Original subtitles

Now you are going to see a merry-go-round farce, -

- in which the actors will frolic like fish in water.

Paul Hagen as car dealer Willy Foethmann. An overgeared gentleman, -

- who loves high tension. In short, an electric eel.

Birgitte Reimer as his wife Mona.

Faithful wife. Always sitting at home and waiting.

A typical sea anemone.

Axel Stroebye as Hother Holck. Director of the fashion salon Venus.

Loves to lie on the beach and watch beautiful bathing girls.

Besides that hard in the cover. A real sea turtle.

Christian Arhoff as Max. Perhaps not particularly gifted.

Jack of all trades and cod.

Ghita Noerby as Ellinor Haldorff. Coquettish and smart.

Wants to be admired and feted. Loves to bash a little with the fins.

A really small goldfish. Married to...

... Hans Haldorff alias Kjeld Petersen. Master and marine biologist.

Known for his treatises on eel migrations.

Over 2000 years ago -

- the ancient Greeks began to ponder the creation of the eel.

Since roe had never been found in the the she eel, -

- it was concluded that they did not reproduce like other fish.

They started with a theory that it was worms that had fallen into the water, -

- and right up until today it has been believed that the eel was the mother of the eel itself.

Why the kvab, which even today in German, is called aalemutter.

- There is a telephone for the master. - Thanks. Excuse me for a moment.

- Hello? - It is me. Where are you?

You promised to come home early so we'd go shopping together.

Sorry, my own. A group of students suddenly appeared, -

- and you know how proud I am of our new aquariums, -

- so I would prefer to show them off myself.

You should also try to be a little proud of your wife -

- and show her off a little.

Yes, my own. What were we going out to buy?

Summer clothes for me before we go to the country.

Buy it inside Hother. He knows a lot more about it than I do.

At Hother's? My ex-fiancé?

He must know what suits you.

Then I'll come home and see what you've found.

All right. As you want.

Hello?

She's gone. She must have been happy.

Now where did I come from? Well, it was the wanderings of the eel.

Now it's an original model, so I don't see it anywhere else?

I have built my whole business on that, dear madam.

They make the dress the dream the French creator imagined.

They have no idea how beautifully it also sits in the back.

- We will wait a few days with that one. - It has to go out in the window.

- No, it has to go back in. - Then we'll never sell it.

- We have a ton of them left. - So decorate that window.

- With what? - Neckwear, jewellery, gloves.

- I have suggested this hat to the lady. - It also goes perfectly with the dress.

Surprised. It's been a long time, huh? Nice to see you. What do I owe the honour?

Hans said I should go in here and find some summer clothes.

You know what suits me best, he said.

It was really nice of him. Shall we go in and take your measurements?

- Don't you have them in your head? - Yes, waist 52, bust 83.

Two parts gin, one part vermouth. Shall we go in and have a drink?

- How long have you been married? - Three years.

And you are still happy?

- We are still married. Cheers. - Cheers.

Did Hans really say you should go in with me?

Are you sure that deep down he doesn't mind?

Hans doesn't mind anything.

Elinor? If you and I had gotten married...

- But we didn't! - It was the stupid shenanigans in Paris.

You flirted with... I won't say what she was.

Just because I did a little dance with the little wiggle tail.

She was not, she was a body pigeon.

For such a piece of poultry you ruined my life and yours with it.

If only it had been that one time.

But she was just the straw that made the cup overflow. Cheers.

Cheers.

Why did you marry Hans?

- I met him in Monte Carlo. - Is he playing?

No, he studied the fishes of the Mediterranean.

Well, Denmark's champion in eel migrations.

- Poor little Ellinor. - You must not pity me at all.

I shouldn't speak badly of Hans.

He is so good to me. Too good.

- We have not quarreled once. - What a hell.

Yes, I've also tried to make him mad in his head, but I can't.

Every time I complain, he says: "Yes, I think so too, my own."

I would have worshiped him if only he had just cursed a little.

- Or just come home drunk. - Didn't you know that in advance?

After all, a woman wants a flawless man, -

- until she has tried being married to someone.

You must then be able to look up to your husband, -

- but not so high that you have to walk with your neck bent from morning to night.

I caught this eel in the Mediterranean three years ago, -

- and that experience alone was worth the whole trip.

It is a female eal, which you can tell because of the size.

A European eel over four or five pounds will always be a female eel.

If it hadn't been so big, I wouldn't have been able to ascertain, -

- whether it was a lady or a gentleman, which you can usually do with everyone -

- larger, living creatures.

The eel's slim line gives it the speed that means it rarely becomes prey.

Where do you plan to walk in that costume?

Hans has agreed to a week's holiday up with Willy and Mona in Raageleje.

There he will probably run around among seaweed and shells and catch glass eal.

Speaking of glasses... see you later.

I have to deliver costumes for the show Marienlyst is putting on.

Naturally, the body pigeons must also be dressed by Hother Holck.

Now I'd better get going, otherwise Hans'll get home first.

After all, he just says, "it was good you came, my own," no matter what.

Maybe, but now I want to change my clothes again, my own.

What on earth do you use something like that for?

For fishing with. How do I get it repaired now?

If you have any twine, I will do it for you.

Thank you, just a moment.

- Good day, my own. - What can I do for that gentleman?

Get me a piece of twine. My racket is broken.

Don't you have anything else on your mind?

The rod broke, and then there was a gentleman who promised to fix it.

- We don't have any twine. - Of course not, my own.

We have no twine, my own. I mean... Just leave it alone.

- Have you seen my new beachwear? - I look forward to seeing that.

- I have it on! - Nice beach bag. Is it from Hother?

