,523
Well, what exactly did she...
408
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,192
No, you know what? I don't want to know.
409
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:36,794
How'd it go with Jenny?
410
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,162
Turns out your advice was not that great.
411
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,731
Oh, yeah, dude. I'm terrible with women.
412
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,099
Don't you know me?
413
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,302
Good morning, Mr. Mansfield.
414
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,604
I'm just here to take care of your plants.
415
00:16:47,647 --> 00:16:49,407
Well, I think you've
watered that one enough.
416
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,142
- How do you know, sir?
- Well, it's a lamp.
417
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,512
Look, I'm sorry.
418
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,980
It's just things were
going so well with Jenny.
419
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,648
And then I move in with... you know what?
420
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,450
You know what? I forgot. No chit. No chat.
421
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,988
Mr. Mansfield, I did it.
I finally finished. Whew!
422
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,258
I'm still a little
light-headed from the glue.
423
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,559
Well done, Ms. Harris.
424
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,228
Won't you... won't you please have a seat?
425
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,997
Tell me... how... how familiar are you
426
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,899
with the history of the conquistadors
427
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,100
of the 16th century?
428
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,870
Not super-familiar.
429
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,371
Well, in 1519,
430
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,774
Cortés and his men
were able to do something
431
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:26,711
that no one else had done
in 600 years of trying.
432
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,912
He defeated the Aztecs.
433
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,347
His secret?
434
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,115
Well, he burned his own ships.
435
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,251
And the Aztecs were afraid of fire?
436
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,886
He did it to motivate his own men.
437
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,254
And his men were afraid of fire.
438
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,789
T-this will go much more smoothly
439
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,957
as soon as you understand
it's not a conversation.
440
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,392
Gotcha.
441
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:45,963
Cortés wanted his men to know
that there was no way home
442
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,066
and that the only way for
them to actually survive
443
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:52,537
was to defeat the Aztecs,
and... well, it worked.
444
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,605
It turns out when...
445
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:59,710
when people feel cornered,
well, they'll fight like hell.
446
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:03,448
Doesn't even matter how deeply they
may actually care about each other.
447
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,218
Thank you, sir.
448
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,053
Oh, I wasn't talking to you,
449
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:12,123
but if you did glean some
insight from what I said,
450
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,591
well, there's nothing I can do about that.
451
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,295
Can I just...
452
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,362
Don't ruin the moment.
453
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,269
So...
454
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,206
Good night. Okay.
455
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:36,314
Hey.
456
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,316
Uh, listen.
457
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,485
I-I'm so sorry that
I've been freaking out.
458
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,919
I love you.
459
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,821
I love you. And I love having you here.
460
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,191
It's just that when I see you
here, sometimes I just...
461
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,093
I feel like I'm falling and
drowning at the same time.
462
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:50,962
I'm moving out.
463
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,498
Oh, no. Why?
464
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,500
I know this sounds crazy,
465
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,635
but I don't want to burn your ships.
466
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,270
Oh, you mean like Cortés?
467
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,540
Yeah, actually.
468
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,709
Anyway, I love living with you,
469
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,344
but I think we should
wait until we're ready.
470
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,812
So I got my own place.
471
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:11,015
And, uh, it's not much,
but I can afford it.
472
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,683
Well...
473
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,887
I mean, maybe you should
just crash here tonight.
474
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:19,323
Well, I guess I could just
move into my new place tomorrow.
475
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,460
Well, but tomorrow's
almost the weekend, and...
476
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,796
We could check out that farmer's market.
477
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,832
I don't know. Let's just play it by ear.
478
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,133
Okay.
479
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,134
That sounds great.
480
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:34,839
Baby, thank you for moving out.
481
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,507
No problem.
482
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,708
Glad it worked out!
483
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,876
Thanks, Ray.
484
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:44,615
- He's so supportive.
- He really is.
485
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,656
Well, well, well, lower the drawbridge.
486
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,991
Sir spend-a-lot is here.
487
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,393
Okay, okay. You got me.
488
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,994
But for the record,
489
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,529
I spent the last of my money
trying to make Jenny happy,
490
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,697
and I regret nothing.
491
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,365
For the record,
492
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,034
I've spent the past three years
trying to make Jenny happy,
493
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,636
and you're a dick.
494
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,407
All right, boys. Let's count it up.
495
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,610
All right, final count for Brody is $2.
496
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,378
And Harvard has $1.
497
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,513
What?!
498
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:19,917
Damn it! Why did I spend $2 on
this celebratory licorice rope?
499
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,453
Oh, my God. I won!
500
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,255
Wait, what did we even play for?
501
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,223
The usual.
502
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,395
How's it going?
503
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,430
Hey.
504
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,232
Come on, man.
505
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:38,869
You guys got some numbers going on here?
506
00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:42,039
What in the hell are you doing?
507
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,375
I'm streaking.
508
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:47,545
Well, don't most people
run when they streak?
509
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:51,048
Most people feel shame.
510
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:54,051
Most people also feel fear.
511
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,653
Okay. Yeah. Oh, roger that.
512
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,955
I'm gonna just get this elevator here.
513
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,590
That's... okay.
514
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,626
Open the elevators!
36788
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