Original subtitles

♪♪ [ trumpet ]

Howdy. I'm the Old Ranger

And Death Valley's my stampin' ground.

Many's the tale of adventure I'm going to tell you...

about the Death Valley country--

true stories, mind you.

I can vouch for that.

This is the mining camp of Gold Center, Nevada,

known today as Dead Center,

but back in the early 1900's, a lively boom camp,

consisting of the usual collection of miner shacks,

general store, saloons, deadfalls,

and one restaurant,

run by Steve Bassett and his man Friday,

better known as Flap-Jack Kelly.

Howdy.

Morning.

Kind of heavy, ain't it?

Instead of just standing there guessing,

why don't you give a lady a hand?

Sure.

What are you aiming to put in here?

Well, a tea room.

Tea room? What's that?

Well, a place to eat, a restaurant.

Restaurant?

Oof!

Why, you-- you little shrimp!

If I catch you, I'll beat you into a batter.

Steve!

Steve!

What's eatin' you?

Competition.

Somebody offer you a job as a cook, huh?

Well, if you don't hop in that kitchen and get busy,

I'll give it to 'em.

No, no-- I won't stop to argue.

The guys will be piling in for dinner

before you know it.

And before you know it, they're liable to be piled

into somewhere else for dinner. What?

You're so darn smart, I ain't gonna tell you now.

Tell me what?

That they're puttin' in a restaurant next door.

Restaurant next door?

That's right, Steve,

right next door.

I was just comin' to tell you about it.

For once, I got here ahead of you.

Sure gonna be a relief

to have some good place to eat in town

besides this dump.

Dump? Why, you...

Hold it, Flap.

You can't blame anybody that's eati''

out of a feed bag all this life

for not recognizing good food when it's put before him.

And since you know everything,

just who is this guy

that's aiming to drop his bank roll

by opening another hash house here.

It ain't a guy. It's a female.

A widow woman, by the name of Melodie Marshall.

With a voice like a foghorn and built like a covered wagon.

[ chuckles ] I know the kind, met a lot of 'em.

They think they're tough,

but they can't stand competition.

It takes a man to feed a miner.

You know, you had me worried at first, Pete,

but since you brought me the good news,

how about a cup of coffee on the house?

You drink it, you'll need it.

With a slug of redeye in it

to brace yourself for the shock.

[ laughs ]

[ laughs ]

I didn't like the way he said that.

Neither did I

and I aim to find out what it's all about.

[ laughs ]

I understand you're planning on opening a restaurant here, Mrs. Marshall,

and I thought I'd-- Well, son, I'm not Ms. Marshall. She is.

Oh.

I understand you're planning on opening

a restaurant here, Mis--

planning to open a restaurant here,

and you'll trouble yourself to--

and you'll save your trouble to--

I mean--

[ sighs ]

[ sighs ] Yes?

Oh.

As I was saying, I understand you're opening

a restaurant here, Mrs. Marshall.

Why, yes I am, Mister-- Mister...

Uh, Bassett, Steve Bassett.

I run the Tip Top cafe, next door.

Oh.

Then we're neighbors.

That's right, and I was just going to say--

How nice.

What?

How nice of you to drop in.

Usually competitors ain't very friendly and...

I'm glad you're different.

You are?

[ sighs ] You were saying?

I was?

Oh, yes. Uh...

I've lived in this town three years,

and if there's anything I can do for you,

why... just feel free to ask.

Thank you.

Oh, here, let me do that.

Ever have any experience hash-slingin'?

Hash-slingin'?

Yeah, feeding hard-rock miners.

No. No, we don't have hard-rock mines back in Maryland.

Yeah, I thought not.

But I can cook, just home cooking, that is.

Fried chicken and hot biscuits,

cherry cobbler, and things like that.

Oh, that won't do.

Stew, beans, and hash-- that's miner's grub.

Feed 'em plain and charge 'em high.

Would 50 cents be too much?

50 cents?

With a second helping free.

Oh, you're crazy!

I mean, you'll go broke before you ever get started.

How'd you happen to come out here anyhow?

Well, I had to do something after my husband died,

so I just closed my eyes, and stuck a pin in a map,

and here I am.

Well, if you're smart, you'll get out that map

and stick a pin into it again,

for your own good, I mean. No.

No, I'm here and I'm going to go through with it.

Aw, swell.

What's this stuff?

Scrim, for the windows.

Curtains for the windows? [ sighs ] Of course.

[Maddie] Miss Melodie!

