Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Lucy chadman.

Lucy chadman. ... and you ?

Hello to you, big boy.

Ohhhh !

You look wonderful.

[ Dog barks ]

Hi, flippy.

Oh !

I forgot my purse.

Here mom. Thanks.

Have fun.

My feet hurt already. Why did I wear these shoes !

They're too new. They're too black.

Lucy, stop worrying about the party, please.

Sure, I'll be right in my element.

Doctors, TV producers, art critics, ...

And that's just the women.

Jason, you know you're brilliant.

Do you have to prove it to all those jazzy people ?

We don't belong in that world.

I'm tired of doing dentists.

If I'm named chief of plastic surgery,

I'll be operating on the biggest names.

I'll be right on top. You're on top now.

Look at all the people that give you their noses.

Stop, I need to fix my shoe.

Can you imagine me living here ?

If they catch you smiling or acting human,

the block association would have you assassinated.

Do I look okay ?

Beautiful !

Do I have lipstick on my teeth ?

You look beautiful.

Regina ...

My favorite plastic surgeon.

Except for Bruce of course.

You brave man, working to save suburbia from sagging.

I don't expect to look 45.

If you could just ...

Lucy !

Lucy !

Come and meet Phineas devereux of devereux and devereux.

Oh, yes. Sure.

And president of the board...

... of knickerbocker ...

...hospital.

Oh !

So, the idiot, he cuts ... He cuts ...

He puts one hand inside;

the other hand in the other side.

He starts to shake hands,

then the patient comes to ...

"Doc-ter-er..."

Excuse me, it's a beautiful party.

Thank you.

Hi, I'm ... I'm leaving.

Do you have kids ?

Oh, ow !

Oh, nice shoes.

Are they conformable ?

Oh, Kim !

Hi !

Isn't this party sublime ?

It beats a cesspool back up.

What do you care ? You live in the suburbs and have a husband.

Well, you've had 3 husbands.

You want another one ?

You do ?

Come on. Let's look around.

Hastings swore he'd tear up the prenuptial agreement,

but he didn't.

Then, he promised me a safe full of goodies,

but there weren't any.

Then he died before buying the diamonds he promised.

Important diamonds.

I didn't get a cent.

I'd settle for a pair of conformable shoes.

Will you lighten up.

You didn't marry Hastings for his money.

Of course I did.

What else do you get married for -- love ?

Love lasts 6 or 8 months tops.

Money is forever.

Let me guess.

Obviously, you're not fashion, not p.R.,

publishing ?

I was a teacher. K through 3.

Now I volunteer at a daycare center.

Mainly, I'm a housewife,

and a mother.

My son was just accepted at Columbia,

but he wants to be a chef.

Fascinating. Excuse me.

Tell me about him.

Did you teach him to cook ?

There was a chocolate mush cake ...

My dear, I hear you gave

an indecent contribution

to the museum.

Oh !

Oh, no.

Oh, ahhh !

Oh, oh ...

Oh, I'm ...

...sorry. Take mine.

[ Crash ]

Zelda ?

What ?

Zelda, I need to talk.

Wow, you look terrible.

What's the matter ?

Huh ? Come on !

You can't fool your own sister.

I need to talk about last night.

I was not at my most graceful.

You're never at your most graceful.

Actually, it's not just last night.

I think Jason needs ...

More stimulation ?

Give him a laxative. Oh, nice.

I invoke the master magicians.

Zoroaster, apollonius ...

Simon of the temple,

and the great trithemius.

I invoke the keepers of the heart.

I yi-yi !

I wish you'd sit down already !

You know how I get when I'm real nervous ?

Like that time I sat on Carol's cheesecake.

[ Laughing ]

This was the worst !

The worst !

The awful part is that Jason

really deserves some respect, some recognition.

He's a brilliant surgeon; So creative.

A "tushie" lift is creative ?

So it's not a sonnet.

He's a wonderful doctor,

and father,

and husband.

I wanted to help him.

You should never help a human being

who earns a living suctioning thigh fat.

Are you embarrassed that I don't have a career ?

I want you to do whatever makes you happy.

Kim has a career. Do you want me to be more like Kim ?

I made that choice a long time ago, remember ?

When I was in medical school and you and Kim were college freshmen.

Huh ?

I couldn't believe you chose me.

I still can't.

I thought you were gone on her.

Kim was so beautiful.

So dynamic, so ...

Flippy !

Kim is all flash.

The only interest she has in men,

is what she can get from them.

It was true then. It's truer now.

Danny, it looks great.

There's no reason you can't cook and go to Columbia.

Dad, for the millionth time,

this is the only thing I want to do.

It's my calling, like you're a surgeon, and mom's ... a mom.

Right on top here.

Ready ?

Yo !

Now you try it.

Lucy, you've made great strides with him.

You're indispensable !

He's a good kid.

Okay, it's all yours. Take it away !

Okay !

Yeah, great !

My favorite brother-in-law !

My only brother-in-law.

I've been working on a formula for a potion.

You will never have to lay a blade to fatty tissue again.

Zelda please ... Clean yourself up !

Just think about it.

Hi !

Lucy ! My name's Zelda.

I have a story for you.

Don't worry, I'm just Lucy's eccentric sister.

Just enjoy.

