Original subtitles

Based on Brasserie Romance by Joël Vanhoebrouck

This film has been made possible by the Dutch Film Production Incentive

on February the fourteenth, at seven thirty

For you, because you're my Valentine every day.

How sweet, thank you.

Kiss-ass. -You never get anything, so sad.

You're sad yourself. -I'm in love.

Yes, for the first time in two years. Love at first sight.

Even though I don't believe in that. But then suddenly it happens.

Just take a look and see how pretty she is.

And she smells so incredibly nice.

She's mine, but you're allowed to sniff.

Really musty.

How was your day? -I'm hungry.

Shall daddy make you something then?

How about liver?

Or would you prefer scrapple or head cheese?

Or how about lamb's testicles with a light foam and a sauce made of fish eggs?

Give me a steak.

Did you hear anything from Lesley? -No.

I'm done with him.

Yes. -I mean it.

How was school today? -Your incredible niece got a B+ for math.

And you may think a B+ is not that good, but the test was really difficult.

It was really, really difficult. -Right. And how about French?

Yes, that was not so good. An F.

But French is a stupid language.

Nee, French is not a stupid language. I'll help you.

Valentine? -Emma?

What's that square on your back?

That tattoo? -Well, there's something underneath there.

Like what? -Nothing, just a name. Clyde.

Long time ago and a long story for another time.

I'm also getting a tattoo. -Really? What kind?

My mother's name, on my shoulder.

Oh, sweetie.

And your name as well. -Touching, but I'm not buying it.

Okay, but can I have my own room?

You do know that you can't stay here, right?

When Angelo has everything sorted, you'll go live with him.

You're my favourite person, you know that. And your father loves you too.

Can you zip me up?

Why do you want your own room anyway? Are you expecting someone?

Yes, two 21 -year-old guys for a gang bang.

Of course, a gang bang is so romantic.

Valentine, what did you do with the menu?

This is so cheap, we still need to pay off the kitchen.

Who insisted on the most expensive and the best equipment?

If we want that Michelin star... -We're completely booked tonight.

Then it would be great if Lesley finally showed up.

Look, our second commander is on time. -As always.

Just saying, we're paying you. -Yo, Kev.

Hey, are you all right? -Yes.

Jim, do you know where Lesley is?

Probably in bed. With a girl. Naked.

We have two gluten free. -Great, the gluten hype.

Gluten, a real health hazard.

But so good.

Brasserie Valentine

Hello, Valentine.

Hello, Frank.

You haven't changed at all.

What are you doing here?

I have a reservation under the name Janssens.

Is it just you? -Yes.

Just me.

Looks nice.

It's been like this for a while.

And it's still nice.

Let me take your coat.

Is that your brother?

Yes. -He really got old.

Why are you here? -Good evening.

Hi, Roos.

How are you?

Well, we're here again.

Well, let the evening begin.

Yes, it's the safest car on the market. No, that's not a sales pitch.

Did you're wife just have a baby? For the little ones it's also the safest option.

No, I know what you mean.

I used to put her in the car for a drive. Then she would sleep like a baby.

Here you go.

Great, thank you.

It's difficult to talk now, I'm in a restaurant.

Here you go. -Sit down, so we can talk.

I really can't right now, I have a lot of guests, so...

Later, then.

Why don't I call you back tomorrow? Or you can call me.

Okay, bye.

Guess.

Chanel No. 5? -How did you know?

This was the only thing... -Marilyn Monroe wore in bed?

Yes, you told me the same story last year. -No.

Really?

How stupid of me.

Didn't you like it? -No.

Chef, behind you.

Thank you.

Valentine, four amuses are plated. -Three.

Three?

We only have couples tonight.

Who's that? -Nobody.

Nobody? A man alone on Valentine's Day?

It's not what you think. -Yes, it is.

Be very nice to him, because those Michelin people pay attention to service.

He's not from Michelin, I told you so.

Where's Lesley? -This will be his last night.

He's our best waiter. -He was our best waiter.

Is. -Was.

Have a nice evening. -I can wait for you.

No, I have to work, I'm busy. Sorry.

But it's Valentine's Day. -That's not really my problem, is it?

We agreed that we would keep it casual, didn't we?

Listen, Elly. -Nelly.

Nelly, you're a wonderful woman.

And hundreds of, no thousands of men would love to be your Valentine.

Love is all around.

Good evening.

I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Next week is possible.

Could you spell that for me?

