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1
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♪ love and marriage ♪
2
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:21,219
♪ love and marriage ♪
3
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:24,589
♪ go together like
a horse and carriage ♪
4
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:28,760
♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪
5
00:00:28,761 --> 00:00:30,662
♪ you can't have one ♪
6
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:33,197
♪ without the other ♪
7
00:00:33,198 --> 00:00:35,299
♪ love and marriage ♪
8
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:38,603
♪ love and marriage ♪
9
00:00:38,604 --> 00:00:42,641
♪ it's an institute
you can't disparage ♪
10
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:46,377
♪ ask the local gentry ♪
11
00:00:46,378 --> 00:00:51,082
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
12
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:56,121
♪ try, try, try
to separate them ♪
13
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:59,390
♪ it's an illusion ♪
14
00:00:59,391 --> 00:01:02,093
♪ try, try, try ♪
15
00:01:02,094 --> 00:01:07,899
♪ and you will only come
to this conclusion ♪
16
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,301
♪ love and marriage ♪
17
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,514
Gee, you know, I have
this funny feeling
18
00:01:23,515 --> 00:01:24,883
We forgot something.
19
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,818
Bud, do you have
that shopping list?
20
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,156
Let's see.
21
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:34,959
Bread, milk, juice, eggs,
cereal...
22
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,561
That's what we forgot.
23
00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:38,596
We forgot to do
the grocery shopping.
24
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,634
Oh, well.
25
00:01:43,635 --> 00:01:45,170
Nice jacket, mom.
26
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,337
Yeah.
27
00:01:46,338 --> 00:01:49,640
It was expensive,
but it's daddy's money.
28
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:54,813
[car drives up]
29
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:55,847
Ooh. It's daddy.
30
00:02:06,291 --> 00:02:08,259
Okay. Who went shopping?
31
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:12,396
Shopping?
32
00:02:12,397 --> 00:02:13,598
Not us.
33
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:14,799
We've been here all day.
34
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,967
Where did you get the jacket?
35
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:18,903
Oh, this old thing?
36
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:21,539
How was your day, honey?
37
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,074
Oh, great.
Only worked half a day.
38
00:02:23,075 --> 00:02:25,476
Stopped to get something to eat.
Whipped out the ol' credit card.
39
00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:27,445
They whipped out
the ol' scissors
40
00:02:27,446 --> 00:02:28,980
And cut it in half.
41
00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:32,117
Over-extended again.
42
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:35,720
Anyhow, I'm a little late
because I didn't have any cash,
43
00:02:35,721 --> 00:02:37,555
So to pay
for my grilled cheese,
44
00:02:37,556 --> 00:02:40,358
I had to unload lobsters
for two hours.
45
00:02:40,359 --> 00:02:42,526
Nice skateboard, bud.
46
00:02:42,527 --> 00:02:45,296
Well, bud needed
a few things for school.
47
00:02:45,297 --> 00:02:49,000
Which class needed a new jacket
for mommy?
48
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,502
It was just a cheap jacket.
49
00:02:51,503 --> 00:02:53,037
I mean, it hardly cost anything.
50
00:02:53,038 --> 00:02:57,375
You're just making a big deal
over nothing.
51
00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:58,810
You know,
I was just out shopping
52
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,344
And I wanted to get
53
00:03:00,345 --> 00:03:01,780
A little something
for everybody.
54
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,281
What did you get for me?
55
00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:05,950
Oh, that reminds me.
56
00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:11,722
Here you go, buck.
57
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:18,429
He is such a good boy.
58
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:20,698
He's a throw rug
that eats.
59
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:27,939
And gets mail! Look at this.
60
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:33,912
"buck bundy, you may have
already won $5 million."
61
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,480
My dog's on a mailing list?
62
00:03:36,481 --> 00:03:37,816
You see, dad,
63
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,117
Sometimes when you order
something in the mail,
64
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,218
Your name goes on
a mailing list.
65
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:41,920
Well, what did buck
send away for?
