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1
00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:04,100
All right, Carter, follow me.
Put the phone down.
Put the phone down.
2
00:00:04,210 --> 00:00:06,240
All right, we're gonna
start simple. We're gonna
take off this wheel and tire,
3
00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:08,140
check out the suspension,
all right?
4
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,490
And we're gonna be using
these tools.
5
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:13,150
What tool do we use
to take off the lug nuts?
6
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:16,870
Lug nuts.
Good one, Pops.
7
00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:19,150
You gotta focus here.
Gotta focus.
8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,160
Oh.
9
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,510
Oh, boy. I recognize that sigh.
10
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,270
Having flashbacks of Matt
mentoring me
when I was Carter's age.
11
00:00:32,370 --> 00:00:34,440
He doesn't know
how to talk to kids.
12
00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:36,270
I don't even think
he ever was a kid.
13
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:39,620
Oh, yeah. When he
came out the womb,
his first words were,
14
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,520
"Back in my day."
15
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,280
You got to put down the phone.
16
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,220
Life is out here, not in here.
17
00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:51,980
Yeah. Got it, Pops.
18
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:53,950
I didn't ask you anything.
19
00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:57,090
You gotta put the phone down.
You kids, you gotta learn
how to work.
20
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:59,810
You gotta learn how to
do things, not watch things.
21
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,260
I gotta help Carter.
22
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:02,370
Hey, look, man.
23
00:01:02,470 --> 00:01:04,200
It's cool
you wanna have his back,
24
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,850
but when you go in,
don't expect
the same out of me.
25
00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:09,170
Aren't you afraid
of getting hurt?
26
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,690
Whoa, whoa, boss,
why don't you just
ease it up a little bit?
27
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:16,280
"Ease up a little bit"?
What do you mean?
28
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,380
Somebody get the first aid kit!
29
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,970
- What, what, what?
- It-It's just, you know, uh,
30
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,840
mentoring takes
a certain skill set,
31
00:01:23,940 --> 00:01:26,180
and I don't think it's
really one of your strengths.
32
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,120
It's not like,
you know, you're weak.
You're so strong.
33
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,810
The Rock has a picture of you
on his refrigerator.
34
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,680
Am I right, Stitch? S-Stitch?
35
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:39,890
Tuck and roll, boy.
Tuck and roll.
36
00:01:41,370 --> 00:01:45,720
Yeah, all I'm saying is,
uh, you're not the most
patient guy in the world.
37
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:48,000
So maybe I shouldn't help
my grandson
38
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,590
fix the car that I bought
for he and I to restore.
39
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,320
No, that is not
what I'm saying.
40
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:54,560
Why don't you just take over?
41
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:56,080
Uh, no,
I-I don't want to impose.
42
00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:57,970
I think it's a little late
for that, isn't it?
43
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,220
You go ahead at it.
It's all yours.
44
00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:03,700
You know what?
45
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:05,840
I'm gonna take on
this challenge.
I'm looking forward to it.
46
00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:07,120
Don't care.
47
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,590
Papa, we need to talk.
48
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:24,760
I can't talk now.
I'm in the middle of something.
49
00:02:24,860 --> 00:02:29,010
"Estate planning"?
Boy, they don't make it easy
in California, do they?
50
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,700
- Not gonna leave
unless I talk to you?
- Correct.
51
00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,780
You're gonna become something
very special in the future.
52
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,060
I don't know what it is,
but I think
it'll involve prison time.
53
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,950
Well, I just hope I'm half
as successful as you are.
54
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:49,060
Not to mention
as generous and bold.
55
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,240
Let's not forget
not born yesterday.
What do you want?
56
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,200
Would you be my guest
at career day tomorrow?
57
00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:55,960
I need a parent-guardian
to join.
58
00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:58,520
Well, lucky for me,
I'm neither one of those.
59
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,280
But I want you to come.
60
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,760
Your auto shop's so cool.
The kids will love it.
61
00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:05,390
So you'll do it?
I have a form for you to sign.
62
00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:11,360
Well, yeah, why not?
63
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,670
Nobody your age knows
how to build anything
with their hands anyway.
64
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:16,120
"Learn to be an influencer."
What is that?
65
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,470
Or a content creator.