Yes, B. -Chef?

Did you say B or P?

No, a B or a P?

Emma, beautiful girl. Homework, nice.

Chef. -You're late.

Where were you? -In the bed of a girl.

It smelled like fabric softener. -It was a rhetorical question, Lesley.

Jimmy, I'm always straightforward, right?

I always say right away that this is a one-time thing.

But they all fall in love with me and want to watch romantic movies all day.

Is that normal? -You're just irresistible.

Right, that's enough.

Lesley, be on time. Discipline. What do you I pay for?

If you can't respect me, you can leave right now.

Good evening. Do you have a reservation?

Yes, that's right. Table seven.

Right, I remember. Mia. Table seven.

Table seven, follow me.

So there are no cute boys in your class? -Nope.

Wait, one moment.

And I a different class? -They're all stupid.

I'm just not in love with any one. -Nice, love only brings you problems.

Yeah, right.

I don't believe you. I see you blushing.

No way. -Hello? That's quite enough.

Do you want to wait for your companion?

I'm actually not sure if he's coming.

Of course he will. No man would stand up such a beautiful woman.

One drink.

Do you remember this?

You gave me this book.

Siddhartha.

Long time ago.

Found it in my old room.

It hasn't changed since twelve years ago.

Sorry, I...

What's wrong with her? She doesn't look really happy.

I think she's all right.

I reckon she should get laid.

Why don't you say that to her face?

What? -'Valentine, I think you should get laid.'

Me, as a car salesman, I know everything about that.

I screw everyone, big or small.

And I see it as my duty to give my body...

or better yet, my penis, to you.

Don't be stupid. -Don't be modest.

With that gorgeous body of yours. Valentine.

All those years in the gym haven't been for nothing.

Everything in order? Something wrong with the amuse-bouche?

Paul noticed that you need a big... -Pat on the back.

Really, you have been doing so great all those years.

It's unbelievable. Well done, well done.

Thank you very much. I'll let Angelo know.

What's wrong with you?

Great, parsnip cream. Delicious.

Compliment from the Volvo family. -Really? No way.

Miracles do happen.

Did you hear, Em? They love daddy's food.

Your food is so disgusting. -The right one is for the Michelin man.

Walt? What are you doing here?

You know that this so-called romantic day is just a commercial ruse.

You're such a smart-ass. -Yes, but I have a date.

Oh, nice. Who's the lucky one?

Her name is Silvia and I met her online. -Online, amazing.

Beautiful, right? But that's not your date, that's Mia.

Count your blessings, she's weird.

Thank you. -Do you want something to drink?

Water, please.

Congratulations Maarten, you solved the puzzle.

I think you're handsome and sweet and cute.

And a little weird, but in a good way.

On February 14, at seven thirty p.m...

I will be waiting at George Hendrik Breitner's Girl in a White Kimono.

In the Rijksmuseum.

Will you join me?

Dude.

Look at yourself.

Mister Hendriks, what a coincidence.

Don't you need a new car? Your car is more like a disposable vehicle.

I'm actually in need of an electrical bicycle.

I can't help you with that, but we do have the new electrical Volvo.

I'll give you a call. Enjoy your dinner.

You too.

They live in our street.

This is a really cool place. -Nice, right?

We'll start the evening with an amuse-bouche. It's on its way.

There it is.

No, you're kidding.

How sweet of you.

Do you like it? -Yes, it is so beautiful.

Your name, how nice.

Do you have time for me now? -For your book club?

Why are you here, Frank? -I wanted to see you.

Well, you saw me. Hi.

Sorry, I should have called. It took me a long time.

Not that long. What is it... -Twelve years.

Three months, eight days and fourteen hours.

My father past away, I'm here for his funeral.

My condolences.

A cab will pick me up at ten. -I'll get your dessert and coffee.

Are you married?

No, you?

I'm separated on a trial basis. -On a trial basis?

That's a new one.

But it will become definite.

Do you have a boyfriend? -And the cab?

The cab? -Where will it take you?

To Buenos Aires. Well, to the airport.

The plane will take me to Buenos Aires.

Buenos Aires.

Do you remember? The poster in the hallway of my dorm?

You could stare at it for hours.

I work there now, at the Dutch embassy, as a shuttle diplomat.

Shuttle diplomate.

So that's the reason for the suit.

I'm sorry. Buenos Aires, wow.

Really great.

I will do my best to make sure you catch your flight.

Come with me.

