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1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:02,833
♪♪
2
00:00:06,797 --> 00:00:08,389
♪ It's gonna get
a little weird ♪
3
00:00:08,389 --> 00:00:09,890
♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪
4
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:11,722
♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪
5
00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:13,554
♪ I'm from another dimension ♪
6
00:00:13,554 --> 00:00:14,935
♪ Gonna get a little weird ♪
7
00:00:14,935 --> 00:00:16,767
♪ Gonna have a good time ♪
8
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,139
♪ I ain't from
'round here ♪
9
00:00:18,139 --> 00:00:20,271
♪ I'm from another, woo-hoo ♪
10
00:00:22,693 --> 00:00:24,315
♪ Yeh-heah ♪
11
00:00:25,946 --> 00:00:27,528
♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪
12
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,360
♪ I'm talking puppies ♪
13
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,492
♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa,
pa, pa, pa, pa ♪
14
00:00:31,492 --> 00:00:32,913
♪ Ooh ♪
15
00:00:32,913 --> 00:00:34,785
♪ It's gonna get
a little weird ♪
16
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,657
♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪
17
00:00:36,657 --> 00:00:38,249
♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪
18
00:00:38,249 --> 00:00:41,712
♪ I'm from another dimension ♪
19
00:00:46,757 --> 00:00:49,300
- ( bell ringing )
- ( playing "Twinkle
Twinkle Little Star" )
20
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,473
Mr. Candle said
I'm gonna be a musician.
21
00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:55,306
Sweet. I got
champion swimmer.
22
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:58,479
I was gonna get dressed,
but now I don't need to.
23
00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:01,942
Wow. Everyone's getting
really awesome careers.
24
00:01:01,942 --> 00:01:05,236
I can't wait to find out
what my future holds.
25
00:01:05,236 --> 00:01:07,318
( nervous laughter )
26
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:10,741
MAN: Star Butterfly.
27
00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:13,904
- Please sit.
- Okay.
28
00:01:15,536 --> 00:01:16,997
Help yourself
to some candy.
29
00:01:16,997 --> 00:01:19,250
No, thank you.
30
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:24,585
I'm just really excited
to have my fortune told.
31
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,337
How do you do it?
Read palms?
32
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:29,470
Converse with the dead?
Examine head lumps?
33
00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:33,093
Nope. Just normal
guidance counselor stuff.
34
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,636
Have you given much thought
to your future?
35
00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:37,428
Totally.
36
00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:40,351
When I grow up,
I wanna raise warnicorns.
37
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:41,932
( whinnying )
38
00:01:41,932 --> 00:01:44,185
Well, that seems like
a fun hobby.
39
00:01:44,185 --> 00:01:46,527
But you might not
have much time for hobbies
40
00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:47,938
as the queen of Mewni.
41
00:01:47,938 --> 00:01:49,820
Queen?
42
00:01:51,942 --> 00:01:53,944
I may not know
your fortune,
43
00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:57,538
but your future
is set in stone.
44
00:01:57,538 --> 00:01:59,660
Stone?
45
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,622
Are you dating anyone?
46
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,454
What? Uh, no.
47
00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:05,005
What about that Marco boy?
48
00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:06,957
Got a secret crush on him?
49
00:02:06,957 --> 00:02:08,629
He's my roommate.
We're just friends.
50
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,711
Yeah, that's weird
to date your roommate.
51
00:02:10,711 --> 00:02:13,013
Maybe someone else then.
It's never too early to start
52
00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:15,055
searching for the future
king of Mewni.
53
00:02:15,055 --> 00:02:16,307
Maybe.
54
00:02:16,307 --> 00:02:18,429
Cheer up, Star.
55
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:20,891
Or should I say
Your Majesty.
56
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,813
Hmm.
57
00:02:25,726 --> 00:02:27,107
So how'd it go?
58
00:02:27,107 --> 00:02:30,441
Or we can catch up later.
59
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:32,613
Mr. Diaz.
60
00:02:32,613 --> 00:02:34,735
I've been very anxious
to speak to you.
61
00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:36,947
Seen my test scores,
have you?
62
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,619
Indeed.
63
00:02:38,619 --> 00:02:40,661
Garbage Island?!
