Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna have a good time! ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another woo-hoo! ♪

♪ Yea-ah! ♪

♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪

♪ I'm talking puppies ♪

♪ Puh-puh-puh-puh puh-puh-puh-puuuhh! ♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension! ♪

( snoring )

"Don't touch! I will find out!"

Sure you will, Marco.

Sure you will, heh heh heh.

( clank )

( growls )

( straining )

Unh!

( click )

Uh...

Really?

( groans )

All right.

One...

and two.

Thanks for nothin'.

Chancellor Lekmet!

( bleats )

My liege.

I come bearing an offering of great momentousness,

should it please thee.

( bleats )

Uh, well, it's kinda heavy.

I was hoping that thee could come down here to see it.

( sighs )

( chair whirring )

( shorting )

Oh, dang! Is that on the fritz, too?

Hang on, I've got you.

So, um, speaking of the interdimensional fritz?

Baaaa?

I've been doing some digging on my own,

and, uh, I think I've found what's causing it.

( bleats ) Stay right there.

I present to you...

the source of the fritz.

Baaaa!

Evidence? I've got your evidence right here.

My gut told me she's evil, so I took her out.

Boom! No more fritz.

( weary bleating )

Yeah, I know, she's Queen Butterfly's daughter, but--

( bleats )

Okay, that kinda hurt.

I know it came from a good place, you know, but...

Okay, Chancellor, for the record,

we had nothing to do with this.

( grunts, pants )

Yeah, we told him it was a horrible plan,

but Rockhead here didn't wanna hear it.

He never listens to us!

But he would listen to you, Lekmet!

Tell him, Chancellor! Tell him!

( bleating )

Okay, everybody, just calm down!

Why don't you sit?

I'll grab you a glass of warm milk,

and then we can talk this out like rational people.

( bleating )

Shoot! I forgot I put him there.

Okay, so I actually don't know who this is.

A servant maybe? A very tall dwarf?

But he's definitely evil.

Gut's honor.

( bleats )

( snorts )

You'll what? Please don't call the Magical High Commission.

( bleats )

You... You think we should make other living arrangements?

( bleats ) Uh-huh.

But... who's gonna take care of you?

( grumbling bleat )

Lekmet, no. Stop!

Please!

( sighs )

You'll ruin everything!

Stop! Stop! ( beeping )

Guuuuhh!

Dude! You just crystallized the High Chancellor!

Do you have any idea how much trouble we are in?!

Stop yelling at me!

Look, I just really need a win right now.

I mean, you guys are my hands!

You're supposed to be on my side!

Can't you just... ( sighs )

Hey...

I bet a few reps would clear your head.

Huh. You know, that's not a bad idea.

Bench presses, couple of biceps curls. Hmm?

What are you lookin' at? Huh?

What? No! Uh! Hey!

( beeping )

Hyah!

Ohh!

( grunting )

Eee!

Yah!

( panting )

Oh, man...

Oh, geez!

( whimpering )

( gasps )

You! I know you're the source!

I can feel it!

Huh?

Why did you cause the fritz?!

Aaaaah!

No! No no no no!

( screaming stops )

I really just can't take any more yelling today.

Aah! Princess! My name is Rhombulus.

I work with your mom, and I need you to answer one question.

Rhombulus?

Ohh, ohh!

You're the time-out guy.

What? Who calls me that?

I bet it's Glossaryck, isn't it?

Omnitraxus calls you that, too.

And my mom and dad.

Really all of the members of the Magic High Commission call you that.

Time-out guy.

Ohh, never mind!

Why are you causing the fritz?

What's the fritz?

The leak. The reason why nothing's working up here?

( mumbles ) I don't know.

Oh! Something has been draining the power of magic

from the universe.

See? Crystal orbs are down.

And then there's the Green Hole over there.

( droning )

Yeah, that part definitely looks broken.

And look at the crystal I trapped Lekmet in.

This stuff used to be hard as diamonds.

Now it's like... rock candy or something.

I'm sorry your powers are all crazy, but it's not me.

You have to be the source!

You see all these guys?

My gut told me they were evil, so I crystalized them.

There's Zedlord, who blew up an entire planet.

Astrobell and the black hole she created.

Stopped that one just in time.

Oh, and then there's pizza delivery guy.

Delivered the pizza to the wrong address.

Then, of course, I am most proud of

the evil twins... John and Jack.

They're pretty hard to tell apart,

but one of them was definitely evil.

This is what I do.

I find the source of evil,

and I encase it in crystal forever.

So... your snake hands, they're evil, too?

What? No. They're my hands.

What about my friend, Marco?

What did he do, exactly?

Oh, him? Well...

And what about that old goat man?

Is he evil?

( scoffs ) There's nothing evil about Lekmet.