66
00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:19,880
You know who created content?
God.
67
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:23,680
Ugh!
68
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:25,480
The community theater
production of Cats
came in today
69
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,270
and got fur
all over the bathroom.
70
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,690
And who had to clean it up? Me.
71
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:33,450
I coughed up hair balls
the whole drive home.
72
00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:37,180
Cats. Boy, there's
certain things that should have
been left in the '80s.
73
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,910
I'll tell you what,
karaoke, mullets, bongs.
74
00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:47,840
I believe the next track
on Matt Parker's Greatest Hits
75
00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:50,360
is "No Sandwich is Worth More
than Eight Dollars."
76
00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:53,060
No sandwich is worth more
than eight dollars.
77
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,610
Speaking of careers,
I got an email inviting me
to career day tomorrow.
78
00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:59,860
You don't have to come, Mom.
I invited Papa.
79
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,200
No, no, your mom's got this.
80
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,930
No, you gotta go.
You signed a contract.
81
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:07,550
- This is something
your mom should do.
- But you signed a contract.
82
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,520
Fine, I'll go.
83
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,560
Eleven-year-old audiences
are my sweet spot.
84
00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:14,590
I can tell them
the hair ball story.
85
00:04:16,870 --> 00:04:18,490
But, Papa,
you have to come too.
86
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,360
What, are you gonna sue me
for breach of contract?
87
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:22,950
Maybe.
88
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,910
Hey, how's it going?
89
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:27,640
So great. Yeah.
90
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:31,920
It is such an honor
and privilege to mentor
the next generation.
91
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:35,510
I can't wait
to thank Matt for giving me
this wonderful opportunity.
92
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,170
Man, this ain't the Oscars.
93
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:40,900
And you ain't mentoring.
You're doing all the work.
94
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,480
And look at Timothée Chalamet.
95
00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,180
Over there
taking weird selfies.
96
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,280
Yeah, okay.
97
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:51,560
It's been rough, okay?
I can't get this kid
to focus or sit still.
98
00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,700
Got any ideas?
99
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,980
Well, my drill sergeant
used to shout in our face
till we was covered in spit.
100
00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:01,850
It was effective
till he gave three guys
in my platoon herpes.
101
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:06,200
No, no, no, no.
No yelling, okay?
That's the Matt way.
102
00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:09,860
We're gonna go with
the Gabriel way.
Patience and compassion.
103
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,690
Watch this. Hey, buddy.
104
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,410
Come over here.
I wanna show you something.
105
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,350
What is your problem, man?
106
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,380
You spent this whole day
just focused on your phone
and yourself.
107
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:25,220
You kids, you gotta learn
how to actually do things,
not just watch things.
108
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:28,880
Oh, no.
109
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,950
Oh, yes.
110
00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:34,500
It's happened.
The Matt-amorphosis
is complete.
111
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,850
Carter.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it.
112
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:39,330
No, I'm sorry. I...
113
00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:43,860
I can't focus
'cause there's this girl.
114
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:47,100
A girl? We are...
115
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,240
Leaning in.
116
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:49,480
Scooch.
117
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,310
Her name's Lily,
and she's really cool.
118
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:57,490
And she does that sneeze
where you kind of sneeze,
but not really, like...
119
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,150
You got this, buddy.
120
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:05,190
Look, tomorrow at school,
you just go up to Lily,
and you go, "Hey."
121
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,740
Hey.
122
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:11,610
No, no, no.
You just, you know, "Hey."
123
00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:13,920
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Just turn on the charm.
124
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,370
Make her laugh.
125
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:17,410
No, play it cool.
Leave her guessing, you know?
126
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:18,960
Make her heart race
a little bit.
127
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:21,170
Do not listen to him.
He got commitment issues.
128
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:23,170
You're the one who just
broke up with your girlfriend.
129
00:06:23,270 --> 00:06:27,070
Yeah, after she
became president
of the Flat Earth Association.
130
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,940
And she would never refill
the Brita.
131
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,420
Now, you can be crazy
or inconsiderate. Not both.
132
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,500
Thank you, Dr. Smith,
for your moving presentation.
133
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,740
I think we all shed a tear
listening to your story.
134
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,300
Tears of boredom.
