Original subtitles

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild

♪ I ain't from 'round here

♪ I'm from another dimension

♪ Gonna get a little weird

♪ Gonna have a good time

♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪

♪ I'm from another, woo-hoo

♪ Yeh-heah

♪ I'm talking rainbows

♪ I'm talking puppies

♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild

♪ I ain't from 'round here

♪ I'm from another dimension

♪ I just called back to say

♪ Happy birthday on your birthday day ♪

♪ Happy birthday on your birthday day! ♪

And there's a special delivery

comin' right your way.

- Your favorite. - Wow!

Only the best for the best bestie

a best bestie could have.

Oh, my goodness!

Thank you so much, B-Fly.

I mean, a princess such as myself

could never indulge in such confections.

But would you please donate them

to the starving Bartindles of Galafamor on my behalf?

Did you bump your uni-horn again?

Girl, you know we can't receive packages here at

St. Olga's School For Wayward Princesses.

( shrieks ) Get out, get out, get out!

B-Fly?

I can't even stand to hear the name of that place.

( shuddering )

Oh, please, you gots to be chill, B-Fly.

I'm the one doing hard time here.

I know, but if you weren't there,

we could totally party it up.

Rainbow tea at the Dowager Room,

sliding down the twisty slopes of Zalla Mountain,

then dancing all night long at the Bounce Lounge.

Oh, heck yeah, girl.

That would be the best birthday day ever! Boom!

- ( metallic creaking ) - Oh, no.

I expressed my individuality and publicly showed an emotion.

And that's my third strike.

Oh, no, no, please. No, no!

They're sending me to the solitary conforment chamber.

Pony Head!

Oh, you don't deserve this!

Ready to take out life's frustrations

on some ill-intentioned monsters?

( loud sobbing ) This is terrible!

Best friends don't let best besties

have bad birthday days.

( blows loudly )

And Pony Head is having the worst one ever.

Pony Head? Yeah, I'm outta here.

Marco, we have to get her out of that prison.

Oh, a breakout.

Why didn't you say so?

- Wait, isn't St. O's-- - ( shrieks )

St. O., St. O., St. O.!

Uh, we haven't even left yet.

Sorry.

What's that under your rug?

I have no idea. But I do know one thing.

Never, ever step on it.

Let's get back to that breakout thing.

But no one's ever escaped from there.

I've seen every prison escape movie made.

We only need three things.

Patience, brains, and the ever-famous,

multi-faceted bobby pin.

Or we use my dimensional scissors to go

straight to her cell and get her the heck outta there.

Uh, this isn't Pony Head's cell.

Huh. I'm usually pretty accurate with these things.

- ( horses whinnying ) - ( exclaiming )

Ah, yes, the newbies have arrived.

Welcome to St. Olga's School For Wayward Princesses.

( thunder crashing )

- ( screaming ) - New arrivals?

If we could just blend in somehow,

we could sneak in unnoticed.

All we need is a--

Radiant shadow transport!

Whoa! Do me. Do me.

Radiant shadow transport!

You couldn't turn me into one of those guards

with the cool masks?

I don't know.

Pink is definitely your color.

Single file.

Miss Heinous is eager to start

the reformation process.

( squealing ) Marco.

Try not to blow our cover.

MAN: Don't allow your noble lineage to be thrown away.

Here at the tried and trusted St. Olga's...

...we have a plethora of foolproof security measures.

No dimensional scissors, no magic, no boys...

...and etiquette are the main focus for...

...your troubled, wayward princess.

( woman whispering ) Wayward princess.

We turn undisciplined behavior

into perfection.

That free-thinking, one-in-a-million brat

will become a one-of-a-million

emotionless rubber stamp

that your bloodline can count on.

Every one of you is here for a reason.

Too wild.

Too opinionated.

Too bubbly.

As part of a noble lineage,

you don't have the luxury of being an individual.

So by the time I'm done with you,

you'll all be fixed.