He's the most pure-hearted,

hard-working angel goat demon there ever was.

Well, why did you crystallize him then?

Hmm?

Look, time-out guy,

I think you need to think stuff through a little more

before you rely on your gut.

It's making you crystallize innocent people.

Maybe you're right.

I thought I could trust you, gut!

( grunting )

( shouting angrily )

( crystals shattering )

I'm free!

( panting )

( grumbling )

I've been wrong about everything lately.

The commission thinks I'm a joke.

I thought if I could find the source of the fritz,

my hands and I could earn the appreciation

of the Magical High Commission again.

Huh?

Aw, man.

I actually crystallized Lekmet.

And I love Lekmet!

( sobbing )

Ooh, pretty!

I'm gonna be in time-out for the next ten thousand years.

Glossaryck is gonna have a field day with that.

Let me tell you.

Ah, I wouldn't worry 'bout him.

He's not coming back.

What? Glossaryck's gone?

Oh! ( chuckles )

Uh, yeah...

Glossaryck's gone? This is amazing!

I mean, it's actually really bad.

( chuckling ) But it's good for me.

But, yeah, wow. That's bad news for the universe.

Why?

The thing about Glossaryck is he may be a jerk,

but he's the most powerful all-knowing magic jerk in the universe.

That's why I can never win an argument with him.

He's just so hard to deal with, right?

Even when I tried to rescue him,

he didn't want to come back.

You know that fancy crystal in his head?

I gave it to him!

But did he ever thank me? No.

Every time we got donuts, he just sat on them.

( sighs ) What a waste of donuts.

You know, I made some donuts for a meeting yesterday,

and I think there's some left over.

Uh... you want any?

Ooh.

You know, you shouldn't feel so down on yourself, Rhombulus.

Your crystals are really pretty.

( clinks )

Ah!

Close your eyes for a minute.

Okay.

Now open! Oh.

Here.

Ooh!

Is that evil twin Jack?

It could be.

Either way, I want you to have it.

Thank you, Rhombulus.

So, I guess you've got to turn me in, right?

I mean, crystallizing the princess is kind of a big deal.

Uh, not necessarily.

Okay, look, if you don't tell the Magic High Commission

about Glossaryck or the Magic Book of Spells

and how I lost both of them,

then I won't tell them about this.

( clink clink ) Really?

Yeah. Deal.

What about the old goat man?

Well, don't worry about him.

I'm the only one who can understand what he says.

Also I need my socks back.

( straining )

( grunts )

Ooh, phew.

Hey. Thank you, Princess.

W-w-w-wait!

You still gotta unfreeze him.

Oh, yeah.

Ow!

Good morning, Marco!

Star? What happened?

You were in this ice cube.

And there was this big guy, and he had a big square head!

( laughs ) What a funny dream, Marco.

Mmm!

Blech!

Were these on the floor?

( rats squeaking )

Hyah! Mush! Mush!

Hyah!

LUDO: Hello! Yes!

I have arrived.

Did you keep him up all night?

You haven't fed him, have you?

Good! Then he must be about to crack.

Time to turn up the heat.

( low humming )

What's that?

Hold on a minute. I have to take this.

What? Yes. Oh, of course.

That'll be our last resort, heh heh.

( door creaks )

Well, well, well!

How do you like my monster temple?

Pretty cool, huh?

My wand told me where to find it.

( loud bang ) Aah!

Hellooo...

( mumbles ) What are you doing?

I was just out for my morning stroll.

But then who is in your bed?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Um...

Easy. ( chuckles )

Easy. Don't shoot.

It's, uh... It's just my robe.

Girls! Bring me the book!

I want you to teach me this,

to make me awesome... at this!

You will not resist!

Resistance is pointless!

Uh, you mind hopping off?

Thank you.

Okay. Let's get started.

But... you're not going to resist,

even a little resistance?

Look, it's your book now.

I'm just here to help you... or not.

Up to you.

Really? You want to teach me?

Oh, yes. Sure.

What's your game? You must want something.

Oh, I don't have wants.

I have a job.

And that job is to help you

reach your ultimate potential with this.

Well, then...

Pudding!

Someone just earned themselves some pudding.

You, little man, you are going to make me

the most powerful being in the universe! Ha ha ha!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now, slow, slow, slow your roll.

Look, all I can promise is to help you reach your full potential.

Oh, goody! Is it going to be hard?

Mm, could be.

Exhausting?

Mmm, quite possibly.

Almost unendurable?

Uh... Well, do you want it to be?

Oh, yes! I so want it to be.

( straining )

Stroke! Stroke!

( grunting )

( grunting, panting )

This... is so hard!

When are we going to start doing spells?

Whenever you want.

What?! Are you kidding me?!

What was all of this?!

