Original subtitles

♪

(laughing) Ho-ho! Ho-ho! Ho-ho!

(imitating) Ho-ho! I know this gasp.

It's your "I'm seeing something historically interesting" gasp.

Lucy, do you see this?

Lucy: This wall?

This wall is part of an old aqueduct.

Ah, yes. The old-timey water system.

Yeah. Aqueduct. It's Latin for-

Both: To lead water.

Oh, wow. You really have been listening.

I do my part to remain your favorite child.

- You're my only child. - Not in Salsacino's eyes.

Don't you dare tell the dog what I said here today.

(laughing)

Just imagine if every time you needed water for anything,

you had to walk all the way to the nearest stream...

- (bell dinging) - Ooh.

- ...get the water- - Dad, I-

turn around and walk all the way back.

Dad, I don't want to-

Nobody wanted to. The aqueducts brought water into the city

and the marketplaces and the farms.

Just think of the time and the energy

and the human life that was saved by this innovation,

and there are still aqueducts in use in Rome today!

Today, Lucy! Ooh, gelato. Where'd you get that?

Mm. Thank you, favorite child.

Lucy one, Salsacino zero.

You know, Claudius Caesar used to send people into

the mountains to get snow to make grattachecca.

(chuckling)

Grattachecca. It's like snow cones, Lucy. Snow cones.

And, you know, there's...

♪ La mia nuova vita ♪

♪ My new life ♪

♪ I just can't wait to meet ya ♪

♪ (My new life) ♪

♪ La mia nuova vita ♪

♪ My new life ♪

♪ Take me with ya ♪

♪ (Take me with ya) ♪

♪ A little scared, but more excited ♪

♪ And I just can't wait to find out ♪

♪ Who I am and who I get to be ♪

♪ It's really nice to meet ya ♪

♪ La mia nuova vita ♪

♪ Feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Let me take you on a feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Going on a feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Are you coming, too?

♪ I'm down with the aquarium, museum, or the zoo ♪

♪ And we don't need no chaperone ♪

♪ Yeah, that's just how we do ♪

♪ And if we get in trouble I can blame it all on you ♪

Hey! (laughing)

Except I can't blame it all on you this time

because you won't be there.

If my unicorn pool float could safely cross the ocean,

I'd already be there.

Which one of these says "Not Swamp Thing."

Cookies are def the way to their hearts.

What if they hate snacks?

No one hates snacks, Lucy.

You haven't met these people.

Everything I do is wrong.

Not today! A class field trip is

a great way to redefine your identity.

Literally, every great shift in history

happened on a field trip. Moon landing?

Field trip.

Woodstock. Coachella.

Lil Nas X Tex-Mex Fest.

Field trips!

Just remember. WWKD.

It stands for, What Would Kyla Do?

I'm amazing at field trips.

Hello? The bird sanctuary.

Where you put bird seed in your hat

and that parrot sat on your head all day

so everyone thought you were a bird whisperer?

Or at that freaky art gallery when I convinced the curator

to let me touch the art?

Asking for forgiveness is not the same

as asking for permission, Kyla!

The point is I'm fun, and you can be, too.

♪ Let's get lost in the crowd ♪

♪ Make the school bus turn around ♪

♪ Put some bird seed in your hair ♪

♪ Pigeon poo is everywhere ♪

♪ Glad I was there to see it ♪

♪ 'Cause who would have believed it? ♪

♪ We're on our way ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where at the end of the day ♪

♪ We're on our way ♪

♪ On a feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Let me hear you say hey ♪

♪ That you'll be next to me Next to me ♪

♪ Now I know it will be It will be ♪

♪ A perfect day ♪

♪ 'Cause you're with me every step of the way ♪

♪ Let me take you on a feel-good field trip ♪

(Imitating guitar solo)

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ I'll be your chaperone ♪

Oh...

You'll what?

Yeah, I signed up to come. Isn't that great?

- Uh... - What?

I chaperone all your field trips.

I chaperoned the last one.

That was when I was, like, 12.

Yeah, and now you're, like... 13.

Exactly, and...

