Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(rock music)

♪ You don't know how you use me ♪

♪ Deconstruct me and consume me ♪

♪ I'm all used up

♪ I'm out of luck

♪ I am starstruck

♪ By something in your eyes

♪ That is keeping my hope alive ♪

♪ Sick of myself when I look at you ♪

♪ Something is beautiful and true ♪

♪ World that's of me and the right ♪

♪ Hard to even want to try

♪ I'm beginning to think

♪ That you don't know

♪ I'll take a leap

- [Child] Trick or treat!

- Sarah the witch, I hate you.

(laughs)

- Grab me!

- Come on, let's do it again.

Let's do it again.

Come on, come on,

come on.

- Stop.

- Come on, I'll be your best friend.

- You already are.

- I'll be your bestest friend.

- It's not even a word, Joint English major.

- Sure, better,

best, bestest.

- That is so lame.

(rock music)

- That was the party, guys.

- Great!

- You're with Sarah?

- I ditched her.

- Oh no, you didn't!

- Girl, hi!

- We thought you hooked up with that tin man?

- That tin man's a woman, thank you very much.

- [Bob] You're welcome.

- Hey Beth, you want to hit

Georgetown before the bars close?

- Why are you getting undressed?

- I'm certainly not going out like this!

- It is like Halloween.

- Oh, who says GW is a safety school?

Hey, you wanna come with?

- We're beat.

- Beaten.

- Beatest.

- Bestest.

- Whatever.

- [Brendan] Come on, you don't

know what you're talking about.

- Oh please, they're like never gonna get together.

- I'm telling you, he likes Beth,

but he's just, you know,

playing dumb.

- Yeah, Eric isn't like,

you know, as out of it is he--

- Seems?

(laughs)

He's a stone.

Oh shit.

Oh man.

What the hell is in here?

Sleeping works better when you're lying down, Bob.

- Well, come on Uncle B.

Tell me a story, that always puts me to sleep.

- Oh,

one to put you to sleep, huh?

Oh man.

Let's see.

A long time ago.

- Yes.

- In a suburb far, far away,

lived an odd little boy with very large lips.

- Watch it there.

- Okay, Beth-O,

looks like you and me against the Marine Corps.

(Sarah cheering)

- Well, I think we're just gonna hang.

- Look, I'll come with you!

- Correction.

Make that, I'm just gonna hang.

- What's up with that?

- That the people in town made fun of him so much

that he couldn't get an ounce of sleep.

The end.

- That's pathetic.

- Well, you're the writer.

Embellish.

- Okay, all right.

This boy, the one with the lips,

he got so pissed off at the morons in town

that he decided to visit them each at home,

and give them all a big--

- Yeah, what?

- Bad.

- What?

- Wedgie!

(Brendan laughing)

(underwear ripping)

(chilled music)

(Brendan laughing)

- The kids are roughhousing again.

(yelling in Spanish)

- We're trying to have a little romance here!

(speaking in Spanish)

(Carol laughing)

(Brendan and Bob laughing)

(Brendan and Bob grunting)

- I won!

I can't believe it!

(Bob laughing)

♪ I think I love you

♪ I think I love you

♪ So what am I so afraid of

♪ I'm afraid that I'm not sure of ♪

♪ A love there is no cure for

♪ I think I love you

♪ Isn't that what life is made of ♪

♪ Though it worries me to say

♪ That I've never felt this way ♪

- Look, we've got lights,

tinsel, and all sorts of Christmas crackers.

- Carol said to get a tree.

- Well, I didn't know the lot closed at nine.

- Well, if you'd been there on time in the first place,

it wouldn't be a problem--

- We couldn't have carried it back with your arm anyway.

- My arm?

It's your fault that my arm is like this!

- Oh, that's really,

really good, Bob.

That's really good.

(Carol and Beth humming)

- Oh man.

- Okay, so?

What do you think?

- It's so lifelike.

- Oh, you hate it.

- No, no.

I love it, loving this tree.

- Oh good, okay.

Okay, where do I put the mistletoe?

- Someplace secluded with a little privacy.

- Like my room.

- There's less traffic on the beltway.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Tis the season to be jolly

♪ Don we now our gay apparel

- Earth to Bob!

- Hey.

- Hey-hey-hey!

Oh, this is not a Christmas face.

- I'm just ragged out from finals.

- You had two finals last week.

Just see something.

- He's nothing, he's having a good time,

like we all should be having a good time.

- Brendan's been hanging out with Sarah all night.

He hates Sarah.

- We all hate Sarah.

- I know, but it's just,

it's weird.

- Does this have something to do

with the you being in love with him thing?

- Does anybody else know?

- No, (laughs) but Sarah would kill you.

- I can only hope.

- Come on, Bob.

You know, you just need to get out more.

I hear that Tracks is a great place to meet guys.

- I don't want some generic guy.

- You better find one, 'cause it ain't gonna be Brendan.

- But it is!

Look, his room was right next to me and Matt last year,

and then we're in the same lit section.

This year we're roommates, it's like fate.

- Like a mistake.

Look, Bob,

you are a funny, talented guy.

And sooner than you think,

you're gonna meet that fucking prince...

Oh Bob.

(wind whistling)

(upbeat music)

(party goers chatting)

- Yes folks, it's freshman orientation.

- [Bob] What do they see in them?

- Virginity.

So, um,

is yours still intact?

- It's a little complicated.

- No.

No Bob, it's really not.

See, you just find the right girl,

or the right now girl, and just...

(laughs)

- Beth?

- Yeah?

- I have a crush on Brendan.

- [Sarah] Hey, you guys seen Brendan?

- Oh, that's funny.

We were just talking about him.

- Your point being?

- She has no idea.

- Oh, I've got a lot of bright ideas,

like going for guys who only date jail bait.

- You really want to know?

- Mm, I always want to know.

- Okay--

- Well Sarah, turns out that Bob here

would like to sleep with Brendan as well.

♪ Just like the sun, you're always turning ♪

- I hate it when Eric answers the phone, "Talk to me."

Like, what is that shit,

like he's hosting some college radio show?

I fucking hate that!

- What about Brendan when he's like, "We're out of food"--

- Oh, I know!

I know, like it's his food or something?

I know.

- Hey, what's up?

- [Beth] Oh hi, we're making fun of you.

- Good, good,

good, listen,

can you help me with the couch?

Wendy's a little drunk.

- Wendy's a little, a little drunk?

Beth!

- Yes Bob?

- We have a house guest!

- Fabulous, Wendy!

(sings) Well, who's tripping down the streets of the city?

- Come on, come on.

(Bob and Beth singing)

- What are they doing?

- Wendy, Wendy,

will you just cut it out?

(Bob and Beth singing)

Cut it out.

- Cut what out?

- I'm talking to you, lip man.

(Beth screaming)

- Get off of me.

(Wendy yelling and laughing)

- What the hell is going on?

(Wendy laughing)

- If I have to stop this party, there'll be hell to pay.

(Brendan grunting)

- Fight, fight,

fight, fight!

(Wendy laughing)

♪ Hold me in your arms

♪ Believe me

♪ When I'm loving you

- [Beth] Bob?

♪ I see your face and all my fear subside ♪

- Happy fucking Valentine's Day.

