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1
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:24,358
Fry: After centuries as a
delivery boy, nothing surprises me.
2
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:30,615
You stink, loser.
3
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:31,949
Leela: Hey, fry!
4
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,368
Pizza going out! Come on!
5
00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:37,663
All right.
I'll take the red rocket.
6
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:53,304
Hello! Pizza delivery
for d. Frosted wang.
7
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,265
Not another crank delivery!
8
00:00:56,349 --> 00:00:58,768
Why don't I read these things
ahead of time?
9
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:01,979
One time was funny.
10
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,440
But every week for 10 years?
Not as funny.
11
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,818
True, not as funny.
But, still, somewhat funny.
12
00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:13,991
And then they burst out
laughing a second time.
13
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,831
I've been a
delivery boy for a thousand years.
14
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,292
Isn't there any room
for promotion around here?
15
00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:25,753
There'll be no promotions
unless somebody dies.
16
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:26,921
And even then,
17
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,840
only if we can't bring them
back as a zombie, like scruffy.
18
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,010
Life and death are
a seamless continuum.
19
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,721
Well, could I at least
get some encouragement?
20
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,473
I could use a shot in the arm.
21
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,017
I got shot in the leg!
22
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,146
Robeflol what are
you doing here?
23
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,607
What? A fella can't
drop in on old friends
24
00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,484
and hold them hostage?
25
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,361
I'm good. And you?
26
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,364
Smitty: Attention,
criminal robot in the building!
27
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,907
Come out with your hands up!
28
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,284
Neveh
29
00:01:56,409 --> 00:01:57,618
smitty: Other guy.
30
00:01:57,702 --> 00:02:00,496
Listen up, piggies,
I want a hovercopter,
31
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,248
and an unmarked sandwich,
32
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,501
and a new face with,
like, a Hugh Grant look.
33
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,795
And every five minutes
I don't get it,
34
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,631
someone's going to
get stabbed in the ass!
35
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:12,049
Dr. Zoidberg: He's bluffing.
36
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,759
Ouch! He's not bluffing!
37
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,929
You call for a chopper?
38
00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:20,057
No, I specifically
said hovercopter!
39
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,809
One chopper coming up.
40
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,519
Hiya!
41
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,898
All: All right! Way to go.
42
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:32,778
You know, url,
43
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:34,905
sometimes it's almost
too much for me.
44
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,657
You mean, the respect we get?
45
00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:39,577
And the high level
ofjob satisfaction?
46
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,329
There's that,
but I'm also talking about
47
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,581
the non-stop promotions
and the free hot rod.
48
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,254
Idolove a man in uniform.
49
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:55,009
I mean, a uniform that
doesn't involve short pants.
50
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,512
I can see I have no future here.
51
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,307
My only option is to
resign with dignity.
52
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,100
Here are my shorts.
53
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:13,527
Hello. I'd like to enroll
in police academy.
54
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,321
You think you can
just waltz in here
55
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,864
with no pants and become a cop?
56
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:17,947
That's the plan.
57
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:18,991
I like you, kid.
58
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:20,284
I got no pants on, either.
59
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,536
I can see that. You're
quite a bit taller than me.
60
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,872
Welcome to police academy.
61
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,374
Hi, I'm fry.
62
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,417
I'm the sound effects 5000.
63
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:37,551
Wow. That would be impressive
if you were a human.
64
00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:38,886
Yeah.
65
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,888
On your feet
for chief o'manahan.
66
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,223
At ease, cadets.
67
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,492
I'll make this short and sweet,
68
00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:45,434
'cause I'm pmsing
like a lumberjack.
69
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,520
Police academy
is not for everybody.
70
00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:49,647
You're gonna get
your boob scuffed.
71
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,857
But if you've got
the vulva to stick it out,
72
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,652
I'll be proud to call
you ladies "policemen."
73
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:55,986
Sir! Yes, ma'am!
74
00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:05,204
Yeah. That's great.