135
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,990
I didn't know
we'd be following someone
who performed heart surgery.
136
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,100
On a donkey. Who cares?
137
00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,690
These people have
some impressive jobs.
138
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:58,210
Oprah's therapist,
Kourtney Kardashian's stylist.
139
00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:02,240
In Vegas, you either
deal blackjack or sell
gold teeth at a pawn shop.
140
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:04,140
Is it hot in here?
141
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:07,460
It is not often
that we get both parents.
142
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,220
Now, let's welcome
Mr. and Mrs. Parker.
143
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,980
- Ah! No, no, no, no.
- Oh. No, no, no.
144
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,150
Oh, God, no, no.
145
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:18,640
We are not one of those
age-gap couples.
146
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:20,990
No offense.
147
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,370
He's my dad.
148
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:27,860
Right. Age-gap couple,
is that what we call this?
149
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,930
Young and hot.
Rich, wealthy troll.
No offense, man.
150
00:07:33,590 --> 00:07:35,420
Well,
it's good to be here.
151
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,940
I guess we all know now
what jobs we do not want.
152
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:43,220
I'm Matt Parker,
and I own Parker's Customs.
153
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,220
Who wants to hear about the car
154
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:50,950
that I restored
for Robert Downey Jr.
aka Iron Man?
155
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:53,680
They all do, Papa.
156
00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:55,440
Wait, props?
157
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:58,020
I didn't know
we could bring props.
I could've brought my
158
00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,650
ergonomic chair.
159
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:06,200
And that is reason 25 why cars
are better than people.
160
00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:08,690
Thanks, you guys.
161
00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,380
Wait a minute.
162
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:15,520
I still have a gift
for the best question,
and I think that has to go...
163
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,150
I think it's Owen, right?
164
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:21,500
Owen, for the best question,
"Do people mistake me
for George Clooney?" You bet.
165
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,150
Uh-huh, yeah.
166
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:27,780
Anyway,
I see big talent in you.
167
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,230
Now we're going to hear
from Georgia's mom, Riley.
168
00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:33,400
- Great job, Mr. Parker.
- Thank you very much.
169
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,610
Maybe we should chat
after class.
170
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,790
I see big talent in you too.
171
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:43,760
Gross. Hi, kids.
172
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:48,250
So, I work at a place called
Premiere Dance Lab where I--
173
00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:50,900
Work with
really awesome dancers.
174
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:54,840
When are rehearsals
for the new season
of Dancing with the Stars?
175
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,460
Oh. Um...
176
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,500
Not sure,
but I do love that show.
177
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,850
Mostly because
watching people fail makes me
feel better about myself.
178
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:04,680
You guys know
what I'm talking about, right?
179
00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:07,820
Is it true you started
choreographing when you
were still in high school?
180
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,680
Oh, um...
181
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,580
I might have
exaggerated a bit.
182
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,200
- What?
- Just go with it.
183
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,280
Oh, um...
184
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:21,830
Yes, when I was in high school,
I did choreograph something.
185
00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:24,870
Less of a dance,
more of a heist
186
00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:28,390
to get our raspberry vodka back
from the principal's office.
187
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,150
She's kidding.
188
00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:36,570
Let Georgia's mom
finish her presentation
before questions.
189
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:38,540
But can you tell us
a little bit
190
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,850
about working with Rihanna
for her Super Bowl show?
191
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,690
I'm not playing this game.
192
00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:53,210
All right, kids,
story time's over.
193
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:55,040
It's about to get real
up in here.
194
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:59,730
Despite many requests from
certain Vegas nightclub owners,
195
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,220
I'm not a dancer.
196
00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:05,390
I am a receptionist.
197
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,500
Before that, I was
a blackjack dealer
at a retirement home.
198
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,260
And before that,
I cleaned porta-potties
at a go-kart track.
199
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:16,850
And the only thing worse
than those kids' driving
was their aim.
200
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,890
Wait a minute.
I think you might have
another gift here in the bag.
201
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,590
What's up, guys?
202
00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:28,000
Yo, there he is.
Hey, how'd it go with Lily?
203
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,490
Did you give her the, "Hey"?
204
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:36,010
Well, I-I went up to her
in biology, and I was gonna
give her the, "Hey."