We were sitting around in a circle of 7,

the best number for a seance.

Are you crazy ?

You just killed a transmigrating soul.

That could have been Beethoven ...

Botticelli...

Jack Benny.

Lucy, if I get this job, if ...

These are the people I'll work with.

They don't have to know that Zelda

talks with dead people !

Last night, the other side spoke through me.

The voice was crystal clear.

"My name is ...

"Isadore nusebaum.

"I am beyond.

"I am dead !"

This guy used to own a shoe store on kings highway.

Now he's beyond.

He went on to say,

"hear me.

"Urgent.

"Reorder wing-tips, nine triple e.

Black."

Phew ! What a night !

It makes you glad to be alive.

Danny, the hors d'oeuvres are marvelous.

What are these ? Another culinary triumph ?

Mmmmmm !

Danny, you are divine.

It's just some French stuff.

You ...

You belong outside, being the most enchanting hostess on long island.

Lucy stop pretending to be happy.

I am happy. Fine.

Except maybe Jason wants a zippier life.

Let me help you.

Get some decent clothes. Get a job.

Let me help you keep Jason.

I think I passed cute two years ago.

Maybe three.

Don't be silly.

You could look like this.

"But I wouldn't want that, Lucy.

I love you just the way you are."

Right.

Parties like this could be our future.

I've been thinking about our future.

It's a good sign getting invited to Phineas devereux's.

His 4th of July parties are famous.

How about another baby ?

Another what ?

I'm young enough to have more children.

We had Danny right away.

Then, you had your internship.

This is because Danny's graduated,

and you feel pressured to get a job.

I think that's really over simplifying.

The king of collagen !

And sweet little uh ...

Lucy.

Sweet little Lucy.

Of course, my dear.

¶

do you think there'll be a husband no. 4 ?

What Kim spends a year on silk blouses ...

Is equal to the national debt of Bolivia.

There has to be a no. 4.

He may not be too thrilled to hear how no. 3 died.

You mean ... During ...?

No. Just after.

According to Kim, he came and went.

Hi !

Jason, if you want to live life in the fast Lane,

you have to move, circulate, ooze charm.

Don't be seen talking to your wife.

Slim pickings this afternoon.

They're married, or they dribble,

or they're otherwise engaged.

To each other ? Right.

There's my ex-step son, Hastings Lacey, junior.

Big rich. He inherited everything.

Hello !

Hi !

Rocky marriage, see you later.

Knock-em dead.

Hello !

Hello. Hello.

Phineas, splendid party.

So glad. Now Jason,

our decision has been a long time coming,

but you'll know soon.

We break ground on the new wing this fall.

Pardon me.

Oh !

Ah, ah, ah ...

I've got it. Wait ...

No problem ! I'm sorry.

Okay, okay, it's no problem.

This is the most fun I've had in years.

Wooo !

Lucy, now don't move.

Agggh !

I feel like I'm trapped in a trojan;

a pleated trojan; With fringe.

Here we go.

Why do I need a new look ?

Jason likes my old look.

He liked it in college.

Adorable, sweet ...

You're too old for adorable.

I have never seen you look more beautiful. It's perfect.

Can I try something else ?

Yoo-hoo !

Wait until you see me.

S. Korean chicken-ball ?

No, but I'd love to see the chicken.

I don't like your aura.

It's turning purple. Something's strange.

My dress ?

No.

My sister ?

Besides me. I've got a book on auras

with a color chart.

It's gotta be here somewhere.

Maybe it's in the bedroom. Give me a second.

I've got to clean this place someday.

Let's see ... "Cabala",

"prehistoric teeth, their magic and their fun."

Ulp, ulp.

I can't figure out that purple. Gasp!

Gasp ! Does it mean that one of your past lives ...

Uh, uh, uh ! Is trying to send a message ?

Does it mean future purple ?

Aggh.

You know, something is going to happen.

[ Siren ]

Come on, Lucy !

Come on baby, I love you.

Mend my sister, heal her quick.

Vital signs ?

Pulse 170. Pressure 60.

Call anesthesia.

Come on Lucy !

I'm Dr. chadman. Later ! Cross and type.

I'm her husband !

Open an airway in the abdomen.

What ?

Pressure's dropping.

Light. More light.

More ventilation. Breathe !

Come on, breathe !

There's no pressure.

We're losing her.

Come on , you've got to live.

Come on ! Try !

[ Heart monitor stops beeping ]

Now a moment of silence for each of us to remember our beloved Lucy.

[ Crying ]

Let's have a smile, Mr. devereux.

We'll just shave it off;

shave it, ever so slightly.

That'd be nice.

Okay ?

Oh, oh !

Look, look !

[ Jingling ]

Mah-nah-tu-ree kalabee-santee.

Lucy ! Gol-do win-ja !

Win-ja.

Mah-na-tu-ree kalabee-santee.

Lucy !

Gol-do win-ja !

Lucy, wait.

I got chicken.

Wait.

Mah-nah-tu-ree kalabee-santee.

Lucy !

Gol-do !

Win-ja !

Zelda !

Zelda ?

Wake up !

Are you all right ?

Are you in a trance ?

Am I in a trance ? How did we get here ?

Oh !

Oh, ha, ha, ha !

