All language subtitles for She Spies - S02E18 - Witness Protection

Come on, you've been
scanning for the past 10 minutes.

Either pick a station or turn it off.

I'm just trying to find the right
music so we can get this party started.

Come on, I got the party right
here. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no.

I am not listening to four
hours of the Partricks family.

The very fact that you like this stuff
is something I don't want to know about.

Ooh, 50 North Barstow.
Vegas, here we come! Remember

what happens in Vegas? Stays in Vegas.

Except for what we
promised we'd tell Dee Dee. Yeah.

You know, Cross should have
given us all the weekend off. Yeah,

I guess someone had to be on call.

Wouldn't it be nice if
evildoers clocked out once in a while?

Except summer vacations. Gave up
world domination for the holidays?

What do we do if Cross calls?

Pretend we're in a tunnel.

The whole way to Vegas? Works for me.

Don't answer it if
it's Cross. Oh, Dee Dee.

Hey, girl, we were just talking about you.

Hey, guys, are you having fun?
Yeah, but we miss you. That's so sweet.

I wish I were with you, too.

What's up? Nothing.
Just calling to apologize.

Apologize? For what? This.

Hello, ladies.

They're three career
criminals with one shot at freedom.

Now they're working for
the feds who put them away.

These are the women of She
Spies. Bad girls gone good.

I question my mind.

I'm really sorry, you guys. Oh, don't be.

We know Cosmo to call us.
So, you're not mad at me?

No, why would we be mad at you?

Just because you took
advantage of our trusting

natures? Trashed our
vacation. Wasted our gas.

Broke David Cassidy's heart.

What a head backstage
passes to his concert.

His weekend head, come on,
get happy, written all over it.

So, you guys are gonna wait until I
least expect it, then get back at me, right?

No. No way. Yeah, see, the thing is,
you guys answered that way too fast.

Seriously, Deeds, we're fine.

Ladies, join me. You need Luis
Garcia, alleged Mexican mafia boss.

That face says more than alleged.

FBI's been trying to
nail him for ten years.

Now they finally think they
have the charges to make it stick.

Like the D.A. was sure he had O.J.?

Hopefully better.

Garcia shot one of his rivals on
a city street in broad daylight.

Three citizens witnessed the crime.

FBI put them in
protective custody until they were

able to testify at
Garcia's preliminary hearing.

Unfortunately, there was a gas
explosion at the safe house.

Miraculously, one of
the witnesses survived.

Joseph Baker.

Turns out he was in the
backyard playing football

with his eight-year-old son, Tyler.

Wow, their lucky day.

Must have been in the cards.

Luck of the draw. Roll the dice.

I knew it.

You guys are mad at me for
not getting to go to Vegas.

Sorry.

Please continue.

The evidence has led the FBI to believe
that the explosion was an inside job.

Which is where we come in?

Exactly.

Didi, you'll hack into the computer
mainframe at FBI Protective Services.

Look for any evidence of
unauthorized access. And Shane,

you'll need to get Didi through security.

And me?

We're moving the witness and his son to
the beach house to assure their safety.

Oh, I've never been that
great with little boys.

Come to think of it, I've never
been that great with big boys either.

Strangers in our house?

I'm not exactly thrilled,
especially about the kid.

Come on, it'll be fun to have an
eight-year-old around. We can play Simon Says,

read Cat in the Hat, make Jiffy Pop.

Now remind me again, how is that
different from hanging out with you?

All I know is we're gonna have to share
the bathroom, waterproof the sheets, and...

Hide the lingerie.

Come on, guys, you've got this all
wrong. This is a poor, scared little kid.

He needs a place to feel safe.

Then you better keep him out of my room.

Don't worry.

Satin sheets and massage oil
aren't exactly kid-friendly.

The only bedtime stories happening
there are where the wild things are.

What did you do to your room?

Made it more kid-friendly.

Don't you think all the stuff you
bought is a little girly, poor boy?

He's only eight.

But men in tights?

A lot of superheroes wear tights.

