All language subtitles for The Problem With People (2024)-e

I'm not falling for it.

Exactly!

- ...which the
South Koreans claim was
an unprovoked attack

by the North Koreans.

- ...what is now
the fifth week of violence
between Palestinians

and Israelis...

- I'm sure it's only a matter of
time before they have that
sorted out huh?

- Tottenham fans
pelting the Chelsea fans
with bottles and

accumulated rubbish.

- ...between
Republicans and Democrats,
with even

some fisticuffs and shoving...

- Have they all just gone mad?!

- Tottenham or the Americans?
- The whole feckin' lot of them!

- ...Pakistan
blaming India for the renewed...

- Ah for fuck sake!

Do they even know what
they're fighting about anymore?

- Well...
- What is it they want?

Could they even tell
you if you asked them?

- Well there are many historical
and geopolitical
factors at work...

- Don't be gettin'
wise with me now son!

I'm dying you know.
- Ah, you're not dying at all!

- No?!

Well I'm not lying here because
I'm turning twenty feckin'
one, am I?!

- Ah, you're all right.

- Who am I to talk, sure we're
no better than those
feckers on the telly.

- You and me?!
- Our family.

The whole lot of us.

The whole, sorry story.

Did I ever tell you about
me grandfather?

- Did you now?
Let me think, eh...

- Me father's father...
- And the brother.

- That's right!

As close as close could be,
until his brother sailed to
America and they never

spoke again, not a word.

Generation after generation,
forbidden we were to even
speak of the American

family and for what?! Some petty
argument a century ago.

So many wasteful years,
shameful!

- I want you to do
something for me...
- A cup of tea!

- Quiet!

Listen to me now!

I want you to make
things right, son.

I want you to find our American
family and make things right.

- All right Da, I will,
you have my word on it.

- Now, I want you to
call them now!

- What do you mean "now"?

- How much time
do you think I've got left?

- I don't even know...
- There was a cousin
on that side...

Joseph, I believe, had a son
your age, give or take,
called Barry.

Made quite a name for
himself over there in New York.

Very successful he was too.

Your man Paddy down in
Shanagarry, he sent us a
magazine article about him,

do you recall that?
- No.

- Well, he did!
- I'm not arguing.

- The point being, is this fella
would be the current
descendant of the American

side of the family.

Barry, last name
would be Gorman, same as us.

And it's him you need to find.

- Look, I, I, I, I
wouldn't even...

- Ah Jaysus, do they not have
telephone directories
in America?!?

- Yeah, of course they do...
- Then just do this for me lad.

The last request of a dying man.

- All right, all right Dad,
I'll do it, okay.

- Thank you.

- Oh, that cup of tea would be
grand when you're coming back.

- Jesus!

Jaysus Aine, you
frightened the life out of me!

- I heard himself was
dying, so I came to say goodbye.

- But he doesn't want to see
you! We never liked you.

- I know, that's
why I came to say goodbye.

- Oh!

- I heard
you were dying.

So I came to say goodbye.

- Alright then, that's grand...

Goodbye!

- Cock sucker!

You know who did do it,
they're trying to fuck with you!

- No they're not,
they're just...

- Oh yeah, they are,
they're tryna low ball you.

Listen to me, listen to me.

There's a reason people come to
us, because we build faster,
we build better

and by the way, a project this
size, what are you kidding me!?

- First of all,
why are you out of breath?

- Just getting my steps in,

I got 2,300 more to do.

- In the house?!

- Yeah, because once around the
couch is like 11 steps.

So that means I only
have to do like...
- Okay, Dad, that's insane!

When Dr. Gittleman
said to exercise, I don't...

- Hold on hon, the other phone's
ringing now.

- Really!?
Who calls you on the landline?

- Telemarketers and
wrong numbers.

Hello.
Not interested.

- Hello, I'm wondering
if I have the right number?

- Oh, I seriously doubt it.

- Are you by any chance

the Barry Gorman, whose
father may or may not

have been called Joseph and who
has relatives in Ireland who
he's never spoken to?

- Who is this?
- Well, if you are him,
I am your cousin.

Sort of, on the Irish
side, if you hadn't guessed.

- Hold on one second... Sweetie,
I'm gonna call you back.

- Bye.
- Yeah.

- Do you know how many Barry
Gormans there are in
the New York City

telephone directory?

Would you care to wager a guess?

- No.

- 132, isn't that amazing?

Luckily, you're in the top 20,

so fair play to you, sir.

- Okay, yeah, I'm still a little
bit... I'm sorry... what is,
what is your name?

- Forgive me, did I not say?

I am your cousin Ciaran.

Last name Gorman, same as you.

I'm calling on behalf
of my father.

- And you're here in New York?

- Oh, no, no, no,

although I've always wanted
to go, you know.

Looks enchanting,
all those skyscrapers.

You must never tire looking up.

No, I'm calling from
the next parish over,

Ireland.

- Okay!

The reason I'm reaching out
is that my father,

Fergus is his name,

last name, Gorman.
- I understand.

- The thing is, my father,
well he's been unwell and

he is not a young man.

- I see, and how is it
that I can help?

- Oh nothing like that!
No, no, no, no, no.

The reason I'm calling is,

are you familiar with
the story of the

grandfathers, the two brothers?

- Yes... vaguely.

- Ah, me too, yeah.

But all I know for certain is

that there was a falling out.

- Yes.

- And, well, it's my dad's wish
that we can rectify the
situation, you know, make

peace between the
two sides of the family.

- Okay?!

- You know, well that's why I'm
calling, to extend an olive
branch as it were.

- All right, well, sure!

All right, yeah, that
sounds nice.

Okay!

- So maybe someday, if we ever
find ourselves on the same
side of the ocean,

we could perhaps raise a glass
in friendship and wipe
the slate clean?

- Yeah, sure.
Okay.

That sounds nice.

- Right, well,

I won't take up any
more your time.

- Okay, all right,
well, nice to meet you.

- Well then, I suppose I'll
be going. Godspeed.

- You too Aine,
Godspeed yourself as well.

- You take care now,
I won't be seeing you.

- Hands down the best
sex I ever had.

- Just now?!

- No, not just now!

Don't be thick!

It was a lifetime ago,
before I met your ma, of course.

Though I always suspected your
ma had an inkling.

She never cared much for Aine.

- I remember.
- That'd be why.

So how did we do?
- What?!

- The yank, did you
manage to track him down?

- Yes, I did.
- Grand.

- Bit of a needle in a haystack,
actually.

But I managed to find
your man Barry.

And he proved to
be quite amenable, so...

- So when does he arrive?

- What?!

- When does he get here?
When do I get to meet him?

- No, we didn't go that far,
Jaysus no, I mean, we sort of
agreed in principle.

