Original subtitles

Hey, Freddie, ustani.

They hate it when we do this.

Today, on this beautiful ten-acre campus,

we find a dedicated staff of teachers and administrators

devoted to providing young Americans

with the finest modern education possible.

So there you have our magnificent new physical plant.

Why, these beautiful buildings alone

should be grounds for full reinstatement of our accreditation.

Our test scores have risen over 150 percent in the last two years.

This is due in no small part to our new principal, Mr. McGree.

The UFO club meets Thursday night. Oh, and bring your flashlight.

Da li ste spremni za rokenrol?

So there you have it. The all-new Reagan High.

Isn't it true that the old school building

met with some sort of horrible accident?

Accident, yes. Horrible, no.

F minus ten and counting.

When the west wing was slightly damaged by a fire,

The truth is, Cheese, your so-called students

burnt most of the old school to the ground.

10, 9, 8...

Now, if you expect this committee

to end the school's probation...

6, 5, 4...

You'll have to demonstrate...

3, 2...

That discipline has been fully restored.

Go for it!

Flush 'em hard, boys!

Gospode Bo�e.

Opet se de�ava.

Whoa. What's going on?

What the hell is going on?

Cow stampede again.

What the...

It's probably...

It's rock and roll high school day, yeah!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Class is not dismissed.

Students, please return to your classrooms.

Return to your classrooms or this will be a black mark on your permanent record

that will follow you throughout the rest of your life.

What day did you say it was?

Rock and roll high school day. And what's that?

Well, you see, that's the day when they burned down the school.

On this day, you can do anything you wanna do.

Really? Yeah.

Hey... hey! Trust me!

Come back here!

Mrs. Grossman, I think this kind of immature behavior

is just an insult to Reagan High

and to fine teachers like yourself who care about standards.

Students, return to your classrooms immediately or...

Oh!

You'll be severely punished.

I told you it wasn't a good day to have the committee come.

I've told you a hundred times

you're too soft on those delinquents.

You're just not cut out for this job.

You made me take it.

Shut up! You may know how to teach,

but you don't know how to discipline.

And we're going to find somebody who does.

Hey, man, what's up?

Hey, boy.

'Sup? You see that?

Yeah, man.

I couldn't believe...

Snackola! Whoo! I got her! Yo!

And that's why we're here today

to ask ourselves what is God's plan for your life?

Anyone? God wants you to make money.

Amen, brother!

Hey, Namrok, I got the want ads.

Right on!

Whoa!

Ooh!

Good job, Ace.

I'm sorry.

You know, I could give you two days of detention for that.

Wait, wait. You're not...

A teacher? Yes. I'm substituting for Miss Poindexter.

She's sick.

You don't look like a teacher.

So what do I look like, a gorilla?

No, you look very beautiful.

I mean nice. I mean you look very nice.

Oh, great. Now I'm late.

Look, cut the acrobatics before you kill someone...

Jessie. Jessie Davis.

Well, cool it, Jessie.

Bye. Wow.

Class, class, class.

Everyone, there will be an important announcement next period.

Everyone, everyone should go to their homeroom.

Go to your homeroom after next period

for an important announcement.

It sounds like they found the tarantula.

What tarantula?

The big, hairy one in the girls' shower.

Check this out. Listen.

1965 Frigidaire refrigerator. For sale by original owner.

Runs real good. Ask for Edna Snotgrass.

Sounds like a little appliance worship to me.

Yes it does, my brother. Hit me.

Stand by for important announcement.

Cue the announcement. Cue the announcement.

My name is Dr. Vadar and I am the new Vice Principal

in charge of discipline.

There are going to be some changes here at Reagan High.

Hello, madam. How are you?

I have brought my congregation with me

because we called about your Frigidaire refrigerator.

Are you really a preacher?

I never heard of that church you said you was with.

I am the hereditary mandible of the First Lithuanian Church

of Large Appliance Worship.

You really gonna pay me money just to look at my old fridge?

Madam, the mandible never lies.

Starting Monday, this institution will operate

on a strict demerit system.

All demerits will be cumulative throughout the semester.

All violations will be recorded

and there will be no appeal.

Smoking will be punished by one demerit.

Tardy, one demerit.

What's going on?

Two or more demerits for each infraction

depending on how I feel.

Do not ask, my children, for whom the refrigerator hums

because it hums for thee.