66
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:44,422
Kelly ordered him
a dog collar.
67
00:03:44,423 --> 00:03:46,858
It cost 40 bucks.
68
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,359
Where is kelly, by the way?
69
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,361
Oh, she's out
on a double date,
70
00:03:50,362 --> 00:03:51,830
Her and two guys.
71
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,802
Don't worry, dad.
You still got me.
72
00:03:57,803 --> 00:04:00,205
Uh, bud, what is this?
73
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,506
It looks like a new video game
I'm sitting on?
74
00:04:02,507 --> 00:04:06,010
Well, it wasn't as much
as mom's coat.
75
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:08,880
Was so.
76
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:11,049
Oh, yeah? What
about the watch?
77
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,717
Well, what about
the attitude?
78
00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:16,454
"dad'll just have
to sell more shoes"?
79
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,591
You know, when the truck
80
00:04:20,592 --> 00:04:22,460
Was taking me
to the lobster warehouse,
81
00:04:22,461 --> 00:04:25,230
I said...
82
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:28,032
I said to sven, "you think
it's all worth it, buddy?"
83
00:04:28,033 --> 00:04:29,300
And sven said,
84
00:04:29,301 --> 00:04:32,003
"when it's for the family,
it's always worth it."
85
00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:34,105
He also said that
a lobster couldn't pinch
86
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:35,974
Through
an athletic supporter.
87
00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:40,912
Sven was 0 for 2 today.
88
00:04:45,817 --> 00:04:49,187
[doorbell rings]
89
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:51,689
Next time I spend
daddy's money,
90
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:53,258
I'm spending it alone.
91
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:54,292
Hi.
92
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:57,195
This came to our house
by mistake.
93
00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:58,696
It's for you, al.
94
00:04:58,697 --> 00:04:59,730
It's for me?
95
00:04:59,731 --> 00:05:02,367
Finally,
something for me.
96
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,135
Wonder what it is.
97
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:11,209
Yodelin' andy's
train songs...
98
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,378
Yodelin' andy's
yodelin' songs...
99
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:16,580
Yodelin' andyyodels the blues...
100
00:05:16,581 --> 00:05:17,882
Best of yodelin' andy.
101
00:05:17,883 --> 00:05:22,387
Oh, and yodelin' andy's bill
for $111.
102
00:05:25,524 --> 00:05:26,590
Peg?
103
00:05:26,591 --> 00:05:27,926
Not me.
104
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:28,927
Bud?
105
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:30,128
Yeah, right.
106
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,397
That's all my record collection
was missing.
107
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,898
Now I've got something
108
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:36,767
To put between my trini lopez
and burl ives.
109
00:05:36,768 --> 00:05:39,603
It's not kelly.
Our names are spelled right.
110
00:05:39,604 --> 00:05:42,273
So...
111
00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:44,275
So, you didn't order this?
112
00:05:44,276 --> 00:05:46,610
Now, how am I going
to come up with $111?
113
00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:48,379
How am I going to pay $111?
114
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:51,015
Well, if you didn't have
that grilled cheese sandwich,
115
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:53,217
You could've put it
on your credit card.
116
00:05:53,218 --> 00:05:54,419
If your father
117
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,120
Didn't lace that lemonade
with vermouth,
118
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,488
I'd be single.
119
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,893
You don't have to pay
for those albums, al.
120
00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:04,362
The law says
121
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,964
That if you get something
you didn't order,
122
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,966
Not only
do you not have to pay for it,
123
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:10,969
But you can keep it
and use it.
124
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:14,305
That's how we got that
facts of life talking scale.
125
00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:16,807
Anyway, steve's out
gassing up his mercedes.
126
00:06:16,808 --> 00:06:18,309
Then we're going shopping.
127
00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:19,877
Want to come, peg?
128
00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:21,245
Oh, al, can I?
129
00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:22,713
Oh, sure.
130
00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:25,249
And if sven doesn't need
any more help with the lobsters,
131
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:27,085
Maybe I can get a job
in the zoo
132
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:31,089
Circumcising
the tasmanian devils.