Are you having a good time ?

I'm happy for you. I can't say I feel the same way.

It's bizarre here; Spooky.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, my God ! What am I doing in this dress ?

Kim said it would be perfect.

Who are we kidding ?

I wouldn't be caught dead in this !

Ha, ha, ha ! What is going on ?

Did you put funny herbs in my tea ?

You're here ! Oh boy, am I here !

How did I get here at night in this dress ?

I bought something that was much more you ... but Kim ...

When did you start listening to Kim ?

This is weird ! I don't believe it.

I don't believe it !

I swear on every star in the sky,

you were ... Will you stop with the dead business !

Did I pass out ? Was I sick ? High fever ?

Oh my God, it's the middle of the night !

I've got to get home to Jason.

I don't think he's expecting you tonight.

Oh.

Is Danny all right ?

I feel like something's happened.

Danny's fine. Everything's fine.

Tell him !

I still can't figure out how you got me there.

Lucy, you were d-e-a-d !

I've got to get this off. Do you have something I could wear ?

I was working against time.

It had to be exactly 1 year after you died.

I'm having deja vu.

There was more to it than that, naturally.

Astrological configurations,

purity of soul and the incantations.

Mmmm.

I like that !

I knew you would.

Yeah !

I thought this thing was totally wrong,

but Kim said, "it's so great."

And that it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever worn.

That's what I bought for you; Much more appropriate.

Listen, I've got to go home.

Wait a minute.

Have I got a pork roast defrosting ?

I hope not. Just let me explain.

I got this big shipment of used books.

From the estate of a white witch,

in sandusky; A run of the mill collection.

Except, there it was.

"The wisdom of catagonia."

It's all crumbly,

and it does smell like old gym socks,

but what a treasure.

They had all the spells for love,

making money, healing, and conquering death.

That was the killer !

Pardon the expression.

Can I borrow $20.00 ?

You don't believe me.

Look ...

Look at the date.

Oh, stop this. You had this made up,

at one of those tourist places.

"Doreen and Dwayne Watkins take N.Y. By storm."

I swear by the ancient healers. Listen !

All right, you brought me back from the dead.

Nice of you to take the time.

Wait ! The condolence cards.

Wait 'til you see. I saved every one.

Every snotty friend you had in Manhattan.

What did I do with those ?

[ Door bell ]

Come on, Jason.

I'm sorry, I must have ...

Wrong ...

This isn't the chadman house ?

This is the burns residence.

Uh huh.

Dr. chadman was the previous owner.

Excuse me.

Was this ever a playground ?

They tore that down last winter.

Thank you.

Where were you ?

Where's Jason ? Where's Danny ?

What happened to our house ? What happened to me ?

Everything's fine.

And you thought I was kidding !

Ho, ho, ho. Zelda makes an occult joke !

Ere.

Look at the date.

A year has gone by !

Do you think I had these made up ?

Do you think he's in on the plot ?

Do you remember the s. Korean chicken ball ?

You remember !

Do you remember dying in the hospital ?

I remember ...

You choked on the chicken ball.

Anyway, you died before your time.

That is the 1st requirement in "the wisdom of catagonia."

The 2nd, is that the evoker --

that's me -- has to have a love that's utterly pure.

Catagonians didn't know from ambivalence.

You think that's it -- ha !

It only works a year from the day of death'

and, while it's being intoned,

the earth, the moon, and the dog star,

have to form a perfect isosceles triangle.

Well, good.

I understand.

Lucy ! You were dead !

When we get back you go to the emergency room.

You ask to see your records, if you don't believe me.

Lucy, you died.

Hello, is there someone in charge ...

Dr. scanlon.

[ Knocking ]

Excuse me, Dr. scanlon ?

Yeah ?

Excuse me, doctor ?

Oh.

May I ?

Sure.

By any chance ...Oh !

Are you okay ?

I'm fine.

By any chance, do you remember me ?

My sister,

some people call her peculiar.

She says I was here a year ago.

Something stuck in my throat.

She says I choked to death.

If you don't take a walk, I'll call security.

I know how crazy this sounds.

Do I look a little bit familiar ?

Maybe my husband was there, Jason chadman ?

Jason chadman, the new chief of plastics ?

Oh, oh !

He made it !

Well, his wife died.

She ... She died ?

Yeah. She died.

Could you help me ?

Please ?

This is crazy. Come on.

This is Lucy chadman's xray from a year ago.

This is yours.

It's unbelievable. An old fracture.

It's exactly the same.

Lucy chadman was a ... ...B negative. I know.

Yeah.

Is it still ?

We'll see.

Ab negative.

You and this Lucy chadman,

you could be,

I'm not saying that you are,

the same person.

Are you sure you're okay ?

Oh, fine ... oh !

I'm sorry !

It's okay. Leave it !

Am I alive ?

You're not dead.

Is there anything different about me ?

I'm going to order every test we've got.

You name it, we are going to study it.

You know what's so funny about this ?

Just this morning, my sister Zelda, the peculiar one ...

She asked me if I remembered anything about ... you know.

I flashed on this face.

When I came in and you looked up,

it was you. It was your ...

Face.

Write down your address and phone number,

so that we can set up the appointments.

I've got to call the dept. Heads.