Tonight. Buenos Aires.

Really, that's why I'm here.

Let's go together. -No.

There's a draft up there.

Can we sit at that table?

No, it's reserved. -But, there is a draft miss.

There's no one sitting there. -But they will arrive later tonight.

I can only offer you your reserved table. -But I'm a little cold. Please?

Listen. -No, you listen, sir.

This is my restaurant and this is how it works.

I give you a table and that is where you will sit.

If you wanted a different table, you should have mentioned that.

Have a nice evening.

Who took the reservation for Sarah? -No idea.

Table four. -Table four, calm down.

Table four, drama. -There's no number and they're not here.

Keep breathing, sis. All that stress is not good for you.

Just look at yourself.

Always talking about Michelin stars, but you were drunk two years in a row.

Don't mind me.

The grape grows on a slope facing south...

the soil is high in calcium, which creates a lot of depth.

You will taste plum, black cherry.

Ah, black cherries. -Right.

Red fruit with a hint of cacao and forest fragrances.

Oh cacao, that's really tasty.

This is corked. I can smell that from miles away.

Corked?

Weird, I don't smell anything.

You can trust me.

This wine is corked.

Excuse me, I'll be right back.

What was it? What does corked mean?

Do you want me to smell it?

They use cork to close the wine bottle.

Sometimes pieces of cork get in the wine. -It smells delicious.

May I?

So all those little pieces were in our wine?

They're out of their minds. -It's not worth arguing with some people.

In this industry it is important to be humble.

Bug, you should've been there already.

Waiter.

Do you have a cat, or a dog or a guinea pig or rabbit here?

No. -Yes, I think so, I have allergies.

Yes, she has an allergic reaction.

Look.

Leaking eye.

No finesse at all.

Bottled really badly. -My apologies.

Taste this.

Nothing wrong with it. -At table eight we have a fat old guy...

with a very young chick. -Jim, funnel.

Hot chick, nice tits, but really stupid.

Shame. -Well, it's also horny in a way.

Emma, never listen to me. You're smart, smart is better.

Did you just get that empty bottle of Margaux from yesterday?

Emma, what are you doing with that phone? -Instagram.

No, you really can't do that.

Why not? It's funny.

No, you can't do that. -Lesley, have the last guests arrived?

I don't know.

Offer them your apologies and this wine for the same price...

and tell them the chef has tasted the wine and can assure them it's a beautiful year.

Magnificent.

Did you pack your suitcase?

Stop playing games. -It's not a game, Bonnie.

I haven't seen you in years, Frank.

Buenos Aires. The city of your dreams.

You always remained under my heart.

Bonnie.

Yes exactly, under your heart.

What does your trial ex-wife think? -I told her it was the name of my dog.

Come with me.

Button up your shirt. -Yes, madam.

Gosh, another present. -Everything all right, Walt?

I didn't bring a present. -You are the present, man.

I'm serious. Don't forget that.

Gosh, this is so my colour. How did you know?

And the rhinestones. -Yes, gorgeous.

You're so sweet. -Amazing.

I'll be in touch soon.

Well, I got him. Unbelievable what you have to do for it these days.

Our most expensive model, however. -Great, do you want a blow job now?

Who's that?

No one.

Am I missing something?

What's wrong with you? -How do you mean?

There's nothing wrong.

No, there's nothing wrong.

I have everything I want.

I have a nice husband, two healthy children...

a beautiful semi-detached house, my own car...

a vacation in the summer and in the winter every year...

I have 81 pair of shoes and I have a lover.

What else could I want?

Are you serious?

About what?

What you just said.

Yes, 81 pair of shoes, I counted them. That's really a lot.

I'm talking about your lover. -Oh, that.

Oh, you're kidding.

Yeah, pretty funny.

On Valentine's Day. No, for a minute there I thought you really...

I mean, that's not possible.

No, it's possible. You're still pretty attractive.

Who's that? -It's him.

It's my lover.

Nice. Good job.

Thank you. -You're welcome.

Mia, isn't that the chocolaterie?

Yes.

Yes, that's my shop.

I'm Mia.

But it's been there very long, right? -It was my mom's.

My grandmother was called Mia as well.

Family business.

Yes, I could make chocolates before I could walk.

When I was a child, I used to eat a lot of chocolate.

Sounds like a nice childhood.

My father abused my mother.

Always at the beginning of the summer, when the chocolate started to melt.

Gosh.