Hallelujah.

What's that racket, Edna?

Quiet, Frank. They're Lithuanians.

Well, don't stand there, Edna. Get the camera.

You don't see stuff like this every day.

Dancing, singing, five demerits each.

And there will be absolutely no more rock and roll days

at Reagan High.

And another thing. Don't piss me off.

Behold the inner crisper.

Aaahh!

Yes, yes!

Let us shine the inner light

on our holy of holies.

Ha ha ha ha.

[screaming]

Jiminy. Wait'll "The Inquisitor" sees this.

Hey, that's Pursuit of Happiness singing "I'm an Adult Now"

And here's Screaming Steve to tell you how to win free tickets

to their concert next Friday night.

Here on Rock-TV, we want to know your favorite hometown bands

so call our 976 number and cast your vote

in our local heroes contest.

We're happenin' now.

Winners will receive free front-row tickets

to see the band of the '90s in their sold-out concert

next Friday night. So call now

and cast your vote for your favorite hometown band.

Free tickets, here we come.

Rock-TV 976 call-in line. Who's your favorite hometown band?

Yeah, I wanna vote for The Eradicators from Reagan High.

Jones, you're a genius.

976 Rock-TV call-in line. Who's your favorite band?

The Eradicators. They're way cool.

976 call-in line. Who's your favorite band?

All right!

Eradicators from Reagan High, like, for sure.

That's it, baby. Reach out and...

Touch somebody. And touch somebody.

All right!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit it now, Stella.

Wow. Great job as usual by your refreshment committee, Whitney.

Thank you, Donovan.

This is the best Honor Society Dance ever.

Cute dress, Margaret.

Thanks, Whitney!

That band is playing the strangest music.

Who hired them? You did, sweetums.

I'd like to speak to you about your announcement, Dr. Vadar.

Don't you think the new rules are a bit unreasonable?

I mean, after all, kids are kids. We can't expect them...

I've been hired to do a job.

That job is to restore discipline.

Your job is administration and academics.

You do your job and I'll do mine.

Oh, dear.

Stop playing this stupid song. It's not on the list.

Wait. Wait. Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it. Stop the music.

Whitney, what is your problem?

Look, just stick to my playlist, all right?

Nobody wants to hear some dumb Eradicators song.

In case you're interested, my dear, that song happens to be a classic.

Fats Domino wrote it and Bill Haley and the Comets used to do it.

So who's that? Some dumb friend of yours?

He's not dumb. He's dead.

Look, I really don't care how smart he is, all right?

Just stick to the playlist or you won't get paid.

Great. Thank you.

Ladies, gentlemen, what is this list shit?

Well, she sorta gave me something when we made the deal.

Great. Thank you. Sure.

Looks to me like it's time for the mean green slimin' machine.

Right on! Yeah, slime 'em.

Jessie, man, this is a new shirt.

Jones, what's more important, your new shirt

or the preservation of our mental health?

Shit.

My parents are out of town

and I've got some great blush in the Sub-Zero.

What is this band playing?

This is not on the list.

Come on.

Whoa.

Oh my God.

Hey!

Somebody help me!

Stop that!

Oh! Oh!

Hey, cut that out.

Stop that.

Don't wait up, honey.

Now you stop that!

And you! You stop tha...

You know, man, once these guys cut loose

these geeks know how to party.

Yeah, but it's time to get out of here. Let's go.

Stage left. Stage right.

That was so funny.

Goin' somewhere, boys?

What's it to you, Jello brain?

Dr. Vadar wants to see you.

Dr. Who?

Wow.

That's really good.

From now on you will not play

your disgusting rock and roll on school grounds ever.

We've always played our rock and roll on school grounds.

Your band has been eradicated from Reagan High.

Oh, no, no. She put me in fourth period Biology?

So? So...

Whitney and that little bed wetter Margaret are in that class.

Oh, how lucky can you get?

Let me see it.

Hey, guys. What's happening?

We can't practice music at lunchtime anymore.

What? Vadar changed all our schedules.

Yeah. She put you and Mag in third period lunch.

This would never happen in our old lunch period.

What are you looking at, slime dogs?

I was just noticing your unusual assortment of food there.

Mind your own damn business.

No problem.

May I help you?

I want that big piece of fat right there.

This? Right here, this.

All of it.

