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1
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Hey.
2
00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:15,607
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
3
00:00:15,608 --> 00:00:17,469
H...
4
00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:20,504
Were you... Were you watching me sleep?
5
00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,883
No, I was watching you try to breathe.
6
00:00:22,884 --> 00:00:25,676
I think you have
a... a badly deviated septum.
7
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,055
But it's a damn cute deviated septum.
8
00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:29,814
Aw, thank you.
9
00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:31,469
I got you something.
10
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,538
Okay.
11
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What is it?
12
00:00:36,056 --> 00:00:37,814
Open it.
13
00:00:37,815 --> 00:00:40,469
Wow.
14
00:00:40,470 --> 00:00:42,849
Ah, it's a... it's a little yellow hat.
15
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Try it on.
16
00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:47,642
Oh, I-I'd love to try it on.
17
00:00:50,712 --> 00:00:53,021
I love this.
18
00:00:53,022 --> 00:00:54,302
Really?
19
00:00:54,313 --> 00:00:56,642
Yes. Perfect.
20
00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:59,366
I mean, do you think it fits?
21
00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,607
Definitely. Does it feel loose?
22
00:01:00,608 --> 00:01:01,918
I don't know what it is.
23
00:01:01,919 --> 00:01:03,573
Well, you can always put a bobby pin in
24
00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:06,883
to keep it in place,
like they do with the, um...
25
00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:08,435
Yarmulkes? Yes.
26
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,262
Wait.
27
00:01:10,263 --> 00:01:11,918
Why do you know that word?
28
00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:13,435
I'm... I'm Jewish.
29
00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:17,573
Okay.
30
00:01:17,574 --> 00:01:20,055
No. I'm... I'm 100% Jewish.
31
00:01:20,056 --> 00:01:21,918
Well, you are funny.
32
00:01:21,919 --> 00:01:23,780
Well...
33
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,252
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
34
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Mommy!
35
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,297
My Genes&Me results came!
36
00:01:36,298 --> 00:01:38,228
Okay, I am...
37
00:01:38,229 --> 00:01:40,780
100% Ashkenazi Jew.
38
00:01:40,781 --> 00:01:42,466
Yeah, no shit. Ever seen a mirror?
39
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,814
Wow. Okay. We have history of anxiety.
40
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,573
Check. Poor eyesight.
41
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,469
Check.
42
00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:51,262
Yeah, well... Tay-Sachs disease.
43
00:01:51,263 --> 00:01:53,140
- Cystic fibrosis. Fragile X syndrome.
- Uh-huh.
44
00:01:53,151 --> 00:01:55,124
Holy shit. Let me tell
you something, honey.
45
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,676
I could've told you all of that
without your selling
46
00:01:57,677 --> 00:01:59,538
your medical history to the government.
47
00:01:59,539 --> 00:02:01,814
What... What do you mean?
48
00:02:01,815 --> 00:02:05,504
Google owns your DNA,
you naive little bitch!
49
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,780
Well, I'm gonna write all about this
50
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,297
for my grad school personal essay.
51
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,538
"Endophenotypes: The Genetic Inheritance
52
00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:15,676
- "of Mental Disorders."
- Yikes!
53
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,331
Okay, what else does this have
to teach me abo...
54
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,331
Oh, my God.
55
00:02:22,332 --> 00:02:24,814
Oh, my God!!
56
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,574
- Abbi.
- What?
57
00:02:26,575 --> 00:02:28,366
Well, I just found out
58
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,873
that I have the richest history
a millennial Jew can have.
59
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:34,573
I'm related...
♪ to a Holocaust survivor ♪
60
00:02:34,574 --> 00:02:36,124
Yah!
61
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,504
Hey!
62
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:45,849
Dude, this is incredible.
63
00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:47,538
There's so few left.
There's, like, none.
64
00:02:47,539 --> 00:02:49,021
I know, and I'm 16th cousins
65
00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:51,849
- with one who lives in Manhattan!
- Whoa.
66
00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,883
- We have to go right the fuck now.
- Okay.