One day...

she gave him a piece of chocolate with poison in it.

He died within seconds.

When the police came to take her away...

she held my face between her hands and said:

Honey, you listen carefully now.

Real love is like life.

It only happens once.

Yes?

No, never too late to sell a car.

Your Golf gave up on you? Typical.

She had to take public transportation. -That takes a while.

Yes, that's right.

I am Silvia.

Hello.

Shall I sit down? -Yes.

A real gentleman.

Have you been here before? -Yes, every week for lunch.

It's close to work and a main course and soup is only 19 euros...

including coffee.

Oh no, not including coffee. The coffee costs extra.

I have to go to the bathroom, the toilet.

The appetizer is a pickled seabass with a mild curry...

with turmeric, citrus fruits and lemongrass.

Is everything all right?

Waiter.

Waiter, there must be a cat or a dog around here somewhere.

Or she wouldn't have an allergic reaction. -I completely understand, sir.

But we have no cats or dogs here. -So she is an actress and she is acting...

as if she is allergic. -Of course not, I will look into it.

And please bring us the next course.

Sorry, I don't want to be indiscreet...

and if you don't want to talk about it, please say so, but...

did you lose someone you love?

My husband.

Cancer?

Tanja. My best friend. Former best friend.

Cancerous whore.

We're both water signs.

Marcus and I.

Me Pisces, he Cancer.

Ideal combination. -That works well together.

21, 14, 7.

Seven years ago exactly, Marcus asked me to marry him.

Right there, where you're standing right now.

I was 21 years old. I was hoping he would show up tonight.

My life totally sucks right now.

Of course not. -Of course it does.

If I get cancer and I'm lying in a hospital bed with tubes in my nose...

no one will feel miserable about that.

Or if I take a warm bath tonight and slit my wrists...

no one will desperately fall to his knees and shake my lifeless body.

You know? -Excuse me, waiter?

My life is pretty much over. -I have to go. Hold on to this.

Or let it go. I'll be right back.

Can you recommend something to drink?

Don't talk about your job if it can scare women off.

Don't talk about your job if it can scare women off.

Humour is essential. Small jokes to make her feel comfortable.

Small jokes?

The next present will need a lot of love from you, just like me.

Open your eyes.

A bonsai tree?

Wow, but isn't that really expensive?

A bonsai tree. How cute.

That guy at table three, wants you to be his waitress.

I think he wants to date you.

Yes, who doesn't?

Is that your daughter, Valentine?

It's my niece.

Good, so you can come with me tonight.

Frank, listen.

Twelve years ago I would've said yes, without hesitation.

But twelve years ago you had to go to India alone, remember?

You can't just disappear and come back twelve years later like it's nothing.

When you were dancing with goats, I started this restaurant.

I did it all on my own and you can't just come here and stir everything up.

That's not polite.

You can't do that.

I know.

Good.

You know, I wish I could have seen my father...

You never introduced me, because you were ashamed.

That's not true. -It is.

I loved you.

By the way...

I still do. -Frank, stop it.

I love you.

Get real.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ladies and gentlemen...

I love this woman.

I love Valentine.

The girl that was named after the brasserie of her father, right?

Who is named after a restaurant?

Usually it's the other way around. -Yes, of course.

Please sit down, Frank.

Sit down.

Did you have questions about the menu?

Good.

The appetizer. -Sea bass.

Sea bass. Does it really make you happy?

And that wild boar? Does it make you laugh?

And that stuffed raspberry? Does it comfort you when you're sad?

Is this enough for you? Or do you already have someone in your life?

Please, give me three minutes. That's nothing in a whole human life.

Who's that man you keep talking to?

Be really nice to him, or better yet, leave him alone, he's with Michelin.

Frank. It's Frank. -Who's Frank?

From way back when? You're kidding.

Frank, your sweetheart.

Really, look at him.

He really got old.

Clyde.

Do you remember?

Clyde. Bonnie and Clyde. -Stop it.

Who's Frank?

Someone I used to know. -He's pretty handsome.

Valentine was incredibly in love with him.

A sensational, devouring love.

Them against the rest of the world. Bonnie and Clyde.

They even were arrested once. Remember?

They broke into a swimming pool to go skinny dipping.

And then he suddenly disappeared.

You cried for weeks. -Why is he here?

He's going back to Buenos Aires. He lives there.

In Spain? -Argentina, Em.

Where you really arrested, handcuffs and everything?