Do you have a residence for a Dr. Jason chadman ?

Uh huh.

I'll need the address please.

That's Manhattan ?

That's Manhattan.

Uh ... Dr. chadman, please.

Hi, I'm Lucy. I'm here to see Dr. chadman.

Dr. chadman is not up yet.

Not up ?

It's almost lunch time.

If you'd leave your name ...

Jason ?

Jason ?

Yoo hoo !

Hello !

Jason ? Come out, come out wherever you are.

[ Screams ] [ Screams ]

Oh, Mrs. chadman !

Yes ? Yes ?

Bye.

[ Screams ] [ Screams ]

I can't believe ...

What is this ? Some joke ?

Who are you ?

Jason ...

It's Lucy !

Put your glasses on and look at me !

I don't wear glasses anymore.

It must be a lot of laughs in the operating room.

I wear contact lenses.

This is insane. Who are you ?

Kim, it's Lucy !

You've known me since freshman year. Come on !

¶ I'm so happy that I am a kappa ...¶

stop ! You're dead and buried.

This keep coming up.

Evidently I was.

Zelda did some sort of incantation.

Here I am !

...again !

Where's Danny ? Is he all right ?

I'm dying to see him. He's fine.

Oh ! God !

Let me rephrase that.

I can't wait to see him.

Where's his room ? Did he go to Colombia ?

Is he here ?

Flippy ? Oh, my God !

What'd you do, send her to boot camp ?

I'll get dressed ...

We'll go for a walk ...

And talk.

Just ... The two of us.

The doorman knows I'm married.

How about you, huh ?

Chief of plastic surgery.

You must be so proud.

I've got to be honest. I wasn't thrilled to find you and Kim Lacey..

Chadman.

In bed together.

But, I understand.

You probably married her to keep me alive.

I, uh ... Do you ...

Feel ... All right ?

Actually, I'm hungry.

I haven't eaten for ...

Oh, ha, ha ha.

Ha, ha, oh ... ha, ha.

Was it awful for you ?

You must have been so lonely. Is that why you married her ?

I'm sorry.

I, I'm very selfish.

Sitting here thinking about myself, about my reaction;

not really even trying to comprehend what you're going through.

I'll tell you what ...

You haven't seen the new plastic surgery atrium.

It's beautiful.

Let's get out of here. Let me share that with you.

The new wing ?

They were just getting ready to break ground.

It's like somebody put the world on fast-forward.

There's ... Uh ... Mike ?

The doctor who's a genius at chins.

Mike Fiske. Let's say "hello".

You can't say, "hello." He was at the funeral.

I love what they're wearing; My kind of clothes.

It's like an invasion from westport.

The attack of the understated.

Simplicity is in.

Oh yes, are housewives in ?

Well ... The housewife look is in.

Warmth, hominess ... It was Kim's concept. It's really taking off.

The smartest, toughest women, want to make a sweet, maternal fashion statement.

Hi !

This isn't funny.

What is this ? A mask ? A double ?

I don't think this is funny at all.

Right !

Oh, mom ...

Oh, mom !

Oh, look at the herbs !

My Rosemary, my basil ...

Honey, they never grew like this for me.

They're just beautiful; Everything is.

Thanks.

Mom, did dad tell you ...

Kim ? Don't worry.

Once he thinks it over, it'll be fine.

A lot can happen in a year ... With me, for instance.

I know, but your dad was never one of those guys

trying to feel young again by having a meaningful relationship

with a Swedish airline stewardess. I died.

People tend to view that as final.

You live here ?

It's been a wonderful year.

Oh ... I didn't mean ...

Oh, I know. I'm so proud of you.

You should be. Remember that chocolate mush cake ?

Yeah.

This is felicity glick, the great restaurateur.

Hi.

... and my wife. Your wife ?

I thought you were dead.

[ Laughing ]

Look at this kitchen !

My California fruit crate labels.

You really kept me with you, didn't you ?

Yeah.

I can just see you ...

Clipping parsley out of my pots in the restaurant,

thinking about your late mother.

Oh !

You cleaned ? This is cleaning, right ?

My son is cleaning ?

I never thought I'd live to see the day.

Actually, I didn't.

I don't think you've realized the importance of what's happened.

He's right.

It's earth shattering.

If news got out about what aunt Zelda did ...

It would change the way people look at life.

By any chance, do you know what's happened on "knots landing ?"

Do you know what happened to the panties ...

Hi !

It's a little more rapid but not very different.

Why did you walk out this morning ?

I had all those tests set up.

I'm sorry.

I, I wanted ... oh !

Oh, oh, oh.

Just sit down.

I'll be fine.

Let me see.

It's okay.

Ow !

Ta da !

Oh, my locket.

Look at this.

That's my son at 6 months old.

He looks just like you with no teeth.

Where'd you get this ? From Dr. plastique.

He wanted to know if I wanted any of your personal effects.

This had the strongest emanations.

Sometimes you can get incredibly powerful vibrations from old bras,

but yours just had a slight hum.

Well, I have to see a man about a unicorn.

Tomorrow morning; 8:30 at the hospital; No breakfast.

Yes ?

Bring your first morning specimen.

Okay.

Doctor !

I know you think I'm batty, but that's okay.