64
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,783
What's the use of taking
honors classes
65
00:02:42,783 --> 00:02:45,085
if it gets you sent
to the middle of nowhere?
66
00:02:45,085 --> 00:02:48,048
So don't go.
At least you have a choice.
67
00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:50,291
Apparently, the only
thing in my future
68
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,503
is being queen.
69
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:55,095
Oh, man, I'd love
to be queen.
70
00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:57,848
You never have to
think about what to wear.
71
00:02:57,848 --> 00:02:59,510
You have somebody
do that for you.
72
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:00,971
( groans )
73
00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:03,013
People would just love you
because they have to,
74
00:03:03,013 --> 00:03:04,895
no matter how weird
you are.
75
00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:05,936
( groans )
76
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,768
You never have
to bathe alone.
77
00:03:07,768 --> 00:03:09,570
Marco, please stop
talking.
78
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,116
Head janitor,
Garbage Island.
79
00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:17,868
( sighs )
80
00:03:20,281 --> 00:03:21,452
( plopping sound )
81
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,163
I'll come back later.
82
00:03:32,132 --> 00:03:34,335
All right, sir,
phase one is complete.
83
00:03:34,335 --> 00:03:35,676
What's next?
84
00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,177
Sir, are you there?
85
00:03:37,177 --> 00:03:39,930
You idiot!
86
00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:42,182
You forgot
the most important part. Me!
87
00:03:42,182 --> 00:03:44,184
I got confirmation.
88
00:03:44,184 --> 00:03:46,977
- Starco is
completely platonic.
- MARCO: Starco?
89
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,520
Make sure there's
no possibility of them
90
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,111
ever being a thing.
91
00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:52,983
Absolutely, sir.
92
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,276
Also, stop offering
everyone candy.
93
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,358
You're gonna blow
my cover.
94
00:03:57,358 --> 00:03:59,069
I want her back.
95
00:03:59,069 --> 00:04:01,121
- I gotta go.
- I'm not done.
96
00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,704
No. You don't understand.
97
00:04:03,704 --> 00:04:07,037
- I gotta go.
- Flush me first!
98
00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:09,630
( whistling )
99
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:11,792
Hey, Mr. Candle.
100
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:14,174
Oh, hello, Marco.
101
00:04:14,174 --> 00:04:16,086
I appreciate
all your guidance
102
00:04:16,086 --> 00:04:17,758
with Garbage Island
and all,
103
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,760
but I'm gonna pass.
104
00:04:22,182 --> 00:04:24,935
Actually, I was just thinking
I might be...
105
00:04:24,935 --> 00:04:26,647
king of Mewni.
106
00:04:26,647 --> 00:04:28,188
( sputtering )
What?!
107
00:04:28,188 --> 00:04:29,850
The thing is,
Star and I
108
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:32,152
have recently become
smooch buddies.
109
00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:34,735
On the lips.
110
00:04:34,735 --> 00:04:37,067
Even if that's true, kid,
you shouldn't say that out loud.
111
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,989
Yeah, we've been trying
all styles.
112
00:04:38,989 --> 00:04:41,612
German, Italian...
113
00:04:41,612 --> 00:04:43,243
Polynesian.
114
00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:46,036
My tonsils are so tired,
I can't feel my teeth.
115
00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:50,170
( ferocious growl )
116
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:54,044
Busted. I knew you weren't
a guidance counselor.
117
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:01,221
Oh. These women
look so miserable.
118
00:05:01,221 --> 00:05:04,304
( sighs heavily )
119
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,688
MIRROR: Calling Mom.
120
00:05:07,688 --> 00:05:09,229
What did you do?
121
00:05:09,229 --> 00:05:11,191
What... nothing!
122
00:05:11,191 --> 00:05:13,023
Yet.
123
00:05:13,023 --> 00:05:15,025
I'd like to
ask you something.
124
00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:17,147
Are you happy?
125
00:05:17,147 --> 00:05:20,320
Happy? What difference
does that make?
126
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,903
I mean, I don't know.
127
00:05:22,903 --> 00:05:24,825
Do you have
any warnicorns?
128
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:28,999
Goffrey, do I have
any warnicorns?
129
00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:31,622
You have 19,
Your Majesty.
130
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,834
- Oh. Apparently,
I have 19.
- Oh, sweet.