I was also arrested once. -No way.

Why?

I didn't have a lot of money.

I stole two onions to make an onion soup.

Two onions to make soup?

A teeny-tiny soup.

A mini soup.

A skiwi.

A skiing kiwi.

A kiwi on skies.

Whatever. -Is this your job?

What? -Telling jokes.

No, I work for the government.

God no. No, no, no, no, no.

No?

You don't work for the government?

I do, but...

Let's talk about something else. What's your favourite colour?

Do you work as a tax collector? -No way.

My favourite colour is anthracite. -Oh no.

You're not a traffic warden, are you? -Is it a laundry bag?

No, it is a lucky Chinese lantern.

You light it, make a wish and then let it fly.

Then it flies into the starry sky with all your dreams.

Jonas, I never knew you were so romantic.

Of course I am. -Hello.

I'm sorry, but that doesn't make any sense.

It won't reach the stars, it will incinerate long before that.

Because the closest star is the sun.

And it is 149 billion meters away. And that's pretty far, I think.

And stars are really so overrated.

They're nothing more than glowing gasses. Far less interesting than rocks.

Because you can find the origins of the world in a stone.

You can find the Ice Age, continental drifts...

global warming, it has been here before, don't kid yourself.

All mysteries of the universe can be found in one rock.

How do you know all this? -I research condition of soils.

The Dutch soil. Rocks. -Rocks.

Different types of sand, gravel, clay.

You research rocks?

Yes.

How special. Walter.

You really have a passion.

At least tell me his name.

You don't know him.

Did you have sex with him?

No, we play tennis, okay. Jesus.

Stop eating that fucking bread.

When? When did you have sex?

Who says it was only one time? -In our bed?

Yes, in our bed.

His bed. On our couch, on his couch.

In our Volvo. In his BMW.

Why? Why for God's sake?

How do you know him?

I meet people, Paul.

After all those years...

And I had opportunities as well, you know. A lot of opportunities.

Very beautiful young women.

They wanted me. In the car as well.

In the showroom, at the office.

But I stayed faithful to you.

Loyal as a dog. -Good dog, do you want a treat?

What did I ever do to you?

What you did to me? -Yes.

You make me stupid.

Stupid because of us.

Our life made me stupid.

Stupid sandwiches, stupid laundry.

Stupid vacations, talking to stupid mothers about our stupid children.

Stupid dinners with stupid friends and talking about your fucking stupid cars.

I didn't used to be stupid.

I wasn't stupid.

I used to think about things.

A lot of things. About what it means to be human in this world.

I couldn't sleep because I couldn't understand what infinity meant.

And how small our planet is in this universe.

I had tons of questions.

We both had tons of questions.

And now?

Now I know how infinity feels.

And each night I'm glad when it's time to close my eyes.

Hey Jim, can I ask you something? -Of course, dude.

Do you want to go and get a beer tonight?

Sounds like fun. Of course.

What are you doing?

I'm just on the toilet at the moment.

Do you want to meet up later?

Well. tonight I already have a... -I'm not finished yet...

but when I'm done, I would like to drink red wine with you...

and eat dark chocolate...

and have hard, dirty porn sex with you all night.

But I'm already on a date tonight. -Hang on, honey.

Some idiot next to me is answering, I'll call you right back.

Occupied free

Hello.

Let's pretend this never happened.

So you didn't hear anything and I won't tell anyone you're crazy.

Great.

Sorry you had to wait so long.

By the way...

it's not true what you just said.

What?

You have your whole life ahead of you. -Real love only happens once.

You need to learn to look at the future. -Don't you read the newspapers?

Newspapers? -Bees are going extinct.

Religious people kill all over the world in the name of their god.

New York waits for a tsunami that will wipe away Manhattan.

Africa is bought up by China, everyone is being bugged.

The world is nothing but misery and you can only survive with love.

And I don't have that.

But love is all around.

Look around you.

Do you have any idea how many suicides are linked to broken hearts each year?

And mostly caused by guys like you.

With your 'love is all around'.

Wait a minute, you don't know me at all.

No, I don't know you, but when I look at you...

I see someone who constantly conforms.

With that guy you act like a brother, with pats on the back and soothing words.

With that couple you act like the perfect son-in-law...

and you let that jerk walk all over you.

To me you act like you want to save me.

I'm a waiter. I should make people feel at ease.

You're an expert in brief encounters.

You observe and act accordingly.