133
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:34,092
Nobody goes shopping
till I get some more money.
134
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,094
As a matter of fact,
135
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,196
Nobody goes shopping
when I get some money
136
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:40,098
Because I'm going to apply
for more credit cards
137
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,100
In my name only.
138
00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:45,003
Marcie, now, you work at a bank.
139
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,871
You guys give out credit cards,
right?
140
00:06:46,872 --> 00:06:49,740
Uh... No.
141
00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:51,209
No, we don't.
142
00:06:52,844 --> 00:06:54,845
Well, you do give out
loans, though.
143
00:06:54,846 --> 00:06:56,614
Uh... No.
144
00:06:56,615 --> 00:06:59,350
Not anymore.
145
00:06:59,351 --> 00:07:02,387
You're thinking
of a different kind of bank, al.
146
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,423
But you're a savings and loan,
aren't you?
147
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:07,358
Well, yes, we are,
148
00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:09,227
But we just call it that,
you know,
149
00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:12,363
To get people to come in.
150
00:07:12,364 --> 00:07:14,365
Oops. I think I hear steve.
151
00:07:14,366 --> 00:07:16,867
Coming!
152
00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:19,837
Oh, steve, there you are.
153
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:24,875
We don't need her.
154
00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:26,244
We don't need either of them.
155
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:27,811
Well, actually,
we do need steve,
156
00:07:27,812 --> 00:07:31,382
Because I don't have any gas
and I don't have a credit card,
157
00:07:31,383 --> 00:07:32,650
So bud...
158
00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:33,951
We'll be needing
the siphoning hose.
159
00:07:33,952 --> 00:07:35,453
Right, dad.
160
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,456
Now, steve's gas
161
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,525
Ought to take care of us
till Thursday,
162
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:43,894
And now, I'm going to take care
of all our credit problems.
163
00:07:43,895 --> 00:07:45,096
Well, you know, honey,
164
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,497
I don't know
much about these things,
165
00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:47,932
But it seems to me
166
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:51,602
That when they take a buzz saw
to your credit card in public,
167
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:54,172
It's just their way of saying,
"get lost, deadbeat."
168
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,940
We'll just send for some
we don't have.
169
00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:57,741
How are they going
to know you broke me?
170
00:07:57,742 --> 00:07:59,544
Credit's so easy to get
these days,
171
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:00,945
These companies
will just fight
172
00:08:00,946 --> 00:08:02,913
For a new guy like me.
173
00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:05,349
Everybody said no?
174
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:14,192
No. Everybody said,
"get lost, deadbeat."
175
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:17,528
You know,
the sad part is, peg...
176
00:08:17,529 --> 00:08:18,729
I lied about my income.
177
00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:20,898
I do too, dear.
178
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,368
Hey, look.
179
00:08:24,369 --> 00:08:29,373
Here's a lingerie offer
for buck bundy.
180
00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:32,876
And our assemblyman
would like buck bundy's vote.
181
00:08:32,877 --> 00:08:35,379
And this real estate agent says,
182
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:38,882
"let me sell your house,
buck bundy."
183
00:08:38,883 --> 00:08:40,784
Is there anything there
that says,
184
00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:43,954
"we want to make a coat
out of you, buck bundy"?
185
00:08:43,955 --> 00:08:46,390
Al, you're just jealous
of the dog.
186
00:08:46,391 --> 00:08:49,360
I'm jealous of anybody
not married to you.
187
00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:57,001
Here's something I missed.
Oh, look, it's a credit card.
188
00:08:57,002 --> 00:09:00,171
Ha! See? I told you,
anybody can get a credit card.
189
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,574
Anybody did, al. It's for buck.
190
00:09:06,778 --> 00:09:09,647
And you couldn't even get
a gas card.
191
00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:16,086
Hey, bud. Buck
got a credit card.
192
00:09:16,087 --> 00:09:20,090
Wow. Dad can't even get
a gas card.
