All language subtitles for Wagon Train S02E37 - The Steele Family Story

Mrs. Elliot Swinbourne Steele
was a widow.

She was traveling west
with four daughters.

They had lived for years
next-door to my Aunt Abigail,

and I had promised faithfully
to look out for 'em.

When I made that promise,

I have no idea
what I was takin' on.

Faith was the eldest.

Don't squint, Faith.
It makes wrinkles.

The second eldest was Hope.

Sit up straight, Hope.
It's not feminine to slouch.

And after Hope, of course,
came Charity.

Put your hat on!

How many times must Mother
tell you... freckles are a disaster.

No gentleman will have you.

And last,
but certainly not least,

came Prudence.

Eyes up, Prudence.

A lady never looks
at the ground.

Ohh!

♪ ♪

SETH: By the time we reached
the Tahoe region,

half the wives on the train

weren't speaking
to their husbands,

and those that were,
weren't sure that they should.

It seemed to be up to me

to protect
the sanctity of marriage,

the sanctity of young womanhood,

and the sanctity
of my wagon train!

Major Adams.

Major Adams, may I have
a word with you, please?

Yes, Mrs. Collingswood.
What is it?

I want you to know that my son is
a very young, impressionable boy,

and I do not intend to lose him to
any scheming little fortune hunter!

Shh! You'll wake up the
whole camp. I don't care if I do.

My son and I are
in your protection.

You want me to protect
Jeremiah from a girl?

And if one of those girls
gets her hooks into Jeremiah,

I will hold you
personally responsible!

How can you hold me responsible?!
Now who's waking everyone?

I don't care!
He's over 21, isn't he?

I am entitled to
the same protection

as any other mother
on this train.

I'll get an attorney and I'll
take you to court if necessary.

You keep those girls
away from my son!

Major Adams,

my husband spends more time
with Mrs. Steele and her daughters

than he does with me!

Why, he drove their
wagon all day yesterday!

Mrs. Parker, he just feels
sorry for 'em, I'm sure,

five helpless women.

Well, I'm one helpless woman,

and you ruined my marriage!

I've ruined your marriage?!

Listen, I'm speaking for
all the wives on this train!

We're giving you fair warning.

Either you do something
about those girls,

or every wife is leaving
when she gets to Truckee,

and you just see how far
you go with this wagon train

without any women!

Yes, Mrs. Parker.

Thank you, Mrs. Parker.

You've got to keep the men away
from my daughters!

When we joined this train, you told
us you'd look out for us, protect us.

My daughters came to you
with good reputations.

Mrs. Steele, I'm just
trying to do my best...

A lady's good name
is her most prized possession.

How can my girls
hope to get husbands now?

I'm just a poor, helpless widow
with four helpless girls

and no one but you to turn to!

Yes, Mrs. Steele, yes, yes.

Come, Faith. We're ready to go.

Ain't you eating?

No, I'm not hungry.

All the wives are gonna
leave the train.

Nothin' but trouble with 'em.

Oh, they ain't gonna
leave. They're just jealous.

Oh, I forgot. You know all
there is to know about women.

I didn't get all these
wrinkles from old age.

You should tell them old
women to mend their fences,

and watch out for
their looks a bit, too.

Tell 'em they're going to seed.

Tell em they're going to seed?

They won't speak to me now,
half of 'em.

Well, go on, eat your supper.

You told me an army
travels on its stomach.

You got quite a few miles
to go, though.

Major, you only
have to think about one thing:

Just get them Steele girls
some husbands.

Oh, thanks.

Let go!

Major Adams!

I didn't know it was you.
I'm sorry.

What in tarnation
is the matter with you?!

I was on my way back to my
wagon, and he grabbed me!

Major, I'm sorry,
really I am, but...

I don't know what came over me!

She walked by and...
and she looked so pretty...

Everything just
went black, that's all!

I'm sorry, Major! You
get back to your wagon!

I'm sorry, miss.

You won't say nothing
to my wife about this?

Don't you mention it to
your wife! Or anybody else!

Charlie, get all
the menfolk together.

I want to talk to 'em.

By thunderation,
I've had enough of this!

And you...

You... go on back to your wagon!

I'm telling you,
I'm telling you straight,

and for the last and only time,

that the next man that lays a
hand on any one of these girls

is gonna have to deal with me.

Now, you're not gonna
ruin their reputations

or my reputation

or the reputation
of my wagon train!

So you can just put that
in your pipe and smoke it!

SETH: I know that
you can't help being pretty,

you can't help that.