205
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:42,360
But she looked at me,
and I froze, and it
kind of came out...
206
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,610
You know what? New plan.
207
00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:48,920
Okay, maybe you'd be
more comfortable with a text.
208
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:51,060
How about, uh,
209
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:55,440
"Hey, Lily. Who needs
a garden when you can just
plant yourself in my heart?"
210
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:04,210
You trying to get
the boy a date
or on America's Most Wanted?
211
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:07,280
I'm trying to get him
on Lily's Most Wanted.
212
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,180
Carter, you got this.
Just trust your instincts.
213
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:14,290
Okay. How about, "Hey, Lily,
wanna hang sometime?"
214
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:15,880
- Do it, do it.
- Yeah. Sounds good.
215
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,160
- What'd she say?
- Did she respond?
216
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,780
Guys, chill.
I just sent the message.
217
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,370
- What'd she say?
- Was that her?
218
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:28,610
Well, she wants me to, uh,
come over to her place
and hang tonight.
219
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,340
Yeah, boy.
220
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,140
There's my star. You're
the talk of the playground.
221
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:44,530
Let's cut the crap, okay?
Although you're right,
I drilled it.
222
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,810
You were very rude to
your mother in that classroom.
223
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:49,670
What about me?
224
00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:52,570
She embarrassed me, and now
everyone thinks I'm a liar.
225
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,740
That's because you are a liar.
226
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,370
They weren't
supposed to know that.
227
00:11:57,470 --> 00:11:59,470
Trying to impress your friends,
I get that.
228
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:02,100
You stepped over the line.
You owe your mom an apology.
229
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,240
Ugh!
What a day at work.
230
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,030
I was trying to teach Rihanna
the Dougie.
231
00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:12,730
And then Beyoncé called.
232
00:12:14,070 --> 00:12:17,520
It's not easy,
but apparently it's the life
I chose in high school
233
00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:21,010
when I decided to be
a world-famous choreographer.
234
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,600
Georgia has something
to say to you.
235
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,050
I didn't even want to
invite you in the first place
because your job is lame.
236
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,330
Oh.
237
00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:31,470
That's not an apology.
238
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,130
So that's why you lied
to all your friends
about what I did?
239
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:38,720
I didn't lie. I was trying
to make you sound
more interesting.
240
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:42,030
Oh! I'm sorry
I'm not more interesting.
241
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:45,550
I was too busy trying
to put a roof over your head
and buy you an iPhone.
242
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:48,800
Yeah, an iPhone 7.
It still has the home button.
243
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:55,460
Oh, my God, you are such
a brat. Go to your room.
244
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,150
This is just
a weird thing to say,
245
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,950
but "roof over your head,"
I actually put a roof
over your head.
246
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,230
Too soon. Too soon.
Too soon. Too soon.
247
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,000
Are you here to apologize?
248
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,440
Um... No.
249
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,410
I'm here to get my backpack.
I have a test tomorrow.
250
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,450
Oh, well, make sure
you get an A
251
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,760
so you don't end up
being a receptionist
at a dance studio.
252
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,210
That's pretty sound advice.
253
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,530
Not helping.
254
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,430
Oh, you're wearing your Uggs.
255
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:34,600
I bought those using the tips
I got bartending
a poolside bachelorette.
256
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:38,260
Made 50 volcano bowls
and had to save the bride
from drowning.
257
00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,510
I bet Timmy's donkey doctor dad
couldn't do that.
258
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,890
You're being so dramatic
and immature.
259
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,580
You're dramatic and immature.
Also...
260
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:50,720
Papa, are you seeing this?
261
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,310
Don't you dare take her side.
262
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:54,830
For once in my life,
I'm happy somebody's visiting.
263
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,560
- Hi, Matt.
- I retract that statement.
264
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:01,730
I gotta talk to Carter.
He sent me a text--
265
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,080
I don't need to hear it.
I knew he'd break you.
He broke you, right?
266
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:05,430
- Mentoring is no joke.
- No.
267
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:07,570
How do parents do it?
268
00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:10,050
Oh, well, it's actually
pretty easy. Until your kids
turn into giant brats.
269
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:12,920
I'm out of here.
I'm going to study.
270
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,810
Also...