193
00:09:20,091 --> 00:09:22,593
Hey, I know what we can all do.
194
00:09:22,594 --> 00:09:24,562
Let's go down
to the water treatment plant,
195
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,063
And you can all take turns
196
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:27,431
Throwing ol' dad
in the raw sewage.
197
00:09:29,668 --> 00:09:32,102
Come on, honey. It's funny.
198
00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:35,439
I mean, buck got a credit card.
He didn't even apply for it.
199
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,042
Yeah, he didn't ask for it.
200
00:09:38,043 --> 00:09:39,343
Hey, remember what
mrs. Rhoades said
201
00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:41,546
About
those yodelin' andy records?
202
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:43,581
If they send you something
and you didn't order it,
203
00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:46,950
You can keep it, use it,
and not pay.
204
00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:52,790
Oh, al. Do you think we could?
205
00:09:52,791 --> 00:09:58,696
Well, when the bill comes,
it'll come to buck.
206
00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:01,131
What are they going to do,
sue a dog?
207
00:10:01,132 --> 00:10:03,100
Arrest him? Cuff him?
208
00:10:03,101 --> 00:10:04,635
Beat the hell out of him?
209
00:10:06,738 --> 00:10:09,507
And what if they did?
210
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:11,609
Dad, I think we've just stumbled
211
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:14,078
Onto a major
financial breakthrough here.
212
00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:17,748
You bet we did.
Good boy, buck!
213
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,149
Let's hit the stores.
214
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,820
Wait a second.
215
00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:24,222
How are we going
to get there?
216
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:25,590
I don't have any gas,
217
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,092
And gas stations
don't take these cards.
218
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:32,597
[car drives up]
219
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,765
Steve:
Marcie, I'm home!
220
00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:36,434
[door shuts]
221
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:39,937
Get the siphon hose, bud.
222
00:10:39,938 --> 00:10:41,472
We're going shopping.
223
00:10:45,243 --> 00:10:52,450
♪ yep, they call methe yodelin' maa-aan ♪
224
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:59,590
♪ I yodel whenever I caa-aan ♪
225
00:10:59,591 --> 00:11:07,531
♪ and if you tryyou can yo-o-odel too-oo ♪
226
00:11:07,532 --> 00:11:09,066
Hey, bud,
did you call your sister
227
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,468
At her grandma's
228
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,870
And tell her to hurry home
and enjoy this while it lasts?
229
00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:14,472
Oh, yeah.
230
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:16,274
I'd never forgive myself
if she missed this.
231
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:23,281
Peg, what do you
want to do tonight?
232
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:24,782
Oh, I don't know.
233
00:11:24,783 --> 00:11:26,784
All the stores are closed,
234
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:31,622
And there's never anything to do
around the house.
235
00:11:31,623 --> 00:11:33,457
Oh, I need a vacation.
236
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,625
That's not
a bad idea.
237
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:36,126
I wouldn't mind
getting out of here
238
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:37,295
For a couple of days.
239
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:40,298
Oh, gee, al, I'd love to,
240
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,301
But you know
it wouldn't be a real vacation
241
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:45,303
If we had to take...
242
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:46,837
Ud-bay.
243
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,808
She means me, dad.
244
00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,745
Oh.
245
00:11:54,746 --> 00:11:56,314
Don't worry about me.
246
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,316
You deserve a good time.
247
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,651
I'll manage... Somehow.
248
00:12:00,652 --> 00:12:03,287
Yeah, but who's going
to stay with you?
249
00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:05,556
Uh... Kelly! Yeah, yeah.
250
00:12:05,557 --> 00:12:08,091
When I called her, she said
she'd be coming home early.
251
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:09,694
Well, they've got plenty
of fancy hotels downtown.
252
00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:11,295
We could check in
to one of those
253
00:12:11,296 --> 00:12:12,697
And be only 20 minutes away.
254
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:13,897
Oh, al, could we?
255
00:12:13,898 --> 00:12:14,998
Hey.