Every last one of you,

whether you're from Pixtopia,

or Mewni.

And don't even think about escaping.

These are useless.

We have a Tramorfidian Crystal in Tower 3.

No rift can sustain itself within our walls.

So you might as well cough up the scissors you smuggled in.

( all groaning )

It's totally hopeless.

Once we get Pony Head and disable that crystal thing,

those are our ticket outta here.

That concludes your orientation.

I'm confident that you'll all become

perfect princesses.

One way or another.

Now to get everyone checked in

so we can start sucking the individuality out of you.

( high-pitched voice ) I hear the first one checked in

gets her own room.

( all exclaiming )

Respect the queue.

Respect the queue!

- This place isn't what I thought-- - Sh!

Yeah, breaking out Pony Head

is gonna be a breeze.

It's just a high-surveillance prissy finishing school.

No, Marco, it's worse than I imagined. Look.

♪ When your heart is filled with sunshine ♪

♪ And you're feeling oh so free ♪

♪ All of life is just divine ♪

♪ And the world is full of glee ♪

( whistling )

You know the kind of girls who get sent here.

They can totally benefit from this.

( bird continues whistling )

No, no, no.

You're not leaving until you get this right.

You know, this place has some seriously luxurious digs.

Have you gone mad?

Come on.

Look at the intricate floral ornamentation on that armoire.

( gasps ) The rich mahogany of the canopy bed.

And there's enough velvet on that bedspread for me to swim in.

- Don't you see what's going on here? - Dancing?

Let's just find Pony Head and get outta here.

There she is.

Let's blow down the door so we can get outta here.

No. We gotta do this quietly,

without drawing any attention.

( loudly ) ♪ I am here 'cause I have to say ♪

♪ Happy birthday on your birthday day ♪

Do you wanna get us caught?

Sorry. Pony Head.

Hey, it's us, here to break you out,

so we can party.

- Ah! - My deepest apologies,

but I must abstain,

as partying is for the unrefined.

That's not the Pony Head I know and love.

I got this.

Hey, Pointy Head. It's Earth Turd.

Such language belongs in the gutters of Galafamor.

You know, I kinda like her better this way.

Snap out of it, Pony Head.

Snap out of it!

( laughs ) Would you care for some crumpets?

See, Marco, this is what they do to you here.

Relax. Once we disable that crystal thing and get her outta here,

she'll finally be a benefit to society.

What are you doing?

I saw this in a prison movie.

Escape From Jail Mountain.

Trust me, this'll save our hides,

just like it saved Hank Innocent.

It's clear.

Oh, escaping is inappropriate.

Guards. Guards!

Guards! Yoo-hoo, guards.

Hey, stop!

Keep your pinkies at 90 degrees.

More tea, please.

Keep your pinkies at 90 degrees.

More tea, please. Keep your pinkies at...

This is worse than my worst nightmare.

Yeah. I see what you mean.

Keep your pinkies at 90 degrees.

Why are you saying that?

You don't even have pinkies.

- Come on. - ( chanting continues )

More tea, please.

He's right on us.

Are we gonna blast our way out of this?

No. That'll only increase the heat on us.

We need some kind of distraction.

Well, they are not getting my individuality.

That's it.

It's not criminal to be an individual.

Come on. It's not criminal

to be an individual.

It's not criminal to be an individual.

ALL: It's not criminal to be an individual.

That should buy us some time.

( chanting continues )

Tee-hee. He got scolded.

She's laughing at an authority figure.

I think the real Pony Head's still in there.

An uprising?

In my institution?

Put St. O.'s on full lockdown

and find the free thinker who initiated this.

We will quell this uprising in its infancy.

Quell, quell.

Is that right?

Someone get a thesaurus.

Wrong way.

Quick. Find a place to hide.

There she is. Get her.

Oh!

We've stifled the uprising.

Soon we'll find those responsible

and stifle them in a solitary conforment chamber.

