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1
00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,083
♪ love and marriage ♪
2
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,385
♪ love and marriage ♪
3
00:00:21,386 --> 00:00:24,756
♪ go together like
a horse and carriage ♪
4
00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:28,927
♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪
5
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,829
♪ you can't have one ♪
6
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:33,364
♪ without the other ♪
7
00:00:33,365 --> 00:00:35,466
♪ love and marriage ♪
8
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:38,770
♪ love and marriage ♪
9
00:00:38,771 --> 00:00:42,807
♪ it's an institute
you can't disparage ♪
10
00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:46,544
♪ ask the local gentry ♪
11
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:51,249
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
12
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:56,287
♪ try, try
try to separate them ♪
13
00:00:56,288 --> 00:00:59,557
♪ it's an illusion ♪
14
00:00:59,558 --> 00:01:02,260
♪ try, try, try ♪
15
00:01:02,261 --> 00:01:08,066
♪ and you will only come
to this conclusion ♪
16
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,468
♪ love and marriage ♪
17
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,076
[humming]
18
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,478
You want some?
I made it myself.
19
00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:25,183
Hey, peg.
I got you something
20
00:01:25,184 --> 00:01:28,086
That's going to make
your life much easier.
21
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,855
You got a night job?
22
00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:33,191
No. I already got
one of those.
23
00:01:33,192 --> 00:01:36,460
It's called getting
in bed with you.
24
00:01:36,461 --> 00:01:41,766
Well, then,
you've been missing work.
25
00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:43,835
Anyhow, you know
how you're always complaining
26
00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:46,637
Buck never comes
when you call him?
27
00:01:46,638 --> 00:01:49,540
Well, I got you one of those
silent dog whistles. Watch.
28
00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:52,410
Here, buck.
29
00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:54,478
Now watch this.
30
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:02,520
Go on, sit there
and rust.
31
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:05,924
Speaking of items just
sitting and rusting away,
32
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,926
It's Thursday night.
33
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,327
Oh, nice timing, peg.
34
00:02:09,328 --> 00:02:10,829
You know I'm going
bowling tonight.
35
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,832
I was going to try
to break 200.
36
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,633
Now I got this
hanging over my head.
37
00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:16,968
Thanks a lot, peg.
38
00:02:16,969 --> 00:02:18,970
And what's this
doing out?
39
00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:20,404
Are we having dinner,
40
00:02:20,405 --> 00:02:23,307
Or is this just
to tease me and the kids?
41
00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:24,675
No, it's for later.
42
00:02:24,676 --> 00:02:26,945
The girls
are coming over.
43
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,179
[car door slams]
44
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:29,147
Oh, my god,
they're here.
45
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,384
Quick! I've got to go!
46
00:02:33,385 --> 00:02:35,220
Peg! Where's
my lucky bowling socks?
47
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:39,323
Downstairs, warding
off evil spirits.
48
00:02:39,324 --> 00:02:40,625
[doorbell rings]
49
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:41,993
[humming]
50
00:02:45,597 --> 00:02:47,698
Hi!
Hi!
Hi!
51
00:02:47,699 --> 00:02:50,601
Come on in, girls.
52
00:02:50,602 --> 00:02:53,371
Go straight
into the kitchen.
53
00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:56,607
Al: There's plaster falling
on my head down here!
54
00:02:56,608 --> 00:02:57,475
Keep cadence, will you?
55
00:02:58,677 --> 00:02:59,844
Don't worry.
56
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:01,246
He'll be going
bowling soon.
57
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,815
I know.
He's meeting my dennis.
58
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,449
And my husband, um...
59
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:06,450
Um...
60
00:03:06,451 --> 00:03:07,518
Barry?
61
00:03:07,519 --> 00:03:08,887
That's it.
62
00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,422
I can never think
of his name.
63
00:03:11,423 --> 00:03:13,758
Ah!
64
00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:17,662
Oh!
Oh!
Ooh!
65
00:03:17,663 --> 00:03:19,097
It's amazing what
energy they have
66
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:20,598
When they're
leaving the house.
