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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:56,758 Patrick. 2 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,158 Adeline. 3 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:01,763 This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever. 4 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,463 This place... 5 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,301 it's just so gorge. 6 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:08,770 Of course it is, babe. 7 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,203 -You picked it! -I picked it! 8 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,278 Oh. 9 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:20,982 Mmm. Mmm. 10 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,585 Mmm. 11 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:30,223 What the hell? 12 00:01:34,796 --> 00:01:37,031 I told you not to put it in my food. 13 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:40,400 -Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Sorry, I-- -It's fine. Keep going. 14 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,403 Uh... 15 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:46,908 Adeline Delilah Garrett. 16 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,543 You're smart. 17 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:49,744 You're beautiful. 18 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,145 And perhaps most important of all, 19 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,749 you make me think. 20 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:58,118 You're my person and I can't imagine my life without you. 21 00:01:58,251 --> 00:01:59,453 Will you marry me? 22 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,457 Yes. A million times, yes! 23 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,445 Why are you calling me right now? 24 00:02:26,681 --> 00:02:27,982 I didn't get it. 25 00:02:28,116 --> 00:02:29,984 What the fuck do you mean you didn't get it? 26 00:02:30,118 --> 00:02:31,284 Yeah, I'm sorry, dude. 27 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,320 There was a couple of sun flares and, like... 28 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,690 Um, could you maybe do it again or... 29 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,926 Why, yes. Let me re-propose to my fucking girlfriend 30 00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,562 so you can do your job right. 31 00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:44,398 -Technically she's your fiancée. -Don't get cute with me. 32 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,835 Do it right this time or I'll fucking end you... 33 00:02:48,803 --> 00:02:50,470 -on Yelp. -Okay, cool, thanks. 34 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:53,641 I'll talk to you later. I'm not even on Yelp, dick. 35 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,983 Uh, speech, speech, speech. Lovey, lovey-dovey. 36 00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:03,417 Uh, and, uh... 37 00:03:04,819 --> 00:03:05,853 Will you marry me? 38 00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:08,388 Yes. A million times, yes. 39 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,897 Just one second. 40 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,002 Give me that. Hello? 41 00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:22,870 Nico the Photo Guy. Leave a message. 42 00:03:23,004 --> 00:03:24,204 Are you fucking 43 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,007 kidding... me? 44 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,044 Oh, no! 45 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,575 Hello? 46 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,281 You listen here, asshole. 47 00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:46,654 I have been planning this day my whole life... 48 00:04:48,256 --> 00:04:50,024 and you fucking killed him! 49 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,694 You messed with the wrong bride. 50 00:04:55,196 --> 00:04:56,164 You hear me? 51 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,000 You messed with the wrong fu-- 52 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,793 Whoa. 53 00:05:25,927 --> 00:05:27,195 Ma'am, you can't be here. 54 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,429 -What are you doing? -He's trying to kill me! 55 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,367 Hey, buddy, you wanna tell me what's going on? 56 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,840 Wait. Stop! Drop the knife, asshole! 57 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:47,480 Somebody! Please! 58 00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:16,677 Oh, shoot. 59 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,762 Take that, you motherfucker! 60 00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:09,964 Go away! 61 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:12,566 You go away! 62 00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:16,003 You go away! 63 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,539 You go away! 64 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:26,914 No. 65 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,618 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 66 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,220 No, no, no, no, no. Please! 67 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:35,089 Hey! Hey! 68 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,793 No! 69 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,401 No! 70 00:07:50,438 --> 00:07:51,439 No! 71 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,065 It's Valentine's Day 72 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,868 and the nation is once again on high alert. 73 00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:58,072 For the past two years, a masked maniac 74 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,774 known as the Heart Eyes Killer... 75 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:03,310 ...or HEK, as authorities call him for short, 76 00:09:03,444 --> 00:09:05,679 has emerged on a day meant for romance 77 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:08,282 to target, hunt and brutally kill couples. 78 00:09:08,416 --> 00:09:10,918 HEK seems to target cities at random. 79 00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:12,453 From a blood-soaked rampage 80 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,888 in the Boston area two years ago... 81 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,023 ...as well as a second killing spree, 82 00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:19,026 which left several dead in Philadelphia just last year. 83 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,029 Even though he's after couples in love, 84 00:09:22,163 --> 00:09:24,231 let me be perfectly clear about this... 85 00:09:24,365 --> 00:09:29,538 He will kill anyone who gets in his way. 86 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,972 ...leaving Americans once again plagued with anxiety 87 00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:34,075 on Cupid's holiday asking the question... 88 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:37,144 Where will the Heart Eyes Killer strike next? 89 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,384 Do you expect the Heart Eyes Killer 90 00:09:43,518 --> 00:09:45,486 to kill your Valentine's Day plans? 91 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,421 Who the hell makes Valentine's Day plans? 92 00:09:47,556 --> 00:09:49,558 Yeah, this holiday sucks ass, dude. 93 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,025 -Literally. -Valentine... 94 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,626 I ain't even low-key scared. 95 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,829 The HEK ain't got nothin' on me. You know... 96 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:57,098 Oh, shut up, Dylan. You're afraid of the dark. 97 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,267 No, I don't. 98 00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:05,473 -The Heart Eyes Killer-- -So glad I'm single. 99 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,807 I'm gonna celebrate inside. 100 00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,342 That dude hunts you. 101 00:10:08,476 --> 00:10:09,777 ...rubbing your shitty PDA all up in our faces. 102 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,445 He only kills straight people, I think. 103 00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:14,482 Whether you're with a partner or looking for love, 104 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,184 stay vigilant this Valentine's Day. 105 00:10:37,572 --> 00:10:39,039 Shit! 106 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,777 -Nice one, dipshits. -Got a cappuccino here. 107 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,913 Hope Cupid shoots you in the dick. 108 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,781 Caramel soy latte for Monica! 109 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,984 -Oh, that's me. -Okay, yeah. There. 110 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,354 Why do you look so stressed? 111 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,624 Is it 'cause you're single again on Valentine's Day? 112 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,124 No, I'm... No, I'm stressed 113 00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:58,527 because Crystal just called 114 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,928 an all-hands meeting and the subject of her email 115 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,296 literally says "Ally's Campaign." 116 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,565 -Mm, I saw that. -So I'm fucked. 117 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,232 Okay, worst-case scenario, 118 00:11:05,366 --> 00:11:08,135 you get fired and you never work another day in your life. Hmm? 119 00:11:08,269 --> 00:11:11,071 Worst-case scenario, Crystal wears my skin as a pantsuit. 120 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:13,340 Best-case scenario, you got nice skin though. 121 00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:15,976 Boop. You know what? Whatever. 122 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,078 If you go down, I'll go down with you, okay? 123 00:11:18,212 --> 00:11:19,514 We'll Thelma and Louise this shit. 124 00:11:19,648 --> 00:11:21,015 Large iced blended Americano 125 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,552 with oat milk, two honey, one sugar. 126 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,685 -Mm. -Oh. 127 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,388 Sorry, are you sure that's yours? 128 00:11:27,522 --> 00:11:30,191 Yes, that is definitely mine. 129 00:11:30,324 --> 00:11:31,626 No one else would order... 130 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,562 ...a large iced blended Americano 131 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,930 with oat milk, two honey, one sugar. 132 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,499 Sugar. Yeah. Look at that. Wow. 133 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,868 Guess we're coffee mates. 134 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:44,238 -Nice dad joke. -Thanks. 135 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,006 I thought I was the only one in the world with 136 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,374 the obnoxious coffee order. 137 00:11:47,509 --> 00:11:49,009 It's a pretty common order actually. 138 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,444 Can you guys move? We're busy. 139 00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:52,246 Yes. 140 00:11:53,682 --> 00:11:54,683 He's hot! 141 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,854 Hey, can I interest you in one of these guys? 142 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:03,324 Oh, no, I'm okay. Thanks. I carry my own. 143 00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:05,759 -Oh. Metal straw. -I hate paper straws. 