256
00:12:14,999 --> 00:12:16,834
As long
as I'm not paying for it,
257
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:18,268
Nothing's too good
for my wife.
258
00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:24,375
♪ yodel-o-hoo
yodel-o-hoo ♪
259
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,477
♪ yodel-o-hoo
yodel-o-hoo ♪
260
00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:30,214
You know, I know someone must
have said it before, peg,
261
00:12:30,215 --> 00:12:31,515
But it's good
to be rich.
262
00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:34,284
Changes your whole
outlook on things.
263
00:12:34,285 --> 00:12:35,919
Here we are
in the same room,
264
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,488
And not once
have I thought
265
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:39,289
About sitting in the car,
closing the garage door,
266
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:43,160
And letting the engine
purr me to sleep.
267
00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:44,428
I know, sweetie.
268
00:12:44,429 --> 00:12:46,296
Many is the time
269
00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:47,565
I've thought of you
doing that too.
270
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:53,170
Well, it's all
behind us now.
271
00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:57,842
Anybody for some more
yodelin' andy?
272
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,643
You know, al,
273
00:12:59,644 --> 00:13:01,746
Maybe we should give
yodelin' andy a rest.
274
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,414
We've already
gotten complaints
275
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,215
From the neighbors
in the next suite.
276
00:13:05,216 --> 00:13:06,950
Ah, that champagne
I sent them
277
00:13:06,951 --> 00:13:08,386
Ought to shut them up.
278
00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:10,855
See, that's how rich people
shut each other up, peg.
279
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,323
[knock on door]
280
00:13:13,324 --> 00:13:14,625
Hey, you,
281
00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,761
The guy with his thumb
in my vichyssoise...
282
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:18,529
Open the door!
283
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,097
We're obnoxious,
284
00:13:20,098 --> 00:13:22,266
But we'll give you
a big tip.
285
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:23,667
Well, then, it's okay.
286
00:13:23,668 --> 00:13:25,202
If it's our children,
287
00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:29,440
Tell them
we're not here.
288
00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:31,108
Here's your bill, sir.
289
00:13:31,109 --> 00:13:33,277
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
290
00:13:33,278 --> 00:13:35,780
Peg. You got
to see this.
291
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:40,785
Oh! That's more than
you earn in a week!
292
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:45,790
And you didn't want
to get a dog!
293
00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:48,292
Let me just write in
your tip.
294
00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:50,961
Oh, sir!
295
00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:54,298
That ought to keep
you groveling.
296
00:13:54,299 --> 00:13:56,801
All right.
Let me sign it.
297
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,169
Buck bundy.
298
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,273
There you go.
299
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,750
Did you see the look
on that bellboy's face, peg?
300
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:15,920
On his face? No.
301
00:14:18,122 --> 00:14:19,490
Mr. Bundy?
302
00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:20,624
I'm bundy.
303
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:24,261
My name is hiram s. Massey.
304
00:14:24,262 --> 00:14:26,831
Sorry to disturb you
while you bathe,
305
00:14:26,832 --> 00:14:28,766
But my wife and I
306
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,501
Wanted to thank you
for the champagne.
307
00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:31,735
It's her favorite.
308
00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:33,403
Great minds drink alike.
309
00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:36,139
[laughing]
310
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,975
Where is the old bird,
anyway?
311
00:14:37,976 --> 00:14:39,009
Well,
312
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:42,212
She's a little shy.
313
00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:44,949
Come on in, hon. It's okay.
314
00:14:52,624 --> 00:14:53,891
Hi.
315
00:15:08,439 --> 00:15:11,575
Thanks for the bubbly.
316
00:15:11,576 --> 00:15:13,176
It's my favorite.
317
00:15:13,177 --> 00:15:15,112
Thank you.
318
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:18,816
But I didn't do anything.
319
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,620
Oh, yeah, you did.
320
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,857
You old dog, you!
321
00:15:26,858 --> 00:15:29,727
I could say the
same thing about you.
322
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:32,496
No, you could say
the same thing about her.
323
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,569
Gee, you have a lot of food
in here.