75
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,415
Now, can you actually
turn on the ignition?
76
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,458
I don't have any hands.
77
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,438
O'manahan: Well,
it's that time of the month.
78
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,440
Graduation day.
79
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:35,860
So grow a pair and put them
together for our new officers!
80
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,073
Hooray for the pigs!
81
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:43,951
Graduates, you are
hereby officially cops.
82
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,078
Now move it along,
nothing to see here.
83
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,294
Hooray! Free sky sticks!
84
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,422
Police brutality!
85
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,391
Nice. All right.
86
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,019
Before we head out, I'll be
teaming up our new officers
87
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,854
with their
ironically matched partners.
88
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,397
Sound effects 5000,
89
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,357
you'll be with cranski.
90
00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:17,902
My tinnitus!
91
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,322
Fry, due to the unfortunate
loss of officer Smith,
92
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:22,907
you'll be riding with url.
93
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,368
And smitty was just a
few days from retirement.
94
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:27,661
What happened?
95
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,498
He took a early retirement.
Damn.
96
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,503
Let's get down to business.
97
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:38,589
Aren't you going to say,
"good news, everyone"?
98
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:41,383
I just said that
for fry's benefit.
99
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,887
Made the poor fellow feel
better about his pointless job.
100
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,555
As much as I miss him,
101
00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:48,557
he didn't really serve
much purpose around here.
102
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,726
Though he did walk zoidberg.
103
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,772
In any case,
I've improved on fry
104
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,982
by sticking some
wheels on a board,
105
00:05:57,066 --> 00:06:01,070
so Leela and bender can easily
make the next delivery without him.
106
00:06:01,237 --> 00:06:02,905
Neat. So, where we going?
107
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:04,865
Pandora.
108
00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:06,700
That dangerous 3D planet?
109
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,494
Can't we just send our avatars?
110
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,372
No, it's cheaper
just to have you die.
111
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:19,338
Whoa!
112
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,465
Fifteen miles over
the speed of light.
113
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:25,052
That's a violation of the law
of lorentz invariance, baby.
114
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,470
Light 'em up.
115
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,202
Look out for that
particular individual!
116
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,914
An electric wall, eh?
117
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:57,042
I can't see
the harm in peeing on that.
118
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,724
Whoa! Where'd my man learn that?
119
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,892
Sunny d commercial.
120
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:18,814
Let's refract this sucker.
121
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,045
DNA and career chip, please.
122
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,632
Erwin schrodinger, huh?
123
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,800
What's in the box, schrodinger?
124
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:50,638
A cat, some poison
and a cesium atom.
125
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,431
The cat, is it alive or dead?
126
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:53,724
Alive or dead?
127
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,142
Answer him, fool.
128
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,811
It's a superposition
of both states
129
00:07:57,895 --> 00:08:00,064
until you open it and
collapse the wave function.
130
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,565
Says you.
131
00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:07,696
There's also a lot
of drugs in there.
132
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,167
So, you're a robot?
133
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,260
You boys did good.
134
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,680
Nailed a major violator
of the laws of physics.
135
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,974
He's going down.
Cat's gonna testify.
136
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,686
Guys like this
really bust my uterus.
137
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,354
You're both getting a promotion.
138
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,314
Ever heard of
the future crimes division?
139
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:43,816
Tomorrow, I have.
140
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,413
Leela: Oops.
141
00:08:58,497 --> 00:08:59,998
I can't make out a thing.
142
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,835
Well, I guess you should
have had two eyes.
143
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,587
Just deliver the package,
and let's get out of here.
144
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:08,006
Screw that! I ain't
no delivery boy.
145
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,800
I'm the company chef.
146
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,344
You're the chef, are you?
147
00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:14,888
Then why don't you make us
something nice to eat?
148
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:22,688
Here's your damn peanut
butter and jelly sandwich!