- In principle, Jesus, Mary and
Joseph, lad, I asked you to do
one thing for me!

- You asked me to
find him, not invite him over.

- Well of course invite him
over, how else am I
gonna meet him?

- We don't even know the man!

He can't just drop
everything and...
- I'm dying.

- Stop saying that!
You're grand.

- Tis far from grand I am.

Now you get back down there and
for God's sake get
the fella over!

- Wow!
- Right.

I mean, I never heard of the guy
my entire life, now he calls me
twice in five minutes.

- And he wants
you to just go to Ireland?!

- Yeah!
- And you don't think
it's like a scam?

- Oh, believe me, that's what I
thought, but nah, he
knew too much,

stuff I remember
from letters my father had.

- Is he asleep?

- Oh, yeah, he's out
like a light.

My God, he's beautiful!

- He's so...

Every day he does something
new that just blows my mind.

Please don't say it.

- I'm not.

- I just don't understand how
she could walk out on you
when you have a brand

new baby.
- Jesus!

- I'm sorry, I don't.
- Sshh!

- I'm sorry, I don't.

- Nobody walked out,
it was a mutual decision.

- Yeah, but to
raise a child by yourself...

- I'm the one who
wanted a child.
- I know.

- Rachel never wanted kids,
I knew that upfront.

This is what I chose,
it will be fine.

- But yeah, but...
- I will be fine!

Anyway, I think you should go.

- Where?!
- Ireland.

- Are we back on me now?
- Yes, we are.

I think you should go.
- To Ireland?

- Yeah.
- Why?

- His father's dying.
- I don't know the guy!

- He's your cousin!
- So?

And besides, there's too many
things going on here anyway,
this 57th Street

deal is a monstrosity and I'm
telling you, if we don't break
ground by the first of the year

- Dad.
- and the city is being a total
asshole on the zoning rights...

- Dad, I got it covered.

- I know you do.

- What did every one
of your doctors tell you to do?

- Rest!
And exercise.

- Exactly.
- Which, to me,
pick one or the other.

- Well, this is perfect.

You get a little vacation.
- In Ireland!?

- Oh my God!

- What?!

- It's like that movie!

- What movie?
- Your favourite movie.

Oh my God, it's exactly you.

Divorced guy goes
to a little town in Ireland.

- He wasn't divorced, he worked
for an oil company, he
went there on

business and by the way that was
not Ireland, that was Scotland!

- Whatever, what's
the difference?

- Two totally
separate countries.

- You always said
you wanted to go.
- Not for real!

No I said it like, I'd love
to go sometime, like that!

- Well here it is.

Maybe, you know, there's some
cosmic reason this call came
right now, at this

moment in your life, divorce,
heart attack and then out
of the blue this?

- I don't think so.

- What's the worst that
could happen?

- I don't want to go.
- The man's dying!

- Hello?
- Okay, I'm coming.

- Good
afternoon and welcome aboard
our nonstop flight to Dublin,

please make yourself
comfortable, as we are scheduled
for take-off in the next

10 minutes.

- In
preparation for take-off

we ask all passengers to
please take their seats.

- Champagne?
- Sure, thank you.

- Are you visiting Ireland for
business or pleasure?

- Well, that's
what we're gonna find out.

- Ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to Ireland.

Local time is 10:45.

- The next train to depart
from platform 2 will be the 1400
hours Iarnród Eireann

train to Ennis, calling at
Newbridge, Monasterevin,
Portarlington, Portlaoise,

Ballybrophy, Templemore,
Thurles, Limerick and Ennis.

- You wouldn't happen to
Barry by any chance would you?

Well...

Ahhh, sure we could
be brothers!

Welcome home.

Let me take that.
- Thank you.

- Oh, you're gonna drive?!

Okay!

- Is it your first
time in Ireland?
- Yeah, first time, never been.

- Wonderful, wonderful.

- It's so, so pretty.

- Yes, yes, it is that.

Unquestionably pretty.
- It's very pretty.

You know what a place like that
would go for in Manhattan?

No, no, I'm saying, you know we
don't have open space
like this and if

we did, I guarantee you somebody
would put up a big high
rise right in the

middle of it and then another
one right next to it, a little
bit higher just to piss off

the people in the first one.
- And why would they do that?!

- No, no they wouldn't, they
wouldn't do that, I was just,
you know, saying that...

I was only codding ye.
- You what?

- I was taking the piss,
you know, having you on.

- Okay.
- I was teasing you.

- Yeah, got it.

- I understood what you
were saying, whilst
pretending I didn't.

- Got it.

Alright, funny, that's good,
that's good.

- Yeah.

It is lovely.
- That's all I was saying.

- I hope you're not offended
that we put you up in town.

- No, please.

- No, it's just, with
me father the way he is.

- Of course, don't be silly.

- Here we are.

- This is nice.

- Well, this way I thought you
could have a rest and, you know,
settle in.

Yeah, it's perfect.

- Ah well, it's not the Ritz
now, you know, but you'll be
comfortable enough.

- This is just perfect.

- Gorman's Funeral Directors,
is that you, is that us?

- Yes it is indeed, yeah.

It was me father's business.

Now it's mine, ah it's a
living you know.

Well, not for our
customers it's not!

- No, not for them.

- Our customers
wouldn't be living...
- They wouldn't, no.

- You wouldn't need
a funeral home if you were...

- Yeah, I got it, yeah.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

You only need to hit it once you
know, we're not the bloody
bells of Ballindooley!

- The what?!

- Is this him, the Yank?

- I can hear you.

- Welcome, welcome.

- Thank you.

- We have your room
all ready for you.
- Okay.

- And plenty of fresh towels.
- Terrific.

- I do hope you like it sir.

- I'm sure it'll be just fine,
thank you.

- I'll take it from here.

- I'll collect you about
half six, right?
- Huh?

- Sorry, six thirty.
- Okay.

- And thank you again, really.
- No problem.

- I'm not one to speak ill of
others, but that's a strange
family you've got.

- Really?
- A sneaky lot.

- Sneaky!?

- He's been very nice
to me so far.

- Okay.

- I'll show you to your room.

- Okay, thank you, all right.

- I'll get it!

- No, no, no,
please, you don't have to...

- Ah! That's how it's
done around here, I'll get it.

Oh, you'll get it.

Aw shit!

So sorry, I must have
fallen asleep.

- Ah not a problem, no,
sure you had quite a journey.

No, no car, are you
not up for a little walk?

- Is it far?
- Ah no, not really.

- Sure, why not?

I gotta get my steps in anyway.
- Your what?

- Steps, I gotta get
my steps, doctor's orders.

10,000 steps a day
I'm supposed to get.
- Jesus, 10,000!

- Which sounds like a lot but
I'll tell you, when I first
started, you get three or

four just walking around the
kitchen, you get three or four.

