Original subtitles

[door opens]

[door closes]

This is what happens when you miss an episode of Shameless.

Your entire life goes completely to shit.

[door closes]

Anybody who had a fine deal?

Well, when I was in the ICU for the last month,

we were kind of hoping you were dead.

You good?

I learned I'm not an alcoholic.

What about finishing college? Is that off the table?

I got a professor. He's gonna help me find something.

A tech startup.

It just might be a while before I get paid, you know?

This management thing is a pain in my ass. I'm losing money.

Tell you what, pay yourself an extra 50 cents an hour,

make up the difference.

An extra buck an hour.

Done.

Nice stroller.

Did you get it?

Well, if I was in the park, I'm gonna sell it.

I won't go down on me, 'cause I'm not circumcised.

He has all his extra skin, and he kind of freaks me out.

I can't feel the thing.

Don't worry.

We all share.

I'm meeting an old high school friend for dinner.

You whole friend, Denise.

Please tell me she has a deck.

You have no balance sheet, no income or cash flow forecasts.

Are you healed on gross revenues or shit?

I was seriously not gonna have sex,

'cause I kind of took a Viagra.

Oh, yeah, just walk right by, ignore your father,

that you've tried to drown in the river.

I was only telling this truth.

♪♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ We'll get so much sure of ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Come on, Frank! Open your door!

Come on, Frank!

♪ ♪

Open your door!

♪ ♪

Hey, Hector? Hi!

Hey, it's me, I'm out!

Hang on!

Hi, you still there?

I'm sorry. Uh, can you work today?

Santa's called in sick again.

Yeah, my entire business bullshit, too.

Yeah, you can.

Oh, that's great. Okay, I'll see you at 10.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

What's your living at Caleb's?

Caleb's sleeping with a chick.

And he's by?

No dude is by, all right?

Look, dick, you're supposed to be gay.

See you guys, Mark.

I haven't decided yet.

Probably, got a kampaly, he's looking bad, too.

All right, can you guys please stop talking about looking mad?

You're gonna give me a boner.

You're asleep at all last night?

No, if I wake up with morning water, it'll pop my stitches.

16, how you gonna knock that wood for 72 hours?

Eyes on the prize, my brother.

Yeah, what's his?

A blowy from Dominique.

Shit, who made you cut your dick?

Yeah, man, no girls worth that.

She didn't make me.

I wanted to.

You guys just don't understand true love.

Uh, you know, it's pretty cold out there.

You better put on a turtleneck.

Whoa!

Excuse you!

Oh, you gotta forgive Carl.

His man is wearing his foreskin.

Stop it!

This gives me the willies thinking about someone near my junk with a knife.

Where is my vacuum cleaner?

upstairs, probably.

Grab our cleaner shit.

Saw that crap.

I'm helping Fiona with the bills over at Patsy's,

places in a financial shitstone.

Yeah, the alibi, too.

This fitlon is getting things in order.

Which makes me the house husband.

I keep forgetting about the weird situation you got going on with the two wives.

It's not weird.

It's modern.

You gotta control on me a vent diagram to explain how that works.

What's up with Mopie?

Boy trouble.

Girl trouble.

I'll draw a vent diagram to explain that, too.

Where's my vacuum?

What are you doing?

Uh, vacuum haul closet, and I'm getting rid of Frank shit.

That fuck head's back in the house.

Okay, nails the door shut from the inside.

How'd the get in the house?

I don't know.

Window, better.

Get a restraining order on your ass.

That would mean that I cared, and I don't anymore.

Aren't you angry with him about destroying your future?

Did me favor.

Come on, let me bring his crap downstairs.

Good morning!

My wasted sperm's frag.

You're walking in a weird way, but you're walking.

Don't you go away, Frank.

Is that any way to greet your soon-to-be ex-father?

Ex-father.

We would be so lucky.

Filling out the paperwork to dis-in-herit you abortion should've been.

Dis-in-herit, whilst we don't get that jelly jar?

Part of the three pieces of silver, you're still from a lot of in.