271
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,060
- Did she just...
- She did.
272
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,230
She did.
273
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:20,680
Listen, I'm sorry you
had to see all this.
274
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,650
No, it's all good. Yeah,
it reminds me when Diane
and Riley would go at it,
275
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:27,210
and you'd get involved,
and somehow
they ended up hating you.
276
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,490
It is like that.
277
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:35,800
Matt?
278
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,040
You still here?
279
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:40,250
Carter's in
Sam's old bedroom upstairs.
280
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,700
Okay, going.
281
00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:43,840
And the faucet in there
is leaking really weird.
282
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,980
Yeah, I'm here on
a mentor level.
I'm not really on the clock.
283
00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:48,330
I'm gonna take a look.
284
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,650
Could you be any louder?
285
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:56,750
Oh, is my trying to feed you
making too much noise?
286
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,580
I'm sorry.
287
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:02,860
Are you kidding me?
Can you turn that off, please?
288
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,170
I can't hear you. What?
289
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,630
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Turn it off!
290
00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:09,590
Hey! Come on. Come on.
291
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,940
Family, all right, listen.
Sit, both of you.
292
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,220
Sit down over there.
Boy, oh, boy.
293
00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:16,630
Riley, this is ridiculous.
294
00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:19,980
You're not acting like
her mother. You're acting
like a spoiled brat.
295
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,670
What?
296
00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:22,920
Preach, Papa.
297
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:27,820
And your obsession with status
is not real. It's pathetic.
298
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,750
- Tell her, Dad.
- Just listen to you two.
299
00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:31,790
You're getting all hysterical
over nothing.
300
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,410
It's just typical chick drama.
301
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:37,070
I am not...
What's that now?
302
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:38,790
Yeah, what's that now?
303
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,350
I know it's not
a woman's strong suit,
but we're talking about logic--
304
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,700
"A woman's strong suit"?
305
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,420
- Yes.
- Why don't you take
that phrase back
306
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,500
to the '30s
where you both belong?
307
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,840
- 1830!
- Nice.
308
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,190
This is why women
are not in charge of anything,
309
00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:56,670
because you're
way too emotional.
310
00:15:56,780 --> 00:15:58,060
Oh. Really, Dad?
311
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,090
- Yes.
- Thanks for mansplaining that.
312
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,650
If it weren't for mansplaining,
you women
wouldn't know anything.
313
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,240
He's such a Neanderthal.
314
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:10,650
Actually,
Neanderthals came along
after your grandfather.
315
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,310
Why don't you go
back to your cave?
316
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:18,660
And you two stay here in
the kitchen and, I don't know,
discuss sewing or barrettes.
317
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:23,840
I will go into the office
and do all the major
decision-making.
318
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,640
Men are ridiculous.
319
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,540
Yeah, just you wait.
320
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,720
Can I help with dinner, Mom?
321
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,720
Um... Sure.
You can chop the vegetables.
322
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,560
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
323
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:53,350
I know.
324
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,460
So you got my text?
325
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,460
Yeah, I wanted to see
if you were okay.
326
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,880
You can't tell me
you're flaking on Lily
and leave me on "read."
327
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,500
What the hell is on your nose?
328
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,510
Oh, it shrinks your pores
in your T-zone.
329
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:13,410
Twenty minutes later,
you got that Hailey Bieber
glazed doughnut glow.
330
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,650
I thought
you were excited to go.
331
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,450
I was, until I found out
it's not a date.
332
00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:20,030
It's a group hang.
333
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,000
Have you ever had a girl
put you in the friend zone?
334
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,140
Mmm.
335
00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:25,520
No.
336
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,970
But, you know, maybe Lily's
just, you know, nervous
to be alone with you.
337
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:35,840
I know all you see
is this smooth-talking guy
dripping rizz,
338
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:39,850
but the truth is,
I can be socially awkward.
339
00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,330
Nah.
340
00:17:41,430 --> 00:17:42,640
I panic around people.
341
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,640
Am I talking too much?
Not enough?
342
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,370
Too much and not enough?
343
00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:49,200
Yeah, I get it. I mean,
high school's a beast,
you know?
344
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:53,650
Figuring out who you are,
who people want you to be,
who you don't want to be.