Yes, and so are they here! And he said they suited me.

It was nice of him, my own.

Hother comes to Raageleje while we are there.

Then you can personally thank him.

- I'm looking forward to it. - You're a dead boring eel frog.

The eel is a very lively and fast fish.

Stop it! Let's see to get up to Mona and Willy.

He knows how to treat women.

Hurry up now. They can be here anytime.

There is also a lot to do inside.

So can't you take the rest of the plane?

I don't want to look hot and unkept when the guests come.

And the lawn is used to you mowing it, isn't it?

Of course you are right. Now I have to hurry a little.

Jump right in and ask Marianne to come out with a water for me.

- Don't you want a pillow too? - No thanks, I'm reading stock notes.

I call that top listing.

With increasing trend. (squeals)

The islanders are also fixed.

Now what is the matter with Fyn's discount box?

Minus six. Great trend.

Well, are these the kind of listings you're interested in?

Are you happy that you are married to a super man.

- And see to it that the grass is cut. - Of course, little mouse.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

(laughs smugly)

Permanent successor.

- The catcher. - You can buy dirty fish up there.

The eels up there enter Esrum lake. I will try to mark some of them.

- Then it's all right, Mr. - Thank you.

- Is it actually repaired? - I got sail twine from the Koebman.

Look how nicely that gentleman has repaired the racquet. Thank you.

- Are you driving? - What else was I supposed to do?

- Here you go. - Thanks.

- I hope you can can accommodate yourself. - How adorable it is here.

- What a gorgeous bed. - I guarantee that it is good.

Willy and I call it the honeymoonbed, if you understand.

- You didn't understand that, did you? - I do not understand what you mean.

Right or left side?

- I would rather sleep in a tent. - a tent?

- The small one I use for night fishing. - Have you brought it?

Yes, I will smoke the drunk every hour to see -

- at what time of the night, the eels search for land.

- So I'd rather sleep by the water. - You must be allowed to do that.

In general, you must be allowed to sail your own boat.

- Here, you can fix your racket. - Thank you.

- The tent. - You also think about everything.

I'll be back in a moment.

What a lovely weather, isn't it, little mouse?

Not a drop of rain the whole week they've been here.

- We have been super lucky. - How boring, you have to go home.

Hans is to open a congress for marine biologists.

Yes, the work must be taken care of. I'm going to a board meeting tonight.

Are you going to the city? Is it necessary?

After all, summer is the automotive industry's best time, -

- and the director cannot fail when everyone else shows up.

- One more? - No thanks.

You are so strangely silent. Are you ill?

- Have you had too much sun? - No, too much sleep.

- Phone to Mrs. Haldorff. - Thanks.

What's wrong with her? Why is she so mad?

Hans' way of being has begun to annoy her.

Do you really believe?

Not all husbands are equally gallant.

Jump right up to the bedroom and get my lighter.

You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice. Where are you?

On Marienlyst. I have handed in the costumes. There is a premiere tonight.

- How are things with you and Hans? - A nightmare from day one.

I've been sleeping in arms with my pulp novels.

On top of a honeymoon bed.

And Hans has been lying in a tent with his fishing gear.

After all, it offers bright prospects for a petulant suitor. You're not exaggerating?

No, on the contrary. You wouldn't believe your eyes.

He sleeps in a small, stupid tent, wrapped in the strangest sleeping bags.

The first thing he thought of when he woke up was the stupid Eels.

And when he finally condescended to think of me, -

- then he came up and woke me up at an unchristian early hour.

Good morning, my own. Look what I caught. See.

(screaming)

It was horrible.

I get cold when I think about that morning.

When I finally got him to go down to the beach with me, he was asleep.

Hans? Hans?

- What is there, my own? - I'm being bothered.

Are you bothered? Don't be, I'm sleeping.

I get bothered by him watching.

- What is he looking at? - On me while I change.

Now show yourself like a man, and go and get him away.

Why are you looking at my wife?

Because she is ravishing and I would like to go on a moonlight walk with her.

Well, nothing else. Then you must apologize profusely.

He's good enough. He just wanted to go moonlighting with you.

That evening we went for a walk on the pier and I hoped we would have a good time...

You have no idea how adorable I think it is to sit like this with you.

I also think it's great to be sitting here with you.

- Then we would have to do it ten times. - But the bench is always occupied.

When you love each other, it's nice to sit like that.

- Completely quiet. Without saying anything. - Yes.

- Then you get such sweet thoughts. - Yes, my own.

- Hans...? - Yes?

What are you thinking about right now?

I am thinking that I must go down and look at my eels.

What is it?

Do you think I exaggerated when I called it a nightmare?

No, my own... my darling.

Lighten up. Now I'll come and take you to the premiere.

Then we'll probably get a nice evening out of it.

I look forward to telling Hans that.

Hans?

Look, at sunset the fish come all the way to the shore.

Before, you couldn't catch a horse shrimp.

Hother has invited me out tonight and will pick me up in a quarter of an hour.

- That was nice of him. - Maybe it will be very late.

I get sleepy so quickly anyway.

Then you sit up in the living room and listen to music, -

- and at half past eleven, you go down to the tent and sleep.

And nothing will disturb or excite you, right?

- And you don't want to be nervous at all? - not when you're with Hother.

I can't take it anymore! Hans, I want a divorce.

- What do you say?! - Finally a sign of life.

- What's wrong? - nothing and everything.

Ellinor, you are not well.

Yes, I'm fine, and we're all unconsciously fine.

- That was good, my own. - Aah!

- What have I done? - nothing.

We just never should have gotten married.