I kind of sort of wanted to try going solo.

But we always have so much fun.

Remember the bird sanctuary with the hand shake?

Caw-caw! Okay, it's just me.

I'm trying to make new friends here,

in a new country with a new language,

and that's kind of hard with your dad hovering around.

I understand.

So, maybe you can un-sign up?

No, can't do that.

They would have to cancel,

but I will keep my distance. I will fade into the background

like a cunning chameleon in the majestic baobab tree.

Okay. We'll make it work.

Great, 'cause I'm excited to chaperone where my knowledge

is actually applicable.

I made up most of the things I said at the bird sanctuary.

Turns out birds don't use sonar.

Oh, that explains why I got a D on that assignment,

(song playing over speaker)

No, not that one. Too wispy.

(song changing)

I've always pictured myself

walking down the aisle to this one.

No, that will never fill a stadium of 70,000 people.

Oh, I think my wedding is going to be more like 200 people?

Oh, you mean the Empire Europe Cup.

Yes.

Mm-hm.

(speaking Italian) La Coppa di Impero Europa. Cosa?

Francesca: English, Bruno.

You know I like to practice to get better for Lucy.

Francesca is submitting a proposal to sing the big

theme song for the football tournament.

If they select me, it's a chance to break into the global market.

I would never do that.

Do you remember Nino Monak?

Gloria Marvicello? Fiza Amiris?

No.

All past Empire Europe Cup performers.

Their terrible songs ruined their careers.

Gloria's last song was a jingle for allergy medication.

♪ Zip-Zop ♪

♪ Make your sneezing stop ♪

♪ Achee-achee-achee ♪

I love that commercial.

But, of course, that won't happen to you.

It could.

I have to write something new.

The best I've ever written.

I must get to work.

(scratching, squeaking)

Wait.

Do you hear that?

Sorry, I had melon for lunch.

No, a skittering.

There's a mouse in the walls.

Listen!

(scratching, squeaking)

Un topo!

Bruno: Typical for an old apartment.

Definitely not the building manager's fault.

I hear nothing. I'll go set up the piano.

Wait, we must catch it first.

It'll distract me otherwise.

Go get it Salsacino. Daia, daia, daia!

You're going to make me do it myself?

(snorting)

I'll be quick.

Catching mice was one of my chores

at the farm growing up, remember?

Yes, but those were country mice.

This is a city mouse.

Much smarter and more agile.

So, you think I can't do it.

(cracking knuckles)

Will: Everybody down this way.

One time ancient Rome almost fell to Gaelic invaders,

but they were only saved by a bunch of geese honking.

Oh, my gosh. There's a Temple of Venus?

(Speaking Italian)

I'll text you.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe how ancient everything is here.

The oldest thing in my home town

is a bowling alley out by the airport.

So, that's how a flock of geese saved ancient Rome.

- Girl: Wow. - (chuckling)

Will: Guys, get in here. Let's gather around.

Yawn fest. Let's go check out the Temple of Venus.

Will: Welcome to the incredible Villa Adriana.

Okay, and first I want to thank

the Valumna International School

for letting me help educate you guys.

They say time travel is impossible, but today...

Whose dad do you think that is?

Uh...

Hey, sorry. Whose dad are you?

Uh, Lucy's. She's right there.

Hey, Lucy. You've heard my whole spiel before.

- You want to start us off? - Tempting, but I'll pass.

Alright, fair enough. Remember, take only pictures,

leave only footprints. Choose a buddy...

I can't believe he's doing this.

That's your dad?

Will: Stay hydrated.

- He's cool! - Will: Ask questions.

Do you want to be my buddy or not?

Also, there can be wild boars in this area,

which can be dangerous, especially if you're alone.

So, make sure you stick with your buddy.

I say that all the time. Lucy can confirm.

Uh, she's busy, but she'll confirm later.

Now, if you do see a boar, act tall and act loud.

♪

Prosciutto, parmagiano, fettucine.

These sophisticated city mice should be waltzing

right into our traps by now.

Maybe we should try pizza. Nobody can resist pizza.