Look, they came through in great shape,

all four boxes of them.

Oh, Maddie, how wonderful!

What are you gonna do with that?

I'm gonna put 'em in pots.

Put some of the pots in the window,

put the rest of the pots on the tables.

Curtains on the window?

Fern on the tables?

Chicken and cherry cobbler for 50 cents?

I come over here expecting to find somebody

that's gonna give me competition.

Instead, I run into a little mite of a thing,

that's as green in the ways of a mining camp as--

as them plants.

Mr. Bassett, you make me sound very helpless.

Well, you are helpless,

so darn helpless, you've got me worried about you,

and I've got no business being worried about a competitor!

You wanna know something, honey?

What?

You've got no business being worried about a competitor, either.

I hear The Fern is doing so good,

the customers have to line up

for room to take off their hats.

Old lass, she'll go broke in 30 days.

That's what you said 30 days ago.

Yeah, and I say it again.

Beef stew and hash, that's miner's grub,

and they'll come back to it before they're through--

Ah! [ winces ]

They'd better hurry before we're through.

Bad batch of flour.

Mr. Bassett?

Are you busy?

Oh, no, no, Ms. Marshall, come right in.

We were just cleaning up after the rush.

[ under his breath ] Get this stuff out of here.

What can I do for you?

Need a little sugar, or flour?

We just seem to have a little surplus of both of them.

No, thank you. I have plenty.

Well, I hear you're doing very well at your place.

Yes.

I seem to manage, somehow.

Well, it ain't because you've got good business sense.

It's because you're a mighty pretty woman.

Why, Mr. Bassett!

All those fellas that hang around over there,

they're-- they're all just crazy about you.

They're crazy about my cooking.

What about that Jeff Arnold?

I hear there's more than your cooking that keeps him hanging around there.

You sound as though you don't approve.

Well, it's just because, you know,

you're new around here.

and-- and well, I want you to be careful.

If he should get serious, I'll let you know.

What I came to ask you about--

that piece of property between your place and mine

belongs to you, doesn't it?

Well, yeah, sure.

Well, I wondered,

would you rent it to me?

Oh, so now you're doing so much business,

you want to enlarge your cafe?

No, not yet.

I want to keep chickens. Chickens?

I'm paying such a high price for eggs, and it would be cheaper.

Besides, the eggs would be so much fresher.

Of all the crazy ideas...

Will you rent it to me?

Mark my words,

you're gonna end up in the poorhouse.

Will you rent me that piece of ground?

What you need is a guardian.

How much will you take?

It's not for rent.

Very well.

50 a month.

50?

[ sighs ] You sure you're not cheating yourself?

Me?

[ chuckles ]

Steve Bassett never came out on the short end of a deal

in his life.

Well, if you're satisfied, I am.

Thanks a lot, Steve. [ giggles ]

[ giggles ] [ giggles ]

Chickens.

[ clucking ]

Chick, chick, chick, chicks.

Chicks.

Chickies, come on.

Come on, chick, here. Chick, chick, chick, chick.

Come on. Chick, chick, chicks.

Come on, chickies.

Chickies! Come on.

Chick, chick, chick, chicks. Here, chickens.

Come on, chicks.

Here, chick, chick, chick, chicks.

Chicks.

Hey, Sliver, what are you doing?

Minding my own business.

Well, that shouldn't take much time.

Want a job? I can use a dishwasher.

Dishwasher? I'll have you know, woman, that I'm a cook.

I've been cooking ever since I was knee-high to a gopher.

Well, if they ate your cookin',

no wonder those poor little things hide in holes.

Is that so?

Might I ask you a question?

Well, go ahead.

You're a blamed old battle-axe.

That's no question. You're right,

there's absolutely no question about it.

Why you!

[ chuckling ]

Look at this.

This here's the kind of biscuits

they're feeding the customers at The Fern.

Why, you could eat a dozen of these here things

and never feel no drag on your belt.

Now, you take one of mine,

now, this here's somethin'

you can really get your teeth into.

[ crunch ]

Aw, shoot, you swallow one of these,

and you know you ate something.

Close up whenever you feel like it, Flap.

Hmm, "dance Saturday night, Miner's Hall, 8:00 pm."

[ door opens ]

I'm sorry. We're closed.

Oh, Steve.

Well, I thought seein' as how there's a dance Saturday night

and seein' as how I'd like to take you,

I went down to the Miner's Hall and bought a couple of tickets.