And none of them have
healthy relationships with women.

Have you forgotten that
Batman lives in a cave

and hangs out with a
boy wonder half his age?

Don't worry. I know what I'm
doing. I grew up with a brother.

The one who loves Babs,
Liza, and Pirates of Penzance.

So he likes show tunes,
and he married a sailor.

What's your point?

Oh, they're here.

I'll get it.

Hi. Hi. Hi, I'm Cassie.
This is Dee Dee and Shane.

Hi, I'm Joseph.

And, uh...

This is Tyler.

Say hello, Tyler.

It's okay. He just needs to feel at home.

Tyler, we have a room all ready for you.

You wanna come see?

Wow.

Please make yourself at home.

Thank you. Sorry to put you all in this.

Oh, it's no trouble at all.

Looks like this assignment
might not be so bad after all.

This will be your room.

Why are all those stupid pictures on the
wall? We can take them down if you want.

I guess you won't. I wanna
play Demon Ninja Warrior! I

don't know that game. I wanna go home!

Okay, well, I can learn to play
that ninja thing. What's in here?

This is your underwear!

It's cool.

I can see through it.

Okay.

You know what? That's not to
play with. Okay. This is good.

You're feeling more comfortable. But
we're not allowed to jump on the bed.

Okay. Tyler, I'm setting a boundary.

Please stop jumping now.

Okay, you have two choices.
You can either keep jumping,

or we can do something
really fun together.

Okay, that's it. I'm taking you out.

I mean, you're getting a time out.

Ow!

Ow, you little... Yeah, you better run.

Sponsored by Pfizer.
Dedicated to helping people

live longer, happier, healthier lives.

Daddy, daddy, daddy!

She hit me! I didn't hit you, he bit me.

And I'll take that now, thank you.

Ty, did you bite Aunt Dee Dee?

Not on purpose. She grabbed me, and it
just happened by accident. You grabbed him?

He was jumping on the bed.

Oh, yeah, see, I let him do that at home.

He gets a little wired sometimes,
and it helps him burn off some energy.

Hey, Ty, what do you say we go
outside and count the sailboats, okay?

Come on.

That is not a kid. It's Cujo in disguise.

Weren't you the one who said
that he was just alone and scared?

I'm changing that to I'm
scared to be alone with him.

Come on. Part of being a little boy
entails jumping on beds and not listening.

Come to think of it, that's
part of being a big boy, too.

Okay, but don't say I
didn't warn you. All right,

now that we got the
lowdown on Eddie Munster,

Dee Dee and I have to go
to the Justice Department.

Oh, Dee Dee, you forgot your purse.

I'm not falling for that.

I bet you guys rigged my purse to get
back at me for the Vegas thing. Man,

aren't you over the whole
revenge thing? Come on, we

told you we're not mad at
you. Talk about paranoid.

What, you don't trust us? Don't
take this the wrong way, but no.

But nice try.

I think I got him calmed down.

It must be hard on him
being away from home.

It's hard on both of us.

One second, my life seemed pretty normal,
and the next minute, it changed forever.

I know what that's like.

So how'd you get involved in all this?

I was returning a car I'd been working
on to a client. I own a small body shop.

Anyway, all of a sudden, I
hear this loud popping sound,

and when I looked down this alley to
see what it was, a man was being shot.

Pretty brave to
testify against Luis Garcia.

He's a very dangerous man. I just want
to do what's right and protect my son.

He has no idea what's going on, except
all of a sudden he has an Aunt Cassie,

an Aunt Dee Dee, and an Aunt Shane.

If I can ask, where's Tyler's mother?

She left us a year ago.

Yeah, Janice came to L.A. in search of
fame and fortune, but she found me instead.

She thought she'd be happy being a wife
and mother, but it didn't work out that way.

Okay, enough of the sad story.

Is there a place I can wash home?

Yeah, just at the top of
the stairs to the right.

Thanks.

For everything you're doing.

That child should not be allowed to breed.

I can't believe he ripped the
posters off the wall. No, I'm with him.