Oh, were the shame and the embarrassment?

Go ahead, joke all you like, but once my parental rights are terminated,

you can no longer use the Gallagher family name.

Hallelujah!

I'm just gonna be like, "Share and go buy Fiona."

Here's your shit.

I'm taking my room back, and I'm padlock in the house.

Aw, you made me toast.

Thanks.

But bye.

You're gonna wanna work.

You can't get rid of me that easily.

I should've talked to anybody about what happened at the wedding.

That's me.

Me neither.

Two mirrors of a pressed feeling, you know.

Come on.

Come on.

Let's go.

What?

He's the only one who stands up fighting chance to become a real Gallagher.

Oh, fucking way.

You can't just take him for it.

Yes, I can.

I'm his father, and he is staying in the will, aren't you?

Do you think in his own way, Frank's actually pretty good dad?

No.

Jesus.

Well, look who it is.

Beauty and the Beast.

I'll leave it to you two to figure out who's who.

I'm glad you're walking again, Frank.

I was praying for permanent paralysis.

Where'd you get the stroller, Debbs?

You know anything, Monica?

And I could, for just stroller, you guys around in was a Kroger shopping cart.

Hey, give me that.

It's not yours.

Well, apparently it's not yours either.

Maureen Wilson looks like you already cleaned up the cash with a orphan angry, so I'll take the platinum.

You can't do that, Frank.

Should I call Miss Wilson, let her know you found it?

Fine, take it.

Careful, Liam.

I used to think Frank would be a real dad someday, too.

You're in that little spic you sneezed out of the cavern.

You called your uterus better start looking for a new last name.

I'm disinheriting both of you and taking back the Gallagher name.

Gladly.

And while I'm at it, Frank is going to go by her middle name from now on.

Harriet.

Harry.

So she has no more connection to you.

Harry?

Well, that's a perfect name for the diesel dyke.

She's going to grow up to be someday.

Come on, kid.

We got work to do.

Hey, Carl.

Hey, bunch of us are going to the movies tonight.

Monica?

I told you I can't hang out with you for 72 hours.

I thought that we just couldn't fool around.

Even just being in your vicinity gives me a bone of that.

That's so sweet.

Seriously, stop.

Hey, freak fuck.

Where'd you got a training operation?

I only told a couple of people.

Got your penis chopped off.

Now you're a lady.

Now that you're that far off to begin with.

See you around, Bruce Jenner.

Hey, Bruce Jenner is the dude.

So fuck you guys.

Thanks for the compliment.

Don't listen to that.

OK, I think you're madly for what you did.

And on the 72 hours and one second is over.

I'm going to loosen your belt, turn off your pants.

Oh.

Then you're underwear.

Oh, no, stop.

Then, stop your lollipop.

[LAUGHS]

Fuck.

I thought you said I just couldn't go near you.

Where are you going?

We have class.

Doctor, clinic now.

So, Burger Well done with crispy fries and a Denver omelette extra hand.

Let me get your refill on these sodas.

We'll get that cleared up for you in just a sec.

You get my one or one 14.

Oh, yeah, I did.

You're two hours late.

I called my lender, said it wasn't busy.

So you figured you'd just come in whenever you felt like it?

It has laundry to do.

Well, I'm going to let's go with it.

I'm glad you guys feel like you can just change my schedule

whenever you want.

Wish I'd always let us do.

In case you haven't noticed, John's not here anymore.

Excuse me.

Yeah, that's too bad.

Hey, please, please don't.

Philip, Tito, hey, see you in your intern.

Nice to meet you.

All right, follow me.

I'll show you around.

You can start by getting coffee for the three months' good tears.

Who?

The owners, Philip.

[APPLAUSE]

Sarah, head of sales and marketing.

Black coffee, extra hot splash at 2%.

Okay.

Jesse, I brought the ad space on your stupid network every Sunday.

What you could do is cut me in deal for the playoffs.

Joe, brains behind the operation and the VC guy,

raised the money to start this place.

Okay?