324
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:41,038
Hiram ordered our dinner
two hours ago,
325
00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:43,807
But they said that
all the bellboys were in here.
326
00:15:43,808 --> 00:15:45,709
Do you mind if we join you?
327
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:48,245
Sure. Dive in.
328
00:16:05,063 --> 00:16:08,999
Gee, bud, I don't know why
I've never noticed you before.
329
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,669
Yeah. You're really cute.
330
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,437
Thanks for the tvs.
331
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,842
A drop in the bucket.
332
00:16:18,843 --> 00:16:19,877
[doorbell rings]
333
00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:22,813
Oops. Must be my masseuse.
334
00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:26,116
Oh, hi, bud.
335
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:28,118
Listen, I came over
to ask your father something.
336
00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:29,587
He knows a lot about cars.
337
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,622
My new mercedes is getting
three miles per gallon.
338
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,097
Listen, mr. Rhoades,
339
00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:42,232
I hope you don't think
I'm a bad host here,
340
00:16:42,233 --> 00:16:46,203
But I'm moments away
from truly understanding hef.
341
00:16:46,204 --> 00:16:49,106
Wait a second. Where did you get
all this stuff?
342
00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:51,374
Ooh! A ski training machine.
343
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,876
We can't afford
a ski training machine.
344
00:16:52,877 --> 00:16:54,878
I'd love to have
a ski training machine.
345
00:16:54,879 --> 00:16:56,614
Yeah, sure you would,
mr. Rhoades. Bye.
346
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:57,881
Wait, wait. Wait a second.
347
00:16:57,882 --> 00:17:00,283
Bowling balls,
radios, tv sets.
348
00:17:00,284 --> 00:17:03,087
Your father is a pauper.
What's going on here?
349
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,822
Mr. Rhoades, please,
350
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:07,057
Go downstairs
and play in our wine cellar.
351
00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:11,428
According to dad,
all I need is a few minutes.
352
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:18,969
Uh, bud, I'm going to make this
short and sweet.
353
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:23,273
Your father has a lot of stuff.
I want some stuff too.
354
00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:25,475
All I want to know is,
how did he get it?
355
00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:26,910
Dad told me not to tell you.
356
00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:28,746
Bud...
357
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:30,114
Coming, dear.
358
00:17:37,288 --> 00:17:40,457
Bud, we have
to be home soon.
359
00:17:45,196 --> 00:17:47,531
But I've got all night.
360
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,101
Okay, rhoades, you win.
361
00:17:54,105 --> 00:17:55,773
They gave buck
a credit card.
362
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:57,641
Dad's using it because
he didn't ask for it,
363
00:17:57,642 --> 00:17:58,876
So he doesn't have to pay.
364
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,311
You know, like when
you get records you didn't want.
365
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:04,214
Did he happen
to sign buck's name
366
00:18:04,215 --> 00:18:05,716
To the receipts?
367
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,084
Sure.
368
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:11,354
Then it's a-prison
he'll be going.
369
00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:13,724
You might want to let him know.
370
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,258
Well, he's sort of at a hotel.
371
00:18:15,259 --> 00:18:17,761
Then he's sort of in
big trouble.
372
00:18:20,832 --> 00:18:24,334
Gee, bud,
what's the matter?
373
00:18:24,335 --> 00:18:26,603
Nothing that can't wait.
374
00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:34,945
Peggy, are you sure
375
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:36,780
You don't want
to join us in here?
376
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:40,150
No, thanks.
I'm fine right here.
377
00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:43,887
Here's your
bill, sir.
378
00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:45,189
Let me
get that.
379
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:48,125
No, no, no. My tub, my grub.
Just put it on my tab.
380
00:18:48,126 --> 00:18:49,292
Ooh!
381
00:18:49,293 --> 00:18:50,994
Oops!
382
00:18:50,995 --> 00:18:53,396
Sorry.
383
00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:59,402
Did you drop the soap again,
sweetie?
384
00:18:59,403 --> 00:19:02,672
I don't know what's wrong
with me tonight.
