All language subtitles for Lady.Day.At.Emersons.Bar.Grill.2016.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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- [Announcer] Tonight
presenting on the little stage,

Miss Billie, God bless the
child what God is on, Holiday.

(clapping)

♫ All I know

♫ Is I'm in love with you

♫ Even though you said that we are through

♫ I know without your love

♫ I just can't go on

♫ I wonder where our love has gone

♫ Oh what did I do

♫ And what did I say

♫ Ever could lead you to treat me this way

♫ If I've been untrue

♫ I'm willing to pay

♫ And darling if that's not enough

♫ I'll do anything you say

♫ So darling please wherever you may be

♫ Hear my plea and hurry home to me

♫ I know without your love

♫ I just can't go on

♫ I wonder where our love has gone

(clapping)

♫ Maybe he's not much just another man

♫ Doing what he can

♫ But what does she care
when a woman loves a man

♫ She'll just string along
through thick and thin

♫ Till his ship comes in

♫ It's always that way
when a woman loves a man

♫ She'll be the first one to praise him

♫ When he's going strong

♫ The last one to blame
him when everything's wrong

♫ It's such a one sided
game that they play

♫ But women are funny that way

♫ Tell her she's a fool

♫ She'll say yes I know but I love him so

♫ And that's how it goes

♫ When a woman loves a man

♫ Yeah

♫ She'll be the first one to praise him

♫ When he's going to strong

♫ The last one to blame
him when everything's wrong

♫ It's such a one sided
game that they play

♫ But women are funny that way

♫ Tell her she's a fool

♫ She'll say yes I know but I love him so

♫ And that's how it goes
when a woman loves a man

♫ And, that's how it goes
when a woman loves a man

(clapping)

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I love it.

You all know that.

I love it.

This makes me feel good.

You know I'm even glad
to be back in Philly,

and that's saying
something for me, you know?

Philly's always been
the right size for me.

I used to say when I
die I don't care if I go

to heaven or hell as long
as it ain't in Philly.

But, no, no, I love being
back here in the city.

I love it.

It's great.

Em and me, we's old drinking
buddies, ain't we Em?

- [Em] Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

We go back to the bad old days.

Em give me these here flowers.

You know I used to
couldn't sing unless I had

flowers in my damn head.

And, they had to be gardenias.

And, Em you never forgot that no matter

how tough things got.

So every time I come to Philly Em have

a box of 'em for me right
over there behind the bar.

But, I didn't put 'em on tonight, Em

cause I'm the new Billie now,
and I don't need flowers.

DJs on the radio, they always
talk about the new Billie

as opposed to the old Billie.

They saying I should change
my name to Lady Yesterday.

(laughing)

What they want's the old
Billy, but that's a crock.

There ain't nobody getting any younger

at least ways nobody I know.

Shit, but I don't care.

They got to make a living too, you know?

I just want to sing that's all.

But, they won't let me sing
in the clubs in New York, see.

And, singing in a nice,
small club like this

there's nothing like it.

Not all the big bands, you know?

And, nothing's so nice as this.

Just like I was home, you
know, and all y'all was

my friends, you know what I mean?

Yes, I love to sing.

Singing is living for me.

But, they won't let me.

(piano music)

(laughing)

I want to introduce my accompanist.

This is Mr. Jimmy Powers at the piano.

(clapping)

You know a singer's accompanist is home,

is where she finds all the fields to roam

through the song in, see?

And, that's why Jimmy's
so important to me.

He's my main man, ain't ya Jimmy?

(laughing)

He's shy.

Hey we've been together a long time,

and this week's our anniversary.

It's five damn months.

He takes care of me.

He makes sure I got my
shoes on the right foot

and my music and my dress is on straight,

all that damn shit.

He keeps me happy.

He fixes things for me so it's okay

when they get so bad.

Don't ya Jimmy?

He give me a little
moonlight when I need it.