New heated floors.

It gets cold.

Green tea steeped for three minutes, one true via.

Gene, tech.

Four double shots of espresso before noon,

where the new pair of socks every day throws out the old ones.

You'll help them put them on.

He doesn't like to take the goggles off.

Happy that.

Sign a self-explanatory.

Kitchen is yours, too.

There's a grocery list on the bulletin board.

Three million.

[APPLAUSE]

[APPLAUSE]

Hey, listen, you get paid.

You don't be in the senior intern?

No.

But last in your intern, just got a job of post-marketing.

100 grand a year.

It's only here eight months, so.

But you can get started with the coffee and the tea.

Yeah.

Right?

And Phil, give me an ice-soil latte.

[INAUDIBLE]

[INAUDIBLE]

[INAUDIBLE]

When is this?

Frank Gallagher.

My son Liam.

Looking for some workers to help with a home masonry project.

Three guys.

Strong physique in a dumb disposition.

You, you, you.

Make me proud, my one and only son.

Very proud.

The supplies I need.

Frank fucking Gallagher.

[LAUGHS]

You got money for one's Frank.

Credit card.

And could I get a $400 cash advance on that card

and keep $100 for yourself?

Whatever you say, Mrs. Wilson.

[INAUDIBLE]

Oh.

I'll come in and come home last night or answer my text.

Busy.

Get a elaborate.

I don't know.

I asked Denise.

Is that what this is about?

My high school girlfriend.

Your high school girlfriend.

Who you fuck?

What are you talking about?

I saw you with her last night.

You spying on me?

Yeah.

'Cause I knew you'd been cheating on me.

I wasn't cheating.

So you didn't fuck Denise then?

Cheating would be if I suck some guys, Clark.

All right?

Say you didn't sleep with her.

I didn't say that.

I confused.

How do you think I feel?

You're the one calling me a cheater.

You still haven't answered the question.

Did you or did you not?

Fuck.

Denise.

What's the big deal?

What's the big deal?

She's an old friend.

Who you fuck?

We've been sleeping together since we were kids.

Don't make this into something more than it is.

You're taking your dick.

You're putting it into a vagina.

And you're telling me you've never done that.

No, I haven't.

I'm gay.

So am I.

Sticking my dick in a friend's vagina doesn't make me not gay.

You hearing this, Raul?

This is why I didn't want to tell you.

Because I didn't want to freaking out the way you are right now.

Oh, geez.

Sorry.

Hey, how should I react when he's saying you've been screwing a woman?

I don't know.

Maybe by being more accepting of your partner's normal sexually fluid experiences.

Maybe by sharing some of your own.

I don't have anything to share.

I'm gay.

All right?

100% gay.

No one's 100%.

Maybe.

Yeah.

Well, I am.

All right.

So now this inexperienced vagina fucker has got to get to work.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You, Trisha?

I am.

It's brand new.

How much did you want to get?

Like I said in the ad.

At the store it's 25-lantern but I can let it go for two.

About 1500.

You're haggling with me?

Isn't that okay 'cause this is all that?

Tell us about people advertising, baby stuff and when the pregnant lady shows up,

pick up the baby out of her stomach.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You doing all right?

Your son on my penis you tell me.

You don't have a lot of undamaged skin left out here.

Yeah, because you chopped it all off.

I warned you this would be difficult.

It's harder than I thought to my generation.

You can get through this and just put your mind to it.

I literally think about sex 70,000 times a day.

You have to find other things to focus on.

Like what?

Harry balls can work.

Are you grandmother naked?

I've even had patients suggest to me that watching Ted Cruz on C-SPAN is an effective

measure for preventing an erection.

Okay, guys, here's your snappy.

Snappy, snappy, snappy, snappy, snappy.

Here's, I don't know what this is, but you guys like it and here's your tennis racket.

All right, you guys play, daddy's gotta clean this place up.

All right, you have to get any.

Get that out of your mouth.

What are you doing, man?

You're gonna let yourself up like a Christmas tree.

How'd you get my phone?