67
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:22,233
But not for us.
68
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:25,469
You marry them,
they forget you're a woman.
69
00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:32,243
God knows,
I do my best.
70
00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:34,979
Peggy, you get it
once a month.
71
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:37,315
What's your secret?
72
00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:39,750
Well, I'll tell you,
73
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:41,652
You have to catch
them off guard.
74
00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:43,288
For instance, I'll tell al
75
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:46,224
That I'm going to take
a shower before going to bed.
76
00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:47,826
Then I'll go
and turn on the shower,
77
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,627
And al will hurry up
and get into bed
78
00:03:49,628 --> 00:03:52,831
And pretend to fall asleep
before I get out.
79
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,565
Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
80
00:03:54,566 --> 00:03:57,601
Actually, though,
I'm hiding in the darkened room,
81
00:03:57,602 --> 00:04:00,604
And I grab him
just as he hits the mattress.
82
00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:02,106
Sure, sometimes,
there's a fight,
83
00:04:02,107 --> 00:04:04,608
But in the end, it gave us
two beautiful children.
84
00:04:04,609 --> 00:04:06,110
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
85
00:04:07,713 --> 00:04:09,513
I can't understand it.
86
00:04:09,514 --> 00:04:11,916
Our husbands don't want
to sleep with us anymore.
87
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,952
Why?
88
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:23,962
Maybe he's afraid
he'll wake up in your stomach.
89
00:04:25,697 --> 00:04:26,865
Must he be here?
90
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:28,967
I'm going. I'm going.
91
00:04:43,582 --> 00:04:48,452
Good god, it calls them
from everywhere.
92
00:04:48,453 --> 00:04:49,820
Hi, peg.
93
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:52,223
Sorry to interrupt, girls,
but I'm in a hurry.
94
00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,959
Steve and I have
sort of a date planned tonight.
95
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,494
He's meeting me
at a sleazy bar
96
00:04:56,495 --> 00:04:58,729
Where he's going to
"pick me up."
97
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,331
Can I borrow a cigarette?
98
00:05:00,332 --> 00:05:01,599
Steve just loves it
99
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,535
When I smoke
and look like trash.
100
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:05,569
Sure.
Thanks.
101
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:07,338
Excuse me,
but if you're married,
102
00:05:07,339 --> 00:05:10,108
Why are you going out?
103
00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:11,609
We're role playing.
104
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:14,478
It adds mystery and excitement
to our love life.
105
00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:16,114
With your husband?
106
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,149
How much
of a love life?
107
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:20,751
Every 36 hours.
108
00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:23,654
Except on weekends
when we catch up.
109
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,623
Give us some
cigarettes, peggy.
110
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:30,461
Yeah. Let's go to the bowling
alley and turn on our men!
111
00:05:39,671 --> 00:05:41,940
Al, what are you doing
home so early?
112
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,841
Peg, you should have seen it.
113
00:05:43,842 --> 00:05:47,378
There was a riot at the alley.
114
00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:48,413
Your friends showed up
115
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,581
Stinking of chocolate
and cigarettes.
116
00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:53,484
They started yelling,
"take me, I'm trash!"
117
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,655
Nobody did.
118
00:05:57,656 --> 00:06:00,591
But then the riot started.
It was ugly, peg--
119
00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:03,928
Men screaming,
running for the exits.
120
00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:09,633
I didn't quite understand
what they were saying,
121
00:06:09,634 --> 00:06:13,637
But I think something big's
happening in 36 hours.
122
00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:15,573
Do we have
any canned goods, peg?
123
00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:17,408
This could be it.
124
00:06:17,409 --> 00:06:19,043
Sit down, al.
125
00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:21,112
Did you hear something
on the news?
126
00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:23,214
Yes, as a matter of fact.
127
00:06:23,215 --> 00:06:25,616
They said that the sun
was going to supernova
128
00:06:25,617 --> 00:06:27,852
And we should have sex
before the end comes.
129
00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:29,954
I got no time, peg.
I got to go looting!
130
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:33,458
Forget it, al.
I'm only kidding.