I don't know what to say, -

- other than that of course you don't have to be my wife if you don't want to.

We must not do anything hastily. Remember, I love you.

Not as loud as you love the damn racket!

- Where are you going at that speed? - I'm going out with Hother.

- Is Hans going? - He doesn't have time for that.

He needs to repair his racket.

Is it now cracked again? Won't you help him, little mouse?

Yes, I'd rather. Apparently it's not just the shaft that's broken.

Do you also think the net is broken?

What is wrong with the master's? You look like a bad weather report.

Why don't you buy a new rod instead of keep repairing it?

That's not what I'm sorry about, Willy. It is something more serious.

You were the first person I wrote to when I got engaged to Ellinor.

You were the first person I bragged to when I had put Mona down.

Then you will also be the first to know that it is all over.

- Over? You mean you are getting a divorce? - Yes, she asked for it a little while ago.

Why? What happened?

She doesn't love me anymore. I guess she never did.

She must have done that, old man. She could have had anyone.

- I do not understand it. - I understand it.

Can you understand that? I do not understand.

I won't say I expected it, -

- but had I thought about it, I probably could have foreseen it.

How?

In the time I have known you both, it has gradually dawned on me.

- You are too good for her. - Nonsense, I'm not nearly good enough.

Yes, you are too good.

You are so good that you have become boring.

You have made everything in your marriage a regular habit.

Ellinor always knows where to find you.

So now she doesn't care at all about finding you.

You really have to pick yourself up!

- Pick me up? - Ellinor is far too sure of you.

Shouldn't a wife now be able to be sure of her husband?

No you...

It is the only thing in life a woman must never be.

Did Ellinor ever lie and worry whether you came home?

- No, never. - No why?

Because you're always lying next to me snoring, -

- or you also lie by the seashore and dream of all the good things from the sea.

I have endeavored to be an exemplary husband.

After all, that is also what is wrong.

No woman cares about that.

If a woman is happy and satisfied, she does not realize that she is married.

Tell me, have you ever deceived Ellinor?

No I have not. Yes, once.

It was hell. Where, when, how?

That ring I gave her last year? The one with the diamond and the sapphire.

I told her that it had cost 1,000 crowns.

- It had cost 3000. - So what?

Then I have deceived her with the price.

You power idiot. I mean with another woman.

With another woman. Well, you mean... No.

- Are you cheating on your wife? - Let's not go into details.

- You seem so happy. - So are we.

We absolutely love each other because I hold her to the fire.

You have to make sure that your wife becomes suspicious of what you are doing.

You have to keep her to the stove.

How do you do that?

If anyone goes out at night, it's me.

I will not let my wife go out with another man and be left alone.

My wife stays at home with us, -

- while I go to the board meeting and organize the operation.

Do you organize the operation? Mona can't have anything against that.

Do you never wake up? The board meeting is just a pretext.

Yes, so you can do everything you haven't been able to do all week.

Others call it the lodge or a weekly Turkish bath.

- What does it help against? - You are hopeless. I give you up.

No you must not. I cannot do without Ellinor.

I just don't understand keeping your wife to the stove.

You say you go to the board meeting, but you don't.

Why does it have an effect?

- Because I'm not at home. - Well, you're not at home!

So your wife is aware that you don't go to board meetings?

Exactly. With the life I lead, it is unthinkable, -

- that she shouldn't speculate a bit. It is healthy for a marriage, -

- that the wife suspects that her husband is a Turk.

- A Turk? - Yes, who keeps a harem.

Harem? No thanks. Then you had to have twenty ladies lying in the living rooms.

I don't think I could handle that. I wouldn't be able to remember the names.

People like your wife and I... We can only love one person.

And Ellinor is the only one in the world for me.

Then you really have to take action to keep her.

Went out in the evening and come home singing at four in the morning.

Let her sigh for you and be ready to die for you.

I don't think I can get her to do that.

This is the kind of man women fall for. Ellinor is also falling for one like that.

I can understand that... What are you saying?

- Haven't you noticed that? - To what?

Why do you think she's going out with Hother?

Should she be in love with him...? They were once engaged!

It's probably just a harmless flirt, but he's that type.

And I told him she should buy clothes from him.

She's going out with him tonight!

There you see. She is the one who keeps you to the stove.

Well, I'm going to a board meeting.

- Bow tie. - Yes, little mouse.

But first you must give me a kiss.

Now you won't be coming home too late, will you?

I'm afraid of that. We must have elected a new member.

You work too hard at those meetings. You are so tired the next day.

It is also a long agenda.

Couldn't you let your office manager represent you?

At such meetings I would like to be present myself.

I long for you when you are away. I always wake up when you come home.

- And says: "Is it you, little mouse?" - And you: "Is it you, little miss?"

- I love you. - I love you.

By the way... Did Ellinor tell you anything?

- About what? - nothing.

- Say it now. - not a word on my lips.

If you don't tell me...

Then I won't wake up when you come home tonight.

- Do you promise not to say a word? - Swear.

I think they are breaking up.

- No... Should they divorce? - It looks like it.

- My pocket towel. - How terrible. Poor Ellinor.

- Do you know what Hans has done? - He hasn't done anything.

- He must have done something. - No, on the contrary.

- Tell me, does he drink? - Yes, Children's milk.

If he doesn't drink, it must be much worse.

- Something with a lady. - Hans? And a lady?

It's a very long story and I don't have time to tell it to you.

If it's something very bad, I don't want to hear it either.

I mean, not right now.

You're telling me tonight, aren't you?

I must tell you all that has happened.

With Hans, that is.

There is a telephone for the director. It's something about a board meeting.