♪ When I'm loving you

♪ I lay my soul down on the line ♪

♪ I give everything

(bottles clanking)

(door handle rattling)

(Bob breathing heavily)

(upbeat music)

- Of course she objected a black wedding dress.

- It was crushed velvet!

- Oh yeah, well,

velvet.

- I made it myself.

- And you can probably sell it at the boutique

for two or three times as much.

- The idea of me strutting up the aisle

like some snowy white virgin is insane.

As I'm sure we'll be reminded,

we've been living together in sin for the past five years.

- Five and a half.

- Whatever.

(car horn honking)

- Carol's mom is going to flip--

- Sorry, lunch shift ran late.

- Whose car is this?

- It's my mom's.

So how's senator so-and-so?

- They've got me on constituent relations.

- Oh, I see.

Licking envelopes, huh?

- At least I get to meet a lot of cute guys.

- Sarah, Republicans as a rule are not cute.

(horn honking)

- [Sarah] Oh my God, that's Bob's boyfriend?

- Dearest, you've got to be strong.

- Don't do it.

- [Sarah] Who is she, she is beautiful?

- How can they do this to you?

- Oh, she's so lovely.

- No one in this bastard town will stand up

for a woman wrongly accused of kidnapping.

- [Sarah] I can feel it!

(cheers)

- He is such a screamboat.

- I can't believe Bob writes this trash.

- Hey, don't knock the trash.

- (giggles) So, how are the festivities shaping up?

- Barbara is dealing with all that crap.

- Why are you letting your mother plan the wedding?

- It's what moms do best.

- Don't you think that someday you'll regret not taking

a larger role in the most important day of your life?

- Um, no.

- [Barbara] Hey girls!

- [Sarah] Oh, hi Ms. Rivera.

- Hi Babs!

- Well, thank you so much for

coming by and watching the house.

- Oh, no problem at all.

It is such a thrill to be here for Carol's big weekend.

- I'm sorry we have to rush off like this,

but we have a three o'clock appointment at the seamstress.

- Hello, I am a seamstress.

- Chop-chop, no more nonsense.

Bye!

- Bye-Bye.

- Matt said he'd be willing to

take you around to some of the sites.

- Why can't I come to the Bachelorette party?

- You're not a bachelorette.

- I really think it's important for us

that I get to know all your friends.

- The Go-Go Boys are not my friends.

- Are you insinuating that I wanna--

- No, but they do.

- Aww.

- I don't know, Eric said Brendan

has some teaching workshop this weekend.

- I really was hoping to see him.

- Yeah, well,

I'm sure some of these guys have gotta be layable.

- This wedding is a celebration of our friends love,

not two for one night at the rat.

- Oh, come on.

like you're not gonna be on the prowl.

- A, I don't prowl,

and B, I won't be trying to reignite

some hopeless college flame out.

- Oh, Eric?

Oh, come on.

He's not exactly on my short list.

(phone ringing)

- Maybe, he is on the list.

Rivera residence?

Oh my God, really!

- Who is it?

- [Bob] Now look, it's the Clinique counter at Macy's.

- Just wait until you're 30.

- I can wait, thank you.

- You know what, Bob?

- What?

- I've been thinking.

- You know, I thought I smelled smoke.

- Haha.

Maybe we should consider making

this a little more permanent.

- What do you mean, like us getting--

- We could get one of those domestic partnership things.

- Yeah, we've only been going out for a year?

- Actually a year and 18 weeks.

- That's like a world record for you, I think.

- Come on, I'm trying to be serious here.

- You have to talk about this now?

Jesus Christ, it's almost like seven!

- Well, come on honey--

- I gotta run.

Okay, we'll talk later.

(upbeat music)

- Oh, thanks.

- So, you two all excited about the big event.

- Yeah, I feel like it's about time I settled down.

- Come on, y'all are just babies.

- I don't know, you know?

When I hit 25, I started wondering

what I was gonna do with my life.

- Oh, it was always your career.

- Oh, well,

sewing glasses at LensCrafters is more like a job.

- You know, when I was your age,

still discovering myself,

finding out what made Sterling Scott tick.

- And what was that?

- Showbiz.

- Oh, Bob doesn't make you tick?

- Bobby's a doll.

Best thing that happened to me in years.

You know, who knows?

We'll head on down the aisle someday.

- Oh really, that would be great!

You know Carol gets worried about Bob sometimes.

No offense, Sterling,

but it's a dangerous world out there.

- Bob and I have a very safe, monogamous relationship.

His wild years are over.

(dance music)

- Oh my God!

- Oh, hello?

I wanna play with him too.

- Honey, all it takes is dollar to dream.

- Yeah, to us both.

- Carol, will Barbara be joining us later?

- Oh, I stay out of the nuptial plans,

and mommy dearest stays out of here.

- If marriage is such a hassle, why bother?

- Taxes!

- She's joking.

- Have you seen the deductions to joint filing?

(Carol screaming)

- [Sarah] How much do I have to pay you to get off me?

- Oh God, if Brendan could see this.

- Are you so nervous to see him tomorrow?

- Brendan?

- Yeah, he called when we at your mom's.

- He's gonna blow off his workshop

and he's driving down with Eric.

- Isn't that great?

- Excuse me, excuse me.

Will you come over here please?

(Sterling snoring)

(Bob burping)

- For crying out loud.

- I thought you were asleep?

- [Sterling] You know I'm a light sleeper.

- So, how are the monuments?

- Monumental.

- [Bob] You like Matt?

- He seems very nice.

We had a long chat about marriage.

- Oh, you and Matt?

Interesting.

Carol would kill you, but--

- Is everything a joke to you?

Hm, a good line?

- Oh, it's grumpy Sterling night,

giving grumpy line readings.

- Just take an Advil and go to sleep.

- [Bob] He said grumpily.

- Advil and sleep!

- Okay, but I just have one little

minor sort of like question.

Earlier tonight, were you like proposing to me?

- [Sterling] "Was" being the key word?

- What, so the offer's been pulled?

- [Sterling] You said you didn't wanna talk about it.

- Look, I had to go to the thing.

- Look, Bob,

if you're not ready to get serious and make a real,

honest commitment to this, then fine,

but I'm reaching a point in my life where I want someone--

- I accept.

- You?

Really?

- Yeah.

- Oh Bob, it'll be brilliant.

A tasteful little ceremony at city hall, a champagne brunch.

- Whoa, whoa.

- Maybe we'll get those little--

- Honey, let's not tell anybody else about our plans yet.

Okay?

No, because I don't wanna,

you know, I don't wanna upstage the current bride and groom.

Sterling?

Promise.

- No.

- You're terrible.

- I'm just written that way.

(comical music)

- Come on, let me borrow them.

- You're the one who said no autographs.

- These fluorescent are killing me.

- Remember what happened the last time

I went shopping without the protection?

- Hey, what's up man!

- It's...

- Oh, but he's forgotten us already.

- Oh wait, lemme guess.

Eric and Brendan.

- Bob's been telling stories again.

- No, he's been studying the photo albums.

This is Sterling Scott.

- Duh!

- So you guys staying here at the hotel?

- Well, we're like majorly homeless.