67
00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,366
Dope, because I know that I can learn
68
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,849
so much about my history or whatever,
69
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,366
but also about our shared
mental illness. Shwing!
70
00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:01,193
Maybe I should get my DNA tested.
71
00:03:01,194 --> 00:03:03,504
I could be related to a
Holocaust survivor, too.
72
00:03:03,505 --> 00:03:04,711
Who, a guard?
73
00:03:04,712 --> 00:03:06,228
Come on, Ilana.
74
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,656
I don't mean a full-on Nazi.
75
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,853
I mean like a Polish soldier
who looked the other way.
76
00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:11,504
I am Jewish.
77
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:13,987
Yeah, emphasis on the "ish."
Come on. Let's go.
78
00:03:13,988 --> 00:03:16,159
So what are we doing, the Q or the F?
79
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,573
Fuck!
80
00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:18,987
What da hat?
81
00:03:18,988 --> 00:03:20,538
Oh, this? Lesley got it for me.
82
00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:22,504
She saw it and thought of me.
83
00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:24,745
It's cute, right? I'm
just giving it a go.
84
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,883
We'll see.
85
00:03:25,894 --> 00:03:28,055
Brave.
86
00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:38,400
Yeah, so she was just, like, out
and saw it in a store
87
00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,849
and... and thought of me.
88
00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:42,538
And...
89
00:03:42,539 --> 00:03:44,262
we think she likes you, right?
90
00:03:44,263 --> 00:03:46,159
Yeah. Yeah, I mean...
91
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,262
I think she really likes me.
92
00:03:48,263 --> 00:03:50,883
I'm... I... I really like her, too.
93
00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:53,918
So, you're a hat girl now?
94
00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,159
I mean... I mean, maybe.
95
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,400
Is that, um... a problem?
96
00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:02,642
I'm just... I'm surprised.
97
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,711
You know, you've...
you've never expressed
98
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,090
any interest in hats.
99
00:04:06,091 --> 00:04:08,159
I watch your eyes when we walk,
when we talk.
100
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,331
You've never even looked at a hat.
101
00:04:10,332 --> 00:04:13,814
Well, I mean, I guess I never
really considered them.
102
00:04:13,815 --> 00:04:16,193
Right. But Lesley bought it for me,
103
00:04:16,194 --> 00:04:18,607
- so I'm I'm gonna give it a try.
- One last thing...
104
00:04:18,608 --> 00:04:21,538
Do you think you're gonna be a hat
person for the rest of your life?
105
00:04:21,539 --> 00:04:23,849
I don't know.
106
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,676
Are we talking about hats?
107
00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:28,401
Yeah. We're talking about hats.
108
00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:32,952
- Hi.
- Hi.
109
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,435
We are here to visit
my very dear, sweet,
110
00:04:35,436 --> 00:04:39,055
and close 16th cousin Saul Borowitz.
111
00:04:39,056 --> 00:04:42,297
Oh, fantastic. He'll be so
happy to have visitors.
112
00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:43,952
Can I have your licenses?
113
00:04:43,953 --> 00:04:46,469
And you'll get your licenses
back when you leave.
114
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:47,745
Great.
115
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,573
You can take him to the commissary,
116
00:04:49,584 --> 00:04:52,673
or any of the communal areas
on the third floor.
117
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- Thank you.
- He's in Room 11B.
118
00:04:54,677 --> 00:04:56,124
- Thank you.
- Thanks so much.
119
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,780
- Do not leave the third floor.
- Okay.
120
00:05:00,815 --> 00:05:02,298
Dope.
121
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,331
Maybe he's hard of hearing.
122
00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:18,469
Should we just try to go in?
123
00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,229
Let me try something first.
124
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,642
Looks like I'm the magician
125
00:05:25,643 --> 00:05:27,883
even though you're the one
wearing that hat.
126
00:05:27,884 --> 00:05:31,055
Okay, I think the door
was just unlocked.
127
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,952
Saul? Saul Borowitz?
128
00:05:36,953 --> 00:05:38,849
I'm your 16th cousin Ilana Wexler.
129
00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,849
Oh, my God.