144 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,128 They just turn into mush in, like, three seconds. 145 00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:10,831 Yeah, no. I totally get what you're saying. 146 00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:13,033 Let's put all the coffee in a plastic cup, 147 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,903 but, hey, as long as the straw is paper, planet saved. 148 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,771 Planet saved. 149 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,741 -Oh, sugar though. Want one? -Yeah. 150 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,743 A little slow poison for the pancreas. 151 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:23,811 -Oh. Oh! -Oh. Ooh! 152 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:26,347 -I'm sorry. No, I'm-- -I'm sorry. No, I'm-- 153 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,582 Sorry. 154 00:12:27,716 --> 00:12:29,651 -I got it. It's okay. -No, it's totally-- 155 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,786 -Oh! Fucking Jesus Murphy! -Shit! Oh, my God. Are you okay? 156 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,022 -Yeah. Am I? -Oh, my God. You're bleeding! 157 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,458 -Uh, here. Shit. -Oh-- Uh, thank you for that. 158 00:12:37,592 --> 00:12:39,927 Bye. Um, I'm gonna go. I'll see you at work, Mon. 159 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,429 Sorry. She's getting fired today. 160 00:12:42,564 --> 00:12:43,797 Exactly one year 161 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,499 after a Valentine's Day massacre 162 00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,102 left three couples dead in Boston 163 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,404 and four couples dead in Philadelphia, 164 00:12:50,538 --> 00:12:53,340 the Heart Eyes Killer has come to Seattle. 165 00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:56,210 Four victims have now been claimed at a winery, 166 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,580 ending one dream engagement 167 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,015 in a nightmare. 168 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,618 Chief Hartley, is this the work of the Heart Eyes Killer? 169 00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:05,319 That's not confirmed at this point, 170 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,354 but given the pattern of targeting couples 171 00:13:07,488 --> 00:13:09,923 on Valentine's Day, we suspect it's the work of HEK. 172 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,092 What do you have to say to all those couples out there 173 00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:14,862 planning to celebrate Valentine's Day? 174 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,131 Stay home. 175 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,899 Well. 176 00:13:21,536 --> 00:13:22,936 This is quite a pickle. 177 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,379 Why didn't a single one of you 178 00:13:32,514 --> 00:13:35,583 tell me that there is a maniac 179 00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:38,052 running around slaughtering people 180 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:41,388 on Valentine's Day these last couple years? 181 00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:42,823 Tommy? 182 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:46,827 Not a single one of you. 183 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,097 This campaign is certainly ill-timed. 184 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,832 Wouldn't you say so, missy? 185 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,202 Uh... Um... 186 00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:58,673 -I mean-- -You know, Crystal, um, 187 00:13:58,807 --> 00:14:00,508 how you always tell us 188 00:14:00,642 --> 00:14:02,843 that relevance is really important in our pitches? 189 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:08,215 Well, I personally believe that Ally's campaign is very "now." 190 00:14:08,349 --> 00:14:10,150 Monica, thank you so much. 191 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,419 If you could do me a huge favor. Shut the fuck up. 192 00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:16,558 Tommy? 193 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:56,230 "Wow. Profiting off the death of couples to sell rings." 194 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,632 "Speechless." 195 00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,033 -"This is disgusting." -I'll say. 196 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,870 "What did I just watch?" 197 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,437 "Straight-up tacky." 198 00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:07,474 "Someone find out who made this and dox their ignorant ass." 199 00:15:07,609 --> 00:15:09,711 -I mean, it just-- it goes on. -I'm sure it does. 200 00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:12,079 Ally, I'm worried about your safety. 201 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,350 Gee, thanks, Tommy. 202 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,219 How many people has this heart-shaped asshole killed? 203 00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:21,488 I think, like, a lot. 204 00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:23,591 A lot? 205 00:15:23,725 --> 00:15:26,728 You built a nationwide campaign 206 00:15:26,861 --> 00:15:29,129 around romance ending in death? 207 00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:30,665 Well, you approved it. 208 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,867 Because I trusted you. 209 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,803 I'm gonna need a new campaign. 210 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,238 -Okay. Um, no problem. I'll-- -Jay, get in here. 211 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,041 Jay? Who's Jay? 212 00:15:41,175 --> 00:15:42,744 Thank you very much. 213 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,580 No way. 214 00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:48,215 That's the guy whose nose you smashed in at the coffee shop. 215 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,283 Mon, sit down. 216 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,484 Jay Simmonds, everybody. 217 00:15:50,618 --> 00:15:51,753 This is Jay Simmonds. 218 00:15:51,886 --> 00:15:53,287 Who's Jay Simmonds? Well, I'll tell you. 219 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:57,090 Jay Simmonds is the former CCD of BMY New York. 220 00:15:57,224 --> 00:16:01,161 He is the youngest freelancer to win a Clio Award 221 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:03,330 for his viral romantic campaigns. 222 00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:08,035 Everything from fancy cars to luxury chocolates. 223 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,270 And, he has then earned himself 224 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:14,007 a nice little moniker of "Consumer Cupid." 225 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,710 -That is Jay Simmonds... -That's him? 226 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:16,878 ...and I'll tell you what. 227 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,413 When I realized how far up shit's creek 228 00:16:19,547 --> 00:16:21,181 Ally here had paddled us, 229 00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:23,383 I knew I needed some reinforcements. 230 00:16:23,518 --> 00:16:26,186 And thank Baby Jesus. 231 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,489 Now, he's got to leave and push off tomorrow 232 00:16:28,623 --> 00:16:31,492 and skedaddle, so he's on the clock. 233 00:16:31,626 --> 00:16:33,160 Jay. Everybody, Jay! 234 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,830 Thank you for the lovely flattery, Crystal. 235 00:16:35,964 --> 00:16:37,665 I appreciate it. Um... 236 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,167 Listen, as I understand it, 237 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,504 we've experienced some turbulence as of late, 238 00:16:42,637 --> 00:16:46,173 but it's about how you land the plane that matters, so... 239 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,842 we will get through this... 240 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,143 together. 241 00:16:55,517 --> 00:16:57,685 -What the hell was that? -I got a match. 242 00:16:57,819 --> 00:16:59,854 Oh, for fuck sakes. 243 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:06,460 We're gonna get married. I can feel it. 244 00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:10,899 That's your boyfriend? 245 00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:13,001 Yeah, he will be. 246 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,703 He's an actual firefighter who loves puppies. 247 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:21,509 You see? That's why you're still single. 248 00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:23,043 You know what you need, Shaw? 249 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,015 You need a real man. 250 00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,685 One that's willing to make the first move. 251 00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:37,090 Come on, detectives. You're gonna love this. 252 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,426 Check it out. 253 00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:42,897 What is that, a wedding band? 254 00:17:43,031 --> 00:17:44,632 Could it be one of the victim's? 255 00:17:44,766 --> 00:17:47,301 Unlikely. 256 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:53,273 The initials engraved on the inside... JS. 257 00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:55,543 Doesn't match either of the deceased. 258 00:17:57,845 --> 00:17:59,047 Huh. 259 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,423 What kind of an animal would do this? 260 00:18:09,557 --> 00:18:14,261 Probably some incel virgin troll living in his mommy's basement. 261 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,597 Assuming it's a man. 262 00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:19,232 What about the girl who never got asked to prom? 263 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:23,270 The love-scorned woman who got cheated on one too many times 264 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,305 and just snapped. 265 00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:26,608 Oh, fuck. 266 00:18:27,809 --> 00:18:29,944 Oh. Yes. He replied. 267 00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:31,178 The gay fireman? 268 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,113 No, no. This guy works in tech. 269 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,383 -Shaw's got a fetish for betas. -I don't have a fetish. 270 00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:38,285 Everybody's got a fetish. 271 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,321 Gentlemen, this is more than just a simple murder. 272 00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:43,591 It's a... 273 00:18:47,095 --> 00:18:48,362 ...kink. 274 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,431 That's the understatement of the fucking year. 275 00:18:51,566 --> 00:18:53,467 How do you know for sure it's HEK? 276 00:18:53,601 --> 00:18:55,069 Here you go, Detective. 277 00:18:57,905 --> 00:18:58,873 'Cause this is the last thing 278 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,942 the wedding photographer ever saw. 279 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,446 Heart Eyes has come to our city, boys. 280 00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:07,849 And they've got another ten hours 281 00:19:07,982 --> 00:19:09,984 of Valentine's Day left to kill. 282 00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:18,291 Excuse me. What in hell are you doing? 283 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:21,763 What do you mean? You just fired me in front of the whole team. 284 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,498 Fired you? I got six more months on your contract. 