The only reason a man should ever
wear tights is if he loses a bet.

You're just picking on me because
you're mad at me for ruining your weekend.

Dee Dee, I'm not mad at you.
When have I ever been mad at you?

Oh, are you kidding?

Lots of times.

Name one.

Any time we're on surveillance.

Such a waste of time.

Want to play I Spy?

No.

Want to see who can spot a Ryan's belt
first? No, I don't want to play a game.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99
bottles of beer, take... It's not a game.

It's a song.

Come to think of it, why are we friends?

Hi, Tyler.

Where's my dad?

Oh, he's just upstairs taking a shower.

Do you want some cookies? I hate cookies.

Okay. Guess you'll pass on the
smokes and coffee, too, then.

Why aren't me and my dad
staying at your house?

Because I'm your auntie.

No, you're not. I know we're hiding
from bad guys. They want to kill my dad.

How do you know that? Does it
look like I'm still in diapers?

Okay, um...

I'm not your auntie.

I work for the government. You see,
I'm trying to protect you and your dad.

But don't worry, nothing's
gonna happen to either one of you.

You're a girl. How can you protect us?

I'm a spy, okay?

I fight, I climb, I... Probably
shouldn't have told you I'm a spy.

Girls can't be spies.

Hey, girls may have cooties,
but they can definitely be spies.

Prove it. Tell me a spy story.

I can't. It's classified information.

Oh, you know, that was my
grandmother's vase. Can you put that back, please?

Tell me a story. Okay.

Okay. Maybe just one.

An unclassified one.

We went to shoot pool once,

and we met these bikers there that were
trying to hustle people out of their money.

That means cheating them.

So I decided to cheat back.

So good for your first time. Bet you won
a lot of money from those guys over there.

Oh, about a thousand bucks or so.

I guess it was like on one of
those beginner's lucky streaks.

How about if we play for that much? I
mean, maybe I'll have a lucky streak.

How's about if I sink, oh, I don't know,

the rest of my balls on the table in one
shot, you guys pay me, oh, I don't know,

The $1,000 you won from them?

And what if you, who I don't know, don't?

I'm sure we can think of something.

Sounds dreamy.

There you go.

Sorry, Fonzie. I thought you
just hate getting hustled at pool.

I don't think so, sweetheart.

Told you the story. Now
put the vase back, please.

That story sucked.

Spy kids could have done it better.

Well, spy kids are too
young to get into a bar,

and I doubt they can
make a six-hole bank shot.

Maybe not, but they have
an anti-gravity machine.

You little... Tyler?

I'm so sorry, Aunt Cassie. I didn't
mean to drop it. It was an accident.

I'm sorry, Dad. It's
okay. It's okay. I'm sorry.

I'm sure he didn't mean to do it.
I'll pay you whatever it's worth.

Don't worry about it.

Hey, Tiger, what do you say we go
upstairs and I'll read you a story, okay?

You're the best dad ever! Let's go.

Wow.

Yeah. Mr. Garcia, I'm at the
courthouse. The judge won't grant a postponement.

Even after the accident at the safe house?

I'm sorry, sir.

Don't worry about it. I know how
to take care of that last witness.

Tyler fell asleep while I
was reading him his story.

That's funny. He had a much more
creative reaction to my story.

He can be a little rambunctious, I know.

But, uh, ever since his mom left,
he's had a lot of anger issues.

I mean, she hasn't even
tried to contact him.

Must be hard being a single father.

But it doesn't leave much
room for a social life.

If you mean dating, um...

You know, I just put the
last thing on my mind.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Come on.

You must have a date
every night of the week.

Not in this line of work.

Really?

A beautiful woman like you?

I was dating this doctor
once that I really liked.

Wow.

That's what I was going for.
That thing with your tongue?

I don't know how that's
physically possible, and I'm a doctor.

Maybe you just need a
little hands-on training.

Any chance we can hold
class upstairs? Tempt me.

Damn, I gotta go.

Now?