149
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,572
Now that we can predict crimes
with 99% accuracy,
150
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,157
we can arrest most perpetrators
151
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,908
before they even
perpetrate anything.
152
00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:38,412
That's ridiculous. Only
horoscopes can predict the future.
153
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,955
That's what we used to think.
154
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,291
Until we invented this.
155
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,674
Slow down, baby.
156
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:54,386
The cybernetic oracle. The
ultimate man-machine hybrid.
157
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,597
Programmed with
every crime ever recorded,
158
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,265
and implanted
with the brain cells
159
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,017
of history's
greatest detectives.
160
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,894
We call him pickles.
161
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,480
On account of it's like
he's floating in a jar?
162
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,981
Exactly.
163
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:09,109
The oracle's visions are
recorded on these colored balls.
164
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,612
Green is larceny.
Black is fraud.
165
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,697
Red, homicide.
166
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,073
What's pink polka-dots?
167
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,366
Clown slaughter.
168
00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:18,494
It happens more often
than you'd think.
169
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,247
Floater in the bowl!
170
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,541
Red ball. Homicide!
171
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,626
Woo!
172
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,004
Suspect, male, 6'1".
173
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,256
Distinctive mustard stain
on his forehead.
174
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,593
My kajigger!
175
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,386
Victim, Hattie mcdoogal.
176
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,560
Look, the clock says 5:08.
177
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,229
It's 4:30 right now.
178
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:49,233
Uh-oh. We only have a half hour
to chill out before we head over.
179
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,862
Oh, Hattie.
180
00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:58,867
When I look into your one good
eye, I see a reflection of beauty.
181
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,077
Fresh.
182
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,788
Freeze, fool.
183
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,623
You're under arrest
for future murder!
184
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,706
Yeah?
185
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:09,753
You can't arrest me for future
murder after it's right now murder!
186
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,088
My kajigger!
187
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,389
So, he didn't
really want to marry me?
188
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:23,934
No. See, he knew you left
everything to your parakeets
189
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,060
in your will.
190
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,604
He was going to murder you,
marry your parakeets,
191
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,524
and then poison them with
an arsenic-laced cuttlebone.
192
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:33,777
Classic move. Aw, yeah.
193
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,031
Congratulations
on your big bust.
194
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,199
You, too.
195
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,493
Keep it up, and you boys
might just make detective.
196
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,661
Now, if you'll excuse me,
197
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,246
I got to go drop a big one.
198
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,957
Wow. I can't believe it.
199
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,877
One more promotion,
and I'll be a real detective,
200
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,671
like Sherlock Holmes
or speed buggy.
201
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,967
Eight pounds.
I'm naming her Burt.
202
00:11:57,092 --> 00:12:00,721
Mazel tov, chief. That's
a beautiful bathroom baby.
203
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,392
Ain't you heading home, Phil?
204
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,228
In a minute. I just want to
finish this paperless work.
205
00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:09,897
Don't stay up too late.
206
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,774
We got a lot of people
to shoot tomorrow.
207
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,990
Hello! Anyone?
208
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,659
There's never a cop around
when you need one.
209
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,288
Computer: Green ball. Larceny.
210
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,801
The thief seems to be
some sort of ghost.
211
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,511
Or is he?
212
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,350
Bender?
213
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,945
Item seven,
our corporate tax rate
214
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,113
remained unchanged
this fiscal year.
215
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:01,365
That's not funny.
216
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,951
It's not supposed to be funny.
It's a business meeting.
217
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,036
Things used to be funny
around here.
218
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,914
Noses were picked,
pants fell down.
219
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,290
So, what changed?
220
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:13,251
Only fry could say,
and he's gone.
221
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,964
Hey. Bender and Leela
are back from pandora.
222
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,298
How was it? Awful.
223
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:20,217
We had nothing to say
to each other,
224
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,387
so we had to listen to bender's
eagles album for 27 hours.
225
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,847
Beats talking to you,
witchy woman.
226
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,891
All: Hey, he's back!