- Here we are!

Ladies and gentlemen, listen up,
listen up, hey, hey, hey!

Cousin Barry from America.

- Céad míle fáilte,
welcome to Ireland.

- Welcome indeed.

- So nice to have you here.

When are you going back?
I've a parcel you could take
back to my niece, just a

few sausages, a bit of tea bags.

I hear they've shite
tea in America, don't they!

- Welcome to Ireland bro.

- Yeah welcome... This here round's on me.

- John Wayne...

- Barry.
- Okay, hi.

How nice to see you.
- Let him through there lads.

Dad, your great nephew Barry.

All the way from America.
He's come to see you.

- How do you do sir? It is,
it is a pleasure to meet you.

- The pleasure is entirely mine.

A fine looking lad!

- What did he say?

- Oh, he said he
thought you'd be taller.

- I'd like you to hug.

- You know we actually did.
- I did earlier on.

- When he picked me up.
- But I didn't see it!

- Well, we did it.
- Dad, come on.

- We certainly did.
- I'd really like to
see you hug.

- Two hugs
seems like a lot for one day.

- Exactly.
- Hug for feck sake!

- Peace in me lifetime, never
thought I'd live to see it.

Let's seal it with a drink.

Sláinte.

- Here, try this.

It's black pudding.
Blood.

Pig's blood.

- Thank you.

- So you're famous
American cousin Barry.

- Famous in this room only.

- I'm Fiona.
- Hello Fiona.

- Famous only in this
part of the room.

- I can see why.

- Sorry.
- Sorry?

- No, I didn't mean to
sound like...

- Cheers.
- Sláinte.

- Hey, Barry, what about
O'Brien's restaurant on 46th
Street, do you know it?

My sister's boy works there.
- Oh yeah, sure.

- So you know him then, do you?

- No, not the boy, the
restaurant, O'Brien's,
it's very famous.

- O'Brien's is known for the
best steaks and chops I'm told.

- Very good, very good,
but I'll tell you something...

The best steak in New York is a
place in Brooklyn...

- Hey
Brooklyn.

Just a couple of
wise guys from Brooklyn.

- That's the place.

- Tell you what, you guys ever
come to New York, I'll buy
everybody a steak

dinner, on me.
- Oh, the big spender here.

- Do you hear that everybody,
cousin Barry's taking us all to
his New York for a steak dinner.

- Yes?

- Have you ever shot a man?

- Seems like a grand lad,
doesn't he?

- Grand indeed.

Are they his own teeth,
would you say?

- All the way from America,
he's come!

- Jaysus, I'll be back.

- So it's like porridge.
- Padraig.

- Pa-rick.
- Paw-rig, Padraig.

- Rig, rig, Padraig.
- Exactly.

- So you work with Ciaran,
do you, the funeral home?

- Yeah, yeah.

You know, you're the first
American I've ever
met in person.

I mean, I've seen them on the
telly, you know, MTV and Bravo.

Those reality shows you know.
- That's perfect.

You know what, because we're
all exactly like that.

- Really!?
- No, I'm kidding.

I was having you on.

- I see the resemblance,
he's got your sense of humour.

I like your's better.

- Help me up here would you?

A quick word if I may?

- Surely you all know how
delighted I am, in particular to
have our guest from America.

That he should travel halfway
around the world to be here
with us tonight.

- Hear, hear.

- But you might not
quite know why.

Why it matters to me so.

I don't think many
among you know the story.

- Ah Da, we all know it,
yeah, we do, we know it.

- No, we don't actually.

- I'll tell you some other time,
alright.

Please Da, don't tell it.

- Ah come on, let's hear it.

- I will tell it and
you'll listen.

For this story, what's
happened to my family is tragic.

And you need to hear it.

Many years ago, many miles
and countries away from here,

there were two brothers.

There had been other brothers
and sisters too, but
poor cratures,

they all died young
from disease and hunger.

And others died because, well
because people can be fierce
ignorant and cruel.

Their kind was not
welcome where they lived.

In the very place
they were born, their home.

In time their mother
and father passed as well.

And the brothers
found themselves alone.

No one in the world
to care for, but each other.

So with nothing to keep them
there, they set out to make a
new home in America.

For it was there that the
streets were paved with gold,
don't you know.

Well, they travelled days upon
days, until finally they made
their way here to

Ireland, where they booked
passage to cross the Atlantic.

But before they boarded
ship, they stopped in a tavern.

And it's here that the
story takes a turn.

There was a woman!

Isn't there always?

Well, this one brother
he was smitten.

So he follows her,
this redhaired beauty.

And they get to
talking and walking.

Well it come time to set sail.

There was one brother on board
and the other off pursuing
the young lass.

And indeed, the ship
takes to sea.

And the fellow on shore shouts,
"I'll catch the next ship
and meet you there".

But he didn't get
the next ship or the next.

He stayed a lifetime for
his heart had been claimed.

And that young man
would be my grandfather.

- But what became of
his brother?

- Yeah, come on now, tell us.

- Aye, there's the thing.

The brother made it to America
all right, and it's said he
stood at the docks, day

after day, awaiting his
brother's arrival.

But he never did arrive.

I know that my grandfather wrote
letter after letter, begging,
pleading with his

brother to come over.

But his brother was prideful.

They wanted only to be together,
but neither would budge.

And in time, the love between
them soured and became
something else.

Disappointment, then
anger and in the end, disdain.

They never again met, never
again spoke, nor did their
children or their

children's children.

And thus, it has remained.

Until today, when the children
of their children's children
come together at last.

It's mighty easy to fall out,
but the weight of carrying it
forward is not easy at all.

So what's happened here tonight
is a far trickier thing,
a far bigger thing.

- Aw shit!

- We're all the same, aren't we?

Just as we're the same
from whence we've all come.

- Wait...

Does that mean we're
all Jews then?!

- I don't know, who cares!

- I love it here so much!

- You came on a good
day, we play a charity
game on Saturdays.

It's all very friendly.

Yeah, it's quite nice.

It's Gaelic football,
a little different.

- So it's like half
soccer and half rugby?

- Eh, a bit of basketball...

- Oooohhh!

- And wrestling.
- Yeah!

- Come on!

That's the family we're
playing for this weekend.

She lost her
husband a few months back.

She's raising her
children on her own now.

Can't be easy.

- That's what I tell my
daughter, she's got a
six month old.

She's raising him
herself, which is...
- Ah, tough.

Are you all right?
Do you need to go...

- I was getting my steps in.

One forward, one back.

I can stop.

But what about you,
you never wanted kids yourself?

- Me? I suppose I did.

But marriage wasn't
really meant for me.

Nor me wife for that matter!

- Ah, I didn't realize that.

Sorry.