- They were all outta rooms.

- Hey, why don't you stay with us?

- Well, we don't wanna like barge in.

- Yeah, it could be a little cramped.

I mean...

- Don't be ridiculous, it's a huge room.

Two beds.

- Sounds great.

- Great, super.

(choral music)

- But they really come very highly recommended--

- Excuse me, what the hell is this?

- It's so people know which is the bride's side.

Now look, I want to go over tomorrow's itinerary with you.

- What itinerary?

- Let's see, we've gotta wake up at 9:00 AM

since your ex father wants to take us to breakfast.

God knows why--

- He's not my ex father.

- Hairdresser gets to the house at 10:15, so--

- This is insane!

Mommy, I do my own hair.

- Don't interrupt, dear.

Next, let's see.

The makeup artist at noon.

Oh, that's just when the photographer arrives!

He can get some pictures of you getting made up.

- Aww, rare photos.

- Not as rare as me in church.

- What's that, my dear?

- Oh, just joking around a bit,

Father, it's nerves.

(Priest laughing)

- Well, you two are taking a big step tomorrow.

A lifelong journey that is an expression of God's love,

as embodied in your compassion and caring for one another.

Well, let's go do the Lord's work.

- Look, I asked Matt if it was okay to give you my reading.

- Oh no, you don't have to do that.

- No, it's fine.

I mean, I have so much to do as maid of honor as it is.

Matt said it would be okay.

- Alright.

- You know, Matt's really glad you showed up.

- Let me get a drag, huh?

- You don't smoke?

- I picked it up at school.

- So what do you teach anyway?

- Freshman English.

- I bet they got a crush on you.

- A couple of the girls always ask for extra credit.

- No boys?

- Oh my God, Brendan!

You look great.

- Sarah, you look so Republican.

- Thank you.

I'm working for this really cool senator.

- As opposed to those uncool senators.

- Hey!

- Hi, kiss.

- [Sarah] So where's Sterling?

- Oh, he's back at the hotel.

He had to sew Eric's pants for tomorrow.

- What was wrong with his pants?

- Apparently they're a little too baggy

to be considered formal wear.

- He sews too?

- How did you lure this catch?

- What?

- Bob's not a bad looking guy himself.

- Come on.

You promised him more scenes, right?

- All I promised was me.

- Oh, catch me before I swoon.

- She hasn't had much luck with that approach.

- Hey!

- Stop it.

- The second reading is from the first

letter of Paul to the Corinthians.

"Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful.

It's not arrogant or rude."

- Ow!

- Did you forget your Prozac?

- They do this at every goddamn wedding.

- "Love does not insist on its own way.

It does not rejoice it wrong, but rejoices in the right."

- Old flames never die

- Like you and Eric.

- Bzz, disqualified!

- Oh please, you've always had a thing for him.

- Correction, Eric lusted after me,

but sadly I had to spur his advances because,

well, he is a himbo.

- A what?

- A male slut.

- And you are?

- Not a male slut.

(upbeat music)

(Carol laughing)

- (laughs) You know, when I was raising Carol,

I used to watch all the soaps.

- Oh!

- Carol's father, on the other hand,

you'd be lucky if you could get him

to sit still for the Lawrence Welch Show.

I mean, the man just does not know how to relax.

Unlike myself.

So I wouldn't bother you to ask for autograph?

- Oh well, I--

- To Barbara, all my love,

affection, and endless devotion,

Dirk.

- It's Sterling.

- Whatever.

(glass clinking)

(guests shushing)

- We just wanted to say a few words.

- We just want to thank all of our

friends for being here tonight.

- Also, we want to thank the four people

who really made this whole thing possible.

Because without them, Carol and I wouldn't even be here.

Our parents.

(guests cheering)

Mom, come on!

- So what kind of a name is Sterling anyway?

- Well, it used to be Scott Sterling,

but he switched it when he got into acting

because he thought it would sound more--

- Hunky!

- Can we all please stop obsessing about Sterling?

- Here, here.

- What's the next stop, Bob?

- Friday night Track.

(Beth cheering)

- Oh no, we are not going to a gay club.

- Bob, Sarah's like fag-bashing now.

- I'm so not fag-bashing.

Every time we went in college, I was the only woman.

- But Tracks is mixed on Friday nights.

- Sure, gays and lesbians.

- Lesbians?

Quickly, let's away!

- Guys, ugh.

♪ We don't have to talk no more ♪

♪ That's just what the music's for ♪

♪ We don't have to talk no more ♪

♪ Tonight, that's what the music's for ♪

♪ Tonight, tonight

- Have another beer.

- How many is that now, like five?

- So what!

We used to pound them, remember?

- I remember.

- And what can I get for you?

- Um, a beer?

Two, two Buds.

- My treat.

- Well, I guess I should go out with you more often.

(Bob laughing)

- To me coming down to New York.

- Uh-huh.

- What?

- You've just been saying that for like five years now.

- Well, this time I mean it.

- Uh-huh.

- What?

- Oh my God, I need some protection out there.

Where's Beth?

- She's in the can.

Hey, could you tell them I went to score some Mary Jane?

- Who?

- Hey!

- Hi.

- Where's Eric?

- He said he had to go meet some girl.

- Fantastic.

- What do you do for fun in Boston?

- Nothing, I don't get out much anymore.

- What, is this the new Brendan?

- I don't know, the whole weekend routine is tired.

The club is such a meat market.

- Well you should try meeting somebody

outside the club scene, you know?

Well, that's where I met Sterling!

- Yeah, well,

actually I was dating someone recently.

Someone from school.

- Oh!

Robbing the cradle again, huh?

(Bob laughing)

- No, another teacher.

But I mean, I don't know.

It didn't really go anywhere.

- Why not?

- We had fun sex and all, but I mean,

afterwards it's hard, you know,

to find something you can talk to.

- What do you mean?

- You know, someone to stay up with all night,

just bullshitting about bad TV shows or good novels.

- Well,

you gotta be persistent, right?

You can't give up.

Sterling wasn't the first guy I met.

- I know.

- There must be plenty of girls that want to date you.

- Dates, yes.

Relationships, no.

- [Brendan] I don't want to hear it anymore!

- Sarah was hounding you all night--

- My God, deja vu all over again.

- Deja vu.

- Yo, yo,

what was the deal with Beth, man?

- Yo, man,

we're having a time, right,

then she gets all pissy at me 'cause I was smoking.

- Oh, that's real weird.

- Yo, man,

I better not get stuck with it tomorrow night, man.

I want to get laid, man!

- [Bob] Shh, shh.

(Eric giggling)

(Bob burping)

- Oh, for crying out loud!

- Whoa, it's the boy wonder.

- What the hell happened to you?

- Oh God, I just signed a hundred

of those stupid little bracelets.

- He didn't sign my bracelet.

- But I couldn't find you guys.

- [Bob] Well, we weren't that hard to find.

- [Brendan] We had the only women in the joint.

- You did!

- Like I had a choice?

She was all over me.

- Please, the bartender--

- [Sterling] Could we cut the gossip here,

people, and get some sleep?

- He's a little grumpy.

- We'll all be a little grumpy if we don't get some rest.