Lucy, who's known me longer than anybody,

thinks I'm not dealing with a full deck,

even though I brought her back.

My problem is I have something very important that I have to tell her.

There was a footnote in "the wisdom of catagonia."

It says that she has to find true love

before the 1st full moon after her return,

or she has to go back.

You know, that's really very sweet of you

to act as matchmaker ...

I'm not acting as a matchmaker !

She has less than a month !

I need your advice.

Would knowing what might happen ...

Make her feel insecure ?

Should I tell her ?

No.

If you did, she would wear herself out

running around looking for true love.

Ah ... and that is the surest way not to find it.

Absolutely.

Thanks. Your welcome.

Bye.

Lucy ! What are you doing here ?

My contribution to medical research.

Dr. scanlon has arranged tests.

Lucy, you can't be seen here !

If you have those tests and word gets out ...

What's in it for scanlon ? Why is he so interested ?

Life after death isn't an overworked area of medical research.

Admit it, we had a wonderful marriage.

I was very content.

You make it sound like you were married to a cow.

No, no, no !

There's something to be said for ...

Heat.

What's wrong with you ? Amnesia ?

Is writing about Italian knitwear more important

than keeping a house and raising a child ?

You're a fine, fine person.

You're my husband !

You know something ?

You really are. We're not divorced.

I spoke with my attorney. You're right.

We aren't legally divorced,

but you're legally dead.

My God !

I'm sorry.

Ow ! No ... oh !

Jason, I'm sorry.

Let me get you something. Oh, God !

Is it bleeding ?

Here, here ... No. No, I'm fine.

How could you have married her ?

I hate to say this, but I have to live

on a broader canvas.

A broader ...

I am not some floozy you found at an arty cocktail party, damn it.

I am your wife !

Shhhh !

You have got to get out of here.

No, no, no. Out of town !

Can't you see that this could be devastating ?

It's already devastating.

Arizona ?

I don't know anyone in Arizona.

That's the point ! Go someplace where nobody knows you.

Where you can start a new life; Use another name.

I like chadman.

Lucy, I have a new life,

and it's marvelous.

I was given a second chance;

a nice clean second chance.

And, uh, I grabbed it.

You know what you grabbed ?

Glitz ! No !

Yes, true glitz.

Listen to me. It's your turn.

Come on, you must want to be something.

Why spend the rest of your life talking to a mop.

Stop thinking small. Look at this !

Live life to the fullest.

Think to yourself, "Lucy,I can be anything !"

Oh !

You're right, Jason.

I can be anything.

I've got some tests to do.

See you around, doctor.

Am I normal ?

Well, your tissue is behaving like normal human tissue.

Good.

It'd be a shame if you turned into something hairy with fangs.

You don't do you ?

Grrrr !

I'm asking you,

because I have to make plans for my life.

I have to know how long I'm going to be around.

I wish I could give you a guarantee,

but I think, like the rest of us, you could be here for 50 years ...

Or you could be here for 5 minutes.

Returning from the dead was a cinch. Life is exhausting.

You walked out on me.

Come on. Get your clothes on. Stay where you are.

Don't you understand what he's up to ?

He is going to use you as a Guinea pig.

Then, he's going to write you up and publish it

in the creme de LA creme of medical journals.

He wants to be a star.

You're full of it. I'm a doctor.

Listen to me. Don't you see what a fantastic chance this is ?

We work ourselves until we're punchy for one reason.

That is to beat out death.

Even though in the end we know we've got to lose.

You won Lucy.

If there's anything about death that you can tell us,

we've got to find out.

This is my new life now, Jason.

The one you said you didn't want to be part of.

Excuse us, we're kind of busy.

I mean it.

Did you always want to be a doctor ?

Ever since I was a kid in Ireland.

I was one of those ambitious tenement kids that charities love.

So I came here on a medical scholarship.

I found out that being a doctor is the greatest thing in the world.

Only thing is, it doesn't leave time for anything else.

You never had time to get married ?

I was married, once. She left me.

Why ?

She wanted a family; Kids.

I couldn't give her that.

Why not ?

You don't seem emotionally defective.

I'm not. I'm normal.

Well, I'm semi-normal.

I'd be working for 3 days and forget to call.

She could never take that.

What about you ?

Was your marriage good ?

Is lack of laughter grounds for divorce ?

If you had to do it over again ...

I do.

This time I want something better.

How about you ?

Have you had any serious relationships since your ...?

I had one that lasted 3 hours.

Uh huh.

Seriously, the only thing I'm interested in;

that I care about, is my work.

What do you think so far ?

Has it occurred to that I'm something more than a Guinea pig ?

Oh, yeah. You're a normal human being with feelings.

Breathe.

I am a human being.

So am I.

Hi.

I'm alive !

I can't believe I got custody of flippy without major litigation.

Are you kidding ? The last thing Kim wanted in there,

was something warm.

We're lucky Kim didn't have her stuffed and sprayed silver.

Happy garden daycare.

Hi, I was wondering if you have any job openings.

I'm an accredited teacher.

I'm sorry, we have all the help we need.

Didn't one of your employees die about a year ago ?

Wasn't that sad. She was marvelous.

We replaced her a few weeks later.

Thanks for calling. [Dial tone]

My life just hasn't been the same since my death.