130
00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:42,435
Oh, my God.
131
00:05:42,436 --> 00:05:43,883
No!
132
00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,469
No, no, no, no.
133
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,814
No. Oh, God.
134
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:51,676
I knew I shouldn't have stopped
at Sephora before I came here!
135
00:05:51,677 --> 00:05:54,849
I'm gonna cover his face up.
This is too weird.
136
00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:57,297
- Gotcha!
- Oh, my God.
137
00:05:57,298 --> 00:05:59,869
Works every time.
138
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,834
You know, you must be
one of those Genes&Me kids.
139
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:03,883
I can see the resemblance. Look.
140
00:06:03,884 --> 00:06:06,124
That's me as a horny teenager.
141
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,607
See the hair?
142
00:06:07,608 --> 00:06:09,021
I guess.
143
00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:10,573
Have a seat.
144
00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:12,849
- Wow.
- Great fun, huh?
145
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:15,021
Yes. Wild. Wild.
146
00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:16,883
Very scary.
147
00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:18,193
So, like I said, I'm Ilana.
148
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:20,124
And this is my, um...
149
00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:21,918
Oh, God. She's my everything.
150
00:06:21,919 --> 00:06:23,618
But, you know what, I'll just
boil it down to soulmate.
151
00:06:23,629 --> 00:06:25,141
Let's... Let's just
leave it at soulmate.
152
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,229
I'm Abbi.
153
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,435
Nice to meet you both.
154
00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:29,538
So, Saul, I'm applying
to graduate school,
155
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:32,538
and I'm writing my personal essay
about inherited trauma.
156
00:06:33,953 --> 00:06:36,400
For example, I experience
anxiety diarrhea
157
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:39,297
- three to eight times daily.
- Ay, yi, yi, yi.
158
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,607
Now, do you think
that somatic expression
159
00:06:42,608 --> 00:06:45,849
tracks back to your horrific experience
160
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,400
somehow, for sure?
161
00:06:47,401 --> 00:06:50,055
No.
162
00:06:50,056 --> 00:06:53,952
I'm gonna write "possible connection."
163
00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:55,814
Okay. So, tell me everything.
164
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,883
I want to hear
about mental illness history,
165
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,331
stories from the old country,
Nazi shit, anything.
166
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,814
Tell you what.
167
00:07:02,815 --> 00:07:06,297
I'll tell you everything... the whole
family, relatives, everything...
168
00:07:06,298 --> 00:07:08,538
if you'll take me out of here
for a little while.
169
00:07:08,539 --> 00:07:11,435
I've been cooped up here
so long, and you know what?
170
00:07:11,436 --> 00:07:13,321
The food here is horse shit.
171
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:15,307
Well, the woman downstairs
said we could take you
172
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,607
wherever you want on this floor.
173
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:18,814
Ah, come on. It's so strict down there.
174
00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:22,736
I-I'm sorry, Saul. We can't. I
mean, we're just following orders.
175
00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:25,573
Well, I've heard that one before.
176
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,297
Oooooooh!
177
00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:29,435
Okay, okay. We're getting you
out of here right now!
178
00:07:29,436 --> 00:07:31,193
Wow!
179
00:07:32,677 --> 00:07:35,607
Yes! Yes.
180
00:07:35,608 --> 00:07:37,366
Oh, uh... this guy had an accident.
181
00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:39,366
Shit was everywhere.
We gotta get rid of the rug.
182
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,159
Yep. We're doing it.
183
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,574
Getting him out!
184
00:07:43,609 --> 00:07:46,557
Oh, man.
185
00:07:46,568 --> 00:07:48,533
Okay. I got... I can't do this anymore.
186
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,847
- Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Ready?
- Alright. Okay.
187
00:07:50,858 --> 00:07:52,119
- Shit! Shit!
- God...
188
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,498
Saul! Saul! Are you okay?!
189
00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,119
Great work, girls.
190
00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:58,464
Smell that New York air.
191
00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,222
It's like garbage. I love it!
192
00:08:00,223 --> 00:08:03,429
Oh, come on.