131
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,507
But when you are queen, you
don't have time for warnicorns.
132
00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:39,219
Everything I'm saying
is in your guide book.
133
00:05:39,219 --> 00:05:41,221
Incidentally, you may want
to review the chapter
134
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:43,173
on hair care.
135
00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:46,226
If you're going to be queen,
you have to look the part.
136
00:05:46,226 --> 00:05:48,228
Don't worry so much
about happiness.
137
00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:51,141
It makes you look pale.
Love you. Bye.
138
00:06:05,486 --> 00:06:08,248
( buzzing )
139
00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:11,201
Stop! I knew
you were listening.
140
00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:12,793
I never made out with Star.
141
00:06:12,793 --> 00:06:16,166
I just said that
to get your goat.
142
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:17,798
What?
143
00:06:17,798 --> 00:06:19,339
You lied to me.
144
00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:21,762
Well, you lied to Star.
145
00:06:21,762 --> 00:06:25,005
You made her think
all she's good for
is being queen.
146
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,350
Dude, just take me home.
147
00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:34,104
I can't do that.
148
00:06:34,104 --> 00:06:35,976
You know too much.
149
00:06:35,976 --> 00:06:37,938
Now I gotta destroy you.
150
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:40,110
What?!
That's not fair.
151
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,522
All right, fine.
152
00:06:41,522 --> 00:06:43,444
Battle to the death.
I win, you die.
153
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,325
What do I get
if I win?
154
00:06:45,325 --> 00:06:47,788
It's not gonna happen.
155
00:06:47,788 --> 00:06:50,290
So, yeah, ask for
whatever you want.
156
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:53,123
If I win, you gotta
take me home.
157
00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:55,536
And you gotta tell Star
the truth.
158
00:06:55,536 --> 00:06:58,499
Fine.
Pick your weapon.
159
00:06:58,499 --> 00:07:00,881
Dueling battle axes?
160
00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:02,673
Rhino fiend joust?
161
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,095
Pear grenades
of anguish?
162
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,046
( shrieking )
163
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:10,811
What about ping-pong?
164
00:07:10,811 --> 00:07:12,222
That's cool.
165
00:07:12,222 --> 00:07:15,145
Your weapon of choice,
my liege.
166
00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:16,977
I oughta warn you,
167
00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:18,519
I'm not only a karate master.
168
00:07:18,519 --> 00:07:21,021
I'm also good at
ball sports.
169
00:07:23,323 --> 00:07:24,735
Ow!
170
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:28,198
Point, Master Tom.
171
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,742
Okay, so I'm
a little rusty.
172
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,744
Wait till you...
hi-yah!
173
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:37,287
Owww!
174
00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:57,187
Game point.
175
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,982
In your face!
176
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,104
Ow! Ugh!
177
00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:06,106
Since when do ping-pong balls
hurt so much?
178
00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:08,278
These balls are
guided by demons.
179
00:08:08,278 --> 00:08:12,162
Okay. Let's play
for real this time.
180
00:08:12,162 --> 00:08:13,534
Double or nothing.
181
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,916
Dude, you're
out of paddles.
182
00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:17,578
Just give up.
183
00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:20,711
No, it's fine.
Here, you can have mine.
184
00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:22,923
I don't need it.
185
00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:28,298
Hey! Isn't this
kind of cheating?
186
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:29,890
You think this
is cheating?
187
00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:31,842
You should try playing
Star at ping-pong.
188
00:08:31,842 --> 00:08:33,513
Well, Star doesn't
really cheat.
189
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,305
She just makes up
her own rules.
190
00:08:35,305 --> 00:08:39,019
And then she changes the rules
again halfway through the game.
191
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,812
Oh, so that's why
I never win.
192
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,444
She just does
whatever she wants.
193
00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:45,906
Yeah, that's Star.
194
00:08:45,906 --> 00:08:48,358
Yeah.
195
00:08:48,358 --> 00:08:50,410
She is kinda awesome.
196
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,822
You know you're
never gonna win, right?
197
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:55,415
I know, but
you're not either.
198
00:08:55,415 --> 00:08:57,868
It doesn't matter if
you beat me at ping-pong
199
00:08:57,868 --> 00:09:00,040
or pull out all my organs.