- Whatever it was she was
looking for in a man, she
evidently hadn't found it in me.

Three years, start to finish.

- You know what,
at least you found out early.

I was married 37 years before
that was made clear to me.

- What!?

- Hang on a sec.

Whoa!

- Oh, it's better than steps.

- No kidding!

Holy shit!

This is just spectacular.

You know that right?

- I do indeed.

Do you see right over there?
- Yeah, yeah.

That's where I always meant to
put in a nice little
wooden dock.

- Nice.
- Yeah, nothing fancy.

Just somewhere to sit, take tea,
as I watch the sun set
over the water.

- That sounds like
the life for me.

- Would it not be
a bit uneventful for you?

- Are you kidding!?

Nah, I could totally do this.
Yeah.

- You're a natural.
- I am.

So let me get this straight.

Your great grandfather,
he comes here with nothing.

And somehow he manages to buy
this piece of prime real estate?

- Mm-hmm.

- How smart were those old guys!

- But let me tell you precisely.

He got them to draw the boundary
of the land a few feet
short of the shore.

That way he didn't have to pay
for the most expensive bit,
but he could

still look on it for free.

- Wow!

- Yep.
- We come from clever men.

- That we do.

You see the secret is to
hit the tea just off the boil.

- Ah, okay.

So that's what I've
been doing wrong.

I think I've been lingering.

- Ye-llo.

Ah, Padraig me boy.
What's going on?

No, no, you tell Mrs. Gaffigan
that that was the suit that
Mr. Gaffigan specifically

requested to be buried in!

Run that up to me da will ye?
- Sure, sure.

- No, we are not going to open
the casket again just to
change his suit!

Look, listen to me...

- It's cousin Barry.

Ciaran! Ciaran!

I'm so sorry.

- Could you give me a minute?

- Yeah, sure, sure.

- Be thankful that the good Lord
granted Fergus such a
rich and full life.

- Till the American arrives,
and he's dead within 12 hours.

- It's the grief talking.

- Let us remember these words
written years ago, but surely
could be spoke by

dear Fergus himself.

Death....

- ..is nothing.

Everything remains....

- ..as it was.

Whatever we were to
each other...

..that we are still.

Laugh as we always laugh.

Play....

- ..smile, think of me.

Pray for me.

Let my name be ever the
household word it always was.

Remember, let it be spoken
without effort.

I am but waiting for
you somewhere very near...

..just around the corner.

How we shall laugh at the
trouble of parting, when
we meet again.

- Bloody hell!

- No, no, it's, I'm from Brooklyn,
in New York.

- How you
doing? I'm from Brooklyn.

- No, you haven't got it.

- Jesus!
- Exactly.

- Your father left
half of everything to Barry?!

Who he just met.
- Uh huh.

- Half the house and
half the land?

That's...

That's beautiful.
- Beautiful?!

- Sure, correcting the injustice
of years ago, making the
Americans whole, it's...

It's lovely.
- It's bollocks is what it is.

Does that look like
my father's writing?
- It does, yeah.

- My arse!

Thanks for coming.

That's the Yank for sure!
- What?!

No, how would he
even go about...

- And he was in me
da's room alone.

- Go on, how long
was he in there?
- Long enough to scribble that!

- Ah, would you
listen to you now?!

- I tell you something else.

God forgive me for saying
this out loud.

But who's to say that my da
wasn't still alive when Barry
entered the room?

- Would you stop now!
- I'm serious.

Goes into the room, nobody's
looking, he takes the pillow...

- Now you're talking
utter bollox!
- Ah, am I though?

- What's going on here then?

- Ciaran thinks
cousin Barry killed his father!

- Hey, read that.

- Aw, that's lovely!

- Lovely?!

- The pair of ye.

- Maybe your dad did
you a favour?

He's unburdened ye.

Because all the time I know you,
you've been waiting to get
rid of this place.

- Maybe... but not to go to him!

A rich
American who's gonna buy
ya'll a steak dinner.

- Well, I don't think
he said "ya'll".

- Do you not find it the least
bit curious that he
shows up in Ireland

precisely when he
stands to benefit?

- But you invited him!

- Okay.

But why did he say yes so
quickly? Answer me that.

You can't can you?

- Look, you have
had a difficult few days.

And we all sometimes
say things we don't mean.

And you can tell me to mind my
own business if you like,
but I think you owe

your cousin an apology.

- An apology?
- An apology.

That crack at the
cemetery was a bit harsh.

- It was...

I'm just sayin'.

Listen, I just wanted to
apologise for what I said
in the cemetery.

- Ah, come on.

- No, it was out of order.
- No explanation necessary.

I lost my own father 34 years
ago and I will tell you, I still
miss him every day.

Every single day.

- Can I get you a drink?

- Yeah, why not?

- Very nicely done.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here you go.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

- And about the will?
- What?

- You need to tell him about the
will, it's what your da wanted.

- All right, I suppose
I'll have to.

- When?

- I beg your pardon?
- Well if it were me
I'd tell him today.

Get it done with.

- The nerve of her, huh!

- Well I kind of
think she's right.

- Jesus... the pair of ye!

All right, all right,
I'll tell him today.

- Good for you.

- Would it be all right if I
went to the loo first?

Or would you like to
schedule that for me as well?!

...persecution.

Bloody hell!

- What you know now about Gaelic
football could be written on
the back of a stamp.

- Just a shock,
he looked so well.

- Just let that settle
for a minute.

I'd like a quiet word.

- Excuse me.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

I just wanted you to know that
my father was very fond of you.

My American boy, he called you.

- Ah well, I didn't
know him long.

- No, you didn't.

- But my goodness,
what a special guy he was.

I feel, I feel lucky
to have gotten to meet him.

- Anyway, as you know, it was my
father's dying wish to
make things right.

Bring the family back
together again.
- Right.

- And it was in that spirit that
he made some very specific
requests of his

estate and his
property and of you.

- Me?

- It would honour my father
and my family, if you
would accept this.

- A pipe?

- Oh, his favourite pipe.

He sucked on that
yoke for 30 years or more.

- Seriously, it's very
thoughtful, I don't,
I don't smoke.

- He insisted you
have it, picked it out special!

Something for him
to remember me by, he said.

It would honour him and myself,
if you would accept this.

- Well, thank you.

- Of course, unless you'd rather
have something else?

Like his diary or an old shirt.
- No, no.

- The kettle?

He loved that kettle.

- This is just beautiful.

This -- it's very considerate.

You know what, I'm going to put
it on my desk back home
and use it like a

paperweight or something.
- Grand!

Well if you could just sign at
the top, date here and initial
here, here and here.

- What?!

- Well it just says that you've
taken ownership of the pipe.

- You want me to sign a
document stipulating I'm
inheriting a pipe?