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do to you

♫ You're in love

♫ Your hearts are fluttering all day long

♫ You only stutter cause your poor tongue

♫ Just will not utter the words

♫ I love you

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do

♫ Wait awhile till a little moonbeam

♫ Comes peeping through

♫ You'll get bold

♫ You can't resist him

♫ And all you'll say
when you have kissed him

♫ Is oh what a little moonlight can do

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do to you

♫ You're in love

♫ Your hearts are fluttering all day long

♫ You only stutter cause your quiet tongue

♫ Just will not attack
the words I love you

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do

♫ Wait awhile till a little moonbeam

♫ Comes peeping through

♫ You'll get bold

♫ You can't resist him

♫ And all you'll say
when you have kissed him

♫ Is oh

♫ Oh

♫ Oh

(laughing)

♫ What a little moonlight can do right now

(clapping)

Ain't that the truth?

(clapping)

Jimmy gives me my
moonlight when I need it,

don't you Jimmy?

Hey Jimmy why you sitting
over there in the dark?

He's not mad you know he's just shy.

He just don't want to be
seen with an old jailbird.

No, no, I'm kidding.

You see we got this contract which say

I got to sing so many songs a night.

Certain ones gotta be
songs y'all wanna hear

like Strange Fruit, and
God Bless the Child,

and all that damn shit.

I am not like that, see.

I got to sing the way I feel.

I got to roam around
awhile and find the song

or more like let the song find me.

And, that's why Jimmy's so good.

Jimmy keeps me in line.

He makes sure I sing all
the numbers I'm supposed to

before I get too far juiced, you know.

(laughing)

What was that last year,
no it was the year before.

It was spring of '57,
and I done sung all night

in this little club outside Baltimore.

That's my old hometown.

And, then some horse's butt tell me

he not paying me nothing
cause I didn't sing

God Bless the Child or some
damn shit like that, you know?

And, I didn't because of my mom.

Y'all know I wrote that damn song for her.

And, that night just happened to be

the same date as the day she died.

And, I flat ass couldn't sing it.

Well in this country,
honey, you got to move

on your pocket book
instead of your feelings,

or you gonna find yourself up shit creek

without no paddle.

(laughing)

I done sung once in this little club

up in Harlem for six, seven hours.

And, they told me my drinks
was all they was paying me.

But, that's right after I
come out of prison, you know?

And, wasn't even a
white man what did that.

That's why it's so nice
singing here at Em's again.

Em's home to me.

We old drinking buddies, ain't we Em.

- [Em] Yeah!

- Yes, yes.

Em married the sweetest bitch I ever met,

well next to The Duchess.

And, that was my mom.

♫ I say I'll move the mountains

♫ And I'll move the mountains

♫ If he wants them out of the way

♫ Crazy he calls me

♫ Sure I'm crazy

♫ Crazy in love I'd say

You know I'm not supposed to tell it,

but Jimmy and me we's gonna get married

right after my next divorce comes through.

Ain't we Jimmy?

(audience laughing)

(laughing)

He don't want me telling nobody.

No, no, no you see all I ever wanted

was a beautiful home and some kids.

I love kids.

And, I never had any, not one.

♫ Like the wind that shakes the bough

♫ He moves me with a smile

♫ The difficult I'll do right now

♫ The impossible will take a little while

♫ I say I'll care forever,
and I mean forever

♫ If I have to hold up the sky

♫ Crazy he calls me

♫ Sure I'm crazy

♫ Crazy in love

♫ Am I

(clapping)

Did you all know that I want lots of kids.

You know if only I
could've had me some kids,

I never would've gotten in no trouble.

I'm sure of it, you know.

That's what I told Sonny.

Sonny Monore, he was my first love.

He wasn't my best, but he was my first.

Oh Lord, he was the
worst one I ever had too.

Well you see, we were married,
but he didn't want no kids.

♫ Crazy he call me

Well Sonny don't know Emmerson's.

Do you, Sunny?

(laughing)

I mean Jimmy.

That's Jimmy.

He don't know, do he, Em?

- [Em] No.

- No, no, they used to be
hanging from the rafters

in this place to see
me back in those days.

Oh yes, yes, I was hot shit.

(laughing)

See the DJs, they always
saying I'm not the same

Lady Day.