200
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,421
You can't make Star
be your girlfriend
201
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:03,503
unless she wants to.
202
00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:13,764
Star, I have something
to tell...
203
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:16,597
Whoa.
204
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,268
Oh, hey, Marco.
205
00:09:18,268 --> 00:09:20,310
Did you know that if you
cut off a mermaid's tail,
206
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,813
you can never be queen?
It's all in the guide book.
207
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:25,275
Star, you don't
have to do that.
208
00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:26,897
Oh, thank goodness.
209
00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:28,899
I'm so sorry, Tiffany.
210
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:30,490
I never wanted to hurt you.
211
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:32,693
Shameful.
212
00:09:32,693 --> 00:09:34,695
Tom! What's going on?
213
00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:36,697
I have something
I need to confess.
214
00:09:36,697 --> 00:09:39,960
I used Mr. Candle
to try to get
back together with you.
215
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,873
It took me destroying
Marco 58 games to zero
216
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,085
to realize I was wrong.
217
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,547
Like, I slaughtered him.
218
00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:50,380
I mean, beating him
was so easy.
219
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:52,552
Okay, she gets it.
220
00:09:52,552 --> 00:09:55,135
All I wanted
was to get you back.
221
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:57,517
But I never stopped
to consider what you wanted.
222
00:09:57,517 --> 00:09:59,429
I'm sorry.
223
00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:04,314
Ow!
224
00:10:04,314 --> 00:10:06,356
You tricked me.
225
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,317
But it doesn't even
make a difference.
226
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:10,150
I'm still gonna
be queen.
227
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,783
Yeah, but that doesn't
sound like a bad thing,
228
00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:14,905
because you're gonna
run Mewni your way.
229
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,577
No matter how destructive.
230
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:20,370
That's true.
231
00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:29,589
Point, Marco.
232
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,884
Well, I should go.
233
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,966
By the way,
I like your hair.
234
00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:44,935
STAR: So you guys
were hangin' out?
235
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:47,938
Uh, yeah.
236
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,320
Is he still
dark and broody?
237
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,772
Oh, yeah.
238
00:10:51,772 --> 00:10:53,944
But he's not so bad.
239
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:57,698
No, Brittany,
I don't believe
240
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,910
your life has peaked
at such a young age.
241
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,282
Dude, abort the mission.
242
00:11:02,282 --> 00:11:03,543
I'm done.
243
00:11:03,543 --> 00:11:05,455
( whistles )
244
00:11:17,557 --> 00:11:19,970
( growling noises )
245
00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:26,436
Star?
246
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,613
I don't know
my combination!
247
00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:47,788
( gasps )
I'm... I'm...
248
00:11:47,788 --> 00:11:50,540
I'm wearing a suit!
249
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:53,633
What are your plans
for the future, Mr. Diaz?
250
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:54,714
Mr. Candle?
251
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,717
GIRL: We're moving on
with our lives.
252
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,550
But I haven't made up
my balloon yet.
253
00:12:02,642 --> 00:12:04,845
My red belt.
254
00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:06,937
I've been looking
all over for you.
255
00:12:06,937 --> 00:12:09,019
Wait!
256
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,480
Come back.
257
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,442
Marco. Marco, Marco!
258
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:14,614
- Marco, Marco, Marco.
- ( screaming )
259
00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:15,906
- Star?
- You okay?
260
00:12:15,906 --> 00:12:17,697
Sounded like you were having
261
00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:19,409
one of those "stuck in life"
dreams again.
262
00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:22,412
Yeah. Wait. What are
you doing in here?
263
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:25,455
I'm hanging my first
Love Sentence poster.
264
00:12:25,455 --> 00:12:27,707
You can be
my prisoner of love,
265
00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:30,040
Justin Towers.
266
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,462
Uh... that's not
what I meant.
267
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:34,044
I was sleeping.
268
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:37,717
Oh! Right.
You have a hammer?
269
00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:40,140
I'm putting this bad boy up
Earth girl style.
270
00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,432
No majack!
271
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,805
Yeah, all I'm saying is,
272
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,477
you could've tried
knocking on my door,
Earth girl style.
273
00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:49,890
Why would I do that
when I have dimensional...
274
00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,601
Oh!