- Shouldn't I take it? - No. And give me my driver's license.

Remember, not a word to Hans or Ellinor.

- Swear. - Wonder if there is mush left of that island? (Amager)

One shouldn't have believed that.

- What? - The thing with you and Ellinor.

Nah, you shouldn't.

Not to interfere, but it hurts me so much.

Two people have been so happy, and so...

You mean, maybe next time it will be your turn?

How can you say that? That sort of thing would never happen between Willy and me.

- Who is she, the other one? - The other?

When a marriage breaks up, a woman is always to blame.

One of these creatures with bleached hair and bad reputation, -

- who has not been able to get a husband herself and is trying to grab one.

- Hold on to the one who is faithful. - There is nothing I would rather.

Then I'll make Ellinor forgive you.

There is nothing to forgive. I've just been so good, I've become boring.

- I should have picked myself up. - Got you up?

I am not a Turk. Do you think I want to keep a harem?

Ellinor never lay awake and worried for me, -

- because I always lie next to her and snore.

How will it get better when I never go to a Turkish bath?

Or go to board meetings.

- Board meetings? - Yes, just like your husband.

- How dare you? - He has told himself, you know.

You are a very brave woman.

What has he said I knew?

That he does not go to board meetings for real. If I were to be like Willy, -

- then it was me who was out in the evening, and Ellinor who sat at home.

I shouldn't have said that. Willy said you knew it.

Sorry, but you know how it is with board members.

What's up my dear?

- Hey, Hother. - Willy.

- Hans, it's been a long time. - I thought I heard you.

- How gorgeous you look. - It's your own fault, my friend.

Hother made the dress for me.

- Now I have to tell you... - Hans has a bit of a headache.

- Have you taken anything for it? - I think I'll take a Turkish bath.

- I have to go into town. - To the board meeting.

Look how well I've raised her. I have to be in town at nine o'clock.

Yes, it would be a shame if you missed the initial negotiations.

- I guess we also have to see how to get going. - When will you come back?

It will probably be late. I'll stop waking you up in the tent.

Well then, I guess I'd better...

Bye, bye.

Oh, bye.

May I get the truth about the Turkish baths and the board meetings.

- You got it then. - No, and now I want to know it.

Has Willy told you about another woman?

No, it's not just women in general.

He thinks it's his duty.

To stick you to the stove. Now don't take it so hard.

What if your husband was going out with another lady?

- My husband? - Your wife, of course.

- She is that. - It's not the same.

Willy is at the meeting with some small moped.

Ellinor wants a divorce because she loves Hother.

- Why don't you do anything? - But what?

- I should probably come up with something. - Will you please think then?

Yes. I let Willy do everything because I believed in and loved him.

I've been such a naive little goose, but now it's over!

Now I want to do something desperate. I will...

- I want to do that too. - not that one! It's too expensive.

- Here you go. - Yes...

- There. - What shall we come up with then?

Now I know. I will follow Willy's advice.

I want to lead a wild life.

I want to take the big trip and come home singing at night.

I want to take a Turkish bath. No, two.

- Shouldn't we do it together? - I can only bathe alone.

- I can't take the big trip. - Nor do I.

I don't like to be out for a long time, I like to be at home for a long time.

Shouldn't we then spend our evenings together and make them jealous?

Let's start our own board. When they get home tonight, -

- should they find us in a compromising situation.

- It won't work! - Don't you want to be discovered with me?

It would be very nice, -

- but what shall we do?

Well, now I've started. Now it's your turn.

- My turn... - Compromise me then.

Isn't it better indoors?

You can also keep the fire in the stove better there.

How the hell are you driving, man?

I thought we were going to Marienlyst?

We're just going to take a trip in my new motorboat and have a drink on board.

- The show doesn't start until ten o'clock. - Then you've lied to me.

Only in a good way. We'll have a good time.

- Can you even maneuver a boat? - There are crew on board.

- How many are there? - One. But he an all-time skipper.

There I sat, dumbfounded, alone in the small bath. The lake showed her teeth.

I struggled with the oars in the turbulent sea, but I wanted to reach land.

- He must have tried something. - Luck must have been with him.

It wasn't luck. I wanted in.

The storm whipped the agitated water. The water flowed into the boat, -

- and I scooped it up with one hand.

- Suddenly it gave a jolt to the dinghy. - Did you fish on a sandbar?

- A cliffhanger? - Even worse.

Fortunately, they had caught sight of me on land and came out and rescued me.

- I was stranded on... - On a coral reef.

- No, on a swan's nest. - Where the hell was it?

- l in the black lake. - Aah, shut up.

The ship owner...

All men on board. Put the champagne on ice, and the cold water in the dark.

Loosen the reins. We set course for the bell bay.

- We grab the usual ladies' trip. - Ladies trip?

When we have women with us, we are in low water, -

- although we men would like to go on wild adventures.

Where the storm whistles and the water roars.

I once sat alone in a small boat, and the sea showed its teeth...

Shut up, Max. In the evening we take a pleasure trip.

There are enough people who are bored.

- Where do you think they are? - It will probably last a long time.

When they show up, we have to start the compromise.

- What is it? - One of my legs is asleep.

The lucky leg.

If only I knew where Willy was.

Yes, now you're guessing. His system is correct enough.

When I think of Ellinor with Hother...

And Willy is perhaps in a Turkish bath with harem ladies with vails and nothing else.

Quick, they're coming! Hurry up and compromise me.

Arms around me. Yes like that.

No. It wasn't them.

Don't you want to get off? I'm so wrinkled.

Wish I could compromise you in the day instead.