285 00:19:24,632 --> 00:19:27,969 I intend to squeeze every single last drop out of you. 286 00:19:28,102 --> 00:19:30,138 Okay. Great. So what am I supposed to do? 287 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,740 Get him coffee while he lands the plane? 288 00:19:32,874 --> 00:19:35,643 No. You're gonna turn in a sizzling, 289 00:19:35,777 --> 00:19:38,880 sexy, seductive, blockbuster 290 00:19:39,013 --> 00:19:40,447 Crystal Cane campaign. 291 00:19:40,581 --> 00:19:43,551 And if you don't, I'll kill you. 292 00:19:47,088 --> 00:19:48,990 I'm kidding. I won't. I'll blacklist you, though. 293 00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:50,424 I won't kill you. 294 00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:51,559 I mean, maybe. 295 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,326 But no. 296 00:19:53,995 --> 00:19:54,996 But would I? 297 00:19:57,665 --> 00:19:59,934 "Whoever made this, I hope you get 298 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,737 "murdered and canceled. Not in that order." 299 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,271 "Hashtag do better." 300 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,339 "As someone who may die someday, 301 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,909 "I find this commercial 302 00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:10,912 "to be tone-deaf and borderline ableist." 303 00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:13,413 Wow, people are fucking dumb. 304 00:20:13,548 --> 00:20:16,416 "The only thing deader than the couples in this ad 305 00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:19,286 "is the brain cell of the person who created it." 306 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,389 "The level of cringe in this video is off the charts. 307 00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:23,490 "Hashtag just stop." 308 00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:25,026 Hey, Ally? 309 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,996 -Yeah? -Howdy. 310 00:20:30,464 --> 00:20:31,866 Jay? Wha-- 311 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:34,769 This is the women's bathroom, dude. You can't be in here. 312 00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:37,739 Technically, it is a unisex bathroom, but... 313 00:20:38,573 --> 00:20:39,574 can we talk? 314 00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:44,411 -Hi. -Hi. 315 00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:45,913 I'm... 316 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,150 I am really sorry about earlier. 317 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,418 Oh, no, it's totally fine. 318 00:20:51,552 --> 00:20:53,453 Sorry to stalk and run, 319 00:20:53,588 --> 00:20:55,288 but I'm trying to make this yoga class 320 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,225 that starts in, like, an hour. 321 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,960 You serious? Yoga? 322 00:20:59,093 --> 00:21:00,795 Mm-hmm. 323 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:02,997 Aren't we supposed to be saving the company? 324 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,466 Yes, and we will. Just after yoga. 325 00:21:06,601 --> 00:21:09,837 I booked us a table at L'oie. 326 00:21:09,971 --> 00:21:12,305 We get inspired, talk about the campaign. 327 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:15,143 You realize that it's Valentine's Day, right? 328 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,211 Oh, that's right. 329 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:19,279 You probably got plans, don't you? 330 00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:22,250 -No. -Well, great! 331 00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:23,985 It'll be a great place for some field research. 332 00:21:24,118 --> 00:21:25,586 Romance, flowers, candles-- 333 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,487 Uh, do you think that maybe we could just do this tomorrow? 334 00:21:27,622 --> 00:21:29,056 Uh, see, I would love to do tomorrow, 335 00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:30,558 I just have to take the first flight 336 00:21:30,691 --> 00:21:32,760 out in the morning for my best friend's wedding. 337 00:21:32,894 --> 00:21:34,095 So, how about this? 338 00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:35,596 We'll call it 08:00 sharp and I'll see you there. 339 00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:36,831 -Yeah? I'm excited. -Uh-- 340 00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,366 -No, no, I-- -It's gonna be great! 341 00:21:40,735 --> 00:21:42,236 Oh, thank you so much. 342 00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:45,840 Uh, no, Mon. Let me get this. You're, like, $100,000 in debt. 343 00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,642 Not anymore. 344 00:21:47,775 --> 00:21:50,044 Arthur paid it off. And I get to keep the card. 345 00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:52,513 -Are you serious? -Mm-hmm. 346 00:21:52,647 --> 00:21:55,817 Damn. Someone likes a little sugar with their daddy. 347 00:21:55,950 --> 00:21:58,986 Aha. Excuse me, Ally. I do not have a sugar daddy. 348 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:00,922 That term is very problematic. 349 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,991 I have a sponsor. 350 00:22:04,125 --> 00:22:07,695 And do you love your sponsor, or is he just erasing your debt? 351 00:22:07,829 --> 00:22:11,232 Yes, I love him. And I love that he's erasing my debt. 352 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:14,367 So, when am I gonna meet this secret Hugh Hefner? 353 00:22:14,502 --> 00:22:16,671 Shall we all get dinner soon? What do you say, like, 4:30? 354 00:22:16,804 --> 00:22:17,972 -Soup? -Ha ha. 355 00:22:18,105 --> 00:22:19,607 Real clever, Miss Judgy Judy, 356 00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:21,209 while you're literally stalking your ex online. 357 00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,476 I'm not stalking him. 358 00:22:23,611 --> 00:22:26,379 The algorithm is stalking me, okay? 359 00:22:26,514 --> 00:22:29,050 -It's the algorithm? -Hey, is Arthur Heart Eyes? 360 00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:31,018 Is that why I haven't met him yet? 361 00:22:31,786 --> 00:22:33,287 That's not fucking funny. 362 00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:38,993 Of course Arthur's not Heart Eyes. 363 00:22:39,126 --> 00:22:40,995 That guy has so much arthritis, he can't run. 364 00:22:41,128 --> 00:22:42,930 -Honestly, I bet it's Crystal. -Mm. 365 00:22:43,064 --> 00:22:44,999 You know when she does that, like, thing... 366 00:22:45,132 --> 00:22:46,300 -Mm-hmm. -...when her Botox doesn't 367 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:47,902 sit right and it gets stuck? 368 00:22:50,838 --> 00:22:53,341 Breaking news. Our Channel 7 affiliate 369 00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:54,709 is reporting that two more 370 00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:56,744 couples have been found murdered 371 00:22:56,878 --> 00:22:58,246 at a downtown spa. 372 00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:00,014 We go live to the scene in Seattle. 373 00:23:00,147 --> 00:23:01,481 Can't watch this. 374 00:23:01,616 --> 00:23:02,583 Thanks, Mike... 375 00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:04,484 Ally. 376 00:23:04,619 --> 00:23:07,454 -Ally, hello? Hey, ho. -Monica! 377 00:23:07,588 --> 00:23:09,090 Oh, my God. Why are you torturing yourself? 378 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:10,423 You're the one who ended things. 379 00:23:10,558 --> 00:23:13,261 I know. He just moved on so fast. 380 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,528 I mean, what even is her job? 381 00:23:14,662 --> 00:23:16,364 Look at her feed. It's all vacation pics. 382 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,566 And she doesn't even have rich parents. I checked. 383 00:23:18,699 --> 00:23:20,534 You need to stop hate-fucking yourself and get out there 384 00:23:20,668 --> 00:23:22,904 and find someone to actually fuck-fuck yourself, you know? 385 00:23:23,037 --> 00:23:24,305 -No. -Oh, what about that guy? 386 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:26,540 He's so cute. The-the... The bathroom boy, you know? 387 00:23:26,674 --> 00:23:27,642 Your little stalker? 388 00:23:27,775 --> 00:23:29,577 You mean the guy trying to take my job? 389 00:23:29,710 --> 00:23:31,779 Oh, my fuck. 390 00:23:31,913 --> 00:23:34,348 He is so hot, I could literally throw up. 391 00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:37,351 My basement just flooded. 392 00:23:38,886 --> 00:23:40,453 He's okay. 393 00:23:40,588 --> 00:23:42,823 Wait, what are you wearing on this date? 394 00:23:42,957 --> 00:23:44,424 It's not a date. 395 00:23:44,558 --> 00:23:46,961 We're working. And what's wrong with my clothes? 396 00:23:47,094 --> 00:23:48,129 You look like a before picture. 397 00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:50,197 Monica! That is so mean! 398 00:23:50,331 --> 00:23:52,767 Okay, this place, what's the vibe? Is it, what, fancy? 399 00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:55,468 -Yeah, it's fancy. Why? -Come on. 400 00:23:56,270 --> 00:23:57,738 Where are we going? 401 00:23:57,872 --> 00:24:00,641 We're gonna go fuck up a credit card. 402 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,654 -It's gorgeous. -So much skin. 403 00:24:13,788 --> 00:24:14,989 -Hike it up a little bit. -It's so much skin. 404 00:24:15,122 --> 00:24:16,857 -It can go shorter. -Monica, no! It's not a date. 405 00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:35,810 No. 406 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:48,689 Hi. Uh, reservation for Simmonds. 407 00:24:48,823 --> 00:24:50,490 Of course. AJ? 408 00:24:52,293 --> 00:24:54,028 Arms out, please. 409 00:24:56,697 --> 00:24:59,000 -What gives? -Heart Eyes. 410 00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:00,334 Can't be too careful. 411 00:25:09,844 --> 00:25:11,645 I'm environmentally conscious. 412 00:25:23,858 --> 00:25:25,659 Sharp, my ass. 413 00:25:25,793 --> 00:25:27,661 You look so beautiful tonight, darling. 414 00:25:27,795 --> 00:25:29,997 Happy Valentine's. I mean that. 415 00:25:30,131 --> 00:25:32,099 Aw. 416 00:25:32,233 --> 00:25:34,568 Good evening, miss. Will anyone be joining you? 417 00:25:34,702 --> 00:25:36,737 Uh, yes. Um, a friend. 418 00:25:37,371 --> 00:25:38,539 A colleague. 419 00:25:38,672 --> 00:25:41,175 It's a... It's a work dinner. 420 00:25:41,308 --> 00:25:44,078 Well, I'll be back with the specials once your date arrives. 421 00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,547 Oh, no, no, no. He's not my date. 422 00:26:06,167 --> 00:26:09,870 I am so sorry that I am late. I tried to get a car. 423 00:26:10,004 --> 00:26:12,073 And for what it's worth, I had no idea this place 424 00:26:12,206 --> 00:26:13,908 was gonna be this nice, but, um... 425 00:26:14,875 --> 00:26:17,211 -You look amazing. -Thank you. 426 00:26:18,679 --> 00:26:20,214 Welcome to L'oie. 427 00:26:20,347 --> 00:26:21,749 May I offer you a beverage? 428 00:26:21,882 --> 00:26:24,018 -Um, I'm good. Thank you. -Yeah, please. How about 429 00:26:24,151 --> 00:26:26,287 a bottle of champagne, maybe two glasses? 430 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:27,588 Oh, uh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. 431 00:26:27,721 --> 00:26:30,724 -No offense, but we're working. -None taken. 432 00:26:30,858 --> 00:26:31,959 I'll be right back. 433 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,962 So, where you from? 434 00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:37,965 Uh, Phoenix. 435 00:26:38,099 --> 00:26:39,300 Do you have siblings? 436 00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:41,035 No. 437 00:26:41,168 --> 00:26:43,104 Are your parents still together? 438 00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:46,740 -Mm-hmm. -Well, that's nice. 439 00:26:46,874 --> 00:26:49,076 Yeah, I'd love to grow old with somebody. 440 00:26:49,210 --> 00:26:50,411 Change their Depends? 