275
00:12:51,601 --> 00:12:55,605
How can I be so "duh"?
276
00:12:55,605 --> 00:12:57,858
Nothing's easy on Earth!
( laughs )
277
00:12:57,858 --> 00:13:01,611
I'm gonna find a hammer
the hard way.
278
00:13:01,611 --> 00:13:04,574
Scavenger hunt!
279
00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:07,167
Do we even have a hammer?
280
00:13:11,912 --> 00:13:13,914
Sensei, I need to
talk to you about
281
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:16,216
- graduating to a red--
- Silence!
282
00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:18,758
I'm about to achieve
oneness with the universe.
283
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:24,134
( inhales loudly )
284
00:13:24,134 --> 00:13:27,767
( unintelligible muttering
and grunting )
285
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,271
Now, bow to your sensei.
286
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,735
Master, I've been
a green belt for five years.
287
00:13:35,735 --> 00:13:37,397
It's time for me
to level up.
288
00:13:37,397 --> 00:13:39,699
( laughter )
289
00:13:39,699 --> 00:13:41,151
Five years, and you
think you're ready?
290
00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:42,742
Go get an ice cream cone
or something,
291
00:13:42,742 --> 00:13:44,494
and quit wasting
my Saturday.
292
00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:45,745
Sensei, I'm serious.
293
00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:47,537
Are you sure?
294
00:13:47,537 --> 00:13:49,749
The training you desire
has broken many a student.
295
00:13:49,749 --> 00:13:52,662
I'm ready to do
whatever it takes.
296
00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:54,664
Fine.
297
00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:57,297
We start... now!
298
00:13:57,297 --> 00:13:59,549
- Clip the toenail.
- Seriously?
- Clip the toenail!!
299
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,224
- Plunge the toilet.
- Ugh.
300
00:14:04,224 --> 00:14:05,555
Take the deduction.
301
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,771
Is your moment of failure
at hand, Mr. Diaz?
302
00:14:11,771 --> 00:14:13,393
No, sensei.
303
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,569
Hey, guys!
304
00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:21,691
Just ignore me.
305
00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:24,244
Why exactly are we
ignoring you?
306
00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:27,197
I'm scavenging the house
for a hammer.
307
00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:29,539
Just pretend
I'm not here.
308
00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:32,122
Okey-dokey.
309
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,414
- Do we even
have a hammer?
- No.
310
00:14:34,414 --> 00:14:36,256
( groaning )
311
00:14:36,256 --> 00:14:38,959
If I was a hammer...
312
00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:41,801
- I'd be up there!
- ( dogs barking )
313
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:44,344
We have to do something.
314
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:46,006
That's right, Mr. Diaz.
315
00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:48,558
Feel the squeegee
deep in your soul.
316
00:14:48,558 --> 00:14:50,600
Preparation is key.
317
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,602
- You never know when
trouble will arrive.
- ( horn honks )
318
00:14:52,602 --> 00:14:54,774
- Hello, dear.
- Mom!
319
00:14:54,774 --> 00:14:58,018
How nice to have you...
visit me at my own house.
320
00:14:58,018 --> 00:15:00,730
It's nice to see you finally
getting to those windows.
321
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,692
And you have
a little friend helping you.
322
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:04,904
Maybe I'll fix you
a big helper's snack.
323
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,486
Your mom seems nice.
324
00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:08,288
Oh, yes, she often
comes to see me.
325
00:15:08,288 --> 00:15:09,659
But not too often,
326
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,831
on account of her
having her own home.
327
00:15:11,831 --> 00:15:13,793
I'm glad you made
that distinction,
328
00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:15,705
because it almost seemed
like this was her house.
329
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:17,667
Here you go, boys.
330
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,799
If you need me,
I'll be taking a nap
in my room.
331
00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:21,091
Okay?
332
00:15:21,091 --> 00:15:23,003
Okay.
333
00:15:23,003 --> 00:15:24,844
It's clear that
you live at home,
334
00:15:24,844 --> 00:15:28,718
in a room that is
unsettlingly similar to mine.
335
00:15:28,718 --> 00:15:30,100
Uh... great.
336
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:32,102
Then you'll have
no problem cleaning it.
337
00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:33,853
Wait a minute.