385
00:19:02,673 --> 00:19:04,574
Well, if you can't find
that one,
386
00:19:04,575 --> 00:19:06,443
I have a nice fresh bar
387
00:19:06,444 --> 00:19:08,411
I'm sure we could find someplace
to stick.
388
00:19:08,412 --> 00:19:09,980
Peg!
389
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,349
Now, they're guests
in our tub.
390
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:14,351
It was a total accident.
391
00:19:14,352 --> 00:19:18,488
You can look for the soap
all you want, dear.
392
00:19:18,489 --> 00:19:19,522
Ooh!
393
00:19:19,523 --> 00:19:20,423
Oops!
394
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,493
You know, bundy--
395
00:19:23,494 --> 00:19:24,828
Buck.
396
00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:27,631
Buck. I could use
a man like you.
397
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:28,766
[telephone rings]
398
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:33,103
Carlos, "el fono."
399
00:19:33,104 --> 00:19:35,505
I wish
you were available.
400
00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:38,108
I need somebody to
manage my operations
401
00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:39,009
In houston.
402
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,247
You'd be perfect.
403
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,082
You know anybody
like you
404
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:49,086
Who wouldn't mind starting out
at 100 grand a year?
405
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,821
He'll take it!
I'll take it!
406
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:51,922
Oh, now, buck,
407
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:55,025
We're talking
a lousy 100 grand here.
408
00:19:55,026 --> 00:19:56,526
Why would you want
to start over
409
00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:57,594
On the bottom?
410
00:19:57,595 --> 00:20:01,298
Oh, my husband belongs
at the bottom.
411
00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:02,900
He loves the bottom.
412
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:05,568
In fact,
he is the bottom.
413
00:20:05,569 --> 00:20:08,505
Here's some soap.
Play, play, play.
414
00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:09,940
Oh!
415
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:14,678
Mr. Massey,
my husband needs the bottom.
416
00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:18,682
I mean, sure,
the money is a joke.
417
00:20:18,683 --> 00:20:21,218
Just send me the check
and give him the job.
418
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,252
Well...
419
00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:23,821
Mrs. Bundy,
420
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:25,289
I have a message
from your son.
421
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,723
I am very busy.
422
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:29,226
Oh, it's a very interesting
message.
423
00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:59,189
Well, it was nice to be rich,
even if just for a little while.
424
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,657
And now we're poor again.
425
00:21:00,658 --> 00:21:03,460
I'm just sorry you had
to give everything back.
426
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:05,795
Not everything, mom.
427
00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:09,967
You know,
428
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,669
Luckily, the credit card company
was so embarrassed
429
00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:14,738
About giving a dog
a credit card,
430
00:21:14,739 --> 00:21:16,606
They decided
not to press charges.
431
00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:18,408
They just impounded the stuff.
432
00:21:18,409 --> 00:21:19,576
Where's dad?
433
00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:22,779
Well, it seems
that you can't impound
434
00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:26,516
$1500 worth of hotel services
and food,
435
00:21:26,517 --> 00:21:28,785
So we all got together
and we discussed it.
436
00:21:28,786 --> 00:21:30,387
Everyone was real nice.
437
00:21:30,388 --> 00:21:31,889
And the upshot is...
438
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,858
Daddy will be working days
in the shoe store...
439
00:21:34,859 --> 00:21:37,995
And nights... Well...
440
00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:43,967
Boy!
441
00:21:52,510 --> 00:21:53,843
Yes, ma'am?
442
00:21:53,844 --> 00:21:55,545
My lobster's cold.
443
00:21:55,546 --> 00:21:58,215
I'm sorry, ma'am.
444
00:22:00,684 --> 00:22:03,353
Oh, and... Buck...
445
00:22:07,558 --> 00:22:09,259
I need someone
to scrub my back.
446
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:19,536
I'm an excellent tipper.
447
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:31,848
Good boy, buck.
448
00:22:45,396 --> 00:22:48,332
[♪]
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