441 00:26:50,545 --> 00:26:51,812 You know, 442 00:26:51,946 --> 00:26:54,748 I don't immediately go to poop when I think about love, 443 00:26:54,882 --> 00:26:57,751 but yeah. I would change an adult diaper 444 00:26:57,885 --> 00:26:59,653 if it was in the name of love. 445 00:27:07,128 --> 00:27:08,496 Here we are. 446 00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:09,997 -Thank you. -Thank you. 447 00:27:10,131 --> 00:27:11,398 -Miss? -Yeah. 448 00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:14,301 Didn't want any, but thank you. 449 00:27:16,270 --> 00:27:17,471 And for you, sir? 450 00:27:19,907 --> 00:27:22,009 -Thank you very much. -Enjoy. 451 00:27:22,143 --> 00:27:23,144 What do you say? 452 00:27:24,579 --> 00:27:25,946 -To love? -Mm. 453 00:27:29,950 --> 00:27:30,951 Okay. 454 00:27:32,353 --> 00:27:34,822 -Listen, this is all very cute. -Mm-hmm. 455 00:27:34,955 --> 00:27:36,558 -And you're smooth. -Oh, thanks. 456 00:27:36,690 --> 00:27:38,159 But I'm just trying 457 00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:40,629 to salvage whatever's left of my career here, so can we skip 458 00:27:40,761 --> 00:27:43,364 whatever this is and get to cracking this campaign? 459 00:27:43,497 --> 00:27:44,665 -By all means. -Okay. 460 00:27:44,798 --> 00:27:46,200 I have a couple ideas in here. 461 00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:48,537 Some probably suck, but I'm sure there's a-- 462 00:27:48,669 --> 00:27:50,871 You've had your heart broken recently. 463 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,342 -I'm sorry, what? -No, I just like to think 464 00:27:55,476 --> 00:27:58,279 I'm intuitive with these things and... 465 00:27:59,413 --> 00:28:01,048 Ew. Yeah, no. 466 00:28:01,182 --> 00:28:02,850 I did not get my heart broken... 467 00:28:02,983 --> 00:28:03,984 -Mm-hmm. -...recently. 468 00:28:04,118 --> 00:28:05,587 And it's really none of your business. 469 00:28:05,719 --> 00:28:07,188 Oh, you're totally right, it's not. 470 00:28:07,321 --> 00:28:09,524 Definitely not. Okay. Um, is... 471 00:28:09,658 --> 00:28:12,359 It's just your campaign. 472 00:28:12,493 --> 00:28:16,163 Doomed lovers? I mean, it hardly screams romance to me. 473 00:28:17,532 --> 00:28:20,201 The most romantic stories of all time are doomed. 474 00:28:20,334 --> 00:28:22,671 You got husbands, wives, 475 00:28:22,803 --> 00:28:24,405 partners, twin flames, soulmates. 476 00:28:24,539 --> 00:28:27,308 Whatever you wanna call it, it's all gonna end. 477 00:28:27,441 --> 00:28:28,842 It's just a matter of time before 478 00:28:28,976 --> 00:28:30,411 someone cheats, bails, or dies. 479 00:28:30,545 --> 00:28:32,980 What about butterflies in your stomach? 480 00:28:33,113 --> 00:28:35,517 A lightning bolt to the heart? 481 00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:37,084 Cozy Sundays in bed? 482 00:28:37,218 --> 00:28:39,753 What's next, birth charts and long walks on the beach? 483 00:28:39,887 --> 00:28:42,022 I like those things, but I get it, not for everyone. 484 00:28:42,156 --> 00:28:44,091 You wanna know how I feel about romance? 485 00:28:44,225 --> 00:28:45,226 Yeah. 486 00:28:47,061 --> 00:28:48,395 It's a farce. 487 00:28:50,197 --> 00:28:52,601 A lie. 488 00:28:52,733 --> 00:28:56,070 -Not to everyone, I know that. -Some people get... 489 00:28:56,203 --> 00:29:00,441 ...really lucky and stumble into something real and forever. 490 00:29:00,575 --> 00:29:02,076 But the other 99% of us 491 00:29:02,209 --> 00:29:04,945 are just bouncing from one failed experiment to the next, 492 00:29:05,079 --> 00:29:07,881 chasing the same regurgitated fairy-tale bullshit 493 00:29:08,015 --> 00:29:10,719 that's been stuffed into our brains since we were kids. 494 00:29:10,851 --> 00:29:12,086 Prince Charming? 495 00:29:12,219 --> 00:29:13,988 Till you catch him fucking your sister. 496 00:29:14,121 --> 00:29:15,624 I thought you were an only child. 497 00:29:15,756 --> 00:29:17,291 -It's a metaphor. Jesus. -Right. 498 00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:20,227 My point is, it's not real. 499 00:29:20,361 --> 00:29:23,397 And somehow, I landed a job that forces me to propagate 500 00:29:23,531 --> 00:29:25,567 a fantasy in order to sell blood diamonds 501 00:29:25,700 --> 00:29:27,468 harvested from third-world slave labor, 502 00:29:27,602 --> 00:29:29,203 so please forgive me if I'm not swept away 503 00:29:29,336 --> 00:29:31,972 by your magical notions of romance, Jay. 504 00:29:32,106 --> 00:29:33,107 Wow. 505 00:29:34,408 --> 00:29:35,744 That's really... 506 00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:37,945 What? 507 00:29:39,079 --> 00:29:40,080 ...sad. 508 00:29:45,419 --> 00:29:47,454 Why are you single? 509 00:29:47,589 --> 00:29:50,257 -Excuse me? -No, really, Mr. Romantic... 510 00:29:51,526 --> 00:29:52,826 doe-eyed, first love, 511 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,329 Esther Perel mama's boy know-it-all. Why are you single? 512 00:29:55,462 --> 00:29:57,431 -Well... -Are you really looking for love 513 00:29:57,565 --> 00:29:59,668 or are you just another fake-ass, ho-hunting, 514 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,636 -ankle-cuff prick in a suit? -Oh, my God. 515 00:30:01,770 --> 00:30:02,737 You know, you don't know me. 516 00:30:02,870 --> 00:30:04,405 And you don't get to cast judgment 517 00:30:04,539 --> 00:30:06,907 just because I don't think like you, okay? 518 00:30:12,946 --> 00:30:13,947 Yeah, um... 519 00:30:15,583 --> 00:30:18,452 I think you were right. Tonight's a bad night. 520 00:30:19,987 --> 00:30:21,889 Should've just let you clear your head. 521 00:30:22,022 --> 00:30:24,291 Um, don't worry about the champagne. It's on Crystal. 522 00:30:34,636 --> 00:30:39,574 Jay! Jay, hey-- I'm sorry, okay? You win. 523 00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:42,176 Listen, I told you it was fine and I meant it. It's all good. 524 00:30:42,309 --> 00:30:44,345 No, I had a really rough day and... 525 00:30:44,478 --> 00:30:45,547 and I took it out on you 526 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,549 and that was shitty and-and wrong and... 527 00:30:47,682 --> 00:30:49,350 Jay, please, I can't lose this job. 528 00:30:49,483 --> 00:30:51,285 Ally, I am not gonna take your job. 529 00:30:52,186 --> 00:30:53,621 Although it does seem like 530 00:30:53,755 --> 00:30:55,557 you don't really want this job, but... 531 00:30:56,825 --> 00:30:59,259 This is me, so... 532 00:30:59,393 --> 00:31:02,062 I'm gonna go back to the hotel, brainstorm some creative, 533 00:31:02,196 --> 00:31:03,631 see what we can salvage from the-- Oh. 534 00:31:09,436 --> 00:31:10,404 Ally? 535 00:31:13,374 --> 00:31:16,043 Collin! What are you doing here? 536 00:31:16,176 --> 00:31:18,879 Um, well, Sienna and I are on a little dinner date, actually. 537 00:31:19,012 --> 00:31:21,248 -I've heard so much about you. -Really? 538 00:31:22,116 --> 00:31:23,083 Why? 539 00:31:24,218 --> 00:31:25,787 And, uh, you are? 540 00:31:25,919 --> 00:31:27,287 Oh, Jay. I'm Ally's... 541 00:31:27,421 --> 00:31:29,423 -He's my friend-- Boyfriend. -...Boyfriend. 542 00:31:29,557 --> 00:31:30,891 Friend. Boyfriend. 543 00:31:31,024 --> 00:31:32,694 I didn't know you had a boyfriend. 544 00:31:32,827 --> 00:31:35,195 -Yeah! -Yeah. 545 00:31:35,329 --> 00:31:36,698 Yeah. I mean, why would you? 546 00:31:36,831 --> 00:31:39,868 It's not like I publicize it on social media or anything. 547 00:31:42,570 --> 00:31:44,438 Uh, well, it's nice to meet you, Jay. 548 00:31:44,572 --> 00:31:47,542 Pleasure. So, um, dinner, huh? 549 00:31:47,675 --> 00:31:49,910 Yeah. It was supposed to be a double date, 550 00:31:50,043 --> 00:31:51,880 uh, but unfortunately... 551 00:31:52,913 --> 00:31:54,381 -Ooh. -What does that mean? 552 00:31:54,516 --> 00:31:58,419 Well, you know the couple that got murdered up at the winery? 553 00:31:58,553 --> 00:32:00,487 -What, you know them? -We worked together. 554 00:32:00,622 --> 00:32:02,289 -Played racquetball. -Racquetball. 555 00:32:03,290 --> 00:32:04,759 It's tragic, really. 556 00:32:04,893 --> 00:32:06,761 -You still kept the reservation? -And you still came to dinner? 557 00:32:06,895 --> 00:32:08,797 -Of course. In their honor. -Oh. 558 00:32:08,929 --> 00:32:10,565 -Wow. -Well, a lot to 559 00:32:10,698 --> 00:32:12,199 eat in there and it's good. 560 00:32:12,332 --> 00:32:14,101 We should go. See you, Ally, as well, and... 561 00:32:14,234 --> 00:32:15,335 You have such a sexy suit. 562 00:32:15,469 --> 00:32:16,738 -Oh, that's a sexy dress. -Yeah. Oh, yeah. 563 00:32:16,871 --> 00:32:18,238 You guys have a good dinner. 564 00:32:18,372 --> 00:32:19,440 Happy Valentine's Day! 565 00:32:19,574 --> 00:32:20,608 Happy V-Day! 566 00:32:20,742 --> 00:32:22,544 Don't get killed, all right? 567 00:32:22,677 --> 00:32:25,446 -What was-- -Why would he say that? 568 00:32:25,580 --> 00:32:27,414 That was weird. Oh, you're coming with me. 569 00:32:27,549 --> 00:32:29,950 That was so embarrassing. 570 00:32:44,998 --> 00:32:46,467 Thank you. 571 00:32:49,336 --> 00:32:52,172 Not a... not a problem. 572 00:32:59,581 --> 00:33:02,382 So is it the accent? Is that what it is? 573 00:33:02,517 --> 00:33:04,318 Women love that fucking accent. 574 00:33:04,451 --> 00:33:06,487 God, I can't stand it now. 575 00:33:07,889 --> 00:33:10,123 Brits are so unemotional. 576 00:33:10,257 --> 00:33:11,492 Mm. 577 00:33:11,626 --> 00:33:16,463 Well, that would explain the dead friends' resy. 578 00:33:16,598 --> 00:33:19,567 Love is a beautiful thing, no? 579 00:33:19,701 --> 00:33:21,803 -Oh, we-we just work together. -No, we're not a couple. 580 00:33:21,936 --> 00:33:23,771 -But you just kissed, no? -Oh. See, no, 581 00:33:23,905 --> 00:33:25,205 that was a performance 582 00:33:25,339 --> 00:33:28,008 to seem maybe more desirable and perhaps less pathetic 583 00:33:28,141 --> 00:33:31,579 -in front of her ex. -Oh. You love Spotify? 584 00:33:31,713 --> 00:33:34,716 I have Ultimate Sexies playlist and-- 585 00:33:34,849 --> 00:33:36,416 -I love Spotify. -Yeah, we're-- No, we're okay. 586 00:33:36,551 --> 00:33:37,585 -Thank you. -Okay. 587 00:33:37,719 --> 00:33:39,219 Can we add a stop? 588 00:33:40,688 --> 00:33:42,524 Again, I'm really sorry about tonight. 589 00:33:42,657 --> 00:33:44,191 I swear I'm not a lunatic. 590 00:33:44,324 --> 00:33:47,261 That's exactly what I think a lunatic would say. 591 00:33:48,395 --> 00:33:49,396 Okay. 592 00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,635 Have fun at your best friend's wedding. 593 00:33:53,768 --> 00:33:55,670 Thank you. 594 00:34:01,643 --> 00:34:02,911 -Okey dokey. -Yeah. 595 00:34:08,550 --> 00:34:09,551 What the... 596 00:34:11,118 --> 00:34:12,152 No! 597 00:34:12,286 --> 00:34:15,289 Next stop, 2640 Westlake Avenue South, sir? 598 00:34:17,391 --> 00:34:20,628 Hey, can you hold off a second? I think she locked herself out. 599 00:34:20,762 --> 00:34:22,730 You know what you should do? 600 00:34:22,864 --> 00:34:25,098 You should go to her, 601 00:34:25,232 --> 00:34:28,201 tell her you love her, then never let her go. 602 00:34:31,673 --> 00:34:35,108 Right. Right. Yeah, you just keep that meter running. 603 00:34:37,077 --> 00:34:39,747 Howdy. Everything okay? 604 00:34:40,414 --> 00:34:42,182 No. 605 00:34:42,316 --> 00:34:44,786 No, I think I left my keys in a dressing room somewhere. 606 00:34:44,919 --> 00:34:46,353 Oh. 607 00:34:46,486 --> 00:34:48,723 Oh, my God. This night could not get any worse. 608 00:34:48,856 --> 00:34:50,558 You have a spare hidden? 609 00:34:50,692 --> 00:34:53,895 Yeah, under a mat upstairs. 610 00:34:55,128 --> 00:34:57,065 It's okay. I'll just break the window. 611 00:34:57,197 --> 00:34:59,734 No. What are you talking about, breaking windows? No. 612 00:34:59,867 --> 00:35:01,569 No, it's fine. My landlord loves me. 613 00:35:01,703 --> 00:35:03,738 Well, if you're serious, maybe just, you know, let me do it. 614 00:35:03,871 --> 00:35:05,640 -I can break a window. -No, I know you can 615 00:35:05,773 --> 00:35:07,775 break a window, but if you cut yourself-- 616 00:35:07,909 --> 00:35:09,443 I'm not gonna cut myself. 617 00:35:10,612 --> 00:35:12,379 Knock yourself out. 618 00:35:12,513 --> 00:35:15,282 Just know I don't condone this. I'm worried for your safety. 619 00:35:15,415 --> 00:35:17,785 And you're punching with your thumb inside your hand, 620 00:35:17,919 --> 00:35:20,187 -which is not a good thing. -Okay, yeah. You're gonna do it. 621 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,590 Yeah. Why don't you hold that? Came prepared. 