And you can't help being young,

you can't help that.

And you can't help being female.

But by golly, I'm telling you,

you've just simply got to try,

that's all there is to it!

Try what, Major Adams?

Prudence, can't you ever
look at a man without flirting?

I'm not flirting.
I'm just friendly.

Well, can't you look at him
natural, like a brother or something?

I don't have a brother.

No, you don't have a brother.

Well, use your imagination!

You girls pay strict attention.

You've needed
the guidance of a man.

If your father was here,
he'd talk to you like this.

Now, girls, I know that
you're all too young to realize

what this flirting and making
goo-goo eyes at men can lead to.

But I'm trying to
tell you like a father

that you can get into water so
deep that you'll never swim out.

We can all swim.

Would you mind explaining
that again, Major Adams?

Can't you understand English?

I guess not always.

It was perfectly clear
to me, I...

You put it beautifully,
Major Adams.

What did he say?

He says not to lead
young men on.

Or old men, either!

Oh, is that all?

"Oh, is that all?"
Well, that's a lot.

And you better
listen to it, too,

or you'll never grow up
to be a lady!

I don't know if I want
to grow up to be a lady.

Oh, she doesn't want
to be a lady!

She doesn't know what
she's saying. She's a baby.

I'm sixteen!

Mother had you
before she was sixteen.

Prudence, don't be indelicate!

Well, Faith grew up to be
a lady, and she's a spinster.

Prudence, apologize to your
sister and go straight to bed!

Why should she apologize?
What she said is perfectly true.

Faith, darling,
you're not a spinster.

I'll be thirty in August,
and we all know it.

Faith could have had
her pick of the town.

There just wasn't
much to pick from.

Horace Greeley
ruined our lives...

Writing that hateful thing.

The went west, all right...

Every young man we knew!

Just like rats
following the Pied Piper.

We've been a terrible
problem for you, haven't we?

I'm sure you'll be happy
when we arrive in Sacramento.

Well, I sure...

I sure told those menfolk
a thing or two,

and I think I got 'em
straightened out.

But I'll tell ya something.

Hereafter, when you girls
go walking in the evening,

either Wooster or Hawks or
myself are gonna be around.

Oh, Major Adams, for the first
time since the death of Mr. Steele,

I feel that I'm not alone.

May I really lean
on your strong arm?

C-Certainly, Mrs. Steele.

You-You have my arm.
You-You have.

Oh, what a truly kind, noble...

honorable man you are!

Mrs. Steele, I-I...

I just try to keep my word,

I try to do my duty
as I... see it.

I never noticed you before.

I been noticing you.

That's why I put my uniform on.

You should wear it
all the time, Captain.

Well, I'm sorry, it's
only Lieutenant, ma'am.

I thought you were too young
to be a captain.

My, but I love uniforms.
Are you a hero?

Well, naturally.

Have you been wounded?

Several places.

Show me your scars.

If I did that Major Adams would
have me tarred and feathered, ma'am.

Are you married?

Oh, no, ma'am.

You sound as if
you don't intend to be.

Now we have
a perfect understanding.

Oh, I could marry you
if I wanted to.

I don't want to.

Have you got a girl?

You sure ask a lot of questions.

Would you like to kiss me?

Being an officer
and a gentleman, I...

I could hardly say no.

Aren't you afraid
of Major Adams?

Well, if he's not,
he'd better be!

Listen here, young lady,

I'm gonna tell you a
thing or two! Aaaaaah!

Help! Help!

Mama, help!!!

You put me down! SETH: Shut up!

You big bully! Shut up!

Mama! Put you dow...

Ouch!

Why, she's drawn
blood! Naughty girl!

I ought to spank you!

I can't be spanked! I'm a lady!

Lady my foot.
A lady doesn't bite.

And she doesn't carry on
in the woods with a soldier!

Woods? Soldiers? Oh, Prudence!

How in the name of common sense

you ever named that child
Prudence, I don't know!

She was such a sweet,
innocent little baby.

Little baby, yeah.
Well, she sure outgrew it.

You listen to me, young lady.

You get in that wagon,

and you stay there till
I tell you you can get out!

I won't! Oh, you won't, huh?

Aaaah! You're so
crazy about the army,

we can just give you
a little army discipline.

Now, you're confined to your
quarters till we get to Truckee!

Give me those shoes. My shoes?!

How am I gonna run away from
those Indians with tomahawks?

The Indians in this part
of the country are friendly,

and by golly, I'm not gonna
take any chances on you...

I'm gonna keep 'em that way!
Brat!