(tense music)

- [Eric] Goodnight Sterling.

- [Sterling] Goodnight Eric.

- [Brendan] Goodnight Job boy.

- [Sterling] Oh, for crying out loud!

- Dear, this is throwing off my whole schedule.

- [Carol] Good.

- We're expected at church in less than an hour.

- Hey mom, just slip a Valium under the door.

- Oh great, Father Paulson,

this is my bride.

This is my bride on drugs.

Any questions?

- Oh, Bob!

- Is she still in there?

- Two hours and counting.

- [Barbara] Carol, Bob's here.

- Here, take a seat.

How about we start with a pineapple facial wash?

- What's with the makeover?

- We're getting old, Bob.

- We're 26, Carol.

- And 27 in a month, and 30 in the few years,

and the next thing you know--

- Oh, I see.

A little nervous about the wedding.

- What wedding?

- Look, marriage doesn't accelerate aging.

I have scientific proof.

- I don't want proof, I want more wrinkle cream.

(dramatic music)

- No!

- Shouldn't you be getting dressed?

- Yeah, I'm waiting for Dirk to finish up in the John!

- Five more minutes.

- I cannot believe that Bob puts up with this guy.

He could barely stand sharing a room with you.

- Sterling puts out.

- [Carol] Think about it, Bob.

What if you and Sterling were getting hitched?

- Oh, we sort of are.

- Nobody gets sort of married, Bob.

- I know, I guess we're kind of engaged.

- Kind of?

- Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you know,

Sterling is great.

He's sexy, he's smart,

sweet, he's great.

Of course we'll still have to move in together.

- Wait a minute, you're not even living together?

- No, we have totally different schedules.

I mean, his calls at eight,

I don't have to be until like noon or something.

- Wait, you won't marry him 'cause he wakes up too early?

- Well, it's not that I won't marry him,

I just need time, you know,

to think about it.

It's a big situation to get into.

It's what a relationship is...

What are you doing?

- Service starts in an hour and I look like hell.

- You're going through with it?

- Yeah, yeah.

We've been living together for a few years, yeah.

We had a good thing going.

Matt's great,

I mean, comparatively.

- [Eric] It's open!

- [Sarah] You look amazing.

- It's so girly.

- Ugh.

Oh my God, don't we look handsome today?

- Not as beautiful as you two young ladies.

- Give it a rest, I've got a hangover this big.

- Eric's not wearing any clothes.

- Brendan, I'm not wearing any clothes.

- Please, Eric,

one of her is enough at this hour.

- Beth, darling,

some pictures?

I just love your tie.

- Okay, smile.

Very nice.

- Thank you.

(bridal march playing on organ)

- This is the word of the Lord.

- [Congregation] Thanks be to God.

- For the second reading, I would like to read

a passage from one of Carol's favorite novels.

Kate Chopin's "The Awakening."

Edna, a married woman,

has been having an affair with an artist named Robert,

and discusses the situation with her good friend,

Mademoiselle Reisz.

(coughs)

"Why," said Edna,

"Do you suppose a woman knows why she loves?

Does she select?

Does she say to herself,

here is a distinguished statesman

with presidential possibilities.

I shall proceed to fall in love with him,

or I shall set my heart upon this musician,

whose fame is on every tongue."

"Edna," said Mademoiselle Reisz,

are you in love with Robert?"

"Yes," said Edna.

It was the first time she had admitted it,

and a glow overspread her face, blotching it with red spots.

"Why," said Mademoiselle.

"Why do you love him when you ought not to?"

"Why?" said Edna.

"Because his hair is brown and grows away from his temples,

because he opens and shuts his eyes,

and his nose is a little out of drawing,

because he has two lips, and a square chin,

and a little finger which he can't straighten

from having played baseball in his youth."

Mademoiselle laughed and said,

"Because in short, you do."

And these are the words of Kate Chopin.

- Thanks be to God.

- I, Carol Anita Gonzalez,

take Matthew Edward Lynch To be my husband.

- To love and to honor.

- To love and honor.

- In sickness and in health.

- In sickness and in health.

- Till death do us part

- Till death do us, whatever.

(choral music)

(congregation clapping)

(classical music)

- [Sarah] So, find any eligible bachelors yet?

- I think these gentlemen are a bit more your speed.

- Anyone seen the food yet?

- Hey, at least there's an open bar.

- Hey, who wants to be really nice and get us some drinks?

Beth?

- Eric?

- Sarah?

- Brendan.

- Okay, y'all.

Everyone say safe sex!

- [Group] Safe sex!

- Alright, that was great everybody.

Could we just try one with the bride

and groom next to mom and pop?

- Say safe sex, dad.

- It might offend your mother.

She never liked it safe or otherwise.

- The rare times I got it.

- [Photographer] That was great.

- Oops.

- Hey, what can I get you?

- Two, four beers.

Four Buds.

- Marky, scotch on the rocks.

Nice reading.

I'm partial to Carson McCullers myself.

You ever read "The Ballad of the Sad Cafe"?

A wonderful book.

The beloved always tortures the lover.

Aunt Alice, Matt's relation.

- Brendan, ex-roommate of the Maid of Honor.

- Oh, if you say so.

Thanks Sir, here.

Don't spend it all in one place.

(Alice laughing)

- It was a beautiful ceremony.

I especially loved the little ribbons on the pews.

- What'd you think of the reading?

- Could have done without Brendan's little stunt.

- It made Carol happy.

You know, that's all I can ask for.

- Aren't you sweet.

You know, I really like the idea of a themed reception.

If we get married in December,

maybe we can have little Christmas trees for centerpieces.

- You mean you and Bob?

- I, oh no--

- You're gonna do it.

Hey, this calls for a celebration.

- I shouldn't, it goes right to my gut.

- Ah, with your build.

Here, a toast to the grooms.

- God, it must be so much easier

seeing him again now that he has a boyfriend.

- Different.

- I think Bob thrived on the drama

of that whole thing, you know?

- Well, it wasn't all Bob's fault.

- Oh please, like you led him on?

Besides, that's all in the past and now it's--

- Now what?

- I don't know.

You seem different.

(Sarah giggling)

Older, wiser,

sexier.

(Sarah giggling)

- Sarah, I--

- What?

We're old friends.

We can be honest with each other, right?

- Pretty big crowd, huh?

- Yeah, seriously.

- I'm Celia,

Carol's younger, unmarried sister.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.

♪ When I'm close to you

♪ When I look into the ocean of light ♪

♪ I see you

♪ And everything you do

(glasses clinking)

- [Barbara] Aw, that's a nice one.

Oh, let's get them kissing.

Come on!

(glasses clinking)

- Carol, something weird is going on.

- Oh, that word.

- Brenda has been flirting with me.

- Please Bob, I'm trying to eat.

- He bought me beers at Tracks, and tonight he's--

- He's being nice, and you're being dramatic.

- I'm not being dramatic.

- Whatever, there's no way that it's weird.

- Not even the log?

- I worked a lot of paloozas for

a few years right after school,

and then I went to Boston,

and I started managing a couple of bands there.

- Boston is so cool.

- Especially in the winter.

- So then Bob told me that my first

hospitalization was his idea.

Thought it could strengthen my character.