Grazie, Bruno, for taking this seriously.

Unlike Emilia.

(snapping fingers) Yeah. 3:00 o'clock? Of course!

Yeah, she'll have something brilliant by then.

Definitely. Mm-hm. Bye now.

So, that was the producer's assistant.

They need your song proposal by 3:00.

(scratching rustling)

What more could this mouse want from me?

Francesca.

One mouse becomes a hundred in no time.

Technically, it would take two mice to become a hundred.

Just learned about that.

I took a sacred oath as an assistant to do

what's best for you no matter what,

and what's best for you right now, Francesca,

is definitely not rodent round-up.

Bruno: A sacred oath? To who?

Myself...

in the mirror, every morning.

(sighing)

Okay. You're right. I will get my notepad.

- (trap closing) - All: Il topo!

Emilia: The trap's not shut.

And the fettuccini are gone.

But the mouse got away. How?

(groaning) City mouse!

I will not stop until I catch this pest!

Go buy more traps.

Bruno, what toppings would a mouse like on their pizza?

I'd say pepperoni.

Ah. Okay.

(people chattering)

Hey, look. They're buddies like us.

Incredible handiwork.

Though, I think we're supposed to return these maps.

(groaning)

(Will chuckling) Ho-ho-ho!

What was that?

My dad's found something

historically interesting.

Will: Scholars, gather around.

I found an extraordinary aqueduct remnant.

Can anyone tell me what aqueduct means in Latin?

Anyone at all?

Anyone named Lucy?

Girl: Yeah, Lucy.

You know this.

A duck who loves water?

(students laughing)

Well, it does sound like a wet duck.

Aqueduct is actually Latin for "to lead water."

And it was incredibly important to a myriad

of ancient civilizations.

Anyone care to guess how long the longest Roman aqueduct was?

The correct answer is 240 kilometers long.

The Valens Aqueduct of Constantinople.

One time on a field trip to a bird sanctuary

I put bird seed in my hat.

This parrot sat on my head all day

and everyone thought I could talk to birds.

That really worked?

That's amazing.

It is?

I mean, yeah, it was!

I even taught a parrot how to say- (squawking)

"Lucy's the best!"

You did something funny?

Oh, yeah.

Back home I was quite the clown,

and I realize as I'm saying this that it doesn't sound very cool,

but believe me, it was.

I pulled so many pranks,

a teacher had to go on stress leave.

Hey, Arlo. Come get a picture of Swamp Thing talking to me.

I want to remember her being funny and interesting

for the first time.

What else did you do in America?

Okay, this one time our class was camping,

and our teacher was fast asleep.

I had a jar of spiders, a can of whipped cream,

and a dream.

So, then I convinced the curator to let me touch the art.

- Seriously? - Wow.

Mm-hm.

What I really want to know is how your dad ended up

with Francesca Fortuna.

You don't want to hear about my boring old dad.

Snow cones! Get your ancient Roman snow cones!

Grattachecca. Yes, please!

You want sweet treats? I've got cupcake flavored cookies.

Uh...

I'll tell you about my dad and Francesca.

Okay.

Alright.

They met at the...

...Met Gala.

Oh, my God. What was your dad wearing?

Uh...

A full suit of armor.

Ooh, the commitment.

Zendaya grabbed a fire extinguisher,

but Francesca's dress was already engulfed.

So, dad wrapped her in a tablecloth to put out the fire.

Then they left and went to the bowling alley

out by the airport and that was their first date.

That's beautiful.

Like a real life romcom.

Snow cones anyone?

We're fine. No snow cones. Thanks. Bye.

Nico: Oh, Lucy was just telling us

the beautiful story of how you and Francesca met.

It was quite something.

Um, something they just heard about.

No need to repeat ourselves.

To think, just a regular guy like me

meeting a famous pop star outside a museum.

Funny way to say Met Gala.

Met Gala? That thing is an embarrassment

to the idea of museums.

No, Lucy and I had just left this extraordinary exhibit

on ancient chamber pots in Rome,

and Francesca walked by.

I fixed her shoe.

If that's not true, what about the parrot on your head?