227
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,577
Farnsworth: Look at you.
Leela: Hubba hubba.
228
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,145
Your pants go almost
all the way to your ankles.
229
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,855
Good afternoon, individuals.
230
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,859
Sir, would you mind
stepping out of the building?
231
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,943
Normally, when a cop
asks me that,
232
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,320
I spray whip cream
in his eyes and run away,
233
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:42,614
but to ditch
these losers, gladly.
234
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,993
Benden be honest with me.
235
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,536
Are you planning a big heist?
236
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,413
Usually, but not at the moment.
237
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,999
I only ask 'cause the oracle
thinks you're going to pull off
238
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:53,792
a major theft next Thursday.
239
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:56,086
Next Thursday, you say?
240
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,754
Pray, continue.
241
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,133
Are you familiar with
this particular location?
242
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,844
I may have a burgling
familiarity with it.
243
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,763
Does the word "Maltese"
mean anything to you?
244
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,348
The Maltese liquor,
245
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:11,435
the strongest and most
valuable malt liquor ever brewed!
246
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,396
And soon it will be mine.
247
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,190
I'm sorry. You were saying?
248
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:18,817
Bender, I'm only
telling you this
249
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,610
so you can avoid
committing the crime.
250
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:24,197
"Avoid committing the crime."
Got it.
251
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:26,700
You wrote "commit the crime!"
252
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,125
There's got to be
some way to stop bender.
253
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,890
Maybe something
in the oracle's prediction
254
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,129
that I missed before,
due to incompetence.
255
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,800
Wait. Who's
the trigger-happy jerk?
256
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,433
That's me! I recognize the face.
257
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,605
You shot me!
You miserable dingus!
258
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,150
No! No!
What have I will have done?
259
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,986
Man, that's heavy. Osmium heavy.
260
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,989
Are you going
to turn me in for concealing evidence?
261
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,742
Say what? You're
my partner, home fry.
262
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,244
Besides, I got my own secrets.
263
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:13,997
Anything big worth checking out?
264
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:17,292
Just your big
jangly Booty, baby.
265
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,294
See you tonight, toots.
266
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:23,924
You and the chief?
267
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,259
Mmm-hmm. We been getting it on.
268
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,220
Right there in your chair.
269
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,972
I'm like, "oh, baby! Oh, baby!"
270
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:35,352
And she's like, "yeah.
Yeah. Yeah."
271
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,943
I would never shoot bender.
Neveh
272
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,611
he taught me how to shave.
273
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,365
Revision ball.
274
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,117
By deciding not to shoot bender,
275
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,077
you created an alternate future.
276
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:57,290
I could never shoot you. Never!
You taught me how to shave.
277
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:58,458
See?
278
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,710
Just get out of here. Go!
279
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,048
Now, dig
the unintended consequences.
280
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,801
My friends,
let us share this booze
281
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,554
in a toast to
our dear friend, bender.
282
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,063
Oops.
283
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:24,401
The Maltese liquor
done destroyed their brains.
284
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,278
Fools should have known
it's fatal
285
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,947
for anyone but robots
and Billy Dee Williams.
286
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,243
So, if I don't shoot bender
all my other friends will die?
287
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,788
Fate is a freaky mistress.
Much like the chief.
288
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:37,914
Look out!
289
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,458
Something's not right.
I refuse to believe it.
290
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,918
Rewind.
291
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:51,928
Ooh!
292
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,681
Are you the calloused
working man I ordered?
293
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,266
Uh... sure.
294
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,269
In order to fix your leaky roof,
295
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,606
I'll need to spend two or three
hours down here in the wine cellar.
296
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,692
I'll be upstairs
putting batteries in things.
297
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:09,946
Whoa!
298
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,407
The Maltese liquor.
299
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:14,451
Forty ounces of heaven!
300
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,414
Here, boy. This is for you.
301
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,959
Ahh!
302
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:24,753
Hmm...