338
00:15:33,853 --> 00:15:35,815
Are you training me
for a red belt,
339
00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:37,397
or are you making me do
all your chores?
340
00:15:37,397 --> 00:15:39,109
No, no, we're training.
341
00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:40,981
Ha! Cut the toenail.
342
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:44,064
Ugh! I think I've
more than earned my red belt.
343
00:15:44,064 --> 00:15:46,826
Uh, you can't because...
344
00:15:46,826 --> 00:15:49,069
I, uh...
345
00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:51,701
( sobbing )
346
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,334
- Because I'm also
only a green belt.
- What?!
347
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:56,626
I didn't know what
I wanted to do with my life
348
00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:59,129
so I rented a dojo
and ordered these
instructional videotapes.
349
00:15:59,129 --> 00:16:01,921
Each tape told me what to learn
to get each color belt.
350
00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:04,634
It was going
pretty well at first,
351
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,716
- but I only watched as far
as the green belt tape.
- Why'd you stop there?
352
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,849
Because the red belt tape
got stuck in the machine.
353
00:16:09,849 --> 00:16:12,762
Now it just holds up
the short leg on
my computer table.
354
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:15,895
Couldn't you just try
to get the tape out
and untangle it?
355
00:16:15,895 --> 00:16:19,729
I did, but that tape
got stuck in another machine!
356
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,482
What kind of sensei
can't even work a VCR?
357
00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:26,946
( breathes deeply )
358
00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:30,410
Well, we can totally
find it online.
359
00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:33,823
Except we can't.
360
00:16:33,823 --> 00:16:37,617
It seems like this is
one of the rarest sets of
videotapes in existence.
361
00:16:37,617 --> 00:16:39,919
I guess we'll just
have to find it IRL.
362
00:16:39,919 --> 00:16:41,501
No way.
363
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,923
I owe those guys
too much in back taxes.
364
00:16:43,923 --> 00:16:45,885
IRL means
in real life.
365
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:48,388
We just have to find
a copy somewhere out there.
366
00:16:48,388 --> 00:16:50,550
I see. In that case,
367
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:52,052
we'll need wheels.
368
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,974
( Marco laughing )
369
00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:57,477
- To adventure!
- Feel the wind
in my tassels!
370
00:16:57,477 --> 00:16:58,848
( dog barking )
371
00:16:58,848 --> 00:17:01,811
Mom, call Rocket.
He's being weird.
372
00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:04,274
( loud clattering noises )
373
00:17:06,696 --> 00:17:09,069
( groaning )
374
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:13,863
Find... hammer.
375
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:19,209
What is this place?
376
00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:20,750
It's cool.
You'll love it.
377
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:24,464
Yuck. Come on.
It's like a yard sale,
but inside.
378
00:17:24,464 --> 00:17:26,166
These are the only
kind of places
379
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,967
you can find
old videotapes anymore.
380
00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:29,669
- Is that it?
- No.
381
00:17:29,669 --> 00:17:31,431
- Is that it?
- No.
382
00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:33,263
- Is that it?
- Nope.
383
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:35,175
- Is that?
- Nope.
384
00:17:35,175 --> 00:17:36,676
Got it. Never mind.
385
00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:38,598
This is how to karaoke.
386
00:17:38,598 --> 00:17:40,180
This is impossible!
387
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:41,811
We're never
gonna find it.
388
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,813
Come on,
we just got here.
389
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,186
Why don't you go check
one of those other bookcases?
390
00:17:46,186 --> 00:17:48,027
Sensei?
391
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,572
How about grape and cherry?
Ooh, you know what?
392
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,785
Just squirt every flavor
you got on it zombie style.
393
00:17:55,785 --> 00:17:58,368
- Ooh, yeah.
- Why'd you leave?
394
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,960
Got some cash? I don't
get my allowance till Friday.
395
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,912
Oh, uh... here.
396
00:18:05,755 --> 00:18:07,337
Fifty-one, 52, 53...
397
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,088
Sensei?
What are you doing?
398
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,471
Dude, these chicks
totally dig my bike.
399
00:18:11,471 --> 00:18:13,473
- Are you for real?
- What?
400
00:18:13,473 --> 00:18:15,765
You don't really wanna
earn your red belt, do you?
401
00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:17,927
Look, we tried
and we failed.