Use this time to think of all the
ways that I can make this up to you.

Okay.

Just tell me.

Is it another guy?

Actually, it is.

And two women.

What a night that was. It went from bad
to worse when I found out I had a new boss.

Jack?

Maybe we're in the wrong place.

Nice move. I've always been
able to think fast on my back.

No, I meant... So, you're the she-spice.

I have to say I'm disappointed.

I blame the lighting.

You allowed yourselves to walk right
into a trap. You never saw it coming.

It's hard to believe the chairman
thinks you're the best he can get.

Okay, point made. You're not
impressed. We get it. So what happens now?

We die.

Hey, that didn't hurt as much
as I thought. We can't be dead.

We wouldn't all be in the same place.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Technically, I am the only
one who isn't a criminal.

Okay, Jack.

Joke's over.

You can come out now.

Jack isn't here.

And if those bullets were
real, you wouldn't be here either.

Why wasn't one of you
deployed to watch your back?

It's basic espionage
training. Spy stuff. 101.

Come on. We're on vacation.

In this job, there are no vacations.

Look, mister whoever you are.

Cross.

The name is Cross.

If you're so unhappy with our train,

then why don't you just
take it up with our boss?

Jack's been
reassigned. I am your new boss.

I met your boss at the hospital.

He came by to visit us
after the explosion.

Seemed like a good guy.

Well, he's fine as long as
you don't get him angry.

How about mission accomplished, bad
guy in custody, world a better place?

Anything along those lines would work.

Sense of humor. I like that.

Oh, you didn't mean to be funny?

We said we were sorry. Actually,

we said that there was a
breakdown in goal achievement.

Only because we thought it'd be more
comfortable with government speak.

You want government speak?

How about the she-spy
program is terminated

due to unforeseen and
extreme circumstances?

Oh, and don't let the cell
door hit you on the way in.

Uh, I, uh, thought you should know.
They finished interrogating Miller.

He insists that Kovacs kept
him in the dark about his plans.

Didn't trust him to know too much.

That's it.

The man who knew too much. That's the
movie Doris Day sang that song in. Right,

except for your timing.
No, don't you get it?

In the movie, they kept the
kidnapped boy at the consulate.

Because consulates are
sovereign territory.

You couldn't legally look
around one, even if you wanted to.

I think I've got some
stuff to do over there.

We know Kovac works for the
Chinese, and there's a consulate in L.A.

Just because we thought of
it doesn't mean it's wrong.

Oh, come on.

I'd be doing the same thing if I
were you, spinning wild theories.

What if it's not wild?

It's worth a shot. You've got to
give us a chance to make things right.

Give me one good reason.

Because if any other agent made this
mistake, they wouldn't be going to prison.

All right.

I'll have the chairman authorize an
insertion-extraction, with one condition.

The information Rain has is too
powerful to let a foreign power control.

If you can't rescue him, your
orders are to terminate him.

Kill him? You've got to be
kidding. That's not part of the deal.

We're not assassins.

You asked for the chance to make it right.

No, you're asking for the impossible.

Staging area. Downstairs, two minutes.

If you're not there, I'll know your
decision, and you will know your future.

So you killed someone?

No. Actually, we ended up saving him.

Well, I could never kill anyone. I mean,

just seeing Garcia kill that guy
in the alley was like a nightmare.

Tyler?

Speaking of nightmares... Tyler!

What have you done?
Tyler, this isn't like you.

Don't say you didn't mean to this time.

I just wanted to make it
look like my room at home.

Can't we go home, Daddy?

I'll take care of this. It's all
right, buddy. This is just an accident.

No unauthorized computer
access. No paper trails.

No suspicious phone records. No snacks.

Except for a jar of stale trail mix.

Sounds like whoever gave
Garcia the location to the

safe house must have
had first-hand knowledge.

Which means it's probably an
agent directly involved in the case.

She'd go to the Federal Archives
building, check out Garcia's records,

get the names of any federal
agents who've had contact with him.

It's a long shot, but it might
lead us to who he's bought off.