131
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,093
Look, unlike you,
132
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,996
The sun will be up
tomorrow morning.
133
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:42,367
Look, the girls
were just lonely.
134
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:44,535
They wanted some affection
from their husbands.
135
00:06:44,536 --> 00:06:46,670
On league night?
136
00:06:46,671 --> 00:06:48,572
Never mind, al.
137
00:06:48,573 --> 00:06:51,509
I'm going to go upstairs
and take a shower.
138
00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,710
Oh, yeah! I'm sure you're
139
00:06:52,711 --> 00:06:54,379
Really going to get me
with that one twice.
140
00:06:56,948 --> 00:06:59,484
Dad!
141
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:03,354
No, it's
not that, dad.
142
00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:05,089
Remember how you
always say it's important
143
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:06,491
To do nice things
for other people?
144
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:08,226
I never say that, son.
145
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:11,095
Then it must have
been you, mom.
146
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:14,032
No, I don't think
it was me.
147
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:16,867
Must have been cosby then.
148
00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:20,271
Anyhow, me and my friends
were down in the park,
149
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,240
Heckling some bums,
and I met this girl.
150
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:23,741
And she has
no place to stay,
151
00:07:23,742 --> 00:07:24,742
So I invited her here.
152
00:07:24,743 --> 00:07:25,609
Is that okay?
153
00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:29,347
No.
154
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,815
Al, the girl
has no place to stay,
155
00:07:31,816 --> 00:07:33,684
And I'm sure
after one night with you,
156
00:07:33,685 --> 00:07:36,220
It will send her
screaming back to her parents.
157
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:37,955
Of course, she can stay.
158
00:07:37,956 --> 00:07:40,158
Thanks, mom.
She's right outside.
159
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:41,859
Just until
we find her parents.
160
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:43,861
This is great.
161
00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,096
I barely want my own,
162
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,597
Now I get another
runny-nosed--
163
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:57,041
Mom, dad,
this is tiffany.
164
00:08:04,849 --> 00:08:07,418
Welcome home, tiff.
165
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:12,156
Al, this is not
what I expected.
166
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:15,193
Peg, this is not
a present for you.
167
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:16,894
It's for dad...
168
00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,699
From his little boy!
169
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:25,703
Tiffany, come in.
Relax. Sit down.
170
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:29,073
You want anything,
like coffee, water--
171
00:08:29,074 --> 00:08:31,542
An old man
drooling on you.
172
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:33,277
This is peg.
173
00:08:33,278 --> 00:08:36,214
This is probably
the last time you'll see her.
174
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,015
Peg, this must
be boring you.
175
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:40,318
Bud, take your mom
to the movies.
176
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,553
Let her go by herself, dad.
177
00:08:42,554 --> 00:08:45,323
I found her.
178
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,358
So, uh, tiffany...
179
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,327
Tell us a little
something about yourself.
180
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:51,962
What peg means is
where are you from,
181
00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:53,231
What are your plans?
182
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:56,234
When did you stop
wearing a bra?
183
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:57,901
Well, I'm from
san francisco,
184
00:08:57,902 --> 00:08:58,902
And I'm on my way
185
00:08:58,903 --> 00:09:00,838
To new york
to go to art school.
186
00:09:00,839 --> 00:09:02,340
And I don't like bras.
187
00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:04,408
They're too constricting,
don't you think?
188
00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:05,643
Get out.
189
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,249
Peg, she's got
no place to go.
190
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,851
Bud, get some sheets
and a blanket for the couch
191
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:16,420
So your mother
will be comfortable.
192
00:09:19,591 --> 00:09:21,992
No, no... I meant
so tiffany can be comfortable.
193
00:09:21,993 --> 00:09:24,928
It's so easy to get
you two confused.
194
00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:25,963
You sure it's okay?
195
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:27,465
Positive.
No!
Definitely.
196
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,167
Thank you.
197
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:31,435
I'll just change
for bed, then.
198
00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,177
Isn't that cute, peg?
199
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:40,178
She's...
200
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,912
Walking.
201
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:49,453
Al, will you put down
tiffany's sweater?