How'd you get my phone?

Come on now.

I'm gonna move all these weights.

I gotta clean this place up.

Okay, let me just take a break here for a second.

You know what? I'm gonna use you as my weights.

Don't worry, Gemma, I'll use you in my next set.

Please!

Please!

You're heavy.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

(Applause)

Excuse me.

I'm looking for a chad. Is he around?

Chad!

Okay.

Thank you.

Actually, sorry to bother you.

I work at Patsy's. I wanted to let you.

Where?

Patsy's?

Pies?

Oh, yeah, don't put a Franklin.

You know it!

I've been filling in as manager.

I'd like to quit.

Go back to wait and tables.

That's fine.

Do whatever you want.

Are you allowed to say that?

I mean, don't you have to run it by Chad first?

Red velvet.

No, it's not your favorite boss,

but Sherry wanted it for a birthday.

Oh.

Hey.

Hi.

Zony board is on my ass.

Where's that environmental impact study for the redevelopment project?

Which one?

For where side?

I'll call Fitz so many today at safety.

Oh, and this one.

She works at that shit hole over on Franklin.

Patsy's.

Yeah, she wants to quit.

You do?

As manager, I want to go back to wait and tables.

We should just shut it down.

What?

That's just not worth the aggravation.

Well, you can't close it.

Why not?

I depend upon it to feed my family.

You're just quit.

That's the problem with having a family.

Well, I didn't think it would lead you to close an ed.

Well, it's not a slag's legs anyway.

We're planning on redeveloping that whole block.

You sure?

Remember what happened to that chicken place over on the sound?

Homeless guy started that kitchen fire to stay warm,

burn half the building down.

If I stayed on as manager, would you keep it open?

Fine.

Just don't lose any money.

Well, the only way to do that is to fire people.

I mean, the old manager hired so many unreliable.

Did you hear what I said?

Just keep it afloat.

Okay.

Okay.

I know it.

I know it.

Nice wheels.

Ah, thanks.

I jacked it.

For it's one of my boss's cars.

Send me a get it detailed.

That's pretty clean already.

Yeah, what's thinking about just wiping it down?

Pocking in 100 bucks.

I don't have a lot of time to swear I ordered for you.

Sweet.

Thanks.

So what's up?

Sound pretty freaked.

I couldn't find a k-load about that chick.

He's growing there.

I guess there's something to be said for honesty, right?

Except he says it's not cheating.

I didn't come up with that reason.

He says it's a poor guy.

Then he beat you.

It's not kind of sore.

It makes sense.

I'd rather have my girlfriend sleep with another chick than some dude.

You ever fucking got him before?

Fuck no.

Is there 100% straight, right?

Absolutely.

Well, Caleb's trying to argue that no one's 100%.

Any.

This cheaters logic.

Everything about experiment?

Will they do it?

No.

They can make sure less worldly or some shit.

Why?

You think about experimenting with a chick?

No.

I don't know, maybe.

So what'd you do, right?

With this chick, bomb-shone chick.

You're fooling around, you know.

Look down.

You realize the guy had your way.

He's sucking your dick.

How far along am I?

So you're like 93% straight.

It's like 96% straight.

All right.

No, why not?

Yeah, I got to cover the mornings when you need to do your laundry, right?

I'm not a target on your back.

You had a bad show.

It's all me to stay home this morning.

This makes things a little easier for us this time, Harry.

We'll steal the stroller someone wrong, instead of finding someone who wants the stroller we have.

And now, we wait and see what happens, Harry.

Oh, shit, Harry.

We got an email already.

It's for the bugaboo stroller.

Hello, Melanie.

Hi, you contacted me about the baby bugaboo?

Yes, it's still here.

I mean, available.

Just one second.

Hi, sorry.

Where are you coming from?

Great.

I'm not too far from you.

Why don't we meet at the Trader Joe's on Ontario?

Great.

We'll see you there in 30 minutes.

Excuse me.

I saw the help on to sign the window.

Can I leave my resume with you?

Thanks.