I was just in the neighborhood, buying some groceries, ...

Hi, I was just in the neighborhood, getting groceries, and ...

Hi.

I was just in the neighborhood, getting a few groceries,

and taking her for a walk.

So I thought I'd give you an update on my job hunting.

Are you crazy ?

Huh ?

Walking by yourself

at this hour, in this neighborhood ?

I had flippy.

Flippy.

May I put a couple things in your refrigerator ?

Yeah, sure.

If you don't mind ...

Oh, that's cute.

How old is this butter ?

Now, what about your job ?

I went over to the board of education.

According to their records, I'm dead.

As far as my old volunteer job goes, I might as well be.

But I have a great idea --

a day-care center at knickerbocker hospital.

Why not ?

Because you'll never get the money.

Sure, everybody's crazy about kids and daycare,

as long as it's somewhere else, and doesn't cost any money.

Well ...

If I talk to them ... Explain ?

I've sat on hospital committees.

Everybody says, "let's have a daycare center. Terrific idea."

And we move on real fast to computerizing

the anesthesiology records for 1900.

What's this ?

Uh ...

It's for flippy.

Give it to flippy.

Are you trying to get me to fall in love with the dog ?

And then with you ?

It's ...

So ridiculous ...

We are so completely wrong for each other.

I know what you need.

"Divorced, workaholic doctor,

"seeks sexy, emotionally-stunted nonsmoker

for profoundly superficial relationship."

Not profoundly.

But I'm not making commitments.

Right.

Right.

Well, I wish it could be some other way.

Okay.

I wish you well.

The knickerbocker hospital spends $35 million on a wing

so you can get your wrinkles ironed out in style.

But not $20 for a throw-rug and a set of blocks.

Damn it, zel, that's not how the world should work.

[ Zelda ] Wow !

If you like grandeur,

this place isn't bad.

Kim lived here ?

[ Lucy ] Yeah, when she was married to Hastings Lacey, sr.

Love at first sight --

she knew she loved him, the minute she saw the house.

[ Buzzer ]

This may be the worst idea I ever had.

Hello, I'm ...

You're dead !

I'm sorry ...

How nice of you to drop by.

They said you were dead.

I'm sorry we bothered you. It was wrong to come.

No, no. Come in. You were nice.

Thank you.

I'd like to introduce my sister --

Zelda.

Hastings Lacey, Jr.

[ Romantic music ]

Would you like to join me for a bit of lunch ?

I had a few qualms about coming,

but you're the only friendly millionaire I ever saw.

I'm a billionaire.

Right.

Am I embarrassing you by talking about your money ?

No, people always pretend to like me for my personality.

Well, I like you for your personality.

Your personality ...

And more.

I came here because I need a job,

and the best job I can think of

is working in a daycare center.

What better place for one, than a hospital like knickerbocker ?

She's right.

Except her ex-husband is there.

But he's so busy sculpting ears

or calling his tailor ...

Zel ...

And then there's this emergency room guy --

he has these terrific emanations

that just make her aura glow.

And her psychic-powers ...

Just like that !

Zelda.

Zelda !

This has nothing to do with men.

This has to do with children.

The hospital really needs a daycare center.

They don't have one ?

There's no money for one.

So I thought I'd come to you and ask if you'd ...

Of course.

Anything for ...

[ Humming ]

[ Bang ]

Could you look at the circuit breaker ?

It keeps popping off.

Yeah, sure.

I thought you were the electrician.

Congratulations.

You got the money.

Thanks.

Listen ...

A friend of yours left something at my place

and I think you should have it back.

Thanks.

Come on, Lucy.

Hello.

Is anybody here ?

Oh !

Dr. scanlon, I'm Regina hope --

Bruce hope's wife.

The entire hospital is in an uproar about an investigation

about the death of Lucy ...

Oh, my God !

Forgive me.

I'm going to call Liz Smith,

and give her the scoop of a lifetime.

[ Loud crowd noise ]

Gentlemen, gentlemen ...

And ladies ...

Please !

I assure you that we are as astounded as anyone else.

You've heard the reports of our doctors,

and you may examine the results of our tests.

So, after another question,

over here !

What's it feel like to be unique ?

Please understand --

this was a complete surprise to me.

I skipped breakfast,

got over-inthusiastic about a Korean chicken ball,

and ended up on top of my tombstone,

instead of underneath it.

People are going to be disappointed

that you don't remember anything.

Uh ...

Well, I ...

I'm a little disappointed, too.

Because I'd love to remember

you know, a corridor with a ...

With my grandmother, Rosie, holding out her hands,

and saying, "now I can teach you how to crochet."

Do you have anything to say

to the billions of people around the world ?

Hello, again.

Zelda, you spoke about the requirements

for bringing somebody back,

it seems so complicated.

Well, transcending death can be a little tricky.

[ Laughter ]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.

Thank you for coming.

[ Multiple questions at the same time ]

Lucy.

Lucy, how can I help ?

I'm sorry. I have to go to the "little girl's" room.

Oh !

You know, Dr. scanlon,

you're not so great at commitments,

but you're a genius at emergencies.

Don't worry. By next week there'll be a new scandal,

and it will be "Lucy who ?"