No fat for me, please. I'm tryin' to cut back.

Shh. She'll hear you.

What's her trip?

She's the witch's daughter.

Her mother's a witch.

They even live in the sign of the devil,

666 Dante Circle.

Cool.

Can I have some peas and corn, please?

Have a seat behind Margaret and Whitney, Stella.

Behind Margaret and Whitney.

Gee, Stella, with those clothes

you must be very secure.

Unlike others, I enjoy good mental health.

Stella, you're really weird and you're going to be weird all your life.

I'd rather be weird than Whitney.

Breath control A+, pitch B-.

Oh, come on. The pitch was ah, oui, superb.

Catch you later, man.

Wait a minute. You're not in that class.

I just transferred.

Hi. How's my favorite substitute doing?

The teacher's doing just fine, thank you.

Good, good. Listen, I just wanted to give you

a little bit of fair warning.

These guys are a bunch of animals and they sent

old Miss Poindexter back up to the nuthouse.

Just wanna let you know that.

I can handle 'em.

Okay. Good luck.

Oooh.

Hey, you got a problem?

Yeah, you.

Hey. Chill out.

I hope you'll be able to give your book report today, Magnuson.

Otherwise, I won't be able to pass you in Senior English.

It's in the bag, Mrs. Grossman.

Unless you're doing a report on a cookbook,

you're still in trouble, bro.

Not with this.

What's that? It's my pacemaker.

That's not a pacemaker.

It is today.

I know that most of you find classical music boring

and that you probably took this class just to get an easy A,

I know that, but I hope to convince you

in the few weeks that we have left that beautiful music,

and it is beautiful, can be as exciting

as a football game.

Now listen.

Hut-one, hut-two, hut-three.

The melody is snapped to the first violins.

You could tell this is a really cool book, Mrs. Grossman,

because Francis Ford Coppola made his movie Apocalypse Now about it.

The first cello fakes left.

He cuts right. He's wide open, pass complete.

The strings are first and ten now on the 40.

It's about these dudes on a boat

going up this really grody jungle river,

which is basically a bummer, 'cause it's bunches of mosquitoes

and they don't have any Raid.

To the flute who steps back to pass.

He's in the pocket, great protection from the drum.

The hero dudes get to this weird place

where there's this big concert thing happening

with Playboy bunnies coming off the helicopters on ropes.

Ending quarter. The score is tied 10 all.

The cello takes the melody on the 20.

He's hit by the flute but breaks the tackle.

He gets a beautiful block from the trombones.

They're shooting arrows and being super uncool.

Mag... And then...

Wait a minute, they meet one of the coolest actors there ever was, Dennis Hopper.

Mag... Wait wait wait.

35, he's at the 40, he crosses midfield, the cymbals dive.

And he's living with a fat, naked man and a bunch of stoned-out natives.

This is not the book that I assigned.

Oh. Oh!

Magnuson!

He's hit by the drums but breaks the tackle.

He gets a beautiful block from the trumpets. All right!

Are you all right?

What's that noise? It's just my pacemaker.

I told him to get new batteries.

The pass is in the air and the cello leaps for it.

Oh my God, oh my God.

Call 911. What?

Call 911. Call 911 now!

Call 911 now!

Great protection from the drum.

First down.

Interception.

The 40. He crosses mid...

Is he...

At the ten... Touchdown!

All right! Nail that extra point.

See you tomorrow. Class dismissed.

Hey, you were really great.

I mean, the way you handled those guys was like magic.

Well, they're not so bad, but I did notice something unusual.

You don't appear to be on the class roll.

Your name is Jessie Davis, isn't it?

Yeah, well, those computers mess up all the time.

Are you really in this class, Jessie?

Not really, but I just kinda wanted to...

To check me out.

Yeah, I wanted to check you out. Bye.

Yeah, I have to get goin'. See ya.

I want to vote for the Eradicators.

Yes, that's the Eradicators, the band from Reagan High.

We have to teach those little degenerates a lesson.

We can't put the entire student body in detention hall, Dr. Vadar.

Why not? I can turn this whole school into a detention hall.

Tonight we institute RHSSS.

The RH what?

Reagan High Super Secret Security program.

My baby.

Just a few more hours to cast your vote

in Rock-TV's local hero contest.

So what are we doin' tonight?

Let's scope out the witch's house. What witch?