I'd also rather sleep with the hens.

Who was the hen... cock. Shouldn't we put an egg on the gramophone?

Shall we not take "A lovely little feather?"

Speaking of feathers, shall we have a little drink?

Ellinor always tells me to have a drink when I get sleepy.

Willy also says it helps.

People who need to be compromised also drink a lot.

We just take a small, tiny sip and drink it slowly.

- I'm making a red wine stoddy. - No, it's against the common cold.

Willy has three bottles of champagne. Shouldn't I pick them up?

- Isn't it very intoxicating? - not even when you're not used to it.

- Here they are. - Now I have to take them.

Three bottles of champagne. Isn't that a bit much?

We might as well drink all three. It's not for fun.

Shouldn't we start with something stronger?

- How about a drink? - I'm not used to that.

- Do you know how to make one? - We help each other.

- There must be ice in the shaker. - It's over there.

- What drink should we make? - We mix a whole lot together.

We can start with whiskey.

Willy says that's what you build on.

Yes, a foundation. I once had whiskey for hiccups, -

- and it was much worse than the hiccups.

Willy says it can make the living room go round.

You think too much of Willy.

Can't help it. It's all those bottles.

Italian or French vermouth?

A bit of both of them. It's probably the safest.

Then we have the foundation, the living room and the first floor.

- Let's see. Gin. - Yes, that's what you need.

It doesn't smell of anything. We take plenty of that.

It looks like water. It was the second floor.

It smells like licorice. Absinthe. 68 percent.

Oops, I'm spilling,

It was...

We take one more swipe, then we have the twig with us.

It's a sunberries. I love sunberries..

Blackberry jam is also the best I know.

Then the house is finished. Then it has to be painted.

Here is a good color. Port. Nun blood. It is good for painting.

- Shall we have the chimney? - No, it shouldn't be strong.

Do you shake it?

It should not be mixed. It must be shaken.

- We don't have any small glasses. - Take those glasses.

I am insanely excited about what has become of it.

What a beautiful color.

It's almost a shame to drink it.

Like that, yes.

It looks strong. Shouldn't we dilute it with some gin?

It stands here. I've seen people do that.

- As long as we haven't forgotten anything. - nothing important.

We take it as it is.

Shouldn't it taste better?

It's because we haven't been drinking all of it.

Water! It burns!

It helped. More.

Yes. Yes.

It's mild and good.

It tingles in the nose.

Do you want a little dot for the tip?

It helps, huh?

I was a bit depressed before, but now I feel very uplifted.

I feel rather indifferent.

Where is Ellinor? What do I care?

What does Ellinor do with Hother? What the hell do I care?

They must be large enough to stand on their own.

I think they are very small.

- They are no bigger than that. - Is it them?

"Horoscopes of the Month." Do you buy such a magazine?

It's my jack of all trades man. He loves astrology.

And you borrow it?

I have made many good deals by listening to the stars.

"On Tuesday you will meet a stranger, -

- and you will get great pleasure from the acquaintance."

That was also one day in my horoscope, -

- and that day I took the machine to Paris and met a stranger, a Frenchman.

There are a few of them on that route.

He ordered a cognac and poured it straight into my lap.

He apologized and presented himself, -

- and later he invited me down to his country house near Lyon.

Where you met his adorable daughter or wife -

- and was very happy with the acquaintance.

Yes, and a lot of good business. Horoscopes can tell the truth.

- Are you a ram or a bull? - I really do not know.

Your birthday is the first of November. You are a Scorpio.

The name does not have to have anything to do with the person. You are a virgin.

to the highest degree.

"The first days of the week look a little grey, -

- but from Friday there should be reason for satisfaction."

- Today is Saturday. - "Fun opportunities present themselves."

The horoscope speaks the truth.

"But you must be on guard against certain persons, -

- who will try to influence you with flattery, which at first seems beguiling, -

- but as deep down your nature is distant.

Don't let yourselves fall into rapture. Not even in the romantic area."

You only have to listen to the first half. The one with the amusing possibilities.

Yes, listen once. Can you hear anything?

It's been a long time since I heard the engine.

Yes, damn it!

Are you listening?

No, but I couldn't avoid hearing that you had an interesting conversation about, -

- what the stars tell, so I didn't want to go in.

- Why does the engine say nothing? - I have asked, but it does not answer.

Come out and check it out yourself.

- Excuse me for a moment. - Excuse me for a moment.

How are the teethers doing?

I've been staring at them, but it doesn't help.

- What about the carburetor? - It sits where it should.

- When did you last give that oil? - I had no idea, it was bad.

It must not be touched any further until a specialist is present.

You also get so dirty.

How can we know if we suddenly run aground?

You can hear that. Then it hits the bottom. I remember once...

We have to wait for a boat that can take us by tow. Throw out the anchor.

Are you really smart? You have trained me, you have been sailing for eight years.

It was as a cook on the Aalborg boat.

That anchor has to go up again.

And you must keep a sharp lookout and call out to all ships that pass by.

- Well? - We have had the engine stop.

Either we drift out into Kattegat or run aground on the ball.

Those were the fun possibilities in the horoscope.

I had been looking forward to a few hours on board.

- What about the show? - It's not until tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

- My God, you're only a man. - lh, where you look like yourself.

Charming, but cunning and calculating. A real scorpion.

Those were harsh words. Should we say cheers to that?

- Max? - Yes, Mr. Director.

- What on earth are you doing? - I've been down to get the anchor.

- How deep is here? - not as deep as I thought.

But the anchor stuck in the middle of the crayfish's tropic, -

- so I had to use pliers.

Like that.