- Yeah, it's for your own
protection really, you know,
what with customs and

international travel
and everything.

- Feels a little bit
excessive, don't you think?

- It's just a pipe!
- That's what I'm saying.

- It's just a pipe.
- It's just a pipe.

- Well then just sign here!
- With all due respect.

The one thing my father taught
me, never sign anything
until it's reviewed by

outside counsel.
- Oh, right.

- Just to be safe.
- Of course.

- Always.
- No, no, I understand.

We'll just have to wait
on the pipe.
- I think maybe that's best.

- Perhaps it was a bit soon to
be discussing such things.

- Perhaps.
- I apologise.

Why don't you hold on to the
pipe, you know, you can
get used to it,

the feel of it and all, okay?

- Sure?!

- Sneaky, feckin' bastard.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Not on your way
in for a nightcap are you?

- No, no, I think I've had
more than my fair share today.

No, I was just
getting my steps in.

- Okay, come,
I'll walk with you.

Make sure you're safe.

- No, no,you don't have to...
- I'm just walking to my car.

- Oh! Okay.

Sorry.
- Sorry?

- I didn't mean to overstep.

- You didn't.

- Okay, no, just because the way
you looked at me, I just
thought maybe I...

- I was smiling,
because that was sweet.

- Okay.

- I'll tell you if you overstep.

I'm not shy.
- Got it.

- Are you carrying a
firearm in there?

- No, you know what that is,
it's a pipe.

That's Fergus' pipe.

Ciaran gave it to me.

- That's lovely.

And you sorted everything out
with him, did you?

About the other matter?

- What other matter?

- Did Ciaran not
discuss anything else with you?

- That motherfucker!

- Can you believe
the balls on this guy?!

- So not only is he screwing
you, he controverts his
father's dying wish?

- Yeah, which
by the way, how about that?

The old man changes his will,
leaves half of everything to me?

- Unbelievable!

- It's unbelievable.

- Wait, how did you
find out, who told you?

- This woman Fiona.

- And is Fiona

the town crazy person?

- No, she's very sweet

and very pretty.

- Really?
- Yes.

And unless I am misreading

this entirely, she's quite
taken with your father.

- Get out of here!

Look at you, there two days,
you got a girl and
lakefront property.

- Haha, first of all,

she's a child, she's like your
age and second of all,

you know I'm not going
to take the property, right?

- Why not?
I mean legally it's half yours.

- I know, but...
- But what are you going
to do with it?

- Exactly.
Although...

- Why should this
asshole keep your half?

- Right?
- The prick!

- Can you imagine...
- Such a beautiful property too.

- I sent you those
pictures, right?
- Incredible, the view.

- Ooh!
- What?

- Ooh!
- What?

- Okay, I want you to
look something up for me.

- Shoot.

- You said he'd
be here at eleven sharp.

- It's not yet eleven.

- You also said he'd be
here yesterday.

- He was feeling poorly
yesterday, so...

- And you believe that did ye?
- And why wouldn't I not?

- Because I don't trust the man.
- I understand that, but...

- Good morning gentlemen.
- Good morning to you...

Now you behave yourself.
How are you doing today?

- Very well indeed.
Morning Ciaran.

- Well gentlemen, I think we're
aware we've got a bit of
a tricky knot to

untangle here.
- Let me make this
easy for everyone.

I'm not gonna take
anything, this is your home.

- But you don't want your half?

- Nah.

- The cottage, the land?

- No, you know what, I'm
genuinely touched by your
father's generosity, truly

I am and I love what he was
trying to do, but I can't accept
this, it's not right.

You stay here, you enjoy
your home as you always have.

- Are you sure about this now?

And you'd sign a legal
document to that effect?

- Oh yeah, wherever
you want, show me where.

- There.
- Here we go,
no questions asked.

Okay?

- Well, I feel like a
proper eejit now.

- Not at all.

- I was gonna come clean, I was.

Well, I'd just lost me
da and I was...

- He was hurt.
- You were hurt.

- Exactly, I was
hurt and there you are...

And we hardly know
you and me father gives you...

- Hey, please, I'd
have felt the same way.

- Really?
- Absolutely.

- Didn't I tell you he
was a good man!

- That he is, that he is.

- Sláinte.
- Sláinte.

- Ah, well I'll be off.

- Thanks Seamus.
- Thank you.

- I'm glad things have
turned out the way they have.

- Hats off to you cousin Barry,
you're a better man than I am.

- Ah come on, not at all,
not at all.

- I feel kinda like
now ye have to take it.

- All right I will.
- What!?

- I'm kidding, I'm
kidding, I was having one on ye.

- That was a good one.

- But I hope you know
that you're always welcome.

Any time.

- I may just take
you up on that.

It sure is lovely here.
- Ah, that it is.

- Which is why I decided
to build here.

- Huh?!

You can't...

- No, no, no, no,
not here, there.

Remember how you told me your
great grandfather never
bought those last few

feet, well guess what?
I did!

Yeah.

Great, just bring it on down,
good, we're right by the water,
as close as you can.

Straight ahead, thank you,
Malachy, Deacon, beautiful.

Nice fellas.

Yeah, yes, I'm thinking of
putting in a nice wooden dock
right around there.

Nothing fancy, just a nice spot
to take my tea and watch the
sun set over the

water and maybe a wall, like a
wall, nice and high, to
protect my view.

Keep out the riff-raff.

Sláinte.

- You dirty...

How is he building
on my feckin' land?

- I assure you he's not
building, he's just moving dirt
round or something.

- Oh, okay.

And can he do that?

- If it's his land he can.
Is it his land?

Then he can.

- It just doesn't seem right.

Does it seem right to you, huh,
that he can come in here, a
foreigner, huh,

and feck around with our land
and our way of life and, and
cause all this, this,

this...
- Acrimony.

- No, no, this, this...
- Rancour.

- Not rancour as much as...

- Malevolence.

Emnity?
- Whatever!

There has to be a
law against it.

- Ah, you mean the anti-rancour
and acrimony statute?

- Yes!
- No.

- What about for
being an arsehole huh?

There must be a law
against that!

- I seem to recall we
have something to that effect.

Yes, yes we do.

- Yeah, yeah, I like this.

Hey kid, Malachy.

Come here.

I think I might be wrong,
let's go higher, like 20%.

You'll figure that out?
- Sure.

- And wider too, 50 feet that
way and again the same that way.

- Okay, so 100 feet...
- You got it boss!

- Yeah.
- You got it, wait a second.

See this?
You finish ahead of schedule...

You get the other half.
- Right you are.

- I'll hold it.
- Where's my half?

- Not in front of the American.
- Give me my 20!

- Alright, alright, let's cease
and desist on all the work.

- Whoa, whoa, wait a second,
what seems to be the problem?