You're like a chameleon, nobody sees the real you.

And you probably don't even know who you really are.

You'll probably survive, according to Darwin's rules.

But real love has nothing to do with surviving.

Maybe I'm not even looking for real love.

You are, because you are a water sign.

I knew immediately.

And water signs can't be alone.

You're a Cancer, right? -Why do you think you can judge me?

Look at yourself, with your self-pity.

Maybe it's the position of the moon or a magical number...

or an unlucky childhood, but you're right, no man wants that.

That girl at table seven, super-hot, but totally crazy. All into horoscopes.

Do you know what I mean? -I'm a Libra...

and I'm really smart, but also vain, superficial and unreliable.

What's she? -Pisces.

I also dated a Pisces once. Totally crazy.

And a Leo? Are they also crazy?

No, they are cute. -And what are you, Kev?

Pisces.

Lesley, can you take this main course to table three?

Table three. -I'm a Virgo, hot, sexy and naughty.

Dumbass.

I'm going to take a break. -It will come out of your vacation days.

He's injured.

He just fell out of the sky.

I was in a hurry because I had somewhere to be.

Are you all right?

Yes.

I know a vet who's still available at night.

You have 180 seconds. -You gave me this book twelve years ago.

I read it cover to cover.

Siddhartha kept starting a new life, because he wanted to be complete.

I wanted that too.

So I went to India.

I stayed three months and travelled the world after that.

I lived in silence for a month with Buddhist monks.

I drank Ayahuasca with Native Americans.

I fasted with Muslims during Ramadan.

I've been very happy but also extremely miserable.

I got a job in Buenos Aires, I got married and I...

It's like I lived someone else's life for years.

This book was on the nightstand in my old room...

on the same place where I left it twelve years ago.

Isn't that weird?

I read it again.

I became exactly like my father.

When someone searches, it can happen he can only have eyes for what he searches.

He won't allow himself to find anything.

I searched all over the world to become complete.

But the only time I felt really complete, was when I was with you.

So if I hadn't given you that book, you wouldn't have left?

And I never would have come back. -Twelve years later.

I admit that I'm a little bit too late.

Valentine

I need some time to think.

Are you all right?

He asked me to go to Argentina with him.

What did you say? -To what?

If she wants to go to Argentina.

Jesus Christ. That man is insane, Valentine.

What will you do in Argentina? -Maybe I said yes.

Of course you didn't. As if you're so adventurous.

Maybe I thought of myself for once in my life, could that be an option?

For once? Don't be so pathetic. -Who's the pathetic one here?

When mum left... -Do you want to discuss this now?

Come on. -When mum left...

I cared for you. I was two years older than Emma now.

Not now. -Who made sure you went to school?

Who did the laundry, the groceries. Who helped dad in the restaurant?

Until dad died, when you had to go away with your Clyde.

You're exactly like dad, you know that?

You can't even take care of your own daughter, she's been dead for two years.

Do you think you're the only one who made concessions?

Don't you think I wanted to go to Paris to really learn how to cook?

I also gave up things.

For you.

For this place.

For our family. Our family.

When we're finished here...

would you then like to go to my house to drink red wine...

eat dark chocolate and have hard, dirty porn sex with me all night?

Where have you been all my life?

I want to fuck you to pieces.

Do you think you can handle it, Walter?

Are you sure? Take a good look.

My body is like the Tour de France.

And you can ride it like your fucking Lance Armstrong.

And I understand if you need a little doping, that's not a problem at all.

But that's illegal, so I can't.

I've been with a lot of men.

A lot of men.

But none of these men, dear Walter...

none of them...

could keep up with me without doping.

Are you sure you can handle me?

Yes, I can handle everything.

I would like to put you in a museum with a sign that says:

The last of the now extinct, brave race.

Homo sapiens authenticus.

Hey man, it will be all right. And if not, we will grab a beer after closing.

Shall I bring you an appetizer?

No. -No, we...no.

I want to eat you.

Now.

I'm just going to wash my hands.

I work at the hats department of the department store.

Right across from the coffee corner.

And you always put three sugar cubes in your chai latte.

Yeah. -Geesje Kwak was 16 when he saw her.

He made numerous paintings of her...

but I think Girl in a White Kimono is the best.

When Geesje was 22, she died of tuberculosis.

Next week I will be 22.

What if I die suddenly, just like Geesje?

Without ever having... I thought...

someone who uses so much sugar is someone who isn't afraid to take risks.