193
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,464
So let's get you some real food and
get into some real family history.
194
00:08:06,465 --> 00:08:07,878
For example, I want to know...
195
00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:10,016
were your parents
mentally ill, like mine?
196
00:08:10,017 --> 00:08:11,705
Listen... Before we get to that...
197
00:08:11,706 --> 00:08:13,567
Could you guys take me to a shoemaker?
198
00:08:13,568 --> 00:08:15,774
- Of course, Saul.
- Good.
199
00:08:15,775 --> 00:08:18,429
We'll do you one better.
200
00:08:23,844 --> 00:08:25,311
Ooh! That looks so nice.
201
00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:27,291
Good.
202
00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:29,912
Okay, Saul, now that
I've got you in pleasure,
203
00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:33,360
interview question number one...
what does post-traumatic
204
00:08:33,361 --> 00:08:35,257
stress disorder mean to you?
205
00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:38,636
Look, they have high tops.
I'll be right back.
206
00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:41,602
He is too cute.
207
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:42,912
You hear him...
208
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,810
What?
209
00:08:44,821 --> 00:08:46,388
I'm just sending a selfie to Leslie.
210
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:49,947
Cute. I just, um...
211
00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:53,785
I forgot about, uh... you know, uh...
212
00:08:56,356 --> 00:08:57,528
Girls!
213
00:08:57,529 --> 00:09:00,390
I found it... a dope-ass pair.
214
00:09:02,839 --> 00:09:04,528
I love these shoes.
215
00:09:04,529 --> 00:09:06,390
- I love them, too.
- They look amazing on you.
216
00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:10,148
- You hungry? Where do you want to eat?
- What about Red Hook?
217
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,813
Red Hook is kind of hard
to get to, right?
218
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,805
- Well, we can always take the...
- Shut up, Saul!
219
00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,148
♪ Hello ♪
220
00:09:18,149 --> 00:09:19,355
What, dude?
221
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,493
Alan motherfucking Cumming.
222
00:09:23,494 --> 00:09:25,459
Oh, my God.
223
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:26,804
Who is that?
224
00:09:26,805 --> 00:09:28,804
- Alan Cumming!
- Saul!
225
00:09:28,805 --> 00:09:30,666
Alan Cumming... the magical, pansexual,
226
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,148
New York City party boi-nymph
227
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:33,873
- in the beautiful flesh!
- I have chills.
228
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,804
Okay, should we follow him?
229
00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,321
I mean, I think we have to.
230
00:09:37,322 --> 00:09:38,976
What? I'm starving!
231
00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:40,838
Okay, it is not about you
right now, honey.
232
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,838
Saul, we're talking about Alan Cumming
233
00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:44,390
from... from "Romy and Michelle,"
234
00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:46,134
from "The Anniversary Party,"
from "The Good Wife,"
235
00:09:46,145 --> 00:09:48,700
from "Spice World" fame, Saul.
236
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:51,557
I mean, Alan Cumming created his
own perfume line called "Cumming."
237
00:09:51,568 --> 00:09:53,666
Is that LOL genie or what?
238
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:55,183
I'm wearing it right now.
239
00:09:55,184 --> 00:09:58,010
Saul, I swear to Adonai,
240
00:09:58,011 --> 00:10:00,010
whatever Alan Cumming has
in store for today,
241
00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,504
- you will be titillated by it.
- Yes.
242
00:10:01,515 --> 00:10:03,286
He represents the real New York, okay?
243
00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:05,700
The... The pre-9/11,
pre- "Sex in the City,"
244
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:08,045
Basquiat, Keith Haring New York.
245
00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:10,355
The only Haring I'm interested
in is pickled herring.
246
00:10:10,356 --> 00:10:12,252
And as soon as we can
get to that, I am fine.
247
00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:14,217
You got yourself a deal.
Got yourself a deal.
248
00:10:14,218 --> 00:10:16,010
- We'll make it happen.
- All right!
249
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:18,023
Come on, Saul.
We gotta catch up with him. Hurry it up.
250
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,066
- Alright.
- Alright. We're gonna catch up.