Oh, you mean the one from third period lunch, right?

♪♪

Completely out there.

Who did you say lives here?

Get out of here! Get away from our house!

Scum bucket starey-ass. Every night!

Yo, lady, calm down. We never even been here before.

Take a pill or something.

Slime bag.

See ya!

Oh. Oh.

All right.

Oh, Margaret.

Margaret.

No. Margaret, no. Why not?

Margaret, look, it's too bright. We better go.

Go? We have been going together for six months

and we haven't gone anywhere yet, Donovan.

I'm sorry, but we could get AIDS.

AIDS? We're both virgins, you idiot.

You got me out of bed for... What the hell is this?

We could be buying books for the library.

Books? Who needs books?

We have 10,000 volts of current.

Power up.

Power up. Power up.

Power up. Power up.

Oh my God. Aah!

You ever think of getting into another line of work, Roy?

Yeah.

Oh, I just love that Eradicator band. They're so cute.

Hey, hey, what do you think you're doing?

Hi. Hi.

I like it.

What?

The yard. Everything.

You makin' fun? No.

I really think it's cool.

What are you doing here?

You forgot your broom.

You wanna see the back yard?

It's even cooler than the front yard.

Come on. Come on.

Wow.

♪♪

Welcome to Penitentiary High.

Dr. Vadar's crazy.

Stand by to open the gate.

Stand by to open the gate.

You guys the Eradicators?

Yeah, who are you?

This is Screaming Steve, live with the winners

of Rock-TV's local heroes contest,

the Eradicators from Ronald Reagan High.

Here, reach out and touch this.

So you guys are gonna be partying

with rock superstars at their sold-out concert tonight!

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, that's right, that's great.

The Eradicators received the largest number

of call-in votes in the history of Rock-TV.

You guys are really local heroes. Well, you know, I...

Yeah, let's give them their big prize,

front-row seats to the concert of the decade.

How 'bout that? Yeah, that's great.

Hey! What do you think you're doing?

Ten seconds.

Ten seconds what?

Get your hands off me. I'm a star!

Detention hall. All of you.

Four days.

Slinky head.

You guys are creating some really bad karma here.

I don't believe this. This is totally uncool!

The Vice Principal of discipline has decreed that you shall serve

not less than four days in maximum security detention.

So sit down and shut up.

Gotta consider the cumulative earning power of each profession.

It's a big decision.

I mean, if I go to med school there's ten years

before I'll start making any real money.

Law school's only three years, but then you have to make partner.

MBA? MBA.

That's only two years and then straight to CEO.

Two hundred thou a year!

Oh my God.

God! This is a major life decision for me

and all you care about is sex.

I'm sorry.

Vadar, this is war.

The prom? Jessie, man, are you crazy?

Yeah, man. That prom is yuppie central.

They'll never let us play.

We gotta do it. Okay? That's it.

Trust me.

And how are we supposed to get past Vadar?

Eaglebauer.

Hi. We need to see Eaglebauer as soon as possible.

Animal, vegetable or...

Musical.

Musical. Yeah, it's an emergency.

Mr. Eaglebauer? There are some people here to see you.

Later, honey. Not now, all right?

Okay. You can go in and see him immediately.

No, no, no. I'm talking 2,000, not 200.

For 2,000 you can cut that in half.

Rabbits?

Hello. What planet are you orbiting, Juan?

I'm talking 2,000 flash-frozen frogs for Biology class.

Yes, frogs. Send them to the warehouse.

Tell them Eaglebauer sent you.

All right. The Eradicators.

My very favorite rock and roll band.

How's it going? Very good.

Except we got a little problem. Vadar.

Vadar, that square head from hell?

Ugh! Here, check this out.

Fake doctors' excuses down 70 percent.

Fake hall passes down 80 percent.

Test answers are totally unavailable.

That numbnuts is gonna bankrupt me.

Yeah, wow, I see that... Forget it.

Forget her. It's too depressing to even discuss.

So what can I do for the Eradicators?

We want to play the prom.

Great concept, but I thought you had been eradicated from all school activities.

Well, that's the problem.

We have to stop Dr. Vadar from destroying Rock and Roll High School.

I see.

I do know something of your work.

You're talented.

You're very talented.

But good talent needs good management.

I'll give you ten percent,

off the top, if you get the gig.

Twenty-five. Fifteen.