622 00:35:24,792 --> 00:35:26,293 Ah, not so bad. 623 00:35:26,426 --> 00:35:28,195 That's bad. 624 00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:30,698 I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. 625 00:35:30,832 --> 00:35:32,800 No, no, I'm sorry I'm bleeding all over your floor. 626 00:35:32,934 --> 00:35:36,269 Here. Okay. Let's run it under some water. 627 00:35:36,403 --> 00:35:38,106 Mm. 628 00:35:38,238 --> 00:35:40,273 -Thanks. -Okay, you're just gonna wash up 629 00:35:40,407 --> 00:35:41,475 in here for a sec. 630 00:35:42,309 --> 00:35:43,578 Oh, God. 631 00:35:43,711 --> 00:35:46,313 Um, sorry it's so messy. 632 00:35:46,446 --> 00:35:47,649 I had a house cleaner, 633 00:35:47,782 --> 00:35:50,551 but she won the lottery last week and fired me. 634 00:35:50,685 --> 00:35:53,320 Really? How much did she win? 635 00:35:53,453 --> 00:35:55,723 Uh, like, a million dollars. 636 00:35:55,857 --> 00:36:00,962 Damn. Well, I hope you find a replacement soon. 637 00:36:04,999 --> 00:36:07,367 Aw. Cute. 638 00:36:08,736 --> 00:36:11,005 I was Pikachu for Halloween too. 639 00:36:11,139 --> 00:36:13,007 Oh, yeah. That wasn't Halloween. 640 00:36:13,141 --> 00:36:14,642 Well, what was it? 641 00:36:14,776 --> 00:36:17,011 It was Tuesday. Yeah, I was pretty obsessed. 642 00:36:17,145 --> 00:36:18,546 Wore that shit everywhere. 643 00:36:20,414 --> 00:36:22,349 -I'll take that. -It was on your shelf. 644 00:36:22,482 --> 00:36:23,885 No, I really wasn't expecting company. 645 00:36:24,018 --> 00:36:25,086 Ever? 646 00:36:25,218 --> 00:36:26,688 Why don't you just take a seat 647 00:36:26,821 --> 00:36:28,556 while I look for the first aid kit? 648 00:36:32,060 --> 00:36:33,427 Huh. 649 00:36:34,962 --> 00:36:35,930 Found it! 650 00:36:40,535 --> 00:36:41,536 Jay? 651 00:36:48,676 --> 00:36:49,977 Excuse you. 652 00:36:50,111 --> 00:36:52,680 I'm sorry. I didn't wanna sit on your nice clothes. 653 00:36:54,182 --> 00:36:55,783 Oh. 654 00:36:57,752 --> 00:36:59,352 Would you relax? 655 00:36:59,486 --> 00:37:01,421 It's just a very expensive jacket. 656 00:37:02,990 --> 00:37:04,759 Let's see your hand. 657 00:37:06,527 --> 00:37:08,696 -Ooh. -Careful now. 658 00:37:09,564 --> 00:37:10,565 Does it hurt? 659 00:37:11,833 --> 00:37:13,101 No, actually. 660 00:37:13,233 --> 00:37:14,702 You're really good at this. 661 00:37:14,836 --> 00:37:16,369 Did you go to med school or something? 662 00:37:16,504 --> 00:37:20,074 I dropped out actually. 663 00:37:20,208 --> 00:37:22,176 I really can't do blood. 664 00:37:22,309 --> 00:37:23,745 -No way. -Way. 665 00:37:23,878 --> 00:37:25,213 Hmm. 666 00:37:25,345 --> 00:37:27,915 Well, I think you're doing a pretty good job right now, 667 00:37:28,049 --> 00:37:29,817 if I do say so myself. 668 00:37:29,951 --> 00:37:31,485 -Uh... -Oh. 669 00:37:31,619 --> 00:37:33,487 This is why we dropped out of med school 670 00:37:33,621 --> 00:37:35,355 and pivoted to advertising. 671 00:37:37,225 --> 00:37:38,659 You're funny. 672 00:37:38,793 --> 00:37:40,728 -Am I? -I think so, yeah. 673 00:37:45,332 --> 00:37:47,602 Would you mind? My hair, falling in my face. 674 00:37:47,735 --> 00:37:48,970 -Oh, of course. -Thank you. 675 00:37:56,577 --> 00:37:59,279 -Okay. There we go. -Oh, wow. 676 00:38:03,885 --> 00:38:05,753 So, you mind my asking 677 00:38:05,887 --> 00:38:08,656 what kind of medicine you were planning on going into? 678 00:38:08,790 --> 00:38:11,159 Uh, nephrology. 679 00:38:11,291 --> 00:38:12,794 That's the liver. 680 00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:13,895 Kidneys. 681 00:38:14,028 --> 00:38:15,263 -Nailed it. Damn. -Yeah. 682 00:38:15,395 --> 00:38:16,764 Well, why that? 683 00:38:16,898 --> 00:38:19,066 I had a family member that was pretty sick. 684 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:20,433 Mm-hmm. 685 00:38:20,568 --> 00:38:23,771 Guess I, I don't know, thought I could fix people. 686 00:38:25,973 --> 00:38:28,341 Anyway, now I'm considered hemophobic. 687 00:38:28,475 --> 00:38:29,944 Oh. 688 00:38:30,077 --> 00:38:33,214 -I didn't take you for a bigot. -Okay, wow. 689 00:38:33,346 --> 00:38:36,951 Between that and coffee mates, your dad jokes are top-notch. 690 00:38:38,485 --> 00:38:41,956 I'm being facetious obviously. Your jokes are cheesy as-- 691 00:38:42,089 --> 00:38:43,057 Fuck! 692 00:38:43,891 --> 00:38:45,325 Ally! Ally! 693 00:38:45,458 --> 00:38:47,360 Oh, shit! 694 00:38:57,138 --> 00:38:59,372 Fuck you! No, no, no, no, no, no! 695 00:39:00,842 --> 00:39:02,910 Run! 696 00:39:05,046 --> 00:39:06,314 Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! 697 00:39:06,446 --> 00:39:07,915 What are you doing? 698 00:39:08,049 --> 00:39:09,250 Get your mind out of the gutter! 699 00:39:09,382 --> 00:39:11,219 Yep, yep, yep, yep. Come on. Come on, come on! 700 00:39:11,351 --> 00:39:13,453 Come on, come on! 701 00:39:13,588 --> 00:39:15,156 Come on, come on, come on! 702 00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:17,191 -You got it? -Yes! 703 00:39:20,194 --> 00:39:21,195 Good job. 704 00:39:22,530 --> 00:39:23,531 Thanks. 705 00:39:25,099 --> 00:39:27,201 Hey, you good? 706 00:39:27,335 --> 00:39:28,736 Yeah. 707 00:39:31,371 --> 00:39:34,342 -Help! He's trying to kill us! -Oh, here's lovebirds. 708 00:39:36,544 --> 00:39:38,112 No! No, no, no. You've got the wrong people. 709 00:39:38,246 --> 00:39:40,348 -Hey. What are you doing? -He only kills couples, right? 710 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,083 We're not a couple! We barely know each other. 711 00:39:42,216 --> 00:39:44,118 So back the fuck off! 712 00:39:44,252 --> 00:39:46,053 911, what's your emergency? 713 00:39:46,821 --> 00:39:47,989 Run! 714 00:39:50,892 --> 00:39:53,261 Help! Help! 715 00:39:54,195 --> 00:39:55,162 Help us! 716 00:40:02,670 --> 00:40:04,272 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 717 00:40:04,404 --> 00:40:05,405 What? 718 00:40:07,508 --> 00:40:08,576 Did you hear that? 719 00:40:10,544 --> 00:40:11,612 I don't hear anything. 720 00:40:11,746 --> 00:40:13,547 Oh, shit! 721 00:40:14,447 --> 00:40:15,448 Ally! 722 00:40:16,416 --> 00:40:18,019 Get off of her! 723 00:40:18,152 --> 00:40:19,854 Hey, hey! 724 00:42:54,909 --> 00:42:55,876 No! 725 00:42:56,010 --> 00:42:57,945 No! No! No! 726 00:43:00,014 --> 00:43:01,916 Help! He's right behind... 727 00:43:03,584 --> 00:43:04,553 Here! 728 00:43:04,685 --> 00:43:06,020 ...me. 729 00:43:07,788 --> 00:43:10,791 He was-- He was right here. 730 00:43:10,925 --> 00:43:12,226 I'll go check it out. 731 00:43:14,195 --> 00:43:15,129 Oh, my God. Jay. 732 00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,965 -Jay, is he okay? -I don't know who 733 00:43:18,099 --> 00:43:19,800 -you're talking about. -Jay Simmonds. 734 00:43:19,934 --> 00:43:22,236 We were with each other all night and-and we got attacked 735 00:43:22,369 --> 00:43:23,904 and we got separated back there. I... 736 00:43:24,038 --> 00:43:26,107 -You just left him? -No, I didn't leave him! 737 00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:28,642 All units. All units, stand down. 738 00:43:28,776 --> 00:43:30,478 We have Heart Eyes. 739 00:43:30,611 --> 00:43:32,547 -I repeat, we have Heart Eyes. -Yes! We got that motherfucker! 740 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,381 Seattle PD, baby! Fuck, yeah! 741 00:43:34,516 --> 00:43:35,483 On behalf of 742 00:43:35,616 --> 00:43:36,617 Seattle PD, I just wanna say... 743 00:43:36,750 --> 00:43:37,985 Yeah, congratulations. 744 00:43:38,119 --> 00:43:39,987 Incredible teamwork, huh? 745 00:43:43,624 --> 00:43:45,826 Hey! Hey, you need to back up! 746 00:43:47,328 --> 00:43:49,130 -Fucking weirdos. -What did I do? 747 00:43:49,263 --> 00:43:50,264 Detectives. 748 00:43:52,266 --> 00:43:53,334 Here she is. 749 00:43:54,368 --> 00:43:55,570 Detective Zeke Hobbs. 750 00:43:55,703 --> 00:43:57,905 This is my partner, Detective Jeanine Shaw. 751 00:44:00,407 --> 00:44:01,408 Hobbs and Shaw? 752 00:44:03,144 --> 00:44:04,411 Like the movie? 753 00:44:07,248 --> 00:44:09,016 -Haven't heard of it. -Haven't seen it. 754 00:44:09,150 --> 00:44:11,652 -We're here to ID a murderer. -Oh, my God. Jay? 755 00:44:12,786 --> 00:44:13,787 Jay! 756 00:44:14,955 --> 00:44:16,957 -Jay, are you okay? -Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 757 00:44:18,459 --> 00:44:19,460 -Jay! -Nope. 758 00:44:20,595 --> 00:44:22,163 Jay, are you okay? 759 00:44:22,296 --> 00:44:25,466 Uh, no, Ally, I'm not okay. 760 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,169 Thank you for asking. You ditched me. 761 00:44:28,936 --> 00:44:31,005 What? I did not ditch you! 762 00:44:31,138 --> 00:44:34,041 Oh, yes, you did! You absolutely ditched me. We were a team. 763 00:44:34,175 --> 00:44:37,678 I was being chased by a fucking serial killer! 764 00:44:37,811 --> 00:44:41,916 I know! I also was being chased by a serial killer. 765 00:44:42,049 --> 00:44:44,852 -What the fuck does that mean? -Jay, you're tall and ripped 766 00:44:44,985 --> 00:44:47,556 and perfectly capable of defending yourself. 767 00:44:47,688 --> 00:44:49,890 Ally, I really appreciate the compliments, 768 00:44:50,024 --> 00:44:51,258 especially coming from you, 769 00:44:51,392 --> 00:44:53,260 but right now is not the time, okay? 770 00:44:53,394 --> 00:44:55,362 These muscles were not made for violence! 771 00:44:55,496 --> 00:44:56,631 They're for cuddling! 772 00:44:56,764 --> 00:44:58,199 -Okay. -Hey, we're talking here! 773 00:44:58,332 --> 00:45:00,401 Guys, this was not him. We were together all night. 774 00:45:00,535 --> 00:45:02,069 Heart Eyes was after both of us. 775 00:45:02,203 --> 00:45:05,507 Ma'am... We found this man in the park wearing this 776 00:45:06,807 --> 00:45:08,342 and in possession of this. 777 00:45:08,475 --> 00:45:09,578 Come on! 778 00:45:09,710 --> 00:45:11,879 No, that's-- That's not possible. 779 00:45:12,012 --> 00:45:13,180 Jay didn't do this. 780 00:45:14,014 --> 00:45:15,015 Maybe. 781 00:45:16,417 --> 00:45:18,018 Maybe Jay wasn't acting alone. 782 00:45:19,053 --> 00:45:20,087 -What? -What? 783 00:45:20,221 --> 00:45:21,623 We're gonna have to take your 784 00:45:21,755 --> 00:45:23,724 tall, ripped friend in for questioning. 785 00:45:26,260 --> 00:45:28,362 Oh! 786 00:45:28,495 --> 00:45:31,700 Hey, good going. Really great. 787 00:45:34,068 --> 00:45:35,670 See you at the station, I guess. 788 00:45:38,405 --> 00:45:40,374 Fuck. 789 00:45:43,410 --> 00:45:44,411 What is this? 790 00:45:45,179 --> 00:45:46,146 That's a ring. 791 00:45:47,948 --> 00:45:50,217 -Read it. -Read what? 792 00:45:50,351 --> 00:45:52,453 Let me help you out. Let me help you out. 793 00:45:52,587 --> 00:45:53,588 It says, "JS." 794 00:45:56,123 --> 00:45:58,459 -As in "Jay Simmonds." -"Jay Simmonds." 795 00:45:58,593 --> 00:46:00,528 You are really good. 796 00:46:00,662 --> 00:46:02,363 You're really good at detective work. 797 00:46:02,496 --> 00:46:04,098 That was really-- It's impressive. 798 00:46:09,103 --> 00:46:10,104 That sarcasm? 799 00:46:11,573 --> 00:46:14,676 A, I am not married. 800 00:46:14,808 --> 00:46:18,946 B, why would I leave a wedding band at the scene of the crime? 801 00:46:19,079 --> 00:46:20,147 And C, 802 00:46:20,281 --> 00:46:22,483 who gets their own initials 803 00:46:22,617 --> 00:46:24,753 engraved in their own fucking wedding band? 804 00:46:24,885 --> 00:46:25,986 Also, D, 805 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,489 yes, that was sarcasm. 806 00:46:28,623 --> 00:46:30,659 -Hey, hey, hey! Hobbs. -Hey, relax. Relax! 807 00:46:30,791 --> 00:46:32,426 Take five. Go. Go. 808 00:46:33,695 --> 00:46:34,663 Cool down. 809 00:46:35,296 --> 00:46:36,263 Come on. 810 00:46:36,397 --> 00:46:37,498 Come on. 811 00:46:44,739 --> 00:46:47,274 I'm sorry. He can get a little hot under the collar. 812 00:46:47,408 --> 00:46:49,009 Yeah. No kidding. 813 00:46:49,143 --> 00:46:51,111 Do you need anything? Water, coffee? 814 00:46:51,245 --> 00:46:54,616 -I am fine, thank you very much. -Okay. 815 00:46:59,286 --> 00:47:00,287 Just you and me. 816 00:47:06,728 --> 00:47:08,663 I want you to look me in the eyes 817 00:47:09,830 --> 00:47:11,165 and tell me the truth. 818 00:47:14,803 --> 00:47:15,804 All right. 819 00:47:16,638 --> 00:47:18,038 How long have you known Ally? 820 00:47:18,172 --> 00:47:19,808 Fourteen hours. 