Hey, what are you doing?

Lookin'.

How old is that Martin boy?

About seventeen.

Too young.

Yeah, but Jeremiah Collingswood
is twenty-two.

And you know, I think
he's got his eye on Charity.

Listen, Jeremiah's mother told
me that she'd take me to court

if he got involved
with any of those girls.

You're not afraid of her, are
you? You're goldurn tootin' I am.

Yeah, but you know, he gets
$10,000 a year from his granddad.

Sure a shame to waste it.

How about that McKenzie boy?

Ellis? He's engaged
to some girl back home.

But Jeremiah isn't engaged
to anybody... only his mom.

Listen, Bill,
why don't you lay off?

You're not gonna get me
in trouble with that old gal,

so just take it easy.

Ladies.

We're gonna be able to see
Lake Tahoe in a few minutes.

Keep your eyes open.

Oh!

Doesn't Major Adams
ride beautifully?

Major Adams, Major Adams...
That's all you talk about.

You're getting cranky, Charity.

Why don't you go back and visit
the Collingswood wagon?

You know Mrs. Collingswood
hates us.

She thinks we're after
Jeremiah's money.

She's mistaken. We
like Jeremiah for himself.

Well, I don't.
He looks like an owl.

You're just not used to
his spectacles.

And do you know
what his hobby is? Birds.

Well, that's a nice
harmless hobby.

Mama, I don't like him.

You must learn like him.

I'm glad I'm past the age
when I can be considered

a commodity
on the marriage block.

I seem to detect
a note of criticism.

I'm sorry.

Do you think I'm wrong to want
my family to have nice homes,

security, a pleasant life?

But don't you want them
to have love?

Oh, my dear child, poverty
is not as essential to romance

as it appears in novels.

Perhaps you're right.

My experience has
come from novels.

We're getting pretty close
to the top, Mrs. Steele.

I'll drive down, if you like.

Oh, thank you, Major. All right.

Get in back, Charity.

You know, Prudence,

we'll be getting to Truckee
by the middle of the afternoon.

I'll give you your shoes back
when we get there.

I'm sorry I bit you.

Well, I'm sorry you did, too.

Whoa. Whoa, son, ho.

Take a lookie there.
There's Lake Tahoe, ladies.

Pretty, isn't it?

Come on!

What a handsome house.

That belongs to
a fella named Dashwood.

Owns the biggest
silver mine up here.

His wife is
a very fortunate woman.

He hasn't got a wife.

He's a widower?

No, he's a bachelor. A bachelor?

Yep. Confirmed bachelor,
I'm sorry to say.

Nonsense. There's no such...

How old is Mr. Dashwood?

Oh, he's in his forties,
I guess.

Forties! Did you
hear that, Faith?

Mama, we don't even know him!

Well, you're gonna meet him.

I was up here last week
on some business.

He says he's gonna give us a
party when we get into Truckee.

We'll get out your ball gowns!

Ball gowns?
Out here in this wilderness?

You won't need anything
that fancy.

Why, Mama, we'd have to
tear the wagon apart.

Those dresses are
clear in the bottom.

Major Adams will help.

I get pretty busy
when I get into Truckee.

You'll take the town
by its heels!

Why, who knows, the right man

may be waiting here
for each of you!

Oh, what a beautiful thought.

There must be many
single men of good fortune

in a town like this.

Oh, Mama, you're dreaming.

No, she's not dreaming.

There's a lot of bachelors
in Truckee.

Get out the ball gowns!

Who knows what might happen?

Come on, Pete, giddyup there!

Heeyah!

Giddyup, yeahhh!

You must all do your best to
appear a little more delicate.

You're too healthy.

A true lady must always
be frail and delicate.

That neck line is quite
low enough, Prudence.

An evening dress
may expose a lady's shoulders,

but her ankles must remain a
mystery until her wedding night.

And Prudence, please,
try not to chatter.

A lady charms a gentleman
by listening to him.

But Hope, a lady must open
her mouth once in a while.

Do say something to your
partners now and then.

And Faith, try not to
sound too intelligent.

Intelligent women are very
frightening to gentlemen.

Now, girls, be light of foot
and light of heart.

This may be the most
important night of your lives.

And I want you to pay most
particular attention to Mr. Dashwood.

Come. We won't loiter.

Heads up! Stomachs in.
Shoulders back. Smile.

They're really something
to look at, aren't they, Bill?

Your daughters
are lovely, Mrs. Steele.

There'll be a lot of
turned heads here tonight.

Maybe even yours, huh?