Isn't that sweet?

- [Brendan] Bob's always been a romantic.

- So then I started dropping by

the writing office all the time,

you know, leaving little gifts for him.

Candy bar, flower from props,

my head shot.

♪ Give my world to you

♪ It's all for you

♪ It's true

♪ You're the bright side of the moon ♪

♪ When the night falls

♪ I just think of all the things you do ♪

- Hey.

- Hey, thanks.

Cheers.

- [Brendan] They look good together.

- They seem very happy.

- Yeah, I always thought they were made for each other.

- No one thought they were made for each other.

(audience clapping)

- [Eric] Yeah!

(jazzy music)

- [Brendan] And what about you two?

- Things are great.

Yeah, he's just--

- [Bob And Brendan] (in unison) Great.

(Brendan chuckling)

- Yeah, he seems to really like you.

- Yeah, things are getting pretty serious.

- Really?

- Yeah, it's kind of weird though.

- Right.

- But good kind of weird.

- Oh.

♪ You say hello

- This band my mom got is like majorly lame.

- Yeah.

We gotta do something about that.

(Celia laughing)

- Fell in love with a fly ball,

after the war, he moved back to Florida,

and I stayed right here in DC.

We bump into each other at his buddy's weddings,

but nothing ever come of it.

He married some dreadful girl from Tallahassee.

The rest is ancient history.

But how about you, you got a gal?

- Well, I used to,

but I don't think she's too crazy about me these days.

- Oh, does she know that you are nuts about her?

- Not a clue.

- Oh Jesus, Joseph and Mary,

speak up!

- You know, it's hard for me to talk about these things.

- You kids nowadays, you talk and talk a romance to death.

You gotta take the bull by the horns,

and grab her sweet little face and...

- Kiss her?

- On the lips,

honey, and dip.

- [Barbara] I really like the cones.

(guests cheering)

- Let's just cut this cake.

- Now make sure you cut a straight line, dear.

- Did you see that?

- What?

- Brendan's coming and flirting with me.

- Oh no.

- I'm serious.

- And I'm scared, Bob,

you've been writing for that soap too long.

- I'm not making it up.

- Even if he is, which he isn't,

who cares?

I mean, you've got Sterling,

and that's a pretty great consolation prize.

- Yeah, I know.

But sometimes even with Sterling,

I feel like I'd want to go for a brand new car.

- One more chance at the showcase showdown of love.

- You know, give the big wheel one more spin,

to see if for once I'm lucky, not just practical.

- Bob, I'd go for practical.

- Nice.

- They always tend to overbid in the first round.

- Here's another, Pops.

- That's very takey, what you call it?

- Iced tea.

- Long Island style.

- Remember?

- No!

- It was a week before finals.

- Oh God, the night I broke my wrist.

- Oh, you were passed out in the bunk,

and Sarah was yanking your arm trying to get you out.

- I wasn't trying to bother anybody.

She has to go pull me up out of there.

- I think she was trying to eliminate the competition.

- Yeah, well,

if I hadn't been faking the whole thing

to begin with, it wouldn't have happened.

- Wait!

You weren't passed out?

- No, of course not.

I heard about what you guys were gonna do with me.

The whole thing.

- Why didn't you say anything?

- Oh, you know,

it's too embarrassing.

- More so than when you tried to hit on me?

- (laughs) No.

When I got up in your bed,

I started having this,

you know, like fantasy thing.

You know, Sarah would leave the room,

and you'd just get into bed with me,

and I didn't even care I was there.

Like, it was the most natural thing for me to be there,

sleeping next to you.

Brendan, I never wanted to sleep with you.

I just wanted to sleep with you.

God, I was so fucked up.

- You weren't so bad.

- Yeah, I was.

I was a walking emotional car wreck.

- Hey, that's an oxymoron.

- Hey, I was a moron.

Period.

- Hey, you guys.

What's going on?

- Nothing.

- Nothing.

- How about a dance then?

- Okay.

- Excellent.

♪ How we gonna get back to love ♪

♪ How we gonna get back

(drums crashing)

(dance music)

♪ I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream ♪

♪ Like all at once I wake up

♪ From something that keeps knocking at my brain ♪

♪ Before I go insane

♪ I pull my pillow to my head

♪ And spring up in my bed

♪ Screaming out the words I dread ♪

♪ I think I love you

♪ This morning I woke up with this feeling ♪

♪ I didn't know how to deal with ♪

♪ And so I just decided to myself ♪

♪ I'd hide it to myself

♪ And never talk about it

(Alice laughing)

- Alright, let's dump the beer and do love.

- Getting the help plastered again?

- Oh, nothing better to do.

I lost my partner!

You know, it seems that he and Sarah

have had a tumultuous romantic past.

I had little heart to heart and I set him straight.

- Well, glad you could help.

Excuse me.

(Bob whistling)

- Hey!

What are you doing in here?

- Checking the plumbing.

- Oh.

Wise guy, huh?

So I thought Sterling doesn't drink?

- He doesn't.

Get it?

- A joke.

- Hardly.

- So I think Sarah's really got it in for me tonight.

- See, told you.

- We were talking about Valentine's Day.

- Don't you think that's rushing things a bit?

- No, back at school.

- Oh.

- Bob, I just...

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened that night.

I acted like a total jerk.

- Yep.

- You don't have to agree with me.

- Apology accepted.

Now let's get back to the reception.

- Wait a minute, that's it?

- Brendan, it's no big deal anymore.

- But I thought that you said that it was?

- Of course, it was!

You were my best friend.

- Well, as they say,

I mean, if you can't fall in love with your best friend,

who can you fall in love with?

- Who said that?

- Me.

- Hey guys, what's up?

Oh.

Oh, okay.

So I'll catch you guys on the dance floor, dancing.

Later.

- He's gotta cut down on that stuff.

- Anyway, about this whole sorry thing.

- What thing?

- I don't know, I just,

lately I feel really awful about what happened that night.

- It was my fault, I was relentless.

- Actually, it was kind of cute.

- What are you?

- I'm saying I'm sorry.

- Wait a minute.

Beth put you up to this, right?

What do you, is this,

it's a joke, right?

- It's not supposed to be funny.

- It's not!

(toilet flushing)

- You seen Brendan?

- Yes.

No.

Well, sort of.

Like why?

- In English?

- He's in the men's room, but you can't go in there.

- I'm a woman, Eric.

- Yeah, well good,

'cause you seriously wouldn't want to.

- Is he in there with someone?

- Beth!

- [Sarah] He's in there with Beth.

- Sarah, hi.

- I didn't know you smoked.

- Times change, people change.

Change is good.

- Need a light?

- I can light it myself.

- Bob, I've known for a while.

- You knew in college?

- I just didn't know I knew, you know?

- No.

- I wanted to tell you before this weekend, I did,

but I thought a phone call would've been awkward.

- Oh, and making out in the men's room is so not awkward.

- Well, if you weren't moving around so much.

- You think this is funny?

- It's mildly amusing.

Look, I was confused back then.

- Tell me about it.

- Come on, Bob.

What's past is past.

- You know, exactly.

I'm not gonna relive the whole thing,

'cause we're not talking about this, we're drunk.