(mumbling)

Hey, Holly go, he just cleaned that floor, man.

Then what do you laugh for that?

Again with my clean floor.

There we go.

Oh, no you didn't.

No you didn't.

I'll screw this.

Third fight!

Animal cracker, third end!

(crying)

(screaming)

Work looks good gentlemen.

What else? Yes.

Feels gonna be mad.

Tough titties.

Gallagher and Son would like to thank you for your efficiency.

What a moment.

This is what we know about all the chemicals.

They got none over us after the work is done.

Here we go.

And as promised, $50 each.

You said $100.

How about we make it $75, and I won't have you deported?

How about we make it $100, and we won't murder you

in the little brown boy in your sleep?

You've jogged my memory.

It was $100 each.

I was in a coma.

I was in the hospital. I was in a coma.

I get no.

I got no.

I got no.

Lucky you caught me.

It was about to go home.

I don't feel so lucky right now.

Can barely find any skin.

You haven't torn to sew back together.

Jesus.

Did the best I could.

Put on your pants.

Carefully.

You're in trouble.

You may have no choice but to turn that thing into a vagina.

Harry Ball, son.

Harry Ball.

You got restaurant experience?

I've been waiting till since I was 13.

Any felony convictions?

Nope.

Are you working right now?

Place I was at a polonnes closed down.

It's being turned into a urban outfitter's.

The owner here wanted to close this place down too,

but she's going to be a shot to turn it around.

Sounds cool.

That is just the kind of enthusiasm that I'm looking for.

When can you start?

As soon as you want me to.

That's great.

It's minimum wage plus shared tips.

See you tomorrow at noon for training.

Thank you so much, Miss Calvert.

Hey, Olga.

You're fired.

You can't fire me.

I'm the only woman of color.

And I will sue your ass.

Excuse me, where's the manager?

Hi, I saw your whole one, it's fine.

You're hired.

Come back tomorrow at noon for training.

Thank you.

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>> Not yet for it.

>> I think it's a little scaffy.

>> Wow.

>> You are making me so wet.

>> That's like rainforest, she's like got a southern side.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Look at me, Pussy.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh, God.

>> I don't think I'm right now.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Come here.

>> Come here.

>> Come here.

>> Oh, I want to go with you and sign me.

>> Whenever you're ready.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Good morning.

God bless CPAC.

We are at the edge of a crib.

Liberty is under assault.

>> Why are you watching this crap?

>> It's not good a boner.

>> Is it working?

>> So far.

>> Those are penis doing okay.

>> I'm going to go to the shower.

>> No, you're not.

>> Huh?

>> I'm going to take a look for yourself.

>> I assume so.

>> The other side too?

>> Yep.

>> Hey, you got a beer and a water?

>> Thank you.

>> Starting to remind me of him.

>> Look.

>> Hey, hey, hey.

>> Don't be talking to strangers, son.

>> Frank, Liam can't be in here.

>> Thank you, my country is four and a half.

>> That half really makes a difference.

>> Fine, you can stay.

But no boobs.

We charge the same for sodas.

>> Extra.

>> I'm so in that.

>> Don't be corrupting my son with your interracial bisexual funny business.

>> What do you want, Frank?

>> Two coats.

>> Never thought I'd hear that.

Come on here, mom.

>> Well, being a good role model for my progeny is an important job, Kermit.

Unlike the bad influences he's had up to this point.

>> Hey, buddy.

>> Hey, are you doing okay?

>> I'm having a little bit of a freight.

>> Well, of course you are.

>> Well, if you need anything, you know how to call, yeah?

>> Mm-hmm.

>> All right.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> What do you say?

You and me get some female company for tonight.

>> Hey.

>> What do you say?

>> You and me get some female company for tonight.

>> Hey, what do you say?

>> I'm not sure.

>> I'm not sure.

>> I'm not sure.

>> But when you get some female company for tonight.

You can have your pick of the letter.

Now, the important criteria you look for is who's DTF, who's holding a weed or Coke,

and who makes your weed tangle.