202
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,857
You know, peg,
203
00:09:53,858 --> 00:09:56,727
Her sweater
smells like sunshine.
204
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:58,529
Well, I'll tell you what, al,
205
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,631
Why don't we put it
with your shirts?
206
00:10:00,632 --> 00:10:02,866
What with the moons
under your arms
207
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,502
And her sunshine,
208
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,837
We'll have a whole galaxy.
209
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,774
Mr. And mrs. Bundy,
210
00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:12,142
I can't
thank you enough
211
00:10:12,143 --> 00:10:14,345
For letting me
stay here with you.
212
00:10:14,346 --> 00:10:16,380
No, you can't.
213
00:10:16,381 --> 00:10:18,683
Give her a chance, peg.
She may.
214
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,121
She did.
215
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,160
Can you teach peg
to do that?
216
00:10:30,161 --> 00:10:32,263
I don't think
she'll have time, al.
217
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:33,631
She's leaving tomorrow...
218
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,299
Early.
219
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,868
Well, I'm going up to bed.
220
00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:39,737
I don't suppose
you'd want to join me.
221
00:10:43,575 --> 00:10:45,042
Yeah.
222
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:46,143
Yes?
223
00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:51,014
Oh, yeah. Now.
Right now.
224
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,599
Stay!
225
00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:15,239
Al: Peg, you want to
come back up?
226
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,141
Forever.
227
00:11:17,142 --> 00:11:19,009
Coming, al!
228
00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:28,586
Hey, guys.
229
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,187
Thanks for helping me out
in the yard.
230
00:11:30,188 --> 00:11:31,188
Glad to help out.
231
00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:32,390
No problem.
232
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:33,991
Nice guy like you.
233
00:11:37,095 --> 00:11:39,697
I hope my aerobics
didn't disturb your yard work.
234
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,166
No.
Didn't even
notice you.
235
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:44,034
I'll just go
wash up, then.
236
00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:49,740
Thanks, al.
237
00:11:49,741 --> 00:11:52,176
Well, I hear
louise calling.
238
00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:54,679
Yeah, sheila's
always ready.
239
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:59,350
Maybe I won't remember
what she looks like.
240
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,485
Fanny should
still be in bed.
241
00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:02,653
Oh, well, I guess
242
00:12:02,654 --> 00:12:04,422
I can pretend
the crumbs are sand
243
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:06,457
And we're at the beach!
244
00:12:09,194 --> 00:12:10,695
Well, al...
245
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,564
Thanks for letting me work
in the yard.
246
00:12:16,201 --> 00:12:18,402
Hey, al!
247
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:19,470
What's going on?
248
00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:21,104
I get home, there are
all these cars
249
00:12:21,105 --> 00:12:22,105
Parked on my lawn!
250
00:12:22,106 --> 00:12:23,607
Didn't you
get my note?
251
00:12:23,608 --> 00:12:25,409
The one about five bucks
to work your yard?
252
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:26,944
I was going
to rush right over,
253
00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:29,179
But I got held up tossing
quarters down the sewer.
254
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:30,180
Actually, steve, there's
something upstairs
255
00:12:30,181 --> 00:12:31,549
You've got to see.
256
00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:34,184
Now, to the general public,
it's a $5.00 charge,
257
00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:35,820
But since you're a friend
258
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,655
And we accidentally
chopped down your willow tree,
259
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,056
This is a freebee.
260
00:12:39,057 --> 00:12:40,691
Oh, tiffany!
261
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,361
Yes, mr. Bundy?
262
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,730
Tiffany dear,
come meet our neighbor.
263
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:48,632
He lost a tree,
but gained a view.
264
00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:50,067
Tiffany, steve.
265
00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:52,970
Steve... Steve, view.
266
00:12:52,971 --> 00:12:54,839
Nice to meet you.
267
00:12:56,641 --> 00:12:58,743
Gobloodu me.
268
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:04,548
Gee, you're cool, steve.
269
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:08,719
Anyhow, let me
give you a price list.
270
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,221
On thursdays,
she does aerobics.