[ Multiple questions from the press at the same time ]

[ Siren ]

Was there a white light ?

No, but we went through a couple of red ones.

A warm golden glow ?

Thanks for the lift !

Did you meet any guys ?

Come on in.

Where's my sister ?

Which one are you ?

The one who got brung back ?

Or the one who brought ?

The one who got brung.

I got someone I gotta bring back fast.

Someone you love very much ?

An associate had an unfortunate accident.

He ran into a bullet.

I ain't like those crazies outside

who want to bring back their cat, fluff.

I can pay ... Big.

You have to love him.

Purely.

Love him ??

Nobody could love seymore, the scuz.

But if you want him back,

you'd have to learn to love him.

Utter love.

Utter ?

Yeah, may I recommend "the elixir of enlightenment" ?

On the house.

Utter love ?

You got it !

I have to talk to you about true love.

You have no idea how important it is.

Yes, I do.

True love is wonderful.

I'm glad you found it. You deserve it.

You forgot your crystal ball.

I feel like a jerk, leaving you.

But I can't open the store.

I can't even open the door.

You're doing the right thing by going to junior's.

Why don't you come with me ?

His house is a fortress.

Nobody could get past those gates.

I don't want to live in a fortress.

I wanna go to the movies,

go to b. Altman's white sale,

I wanna ...

Find your own true love.

I want to walk down the street

with someone.

Dr. scanlon.

Someone ! Someday !

You're so pushy.

Excuse me.

I work here.

Hey baby, how about lunch ?

Eat your heart out.

That's Lucy with a wig !

Well.

That look has real possibilities.

I've a date for lunch. Think it's too much ?

Can I have your coat ?

What ?

Can I have your coat ?

Sorry to bother you.

This was the safest place close to the door.

I'm going up to the daycare center, if it takes all day.

You want me to lead the way ?

No, thank you.

I can take care of myself.

[ TV ] It's Lucy, wearing a wig.

[ Click ] But even in that short time

the Lucy-Zelda industry has gone into high gear.

With Lucy in the public domain,

it's a happy day for commerce.

But the hope ...

[ Click ] [ Foreign language TV ]

If you'll observe the slow-motion replay,

you'll note that ...

Typical Lucy.

What a klutz.

[ TV ] And in essence, resonates on a truly cosmic scale.

So you see, Professor,

this is no more an accident, than you were.

I thought I'd be famous for 15 ...

Okay, 20 minutes.

And that would be it.

I'll just have to figure out

a way to end this craziness.

Lucy ?

I've been trying to track you down.

Hi, guys.

This place is really cooking !

[ Lucy ] Something wrong ?

I'm a little tired.

Life in the fast Lane can wear a guy out.

Okay.

What's up ?

I've been thinking about you a lot.

Do you know why ?

Sure. I'm on CBS, nbc, abc, pbs, and CNN.

Lucy, you're too loving for that.

Um.

I ...

The truth is

I have begun to question Kim's values.

No.

Yeah.

Come up with any answers ?

I want you.

You had me.

We could give it another try.

I don't want someone who puts off foreplay

until he finds a padded hanger for his cashmere coat.

If the reporters disappeared, would you really want me ?

I, uh ...

I think ...

I would.

At least I remember why I used to love you.

[ Lucy telling a story ]

Hello.

Hi.

Where are the rest of your 85,000 kids ?

All the parents, except Debbie's, pulled them out.

They were afraid the children would be frightened

by the crowds and the reporters.

I can't blame them.

Excuse us, Debbie.

What's happening, Dr. scanlon ?

Everything okay downstairs ?

Dr. scanlon,

they told me you might be here.

You're presence in the emergency room

is such a magnet to the press

that it has caused complete upheaval.

I've been trying to tell you.

We request that you take indefinite leave.

Your leave starts today.

This is absolute nonsense.

I have to do something.

Like what ?

Just one quote.

A comment from you ? Get out !

What is your response to Kim Lacey chadman's press conference ?

Have you heard what she's planning to say ?

Will you be there to prove you're not a fraud ?

Where was Lucy chadman for the year of her death ?

Dead ?

Please.

She spent that year at her sister's.

Why should we believe you ?

Because I make sense.

I make sense.

Any why did Lucy do what she did ?

Because she realized

she was obsolete.

She confided to me before her so-called death

that her husband --

my husband, now --

my Jason --

wanted more of a life,

more of a career,

and, frankly, more of a wife.

Boy did he strike out.

How did she fake her so-called death ?

She was a doctor's wife.

She had access to medicines to lower her respiratory rate,

and slow her heartbeat,

so that even a trained physician could be fooled.

There's no medicine like that.

We don't believe it.

There is --

tetrodotoxin.

The so-called voodoo medicine.

It lowers a person's metabolic rate

so significantly

that they appear dead.

Is it really such a leap of the imagination

to picture Lucy bribing a funeral director

to bury an empty coffin ?

We've all been had.

Well, Lucy,

do you have a defense ?

We won't accept "trust me, I'm sweet.

I bake apple crumb cake."

[ Loud crowd noise ]

[ Reporter ] What have you got to say, Lucy ?

Give me a minute, please.

Just give me a minute, please !

[ Crowd becomes quiet ]

I have nothing to say.

I'm yesterday's news.