- The problem is, is that this
construction started
without proper permits.

- Oh, I beg to differ.

These were filed yesterday
and valid as of this morning.

- How'd you get this?
- How?

- These take years to get!

- Yeah, well, I made some calls.

- Well, be that as it may, I'm
sorry to say that we have a
serious violation of

local ordinances.

- Oh, is that right?

- Of several
ordinances actually.
- Really?

Which ones?

- Which ordinances?
- Mm-hmm.

- Or which violations?
- Your call.

- Well, I have a full list
if you care to...
- I care to.

- Well, do you know what,
the list itself is back
in the station.

- Oh, that's unfortunate.

- I can go and retrieve
it if you'd like?
- I would like.

- Well... yeah.

I'll go and retrieve it then.

Not so much as a hammer
raised until this is resolved.

- I knew he can be stubborn and
childish, Ciaran, but to
involve the guards!?

- It t'was a low blow alright.

- Violation of local ordinances,
we can all make up fancy words.

- Hey, were we talking with you?

- Your Honor,
my client is totally innocent of
the alleged infractions.

- I've got
your infraction, right here!

- You should be ashamed of
yourself, defiling our natural
beauty like that, shame.

- Ah lay off him Cooney, fair
play as I see it, after what
your man Ciaran did to him?!

- Ahh, everyone knows you've
had it in for that family,
ever since your wife's

funeral when he made
her look like a powdered Beagle!

Well she was no oil painting to
start with, you know.

- Come over here and say
that to my face, Martin Cooney!

- I wouldn't waste the journey!

- If I was 20 years younger,
I swear...

- We're the same
age ye daft looner ye!

- Looks like you're now famous
outside this room as well!

- Apparently.

- I hope you'll be the mature
one now and not let this
escalate any further.

- Me?! What makes
you think that I would ever...

- Mother of Jesus!

- Jesus Christ!

What the fuckin' Jesus...

- I came in to give the floor a
final once over, I turned on the
light and I see...

Oh look what they've done
to the floors!

- There's shit all
over the place.

- How did they get
in here in the first place?

- Bless all...
apart from the fucking Yanks!

- Want to play games
with me pal?

Bring it on!
Bring it on!

- Picked the wrong
Irishman to mess with!

- I got plenty of towels,
thank you.

- Oh my God.

I say, thank you,
I have plenty of...

- Truce.
- Huh?

- Truce.

- What fuckin' truce?!

What do you mean truce?
- I mean enough.

What are we doing, huh?

I mean, this is precisely what
my father was trying to
bring to an end...

And look at us.

We're as bad as the
rest of them.

Can I come in?

- No!

- All right, fair enough.

Well, I just want to
tell you that...

- Okay, come in.

Just come in.

- In honour of my father and
your father, and all the
fathers before,

what do you say we
bring an end to this now?

No, I know, I know, I know,
I was the one that started
it all with you.

And for that I truly apologise.

It wasn't big and it
wasn't clever.

So I get why you struck back at
me and I struck back at
you and you struck

back at me again.

But on and on it goes,
towards what?

What good can come of it?

- Are you playing with
me right now?
- No, no, no, no, I'm not, no.

God, no.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- I'm saying yeah, you're right.

We can do better.

- Ahhhh...

Good man.

- Done.
- Right.

I must say that that bit with
the sheep, that was very good.

- Thank you... man,
those are some filthy creatures!

- Ah Barry, we're all
filthy creatures.

- Huh!

- Hmm.

- What, did you
change your mind already?

- I brought you some
fresh towels.

- Oh, that's okay,
I've got plenty of towels.

- I've already brought them!

- Okay, thank you.

Thank you.

- You know, there's only so many
towels a person can have.

- Can I come in?

- Huh?
Yes, sure, of course.

- Okay, look, this nonsense has
got to stop, yourself and
Ciaran are like a pair

of eejits, you're embarrassing
yourselves, you're
embarrassing the

town, and someone's
gonna get hurt.

I'm not saying
you're entirely to blame...

- I already had
this conversation.
- Hmm?

- He was just here.
- Ciaran, when?

- Like a minute
ago, and we called a truce.

- You did?
- Yes.

We agreed no more
fighting, no more quarrelling...

- That's great, that is
wonderful news.

Good for you.

- Yeah, we decided we're going
to appeal to our better angels.

I'm not sure I have
better angels, but...

- Oh, I think you do.

I've just seen them.

- Ah shit are we gonna kiss now?
- What?

Because, you know what, it's
been a very long time for me.

I'm in pyjamas,
which is not at all...
- I wasn't going to kiss you.

- You weren't.
Okay, well, that's embarrassing.

- You Americans!

- To be fair, I don't know
that's an American thing really,
so much as,

you know, most men.
- Okay. Okay.

Look, I just -- I'm glad that
you've both come to your senses.

I'm proud of you.

- Thank you.

- Can I give you a hug?

Or will that confuse
you further?

- No, it won't
confuse me, I can handle a hug.

- Oh the cagey fucker!

- I hope now I didn't overstep.

- No, no, no, very
glad you came.

- Well, well, well,
isn't this lovely and cosy?

- This is not what you think.

- Was this your plan
all along, huh?
- No, no, no.

- To sleep with my ex wife?
- Not at all... wait, what?!

- And you think that
will break me?

- Stop talking shite.

Nobody slept with anybody.

- Wait, wait, go back, go back,
what do you mean your ex wife?

Wait a sec, that's
who you were married to!

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Like you didn't know!

- How the hell would
I know that?

- I didn't tell him.
- Why not?

- Why would I?
- How would you
not tell me that?

- It's ancient history!

- There's like 12
people in the whole town.

You didn't think it was worth
mentioning that the guy you
married is the one guy I know?

- I'm not in the habit of
talking about my business to
people I've just met.

- And that way you
can play him against me.

- I'm not playing anybody!

- Wait a sec, is that
what that was?

- Is that what what was?

- The flirting.
- I wasn't flirting.

Jesus Christ would
you stop flattering yourself.

You're old enough to
be my father.

- Younger than him!

- Well you wouldn't
think it to watch him exercise.

A proper stroke I
thought he was having...

Oh, oh, oh!

- I didn't ever make that sound.

Okay, wait a second, how do I
know this wasn't all
part of your plan?

- What plan?
- Okay, see now it makes sense.

- What makes sense?

- You send in your ex to double
team me and that way you can
work me from both sides.

Oh I hope you stop all this and
give Ciaran his land back.

Okay, I got it now.

- I was the one that told him to
stop being an arse and do the
right thing by you.

- She did, actually.

- Okay, so maybe the last part
was wrong, but you know what...

- I wonder why?
- Why what?

- Why were you so concerned
that he gets his half of
the property, huh?

Do you know that she has a
vested interest in this
particular piece of land?