I'm afraid mine's
a little stiff and rusty.

But there are a lot of
younger heads present.

I'm sure the hunting
will be very good, Mrs. Steele.

Remember what I told ya?

I was sure we could never
pin our hopes on Bill Dashwood.

Mr. Dashwood is no match
for you, Major Adams.

You're the kind of man
who can accomplish anything.

Oh, Mrs. Steele, I'm afraid
you're a bit prejudiced.

Of course. How could I be
anything but prejudiced

after watching you
all these months?

Why, you're a giant among men.

Mrs. Steele, I'm just an
ordinary wagon master, that's all.

Ordinary wagon master... I won't
have you think of yourself that way.

You're a leader, a force,
an inspiration.

There's nothing you can't
do if you set your mind to it.

Well, we've got several
strings to our bow tonight,

and there are many
fine prospects here.

Oh, yes, Major Adams...
there are.

Uh... shall we?

I didn't know the Major
could waltz, Bill.

Charlie, he hasn't been a
wagon master all his life.

No.

Well, if he don't watch out,

he won't be picking husbands
for that family, he'll be one.

And we'll be out of a job.

Yeah.

Sure you wouldn't like to
try another dance, Major?

Mrs. Steele, you see, I
haven't waltzed in a long time,

and I'm not exactly
sure of myself.

Amazing. You do it
with such... su...

You dance so beautifully.

Who is that with Hope?

Oh, that's Clay Willis.

He's a foreman at the mines.

He's young to be
a foreman, isn't he?

Yes, he is, but he's
Mr. Dashwood's nephew.

Really? Yes.

He's a fine boy. He comes from
the poor side of the family.

But he's got great prospects.

Hope's wasted almost an hour.

You must find a suitable
partner for her right after this set.

Ahh! How did that dreadful
army man get Prudence?

He's holding her too close.

Well, from the speed
at which they're moving,

I think he probably
has to hang on.

He has no business taking up
Prudence's time at all.

Oh, and look at Faith,

wasting her time on Hawks.

Hawks is all right, ma'am,
he's a fine man.

Of course he is,
but he already has a wife.

Let's not lose sight
of the purpose of this evening.

We're in search of husbands.

Oh, and look at poor
Jeremiah Collingswood.

Rich, eligible,

and nobody to talk to
but his mother.

Well, as long as
that old lady's standing guard,

I'm sure that nobody's gonna
get through to him, ma'am.

And I spoke most particularly to
those girls about Mr. Dashwood!

Remember what Mr. Dashwood
said about being a bit rusty?

Why, Mr. Dashwood
is in the prime of life.

He has everything
a girl could want.

Except youth.

Major Adams,

youth does not make
the best husbands.

Well, it makes the
best-looking ones, shall we say.

You're wrong, Major Adams.

Well, I-I...

You take the girls aside

and have a heart-to-heart
talk with them, Major Adams.

They mustn't waste
their opportunities.

Be firm with them. You're
the only father they have.

Mrs... Mrs. Steele, I...

I'm no...

Jeremiah, you naughty boy.

You haven't danced
with Charity all evening.

She doesn't want
to dance with me.

Of course she does.

She's longing
for you to ask her.

She is?

No, she isn't.

She thinks I'm a dullard...
and she's right.

Jeremiah, I know you've led
a sheltered life,

but it's time you developed
a little self-confidence.

You're a very attractive
young man.

Now, you ask Charity to dance.

What were you saying to my son?

Oh! Such a lovely boy,
Mrs. Collingswood.

You must be very proud of him.

Get in here.

Why do we have to come in here?

Your mother wants me
to talk to you.

Oh, dear. More coaching
from the sidelines.

Where in tarnation
is that Faith?

We'll have to go on
without her, that's all.

Come on over there and sit down.
Come on.

Uh...

Now, your mother want you to
pay more attention to Mr. Dashwood.

We can't ask him to dance,
Major Adams.

A gentleman must always
ask a lady.

I don't want to
dance with him, anyway.

He's so old.

Mr. Dashwood's
a fine figure of a man.

Oh, I know he's
very well preserved,

but he's old enough
to be my grandfather!

He's only in his forties!

That's what I mean.

Why, he must be
as old as you are!

Listen here, young lady, I'll have
you know that I am no Methuselah!

Oh, not you, Major Adams.
Mr. Dashwood.

You're not dancing this evening.

No, just looking, thank you.

You've monopolized the
only attractive girl in the room.

Hope is beautiful, isn't she?

Watch out.
She's got a designing mother.