402
00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:19,769
And that's okay.
403
00:18:19,769 --> 00:18:21,311
It's not okay.
404
00:18:21,311 --> 00:18:23,433
I actually wanted
to be like you,
405
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:25,185
but you're just like me,
406
00:18:25,185 --> 00:18:27,026
except I'm not gonna end up
38 years old
407
00:18:27,026 --> 00:18:28,858
and still living
with my parents.
408
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,192
- I'll see ya later.
- Where you going?
409
00:18:32,192 --> 00:18:35,195
I'm going to find that tape
and get my red belt.
410
00:18:35,195 --> 00:18:37,407
Uh, bow to
your sensei.
411
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,039
I don't have
a sensei anymore.
412
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:42,702
So where am I gonna
look next?
413
00:18:42,702 --> 00:18:44,204
I could check
more thrift stores,
414
00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,415
but what are the odds I'll...
oh!
415
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:47,877
Bump into it?
416
00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:52,302
You are no cinephile.
417
00:18:52,302 --> 00:18:54,013
Next.
418
00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:57,387
I'm looking for a rare set of
karate instructional tapes.
419
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,059
Finally. A customer who
knows what he's talking about.
420
00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:02,222
It's the How To Karate series.
421
00:19:02,222 --> 00:19:03,933
The red belt tape.
422
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:07,897
Behold, the coveted
volume 8 red belt cassette.
423
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,479
Viewed only once.
424
00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:13,032
I've been looking
all over for you.
425
00:19:13,032 --> 00:19:14,404
Not without
gloves, please.
426
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,155
Okay. How much is it?
427
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,158
I will give you
the aficionado price. 2,400.
428
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,700
Dollars?!
429
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,492
I can't afford that.
430
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:25,375
Well, there is another way.
Fight me for it.
431
00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:28,167
Really? Yeah, okay.
432
00:19:34,294 --> 00:19:37,056
I'm not leaving
without that tape.
433
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,092
Hey, Marco.
I'm still your sensei, right?
434
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,890
Sensei, he has the tape.
435
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:32,902
Mr. Diaz,
clip the toenail!
436
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,361
You... defeated me.
437
00:20:41,361 --> 00:20:44,284
The tape is yours.
438
00:20:46,035 --> 00:20:49,128
Can you ask him if he has
the How To Untangle
439
00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:51,541
Multiple VHS Tapes
VHS tape.
440
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,252
No. Do you have
a pair of scissors?
441
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,174
Actually, we--
442
00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:56,716
Not the critically
acclaimed
443
00:20:56,716 --> 00:20:58,087
award-winning
romantic comedy
444
00:20:58,087 --> 00:20:59,719
A Pair of Scissors.
445
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,141
An actual
pair of scissors.
446
00:21:02,141 --> 00:21:03,683
No.
447
00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:05,144
It's okay, guys.
448
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:07,186
I'm done.
449
00:21:07,186 --> 00:21:08,648
Go on without me.
450
00:21:08,648 --> 00:21:11,230
- ( clattering )
- A hammer!
451
00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:13,022
( both sighing )
452
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:15,775
Now I just need
to find some nails.
453
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,897
Back to the store.
454
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,202
You know, red is
really your color.
455
00:21:23,202 --> 00:21:25,995
It's yours too, sensei.
456
00:21:25,995 --> 00:21:30,039
I'd say this Earth girl
did a job well done.
457
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:34,173
Now, let's clean this house
the easy way.
458
00:21:38,217 --> 00:21:41,130
♪ I think Earth
is a pretty great place ♪
459
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:43,092
♪ That's saying something ♪
460
00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:45,385
♪ 'Cause I've been
through outer space ♪
461
00:21:45,385 --> 00:21:49,018
♪ I think it suits me,
it's just my style ♪
462
00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:52,732
♪ I think I'm gonna stay
a little while ♪
463
00:21:52,732 --> 00:21:55,395
♪ I think that strangers
are just friends ♪
464
00:21:55,395 --> 00:21:57,397
♪ You haven't met ♪
465
00:21:57,397 --> 00:22:01,150
♪ I'm blasting monsters
and I never break a sweat ♪
466
00:22:01,150 --> 00:22:05,865
♪ I'm really thinking I could
call this place home ♪
30199
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