Here's our latest success story.

The once-wayward Princess Pony Head

is now a model student, reborn.

Yes. I'm glad we stifled the uprising.

You know, stifled isn't working for me either.

Prepare the chamber.

I'm leading this princess hunt myself.

MARCO: What is this place?

STAR: I don't know.

( dogs barking )

We gotta move.

There. I'll see you at the bottom.

My poufy dress won't fit.

Marco!!

Something's got my stockings.

( screaming )

( screaming )

( laughing )

Marco. You gotta help me save him.

I can't do this alone.

A princess who misbehaves will be saved

in the solitary conforment chamber.

Why can't you remember who you are?

( door slams )

Really? What?

The proper hat for the event

lest you be a malcontent.

Everyone will admire

the princess who does not perspire.

'Tis better to be fussy

than to be called a hussy.

Ugh. I can smell her free spirit

through the safety glass. Full power.

So this is how it ends.

On a cold checkered floor

by a pile of soiled linens,

wearing an eye patch.

"Embrace a princess mentality.

Wash away your individuality"?

Embrace this!

( sobbing )

( laughing )

Yeah. That feels so good! Whoo!

Pony Head? You're back!

Oh, you know it. Now let's go destroy something else.

I don't even care what it is.

( Marco screaming )

Ooh, hold it. I'd recognize that girly scream anywhere.

That's Earth Turd.

Yep. Heinous got him.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Isn't he your best bestie? - Yeah.

On Earth. I'm still your best bestie overall, right?

- Come on. - ( Marco screaming )

Open that vent.

Keep screamin', Marco.

Proper throne posture. ( screams )

Yes. We are extinguishing that rebellious spirit.

Make it stop!

( screaming )

I'm blasting our way outta here, Marco. You cool with that?

Where did she get that wand?

( screams )

Gotcha, Marco.

Now let's get the heck outta here.

Are they gonna let me keep the dress?

Shoo. Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.

- Go away! - Your cheeks.

No. Stop it, stop it.

You saw nothing.

A princess always maintains her poise.

I'm glad you're back to normal, by the way.

Aw, you too.

Now I can make fun of your ugly dress.

It's not criminal to be an individual.

ALL: It's not criminal to be an individual.

Man, I can't believe it, but you sure worked

some turd magic on these girls.

They are in it.

Yeah, you really started something.

My work here is not done.

My fellow wayward sisters, I'll show you the way.

They want you to be a rubber-stamp princess.

I saw we stamp on them!

( yelling )

There's the tower.

Raspberry Panzerfaust!

Looks like that did the job.

Let's get outta here. Whoa.

Whoa!

Time's a-wastin'.

If we hurry, we can still catch DJ Jump-Jump's set

- at the Bounce Lounge. - Girl, I ain't goin' nowhere.

The Bounce Lounge ain't got nothin' on this party.

But it's your birthday day.

You gave me the best gift ever,

and it's called,

getting me my groove back.

Look at me. It's back, babe.

BOTH: Hugs.

So you wanna stay here?

Oh, I gotta.

I can't let what happened to me

happen to anyone else. Right, Princess Turdina?

Get on with your bad self, my wayward sister.

Yeah! I'm gonna go bite some of those robot guards

- on their faces. - Bite one for me.

Okay, Marco, I conquered my biggest fear,

I grew as a person, yada yada yada.

Let's get outta here and never come back.

If your elbows are on the table,

you belong in a stable.

There.

All better.

Hmm.

I will find the rabble rousers

responsible for this and annihilate them!

Annihilate.

That's the verb I've been looking for.

♪ I think Earth is a pretty great place ♪

♪ That's saying something

♪ 'Cause I've been through outer space ♪

♪ I think it suits me, it's just my style ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna stay a little while ♪

♪ I think that strangers are just friends ♪

♪ You haven't met

♪ I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat ♪

♪ I'm really thinking I could call this place home ♪