Well, I, uh, hope
she has designs on me.

I warn you, your charms will be
estimated in terms of your bank balance.

Ha ha ha ha! What a cynic.

Why shouldn't I be?

In my time, many a Mrs. Steele

has said her daughters
care for me.

Well, uh, if Mrs. Steele
wants you for Hope,

you'll have to
fight it out with me.

I daresay Mrs. Steele would
marry me to any of her daughters,

including the baby one.

But I've lived long enough
to recognize the tricks.

I'm too old to be caught now.

Haven't you ever been in love?

Oh, I had a few of the symptoms
when I was about seventeen.

As I recall, it was all
thoroughly depressing.

Well, I feel sorry for you,
Uncle Dashwood.

I feel sorry for you,
nephew Willis.

I'm safe from the Mrs. Steeles.

Uh, have you seen any interesting
birds lately, Mr. Collingswood?

Are you interested in
birds too, Miss Steele?

Well, I've never really met any,

except a woodpecker that lived
in our maple tree back home.

Was it a downy woodpecker?
A pileated woodpecker?

Or a yellow-bellied sapsucker?

Probably.

You've got a lot to learn
about woodpeckers.

I'm sorry,
I really haven't time.

I'm sorry too, because I've
got a lot to learn about you.

You're paying no attention
to Mr. Dashwood at all.

Faith, I'm speaking to you.

I said... I agree.

I am paying no attention
to Mr. Dashwood at all.

Major Adams is bringing Mr. Dashwood
over. For heaven's sakes, smile.

Such a lovely party.
Such a generous host!

You're very kind.

Faith has just been speaking
about you in the most glowing terms.

You made a great impression
on her. Hasn't he, Faith?

Mr. Dashwood has made an...
An indelible impression.

You see? All my daughters
are such shy, retiring girls.

They never have the courage
to speak for themselves.

Will you favor me with
this dance, Miss Faith?

Thank you, Mr. Dashwood,

but I really don't care
to dance just now.

Perhaps later?

No, I think not. Not later.

Not ever, Mr. Dashwood.

Faith! Mr. Dashwood is our host.

And we're not going to
impose on that fact,

are we, Mother? Impose?!

I don't think I understand.

Well, I'm sure I don't.

You see, you are quite safe,
Mr. Dashwood.

As you yourself
so gallantly stated,

you are too old to be caught.

Ah. So that's it.

Even at my age,
I'm still surprised

when I find a lady
is not a gentleman.

And I am surprised to learn how easily
a gentleman forgets he's a gentleman!

Touche.

Ohh!

Easy now, Mrs. Steele. Easy.

You're gonna be all right. Easy.

Oh, Mr. Dashwood,
please forgive my little girl.

She's not herself tonight.
I should say she isn't,

and I'm real sorry, Bill.

Sorry? I'm in your debt.

I haven't enjoyed anything
so much in years.

Thanks, Bill.

Ohh...

You know, Mrs. Steel, I'm afraid
that nothing is going the way it should.

We're getting into this
thing over my head.

Thank you.

You know,
there's an old-fashioned theory

that it takes two people to fully
appreciate a moonlit evening.

What amazing conceit,
Mr. Dashwood,

to think that you could add
anything to a moonlit evening.

When you're finished
with this girlish outburst,

I'll proceed with my apology.

Please don't do anything
so foreign to your nature.

Do you intend
to be angry with me forever?

Indeed not. I don't intend
to know you forever.

I've always admired spirit
in a woman.

I am not in the least interested in
what you've always admired in a woman!

I'll overlook that
thoroughly dishonest statement.

I realize that
it's very difficult

for a woman to be honest
when she's angry.

Are you daring to suggest
that I am interested in you?!

It's very obvious.

Ohh! Mr. Dashwood!

And also, I confess,
somewhat intriguing,

because I realize it's genuine,
and not contrived.

Ohh! Good night!

And goodbye, Mr. Dashwood!

It's only good night,
Miss Steele.

We'll meet again, I promise you.

Well, it was a good party,
wasn't it?

Well, pretty good.

Aw, I guess it was
a terrible party.

A party's no fun when someone
keeps telling you who to dance with.

Shouldn't have had to tell any of
you. You knew why you were there.

Why, we were on exhibit
like slaves at an auction.

No other woman
of my acquaintance

has four daughters to launch,
four husbands to find!

We could all be old maids.

There hasn't been an old maid in
our family in over a hundred years.

There was great-aunt Hester.

Great-aunt Hester died at the
age of 12. She doesn't count.