251
00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:23,915
Giddy-up, Saul! Come on!
We got it, Saul.
252
00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:25,206
- Shit, shit!
- Here we go.
253
00:10:25,217 --> 00:10:27,010
- We're losing him.
- Okay. Alright.
254
00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:28,355
We got...
255
00:10:28,356 --> 00:10:29,976
Drag brunch! Drag brunch!
256
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,390
- We must! We must!
- We must?
257
00:10:31,391 --> 00:10:32,631
We must! We must!
258
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,838
Okay.
259
00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:35,528
- Come on, brother!
- Here we go.
260
00:10:35,529 --> 00:10:37,528
♪ You're our guest ♪
261
00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:38,942
♪ You're our guest ♪
262
00:10:38,943 --> 00:10:41,528
♪ Jiggly Caliente is the best ♪
263
00:10:41,529 --> 00:10:43,907
♪ Tuck your dick between your legs ♪
264
00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:46,735
♪ And shake those unfeasibly
large breasts ♪
265
00:10:46,736 --> 00:10:49,390
♪ A generous pour, contours and curves ♪
266
00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:52,045
♪ All the drinks that you deserve ♪
267
00:10:52,046 --> 00:10:54,528
♪ We are dressed in all couture ♪
268
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,252
♪ Just ask our queen, Sasha Velour ♪
269
00:10:57,253 --> 00:11:00,079
♪ Undo your belt, loosen your pants ♪
270
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,873
♪ Tip your waitress, she's freelance ♪
271
00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:08,631
♪ Our mimosa pours will
always past the test ♪
272
00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:11,528
♪ Come on and bring your nephew ♪
273
00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:14,666
♪ Apply your blush
and then you'll pass the test ♪
274
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,079
♪ Touch my chest ♪
275
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,217
♪ You're our guest ♪
276
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,942
Yes!
277
00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:25,390
Can I take your order, baby?
278
00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,217
Yes. Can I get a coffee
with a side of you?
279
00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:29,562
- Wooo!
- Oh!
280
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,976
Sau-ul.
281
00:11:30,977 --> 00:11:33,217
Looks like I got a fresh one, mm-hmm?
282
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,045
- I love this place.
- Thank you.
283
00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:37,942
And I love money,
so make sure y'all tip, okay?
284
00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:39,183
- Yes.
- I'll be back, doll.
285
00:11:39,184 --> 00:11:40,217
Okay. Love it.
286
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,942
Oof! That was good.
287
00:11:46,943 --> 00:11:49,183
Oh, my God, Ilana. He's at the bar.
288
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,666
- We have to go pay our respects.
- Okay.
289
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,424
- Let's vape and loosen up a little bit.
- Okay. Thanks.
290
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,804
Oh, Saul, this is a marijuana pen.
291
00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:06,286
Ooh, sorry.
You probably don't want that.
292
00:12:06,287 --> 00:12:07,700
Why shouldn't I get high?
293
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:13,321
- Yeah, go for it.
- Get ripped, 'cuz.
294
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,666
You can't get off unless you cough!
295
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,631
That's for damn sure.
296
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:23,148
Conga time!
297
00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:25,079
Ooh, come on, girls.
298
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,838
Oh, my gosh, Abbi,
his friend just left him,
299
00:12:26,839 --> 00:12:28,285
leaving him all alone at the bar.
300
00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:31,010
Oh, my God. It's now or never, dude.
Come on.
301
00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:41,942
It's a bare... with a hint of lavender.
302
00:12:48,062 --> 00:12:49,387
Hello.
303
00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:51,252
Hi.
304
00:12:51,253 --> 00:12:53,700
Um, Mr. Cumming, um...
305
00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:58,010
we just want to say
how big of fans we are.
306
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,010
- Um...
- Yes.
307
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,804
Thank you so much
for bringing us here today.
308
00:13:03,677 --> 00:13:04,838
For bringing you?
309
00:13:04,839 --> 00:13:06,528
We followed you for, like, 13 blocks.
310
00:13:06,529 --> 00:13:07,638
Cool.
311
00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,045
- It's really cool.