>> Not looking for a halo.

>> What do you think?

>> That's me.

>> [LAUGH]

>> [LAUGH]

>> I'm sorry to you.

>> [LAUGH]

>> I'm going to date.

>> [LAUGH]

>> A lovely choice.

>> Hello.

>> Hello.

>> Here to join us, doll face.

>> Sure.

>> Dude, it's really not that bad.

How do you deal with it?

It's a taste in the folds and the slime.

>> Oh, my God.

She's dick and a throat full of spoons.

>> Just better.

>> [LAUGH]

>> [MUSIC]

>> If I suck some guys dick, I wouldn't be happy as you're mad because you're being right now.

>> You're a better man than I.

>> At least feel more worldly.

>> Not at all.

>> I think you're at steam come round for me.

>> Should I just get you the drain, Ellen?

>> You're finding like a gargle with it without dying?

I'd say, yeah, you're 100% gay.

>> Hey, PTSD.

>> [LAUGH]

>> [LAUGH]

>> What the hell happened here?

>> Did we get robbed?

>> Kev, wake up.

>> Hey.

>> Who?

>> Hey, sexy.

>> Hey, beautiful.

>> What is going on?

>> This place is a disaster.

>> You were supposed to clean today.

>> Oh, sorry, I know.

I got too busy, but we had a great day.

>> Oh, my, did you know Jemma can climb up on the couch all by herself?

>> You got an only job with Stuckley today.

>> Really?

>> I was supposed to keep the kids alive too.

>> We were at work all day, busting our butt.

>> Yeah, all we asked is to come home to a clean house.

>> I was working all day too.

>> Do you know what?

Having a food fight?

>> Did you even shower?

>> Make us dinner.

>> My God, I'm not a maid.

Why are you too riding my ass?

>> Because you said on that ass all day doing nothing.

>> Well, that's exactly what I did today.

Nothing.

>> I did a heaping shit pile of absolutely nothing.

>> I'm going to go to the house.

>> I'm going to go to the house.

>> I'm going to go to the house.

>> I'm going to go to the house.

>> No, no, no, no.

>> No, no, no.

>> Come on, not the front door.

We have a special entrance.

>> Whoa.

>> Got a fire.

>> There are no courses.

>> Shh.

>> Let's just open it.

>> Squad around.

>> I love you.

>> Lady's heard.

>> Okay, oh boy.

>> Come on.

>> So full, okay.

>> You sure this thing is safe?

>> Whoa, find out soon.

>> Okay.

>> Damn, grab my ankle.

[MUSIC]

>> Okay.

>> Oh yeah.

>> Right.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jesus.

>> [LAUGHTER]

>> [LAUGHTER]

>> [MUSIC]

>> Holy shit.

>> No idea our floor was so slanted.

>> I'll be nice to have a toothbrush and a change of clothes.

>> Yeah, I need a shower.

>> My ass is numb from this chair.

>> This couch is pretty comfy.

>> Still not mad of Frank, huh?

>> I refuse to let him have any of my energy.

[MUSIC]

>> Dips on the kitchen bathroom.

>> Oh, shit.

[MUSIC]

>> We gotta get upstairs.

>> We can throw a stink bomb up there if we can work with him.

>> Put bars up on the window.

>> You guys think we can set fire at the top floor of the house?

>> Hurry up in there.

>> I'm using the sink.

>> [SOUND]

>> Holy shit.

>> Dude, there's a mangled mess.

>> Oh, my God.

>> It's all bloody and raw, man.

>> You shouldn't have that stupid serial

decision, man.

>> All right, well, I did.

There's nothing I can do about it now.

So fuck you guys.

I already feel like enough of freak being the only

gagger he's not circumcised.

This would make me feel worse about it.

[MUSIC]

>> What the hell?

[MUSIC]

Hey kids, see those ladies over there?

They're gonna help us clean the house so we can spend more

time playing together.

[MUSIC]

>> Man, what the hell?

>> Man's off and they outside the spig gets open.