Someone who isn't afraid of diabetes or obesity...

or rotting teeth or death in general.

It's almost your turn, just a little longer.

Are you so nervous?

Since you're hiding on the toilet all the time?

It's just...

I...

This is all new for me. -You know what?

Just be yourself.

And if they don't like you...

then they're not worth it.

Hurry up, she's waiting for you.

I'm just going to wash my hands.

Can I offer you something else? -Call a lawyer.

What's your most expensive wine?

De Masi Amore from 1994.

It's a very beautiful wine, from the Cantina Privata.

This wine... -How much?

We only have one bottle. -How much?

600 euros.

It's an exquisite choice. -Sold.

What? -One bottle of Masi whatever Baron wine.

Please. -Are you sure you...

Jesus Christ, go get that fucking wine. -My apologies, I'll be right back.

What kind of nonsense is this? 600 euros for a bottle of wine.

This is what I mean. That narrow-minded boring bullshit.

Always playing by the rules. If I want a bottle of 600 euros...

then I will drink that bottle of wine. -Go ahead.

Bye.

I'm sorry, I'm better at cooking than talking.

I'm sorry.

Mrs Volvo just ordered the Masi Amore.

Really? Does she have something to celebrate?

A divorce, I think. Where is it? -In the safe.

Okay guys, let's make a great dessert for the Volvo family.

Yes, chef.

Give me one week.

No, give me one month to figure it out and then I'll be back.

I can't close the restaurant for a month.

Not necessary, Lesley can do the cash register...

and I will call the employment agency for an extra waiter.

Okay, I understand.

It has been a long time since you had some, but this is not going to happen.

I'm going, tonight.

Just take a moment to look at yourself.

An old woman, 35 years old...

who never got over her teenage boyfriend.

Get a fucking life. -Dad.

Thanks for the tip. I'll do just that.

And what about Emma? -She's your daughter. Your daughter.

Ladies and gentlemen, look at this gorgeous wine.

The day has finally come.

Look at this wonderful bottle.

When I'm an adult, I will buy such a bottle and drink it all.

Alone. Fuck you.

I'm going tonight, Angelo.

I'm not cooking anymore.

Put your apron back on. -No.

Put your apron back on right now. -Only if you stay.

Fine, I'm staying.

I deserve love, even though you lost the one you loved.

Shut up. Shut your mouth.

I'm going.

Jim, come and help me.

What happened?

Is he coming back?

Emma, could you change into your nice dress and help out?

Sir, guests are not supposed to... -Lesley, it's fine.

Please put some cheerful music on.

Are you all right?

The Masi Amore of 1994.

From the Cantina Privata of Sandro Boscaini...

made with Corvina grapes among others.

This wine has been... -Just pour it, we're a little thirsty.

Where's my hockey stick?

What? -And where are my hockey shoes?

Mum, I have a flat tire. Can you cancel hockey practice for me?

No, Marius won't take me. He's kissing Chantal in his room.

Women, one big mystery.

Mine for example, has been fooling me all night.

She breaks my heart by pretending she has a lover.

But she doesn't have a lover. My son has been texting her.

Who had hockey practice. Do you get that?

Who wants to taste the wine? -My wife, she chose the wine.

Tonight is the night my wife can be a little crazy.

So you can stand to be with me for a little while longer.

Fine. -It's fine.

I would hope so.

Yes, lovely, I would like to try it.

Roos, come here.

Stay here.

Can I please have the check?

Jim, ganache?

Take it, chef.

Valentine, can you break the pink meringues?

Sir, could you... -Call me Frank.

Frank, could you get me the raspberries and strawberries?

Thank you. -I need a piping bag and the violets.

I'll get the plates.

Could you also get me the yellow piping bags?

Thank you.

Yellow piping bags.

I have to tell you something really important.

It's rude to sit at a guest's table.

There are living 16.915.368 people in the Netherlands.

Half of them are male.

Lose the gays, elderly people and children and you're left with 5,1 million men.

One third of those men is not married.

And half of the married men are unhappily married.

What's your point, Einstein?

My point, miss Mia is...

that there are still 3.875.000 potential men for you to choose from.

What's your name?

Lesley.

Listen up, Lesley.

You were right about what you just said.

Nobody wants me.

I just said that because I was offended.

So if you see me sitting here in all my sadness, you think:

There she is. The woman of my dreams.

I would like to take a walk with her in the snow in the Vondelpark...