345
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,140
For me, it was my
chemistry teacher, Mr. Toledo.
346
00:17:56,730 --> 00:18:01,520
His shirts were always so thin,
his nipples so hard.
347
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:07,150
Yeah. But I-I mean,
at least you had friends.
348
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,430
I have four,
and three of them are robots.
349
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,430
I had six.
Three Fords, three Chevys.
350
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,400
I was pretty anxious too,
you know?
351
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:22,230
And then one day,
I decided to be myself.
Start putting myself out there.
352
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,620
Like Mr. Toledo's nipples.
353
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:30,070
I just... I don't wanna
ruin it with Lily.
354
00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:34,320
You won't know till you go.
355
00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:38,390
If things go south,
Stitch and I
will be there to pick you up.
356
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,360
- Really?
- Of course, man.
357
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,950
Part of our crew now.
The Car-bro-retors.
358
00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:47,670
Now I see why you didn't have
any friends in high school.
359
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:48,920
Yeah.
360
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,750
But if you made it through,
so can I.
361
00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:54,230
I'll go.
362
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:56,060
Attaboy. Now we're talking.
363
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,030
- Whoa, whoa,
you forgetting something?
- Oh, right.
364
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,140
I love you, man.
365
00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:04,350
No, dude. The nose strip.
366
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:08,450
Yeah.
367
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:12,460
I smell Mom's brownies.
368
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,080
Good for you.
369
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:16,670
Now, you remembered to put
sugar in this time, right?
370
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,360
Damn it.
371
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:22,600
Man.
372
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:24,610
All that stuff with Georgia
got me thinking about Mom.
373
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:27,230
You and your mom
had a lot of fights in here,
I'll tell you that.
374
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,440
Yeah, but I wasn't as bad
as Georgia.
375
00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:32,270
You forgot
your whole childhood, right?
376
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,440
What are you talking about?
377
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,930
Your mom embarrassed you
from the moment you put on
those shiny black moon boots.
378
00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:40,100
You mean Doc Martens?
379
00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:43,210
I don't care what doctor
you got them from, you were
embarrassed by your mother.
380
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,320
You had her pick you up
a block away from school.
381
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:49,080
You guys bolt in here
for no reason,
screaming at each other.
382
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:52,840
"Do you believe her, Dad?"
And then Mom would point
to me, "It's your daughter."
383
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:56,570
You two arguing like that
was like being on The View
on election day.
384
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:01,260
Then you'd come in with all
your fake toxic male stuff
385
00:20:01,370 --> 00:20:04,030
to give us a common enemy
like you did today.
386
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:08,170
Yeah, but gotta be honest,
back then it wasn't fake.
387
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:11,760
You made a big change.
388
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,480
And then when Georgia's older,
she's gonna realize
what you've done.
389
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,110
You know, when she's, like, 21.
390
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,970
And until then...
391
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:19,280
It's gonna be horrible.
392
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:24,110
And then they get into
the teenage years. That's
when you learn to be mean.
393
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:28,770
Then the hormones kick in,
and that, uh, monthly visitor
shows up.
394
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:32,120
Shark attack, shark attack.
Ay-yi-yi.
395
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:35,950
Oh-ho-ho. You're, like, doing
the fake caveman thing again.
396
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:37,850
What?
397
00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:44,030
Guess who got
a one-on-one date with Lily.
398
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,580
Peep the drip.
399
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,760
Whoo. Let's go.
400
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,800
Technically, she's giving me
bio tutoring after school,
but...
401
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:54,660
your boy's in the game.
402
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,490
It's still go!
403
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,530
Hello, gentlemen.
I see no work's been done,
so I was right.
404
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:01,570
You are a loser
in this mentor business.
405
00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:06,120
He may have failed with my car,
but he won himself
a little bro.
406
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,850
Gross. All right, Carter,
hop over here.
407
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:10,710
We're gonna
start this over again.
408
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,580
We're gonna figure out how to
do the whole thing. Hold on.
409
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,890
Uh! You know the rule, Pops,
no phones.
410
00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:18,310
You have to learn to actually
do things, not just watch.
411
00:21:19,830 --> 00:21:23,100
Timothée Chalamet
done lost his damn mind.
33014
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