Is the director sure that the chain is correctly placed on the anchor?

- Then I guess I have to go out again. - They stay here and send rockets up.

Then we have to hope that someone will come and save us.

Merry Christmas, Lovely Christmas.

- Now I'm in the Christmas mood. - So am I.

Shouldn't we build a new house?

Apricot Brandy. Apricots are supposed to be so healthy.

- Also when they grow on bottles? - Yes, take a sniff.

- You've got a red nose. - It's because I drink so much.

Don't we have any watermelon brandy? I love watermelons so much.

Ever since I was a boy...I have loved watermelons.

Three or four floors of it.

- What is it? Parfait Amour. - It's French perfume.

Me too.

A few floors of it.

- Now it's a whole high-rise building. - Then we need an elevator.

Yes, we need an elevator. It's a green Chartreuse.

We must have a green elevator!

I've never had that before, and I've traveled all over the world.

I have been to Norway, Sweden, Argentina, Cuba.

But I've never had a green elevator. I enter a bar in Cuba:

"I would like a green elevator."

"They can't get a green elevator." Then I can't get a green elevator.

Then I enter another bar in Cuba: "A green elevator."

"They can't get any green elevator."

"Then I want a Cuba mahogany sauce."

A green elevator for eight people. Approved by the factory inspection.

The it's off work hours.

Now we need a green elevator.

Now we need a green elevator.

Now we have to have glasses... Ladies first.

It is beautiful. I'm going to keep it.

I'm getting more and more fond of that drink.

Now there is a green light. Now I drive.

(yells)

This is what I call 100 liters of backstroke for men.

I think I'll take another 20 liters.

- Now I'm drowned. - Then I'll save you.

- I have to have artificial respiration. - I only know the word-of-mouth method.

I liked that. More artificially breathed.

So now I am saved. Now we are going to use the back-to-back method.

It's been such a long time. Has anything happened while I've been away?

Can I have the next dance?

With pleasure. - Dance.

How well everyone dances.

Hey!

- Aah no, I've lost one of my feet. - Then we have to start a search.

"Sweet, little foot left home in a flat-lined state of mind.

Notification is given to the nearest police station Under the Elmene."

- Do not. - I've seen a police station before.

- Here we have it. - I also want the other one off.

- What are we going to do with this one? - Drink off it.

Louis the Fifteenth always drank champagne from Madame Pompidou's shoes.

Then we'll have fifteen tricksters with Ludvig.

Then it needs to be iced. Then you get cold feet.

- Now I want to quit my drugs. - I want to go.

- I want to go to the Turkish bath. - It must be a Turkish foot bath.

My slippers are out in the hallway.

They have stood there for many years.

Then we'll take the wheels in, and then we'll have a little flying sauce.

When you have to have a Turkish foot bath, you must also have a turban.

Departure from Istanbul.

Hocus Pocus...

A penny for the piggy bank. A crown for Christmas presents.

How funny you look. I always said to Willy:

"I guess Ellinor has a funny husband."

- Little Ellinor. - Let that fish fly.

Are you calling Ellinor a flying fish?

If Ellinor is a fish, then Willy is a smoked herring.

If you call Willy a red herring, I won't go in a Turkish bath with you.

Then we iron the smoked herring. Do you know what Willy is?

He's a swamp pig.

- I'm in a bad mood. - You should not be.

- My wife doesn't understand me. - It has gradually dawned on me.

- How? - They have said it five times.

It is very much on my mind.

As a busy businessman, I need relaxation.

A little shepherd lesson.

- Would you be my little shepherdess? - Would you be my little baaah lamb then?

You should be allowed to cut the wool on me as often as you wanted.

It sounds promising. Then maybe give a box of chocolate?

With pleasure shiny, small spring caterpillar. Miss?

Here you go.

Now look here. To the shepherdess from the sheepfold.

- It can also say something. - You don't say that?

I'm the one hanging around here braying. Now take a little care of me.

- There is also perfume. - What should it be?

- The one called "Bandit". - With pleasure.

Hasta la basta la gajala patola...

Just hold it while I tie up the drunkenness...

They are alive.

Did you think it was eel in gel we had caught?

Long live freedom.

Look, someone is sending up skutniks.

It's called booze nods. I guess we've had enough Turkish foot baths.

"Don't get carried away."

- no more horoscope nonsense. - I want to go home. I am cold.

You should have some hot food in a moment.

- Max, how is the food? - The chicken will soon be ready for the pot.

- Hello? - Did we get a phone call? Hello?

Hello! We have had engine damage. Can you take us on a sled?

We are coming now.

Why do I have to hold down the rope?

I'm afraid you'll wake up father and mother.

- Do you live with father and mother? - Yes of course.

So I can't go up and listen to a gramophone record?

- No, that will also wake them up. - We don't put the plate on.

Then you also have to take off your shoes, so you don't wake up mum and dad.

- Now I can really list. - Then you can list home, Mr. Director.

Damn.

- The doer smacked closed. - Then we have to knock on the door.

There is no one at home. Willy and Ellinor are out.

Are they? So are they.

But the two of us are at home, so if we knock hard, -

- then one of us will probably come and open the door.

Now we have to see who it will be.

- Marianne, are you up yet? - I heard you knocking.

Well, did you hear that? Now I have to tell you something.

They should have been in bed a long time ago.

A young lady like you needs at least eight hours of sleep a year. I'm wet.

I'm also wet on the dress. I'll take it off.

Then I also take off my pants.

You are allowed to do that. This is what is known as Turkish trouser bath.

I guess I can get them off if I put in a little effort.

- Can I help? - Welcome to the pants square.