I want to hold her hand and never let go...

until those hands are all wrinkled up... -Let me stop you right there.

You can't use me as a potential guinea pig because I am and want to stay single.

I don't like walks or hold hands until they're wrinkled like old apples.

I don't want to pick out furniture for my kids at Ikea.

I don't go to Ikea. Mass production destroys the world.

Just like kids.

It's worse for the environment to have a child...

than to ride on a scooter all your life.

I want a chemical reaction in my brain.

I want my brain to produce adrenaline, endorphins and dopamine...

so that I will fall in love with a girl and stay with her forever.

I want to be irrational and primitive.

I want to be blind to her faults, like her music...

eat what she eats, even though I don't like it.

I want to neglect my job and my mother.

And then, after about three years...

my brain will be back to normal. I'll see her negative sides...

and try less hard to be nice...

but we will already be so used to each other that we can't live alone anymore.

We don't need those chemicals, it's not infatuation anymore, it's love.

Which is a necessity, so I can focus on my career again...

to support the girl. And otherwise it wouldn't be nice for my mom.

Do you get that?

Are you Walter?

Where's Silvia?

I'm Silvia.

No, you're not Silvia.

Yes, I am. I'm Silvia.

Silvia#planetheartheart.

We talked online every night the past few months.

But...

where is the other Sylvia who was just here?

The other Silvia?

There was no one here.

He showed me my seat.

Wasn't there a woman sitting across from me the past hour?

Very beautiful, she looked like a woman from an old movie.

You've been alone the whole night.

You've been talking to yourself all night.

Was she pretty? The other Silvia?

Yes.

Should I leave?

If I don't... -No.

I'm glad, I would love to cause a chemical reaction in someone's brain.

Why do I have to go with you?

Why can't you stay here?

I can't.

Why not? Do you have a restaurant in Buenos Aires?

No, a son.

He's four years old.

The city of your dreams.

Would you dance the tango with me in Buenos Aires?

Damn, this is a really nice wine.

Tonight someone said to me that real love is like life, it only happens once.

The love of my life pretends to have a lover...

orders a bottle of wine of 600 euros...

and I still love her.

The dessert, madam.

I'll be right back.

Waiter.

There's a dog here. -That girl there has a dog.

This is not done. It's a restaurant.

What else do you have in your zoo? -Waiter.

That girl is choking.

Try to relax, okay? Relax.

Aren't you hungry?

When my parents got divorced, I had a friend, Noortje.

She had brown curls and 167 freckles in her face.

I counted them once. I took me a whole Saturday.

Some freckles were so close together, that I kept losing count.

I was the only one that could see her.

Somebody jumped in front of the train.

So sad.

That's why I was so late.

You have beautiful eyes in your face.

I would flush that thing through the toilet if I was you.

Very dangerous.

And yes. -Yes, what?

I'm a Cancer.

The first of July.

No. No, no, I have to do it myself.

One, two, three.

There we go.

Go.

For Clyde...

who will always keep searching, just like Siddhartha.

From Bonnie...

who will always follow you.

I'm sorry, I...

Could you pull over?

Sorry, Frank.

I can't.

Valentine.

Whether it's in twelve years or twenty...

but someday... -Someday.

Someday.

See you tomorrow?

Yes, see you tomorrow.

Listen, you're really sweet, but I can't accept all these gifts.

I've known you for just a week. -Fight days.

Yes. Sorry, I like you very much, but I'm not ready yet to be exclusive.

You're great, but not for me.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

61 euros in tips.

That's good.

Strange, right? That those people never cancelled.

This was some night.

Yes.

Chef? -No.

Yes, thank you. -Thank you.

Cheers.

Okay, sorry ladies and gentlemen, I have to go.

I have a date with the very best girl ever.

See you later. -Have fun.

And be safe. -See you tomorrow.

Emma, would you like to go look for a new house tomorrow?

A house with two bedrooms. -Or three.

Yes.

Hello, this is Sarah. -And Maarten.

I had made a reservation, but my date... -That's me.

He had to save a pigeon and I injured my wrist...

so I forgot to cancel, I'm so sorry.

My apologies as well, it was actually my fault.

But the pigeon is doing fine. Bye.

Michelin star for Brasserie Valentine

pregnant

festive opening Kevin Patisserie

graduated

widow inherits millions

I think about you a lot, I'm moving to the Netherlands for my son's education

I hope we can get reacquainted again love, your Clyde