Oh, you told them that Kyla story?

Legendary.

(breathing shakily)

This is keeping your distance?

Don't follow me.

Come on, my mousey nemesis.

Dove sei?

What are you doing?

That's for the mouse!

- (crashing) - (gasping)

(squeaking)

Who is the best assistant in the whole wide universe?

Me!

- Ah. - It's me.

Emilia, you caught it. Brava.

So, now we can finally focus on your work.

Hold on.

This mouse has rounded ears.

This mouse has reddish fur.

This mouse has a white underbelly!

This is a country mouse.

Emilia, where did you find this?

Fine, I bought it from my friend Armando.

He always has mice for his pet snake!

Your friend has a snake?

So, my nemesis is still somewhere within these walls.

- (scratching, chittering) - Wait.

(squeaking)

(gasping) It's close.

Emilia: It's going in.

It's grabbing the cheese.

And it's...

Francesca: No!

(groaning)

Come back here, you!

(grunting)

You are right.

I can't catch a city mouse.

I am just not good enough.

Oh, okay.

So, your weirdness about the mouse

is actually about the song.

I see.

Obviously.

What if the song isn't good and I don't get the gig?

Or I do get it and I bomb?

I always feel like I'm one mistake away

from losing everything.

Like I'm just some country girl who tricked everyone.

So, you're afraid to start because you're afraid to fail.

Francesca, your fans don't need you

to be some perfect city mouse,

we love you because you are a country mouse,

and you chasing your dreams inspires me to chase mine.

And look at me now!

Assistant to a pop star.

(chuckling)

Come on, you can do this.

Coraggio.

(sighing)

I should have listened to you sooner.

Think you can get the producers to spare me

a couple of extra hours?

(crying)

Kyla: Lucy! How goes?

Goes bad.

I tried the whole What Would Kyla Do thing,

only instead of acting like you, I just told all your stories

and pretended they were mine.

Oh, boy.

Then I got carried away and told a bunch of

other stories that weren't mine, or yours, or anyone's.

Just a bunch of weird lies.

Then Dad blew up my spot,

and I basically cried in front of everyone,

yelled at my dad, and ran away.

(groaning)

The last time I experienced this much second-hand embarrassment

was when Jimmy barfed in his own dunk tank.

There's only one solution.

Fake my own death? I know.

I've tried the fake death thing, remember?

Zero out of 10. Would not recommend.

(sighing) Of course, as your best friend,

I respect your decision to fake your death,

since I've already pre-written several eulogies

I would deliver at your funeral, fake or otherwise.

Most include interpretive dancing to Enya.

I'll show you my top six and you can pick your fave.

♪ Ooh ♪

(laughing)

- (roaring) - ♪ Ooh ♪

Kyla, wait. Stop singing. There's something in the bushes.

Sometimes my dancing is so moving

people have hallucinations.

- (snorting, grunting) - Oh, no. This is real.

Wealthy ancient Romans used to toss their food scraps

on the ground, which is odd and maybe smelly,

- but they did that because- - (roaring)

You hear that?

Kid: Um...

(growling)

Boars.

Everyone, find your buddy. Climb up on the tables.

Let's do a head count.

My buddy's missing!

Who?

Lucy! I failed as a buddy.

I should have gone after her. Forgive me.

Up on the table. Go.

(whispering) Dad. Help. Dad!

Dad.

Dad!

- It's going to be okay. - (whimpering)

- It's going to be okay. - Okay.

Do you remember any of the boar safety tips?

Not at all.

Okay, first we need to remain calm.

Never been calmer!

I disagree. Focus on the moment, okay?

Okay.

We're going to make ourselves big. Real big.

Arms away, arms away.

We've gotta make noise to scare him away.

Uh, sing a song, Lucy.

- Anything, anything. - (whimpering)

We're surrounded.