271
00:13:11,222 --> 00:13:12,623
That's $10.
272
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:14,392
On Friday
she sunbathes,
273
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:16,494
And she does
some jogging.
274
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,596
That's our
combo platter.
275
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:19,963
That's 15 bucks.
276
00:13:19,964 --> 00:13:21,599
But being you live
right next door,
277
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,000
You might want
the weekly rate.
278
00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:24,435
That's $50,
but with that,
279
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,470
You get popcorn
or a free lottery ticket.
280
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:30,307
I can't believe you, al.
281
00:13:30,308 --> 00:13:31,776
This is truly low.
282
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:32,810
So you in?
283
00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:35,045
Maybe.
284
00:13:35,046 --> 00:13:36,547
No, I'm not in.
285
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:37,882
Where's peggy?
286
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:40,984
Well, she couldn't
quite get up today.
287
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:45,155
Look at her, steve.
288
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:51,762
She's in the kitchen.
Isn't that cute?
289
00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:54,965
Okay, so she's beautiful
and gorgeous and all that,
290
00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:56,266
But, al, so is marcie,
291
00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:58,101
And what's more,
marcie has inner beauty.
292
00:13:58,102 --> 00:13:59,770
And when all
is said and done,
293
00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:01,405
The one true erogenous
zone in the body
294
00:14:01,406 --> 00:14:02,406
Is right up here.
295
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:05,375
Um, yeah, but the only
thing is, steve,
296
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:09,613
I don't see too many men going
around pinching women's heads.
297
00:14:10,782 --> 00:14:12,650
Well, perhaps we should.
298
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:14,418
Wait a second.
299
00:14:14,419 --> 00:14:17,888
Modigliani,
kandinsky, chagall.
300
00:14:17,889 --> 00:14:20,891
Who here would
be reading art books?
301
00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:24,762
Who here
would be reading?
302
00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:27,698
Oh, those are mine.
303
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:29,900
Although I must admit it was
304
00:14:29,901 --> 00:14:32,369
The american impressionists
who won my heart.
305
00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:39,777
How do you feel
about hassam?
306
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:42,847
Oh! And cassatt!
307
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:47,351
Ahh!
308
00:14:47,352 --> 00:14:50,354
Al, isn't this exciting?
She likes art!
309
00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:54,224
Look at
her legs, steve.
310
00:14:56,361 --> 00:15:00,898
Oh, peg! Peg,
it's wake-up time!
311
00:15:09,374 --> 00:15:11,375
Sorry to leave you
down here.
312
00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:14,879
I had to take care
of something upstairs.
313
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,381
Well, hi-ho, hi-ho.
314
00:15:17,382 --> 00:15:18,949
I'm off to work.
315
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:22,953
Marcie, how're
they hanging?
316
00:15:28,192 --> 00:15:30,060
Ohh!
317
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:35,699
I, uh, may be home
for lunch.
318
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,403
[birds chirping]
319
00:15:39,404 --> 00:15:43,007
My, the clouds look
especially fluffy today.
320
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,875
[whistles]
321
00:15:47,378 --> 00:15:49,346
What is going on?
322
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:52,583
And what's all this
singing at night I hear?
323
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:56,854
That's the sounds
of nookie, dear.
324
00:15:56,855 --> 00:16:00,858
Everybody's getting it.
325
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:04,828
But if you were getting it
every 36 hours before tiffany,
326
00:16:04,829 --> 00:16:07,197
I'm surprised
you're even conscious.
327
00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:10,400
So, what are you
batting these days?
328
00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:14,038
He doesn't even
get up to the plate.
329
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,675
Gee, too bad.
330
00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:22,079
I can't stand it, peggy.
331
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,847
Everyone
in this neighborhood
332
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,348
Is happy, but me.
333
00:16:25,349 --> 00:16:26,884
It's not fair.
334
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:29,920
I'm supposed
to be the happy one,
335
00:16:29,921 --> 00:16:31,889
Not you people.
336
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:34,091
All steve wants to do
is talk about tiffany.
337
00:16:34,092 --> 00:16:36,226
Tiffany, tiffany, tiffany.