- Oh, for fuck sake!
- What, what, what?

- Tell him, how you might stand
to benefit if the land was
broken up between us.

- You are such an
enormous arsehole!

- When my great grandfather
bought the land, remember
you commented on

how clever he was?

Do you know who he
bought it from?

Would you care to guess?
- No.

- Ah go on, go on,
have a guess, have a guess.

- I don't...
- Have a guess go on!

- Just fucking tell me.

- Her great, great grandfather.

- Really?

- It happened a
thousand years ago.

Who gives a shit what
happened then?

- Well it certainly
didn't help our marriage.

- Oh no, you didn't help our
marriage, let me let you in
on a little secret.

Our marriage didn't end because
of a stupid story about a
stupid piece of land.

Our marriage ended because
you are petty and
spiteful and angry at

everyone but yourself, for
whatever the fuck it is you
think the world owes you!

I tell you what, you can both
take the land and the house
and shove them both

up both your asses
for all I care!

- I don't think I'm petty.

I was serious before, I really
wanted to make peace with you.

- Oh, me too.

- Swords into
ploughshares and all that.

- Yeah, same here.

- But now...

You're going to be a sorry man
you ever set foot in Ireland.

- Oh, I already am.

But if you think I'm leaving
now? Fat chance of that.

- Oh, big city boy.

Very clever, huh?

You may have met your match.

- I may have, but
it sure as hell ain't you!

- Well, we'll see about that.

- Oh yeah, we will
see about that.

- Did I tell you,
they're a sneaky lot.

- Yeah.

- Good man yourself.
- Shame!

- Maybe the worst parking ever!

- All right, up
against car please.

- What are you doing?

- Hands behind your back.

- I didn't steal the
sheep, I borrowed them.

- Off who?

- Off from whoever's
sheep they were.

- Uh hmm.

- If anything I was
doing those sheep a service,

I took them off the street
where God knows what can happen

and I brought them inside.

- Brought them inside where?

- Into Ciaran's...
- Yeah, exactly.

That's known as
breaking and entering.

- Yeah, and this is known
as a breaking my balls
bullshit charge.

And are these really necessary?

Hey!

- It's for my scrapbook,
you are my first American.

- That's certainly not legal.

- You know what,
maybe you're right?

I'm gonna make an
executive decision and say...

You're free to go.

Just don't do it again.
- I won't.

- Did you get it?

- He should pay his
lamb malfeasance.

In an eternity of his
own screams.

- Enough!
- I'll stop.

- Yeah, that's it.

- Hey.
- Did you get
arrested? Is that true?

- What?
- Did you get arrested for

misappropriating and
confining nine adult sheep?

- For God's sake!

How do you know about that?
- It's online.

It's all over the place.

Veteran New York developer,
Barry Gorman, arrested overseas.

Manhattan tower
builder caught with sheep.

- Oh, that's hysterical.
- Really?!

Well guess who just pulled out
of the 57th Street deal?

- Wait they what?
- Yep.

- No, they can't do that.

- Really?
Because they just did.

- What do you mean?
Why?

- Why?

Because they don't want
to be in business with an
international sheep stealer.

- Okay, well, that's just nuts.

I'm gonna call them and I will
explain what happened,
because this is crazy.

- Dad,

it's done!

They pulled out.

It doesn't matter what
you say to them.

It's gone.
- What do you mean it's gone?

- I mean, someone else is going
to build 57th Street, not us.

- Yeah, okay, I'm gonna
call you back.

- Hey!
Fuckhead!

Is that funny to you?

Screwing with my livelihood.

- Okay, okay, settle
down now lads.

- No you settle down.

- You settle down.
- How you doing?

- Do you have any idea how
much money you just cost me?

Do you have any fucking idea?!

- Have you lost your mind?

- This guy, this guy is a snake.

- This guy is a fuckin'...
- Better a rat than a snake.

- Now don't you be slagging off
Ciaran, he's a good man.

- Oh, really?!

- He tried to screw
him out of his inheritance.

- He put that
stupid wall up in his garden.

- Yeah, only in direct
response to him.

- Ah you're talking
out your arse.
- Oh am I?

- Yeah, now shut your
hole, or I'll shut it for you.

- Wooo, will ya, I'd like
to see you try!

- Jesus, he's having a
heart attack!

- Give him some air.
- Lift his head up.

- That's for choking
- Give him the Heimlich.

- That's also for choking.

- You're meant to
elevate his feet.

- Someone call an ambulance.

Well, let's get him
into it then!

- Aw, you poor crature.
- You'll be all right son,
hang in there.

- I'll bet he's faking it.

- Ahhh, we'll have
none of that now.

- Did you see that?

- Really?!

- There, look, he did it again
the minute you turned around.

Oh I'm on to you, you
Yankee bastard.

You're not fooling anybody.

- You should be
ashamed of yourself.

- Hi Dad.
Dad?

- Sorry, is this
Barry Gorman's daughter?

- Yes.
Who's this?

- You alright?

- Me head's
throbbing a bit, but I'm okay.

- That was a fierce whack you
took, wouldn't have guessed he
could throw that hard.

- Am I dead now?
- You're most certainly not!

You've had what's called a
cardiac incident, no damage to
the heart itself.

- Okay.

- But we're going to keep you
here a day or two longer, just
in case you keel over again.

- Okay, thank you.

- I've been asked to tell you
that your daughter should be
arriving tomorrow.

- Oh, good, good, good.

- Right, I'll leave you to rest.

- Okay, thank you.

- All right, Mr. Gorman.
- Yes.

- Oh sorry, I meant this
Mr. Gorman.

- What the...

- Oh Jesus, you're not
putting me in with him are you?

- What's the matter with him?

- Well, we thought there that
he might have had a concussion.

Or worse, as a general rule, we
suggest avoid getting hit
in the face...

With anything!

Perhaps at some point, a prayer
of gratitude from each of you
would be in order.

You've both been
quite lucky today.

- Excuse me, I'm wondering if
there's another room
that I can have,

because I'm not comfortable.
- We've got a full house
at the moment

so I'm afraid this is all
we have to offer.

- Well, is there someone
else I can talk to, the manager?

- The manager?

- I don't know what it's called
here, but I'm not... I insist...

- Is there a problem?

- Nah, there's no, no problem.

- We're fine, thank you.

- I'm sorry I gave you
a concussion.

- You didn't!

- I'm sorry I almost
gave you a concussion.

That's really not okay,
it's just, there's no
excuse for that.

And I just want to say
I'm sorry, truly.

- I'm sorry I killed
your business.

I didn't mean to do that.

I wanted to embarrass you.

I don't deny that, I wanted
to poke you with a stick, but...

Well, I'm sorry about that.

You know, I meant what I said
the other night about
wanting to end this.