- We're a little buzzed.

- Look, I don't want to.

Brendan, I don't care if you date men,

or women, or Sarah.

We're friends, okay?

- The bestest.

- Brendan, just don't confuse college with real life.

- [Beth] Oh my God,

- Bob, we just heard the news.

- [Bob And Brendan] (in unison) You did?

- Sterling told us you got engaged!

- Why didn't you tell us, you old dog?

- Gay weddings are so cool.

You could have a totally kitschy reception.

Or a small, intimate dinner party?

(jazz music)

(Sterling laughing)

(Sterling cheering)

- Fate.

You said you wanted to get married?

- Yeah, and the next thing you know,

it'll be on the cover of People Magazine.

- Well, my publicist wouldn't let us do that.

- That's not the point.

How do you expect me to feel about marriage

when my best friend is throwing away

the rest of her life at the ripe old age of 26?

- Whoa.

Is that what this whole last year has been, huh?

A waste, like I'm some piece of garbage that you've used,

and now you're just gonna throw me away like trash?

- Jesus, Sterling,

you sound like the show.

- Oh, I get it.

You've just been using me for what I'm worth,

dating me 'cause I'm some hunk.

- Well, maybe you've been dating me

because I'm a writer who gives you good scenes.

- You always put me in the hospital!

- Look, can you please explain to me what the big rush is?

- We're getting old, Bob.

- We?

Sterling, I'm sorry.

- I told you my real age because

I thought you really cared about me.

Not 'cause I'm some star,

but 'cause I'm Scott Sterling.

(Sterling sobbing)

- He's a lot heavier than he looks on TV.

- Am I on TV?

- No, show's over for tonight.

- I hope it was a good show.

- Did we lose Celia and Eric?

- I don't know, they're scoring weed somewhere or something.

- Okay, after party in the bridal suite!

- But it's your wedding night?

- Thanks for bulletin.

- You kids go ahead, it's nappy time for Sterling.

- Remember, Advil and sleep.

- Sad villain sheep.

(Celia and Eric coughing)

(overlapped chatting)

- This is mine, whoopee!

- A neck brace!

- I don't get it?

- Because, for the morning after.

Get it?

- You are so warped.

- I know, but you love me!

- [Eric] I can't find your mixed tape.

- Wait, wait.

Don't start the drinking games without me.

- My wedding, I'm gonna get this DJ,

and I'm gonna set him up in the woods

and I'm gonna have like this major rave.

- Why don't you two join the party?

- No, we're like,

we're eating.

Duh.

(Celia and Eric laughing)

- You guys are just gonna stand around and giggle all night,

you might as well get a room.

- My room's just down the hall.

- Bye, later.

- Well, hi.

(Beth giggling)

- Well, I'm gonna go crash.

Are you coming?

- No, I'll hang out for a while.

- Okay.

- Goodnight, Bob.

(dance music)

- Gilligan's Island game on acid.

- [Sarah] What?

- Gilligan's Island game on acid, it's very good.

Okay, what I do is I tell you the names

of two people that we know.

Brendan, it's fun.

And then you have to say who you would

rather be stuck with on a desert island.

- [John] On acid?

- That is sick.

- It's good!

Okay, I'm gonna start.

I will start the game.

Sarah, Eric or Matt?

- Oh, I take Matt over that any day.

- Oh, thanks for the compliments.

- Okay, now you go.

Sarah, go.

Sarah.

- Carol, Carol,

Carol.

Your mom or your dad?

- I'm not even gonna answer that.

- Brendan, Sterling or Sarah?

- Duh!

- Bob?

- I got locked out.

- Uh-oh, it's a college flashback weekend.

- Sterling must have passed out, I need your key.

- Eric has it.

- Woo, an all nighter in the bridal suite.

- No, why don't you just stay with us?

- Oh, let's not and say we did.

- Oh, maybe the Height in Bethesda has some room?

- No, Bob,

we have two rooms and the couch opens up.

- You sure we won't be in the way?

- Sure I'm sure.

- Congratulations again.

- You have a wild night, you guys.

- Do everything I would do!

- Beth, she's married.

She can't sleep around.

Sure you don't wanna have a sleepover?

- Your room's kind of crowded.

- Live the fantasy at room 905.

- Sarah, don't confuse college with real life.

- [Celia] Breathe.

And visualize.

- I see a babe on the floor.

- You have to take tantra seriously,

or else you will never reach the point of spiritual release.

(Celia sighing)

- Tah-da!

- Excuse me, but that's our bed.

- Not tonight.

- She unless she wants a threesome.

(Beth laughing)

- They could have found a room somewhere.

- I'm not gonna throw them out at 1:00 AM.

- It's our wedding night!

- Oh really?

- Oh, honey.

Sarcasm is so romantic.

- Maria.

Matt, please.

I'm so exhausted.

Can we discuss this some other time,

like our anniversary or something?

- What anniversary?

- What are you doing?

- Going to bed.

- Well, we have beers.

You don't want a beer?

- It's late, we gotta be up for Carol's brunch.

- Come on, we'll play quarters,

who gets the bed.

- We both get the bed.

What are you doing?

- I'm making my bed.

- Why don't you sleep here?

- Because, I don't know,

I like sleeping on the floor.

- Bob, if you want to be friends.

- Like at the reception friends?

- Look, things hadn't been working out for me,

so I thought you and I, you know,

could pick up where we left off.

- Oh, like Valentine's Day round two.

- Don't worry, Bob.

I'm not gonna try anything.

♪ On your own, far away from home ♪

♪ There doesn't seem to be a friend when you're alone ♪

♪ People stare

♪ You wonder if they care

♪ So you turn your back on someone with love to share ♪

♪ Try to see, it's gotta be

♪ Loving one another is the only possibility ♪

♪ So when you're down and losing ground ♪

♪ Don't get to thinking love can't be found ♪

♪ Hey, stop

♪ Stop, look around

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Stop, stop

♪ And turn around

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Hey you, it's nothing new

♪ Love will be around no matter what you do ♪

♪ Or will you try every alibi

♪ And fool yourself some more, then wonder why ♪

♪ So try to see, it's gotta be

♪ When you turn your back on love you miss the opportunity ♪

♪ And once again, you're at a dead end ♪

♪ With nowhere to turn without a friend ♪

♪ Hey, stop

♪ Stop and look around

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Stop, stop

♪ And turn around

♪ Somebody wants love you

♪ Somebody wants to love you.

♪ Hey, stop

♪ Stop and look around

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Stop, stop

♪ And turn around

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Hey, stop

♪ Stop and look around

♪ Somebody wants to love you

♪ Stop, stop

♪ And turn around

- Hey, wake up.

- Go away.

- Get up.

- Whoever heard of a brunch before two?

- Hurry up, Mrs. Lynch.

- Oh, if you call me that one more time.

- Better get used to it.

Mrs. Lynch?

- Shh.

I forgot my key.

(Brendan groaning)

- Oh no.

- Morning.

Oh wow, I've never done that before.

- Look, can we please try not making this

any worse than it already is?

- Are we making things better?

- Look Brendan, what happened last night?

It happened.

- I thought that's what you wanted?

- Aren't you dating a teacher or something?