338
00:16:36,227 --> 00:16:37,427
He could care less
339
00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:39,663
That I was at that bar
waiting for him last night--
340
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:41,431
With a cigarette.
341
00:16:41,432 --> 00:16:43,400
He never did show up.
342
00:16:43,401 --> 00:16:46,403
I spent three hours
pounding down brewskies
343
00:16:46,404 --> 00:16:49,206
With some spot welder
named bluto.
344
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:51,976
Well, marcie, why don't you
look at it this way--
345
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:54,078
So your husband
doesn't find you
346
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,813
Attractive and
interesting anymore.
347
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:58,649
Did you think you'd
get through married life
348
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:01,051
Having sex and fun
indefinitely?
349
00:17:01,052 --> 00:17:03,186
Not in this town, marce.
350
00:17:03,187 --> 00:17:06,423
So why don't you do
what the girls and I did?
351
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:08,425
Get yourself some bonbons,
352
00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:10,160
Take up bingo,
353
00:17:10,161 --> 00:17:13,631
And readjust the shower heads
in the bathroom.
354
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,934
How about
if I try this?
355
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:20,437
Putting tiffany's hair
in a veg-o-matic?
356
00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:22,439
Slice it, dice it,
357
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,474
Let it sit in her lap
358
00:17:24,475 --> 00:17:27,945
While I dance around
her shaven head.
359
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,613
Come on, peggy,
you've got to help me.
360
00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:31,015
We must get rid of tiffany.
361
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,716
Oh, no, no, no, marce.
362
00:17:32,717 --> 00:17:35,119
We must put an end
to world hunger,
363
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,054
We must buckle
up for safety,
364
00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:40,057
But when it comes to peg bundy
getting it regularly,
365
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,960
We must go with the flow.
366
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:46,897
Now, if you'll excuse me,
367
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:50,000
I must go and get dinner
for my sugar tush.
368
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,237
Oh, and if tiffany comes back,
could you have her
369
00:17:54,238 --> 00:17:57,875
Sitting on the couch
when al comes home?
370
00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,476
It's important.
371
00:18:01,579 --> 00:18:03,413
[telephone rings]
372
00:18:05,316 --> 00:18:07,751
Hello?
373
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:10,453
No, steve,
this is not tiffany.
374
00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:12,156
This is your wife,
375
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,657
And let me tell--
376
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:14,925
Hello?
377
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:21,198
Oh, hi, mrs. Rhoades.
378
00:18:21,199 --> 00:18:24,434
Gee, you're
looking haggard.
379
00:18:24,435 --> 00:18:26,003
Isn't this nice?
380
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,705
The birds are singing,
381
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:30,074
The whole neighborhood
smells of bacon,
382
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,575
And, you know,
383
00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:33,577
Everybody says
that the clouds
384
00:18:33,578 --> 00:18:35,112
Look especially
fluffy.
385
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:38,115
Here are your messages, kel.
386
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,583
Thank you.
387
00:18:39,584 --> 00:18:41,185
Craig called.
388
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:43,120
Saw tiffany.
Please call immediately.
389
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,022
Don, ditto.
390
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:47,524
Cliff. Ooh, cliff!
391
00:18:47,525 --> 00:18:49,526
Uh, kel.
392
00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:51,461
Forgetting something.
393
00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:57,467
You are one heck
of a little brother.
394
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:02,339
Yep. I found her.
395
00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:07,677
[birds sing]
396
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,549
Hi. How are you?
397
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,918
Gee, isn't it a pretty day?
398
00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:18,622
All right, blondie.
399
00:19:18,623 --> 00:19:20,523
Let's get right to the point.
400
00:19:20,524 --> 00:19:22,559
I want you to
stop talking modigliani
401
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,994
With my husband.
402
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:28,298
You must be married to steve,
the banker/mountain climber.
403
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:33,570
He hasn't climbed anything
since you hit this burg.
404
00:19:33,571 --> 00:19:36,774
But I'm probably boring you
with my petty problems.
405
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:40,577
Pretty much, yeah.