>> All right, you mean the action?

>> I should.

>> See how long he lasts up there without water.

[MUSIC]

>> This is so fun, Harry.

We've got some great legs now.

Double stroller.

>> We can get a lot from that.

[MUSIC]

>> Crazy, the woman starts saving up for college.

I don't know what's okay, you don't have to go to college

if you don't want to, Harry.

[MUSIC]

>> Shit.

[MUSIC]

>> Smell can knock a busured off a gut wagon.

>> Hey, doll face, we gotta hose you down.

You're right for the fat boy in the clown costume.

>> Hey.

>> I'm sorry.

>> Liam, coffee, I'm not playing.

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

>> Damn it.

[MUSIC]

>> Two raptors circling the nest.

[MUSIC]

>> That's the security.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> What's in the box?

>> No uniforms.

Those are so cute.

Hell no, I am not exposing my legs.

>> Come on, you'll make me tips.

>> Nobody sees my spider veins except my gyno and the neighbor with the binoculars.

They don't have to work here anymore.

>> Fine.

>> A bunch of us are going to Melody Lounge.

>> After work, you should come.

>> Is that a club?

>> It'll be fine.

>> I don't have to change a close.

>> Of course you do.

>> Yeah, right.

>> You look fine.

>> Hey, bring lift.

[MUSIC]

>> Now the feds show it up at my internship today.

It took a couple of servers.

>> All four.

>> No idea.

>> Those nerds are richer than balls.

>> It takes a K-love.

>> Tell them you need me to lock after work.

>> And compare vagina stories?

>> Exactly what we're going to do.

>> There's Carl.

>> Carl Gallagher, please approach the ambulance.

>> I mean, his feet off, Carl.

>> I'm coming.

>> I'm coming.

>> And wake up in your base.

[MUSIC]

>> You must be from the top who's made top.

>> Good click.

Can I come in?

>> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Let me show you around.

As you can see the place of the mess.

I'm going to need you to do the laundry.

Wash the dishes, clean the floors, vacuum and dust the furniture.

>> Sounds good.

Okay.

Wow.

Sorry.

This is happening.

>> It was spectacular.

It's amazing how you stuffed them in there and out there out.

I'll be glory.

Hallelujah.

>> What's happening to me?

>> Gave you a jumbo-dose of thorzy.

>> My brain feels like cotton candy.

>> That's the way you're going to feel for the next 72 hours.

No way you get a bone or a duck shit.

>> Don't not think about your e-baws anymore.

>> What?

>> You guys are the best.

[MUSIC]

Wendy, don't get me wrong.

I like what's going on here.

Are you going to be doing any cleaning today?

>> Cleaning?

You didn't bring any lysaw.

>> Or a mony or a mop or anything.

>> You thought a topless maid service actually did cleaning?

>> Yes.

>> That's cute.

Here, my services are alicar.

Pick what you like.

>> Mop and glow.

>> That's one of my specialties.

>> I'm sure it is.

Pipe cleaning.

>> Oh, dudes like that one?

Brazilian floor wax.

>> That's not what you think it is.

>> I have no idea what I think that is.

>> Sham Wow.

>> Hey.

>> I decided to come home.

>> Did you trick me into having sex with a woman?

>> What?

>> So that you wouldn't feel bad about what you did.

>> But what are you talking about?

>> You made me feel like a freak as I'm only gay.

>> How you feel is on you?

>> I slept with some random chick as a you.

>> I can force you to do anything.

>> I don't know anything.

>> Still taste her hair spray or pubes or badges sighted.

>> You obviously picked the wrong woman.

>> Don't turn this around on me.

You're the weirdo.

All right, not me.

>> Because I like to have sex with women once in a while.

>> It's not normal.

>> It's very normal.

>> I feel gay.

It's not disgusting.

>> They don't do it anymore.

>> And it's a turn off.

>> Me.

>> I'm the turn off.

>> You sleep with women.

>> Yeah.

>> And why are we even going out?

>> I keep asking myself the same thing.

>> The gentle muck?