- It is cool.
312
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:10,735
I think it's kind of cool.
313
00:13:10,736 --> 00:13:12,355
So you're a couple?
314
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:13,528
No.
315
00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:14,907
We're just best friends forever.
316
00:13:14,908 --> 00:13:17,321
Oh, it's just... the hat.
317
00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:20,217
No, we actually just brought
Ilana's 16th cousin,
318
00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:22,528
uh, 'cause he's a Holocaust survivor.
319
00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:24,252
Oh, really? That's incredible.
320
00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:26,631
- My cousin.
- We really need to cherish our elders
321
00:13:26,632 --> 00:13:28,321
and hear their stories.
322
00:13:28,322 --> 00:13:29,424
You want to meet him?
323
00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:30,942
- Sure.
- Yeah, he's here.
324
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,252
You've got to meet
my 16th cousin, Alan Cumming.
325
00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:36,183
- He's great.
- He's right over there.
326
00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:37,602
Where is he?
327
00:13:39,322 --> 00:13:40,735
- Abbi, look!
- No!
328
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,045
Saul! No!
329
00:13:46,635 --> 00:13:48,811
- Saul!
- Saul!
330
00:13:48,812 --> 00:13:50,756
Saul! Saul!
331
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:52,318
Oh, my God.
332
00:13:52,329 --> 00:13:55,069
- He's gone for fucking ever!
- Okay, okay.
333
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,230
Dude, we'll just see
where the bus stops next.
334
00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:58,617
Okay.
335
00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:05,356
- I can't read a fucking bus map.
- No, me either. Okay.
336
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,038
We cannot be losing Holocaust survivors!
337
00:14:07,049 --> 00:14:09,428
Not now that the world
is gaining Nazis somehow!
338
00:14:09,439 --> 00:14:11,024
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
339
00:14:11,035 --> 00:14:14,214
Where would a Holocaust survivor go?
Um...
340
00:14:14,225 --> 00:14:15,598
Okay, okay. Think, think, think.
341
00:14:15,599 --> 00:14:17,736
Um, pickled herring. Um...
342
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:19,322
Zabar's!
343
00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:20,632
Yes!
344
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:21,736
Shit! My hat, dude!
345
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,253
- Leave the hat!
- No!
346
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,080
It's not that simple!
347
00:14:29,461 --> 00:14:32,529
To the mayo-based salads.
348
00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:35,080
Saul? Saul Borowitz?
349
00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,425
Oh, excuse me, excuse me.
350
00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:38,322
Have you seen an elderly gentleman,
351
00:14:38,323 --> 00:14:40,942
like yay high?
352
00:14:40,943 --> 00:14:43,667
He's also very high as in stoned.
353
00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,425
Oh, he's also wearing brightly colored
354
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,149
- LeBron high tops.
- Yes.
355
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:49,011
I don't think so. Sorry.
356
00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,250
Shit.
357
00:14:50,261 --> 00:14:51,725
Okay. Maybe we check down here...
358
00:14:51,736 --> 00:14:53,149
Wait, Ilana. Okay.
359
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:56,908
Um, I'm never up here,
and... and the babka is insane.
360
00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:58,667
We got to get some while we're here.
361
00:14:58,668 --> 00:15:00,184
I will get some whitefish salad.
362
00:15:00,185 --> 00:15:02,046
Hey, can I get a pound
of whitefish salad please?
363
00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:04,205
And we'll take that to go. We're
kind of in a hurry. Thank you.
364
00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:06,322
Okay, dude. Where else would
a Holocaust survivor go?
365
00:15:15,219 --> 00:15:17,667
Wow, we really got lost in there.
366
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:19,736
Well, you can't rush through.
367
00:15:19,737 --> 00:15:21,080
No, no.
368
00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:22,563
The resilience of the Jewish people
369
00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:24,529
- is just astounding.
- Yeah.
370
00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:27,468
We got to keep educating
ourselves, you know.
371
00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:29,701
Truly never forget. Never forget.
372
00:15:29,702 --> 00:15:31,322
- Shit!
- Saul!