- Now I want to go to bed. - You have to compromise me.

- Can't we do it in bed? - Then I just fall asleep.

I think I'm getting so heavy.

- Where will I sleep? - Up with yourself.

(speaks nonsense Spanish)

You must also have a cover here.

Little jacket, now you have to sleep and fold your little hands.

Be careful not to get your knees in your pants.

A man is allowed to sleep when he is tired.

I must have my plaid over me. S"il Vous plaid.

Mona, wake me up when I get thirsty.

Good night.

Are you alone too? Shall we sleep together?

Ih, how you have changed.

- What will Hans think? - He is sleeping in his tent.

(shouts) What was that?

- It sounded like someone was there. - You are nervous.

I have had such a guilty conscience.

It was in such a brutal way that I said I wanted a divorce.

I don't even know what reason to give.

(yawn) Are you yawning?

- Yawns? - Don't stay because of me.

Could you not persuade Hans to be found with a lady, -

- so you can get divorced right away?

(yawn) This is the second time you've yawned. Go now.

- Well, Ellinor. - It's enough that Hans yawns at me.

- Hans! - Good evening, little Ellinor.

Are you sick? Why aren't you lying in your tent?

- Do you have some ice water on you? - He is drunk.

- What are you doing here? - I came to get a little bite.

I'll probably bite my own wife. Out with you.

No, stay. Maybe I'll need you.

- Hey, are you still up? - Look at him.

What is wrong with you?

- He must have been drinking for several hours. - What do you have?

I've sorted out the operation, you old man.

Thrown into the deep end. Picked me up.

- Where is Mona? - On the stove.

- She has gone down a long time ago. - She must have woken up.

Up, little Hans. Up, little Hans. Get up and go to school.

I'm going to drinking school. I have to learn to drink.

But you come to visit me once in a while, don't you?

Visiting hours are available during visiting hours.

- Mona's shoe is full of water! - What do you think your wife as? It's champagne.

- Have you drunk champagne? - You can believe that.

I drink on the way to the aquarium, in the aquarium.

The other day I drank the aquarium under the table.

Where is Mona?

- Mona! - Good morning, little mouse.

What a lot of people.

- She has also been drinking. In that costume. - It's probably just a harmless joke.

Do you call it a joke to find your wife as a zebra?

On top of the purchase in knickers and slippers.

Just a moment. Mona and I have a little secret.

- We have played harem. - And the Turkish bath.

- What has he done to you? - What about her? But look at him.

Do you think you are too cute? Coming home the middle of the day after tomorrow.

A whole lot of people. A crowd of people.

- A very mixed crowd. - Very mixed.

Then l comes and wakes us up because you have to have a big party.

And maybe will we be invited along by a very mixed crowd?

- We had also said no. - Yes, we had that.

We have held our own little party.

- You little... - Shut up, you swamp pig.

I have more secrets with Hans.

That is the happy madness.

And it was your little mouse that never did anything. Just as I'm out the door, -

- she throws herself at my husband. It's probably not the first time.

No no. I've kept her at the stove for a long time.

When you sober up, I'll tear you apart!

He splits me right in the middle. Then I can go my separate ways.

- I'll see you when I get home. - You may have had other women?

Plenty. My life has been full of women.

Outside the aquarium, in the aquarium. I've really got into trouble.

- I agree. Then I want a divorce! - And I want that too.

- I want a divorce too! - We must all part.

It was just right.

My poor head...

Here's some breakfast for the magister.

- Coffee, ham, eggs. - No, no.

- Maybe they will settle for the eggs? - I don't want anything at all.

- I also said that to myself. - How did you know that?

Grocer Oldenborg also felt like this every morning.

Do you want to insist that people feel like this more than once in their lives?

I won't touch a drop more as long as I drink.

Oldenborg said that too.

Did he never try to do anything about it?

Yes, he always grabbed a little good morning.

- What for? - A good morning one.

- Shouldn't I make something like that? - Well, thank you.

- Marianne! - I just serve breakfast.

- Move a bit, I want to pack. - Yes, ma'am.

Psst

Ellinor, are you leaving me?

Should I go with you after this?

- It was Willy's fault. - Thanks, I got the truth yesterday.

- That was the drunk explanation, I didn't know what I said. - That's why the truth came out.

- And you can say the rest in court. - I did it for your sake.

- What do you say? - Don't shout.

- I didn't shout! - It's nice not to do it anyway.

- My head... - The worse, the better I feel.

Then you must have an unusually good time. I give you my word of honor, -

- that I never want to see Mona again or talk to her or think about her.

- You won't leave me now, will you? - Unfortunately, no.

I have to go down and call Hother. He sends Max.

- Now let me explain. - You get three minutes.

When I come back.

Well, now again?

Don't take it so hard. You always get well again.

I only have three minutes to explain it all to my wife.

As I am, I will need three years.

My head is about to explode.

- Here are your prairie oysters. - Oysters?

- It's whiskey. - Whiskey? It knocked me out yesterday.

That is exactly why.

If you drink too much, you must drink more of the same the next day.

- What did you drink most of last night? - Most of it all.

- It's alive. - It's just an egg.

- Damn it, it's also brown. - It's the English sauce.

I didn't get English gravy yesterday. Or did I?

- Drink then. - It's not urgent, is it?

Why do you look like that? Now look the other way.

- What did you call it? - Prairie oysters.

It's a prairie fire. Water! I must have ice water.

Mr. Oldenborg always said that too.

- Doesn't that help a little now? - Yes, there is a little change.

Now lie down and read the newspaper.

When I made prairie oysters for Mr. Oldenborg, -

- then he always called me his own little foam cicada.