- I was, but we broke up because of you.

- A little more information than I needed to know.

- Well, he said I had issues.

- Hello!

- I've changed, thank you.

- Well, why haven't you told anyone how much you've changed?

- I told you.

- And then slept with me.

I wouldn't try that with Eric.

- Oh, Eric knows.

- He what?

(elevator bell dinging)

(door knocking)

- [Sterling] Okay boys, rise and shine.

- Come on, get dressed.

- (laughs) Let me guess.

You've fallen and you can't get up.

(door knocking)

- Coming!

What am I gonna do?

- What, other than being honest?

- Now you're Joe Honesty all of a sudden?

(door knocking)

- Bobby?

Oh, honey.

- I slept on it wrong last night.

- [Sterling] I'm so sorry I locked you out.

- Accidents happen.

- [Sterling] You're still mad about last night.

- Last night?

- I promise I will keep my big mouth shut.

We'll talk all about our plans back in the city.

- So, Bob tells me you two are tying the knot?

- Yes, and you're invited.

Bring Sarah if you like.

- Hey, maybe we can have a double wedding?

- That's a fabulous idea.

What are you saying, you guys,

you're not even dressed, it's almost noon?

- Why don't you go ahead and we'll meet you there.

- Okay, do I get a kiss or what?

- Oh, oh.

- Ow!

- I'm sorry.

- Do you think they had sex?

I don't think they had sex.

- Beth, I don't know why you're obsessing about this.

- And what is with her hair?

- I think I like purple.

- Please.

- Hi.

- Hey guys, good morning.

- Not for me.

- What, is she a screamer?

- Could we give Dan a ride--

- Don.

- Sorry, Don,

Don a ride home?

- What happened to your car?

- She lost the car keys.

- I didn't lose them, I simply can't find them.

- You know what, you guys,

we're running really late for this brunch thing, so.

- His apartment's right on the way, Eric.

- Come on, Pooky Bear.

It's really no biggie.

(classical music)

- The caterer said he was supposed to be here at 12 o'clock,

and it's nearly five after it and he hasn't shown up yet.

- Here, hun.

It'll calm your nerves.

- (laughs) Look at you guys.

Couch of the living dead.

- Yo, like when's chow time?

- We've got the munchies already?

- Hey, where's Bob and Brendan?

- They're probably having a little afternoon delight.

- What's that's supposed to mean?

- Well, they did sleep in the same bed.

- Really?

- Oh, please.

Can we stop with all the college reruns?

You know, we're getting a little old to constantly

be rehashing what we did when we were 20.

- I love that episode when your sister's fiance

sabotaged your car and it went over the cliff.

- God, I was in the hospital for two months.

- Yeah, your hospital scenes are my favorite.

- Why?

- You're always topless.

(doorbell ringing)

- Well, if it isn't my good friend Eric.

- And where's Brendan?

- He went to get a drink.

- What's with the neck?

- I slept on the floor, and I'm gonna kill you.

- Serious negativity.

- Why didn't you tell me about Brendan?

- Well, you never asked me.

- That's real funny.

How long have you known?

- He told me a couple of years ago when he moved to Boston.

- I don't believe this.

- So, did you two?

- What?

- You know.

- I'm engaged to Sterling.

- So is that like a no?

- You might wanna try a little V eight, just for coloring.

- Sarah, hi.

- Hi, what took you so long?

- We went to the gym, you know,

to work off our hangovers,

and that's how Bob strained his neck.

- Bob lifting weights?

- I know it's crazy, huh?

- Oh, it's a pretty plate.

- This is Aunt Alice's.

- Oh!

- Where's the bird?

- It's very big.

- I thought you'd like it!

Barbara told me you love partridges.

- Yes.

- Celia, I've run out mixers.

Would you mind being a dear

and running to the 7-Eleven for me?

- Sure.

You wanna ride shotgun?

- No, I'll hang here.

- Woo, passing up a trip to Sleven.

My, we are getting older.

- I'll miss you.

- Yeah, Metro liner at four.

Okay, bye.

- Leaving us already?

- Oh yeah, I gotta do some retakes for tomorrow's show.

Is Bob around, have you seen him?

- Wherever Brendan is.

- Those two have been inseparable, huh?

- Yeah, almost like that whole

unrequited thing never happened.

- What thing?

- Oh, Bob had a huge crush on Brendan senior year.

- Really?

- Nothing ever happened, thank God.

- I can't believe that Bob never told me.

- Yeah, in fact the whole thing helped bring us together.

- Yeah, Brendan says that you

two are getting really serious.

- Really?

- Yeah.

(tense music)

- Thank you, Emma.

Mommy's upstairs.

- This thing's choking me to death.

- You know they're gonna find out eventually.

- Sterling would kill, he'd freak.

- You're not gonna tell him?

- I'm now gonna blow my engagement

'cause of what happened last night.

- Oh, if you're so engaged,

where's the ring?

- Well, we're engaged to be engaged.

- And Sarah and I are gonna elope.

Come on, Bob.

I was kidding.

- [Bob] Sterling!

- There you are!

- Okay, we've gotta head back ASAP.

- What?

- Yeah, I gotta tape at eight.

- Oh, what a shame.

- You have plans for later?

- Why?

- I don't know, I was thinking maybe we could go down to GW,

check out the old haunts.

- What for?

- Don't be coy with me.

Sterling told me what you've been up to.

- He did?

- Sarah told me all about you two.

- She did?

- And you know what, I could never guess.

If I were in your shoes,

I would've done the exact same thing.

- You would?

- Well, who wouldn't have fallen for Brendan?

He's so cute.

- Bobby, what happened to your neck?

- I slept on the floor.

(Bob groaning)

- Earth to Bob.

- What happened, Potato bug?

- I don't know.

I was just standing there and then everything went black.

- I've had those happen before.

- Why don't you take that neck brace off?

- [Brendan] You don't want to do that.

- Looks like it's choking him.

(crowd gasping)

- Bob.

- Brendan.

- Eric?

- Brendan?

- Sarah!

- Brendan?

- Celia!

- [Carol] Matt?

- [Matt] Brendan.

- Bob!

- Yo Beth!

You know, if you needed anything,

you should have just come to me.

- It's for Sarah.

You know what Valium looks like?

- Man, she is certainly freaking out.

- I know, but can you believe it?

Bob and Brendan?

Wow.

- That's why he came down here at the last minute.

- How do you know?

- Well, he was nervous about seeing Bob,

and I chilled him.

You know, said everything would work out fine.

I'm such the total liar.

- God, practically a romantic.

- Hey.

- Hmm.

- Don't go spreading that around now.

Could like ruin me.

- Whatever you say, Pooky bear.

- So did you have a good time last night?

- Oh God, yeah.

And did you have a good time?

- Yeah, it was good.

- Yeah, it was great.

Yeah.

(Beth and Eric laughing)

- Fag?

Oops, lingo from my whack days.

That Barbara, she won't let me smoke anywhere in this house.

Seems I've caused a rift.

- I'm the one who kissed him.

- You kids have such complications these days.

Now back in my day--

- Oh, no offense,

Alice, but back in your day,

Sterling would be engaged to Doris Day.

- Well, if you ask me,

Sterling's not the problem.