373
00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:33,701
Oh, my God. Idiots!
374
00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:35,701
Saul?!
375
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,253
Saul?!
376
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,391
Okay, where else might an old Jew go?
377
00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:41,977
A sale.
378
00:15:41,978 --> 00:15:43,391
Genius. Jew magnet!
379
00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,667
Yes!
380
00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:50,303
Just can't pass up a sale like that.
381
00:15:50,314 --> 00:15:51,839
No, I mean, you find the best stuff
382
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,391
- when you're not looking.
- That's right.
383
00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:54,679
I mean, we weren't trying to shop.
384
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:56,268
- We had to.
- We had to.
385
00:15:56,279 --> 00:15:58,253
You don't find great clothes.
Great clothes find you.
386
00:15:58,254 --> 00:15:59,736
- Exactly.
- Damn it! Saul!
387
00:15:59,737 --> 00:16:01,391
Oh, my God. What is wrong with us?
388
00:16:01,392 --> 00:16:02,942
I don't know.
I think we smoked too much weed.
389
00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:04,638
We got to go back
to the assisted living facility.
390
00:16:04,649 --> 00:16:06,057
It's getting late, it's getting dark.
391
00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:07,816
Yeah, you're right.
Also we need our licenses.
392
00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:09,391
- Ugh. Good point.
- Geez.
393
00:16:23,032 --> 00:16:24,115
Hi...
394
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,391
Doris.
395
00:16:26,392 --> 00:16:29,425
There's no delicate way to put this,
396
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:31,273
but, um...
397
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:35,080
we lost Saul, and we can't find him,
398
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,770
and we looked all over,
399
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,770
all the fuck over,
and we can't find him,
400
00:16:38,771 --> 00:16:42,667
and we're really, really, really sorry.
401
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,736
Ooh. No disrespect.
402
00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:48,254
- He's at Ikea.
- What?
403
00:16:48,265 --> 00:16:49,563
How do you... How do you know that?
404
00:16:49,564 --> 00:16:52,046
When he breaks out,
he always goes to IKEA.
405
00:16:52,047 --> 00:16:53,356
That's what he does.
406
00:16:53,357 --> 00:16:54,632
That's... Well...
407
00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:56,287
- That's hilarious.
- Okay.
408
00:16:56,288 --> 00:16:58,839
Didn't I tell you not to leave
the third floor with him?
409
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,391
- You did mention that.
- I didn't really hear it.
410
00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:03,667
I feel like that was
more directed to my...
411
00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:04,805
friend, to be honest.
412
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:06,287
Okay.
413
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:10,115
Um, so you guys got it from here or...
414
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:14,011
And... And... And...
And we could just take...
415
00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:16,115
We'll just take our licenses
back real quick,
416
00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,184
and then we'll just be like,
"Great meeting ya".
417
00:17:19,495 --> 00:17:20,737
No.
418
00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,425
Go get him.
419
00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:27,115
Okay, um...
420
00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:29,184
Do you think that we
can leave our bags...
421
00:17:29,185 --> 00:17:30,218
Now.
422
00:17:30,219 --> 00:17:32,356
- We'll take them.
- Yeah.
423
00:17:32,357 --> 00:17:33,460
See you later.
424
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,046
Saul?
425
00:17:38,527 --> 00:17:41,123
- Saul?!
- Oh, my God, Abbi. He's here.
426
00:17:41,134 --> 00:17:43,942
Oh, my gosh, Saul, we've been
looking everywhere for you!
427
00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,494
God!
428
00:17:45,495 --> 00:17:47,494
Wow.
429
00:17:47,495 --> 00:17:50,701
You know, y-you come in for
one thing, and... and...
430
00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:52,839
Like your cousin,
the Holocaust survivor.
431
00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:56,253
Before you take me back,
432
00:17:56,254 --> 00:17:59,460
how about some Swedish meatballs?
433
00:17:59,461 --> 00:18:02,460
Mm. I mean, you know I'm in.
434
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,356
You can leave the hat in the cart.
435
00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:17,391
- These are so good.
- Told ya.