821 00:47:21,875 --> 00:47:23,243 You seem to care about her. 822 00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:28,315 Yeah. Maybe I do. 823 00:47:32,152 --> 00:47:34,823 But that ring. That's... It's not yours, correct? 824 00:47:34,955 --> 00:47:37,491 No. Again, I am not married. 825 00:47:38,158 --> 00:47:39,326 You're not married. 826 00:47:39,460 --> 00:47:40,829 I mean, it's not, like, by choice or anything. 827 00:47:40,961 --> 00:47:43,330 I just haven't met the right person. 828 00:47:43,464 --> 00:47:44,532 You're telling me. 829 00:47:45,667 --> 00:47:48,035 -You're-- -Single. Shocker. 830 00:47:50,137 --> 00:47:51,105 Kind of. 831 00:47:52,039 --> 00:47:53,708 No-- You really, um... 832 00:47:58,078 --> 00:48:00,849 Okay. Um... 833 00:48:00,981 --> 00:48:03,217 Lady, I have been waiting here for over an hour. 834 00:48:03,350 --> 00:48:05,520 First of all, it's "officer." 835 00:48:05,653 --> 00:48:07,221 Second, I already told you 836 00:48:07,354 --> 00:48:08,922 they're interrogating the suspect. 837 00:48:09,056 --> 00:48:11,425 And I already told you they're interrogating the wrong guy. 838 00:48:11,559 --> 00:48:13,260 Can you please just go back there 839 00:48:13,394 --> 00:48:15,162 and give me some sort of information? 840 00:48:15,295 --> 00:48:17,532 Sorry, Fran. The ethernet cable was all frayed. 841 00:48:17,665 --> 00:48:20,602 -Should be working now. -Thanks, David. 842 00:48:20,735 --> 00:48:24,471 What's a five-letter word for a dog ending in H? 843 00:48:24,606 --> 00:48:25,607 Bitch? 844 00:48:26,340 --> 00:48:27,307 Excuse me? 845 00:48:28,075 --> 00:48:29,076 Female dog. 846 00:48:31,846 --> 00:48:34,849 Oh, yeah. Thanks. 847 00:48:34,982 --> 00:48:37,852 Can you please go back there now and give me some sort of update? 848 00:48:40,387 --> 00:48:42,256 -Fine. -Thank you. 849 00:48:42,389 --> 00:48:44,859 Hey. Do we know each other? 850 00:48:45,727 --> 00:48:47,595 No, I don't think so. 851 00:48:48,495 --> 00:48:49,831 Bumble. 852 00:48:49,963 --> 00:48:52,499 Yeah, no. I'm... I'm not on the apps. 853 00:48:52,634 --> 00:48:54,836 Oh. It's a waste of time anyway. 854 00:48:54,968 --> 00:48:56,003 Hmm. 855 00:48:57,938 --> 00:49:00,575 Just shooting my shot here. Um... 856 00:49:00,708 --> 00:49:03,143 Could I take you out to coffee sometime? I'll pay for it. 857 00:49:03,277 --> 00:49:06,447 I almost got murdered tonight. 858 00:49:08,282 --> 00:49:10,718 -I am so sorry. Um... -Yeah. 859 00:49:10,852 --> 00:49:12,787 Stay safe. Have a good night. 860 00:49:12,921 --> 00:49:14,589 Thank you. 861 00:49:14,722 --> 00:49:17,057 Where the hell is everybody? 862 00:49:17,725 --> 00:49:18,726 Celebrating. 863 00:49:20,762 --> 00:49:22,129 They caught Heart Eyes. 864 00:49:33,942 --> 00:49:36,276 So, what else do you want to tell me? 865 00:49:36,410 --> 00:49:38,278 I'm not a serial killer. 866 00:49:39,446 --> 00:49:40,815 So there's that. 867 00:49:40,949 --> 00:49:44,519 Were you in Boston in February of '23 868 00:49:44,652 --> 00:49:46,754 and Philadelphia in February of '24? 869 00:49:48,422 --> 00:49:49,524 I... 870 00:49:49,657 --> 00:49:52,159 Let me rephrase. You were in Boston and Philly. 871 00:49:52,292 --> 00:49:53,661 Same dates and locations 872 00:49:53,795 --> 00:49:55,797 as HEK's two prior killing sprees. 873 00:49:57,532 --> 00:49:59,500 Jay, I got to admit... 874 00:49:59,634 --> 00:50:01,301 that doesn't look very good. 875 00:50:02,302 --> 00:50:04,004 I don't know what you want me to say. 876 00:50:04,137 --> 00:50:07,942 I'm a freelancer, so yeah, I travel for, like, work. 877 00:50:09,511 --> 00:50:11,846 Do you ever get lonely on the road? 878 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,684 I like to think that I can keep myself busy. 879 00:50:16,818 --> 00:50:18,485 Yeah? How? 880 00:50:19,521 --> 00:50:20,555 How do you blow off steam 881 00:50:20,688 --> 00:50:22,891 when you're alone with your thoughts, Jay? 882 00:50:25,660 --> 00:50:27,060 Do you go to a vineyard? 883 00:50:28,228 --> 00:50:29,396 Maybe a spa? 884 00:50:39,641 --> 00:50:40,575 Holy... Who-- 885 00:50:43,377 --> 00:50:45,580 So, for HEK to come out of the blue 886 00:50:45,713 --> 00:50:49,017 and denounce Valentine's Day and all it stands for... 887 00:50:49,149 --> 00:50:50,384 Hello? 888 00:50:50,518 --> 00:50:52,085 ...by cutting these couples down to size. 889 00:50:52,219 --> 00:50:54,589 In my professional opinion, what we have here... 890 00:50:55,690 --> 00:50:57,124 Detective. 891 00:50:57,257 --> 00:50:58,526 We got an HWW out front. 892 00:50:58,660 --> 00:50:59,928 What do you want me to do with her? 893 00:51:00,060 --> 00:51:01,194 An HWW? 894 00:51:01,328 --> 00:51:02,864 "Hysterical white woman." 895 00:51:02,997 --> 00:51:04,064 I'll handle her. 896 00:51:05,567 --> 00:51:07,134 You sit tight. 897 00:51:07,267 --> 00:51:08,970 We're not done yet. 898 00:51:11,071 --> 00:51:12,072 I'll be here. 899 00:51:13,041 --> 00:51:15,242 He just snapped. 900 00:51:15,375 --> 00:51:19,514 And he made it a point to kill again and again 901 00:51:19,647 --> 00:51:23,017 until the very concept of an entire day dedicated 902 00:51:23,150 --> 00:51:27,589 to couples and romance is eradicated. 903 00:51:27,722 --> 00:51:33,226 He sneaks into your house and waits in the dark. 904 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:37,431 Cunning and quiet as a corpse. 905 00:51:38,967 --> 00:51:41,970 And then, when you least expect it... 906 00:51:43,871 --> 00:51:48,910 he pulls out one of the many, many, many toys 907 00:51:49,043 --> 00:51:51,445 from his tools. 908 00:52:08,428 --> 00:52:09,697 What the hell are you doing? 909 00:52:09,831 --> 00:52:10,798 God... 910 00:52:10,932 --> 00:52:12,900 bless the USA. 911 00:52:13,034 --> 00:52:14,068 -Told ya. -Yeah. 912 00:52:14,201 --> 00:52:15,168 I'm so sorry. 913 00:52:16,403 --> 00:52:18,405 -Are you letting him go? -Not yet. 914 00:52:18,539 --> 00:52:19,473 Why the hell not? 915 00:52:19,607 --> 00:52:21,341 -He's innocent. -Mm-hmm. 916 00:52:21,475 --> 00:52:22,644 Well, then tell me something. 917 00:52:22,777 --> 00:52:24,612 Why is the Heart Eyes Killer after him? 918 00:52:24,746 --> 00:52:27,314 -You're not a couple. -I don't know. 919 00:52:27,447 --> 00:52:30,818 I assume he saw us and thought we were together. 920 00:52:30,952 --> 00:52:31,953 Why? 921 00:52:33,755 --> 00:52:34,722 We... 922 00:52:36,791 --> 00:52:37,825 kissed. 923 00:52:41,294 --> 00:52:43,865 We had-- We had to kiss. 924 00:52:45,133 --> 00:52:47,969 We had to kiss because... because my ex... 925 00:52:48,936 --> 00:52:51,471 he was there, and I was jealous. 926 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,609 -It's really stupid, I know. -Okay. 927 00:52:54,742 --> 00:52:55,710 I get it. 928 00:52:56,844 --> 00:52:57,845 I do. 929 00:53:01,783 --> 00:53:05,019 So you're not interested in him romantically? 930 00:53:06,219 --> 00:53:07,588 Why is that relevant? 931 00:53:08,523 --> 00:53:10,058 Just girl talk. 932 00:53:10,223 --> 00:53:11,993 I mean, he's cute, he has a... 933 00:53:12,694 --> 00:53:14,595 really good job. 934 00:53:16,296 --> 00:53:18,733 Perfect candidate for a little girl like yourself. 935 00:53:20,935 --> 00:53:22,670 A little girl like myself? 936 00:53:28,543 --> 00:53:29,744 Oh, relax. 937 00:53:29,877 --> 00:53:31,344 Probably just the breaker. 938 00:53:31,478 --> 00:53:32,513 That's what people say 939 00:53:32,647 --> 00:53:33,948 before they get stabbed to death. 940 00:53:35,583 --> 00:53:36,718 How would you know? 941 00:53:38,886 --> 00:53:39,887 Watch her. 942 00:53:42,355 --> 00:53:43,891 No, no, no, no, no. She said to watch me. 943 00:53:44,025 --> 00:53:45,927 Calm down, I'm just getting a flashlight. 944 00:53:46,060 --> 00:53:49,229 Little space? Any closer, you'd be inside me. 945 00:53:49,362 --> 00:53:51,065 I'm sorry. I'm just scared. 946 00:53:53,034 --> 00:53:55,368 No, no, no, no. Careful. He hides in closets. 947 00:54:04,512 --> 00:54:05,980 No killers in here. 948 00:54:50,558 --> 00:54:51,491 Help! 949 00:54:53,961 --> 00:54:55,263 Hey! Hey! What's happening? 950 00:54:55,395 --> 00:54:56,597 -He's here. -Who? 951 00:54:58,599 --> 00:54:59,934 Go! Get back! Get back! 952 00:55:07,575 --> 00:55:10,545 Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey! 953 00:55:10,678 --> 00:55:12,280 Where are you going? Uncuff me. 954 00:55:12,412 --> 00:55:14,381 Don't worry, lover boy. 955 00:55:14,515 --> 00:55:16,449 I'll protect you. 956 00:55:16,584 --> 00:55:19,319 No. No. No. 957 00:55:27,562 --> 00:55:29,096 God! Damn it! 958 00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:34,769 Shaw? 959 00:55:54,155 --> 00:55:55,156 Shaw! 960 00:56:31,158 --> 00:56:32,994 Jay? 961 00:56:33,127 --> 00:56:35,062 Jay! 962 00:56:35,196 --> 00:56:36,998 Jay, can you hear me? 963 00:56:37,131 --> 00:56:38,633 Uh, yes, yes, Ally. 964 00:56:38,766 --> 00:56:40,801 Ally, you've gotta find the keys. 965 00:56:40,935 --> 00:56:44,038 Uh, Hobbs has the keys, okay? You have to find Hobbs 966 00:56:44,171 --> 00:56:47,642 'cause he locked me in here like a fucking asshole. 967 00:56:49,777 --> 00:56:50,778 Ally? 968 00:56:53,814 --> 00:56:54,782 Ally? 969 00:56:58,819 --> 00:57:00,087 She ditched me. 970 00:57:02,489 --> 00:57:03,524 That's okay. 971 00:57:05,826 --> 00:57:06,761 Ally? 972 00:57:25,279 --> 00:57:26,280 Hey. 973 00:57:30,551 --> 00:57:31,552 Come on. 974 00:57:32,119 --> 00:57:33,421 Hey, come on. 975 00:57:33,554 --> 00:57:34,956 This is not fair! 976 00:57:37,124 --> 00:57:38,125 Shit! 977 00:57:47,935 --> 00:57:49,469 Die. 978 00:57:51,405 --> 00:57:52,506 Ally! Ally! 979 00:57:53,174 --> 00:57:54,809 Goddamn! I'm right here! 980 00:57:56,978 --> 00:57:58,512 Jay! 981 00:57:58,646 --> 00:57:59,647 Careful! Careful. 982 00:58:02,583 --> 00:58:04,285 -Hi. -Hi. 983 00:58:06,954 --> 00:58:08,255 Are you okay? 984 00:58:09,623 --> 00:58:11,559 You're a terrible shot, by the way. 985 00:58:11,692 --> 00:58:13,394 -Don't fucking push it, Romeo. -Ooh. 986 00:58:16,697 --> 00:58:18,532 -No! Hey! -Ally! 987 00:58:18,666 --> 00:58:20,668 -Stop! -No, no, no! Ally! 988 00:58:22,103 --> 00:58:23,337 Fucking assholes! 989 00:58:23,471 --> 00:58:24,672 You saved my life. 990 00:58:24,805 --> 00:58:25,873 You saved mine. 991 00:58:26,607 --> 00:58:27,608 I owed you one. 992 00:58:32,146 --> 00:58:33,381 We're not together! 993 00:58:33,514 --> 00:58:35,983 -Go kill somebody else! -Get up. Get up. Get up. 994 00:58:36,117 --> 00:58:37,685 -Get up. Get up. Get up. -He's coming. He's coming. 995 00:58:44,225 --> 00:58:47,228 Oh, fuck. Do you know what we just did? 996 00:58:47,361 --> 00:58:49,930 Yeah. We led a couples-killing maniac to a, uh... 997 00:58:50,064 --> 00:58:51,932 -To an all-you-can-kill buffet. -Come on. 998 00:58:52,066 --> 00:58:53,401 A big fat lummox like you 999 00:58:53,534 --> 00:58:54,935 hiring an aeroplane to write, 1000 00:58:55,069 --> 00:58:58,639 "Hildy, don't be hasty. Remember my dimple. Walter." 1001 00:58:58,773 --> 00:59:00,174 Delayed our divorce 20 minutes 1002 00:59:00,307 --> 00:59:02,009 while the judge went out to watch it. 1003 00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:08,015 Are you kidding me? 1004 00:59:09,950 --> 00:59:11,919 Oh, shit! 1005 00:59:20,761 --> 00:59:22,229 Yo, that costume is dope. 1006 00:59:25,900 --> 00:59:27,034 I don't like that. 1007 00:59:30,071 --> 00:59:31,605 That's not him, right? 1008 00:59:32,973 --> 00:59:34,041 What the fuck? 1009 00:59:34,175 --> 00:59:35,109 It is him! 1010 00:59:35,242 --> 00:59:36,677 Was it my fault? 1011 00:59:36,811 --> 00:59:38,946 Did I know that coal mine was gonna have another cave-in? 1012 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,116 I intended to be with you on our honeymoon, Hildy. 1013 00:59:42,249 --> 00:59:43,617 'Sup, man? 1014 00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:47,488 I spent two weeks in a coal mine 1015 00:59:47,621 --> 00:59:48,756 with John Kruptzky. 1016 00:59:48,889 --> 00:59:50,224 You don't deny that, do you, Walter? 1017 00:59:50,357 --> 00:59:51,526 Deny it? I'm proud of it. 1018 00:59:51,659 --> 00:59:53,127 We beat the whole country on that story. 1019 00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:55,229 Suppose we did. That isn't what I got married for! 1020 00:59:55,362 --> 00:59:56,330 Excuse us. 1021 00:59:57,865 --> 00:59:58,899 What a creep. 