303
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,386
Invisible safe, eh?
304
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,103
Yeah, baby!
305
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,105
210 proof.
306
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,816
Fry: That's all the proof ineed.
307
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,360
Put the bottle back.
308
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,403
We both know I won't do that.
309
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,905
Either you're going to shoot me,
310
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,823
or I'm going to spray
whip cream in your eyes
311
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,533
and walk out of here
like a big shot.
312
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:56,868
Bender, no!
313
00:17:56,952 --> 00:17:59,305
You don't have to do something
just 'cause it's going to happen.
314
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,456
The future's making
a chump out of you.
315
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:04,751
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to
make a chump out of the future.
316
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,336
I'm not stealing anything!
317
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,506
Yes! I stopped the crime
without shooting you.
318
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,424
The oracle was wrong.
319
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:12,717
Pickles: Was I?
320
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,887
Pickles? Yes.
321
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,597
It is I, pickles.
322
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,140
I set the whole thing up.
323
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,976
Everyone will think
bender's the thief
324
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,853
while I make off
with that glorious brew.
325
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,730
Seriously? Why?
326
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:28,316
So I can kill
my human brain cells.
327
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,777
Do you have any idea
what a burden it is
328
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,113
to know everything
that will ever happen?
329
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,864
To never be surprised.
330
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:38,451
To know the punch line of
everyjoke hours in advance.
331
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,703
Like watching leno.
332
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:43,290
And that is why I faked
the prediction of this crime.
333
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,834
Nevertheless, stay with me here,
334
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:49,421
things will now happen
just as I fake predicted.
335
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:52,590
Bender, you're going
to hand me that bottle.
336
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:54,426
Not that one!
337
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:58,096
The real one, which you switched
when fry stupidly looked away.
338
00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,264
Hey.
339
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,100
Man. Why you got
to be so oracle-y?
340
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,979
Fry, you are going
to shoot bender,
341
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,356
killing him and
shattering the fake bottle,
342
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,567
just as I predicted.
343
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,444
Do it! It is your destiny!
344
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,738
Funny thing about destiny.
345
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,449
Sometimes fate has other plans.
346
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,409
Oh!
347
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,369
Nuts.
348
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:22,620
You shot me!
349
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,664
You miserable dingus!
350
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,751
And now the part
I didn't show you.
351
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:29,461
Oh!
352
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,088
Everyone will think
bender killed you,
353
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,924
and I walk away
with the goofy juice!
354
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,471
Ah!
355
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:42,515
Finally, blissful ignorance.
356
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:45,185
I have no idea
what's going to happen next.
357
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,428
Fry: Did you get that, chief?
358
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:54,069
We got it all from behind
this prediction-proof glass.
359
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:57,781
But how could you know
my prediction was fake?
360
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,867
I knew something was wrong,
but I couldn't put my finger on it.
361
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,494
Then, it hit me.
362
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,537
You showed bender
363
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,207
sharing the deadly booze
with our friends.
364
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,750
Bender would never share.
365
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,043
The very idea!
366
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,420
So we set up this little charade
367
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:15,507
based on an episode
of speed buggy.
368
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,967
With the added benefit
of me and the chief
369
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,470
being locked in a small room.
370
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,975
Shall we adjourn to the dungeon?
371
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,315
Well, I got my shield
for stopping bender.
372
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,861
But, then I got fired
for tipping off bender.
373
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:42,242
Fry, we have no idea
what you do around here,
374
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,160
but we desperately
need you back.
375
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,037
Really?
376
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:49,040
I don't suppose there's any
chance I could get a promotion.
377
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,917
Sure. What the heck?
378
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,336
I hereby promote you to
379
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:56,005
execufive delivery boy.
380
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:57,549
Execufive?
381
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,092
It's a meaningless title.
382
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:02,554
But it helps insecure people
feel better about themselves.
383
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:05,598
I feel better about myself!
384
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,047
English - us - psdh
26027
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