436
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:20,356
So what's up with the IKEA fetish, Saul?
437
00:18:20,357 --> 00:18:22,080
Well...
438
00:18:22,081 --> 00:18:24,874
when I escaped from the camp,
439
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,736
I wound up in Sweden,
440
00:18:27,737 --> 00:18:30,287
and those people,
the... the Swedish people,
441
00:18:30,288 --> 00:18:32,253
they were so good to me.
442
00:18:32,254 --> 00:18:35,287
And their furniture was so elegant.
443
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:38,701
So this is like, um, retail therapy.
444
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,551
Makes sense.
445
00:18:40,562 --> 00:18:43,136
Well, we had a great day with you.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
446
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:45,011
We learned so much from you, Saul.
447
00:18:45,012 --> 00:18:46,908
And... And also, the, um...
448
00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:48,942
Holocaust Memorial Museum of New York.
449
00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:50,080
We just stopped by.
450
00:18:50,081 --> 00:18:51,391
You know my motto...
451
00:18:51,392 --> 00:18:53,011
Never forget.
452
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:54,667
Also...
453
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,529
- don't remind me.
- Yeah.
454
00:18:56,530 --> 00:19:00,011
And you look a great deal
like my father.
455
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:01,701
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. Yeah.
456
00:19:01,702 --> 00:19:04,609
Really? It's all about...
It's all about the eyes...
457
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:05,793
The moustache.
458
00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:14,572
Oh, my... God.
459
00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:15,911
Okay.
460
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,990
Let me talk to you for one...
one quick sec.
461
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,345
Okay. So, um...
462
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:24,031
I, um... I feel like I gave, um,
463
00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:27,938
this... this guy, like,
a good go of it today.
464
00:19:27,939 --> 00:19:32,524
And I-I just don't think
that it's really me.
465
00:19:32,525 --> 00:19:34,765
O-Okay.
466
00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:36,972
I mean, I-I-I really
appreciate the gesture.
467
00:19:36,973 --> 00:19:38,593
Like, it was so nice
that you would think of me...
468
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,351
- It's totally fine.
- But, like, it's just not my...
469
00:19:40,352 --> 00:19:42,560
Abbi... Abbi, listen.
I thought it looked cute on you.
470
00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:45,604
But you're much cuter without it.
471
00:19:49,214 --> 00:19:51,076
Sweet relief.
472
00:19:51,077 --> 00:19:53,076
Oh, my God.
473
00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,558
I feel so much better.
474
00:19:57,043 --> 00:19:58,704
"It's not about the hideous hat."
475
00:19:58,715 --> 00:20:00,783
It's about the head that wears it.
476
00:20:00,794 --> 00:20:02,621
I couldn't help but wonder,
477
00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:06,739
I used to think being Jewish
meant IBS, Tay-Sachs,
478
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:11,369
"inherited trauma,
and childhood contact lenses."
479
00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:16,524
"But now I know being Jewish
is about being resilient,"
480
00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:18,593
having the strength
to survive the Holocaust
481
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,685
in perpetual exile,
as well as being able
482
00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:24,413
to carry a stag table
to the parking lot of an IKEA
483
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,027
"at 91 years old."
484
00:20:31,214 --> 00:20:33,593
"And I hope you have the strength"
485
00:20:33,594 --> 00:20:35,524
to accept this little Jew
486
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,765
into your Psychology Gradate program.
487
00:20:37,766 --> 00:20:39,282
"Shalom."
488
00:20:47,052 --> 00:20:48,949
Yeah, I'm getting in.
489
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,203
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
490
00:20:51,214 --> 00:20:53,593
Oh, my God.
491
00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:55,076
Cute as hell.
492
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:01,381
Are you performers?
493
00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:02,925
No. Why?
494
00:21:02,936 --> 00:21:04,693
The... hat.
495
00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:07,693
Oh, this? No, this is a style choice.
496
00:21:07,694 --> 00:21:12,313
Usually, I'm pro-choice, but I
would abort this if I could.
497
00:21:12,324 --> 00:21:14,606
The hat... I'd burn it.
34677
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