I keep the video rights.

Deal.

Yeah.

Miss Box, draw up a contract

for the Eradicators to play the prom.

At ease.

I want you to meet Qaddafi.

Nice doggie.

You wanna go for a walkie poo?

Good dog. Shut up!

Yes, baby. Nice baby.

Come on, come on.

Which one of you gentlemen wants to be in charge of this fine animal?

You take him. I'm allergic.

All right. There's six judges for the prom audition.

Get rid of Vadar, that leaves five.

Three of them will vote for you.

So with my incredible planning, Vadar will be out of there by 3:00,

which is when you guys are scheduled to audition.

So who did you put us down as on the audition list?

Wombat Vengeance.

Thought of that name myself.

That is the worst name I have ever heard of in my life.

Only a temporary necessity.

Now, I'm sure you guys are really hungry.

[Both] No, I'm okay.

Yeah, I could eat a ho...

Why don't you try this?

It's great.

Mangia, paisan.

Whoa.

You don't like it?

It tastes like barf.

Crap.

I got a thousand pounds of this stuff in the food service freezers.

Wait. What is it, Eaglebauer?

It's cheval. It's for summer school lunches.

It's French. It's very classy. Beaucoup de classe.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

Now, wait a minute.

What is that? Come on, tell me.

It's ho...

It's a hose? What are you saying?

It's horse, all right? But it's perfectly legal.

You cannot feed summer school kids horse meat.

The French love it.

That's fine. The French love it.

American kids do not eat Mr. Ed.

Whoa.

Qaddafi, no.

No! Qaddafi! Whoa, boy.

Oh, no.

Red Rover to base. Red Rover to base.

We got a major problem in hallway Charlie.

Get Vadar now.

Still there.

Where the hell is Mag at?

That was the Zillion Kisses band and the next band will be Wombat Vengeance.

Dr. Vadar?

Dr. Vadar, there's something going on...

Where's Mag?

Take these! Hey!

One, two, three, four.

Ten thousand volts. Big deal.

This'll teach you to mess with Eaglebauer Industries.

My security perimeter.

They've killed my baby!

Looky here, Dr. Vadar. It's a trap.

Someone strung fishing line across... Roy?

Yes, ma'am? Shut up.

Yes, ma'am.

Hi. Listen, I wanted to thank you

for voting for us at the audition.

Oh, who says I voted for you?

Well, you had to vote for us. Otherwise we wouldn't have won.

Well, you were the best.

Really?

Really.

Well then, since you think that I'm so wonderful and everything,

I was kind of wondering if there's any chance in the world

that maybe you'd consider going out to the movies

or maybe to a concert or, you know...

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You're asking me out on a date?

Kind of, yeah. Well, see, I think that you're everything

that I've ever really wanted in a woman.

Well, that's a good thing when you're a kid, to go out with...

Jessie, I'm a teacher. Teachers can't go out with students.

No, no, no, but I'm not a student.

What? Well, you see, you have to study to be a student.

I never study.

Wait. Hold on a second.

If you were 28 and I was 24 that wouldn't matter at all.

You don't give up, do you?

No. Never.

Drugs!

That's what it is. They're all on drugs.

Jones, Reginald. Jones, Reginald!

That's me.

You gotta be here when they call your name.

Sludge, Magnooson Sludge, Magnooson!

That's Magnuson. Magnuson, yeah.

Namrok, uh... Namrok, uh...

You got a first name, Namrok?

Namrok!

Namrok Namrok.

Namrok Namrok!

Namrok Namrok.

Mitchell, Waldo.

Mitchell, Waldo!

Hook it up close, boys. Hook it up close.

- Dale, wrasslin's on. - Oh, yeah?

Look at that.

And today we're presenting the grudge of the year,

Wicked Wanda and Apple Brown Betty.

Hey! This no my pee!

You're right. This is not my pee. Wait a minute.

I think you got my pee. No, no.

This ain't my ammonia.

Oh, this is... Wait.

Yeah, that's mine. Yeah, that's my pee.

Ew.

Mag!

Wha...

Sorry.

I thought your locker was in the main building.

Well, that one got filled up.

This is my other locker.

Oh. Well, you got a lot of neat stuff.

Do you want to go out?

To get something to eat?

With you?

We could just hang out.

Dr. Vadar?

We hate to disturb you, but we're really worried

about having the Eradicators play the prom.