1022 01:00:04,038 --> 01:00:04,972 Left. Left. 1023 01:00:05,106 --> 01:00:07,141 No. Right. Go. Go, go, go. 1024 01:00:08,242 --> 01:00:09,243 Turn. 1025 01:00:11,779 --> 01:00:12,780 In here. 1026 01:00:26,595 --> 01:00:28,028 Hmm? 1027 01:00:28,162 --> 01:00:30,532 Put a fucking shirt on. There's a killer after us. 1028 01:00:30,664 --> 01:00:33,067 Mm. Oh, what is it? 1029 01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,269 The Heart Eyes Killer. 1030 01:00:35,402 --> 01:00:37,938 He's out there right now. We need to be quiet. 1031 01:00:38,072 --> 01:00:41,342 Oh! Dude, that's so hot. Fuck. 1032 01:00:41,475 --> 01:00:43,477 -We love role-play. -Yeah. 1033 01:00:43,612 --> 01:00:45,946 -Oh, my God. He's coming. -We're so dead. 1034 01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:47,948 Oh, he's so scary and big. 1035 01:00:48,082 --> 01:00:49,450 -We can't stay here. -No. 1036 01:00:53,622 --> 01:00:55,122 -... without shuddering. -Walter... 1037 01:00:55,256 --> 01:00:56,824 I made a great reporter out of you, Hilby. 1038 01:00:56,957 --> 01:00:58,959 You won't be half as good on another paper. You know it. 1039 01:00:59,093 --> 01:01:00,361 We're a team. 1040 01:01:00,494 --> 01:01:02,129 You need me, I need you, the paper needs us! 1041 01:01:02,263 --> 01:01:03,532 Sold, American! 1042 01:01:04,865 --> 01:01:06,333 It just didn't work out, Walter. 1043 01:01:06,467 --> 01:01:08,135 Oh, fuck. 1044 01:01:10,004 --> 01:01:11,805 Maybe we lay low for a little bit. 1045 01:01:11,939 --> 01:01:12,940 Yeah. 1046 01:01:13,073 --> 01:01:14,509 I wasn't satisfied. 1047 01:01:14,643 --> 01:01:16,010 I suppose I proposed to you? 1048 01:01:16,143 --> 01:01:17,278 You practically did. 1049 01:01:17,411 --> 01:01:19,246 Making goo-goo eyes at me for two years. 1050 01:01:19,380 --> 01:01:21,215 "Oh, Walter." And I still... 1051 01:01:21,348 --> 01:01:23,250 I actually kind of like this movie. 1052 01:01:23,384 --> 01:01:25,186 Yeah, you like that? 1053 01:01:25,319 --> 01:01:26,921 -Yeah. -Really? 1054 01:01:29,056 --> 01:01:30,659 Yeah. Are you surprised? 1055 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:34,461 Little bit, yeah. 1056 01:01:39,700 --> 01:01:41,402 I did ditch you. 1057 01:01:43,170 --> 01:01:45,005 N-No. Ditch me? 1058 01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:49,109 It's what I'm best at. 1059 01:01:49,243 --> 01:01:51,445 -Ditching people? -Running. 1060 01:01:51,580 --> 01:01:53,747 Hey, I was holding my own. You didn't see me? 1061 01:01:53,881 --> 01:01:56,585 He was shaking in his little leather boots. 1062 01:02:00,655 --> 01:02:03,090 Jay, I wasn't entirely honest at dinner. 1063 01:02:04,559 --> 01:02:06,493 My parents had this, like... 1064 01:02:08,028 --> 01:02:09,730 storybook romance. 1065 01:02:11,332 --> 01:02:13,067 They were literally perfect together. 1066 01:02:16,538 --> 01:02:18,339 And then my dad died. 1067 01:02:21,676 --> 01:02:23,712 I don't think my mom ever fully recovered. 1068 01:02:27,448 --> 01:02:28,449 I'm sorry. 1069 01:02:31,952 --> 01:02:33,287 You know, when I was a kid, 1070 01:02:34,421 --> 01:02:38,593 my parents just... hated each other. 1071 01:02:38,727 --> 01:02:41,862 I mean, they fought... all the time. 1072 01:02:43,531 --> 01:02:44,798 I think that... 1073 01:02:45,933 --> 01:02:47,434 is why I'm just this... 1074 01:02:49,270 --> 01:02:50,739 hapless romantic. 1075 01:02:52,039 --> 01:02:55,510 Just putting every girl I fall for on a pedestal, 1076 01:02:55,644 --> 01:02:58,580 only to have my heart broken over... 1077 01:02:58,713 --> 01:03:00,314 More. -and over... 1078 01:03:00,447 --> 01:03:01,482 More? 1079 01:03:01,616 --> 01:03:02,651 ...and over. 1080 01:03:04,418 --> 01:03:05,587 Keep going. 1081 01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,788 All because they... 1082 01:03:09,223 --> 01:03:12,326 They just can't... breathe... 1083 01:03:12,459 --> 01:03:14,295 ...my suffocating attempt 1084 01:03:15,630 --> 01:03:18,332 to prove Mom and Dad wrong. 1085 01:03:23,605 --> 01:03:24,673 You know, I think... 1086 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,310 I think tonight should've been, like, 1087 01:03:29,443 --> 01:03:31,045 the worst night of my life. 1088 01:03:35,316 --> 01:03:36,317 But it isn't. 1089 01:03:41,455 --> 01:03:42,456 Ditto. 1090 01:03:45,159 --> 01:03:47,261 -Baby, you're so wet. -Mm-hmm. 1091 01:03:52,933 --> 01:03:55,235 God, you're so hard! 1092 01:03:55,369 --> 01:03:56,571 Ow! 1093 01:04:00,007 --> 01:04:01,308 At least they're having fun. 1094 01:04:01,442 --> 01:04:03,578 Oh, shit! 1095 01:04:03,712 --> 01:04:05,846 It's kinda loud. 1096 01:04:07,981 --> 01:04:09,149 Yeah, it's too loud. 1097 01:04:09,283 --> 01:04:11,218 -Hey! Shh! -Shut the fuck up! Shh! 1098 01:04:11,352 --> 01:04:14,188 -Shut up! Shut the fuck up. -Quiet down! 1099 01:04:14,321 --> 01:04:16,490 -Samm! I'm coming! -Oh, God! 1100 01:04:16,624 --> 01:04:17,659 -Oh, I'm coming! -Guys! 1101 01:04:17,792 --> 01:04:18,827 Shut up! Shut up! 1102 01:04:41,048 --> 01:04:44,385 Holy shit. Someone call 911! 1103 01:04:49,490 --> 01:04:50,491 Fuck! 1104 01:04:57,231 --> 01:04:58,265 Please, no! 1105 01:05:37,971 --> 01:05:39,440 What are you-- Hey, Ally. 1106 01:05:39,574 --> 01:05:40,941 -What are you doing? -Wait. 1107 01:05:41,074 --> 01:05:42,877 Wait for what? He's gonna kill us. 1108 01:05:43,745 --> 01:05:45,312 And if he doesn't kill us, 1109 01:05:46,213 --> 01:05:47,916 he's gonna keep killing people. 1110 01:05:48,048 --> 01:05:49,249 We brought him here, 1111 01:05:50,852 --> 01:05:52,252 we end it here. 1112 01:05:52,386 --> 01:05:54,488 -We-- -Come on. 1113 01:05:54,622 --> 01:05:56,123 I thought we were a team. 1114 01:06:38,298 --> 01:06:40,000 Hey, Fuck Eyes! 1115 01:06:43,505 --> 01:06:44,539 Wait, wait, wait. 1116 01:06:45,472 --> 01:06:46,473 We need a weapon. 1117 01:06:47,609 --> 01:06:48,610 I have this. 1118 01:06:49,476 --> 01:06:51,178 That is not a weapon. 1119 01:06:54,014 --> 01:06:55,048 That could work. 1120 01:07:01,455 --> 01:07:03,858 -I don't think I can do that. -What? Hey... 1121 01:07:03,992 --> 01:07:04,993 Yes, you can. 1122 01:07:06,026 --> 01:07:07,027 Come on. 1123 01:07:24,444 --> 01:07:25,412 Run! 1124 01:07:28,850 --> 01:07:29,984 Ally! 1125 01:08:03,283 --> 01:08:04,451 Oh, shit! 1126 01:08:19,934 --> 01:08:21,435 Thanks a lot, Jay. 1127 01:08:21,869 --> 01:08:22,804 What? 1128 01:08:24,204 --> 01:08:25,640 You got it in my mouth. 1129 01:08:25,773 --> 01:08:27,041 I just saved your life. 1130 01:08:27,174 --> 01:08:28,876 Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna be sick. 1131 01:08:29,010 --> 01:08:30,812 No. Hey. 1132 01:08:30,945 --> 01:08:31,980 Oh, no, no, no. 1133 01:08:40,320 --> 01:08:42,322 I told you I was not good with blood. 1134 01:08:42,456 --> 01:08:43,591 Yeah, no kidding. 1135 01:09:03,911 --> 01:09:05,513 Uh, who the fuck is that? 1136 01:09:06,581 --> 01:09:07,849 I have no idea. 1137 01:09:14,088 --> 01:09:15,623 He's lost a lot of blood here. 1138 01:09:16,991 --> 01:09:18,926 Do you have an ID on the victim? 1139 01:09:19,060 --> 01:09:21,929 You two, you're gonna be famous. 1140 01:09:22,063 --> 01:09:24,632 The couple that stopped Heart Eyes. I... 1141 01:09:27,802 --> 01:09:29,537 It's very cute. 1142 01:09:29,671 --> 01:09:31,005 Thank you. Thank you. 1143 01:09:31,139 --> 01:09:32,272 Thank you. 1144 01:09:33,473 --> 01:09:34,942 I'm gonna leave you alone now. 1145 01:09:42,482 --> 01:09:43,851 Shot in the dark here. 1146 01:09:45,285 --> 01:09:46,521 Wanna come back to my hotel 1147 01:09:46,654 --> 01:09:49,189 and try and crack this campaign before my flight? 1148 01:09:51,358 --> 01:09:53,661 Just actually eat some dinner. 1149 01:09:53,795 --> 01:09:55,596 Order a whole bunch of room service. 1150 01:09:58,566 --> 01:09:59,734 Um... 1151 01:10:01,234 --> 01:10:03,370 Jay, I can't. 1152 01:10:11,378 --> 01:10:12,412 Hey, you two. 1153 01:10:16,050 --> 01:10:19,053 Just wanted to make sure you both got home safe. 1154 01:10:19,187 --> 01:10:20,988 Either of you need a lift? 1155 01:10:21,122 --> 01:10:23,758 Um... actually... 1156 01:10:25,693 --> 01:10:27,595 I don't suppose you have a phone, 1157 01:10:27,729 --> 01:10:28,996 just so I can call a cab? 1158 01:10:29,130 --> 01:10:31,099 No, don't be silly. I'll give you a ride home. 1159 01:10:31,231 --> 01:10:32,834 Least I can do. 1160 01:10:32,967 --> 01:10:34,936 Your chariot awaits. 1161 01:10:35,069 --> 01:10:36,771 Okay. 1162 01:10:41,876 --> 01:10:42,977 Work call later? 1163 01:10:45,412 --> 01:10:46,581 Sounds like a plan. 1164 01:10:50,618 --> 01:10:52,920 Hey, uh, does anyone have a pen? 1165 01:10:53,054 --> 01:10:54,454 -I got you, dude. -Okay. 1166 01:10:56,891 --> 01:10:57,892 Can I see that? 1167 01:11:05,533 --> 01:11:06,934 That's me. 1168 01:11:10,437 --> 01:11:11,873 Your chariot awaits. 1169 01:11:21,516 --> 01:11:22,884 She's not my type. 1170 01:11:41,102 --> 01:11:43,303 Hey, um, I got another call, 1171 01:11:43,436 --> 01:11:45,438 so I'm just gonna have to take that 1172 01:11:45,573 --> 01:11:48,643 -and that too. -Uh... 1173 01:12:00,822 --> 01:12:02,389 Hey, do you need a ride? 1174 01:12:39,193 --> 01:12:40,194 Hey. 1175 01:12:40,328 --> 01:12:41,329 Um, do you have 1176 01:12:41,461 --> 01:12:42,597 something you wanna tell me? 1177 01:12:42,730 --> 01:12:44,031 Oh, you're never gonna believe what happened. 1178 01:12:44,165 --> 01:12:45,666 Hello? Heart Eyes? Are you kidding me? 1179 01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:46,934 But wait, are you okay? 1180 01:12:47,068 --> 01:12:48,336 Tell me the truth. Do you need to come over? 1181 01:12:48,468 --> 01:12:49,770 You can sleep in Arthur's panic room. 1182 01:12:52,006 --> 01:12:53,708 No, I hate this feeling. 1183 01:12:54,642 --> 01:12:55,610 What feeling? 1184 01:12:57,345 --> 01:12:58,512 Liking someone. 1185 01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:01,115 God, I fucked up. 1186 01:13:02,183 --> 01:13:03,251 I fucked up, Mon. 1187 01:13:03,383 --> 01:13:05,519 I met a really, really great guy, 1188 01:13:05,653 --> 01:13:06,721 and now he's gone. 1189 01:13:09,724 --> 01:13:10,725 Where is he? 1190 01:13:11,359 --> 01:13:12,627 At the airport. 1191 01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:14,862 Oh. Okay, great. He's at the airport. Go get him. 1192 01:13:14,996 --> 01:13:16,230 Mon, I-- 1193 01:13:16,364 --> 01:13:19,267 Hey, Ally. Ally, listen to me. 1194 01:13:19,399 --> 01:13:20,835 You deserve to be happy. 1195 01:13:20,968 --> 01:13:23,004 You deserve to have someone love you 1196 01:13:23,137 --> 01:13:27,074 for the beautiful, neurotic mess that you are. 1197 01:13:27,208 --> 01:13:29,210 I mean, you can be so clueless sometimes. 1198 01:13:29,343 --> 01:13:31,712 It's one of the ten things I hate about you, honestly. 1199 01:13:31,846 --> 01:13:34,382 You can't let Jay go off to his best friend's wedding 1200 01:13:34,515 --> 01:13:36,017 and hook up with a bunch of bridesmaids 1201 01:13:36,150 --> 01:13:37,952 and move to Notting Hill. No. 1202 01:13:38,085 --> 01:13:39,954 This is love, mama. 1203 01:13:40,087 --> 01:13:42,590 Some kind of wonderful, 1204 01:13:42,723 --> 01:13:45,960 crazy, stupid love, actually. 1205 01:13:48,229 --> 01:13:50,765 Go get him. Go get that beautiful, melanin man. 1206 01:13:50,898 --> 01:13:52,133 -Okay! -He's gorgeous! 1207 01:13:52,266 --> 01:13:54,101 -Oh, my God. Okay, -Ally, go get him right now! 1208 01:13:54,235 --> 01:13:56,137 -I'm going. -I love you! You're beautiful! 1209 01:13:58,539 --> 01:14:00,775 This is your final call for all passengers 1210 01:14:00,908 --> 01:14:03,311 on flight 403 to Boston. 1211 01:14:05,579 --> 01:14:07,348 Thank you. 1212 01:14:08,616 --> 01:14:09,951 Jay? 1213 01:14:10,084 --> 01:14:11,185 Please have your boarding pass... 1214 01:14:11,319 --> 01:14:12,954 -Jay! -...and identification ready. 1215 01:14:13,087 --> 01:14:14,088 Thank you. 1216 01:14:18,125 --> 01:14:19,093 Jay? 1217 01:14:21,529 --> 01:14:22,830 -Jay! -Fuck! 1218 01:14:22,964 --> 01:14:23,965 Sorry. 1219 01:14:27,268 --> 01:14:28,269 Jay! 1220 01:14:31,372 --> 01:14:32,640 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 1221 01:14:32,773 --> 01:14:34,775 I thought you were somebody else. 1222 01:14:34,909 --> 01:14:35,910 Paging passengers 1223 01:14:36,043 --> 01:14:37,244 Mr. and Mrs. Jones 1224 01:14:37,378 --> 01:14:38,478 flying to Denver... 1225 01:14:38,612 --> 01:14:39,981 -Sorry. -...on flight 273. 1226 01:14:40,114 --> 01:14:42,482 Your flight is boarded and ready for departure. 1227 01:14:42,616 --> 01:14:44,652 Please make your way... 1228 01:14:44,785 --> 01:14:46,420 ...to gate lounge 11 immediately. 