There's no use crying
over spilled milk.

The milk did not need
to be spilled!

Well, I didn't spill any milk.

I let Jeremiah Collingswood
dance all over my feet.

Tell us about the yellow-bellied
sapsucker, Charity.

Prudence Steele,
that's barroom language!

Major Adams, I want you to wash
that young lady's mouth out with soap!

Not me. She bites, remember?

Obviously you've never met
a yellow-bellied sapsucker.

Well, she's met
Jeremiah Collingswood,

and he's a real...
Charity Steele!

It's the name of a bird,
Mama. A woodpecker.

Well, it has a...
A very indelicate name.

You know, I can tell you
its entire history.

I can also tell you
the entire history

of any other woodpecker
you would care to name.

Very well, Miss Sauce Pot.

Do you prefer Mr. Dashwood?

No!

Does she have to like one of them
or the other? After all, she's only 17.

Major Adams, I am not
speaking to Faith at the moment.

Will you kindly inform her that I
cannot afford to lose any prospects?

Faith, your mother says...

Major Adams,
kindly inform my mother

that Mr. Dashwood
is a disagreeable,

miserable, rude, arrogant,

impossible man!

I thought he was charming.

And he is not a gentleman.

That's kind of a serious
charge. What did he do?

Well, that question is an
invasion of privacy, Major.

It's a good question. By all
that's holy, you're gonna tell me!

And by all that's holy,
I am not!

You just wait a minute here!

If that fella Dashwood laid one
finger on you, so help me I'll...

He wouldn't dare.

Then what did he do
that was so terrible?!

You're yelling at my
sister! I'm yelling at all of ya!

Your bully tactics
won't work with me.

I hate, loathe, abominate and
despise the ground he walks on!

And even if you beat me to
ribbons you won't change my mind!

ALL: Good night, Major Adams.

But what did he do?!!

Mrs. Steele,

I can handle
a regiment of soldiers.

I can cope with the desert,
with a snowstorm,

with sleet, with rain,
with... even Wooster!

But these four daughters of
yours are just too much for me!

You mustn't lose heart,
Major Adams!

Lose heart?
I've lost my confidence!

Hush up out there!

Don't cry. Please don't cry!

If you desert me now,
what will I do?!

Shh!

You'll wake up the whole camp!

I'm not going to desert you.

MAN: Quiet! Oh, thank
you, Major Adams!

Thank you! Thank you!

See? What'd I tell ya?

Charlie, we don't have to
worry about the Major.

Don't you be too sure.

He's almost human, you know.

Hiya, Bill! Hiya, Mr. Dashwood.

Where's the Steele wagon?

On down the line
a-ways. Thank you.

Come on, let's move it up!

Oh! My dear Mr. Willis!
My dear, dear Mr. Dashwood!

Come. I'll conduct you
to Major Adams immediately.

Clay, you...

you say that you want to
court Miss Hope, is that it?

Yes, sir.

And Bill, you want to
court Miss Faith?

Well, I'll be.

Mrs. Steele, you and I better
have some private talk back here.

Gay, impetuous young men!

Listen, is this young Willis
all right with you now?

Well, you said he was a fine
young man with good prospects.

And of course, we mustn't
risk offending Mr. Dashwood.

But you can't let Dashwood
court Faith. Why not?

You know how
she feels about him.

She says she hates, loathes, and
despises the ground he walks on!

But Major Adams, that means
she's very much in love!

I guess I just don't understand
the English language.

When I say I hate somebody, I
hate 'em. When I love 'em, I love 'em.

But you're not a woman, Seth.

Thank heaven I'm not! Have
you decided to accept us?

Sweet boy. So anxious.

Of course you'll be acceptable.

You understand that I'm not
guaranteeing this. I want no part of it.

It would be highly
presumptuous if you did.

Well, Clay, we're part
of the wagon train.

You mean you're
joining us? Oh, no!

Let's put it this way, Seth.

You're gaining a couple of sons,
not losing a couple of daughters.

But I want to lose 'em!
I'd like to lose all of 'em!

I wish I'd never laid eyes on...

Say, then, maybe
you'll want them to stay here

and you can court 'em here, huh?

Leave the wagon train?
Leave you?

Yes, Truckee's
a wonderful place.

You'll like it much better
than San Francisco.

Then all the girls
can be married right here.

No! No, Major Adams!

I could never manage
without you now.

Cheer up, Seth.
The more, the merrier.

Thanks, Bill.

Come, boys!

Clay?

Faith should be here.