The Eradicators playing the prom? That's impossible.

They changed their name to Wombat Venus, but it's still them.

I'm sure you wouldn't have voted for them if you'd been at the audition.

If the Eradicators play the prom, it won't be an upscale social occasion.

And photo opportunity. It'll be a total disaster.

Those rock and roll delinquents, they're dead meat.

You are so right, Dr. Vadar.

We need to improve standards here at Reagan High

and I can tell that you care a lot about standards.

Meet me in the parking lot at midnight.

And bring people who can keep their mouths shut.

Right, Dr. Vadar.

Shut! Sh... No, no, no!

Stop it, damn you!

So what food groups are onion rings?

Fat.

Definitely fat.

Tabatha, I think you're very cool, but I gotta tell you something.

The four basic food groups are not sugar, salt, fat and booze.

They're not? No, they're not.

Wow. Looks like Freddy's been here.

Yeah.

Hey, Jessie, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that yuck outside?

It's not our style, Marge.

It's not our style.

Good morning, Mr. McGree.

I've been hoping so much you kids could behave

and we could finish out the year as friends.

Guess you fellas forgot to clean up after yourselves.

This is a frame-up, Vadar, and you know it.

I could keep you rock and roll scum here another year

but the sight of you turns my stomach.

Instead, you will spend

the rest of the semester

in detention hall

and today cleaning up that mess outside.

Oh, and another thing.

You will not participate in the prom.

Goin' to the bathroom, boss.

What?

Hey, guys, check this out.

Look at the dumb jerk Mag out there sleeping.

Dr. Vadar is so mean. I love it.

Hell, Bob and I were the ones that got her to do something.

So, Whitney? Donovan and I helped too.

They'll never get that stuff off.

They're gonna be out there... For the rest of their lives.

They beat us at our own game.

Shit-o.

You know, who cares about this dumb prom anyway?

We've only got a couple more weeks of school left.

Maybe we should just forget the whole thing and graduate.

And let Vadar win?

Is this how you feel about it, Stella?

I don't know.

Right now all I want to do is go home and take a bath, all right?

Great. Great.

Jessie Davis, you're a pervert and a delinquent.

Detention hall, all of you. Goin' somewhere, boys?

Jessie Davis, you're a pervert. Dr. Vadar wants to see you.

Your band has been eradicated from Reagan High.

And another thing. You will not participate in the prom.

♪♪

Wake up! Jessie, you're alive.

Come on, stud.

Howdy, son.

I'm the yuppie-hatin', lower body-gyratin',

beanie weenie-eatin' Spirit of Rock and Roll!

And you Eradicators, you gotta play the prom.

That's impossible. There is no way.

Malarkey. You gotta save the school from the uncool.

Otherwise it's gonna be a black mark on your permanent record.

And it's gonna follow me throughout the rest of my life.

But how?

Get bodacious.

Wow.

Very intense.

The question at stake here is is this

or is this not Rock and Roll High School?

Now, let's take a minute and let's think

about all the important work we've done over the last four years.

The naked cheerleader photos.

The alligator in the swimming pool.

Spagnum's Volvo on top of the roof.

Now, this is work that any rock and roll high school would be proud of.

So my question to you is are we going to let

this important, creative work go down the drain?

Are we gonna let Vadar and the yuppettes take over now?

No way, man.

No way, man.

Cut the dramatics, Davis, and tell us the scam.

The scam is...

we are going to steal the prom.

Oh! I never knew it could be so wonderful!

Donovan is such a worry-wart all the time.

Whitney would rather make money than make out.

Oh!

Are we still on for Friday night, sweetums?

Pick me up at 7.

Believe me, this prom is gonna be a primo nookie opportunity.

Yeah, right.

Shh.

Class, class, class.

Four weeks ago, class, we investigated the mysteries

of our bisexual buddy the earthworm.

Today we enter dissection big time

with our more complex yet single-sexed...

Single-sexed friend the frog.

Now carefully raise your knife and slice down...

He is so gross.

Oh, I don't believe I'm doing this.

Whitney, stop!

Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick.

Hey, Whitney...

Oh!

I just love frog.

Want some?

What is going on?

Aaahh!

Yeah! Whoo!

Well, hello, ladies. Brad.

Come on!

Geez.

Cute undies, Donovan.

Yeah.