[ sighs ] Oh, how nice,

but Jeff Arnold is escorting me to the dance.

Oh, he is, huh?

Well, that's a load off my mind,

to know that you're being taken care of.

But he didn't say anything about taking me home!

He didn't?

Being escorted home is even more important than being taken.

Well, that's what I think.

Won't you sit down?

Uh, thanks.

Steve, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.

Well, that's funny.

There's something I want to talk to you about.

What is it?

Oh, well, it's--

Well, you tell me first.

It's about your property. Property?

Yes, the vacant lot that I'm renting.

Oh, the chicken yard.

Steve, will you sell it to me?

Sell it?

Yes, you were right, you know,

when you said I'd need it to enlarge my place.

You've been right all along.

I should have offered to buy it in the beginning,

but I'm so new at business, and--

That's what I've been tellin' ya!

Now, you listen to me.

Don't go saddling yourself with anymore property.

But my place is so crowded.

Well, you should be glad of that!

Don't go pushin' your luck.

Oh, please.

You will sell it to me, Steve?

They say there's a divine providence

that watches over fools and children,

and I reckon that applies to

pretty little widders like you, in business.

I guess so. How much will you take for the property?

I ought to sell it to you just to teach you a lesson.

Oh, I knew you would.

Yeah, but I'm not gonna take advantage of you.

Steve! I'm not gonna let you make a fool of yourself.

But you said you'd sell it.

I didn't.

You did. I did not.

You did too!

I did not. I just said I ought to sell it to you

to teach you a lesson.

You name your price, and I'll meet it.

Oh, that's no way to bargain.

Why, you don't know the first rules of trading?

I don't care.

How much? If you was a man, and a business rival,

I'd say $5,000.

Sold!

You mean, you've got $5,000 in cash?

Right here.

Oh, the good Lord deliver us.

Well, it's handier than keeping it in the bank.

Yeah, you'll need another $5,000 for the addition.

I know it.

$3,000.

Oh, you're plum crazy. You oughta be locked up!

$4,000.

Well, what about the papers and the deeds

to make it legal?

That won't be necessary.

I know you won't cheat me.

Well, I'll have a bill of sale drawn up right away

by Lawyer Capshaw.

And you be sure to go in and sign it, you understand?

Well, don't act so mad, Steve.

Just because I'm expanding is no sign

that you're being put out of business.

There's room in this town for both of us,

I hope.

You hope? You hope?

Isn't there?

Why, why-- All right, you asked for it.

You want competition?

That's what you're gonna get!

Just watch!

Put me out of business, my eye!

I'll show ya!

You're the one that's gonna fold!

Just wait and see! [ gasps ]

If that's the way you feel,

I'll have Jeff Arnold

take me to the dance tomorrow night and home!

That's just fine because I won't be here anyway.

I'm leaving for Los Angeles the first thing in the morning.

On important business!

Hey, Flap!

Steve! [ laughs ]

I was just on my way down to the stage depot to meet you.

Well, I missed the stage, so I borrowed a horse and rode up

in a hurry to get back here and start things!

I wanted to be the first to brea--

Everything's all set, got the blueprints right here

for a new cafe that'll knock The Fern into a cocked hat.

Yes, sir, I've got some great things lined up for the two of us.

Steve, Steve--

You see this line at the Assayer's office?

Well, that's no line compared the one

that'll be forming in front of our new cafe!

Steve-- [ laughs ]

What's the matter, Ben? lose somethin'?

Steve--

Wait'll you see the plans I got--

mirrors and upholstered chairs.

I'll show her how to take care of competition.

Well...

Steve, I gotta tell ya--

Starting the addition.

Puttin' in a foundation.

Guess I should have told her it's practically solid rock.

You should have stuck a pick in it, yourself, Steve.

Well, that sure lucked out.

Yeah, we're gonna have a great, great place.

You know what I wanna call it?

The Metropolitan.

Now, ain't that got an air to it?

The Metropolitan.

Oh.

And to think it's her money that's helping to build it.

The $5,000 she parted with for that--that chicken run.

Howdy, Pete!

Hi, Steve.

I don't get it.

What are you so happy about?

Just because we're happy, eh, Flap?

Well, I'll be dogged,

I'd figured you'd be chewin' rocks

since you heard about it.

Yes, sir, Flap and I are-- heard about what?

You've been keeping something from me?

I've been trying to tell you, Steve,

but you wouldn't listen.

You wouldn't even see what you saw.

She struck gold!