Let's not force her. I'd rather
she'd be here of her own free will.

How many you want, Bill? One.

I'll take one myself.

SETH: Hey, who in
tarnation is that out there

walking with Charity tonight?

That Williams boy.

Charity likes variety, you know.

Bill, better walk on out there,
and keep your eyes open.

See that they're all on their
feet and moving at all times.

I wish you had never met
that Aunt Abigail of yours.

How about a little two-hand?

Well, I might. Deal 'em.

I told Mother I was going
for a walk with Charity,

and she's so upset about
Faith and Mr. Dashwood

she forgot to ask me
any questions.

I just love it up here
in the mountains. Don't you?

Of course you do.
Everybody loves the mountains.

I've never seen mountains
like these before.

Hey, she stopped talking.

Prudence!

PRUDENCE: I just stopped to
get my breath, Major Adams.

You get out there. Don't
let 'em out of your sight.

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute!

Three aces.

Hello, Faith. You walking
by yourself again tonight?

I like being alone.

Well, just don't wander
out of earshot.

Good evening, Miss Steele.

We seem to be walking
in the same direction.

Are you determined
to spoil my walk?

May I tell you I am traveling
with the wagon train?

Mr. Dashwood, is there
any way I can convince you

that I am not in the least
interested in your affairs?

But I am almost unbearably
interested in yours.

Be careful, Mr. Dashwood. I have a
designing mother. Watch out for traps.

But I am trapped,
hoist with my own petard.

You have captured me,
Faith... my dear Faith.

I have captured you? Completely.

Then I set you free.

Forgive me for
taking up your time.

Please accept my best wishes for
your health and happiness.

Good night, Mr. Dashwood.

You were right the first time.
It was goodbye.

Faith...

you know, honey,
I once heard of a man

who cut off his nose
to spite his face.

And he was never
very happy without it.

Are you referring to
Mr. Dashwood as my nose?

He's in love with you.

In love with me.

He's in love with himself.

That may be, but he's
also in love with you.

He thinks you're a fine
and beautiful girl,

and he offers you
his honorable name

and-and his devotion and...

I've never asked for
Mr. Dashwood's good opinion.

But honey, he has
a great deal to offer.

A great deal to offer?

Yes! Comfort, security,
position, money!

How dare you suggest
such things could influence me!

I'm not for sale, Major Adams!

I wasn't trying to suggest
that you were for sale! I...

Comfort! Security! Money!

What about warmth
and kindness and sensitivity?

Mr. Dashwood is
emotionally bankrupt!

Wait a minute, Faith. Wait.

Listen. You've only
known the man a few days.

I knew that when I only
knew him for a few minutes.

You just want me to marry him
because you think we'll go back to Truckee

and you'll be rid of
us! Now, easy, girl,

just take it easy, will ya?

And stop talking to me
as though I was a horse!

I don't know how to talk to you!

I wouldn't marry Mr. Dashwood if
he was the last man in the world,

and maybe he is
the last man in my world,

but I still wouldn't marry him!

- Help! Get me out of here!
- What's that?

Someone must have had
an accident!

Sounds like Major Adams.

Maybe you're needed,
Mr. Wooster.

I'll see Prudence
back to the wagon.

You sure you'll go
right back? Oh, yes!

You promise? Oh, yes, sir!

All right, I'll trust you.
SETH: Wooster! Charlie!

What happened?

That question is an
invasion of my privacy!

Well, what are you doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?!

That water's a little cold,
ain't it?

Where I'm sitting,
it's sizzling!

I'll give you a hand.

Pull.

Well, pull!

You're a little heavy.

No, I...

Boy, you're sure heavy!

Achoo!!!

See there, Major?
You're catching cold.

No, I am not catching cold.

I'm just sneezing.

"Boil out a cold,"
that's my motto.

Acch!

Aaah! No, you don't.
Keep 'em in there.

Charlie, you're just
basically mean!

You'll thank me
for this tomorrow.

I won't thank you
if I can't walk!

Well, Charity and Hope
are delivered safe...

What happened to you?
Oh, none of your business.

He fell down. Blabbermouth!

How'd that happen?

I got tired
and I sat down to rest!

You're sure in a great humor.

Shut up.

Come on, Major!
I'll take you piggy-back.

Ohh! Major!

Come on, Charlie! That's hot!

What's the matter, Mrs. Steele?

Prudence! That army man!

Oh, my baby! My baby!

My baby! You were
assigned to Prudence!

She told me she was going
straight back to the wagon.

Besides, I had to take care
of you... You left your post!