Oh, babe. Oh, sweetums.

Ooh, honey bunch.

Oh, yes, yes, oh, like that!

Is this the police department?

Oh, no.

My clothes.

I like it. Very nice.

They were right here.

My tie and... What did you do with them?

My cellular phone! Oh!

Get out of the car with your hands up!

I told you not to come out here. Everyone knows about this place.

My phone. I can't believe I lost my cellular phone.

Phone? Phone! Nobody cares about your stupid...

Oh my God, what?

What?

Gorgeous slave boy looking for discipline.

I've been very naughty. Will you teach me to behave?

That'll work.

That'll definitely work.

Number, please.

Open the pod bay doors.

Fire retros.

Your turn.

Hey, Roy, looky here.

Well, what do you know.

Zillion Kisses, right?

I have to tell you, your music has always meant so much to me.

You are very, very talented, really, very talented,

and good talent needs good management.

I was thinking maybe 25 percent off the top.

Look, man, we gotta get set up for the prom.

Prom? Prom. Prom.

It's right through there. You can set right up on the stage.

It's kinda dark in there, isn't it?

Vadar. Slashed the budget.

New concept: Twilight Zone prom.

Cool.

Watch your step.

All the way to the back.

Dale, I am your father.

Oh, yeah?

AAAH!

You know where I could find a phone?

I'm such a naughty boy. I locked my keys in my car.

And I really should be punished.

There's a phone in my office.

What time is it? I thought the prom started at 8.

Is it 8 yet?

Have a wonderful time.

Oh, Rita Mae, isn't it marvelous?

Yes, very nice, Mrs. Grossman.

Have a good time.

Jessie. Jessie, what are you doing?

Vadar'll go crazy when she sees you.

Don't worry about that.

Dr. Vadar will be making a very limited appearance here this evening.

I knew you were trouble the first time I met you.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Now...

You've been very, very bad, haven't you?

Oui, madame.

I want you to tell me just how bad

in detail.

Oui, beaucoup, madame.

Today's Friday, right? Yesterday's Thursday, today's Friday.

Yeah.

Hi, Mr. McGree.

Rita Mae.

You know, that band sounds very familiar.

Yeah, they got a great sense of rhythm. Let's dance.

Hi. Hi.

Wonderful time.

That doesn't sound like A Zillion Kisses.

Yeah, well, it doesn't look like them either.

That better not be who I think it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Ronald Reagan High School senior prom.

For some of us it's been a long time coming.

Where is Dr. Vadar?

She's lickin' his bosom.

So if you will direct your attention to the right side of the stage

and let the show begin.

Stop it! It's not really great! Turn it off! Turn it off!

AAAH!

I didn't mean to!

You slag, you slime, you slut!

I try to like all my students, but some are more fun than others,

if you know what I mean.

Come on, Bob, you wimp.

You're dead, man. You messed up.

Come on!

Hey, watch it!

Uh, what's up, Doc?

Get him!

Stop him. Stop him, you morons!

My God. She's gone totally insane.

Now she thinks she's Indiana Jones.

Jessie!

I'm calling the police.

Tabatha!

Get it. Got it.

Good!

Whoo! Yes.

No laughing. No laughing!

That's disgusting!

Dr. Vadar's a woman?

No laughing!

Stop laughing!

Bye!

That woman has no place in education.

Hey. Hey!

You were on it, man.

Isn't the prom in June?

Or is it May?

Fish, dude.

Whoa!

Teen scum.

Hey, look out!

Oh my God.

Drug scum.

No!

Yeah!

Bathtub scum.

Where's Tabatha?

Hi.

My God. She's going after Rita.

I've got an idea.

Me? No, you get the...

The other one! Get the other one!

Come on.

Kill. Kill. Kill!

Pick on somebody your own size,

Principal Scum.

Oh my God. Oh my God!

Let's get out of here.

Merde.

Have you seen Jessie?

Have you seen Jessie and Mag and everyone?

My God. She's nuked the school.

Tabatha!

You're okay.

Dale, the school blowed up real good.

Yep, and Dr. Vadar blowed up too.

It's amazing what a guy's gotta go through these days to get a date.

I hate you.

Sorry about the school, Mr. McGree,

but it really was Dr. Vadar's fault.

We probably needed a new one anyway.

Yeah, and the plumbing was all screwed up.