1229 01:14:46,554 --> 01:14:47,521 Hello? 1230 01:14:47,655 --> 01:14:48,622 Roses are red, 1231 01:14:48,756 --> 01:14:50,658 violets are black. 1232 01:14:50,791 --> 01:14:52,293 Guess who's with me 1233 01:14:52,426 --> 01:14:54,395 and not coming back? 1234 01:14:54,528 --> 01:14:55,529 Who is this? 1235 01:14:57,098 --> 01:14:58,332 We've met before. 1236 01:14:58,833 --> 01:14:59,967 Forget me not. 1237 01:15:00,101 --> 01:15:01,902 Ally! Ally! No! 1238 01:15:02,036 --> 01:15:03,971 Don't-- Do not-- 1239 01:15:04,105 --> 01:15:05,706 St. Valentine's Chapel. 1240 01:15:06,474 --> 01:15:08,342 Come alone or he dies. 1241 01:15:08,476 --> 01:15:09,910 Okay. 1242 01:15:10,044 --> 01:15:13,147 Call for help, he dies. 1243 01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:14,882 Okay. Just please don't hurt him. 1244 01:15:15,016 --> 01:15:18,252 That's up to you, sweetheart. 1245 01:16:03,197 --> 01:16:05,633 They say love is blind 1246 01:16:06,434 --> 01:16:09,036 and lovers cannot see, 1247 01:16:12,006 --> 01:16:16,243 the pretty follies that they themselves commit. 1248 01:16:18,079 --> 01:16:21,248 But love isn't blind... 1249 01:16:29,490 --> 01:16:30,458 Is it? 1250 01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:32,860 Wait, you're-- 1251 01:16:34,195 --> 01:16:35,196 It's me. 1252 01:16:37,532 --> 01:16:38,533 David. 1253 01:16:43,437 --> 01:16:44,573 The IT guy. 1254 01:16:45,873 --> 01:16:47,942 Wait, who the fuck did we kill then? 1255 01:16:48,510 --> 01:16:50,711 Eli. 1256 01:16:50,845 --> 01:16:53,314 Poor, stupid Eli. 1257 01:16:53,447 --> 01:16:54,949 You guys were a couple? 1258 01:16:55,082 --> 01:16:56,951 Couple? No. No. 1259 01:16:58,819 --> 01:16:59,820 Throuple. 1260 01:17:03,624 --> 01:17:06,327 Love looks with eyes wide open. 1261 01:17:08,129 --> 01:17:10,532 Seeking what the heart desires the most. 1262 01:17:12,466 --> 01:17:13,467 A partner. 1263 01:17:14,935 --> 01:17:16,470 Its true companion. 1264 01:17:21,909 --> 01:17:24,579 I found mine ten years ago in a chat room. 1265 01:17:26,247 --> 01:17:27,582 David saw me. 1266 01:17:27,715 --> 01:17:29,283 He understood me 1267 01:17:29,416 --> 01:17:31,118 and I understood him. 1268 01:17:37,892 --> 01:17:40,629 We got married here. 1269 01:17:40,761 --> 01:17:43,297 You know, I didn't really take you for the religious type. 1270 01:17:44,599 --> 01:17:47,501 No. We just like the story. 1271 01:17:50,671 --> 01:17:52,139 Saint Valentine... 1272 01:17:54,842 --> 01:17:56,076 ...was beheaded. 1273 01:17:59,446 --> 01:18:01,482 You murdered innocent people. 1274 01:18:02,950 --> 01:18:04,653 -Share what you love. -Share what you love. 1275 01:18:04,785 --> 01:18:07,087 Mm. 1276 01:18:07,221 --> 01:18:10,324 And we love hunting, killing... 1277 01:18:11,526 --> 01:18:12,627 Deceit. 1278 01:18:13,494 --> 01:18:15,530 Taking turns on our victims. 1279 01:18:17,164 --> 01:18:18,432 Murdering couples. 1280 01:18:22,036 --> 01:18:23,504 -It's our kink. -It's our kink. 1281 01:18:24,872 --> 01:18:26,473 Everybody's got a fetish. 1282 01:18:31,812 --> 01:18:34,415 Well, too bad we wasted your boyfriend at the drive-in. 1283 01:18:34,549 --> 01:18:35,684 Oh, God. 1284 01:18:35,816 --> 01:18:37,686 He wasn't our boyfriend. 1285 01:18:37,818 --> 01:18:40,754 No, Eli was just a stupid fanboy. 1286 01:18:40,888 --> 01:18:42,423 He was obsessed with us. 1287 01:18:42,557 --> 01:18:43,692 He was obsessed with me. 1288 01:18:43,824 --> 01:18:45,426 Yeah. Learned a lot from me. 1289 01:18:46,460 --> 01:18:47,428 It just got messy. 1290 01:18:47,562 --> 01:18:49,196 Fuck! 1291 01:18:49,330 --> 01:18:50,898 I almost got you at home. 1292 01:18:51,031 --> 01:18:53,734 Go, go, go, go! 1293 01:18:53,867 --> 01:18:55,402 -I killed your driver. -...lovebirds. 1294 01:18:55,537 --> 01:18:57,271 No, no, no, you've got the wrong people! 1295 01:18:57,404 --> 01:18:58,906 Hey, what are you doing? 1296 01:18:59,039 --> 01:19:01,909 And I had a blast wasting those vile dickheads at the winery. 1297 01:19:04,245 --> 01:19:06,213 Ooh, that reminds me. 1298 01:19:07,081 --> 01:19:08,717 -Oh. -Found this. 1299 01:19:08,849 --> 01:19:12,453 God, you're the fucking best. 1300 01:19:12,587 --> 01:19:13,954 Isn't she the fucking best? 1301 01:19:14,088 --> 01:19:15,055 Yeah, I know. 1302 01:19:15,189 --> 01:19:17,324 And as luck would have it, 1303 01:19:17,458 --> 01:19:19,159 your initials match. 1304 01:19:19,293 --> 01:19:22,229 J. Shaw. 1305 01:19:22,363 --> 01:19:25,266 Jeanine Shaw, bitch. 1306 01:19:26,534 --> 01:19:28,802 Why us? We're not even a couple. 1307 01:19:28,936 --> 01:19:31,238 Just let him go! Let him go! 1308 01:19:31,372 --> 01:19:33,307 Truth be told, 1309 01:19:33,440 --> 01:19:35,943 we were gonna kill the other couple at the restaurant. 1310 01:19:37,411 --> 01:19:38,412 But then... 1311 01:19:39,780 --> 01:19:42,283 -we saw that kiss. -Oh, that kiss! God! 1312 01:19:42,416 --> 01:19:46,086 Your chemistry is undeniable. 1313 01:20:00,901 --> 01:20:03,971 Well, I didn't know that murder was a love language. 1314 01:20:04,104 --> 01:20:05,105 Try it. 1315 01:20:05,939 --> 01:20:07,441 Maybe you'll like it. 1316 01:20:12,813 --> 01:20:14,014 Pick it up. 1317 01:20:15,949 --> 01:20:16,950 Pick it up. 1318 01:20:18,118 --> 01:20:20,120 There's a single bullet in that chamber 1319 01:20:20,254 --> 01:20:22,657 with one single choice, him or you. 1320 01:20:32,132 --> 01:20:33,702 We may have mistaken you for lovers 1321 01:20:33,834 --> 01:20:37,204 at the beginning of the night, but can you prove us right? 1322 01:20:37,338 --> 01:20:39,139 Could you save his life with yours, 1323 01:20:39,273 --> 01:20:42,544 thus proving that love really does conquer all? 1324 01:20:44,445 --> 01:20:46,947 If you don't love him, kill him. 1325 01:20:48,315 --> 01:20:49,651 And you're free to go. 1326 01:20:53,454 --> 01:20:54,455 Wow. 1327 01:20:57,157 --> 01:20:59,828 You know, your dedication is impressive. 1328 01:21:02,630 --> 01:21:03,997 It's twisted as fuck, but-- 1329 01:21:09,503 --> 01:21:10,672 Jay. 1330 01:21:13,742 --> 01:21:16,944 I've spent so long running from love. 1331 01:21:19,547 --> 01:21:21,448 Convinced it would destroy me. 1332 01:21:29,223 --> 01:21:30,958 I don't wanna be that person anymore. 1333 01:21:35,896 --> 01:21:37,699 I want the storybook thing. 1334 01:21:44,806 --> 01:21:47,341 It was just one single night... 1335 01:21:51,478 --> 01:21:53,247 but I fell hard for you, Jay. 1336 01:22:02,657 --> 01:22:03,957 No, no, no. 1337 01:22:04,091 --> 01:22:05,794 No, no, no. Don't do that. 1338 01:22:05,926 --> 01:22:07,729 No! No, hey. 1339 01:22:07,862 --> 01:22:09,430 Hey. Hey, no. 1340 01:22:09,564 --> 01:22:11,833 -No, no! Ally! -Forgive me. 1341 01:22:19,940 --> 01:22:21,975 Huh? 1342 01:22:23,310 --> 01:22:25,279 Baby, no! 1343 01:22:25,412 --> 01:22:27,014 -Come on. -Oh, you shot me. 1344 01:22:27,147 --> 01:22:29,016 Sorry, I overcorrected. 1345 01:22:29,149 --> 01:22:31,285 That's a lucky fucking shot. 1346 01:22:38,392 --> 01:22:39,460 Ally? 1347 01:22:39,594 --> 01:22:40,929 Did you mean what you said? 1348 01:22:41,796 --> 01:22:43,598 Come on. 1349 01:22:43,731 --> 01:22:44,998 Pookie. 1350 01:22:45,867 --> 01:22:47,267 Chop that pretty boy up. 1351 01:22:47,401 --> 01:22:48,903 I'm gonna have fun with this one. 1352 01:22:49,036 --> 01:22:51,138 -No. No. -Oh, yes, Mommy. 1353 01:22:51,271 --> 01:22:52,674 No! No! 1354 01:22:52,807 --> 01:22:54,274 Don't you fucking touch him! No! 1355 01:22:54,408 --> 01:22:56,511 No! 1356 01:22:57,211 --> 01:22:58,145 No! 1357 01:23:02,282 --> 01:23:04,017 You shouldn't have shot me, bitch. 1358 01:23:13,661 --> 01:23:14,729 Hey, hey, come on. 1359 01:23:15,864 --> 01:23:17,030 Look at her go. 1360 01:23:20,802 --> 01:23:22,737 Oh, you don't wanna miss this, do you? 1361 01:23:23,605 --> 01:23:25,072 Isn't she perfect? 1362 01:23:25,205 --> 01:23:26,373 You talk too much. 1363 01:23:43,490 --> 01:23:44,993 I'm gonna fucking kill you both. 1364 01:23:59,941 --> 01:24:01,141 You watching, Jay? 1365 01:24:02,510 --> 01:24:04,244 I want you to see her die. 1366 01:24:09,817 --> 01:24:11,886 Love hurts, bitch. 1367 01:25:35,168 --> 01:25:36,704 Your day fucking sucks. 1368 01:25:41,341 --> 01:25:42,342 Jay. 1369 01:25:43,210 --> 01:25:44,311 Jay. Hey. 1370 01:25:45,079 --> 01:25:46,080 Hey. 1371 01:25:46,914 --> 01:25:48,148 Hi, you. 1372 01:25:48,281 --> 01:25:49,483 Hey. 1373 01:25:54,388 --> 01:25:56,691 I think you got over your fear of blood. 1374 01:25:58,225 --> 01:26:00,260 I'm gonna kill you. 1375 01:26:00,394 --> 01:26:02,462 I'll fucking kill you. 1376 01:26:02,597 --> 01:26:04,264 I'm gonna fucking kill you. 1377 01:26:17,779 --> 01:26:18,846 Planet saved. 1378 01:26:21,015 --> 01:26:22,684 Planet saved. 1379 01:26:48,142 --> 01:26:50,912 Now, if you told me that, a year ago, 1380 01:26:51,045 --> 01:26:54,882 I'd be drinking to the highest recorded sales 1381 01:26:55,016 --> 01:26:56,984 in Crystal Cane history, I'd say, 1382 01:26:57,118 --> 01:26:59,721 "Y'all just a lying sack of hot trash." 1383 01:26:59,854 --> 01:27:02,557 But... here we are. 1384 01:27:02,690 --> 01:27:03,925 Whoo! 1385 01:27:04,058 --> 01:27:07,461 And it's all thanks to these two marketing mavens. 1386 01:27:11,065 --> 01:27:13,101 Right here. These two. 1387 01:27:14,168 --> 01:27:16,037 Now, Ally. I am, 1388 01:27:16,170 --> 01:27:17,772 believe it or not, mildly devastated 1389 01:27:17,905 --> 01:27:19,941 that this is your last day. 1390 01:27:20,074 --> 01:27:22,877 But I am proud of you for going, pursuing your dreams, 1391 01:27:23,010 --> 01:27:24,645 going back to doctor school. 1392 01:27:24,779 --> 01:27:27,115 All told, I hope that you're better with a needle 1393 01:27:27,247 --> 01:27:28,750 than you are with a pitch deck! 1394 01:27:31,586 --> 01:27:32,820 To success! 1395 01:27:32,954 --> 01:27:34,722 -To success! -To success. 1396 01:27:34,856 --> 01:27:35,823 Wait. 1397 01:27:37,457 --> 01:27:38,458 To love. 1398 01:27:45,566 --> 01:27:46,567 Hey, baby. 1399 01:27:47,135 --> 01:27:48,401 Hi. 1400 01:27:48,536 --> 01:27:50,104 What did I miss? 1401 01:27:50,238 --> 01:27:52,272 Hey, do you think it's weird having a date here 1402 01:27:52,405 --> 01:27:54,075 after everything that happened? 1403 01:27:54,208 --> 01:27:56,244 Nope. Not to me. 1404 01:27:56,376 --> 01:27:59,080 This is where I realized I was in love with you. 1405 01:27:59,213 --> 01:28:01,481 So, feels symbolic. 1406 01:28:01,616 --> 01:28:03,651 Okay. Symbolic? 1407 01:28:03,785 --> 01:28:05,052 You think it's symb-- 1408 01:28:06,254 --> 01:28:08,890 Listen, don't freak out. Don't freak out. 1409 01:28:09,023 --> 01:28:11,391 I know stuff like this can freak you out, but... 1410 01:28:14,228 --> 01:28:16,296 Ally, this has been the best year of my life. 1411 01:28:18,599 --> 01:28:19,600 So... 1412 01:28:21,602 --> 01:28:23,104 will you move in with me? 1413 01:28:32,412 --> 01:28:33,380 Jay, I-- 1414 01:28:35,516 --> 01:28:36,717 I don't know what to say. 1415 01:28:38,085 --> 01:28:40,788 Yeah, no. I know where that's going. 1416 01:28:40,922 --> 01:28:42,156 -It's okay. -No, I-- 1417 01:28:42,290 --> 01:28:43,891 I don't want a key. 1418 01:28:46,127 --> 01:28:47,128 I don't want a key. 1419 01:28:51,566 --> 01:28:52,533 I want you. 1420 01:29:06,446 --> 01:29:07,682 Jay Simmonds... 1421 01:29:10,518 --> 01:29:11,652 will you marry me? 1422 01:29:23,064 --> 01:29:24,065 Yes. 1423 01:29:25,032 --> 01:29:26,567 -Yes? -Yes. Yes. 1424 01:29:26,701 --> 01:29:30,171 A million fucking times, yes. 1425 01:31:23,718 --> 01:31:24,819 Hello? 1426 01:31:24,952 --> 01:31:26,053 Roses are red, 1427 01:31:26,187 --> 01:31:28,956 violets are blue. 1428 01:31:29,090 --> 01:31:32,126 Guess who just took a picture of you? 1429 01:31:32,827 --> 01:31:33,828 Who is this? 1430 01:31:35,129 --> 01:31:36,230 Relax, bitch. 1431 01:31:36,364 --> 01:31:37,331 Too soon? 1432 01:31:37,465 --> 01:31:39,300 Monica, that's not funny! 1433 01:31:39,433 --> 01:31:40,901 Where even are you? 1434 01:31:41,802 --> 01:31:42,870 Did you get it? 1435 01:31:43,004 --> 01:31:44,405 Of course I got it. Are you kidding me? 1436 01:31:44,538 --> 01:31:46,907 You look super cute. I mean, I would have gotten a manicure, 1437 01:31:47,041 --> 01:31:48,542 but I told you that, and you're fine with that. 1438 01:31:48,676 --> 01:31:50,678 You're a natural gal. You look great. 1439 01:31:50,811 --> 01:31:54,415 Okay, enjoy the movie, fiancés. Love you. 1440 01:31:56,283 --> 01:31:58,119 Ally? Hello?99904