Oh, this? Well, I was only doing that

because you said you wanted it to be really hard.

I don't know what I want!

I've never done this before!

You know what my dad taught me about making my way in the world?

Nothing!

Zip! I was one egg out of fifty!

Everything I've learned, I had to learn dirty!

But for once in my life, I'd like some guidance.

Okay. We can do that.

Really?

So when am I going to learn a Narwhal Blast?

Pshew pshew pshew!

Oh, oh. Oh, that.

Yes, well, mm-hmm...

You see, Star made that up.

It's not in the book.

She just used her imagination for most things.

Ooh! What's an imagination?

( sighs ) Okay.

Well, let's start

with the basics. ( snaps )

( mumbling ) Let's see... okay.

Oh, that's probably a little too advanced.

Okay, okay... ( mumbling )

Oh! Here we go.

Uh, why don't you take a look here?

Now note the stance and posture.

Basically, you're going to want to put your arm out and your feet...

Ahem... less out.

You got that? Okay.

Rrrrrrr!

Hmm...

( straining )

Hmm...

( straining )

Would you just relax?

Oh.

We're going to start with some simple object transfer.

Let's have you try Levitato.

Levitato.

Now, when you're ready, I want you to bring me that apple.

What apple? That one.

Levitato.

Levitato! Aah!

O-kay.

Oh! You see that?!

How am I supposed to work with this?!

I listen to my wand, but it never listens to me.

Look, kid, it's your first try.

Don't worry about it. ( snaps )

We'll just try again. Relax.

( inhales )

Levitato!

Levit-- Okay, okay.

No, no. No, no, stop.

Look, you're really being sloppy.

You need to really feel it.

Say it with conviction.

Levitato!

Lev-i-tato.

It worked.

( gasps )

Levitato.

Hey! Now you're getting it.

Nice job.

Am I better than Star?

Well, I...

Well, I guess you're better at following the spell book.

Are you... proud of me?

Yeah, um... Yeah, you're doing fine.

Could you say "proud of me," though?

Uh, huh.

Uh... ( chuckles ) I'm proud of you.

( giggling )

Hmm. ( wand zapping )

Levitato. Levitato.

Levitato.

( whirring )

Levitato.

Yep.

GLOSSARYCK: Um, you see, it's a complex theory

behind the levitations... Levitato.

you'll be performing... Levitato!

as a magic user.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end. Levitato.

You'd better get some sleep.

You have a lot of work to do tomorrow.

Levitato.

Might even learn a second spell or something.

This was a really great day, Glossaryck.

I'm sure it was.

Will you tuck me in?

Um, well, I... Uh, okay.

And my wand.

Uh...

( excited chuckle )

Ahem... there you go.

And pat my head?

Pat pat pat, see you in the morning.

And say, "Good night, my darling."

Are you kidding me?

Um, good night.

My darling.

Um, uh... ( stammering ) my darling.

( snoring )

( whispering ) Are you still awake?

I can't sleep, either!

I'm too excited to sleep!

Today was wonderful!

( wand humming )

Why would you say that?

Glossaryck is proud of me.

He said I was better than Star!

( humming )

What do you mean, he showed her something hidden?

Don't be silly!

We just started. I'm sure we'll get to it soon.

( humming )

He kept it from me on purpose?

( humming )

No. No, no, no, no.

He'd never lie to me!

Levitato!

Glossaryck? Wake up!

Didn't we just do bedtime?

Glossaryck. I know this is crazy,

but my wand told me...

( chuckling ) It's just my wand told me

there's a chapter in this book that you've shown Star

that you haven't shown me.

But that's crazy, right?

No, it's true.

What?! Why didn't you show me?!

You know, you didn't ask.

Well, I want to see it!

( sighs ) You want to see it.

You want to see-- Well, you know, I don't know.

It's really advanced.

Um, you know, dark stuff.

Did you show it to Star?

Um, technically, I didn't show her,

but, uh, she has seen it.

Show me!

Okay, it's your book.

Secret chapter.

Unlock it!

Are you truly sure? It could taint you.

Oh, I got plenty of taint already.

Now unlock it!

( sighs ) As you wish.

Hmm!

I thought there'd be more pict--

Aah!

Ohhh!

( Toffee's voice ) Hello, Glossaryck.

Hello, Toffee.

Time to give it up, old man.

You'll never get him on your side.

But I don't have a side.

You don't, do you?

( chuckles )

Excellent.

♪ I think Earth is a pretty great place ♪

♪ That's saying something ♪

♪ 'Cause I've been through outer space ♪

♪ I think it suits me its just my style ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna stay a little while ♪

♪ I think that strangers are just friends you haven't met ♪

♪ I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat ♪

♪ I'm really thinking I can call this place home! ♪