- Hey, so did I.

- And yet, here we are.

- Here we are.

- What shall we do then?

You and I, how can we...

What is it you'd like?

- Pfft, what do you want?

- Well I suppose I'd
like to be a bigger man.

I'd like to be able to honour me
da's wishes and do
what he asked.

I'd like to trust you.

But... can I speak honestly?

- Please.
- I don't trust you.

- Well, I don't trust you.

- Well, common ground then,
maybe we can build on that.

How about we both sleep on it
and we attack it fresh
in the morning, huh?

- Fair enough.

I think my daughter's
coming tomorrow.

- Ah, that'll be nice, eh.

- Whoa, whoa,
whoa, what are you doing?

- Well, I thought we were done.

- Yes, but if you close
that I can't see the window.

- Well if we leave it open, we
can see each other and that
benefits no one.

- I'm with you there.

- How about we leave it half
open, you know, half
open half closed,

is that fair?
- That sounds fair,
let's see that.

Stop for a second.

We can't both do it.

We can't both do it at
the same time, put yours down.

- You put yours down first.

Would you like to do it?

- You can do it.

Or I can do it.

You do it.

- How's that?

- Can't really see the window.

- Jesus Christ!

- Litte more.

Perfect!

Thank you.

- I can still see you.

- Are you f-- kidding me?

- A little bit more.

A bit more, bit more.

- I'm losing window.

Go on, go on, nearly there.

Too much.

- Okay?
- Perfect.

Ahhh!

- I think my
daughter's coming tomorrow.

- So you said.

- She's a great girl.

- I'm sure she is.

- I worry about her though.

You know, you always
want your kids to find someone.

Not that she
couldn't manage on her own.

Obviously, she's very capable.

She could do, she'd be fine on
her own, but it's not the same,
it's not the same.

When you have two people...

When there's two people, then
you always have somebody
in your corner.

You always have some...

Still talking!

- I didn't know if you
still liked crossword puzzles.

- Oh, I do, I do.
- Good.

I brought you some of
those as well.

You can split them between you.
- Thank you.

- And I brought you a
bunch of these.

You can read up on
your Kardashians.

- Fantastic!
That's great.

- Hey, do Americans play chess?

- Yes, Americans play chess.

- All right then, you two
can have at it.

As long as you play nicely.
- Oh, we will, we will.

- Yeah, I think you're thinking
of the old us, because
we're fine now.

- Hello.
- There you you are.

- There you are!
- Hello.

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

Please tell her I'm fine.

- He's grand, right as rain.

- This is my daughter.
- Very nice to meet you.

- Hi.

- Where's the baby?
- What baby?

Home, in very safe hands.

- That's probably best.

Come, come, come.

You gotta meet everybody.

Okay, this is cousin Ciaran.

This is my beautiful
daughter Natalya.

- Ah, hello, hello, how are you?

- And this is Fiona.

- The greatest
happiness of life is the
conviction of being loved,

loved for ourselves.

If there's anything better than
being loved, it is to
love another.

- For God's sake, would
you ever get a hold of yourself?

- For God does not
make a love that is wrong.

This is a union of two
individuals, of heart, mind,
body and spirit.

Therefore, marriage should not
be entered into lightly, but,
reverently,

honestly and deliberately.

I now have a question
for each of you.

Natalya, you have chosen Fiona
to be your wife and
partner through life,

will you love and respect her?

Will you be honest
with her always?

And will you stand with
her through whatever may come?

- I will.

- Fiona, you have chosen Natalya
to be your wife and
partner through life.

Will you love and respect her?

Will you be honest
with her always?

And will you stand with
her through whatever may come?

- I will.

- Well then, by the power vested
in me by the fine people of
Ireland, and by the

loving grace of God, and that
can be any god that you want.

I know pronounce you married.

You may... oh hang on is this
where we do the bit
with the glass?

You may now seal
the marriage with a kiss.

- You know how
much I love you, right?

- I do, yeah.

- And you...

You know how happy I am
that you two found each other?

- I do, yeah.

- By the way I can do this now,
because you're my
daughter-in-law.

You know.
- I understand.

- Okay, and you'll tell
me if I overstep.
- You're overstepping.

- Natalya?
- Love you guys.

- Oi, well, we better go
spend some time with my mother

or we'll never hear
the end of it.
- Go, go, go.

- By the way, her new guy...

- Right!

- Fergus, with our Fergus?!
- That was ages ago.

He hadn't married yet.

Also, do remember old
man Coughlan?

- Had the
upholstery and knitting shop?

- Did him as well.

- I'm not sure this is quite the
time or place to be confessing.

- I'm not confessing,
I'm just telling ye.

Here's one that'll surprise you.

Do you remember the McDermott
twins, Graham and Douglas?

Well...

- Hey.
- Yeah.

- You know, maybe I'm thick, but
it honestly never occurred
to me that it was

women she fancied.

- I don't know that she did.

She just fancies my daughter.

- Well you just get pig's blood
and you stuff it in to the
beef's intestines.

No?
Get her a drink there will ye?

- You ever been to Brooklyn?

It's right by the water.

Oh, it's beautiful in Brooklyn.

- Have you been to Brooklyn?
- What are you kiddin'?

I'm from Brooklyn.
- Hey, come on.

- Ah just forget it.

- He's a pure dote
that grandson of yours.

- Who's the other kid?

- Well, that's Fiona's
sister's little fella.

- Okay.

- I suppose that
makes him me ex-nephew.

- And now he's my nephew?

- Oi, keep it away
from the grown ups now, right.

- There you are.

- Listen to this.

So I'm standing there
getting some deviled eggs.

And Caitlin Murphy comes over to
say she was unhappy with
how we did her

grandmother's funeral.

And I said, love, I'm
off the clock.

And incidentally, that was
four years ago.

- I don't know what you're
telling me for, it's
your problem now.

It's your business.

- We're gonna miss you.

- Nah, you're not!

- What did I just tell you?

I'm sorry about that
Mrs. Scully.

Come here you!

- So what is your plan?
- Oh, no plan.

Just see it all.

There's a great big world
out there beyond this parish.

- Well, I think your father
would be quite pleased
with all of this.

- I think he would Seamus.

- You boys have
done something mighty.

- Nah.
- No, ye have.

I don't know why it is we always
need to be going at each other?

I suppose it's human nature.

But you've put an end to it.

In this corner of the
world you have.

And that's a marvellous
thing, a pure marvellous thing.

Your father would be very proud.

- You know what,
here's to Fergus.

- To Fergus.

- To Fergus.

- Well, I guess we did it.

- I guess we did.

- Finally, peace in the family.
- Amen.

- Hello, hey I was hoping you'd
call, so what do you think?

- Oh, tis lovely, lovely indeed!