I think about it, and
yeah, it makes sense.

I think about it, and
yeah, it makes sense.

Hi.

We're from ISD, and we need to go
through some of your archived records.

Well, you've got 30 seconds,
because that's when I close up.

What if I promise to lock
up for you when we're done?

Well, you look like you have
honest faces, high security clearances,

and it's quitting time, so...

Have fun.

That's the spirit.

M... K... H... G. All right, you
want 81 to 89 or 90 to the present?

I'll take the 80s for 100, Alex.

Did you hear that sound?

That loud clicking and beeping sound?

That's the one.

We're locked in.

I can't believe he
stopped for grande mochas.

Stay tuned. She Spies will be right back.

Sponsored by Pfizer.
Dedicated to helping people

live longer, happier, healthier lives.

No windows, no phones,
no air vents, no escape.

All right, this lock is on a timer,

which means it probably
won't open until the morning.

Okay, let's review for a moment.

We're locked in.

Nobody can hear us. Our cell
phones can't get a signal.

Those grande mochas are really
starting to live up to their name.

Well, it could be worse.

Could it have had two grande mochas?

This is nothing.

Remember that time we had to escape
from a giant trash compactor? Ah!

But then we landed on all
this nice, soft... Garbage?

I've got a bad feeling
about the immediate future.

Me too.

Someone threw away 50 simple
things you can do to save the Earth.

Well, they could have
at least recycled it.

Remember complaining
about being too close?

We're about to get a whole lot closer.

I just remembered I forgot to
return Star Wars to Blockbuster. What,

I can't face death in Mayfly?

I've got an idea.

The chute is 12 feet up.
True. It's the only escape. True.

But we can't reach it. So? Two
ways out. What's the first one?

Act of God. What's
happened? What's the second one?

When the walls get close enough, Dee
Dee, you do your famous wall walk-up.

You grab onto the sides of the
chute, hang down, we'll climb up you,

and we'll pull you out right before you
get crushed. Let's re-examine the God thing.

Next time, find a Buick.

Okay, guys, I'm going for it.

Here, Shane, let me help you.

You hanging in there, Deeds?

Let's hurry up.

How you doing, Deeds?

So togetherness is not always a bad thing.

Oh, yeah. You know what I
remember most about that

compactor? It smelled
like food. I'm starving.

I have peanuts in my purse.

Oh, yeah. Which I left at home.

Because you thought we rigged it.

Funny, huh?

Tyler helped me clean the
room. He'd like to apologize.

Did he say apologize or terrorize?

I know he's been acting out a
lot, but he really is sorry.

Why don't you give him a
chance? He's just a kid.

I guess it's all right as long
as there's no hugging involved.

Ty? Ty?

I'll just go get him a glass of milk.

Your dad says there's
something you want to say to me?

I'm sorry, Kathy. I
really didn't mean to be bad.

Yes, you did.

But I know why. Okay, I know what
it's like to grow up without a mother.

How would you know?

My mother left when I was a kid, too.

I used to blame myself,
and then I'd get mad,

and then I'd do things to make everybody
else mad so they knew how I was feeling.

It took me a long time to realize that
it wasn't my fault that my mother left,

and it's not your fault either.

Cassie, could you tell me
another spy story? Sure.

I'm going to tell you about
how I was reunited with my mom.

It turns out she was
kidnapped by a foreign government

and brainwashed to be one of their spies.

Really?

Yep.

And her assignment was to kill a
really good man. And I had to stop her.

Injection of warfarin, 2.7 milligrams.

Yes, doctor.

Get out of here! What do you think
you're doing? If she injects that serum,

your patient's dead. What's going on here?

Come on, now!

Come on!

Listen to me.

You're not Brenda Morrison.

Your name is Catherine McBain.

You've got to remember.

I'm your daughter. Do
you remember what you used

to tell me when you'd
tuck me into bed at night?

I remember laying in the bed next to
me. We'd try to count those stars.

I love you.

The child never forgets her mother.

You'd say I was your son?