>> The giant of fucker muck.

>> Did you become such a baby?

>> When did you become such a bisexual?

>> So that's it then.

>> Yeah, I guess so.

Have a nice life.

>> Already am.

>> Kevin, what are you doing?

>> I got a great idea for a business.

>> Where are babies?

>> Sleeping.

>> Monitor.

>> Is the house clean?

>> That is a great question which is directly related to my new business plan.

>> So no.

>> You are correct.

>> The topless made that I hired was more of an asset.

>> You hired the topless made?

>> Did you have sex with her?

>> Of course not.

>> What else did you think a topless made surface did, Kev?

>> I was focused on the made part and not the topless part, which gave me this idea.

>> No sense.

>> Andy?

>> Yes.

>> We are going to start a made surface that is not only topless, but also clean.

We are corn to the mark.

>> You expect me to clean someone else's house?

>> Don't have to.

>> That's a genius part.

You two are the boobs of the operation.

She's going to do the cleaning.

>> I think these girls just invited me so I bring you.

>> Hey!

>> What are you doing?

>> I'm so so so so so.

>> Hey, hi.

>> Hi.

>> What are you doing?

>> Beer.

>> You want something?

>> I change the clothes.

>> You guys look great.

>> Have a shot.

>> You feel sexier.

>> She's telling us, I'm three shots of the younger on my tab.

>> That's how you're taking me out doing my interview.

>> Is that obvious?

>> I like this.

>> Cheers, bals.

Thanks.

>> Cheers, bals.

Thanks.

>> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> Yeah.

>> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> I have a kid and a stupid explaint friend so I'm not looking for any of these serious.

>> Hey, well, I just got expelled from college.

You did 30 days of rehab.

>> No.

>> There weren't perfect much.

>> Hey.

>> Is that Ariel's boyfriend?

>> No.

>> She's about to mone tender.

Going to the bathroom.

>> You're on tender?

>> Uh-oh.

>> Not into the meaningless random hookup.

>> Ah.

>> Now I'm more of a one dysfunctional relationship into another kind of girl.

>> I'm taking a break.

>> This is why you need tender.

>> Give me your phone.

>> You're a hot piece of ass.

You should be boning on the legs.

>> I don't know.

They always seem to get attached.

Or maybe that's me.

You bragging about you going to vagina?

No, more like my golden ability to pick liars.

>> Then don't talk to them.

Just swipe, fuck, leave.

>> Ooh.

>> You already have three matches and Luke's at the bar across the street.

>> Ready to rumble.

>> Uh-huh.

>> Oh.

>> Fuck.

>> That.

>> No.

>> Don't.

>> Fuck.

>> Don't.

>> Don't.

>> Don't.

>> Don't.

>> That.

>> No.

>> Who?

>> Oh.

>> Shit.

>> Fuck.

>> Don't say Papa never gave you a pet.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Where are you?

>> Awe.

>> Awe.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> What the hell are you doing?

>> Can you feel your mind play?

>> It's 2am.

My kids.

My husband and wife are sleeping.

>> Awe.

>> You know the five sounds weird, right?

>> You're drunk.

>> And fucked.

>> I just tend to fucked.

This guy.

His name is like a J or an L or some other letter.

I don't care.

Careless mindless sex.

Set me free.

>> Tell me more about it tomorrow.

>> This guy was doing this.

>> What the fuck?

>> Did you just close the door on my face?

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

I brought you some coffee.

I figured you might be hung over.

>> I am.

What time is it?

>> Not as early as your ring in my door belt last night.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> Don't harm me.

>> Don't harm me.

>> It will be.

>> Pickaxe.

>> It will be.

>> Pickaxe.

>> It will be a sludge hammer.

>> I'll see you upstairs.

>> I'll be up in the middle.

>> We're getting ready to break.

>> Ow.

>> How was this random guy you hooked up with last night?

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

>> I'm going to go to the door.

♪ Can I meet a couple few? ♪

♪ I know if I should drink it ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[MUSIC PLAYING]