(grunting)

(uncertainly) ♪ Put some bird seed in your hair ♪

♪ Pigeon poo is everywhere ♪

♪ Glad I was there to see it ♪

♪ 'Cause who would have believed it ♪

♪ We're on our way ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where at the end of the day ♪

- ♪ We're on our way ♪ - (boars grunting)

♪ On a feel-good field trip Let me hear you say hey ♪

♪ That you'll be next to me ♪

♪ Now I know it will be ♪

♪ A perfect day ♪

♪ 'Cause you're with me every step of the way ♪

(both sighing, laughing)

Okay, they're gone.

Intimidated by the power of my voice.

Yeah, they probably were, huh?

(laughing)

(playing piano)

(squeaking)

Hello, there. (chuckling)

♪ (vocalizing) ♪

(squeaking)

You are pretty brave, aren't you?

(squeaking)

♪ Make every beat count like the heartbeat ♪

♪ That keeps you alive ♪

♪ And worth all your hard work ♪

♪ Your passion, your drive ♪

♪ This is your moment, you've earned it ♪

♪ So own it ♪

♪ Let's rise ♪

♪

Thank you, my friend.

♪

Boy: Hey, toss me the ball.

Be honest, how bad was that?

Ugh. Wow.

If even you can't put a positive spin on it...

I'm sure everyone has moved on and will go back to thinking

about your clever custom fashions.

(laughing) Thanks for noticing.

For this one, I actually-

Hey, settle a bet.

Is that even your dad or did you make him up, too?

(kids laughing)

Okay, yes. I lied today and I'm sorry.

I spent 40 minutes picking out a snack

thinking it would make me popular.

I spend so much time trying to get you to accept me,

but at the end of the day,

isn't that what we're all kind of doing?

Charlotte, you post selfies non-stop,

and you'll take 100 just to get the perfect angle.

Arlo, you do anything Charlotte tells you to do.

And I spend so much time on my hair that I'm failing math.

I might just be bad at math.

And your hair looks great.

The point is, we're all trying so hard to be liked,

that sometimes we aren't ourselves at all,

- and maybe, just maybe- - Girl: Pass the ball!

Arlo: Swamp Thing, you're blocking our game.

- What? - Girl: Heads up!

(kids laughing)

- (scoffing) Fine. - Girl: Finally.

I guess rousing speeches aren't the vibe.

(sighing)

Thanks for being such a great buddy.

(chuckling)

I got another apology to make.

(kids chatting)

Sorry I was so weird today.

Eh, it's okay. Being the new kid is tough.

I just need you to know, though,

the real you is enough.

Hm.

(chuckling) I'm really glad you came today.

And not just because you saved me

from being trampled by a wild boar.

You know cookies are thought to originate

in seventh century Persia.

(laughing)

I mean, it's true!

And irrigation and refrigeration.

not to mention the...

And then, I carefully lay the rose on top of your coffin,

and that's when the t-shirt cannons blast

and the doves are released!

Can't decide between dances three and six.

Could you do them both again?

(sighing) Just let me catch my breath.

Thanks for being so there for me today,

and not for judging me when I totally went overboard.

Yeah, that was kind of weird,

but I like your weirdness, Luce'.

That's why we work.

I'm kind of envious of you. The way you're always yourself.

How do you do it?

I think- Well, I don't think, actually.

I kind of just am.

I... be.

Every time I try to be in the moment,

my ADHD brain takes over, and I have, like, 100 million

thoughts racing through my head, and I don't know which ones

- to listen to. It's like- - (squeaking)

(screaming)

What? Did the boards follow you home!?

It's a mouse! (screaming)

(crying)

That's it, Lucy.

You're in the moment!

♪ Feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Let me take you on a feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Going on a feel-good field trip ♪

♪ Are you coming, too?

♪ I'm down for the aquarium, museum, or the zoo ♪

♪ And we don't need no chaperone ♪

♪ Yeah, that's just how we do ♪

♪ And if we get in trouble I can blame it all on you ♪

♪ Hey! Let's get lost in the crowd ♪

♪ Make the school bus turn around ♪

♪ Put some bird seed in your hair ♪

♪ Pigeon poo is everywhere ♪

♪ I'm glad I was there to see it ♪

♪ 'Cause who would have believed it? ♪

♪ We're on our way ♪

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