- I must have more ice water. - I'll get a whole jug.

Come in, little foam cicada. No, no...

- You must help me. - No, no, I can't.

I have promised Ellinor never to see you again.

If she comes here and finds you like that...

You must help me find Willy.

That night he called me a filly and a gutter mask, and then he left.

He must have gone back to his board meeting.

Yes. Yes...

- Here's more ice water. - Thank you.

Oh yes.

No, you must go now.

You know where he lives. You know his habits.

Yes, but not his habits phone number.

Go now. Ellinor can be here any minute.

Now she comes. Out in the bathroom.

What if she finds me in there?

Take a bath, knit a sweater or go on the scale.

Oh there you are. (float owner)

"Experienced buffist with knowledge of English wanted."

- Where is Mona? - Does she know English?

Here you go.

- Where is Mona? - Which Mona?

My wife. Maybe you don't know her?

Yes, her the little bright one. She is pretty.

I've been walking around all night trying to figure out what to do.

At first I wanted to kill everyone, but it's easier to let myself go.

Force her to marry you, the worst punishment.

But when I came back, she was gone. Gone!

(cling) What was that?

- It was just the ice that flowed. - The thing you did last night...

- You said I should jump out. - Not with my wife!

- Where is Mona? - Rather ask Hans.

- Where are you going, my own? - I'm going to get my housecoat.

- The man is crazy. - Tell her not to go in after it.

To hell with you, you old housecoat!

- There is a gentleman after the lady's luggage. - Say, I'll be pack in a bit.

- I want to find my wife. - I saw the lady down in the living room.

- Why didn't you say that before? - I didn't know she was gone.

- You have to go to that congress. - Do I have to drive into town alone?

I cower with Hother. And lives with mother!

- Damn it. - Hans, now you have to get me out.

- You have to wait. - I have to get out before Willy comes.

- Now go inside. - No thanks, Ellinor discovers me.

- Otherwise I'll jump out of the window! - Then you end up in the wild roses.

Now I'll see if you can go down. Watch out, someone is coming!

Now you are quiet.

What do you want, such a Martian from Venus?

I saw that the door was wide open. Yawn, yawn.

I thought I could grab a few suitcases.

Now get a rocket in the back and get going.

We fired all the rockets last night when the lady and Hother were in seasickness.

- What should it say? - Now I have to tell you.

The boat set out, and we all had to go up on deck and flare.

The lordship did not even come down to the cabin for the stick baits.

It was otherwise good. There was lobster, salmon, pigeon breast, duck...

- You haven't forgotten the shrimp? - Yes, on it again. Shrimp, lobster...

- Get lost! - Gladly.

Do you take the suitcases? I just need the last one. The door is locked.

- Is the door locked? - Give me the key.

Thanks.

- Mona is not down there! - I can explain everything.

- Explain what? - I'm going to... We're going to...

It's nice to pack the tent and the stuff down on the beach into the little cart.

Otherwise, if my husband doesn't get to town in time. My luggage must be in the sports car.

- When will the lady come? - Either I come or I don't.

If the lady comes, the lady comes. I'll have to remember that.

Willy? Mona hangs to her feet in the rose bush.

You better look for it. I can no more.

(scream) What was that?

- Phew, how hot it is here. - I've held her to the stove.

Now they all want to separate from each other.

I've always said that love and liquor are the worst thing in life.

And it gets worse when you mix.

So now it has happened.

It's a shame that four lovely young people have to run away from each other.

At least no further than to the chest of drawers and back again.

Well, there we have one of them.

No fights. It's my own car.

- Who are they? - You don't forget me that easily. Look.

- Don't you remember me from before? - Yes, but I don't know who you are.

Only I know who you are and what you are like.

They are a really small pair of panties.

- Don't shout so loudly. - The truth cannot be shouted loud enough.

Aren't you ashamed to talk about divorce with your ravishing wife?

- Mona knows everything. - Yes, about your board meetings.

- But do you also think she... - Doesn't make things worse.

You should be glad to have a wife who is faithful to you -

- despite the fact that she knows everything about your little pig's feet.

Mona, faithful? Ha! How about tonight?

There she threw the two-jet. But it was because she had to go out and breed an eel.

The rest of the night she lay to dry under a zebra skin.

- Darn it! - It must also go into the carriage.

Does that make sense, little lady?

It is written in the stars that a woman born in the sign of Virgo -

- can only be happy with an Aquarius. And this is your husband.

- I realised. - It was ravishing.

An Aquarius is stable and faithful. He stays where he is.

- If he gets angry, he fires. - What nonsense.

You forgot this one.

Beloved? Little mouse. I forgive you.

I'm not interested in that at all.

I agree with Mona.

What a piece of advice you gave me. What do we do now?

Before I have counted to three, Mona comes and asks for good weather.

Capricorn is right. Three, two, one. There we have the rocket.

Willy?

There is a board meeting.

- Where? - Upstairs.

Bye, bye.

Bye, bye. He can easily say that. What about me and my wife?

I'll fix it. Remember that you are an Aquarius and your wife a Virgin.

Be firm and determined. Now show that you are not a weak animal.

Weak animal? I just know my wife wants a divorce.

Only because she knows you won't.

When she arrives, she says: "See you get off!" Then she changes him out.

- Him? - Him the other.

- I have to see to get going. - Yes, hurry. Hother is waiting right?

Hurry up! Hother, your mother and divorce court await.

Who said I want to divorce, my own?

Should we then see to getting the suitcases into our own carriage?

Yes, my own.

Bravo, madam, that's how it should be done.

Such!

Subtitles Essery.