Kim is your girl.

We're free. Are you crazy ?

What ?

What's wrong ?

Kevin, I did this for you.

For Zelda, Danny, and all of us.

To give us some peace.

Don't you realize what you've done ?

Yes. We've got the press off our back.

The hospital administration thinks I'm an idiot.

Oh, ...

I thought it would help.

Mrs. chadman,

your services are no longer required.

Excuse me.

Is this guy a friend of yours ?

He looks lonely.

Are you lying to children, now ?

Come on, Jane.

I've been cordially dis-invited

to the opening of the new plastic surgery wing.

I was sure that when people lost interest,

I'd have a normal life, again.

I know everyone stopped coming to your restaurant.

And Zelda -- people think you're crazier than ever.

Kevin's going to lose his job.

He won't even talk to me.

Oh, boy.

This is some crummy life.

So what are you going to do ?

Fight back.

You know, we could do something.

Something big.

Yeah.

Yoo hoo.

Look who's here.

Oh, my God.

What a marvelous party.

I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

May I have one of those ?

Bless her heart. The press is here.

The spotlight is like a narcotic.

Hi, Jason, Kim, Phineas, etc.

Lovely to see all of you.

She must be drunk.

High on life, honey.

Hi ...

Hi. Hi.

What are you doing here ?

I'm a department head until they find somebody else.

I don't think that's going to happen.

I want her out of here. She'll ruin my party.

Excuse me.

I have to go cause some trouble.

Disbelievers !

I will prove my power.

[ Chants ] Mah-nah-tu-ree kalabee-santee.

Hastings !

Gol-do !

Win-ja !

Mah-nah-tu-ree,

kalabee-santee.

Hastings !

Gol-do !

Win-ja !

Kim, when Hastings died, was it before his time ?

[ Chanting ]

[ Chanting ]

Here goes nothing.

[ In a masculine Texas accent ] Kimmie-pie !

Lucile, stop this.

Your hasty-pudding's come back, darling.

Is that Hastings senior ?

Uh huh.

Did I summon you ?

Uh huh.

And you're here talking through Lucy ?

Uh huh.

Kimmie.

What is this ?

She's his channel.

He's taken her over.

I've bay from you for 3 years,

and this is the hello I get ?

Kimmie, kimmie, kimmie !

Stop this, Lucy.

How many times did I put my arms around you,

and say "trust me.

Trust me, rose petal."

How'd you know that name ?

Miss me, little kimmie ?

Remember our last night together ?

You weren't wearing nothing

except your cowgirl boots.

The red ones with the spurs.

Stop it !

Stop right now !

This is just a fake. Come on.

No !

Only Hastings could have known about those boots.

Hastings !

Kimmie !

Beat it, white bread.

It is you.

Yes, darling.

I swear I didn't know that you'd get that carried away.

I'm so sorry.

You were worth it, darling.

I gave you such pleasure and you left me nothing !

I come back to make it up to you.

You did ?

Junior !

You been porking up, son.

Looks good on you.

Okay, listen up.

Everything in my secret safe --

in the wine cellar behind the chateau d' yuccum --

your favorite wine.

That's the one.

Everything's for my kimmie.

Emeralds, rubies, sapphires --

and some nice negotiable securities.

Securities.

Everything's for kimmie. Got that, junior ?

But I don't know the combination, dad.

Useless !

Kimmie, time's growing short.

The combination is ...

What ?

The combination is ...

What's doing that to him, her ?

You. Me ?

You've turned the world against her.

Kim, the channel has to be free -- unblocked.

How ?

Clear the channel, Kim.

That's right, Kim. Unclog the channel.

No more lies !

Lies ?

Lies ??

Okay, maybe I lied.

What lie ?

My channel's in distress.

I'm starting to fade.

Kimmie, help me.

Help me to help you.

Negotiable securities.

Lucy did die.

Again ? It's hard to hear from out here.

Lucy did die and come back !

Lucy's being famous was so irritating.

Forgive me for lying.

What's the combination ?

[ As Lucy ] I give up, what is it ?

[ Laughter ]

How did you know his pet name for me ?

On the picture in your office.

[ Lucy ] It says "to my rose [ Kim ] Petal with love, forever."

What about those damned boots ?

Two months after he married you,

my father said, "junior, I can't resist a girl

"who has the impudence

"to visit me every single night wearing red cowgirl boots

and spurs ... And nothing else."

[ Laughter ]

I'm sorry.

I hope you'll forgive us.

Let's go home.

Lucy !

In all those years I never understood

how terrific you can be.

Thanks, Jason.

Lucy !

That was amazing trouble you caused.

You were terrific.

Thanks. I'm glad you'll get your job back.

Lucy !

You got a 2nd chance. Give me one.

Oh, Kevin ...

Let's go get that dumb dog of yours.

For a walk, or for life ?

Are you really ready for me to bring the rubber bone ?

Yeah, the rubber bone, the dog biscuits, everything.

What a dowry.

I love you, Lucy.

I love you, too.

True love, finally.

Flippy will be so excited.

She hasn't stopped talking about you since our 1st visit.

Kevin ...

One more thing.

Can I take my shoes off ?

Okay.

I beg your pardon.

Watch the cake !

[ Laughter ]

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