She's run off with him,
all right.

Oh, my baby! My sweet baby!

Married without
her mother, even!

He... he will marry her, won't he?

After all, he is a lieutenant.

An officer wouldn't run off
with a lady and not, would he?

I... Well, I... Ohhhh!!!

Major Adams!

Well, go get her!
Don't just stand there!

All by myself? Well, I can't
go, and neither can Bill Hawks!

Now get going, will ya?!

I'll go with you. So will I.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Dashwood!

You take your horse whip,
Mr. Dashwood!

She'll be all right, now.

I wish I had thought
of running off.

Why?

Well, at least Prudence
is with the man she wants,

not handcuffed to
someone Mama wants.

Perhaps after all
Mama does know best.

Major Adams.

Major Adams, you must help me.

Now, what is it,
Mrs. Collingswood?

Jeremiah's in a state.

I know he's in a state,

and he's gonna get worse
before he gets better.

You don't understand.

Last night, I found him looking
up all the facts on matricide.

Matricide, ma'am?

The murder of a mother
by her son.

Well, he's not gonna
do it on this train, ma'am.

I certainly hope not!

You can bet your boots he isn't.

What next?

I don't know, Bill, I swear...

Don't cry so much.
It'll make your eyes red.

No man likes a red-eyed female.

I have had enough.
I've really had enough.

You hold up till I
get back. Right.

Jeremiah, get down
off of that wagon.

I want to talk to you.

Yes, sir.

Take that coat off.

Come on, throw it up there.

Now take our neck tie off.

Talking about matricide, huh?

I thought maybe
if I scared her a little,

she'd let me live my own life.

Unbutton that collar!

Get them glasses off!

Would you mind
hitting me with them on?

I can't see a thing without 'em.

Get them glasses off!

Now let me look at ya.

Well, I figured that,
it's just like I thought.

Thought what, sir?

You come with me, and
you do exactly as I tell ya.

Can I put my glasses on?

Don't mind your glasses.
What are you gonna do with me?

I'm going to emancipate you!

Charity, come here to me!

Jeremiah?

Is that you?

Major Adams has given me
permission to marry you,

and I'm gonna do it.

Why, Jeremiah.

Why didn't you
take those glasses off before?

Is that Jeremiah?
You bet your boots it is.

Jeremiah, you come back here
this minute... Mrs. Collingswood.

May I leave you with
just one thought?

"Matricide."

I can't plan to be married
while Faith's so unhappy.

Well, I sure never thought
I'd have any trouble with you.

Well, she cried all
night. So did Mother.

So did I.

You must have had
the wagon drenched.

You see, Major Adams,

if we all get married and leave,

Faith will be an old maid.

As long as we're together,

she's still just
the oldest girl.

Well, I just can't get Faith
and Mr. Dashwood together.

I think you can now.

Well, all right,
I'll make one more try,

but this is absolutely the last.

Faith, will you
please stop crying?

I've been such a fool!

Well, honey, you can't
help that... you're a woman.

He'll never forgive me!

He'll forgive you
or I'll tear him apart.

When he spoke to me
that night, I was so...

And even after that he
was still willing to help us.

When I saw him ride off
like that to help Prudence,

after the way I treated him...

Honey, tell me
one thing, will ya?

Just what was it that made you
so mad at him in the first place?

I don't know.

You don't...

Isn't that strange?
I don't know.

You don't know...

Oh, I swear...

Well, they're married.

Well, now what?

They're married!

Oh, Charlie. I...

Go get cleaned up!

SETH: Prudence was
the matron of honor,

and following her
came the brides...

Faith...

Hope...

and Charity.

I took no chances. I performed
this ceremony myself.

SETH: And now,

by the authority vested in me
as wagon master,

I pronounce you
and each and every one of you

man and wife.

Thank you.

I crawled into bed

with the definite expectation
of a good, peaceful sleep.

Now what is wrong?!

Oh, Major Adams,

I've lost my babies!

Mrs. Steele, you just
absolutely flabbergast me.

That's because you've never
been a mother, Major Adams,

you've never been a mother!

No, you're right, I haven't,

but tomorrow's another day.

Who knows what'll happen then?

Lookie there, Bill.
She's gonna get him yet.

Hey, we better keep our eyes
on him till we get to Sacramento.

Yeah, it's a good thing
we know what to do.

We'll just keep that old
gentleman on his feet

and keep him moving.

Good night, Mrs. Steele.

Good night, Major Adams.

You're right...
Tomorrow is another day.

Yes.

Perhaps tomorrow.