That fly boy never made it with me

because he never told me how he felt.

- Well, Bob knows how I feel.

- You've told him this?

- Hey.

I thought this might make you feel better.

- Only if it makes me an incredibly attractive gay man.

(Beth laughing)

- Oh, Sarah,

it's not your fault if Brendan likes guys.

- I mean, what do you want me to say?

That it's okay that Brendan's gay?

I'm sorry I'm not having a politically

correct nervous breakdown.

- What's the big deal, he's just one guy.

- I just wanna know why everyone who doesn't

wanna get married is getting proposals left and right,

and I can't even get a lousy date.

I mean, I'm a relatively young,

reasonably attractive second year law student.

I mean, what is wrong with this picture?

- Well, I am certainly not one to talk about relationships.

- [Sarah] That's a given.

- Thank you.

Listen, Sarah,

the minute that you stop looking for it,

I mean, the moment that you stop needing some stupid guy,

that's when something like five Adonises

are going to drop into your lap.

- This happened to you?

- No, I'm still too desperate.

- So how's Sterling?

- You wanna talk to Sterling or me?

- Are you two still gonna go through with it?

- Yeah, sure.

We're picking out silver patterns.

Brendan, it's just that that whole

year we were in the same room,

you know, the same room.

Why couldn't you just--

- Why are you so hung up on something

that didn't happen five years ago?

- You're the one who thinks I'm still in love with you.

- You're not?

- Yes!

- You are!

- No, yes,

I'm, you know what I mean.

- Sterling, hi!

- Is my, is Bob in there?

- They're talking.

- Well, I find that hard to believe.

Bob, I'm leaving.

- Sterling, wait!

I've gotta go.

- What about us?

- Brendan, there never was an us.

Oh God, now I sound like a show.

- Whatever happened to that walking

emotional car wreck I used to live with?

- Brendan.

- I mean, when did you become so practical?

- [Sterling] What is going on in there?

- We're right in the middle of something.

- Well, are you making out again?

- Passionately.

- We weren't making out.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

He was merely sucking your neck.

- Look, I'm sorry that the whole thing--

- Oh, you're sorry?

- So I slept with my ex-roommate.

What do you want me to do, kill myself?

- You wouldn't have the flare for it.

- Does this mean the engagement's off?

- That's it, Bob.

No relationship, no wedding and no residuals.

Nobody makes a fool out of Scott Sterling.

I mean, Sterling Scott.

(car engine revving)

(emotional music)

♪ Why has the music stopped

♪ Where did all the happy people go ♪

♪ I know they were there

♪ Songs everywhere

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ I only blinked my eyes

♪ I only blinked my eyes

♪ And now the world that I used to know is changing on me ♪

♪ Why can't it be only a moment ago ♪

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ It was spring and I was in

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ I could see where the road would be ♪

♪ And what tomorrow was bringing ♪

♪ Hey, Mr. Dream Come True

♪ Hey, Mr. Dream Come True

♪ Why did you go and walk out the door ♪

♪ It all went so fast

♪ Why wouldn't it last only a moment more ♪

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ It was spring and I was here

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ I could see where the road would lead ♪

♪ And what tomorrow was bringing ♪

♪ Why has the music stopped

♪ Where did all the happy people go ♪

♪ I know they were there

♪ I know they were there

♪ Songs everywhere

♪ Songs everywhere

♪ Only a moment ago

♪ Why has the music stopped?

- [Driver] Metro liner service to Baltimore,

Philadelphia, New York City.

Now boarding on track 12.

- Going my way?

- Sterling, I thought you--

- Ran into some fans outside the station.

Autographs will be the end of me.

So there's a train at five we could catch.

- You're not still mad at me?

- I think I overreacted a little bit.

- More like overacted.

- I can be such a ham sometimes, huh?

- (laughs) Yeah.

- You know what's funny?

I thought I'd be the one caught cheating.

- You are having an affair?

- I was, with Dr. Drake during my third hospitalization.

I just thought, you know,

since we're clearing the air--

- He was my character.

- Anyway, it's all in the past,

and we have our future to look forward to.

- Excuse me, sir,

what train would you like these bags on?

- Here, why don't I take care of the luggage,

you go get your ticket, okay.

- But I--

- I'll meet you back here in 10.

- Bob!

- I thought you were driving back with Eric?

- I had a change of plans.

I'm taking the 508 back to Boston.

- [Bob] Oh.

- [Brendan] And you?

- Oh, Sterling missed his train.

We're going to go on the next one.

I'm supposed to wait for him here.

- Oh.

So, um...

So things are gonna work out?

- Looks that way.

- Listen, Bob.

I didn't get a chance to tell you

before what I wanted to say and--

- [Driver] Metro Liner for New York City

now boarding track 12, all aboard.

- It's just that, you know,

I really like you a lot.

- We're friends.

- It's more than that though.

Oh God, I don't know.

Let's see.

Well, your hair stands up at the back

of your head in the morning,

you know?

- What does bad hair have to do with this?

- Or the way your lips get all pouty when you get mad.

- You mean you're...

- For a while?

- (laughs) This is so weird.

- Yeah, but it's a good sort of weird.

- Sterling?

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- Oh, I'm headed back to New York for some re shoots.

- Hospital scenes?

- [Driver] Final boarding call,

New York City, Metro Liner service.

- I better go find him, 'cause we're gonna miss the...

- Okay.

Listen, maybe I can come down and,

you know, see you in New York sometime?

- [Bob] Yeah.

- No really, I mean it.

- Sure, that'd be great.

You okay?

- I don't think so.

- [Driver] All aboard!

♪ You can remember that once upon a love affair ♪

♪ Your heart was warm, your lips were tender ♪

♪ And I didn't care, baby

♪ You're gonna see

♪ You're gonna see

♪ A brand new me

♪ A brand new me

♪ The feeling's on my mind

♪ It's time

♪ Love you

♪ I'll never let you down

♪ It won't be the same

♪ If you see my

♪ Feet on the ground

♪ I've had my fill of fooling around ♪

♪ Ain't no life just being a clown ♪

♪ I heard the weather warning

♪ It said sunny today

♪ How did he know that you would show up to love me today ♪

♪ Baby

♪ You're gonna see

♪ You're gonna see

♪ A brand new me

♪ A brand new me

♪ The feeling's on my mind this time ♪

♪ I'll be a new man

♪ I'll be around

♪ The reason for your compromise is all to use ♪

♪ The purpose of your alibi is to confuse ♪

♪ I tend to live a lie I can't get through ♪

♪ I can't get through to you

♪ I can't get through

♪ I can't get through

♪ The season of awakening has turned on you ♪

♪ There is no escaping that love ♪

♪ Time is blue

♪ The winds of reason can't blow through to you ♪

♪ I can't get through to you

♪ I can't get through

♪ I can't get through

♪ With open arms and closed mind ♪

♪ Take me in

♪ Took me too

♪ Took me too

♪ I can't get through to you

♪ I've got so much to say to me ♪

♪ I can't reply

♪ I can't even get through with me ♪

♪ I'm big this time

♪ It isn't what you're showing me ♪

♪ It's what you have

♪ I can't get through to you

♪ I can't get through