Gold?

The whole town's in an uproar,

Folks are tearin' up the ground like badgers.

Nobody will uncover anything like she did, though.

A vein at least three feet wide,

worth a trip to Europe, a ton. And do you know how she found it?

There were gold nuggets in the chickens' craw.

Chickens?

Sure, she put one over on you, Steve.

You mean she found gold on that lot?

My lot?

Ain't your lot anymore, brother.

It ain't even a lot. It's a mine now.

And Jeff Arnold's in charge as Super.

Yeah, that little widow-woman sure made a monkey out of you

in more ways than one!

Ow! [laughing]

Nice goin' Stevie, nice goin'.

Maddie, are you sure he wasn't on the stage?

I didn't see hide nor hair of him.

And goodness knows, he's got enough hide and hair I couldn't have missed him.

[ sighs ] I've just got to talk to him first.

I'm going over to the Tip Top and see if he's---

Steve! Congratulations on your big strike.

Steve, I wanted to see you first to explain.

For a woman with no business sense, you sure pulled a slick one.

But I-- I--

Made me the laughing stock of the whole doggone town.

MELODIE: Oh, no, Steve...

Not that it matters, I'm leaving anyway.

Leaving?

That's why I took that trip.

I got a big deal on for a cafe up in Tonopah.

Oh, no, Steve, wait.

You've just got to listen to me.

That's where I made my mistake in the first place,

listening to you...

or even looking at you.

[ sighs ]

Go after him, Maddie.

Don't let him get away without my having a chance to talk to him.

He's just got to listen.

You just leave him to me, honey!

Mr. Bassett!

Mr. Bassett, Mr. Bassett,

Wait-- I don't want to hear anymore about it.

But you are gonna hear some more about it,

if I have to scramble you like an egg with this frying pan.

You can't walk out on Ms. Melodie

without giving her a chance--

Chance to make a fool of me again.

There ain't nobody made a fool of you but yourself.

If you'd have just let her explain,

she would have told you that when you deeded her that land--

Deeded?

Deeded?

I--

Mr. Capshaw!

Mr. Capshaw! [Mr. Capshaw] Yeah?

It's Steve Bassett, Mi--

Silas, you know that bill of sale you drew up for me last week?

Did Melodie Marshall ever sign it?

Nope. Still layin' on my desk waitin' for her.

Well, then that means the deal was never legally consummated.

That's right. It's sort of a gentleman's agreement.

Gentleman? [ chuckles ]

I'll show her!

Steve.

Oh, Steve, I'm so glad you came back.

There's something I've got to tell you.

There's something I've got to tell you.

I always said you were no businesswoman,

and I was right!

Of course I never pretended--

You hand over $5,000 for a piece of property

you don't even get a receipt for-- But, I-- I--

or sign the Bill of Sale.

Well, I did forget about that. I was so excited--

The next time you try to do somebody, do it right.

Be sure the law's on your side.

My side?

You don't own that land. I still hold title to it. You do?

And I can put you off at a moment's notice.

You can?

Well, that's all right.

It ain't right!

But you just said...

I said I could

and probably should...

teach you a lesson,

but I ain't gonna.

You can keep the land.

I'd have given it to you anyway

if you'd have told me what you wanted it for in the first place.

Steve, do you know how I found gold on that land?

Yeah, in the chickens' craws.

Our Sunday chickens, Steve,

our Sunday special with dumplings. Dumplings?

We always kill our Sunday chickens on Saturday. Well?

But you sold me the lot on Friday!

Friday? Yes.

And you didn't discover the nuggets

till you were killing your Sunday chickens on Saturday.

That's right.

I had no idea there was gold there

until after I'd bought the lot.

Then it was just some more of your luck.

[ sighs ] Of course.

Steve, you don't think

I'd have tried to put anything over on you...

you of all people...

the smartest trader in Nevada.

Such a week as I've put in--

people coming to me and making bids

and me with no business sense.

I'm just so mixed up, I don't know what to do.

Well, I always said you needed a guardian.

Or a manager, or--

or...

Or what?

Or s-something.

Well, would you like me to stick around and advise you?

Would you, Steve?

Well, you gotta do things my way.

I agree.

And no arguing.

No arguing.

And you'll forget all about Jeff Arnold?

[ whispers ] Who's Jeff Arnold?

I don't know.

[ chuckles ]

Doggone!

Looks like Steve got his self a wife!

And I got myself a dishwasher!

♪♪ [ trumpet ]