406
00:19:40,578 --> 00:19:44,181
Well, then let's
talk about you.
407
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:46,049
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
408
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:48,451
What's the matter?
409
00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:49,853
Oh, nothing.
410
00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:52,156
It's just that
I hate to see you,
411
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:55,525
A budding young artist,
wasting your life.
412
00:19:55,526 --> 00:19:57,861
You should be in new york,
that cultural mecca,
413
00:19:57,862 --> 00:20:01,498
Studying to be the great artist
you could be.
414
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:06,270
Is this one of
your sketches, dear?
415
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,038
Yes, it is.
416
00:20:08,039 --> 00:20:09,907
It's lovely.
417
00:20:12,443 --> 00:20:14,044
I'm sorry.
418
00:20:14,045 --> 00:20:15,946
It's just that
when I see art this good--
419
00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,549
I get kind of choked up.
420
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,052
You really think
I'm that good?
421
00:20:22,053 --> 00:20:24,587
I've seen the sun
422
00:20:24,588 --> 00:20:29,059
Come up over
a garden hose before...
423
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:32,729
But now that I've seen it
through your eyes,
424
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,497
I truly understand.
425
00:20:34,498 --> 00:20:38,836
The hose represents
man's state in the universe.
426
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:40,403
Tiffany, go!
427
00:20:40,404 --> 00:20:43,273
You must share your vision
with all of new york!
428
00:20:43,274 --> 00:20:44,641
You're right. I'll go.
429
00:20:44,642 --> 00:20:46,443
I'll tell peg and al
tonight that--
430
00:20:46,444 --> 00:20:47,444
No, no!
431
00:20:47,445 --> 00:20:49,512
Don't tell them. Just go.
432
00:20:49,513 --> 00:20:51,614
A clean break is best.
433
00:20:51,615 --> 00:20:55,018
There's a pre-paid ticket
waiting for you at o'hare.
434
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:56,519
My treat.
435
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,521
Thank you,
mrs. Rhoades.
436
00:20:58,522 --> 00:21:00,858
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pack!
437
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:03,460
Oh, okay!
438
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:05,996
New york?
439
00:21:08,032 --> 00:21:09,799
Hey, peg.
440
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,936
What happened
to the birds?
441
00:21:12,937 --> 00:21:15,038
Uh, I don't know, al.
442
00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:16,940
You want to go upstairs?
443
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:18,575
No, not yet.
444
00:21:18,576 --> 00:21:19,809
Eh...
445
00:21:19,810 --> 00:21:23,513
It doesn't smell like
it used to in here.
446
00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:26,950
It's not like
a sea breeze anymore.
447
00:21:26,951 --> 00:21:28,952
Where's tiffany?
448
00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:30,687
Out. For the evening.
449
00:21:30,688 --> 00:21:32,555
She went to the movies.
450
00:21:32,556 --> 00:21:33,891
You want to go upstairs?
451
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:37,427
Uh, no. No, uh...
452
00:21:37,428 --> 00:21:38,962
Something's missing.
453
00:21:38,963 --> 00:21:40,463
Is it darker, or...
454
00:21:40,464 --> 00:21:43,433
Colder?
455
00:21:43,434 --> 00:21:45,035
Has the paint faded?
456
00:21:46,504 --> 00:21:48,005
All right, al.
457
00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:50,007
She's gone. Forever.
458
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,512
But it doesn't
matter, honey.
459
00:21:55,513 --> 00:21:56,980
I mean, who needs her?
460
00:21:56,981 --> 00:21:58,882
We've been
so happy together,
461
00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:01,018
And we've learned
so much.
462
00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:02,752
Like that you won't die
463
00:22:02,753 --> 00:22:05,956
If we do it more
than once a month.
464
00:22:05,957 --> 00:22:08,691
Let's go upstairs.
465
00:22:12,463 --> 00:22:14,298
Uh, I'm going up.
466
00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,967
You want to join me?
467
00:22:20,805 --> 00:22:22,973
Al?
468
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:29,479
Peg: Oh, god, no!
469
00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,963
[♪]
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