And your moon?

And my stars? Cassie!

There's a lot here on
Garcia, but nothing that helps.

Oh, here's something.

What's it say?

Surveillance photo of Luis
Garcia with unknown associate.

Let's see our mystery man.

Oh, my God, that's Joseph.

So much for being an innocent victim.

We have to find a way to warn Cassie.

That timer doesn't release the door
until 6 a.m. We can't wait that long.

So how long am I going to have to
stay here? Be patient, my friend.

Look, man, I took care of the
other witnesses like you asked. Now,

what's the problem? Unfortunately,
there was a delay with your visa.

Joseph, do you want milk with your coffee?

Uh, yeah, please. And
some sugar. Thank you.

Look, the longer I stay here, the
greater the risk to both of us.

Do you understand me?
We'll pick you up tonight.

Who was that?

I was just checking messages.

Oh, I thought I heard
you talking with someone.

Um, do you want to have dessert out
on the deck? It's a beautiful night.

Sounds great. Let me take that.

It's on a timer, remember?
I know, but if we can get

the timer to move faster,
then the lock will open.

Where's Marty's
time-traveling DeLorean when you need it?

An electrical outlet
runs on 110 volts, right?

Right.

Unless you're in Europe
or Asia, in which case

the voltage is just...
Don't work with me here.

If we run two legs of 110
volts, that'll give us 220 volts,

which will make the clock move twice as
fast. Yeah, as long as we're dreaming,

why don't we get four
legs? Who's dreaming?

How many batteries do you think it
takes to put the boom in that box?

Enough to blow the head off that bunny?

I'll be right back. I'm just
gonna get us more coffee. Okay.

Duncan Blue?

Duncan, I need you to run
a check on this number.

There wasn't an area code on the
caller ID, so it must be local.

Okay, I've got it. It's listed as
a corporation, United Holdings.

Let me do a quick search. Okay.

Okay, I've got it. The primary
shareholder for United Holdings is...

The Luis Garcia, are you sure?

I didn't create the database, so
I can't vouch for its accuracy,

but these things are rarely wrong.

Thanks, Duncan.

You should have stuck
to being Aunt Cassie.

I was never good with the June Cleavers.

That's all right. Let's go.

You're the one who blew up the safe house.

I do what needs to be done.

There's a bad guy cliche.

You're never going to
get away with this alive.

Garcia's never going to let you live.

Garcia needs me.

I'm the one that came up with
the plan to go undercover as a

phony witness so that I could
get rid of the real witnesses.

Now Tyler and I
disappear, and Garcia skates.

Kill her, or we'll dump her
when we get to the desert.

ISD, get your hands on your head.

I came to tell you Joseph works for
Garcia, and I guess you already knew that.

And we thought the kid was a nightmare.

She Spies will be right back.

You'd be happy to know Tyler's
been reunited with his mother.

Seems she didn't abandon them after all.

She was run off by Joseph after
she discovered his mob connections.

He kept her quiet by threatening their
son, and she stayed away to protect him.

Well, let's hope she's better
at discipline than his dad.

Women are better at everything.

Sorry.

Have fun in Vegas.

We're not going to Vegas. Where
are you going? To the airport.

Our flight to Maui leaves at noon.
You're going to Hawaii without me?

How could you? Payback time.

Aloha!

I can't believe they're going to Hawaii.

At least I know they
won't want revenge anymore.

Yes, Mr. Chairman.

I'll let them know.

Right away, sir.

Tell who about what right away?

Didi, are you eavesdropping? The
chairman has an immediate assignment for you.

All of you.

Please, no.

Don't make me do it.

But it was you who said women are
better at everything. Remember?

Hi, guys.

Are you having fun?

Spies. Someone wants
this congressman dead.

The only way to catch a
killer is to become one.

Please don't do this.
Just because I can tap into

the mind of a psycho
doesn't mean I am a psycho.

And it all ends with a wedding
that will leave you speechless.

It's gonna blow. Throw it!

On an all-new SheSpies.