But, what they don't
know is you can only get

to where you're at by
way of where you've been.

It don't matter if it's good or bad.

You wouldn't be who or what you are now

if it weren't for who
or what you was then.

You see I know who I am now
is because of who I was then.

And, what I am and what was
that come from Louis's feeling

and Bessie Smith's big sound.

Oh longest time imaginable
that's all I was

just this longing.

Just walking around with two legs.

When I was a stupid ass
kid back in Baltimore,

I used to scrub the steps
of this local fancy house

run by this big ass
woman named Alice Dean.

And, she wore these red velvet hats

with the bird of paradise
feathers in 'em, you know?

And, so I wanted to buy one
of them hats for The Duchess.

That's my mom.

But, what I didn't know was that them hats

was a kind of walking
advertisement for bitches

who were selling it.

(laughing)

Well mom didn't know neither.

She wasn't too much older than me,

and she wasn't a hell of
a lot smarter neither.

She only got to be about five feet tall

and only weighed 80 pounds
while I was over 200 pounds

by the time I was 12.

So we were more like pals, like sisters.

But, at Miss Dean's house I got to play

all them records till I
practically wore them all out.

And, on the damn old, (snapping)

the wind up Victrola.

That's the only kind they
had anywhere in those days.

You know that was around 1922, 1923.

You see at Miss Dean's
Parlor and Entertainment

Establishment, the girls
there were half colored.

Whore houses, sporting
houses as they was called.

That's the only place where
whites and coloreds could meet.

They sure couldn't meet in no church.

(laughing)

And, all them bitches
at Miss Dean's cathouse

had all these Louis Armstrong
and Bessie Smith records.

And, I was just gassing my
fat ass out playing them.

That's when I started
to sing was listening

to all them records especially Pops.

That's what we called
Louis Armstrong, you know?

We called him Pops.

And, he'd sing.

(singing like Louis Armstrong)

And, I used to wonder why
he didn't sing any words.

(laughing)

But, he had the most beautiful feeling,

and I wanted that feeling.

I also wanted Bessie Smith's big sound.

But, my voice it's not big like that.

So between the two of them I
sort of got Billie Holiday.

But, Pops Armstrong and Bessie Smith

on the wind up Victrola, they
sort of mom and popped me.

(piano music)

No, don't start that shit.

We're not singing that shit right now.

We're not doing that shit.

These here are my friends now.

Let's do something else, come on.

Can't we do something else.

Get something else in there.

(piano music)

(banging)

Jimmy's scared

(laughing)

that I'm gonna get on some crying jag.

I'm not, Jimmmy.

I'm happy, see?

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do.

Relax Jimmy, I'm okay.

I'm okay.

But, I'm gonna be needing
a little moonlight

before too long, so
don't get your hopes up.

(laughing)

That does what's got Jimmy so upset.

He worries about me.

He gets so pissed with me.

You know why?

Because he thinks I'm better than he is

cause I'm a star, and I got to behave

in some sort of unnatural way or ways

that is naturally superior.

Shit, I know that ain't
so, and I told him that.

I didn't travel to the South for nothing.

I know nobody's better than anybody else

unless you colored.

Then you better than everybody.

(laughing)

I'm kidding.

I knew a nice white person once, I did.

No, no, no they just the
same as us only meaner

that's all.

(laughing)

No, no, no, no honey, honey, we all put

on our drawers the same
way, one leg at a time.

No, the only main
difference between the ofays

and us colored is all our
black is on the outside.

Nobody's saying they better than you.

That don't make it so.

No way Jose, there is nobody that's better

than anybody else unless
you think they are.

I been through all that shit.

Every nigger who's ever
been called a fucking nigger

knows that.

We've been through all of it, you know?

We've all been.

Yes, come give me your
hand, I appreciate it.

Your mama raised you right.

Ain't we all been through all of it.

Anybody got, y'all ain't got none.

Baby, can I have one of those?

Just one.

I just want the one.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Jimmy, why you sitting
up there in the dark?

How can he play in the dark?

I can't.

I need light, you know, music.

Music is life for me.

I need a light.

You gonna light that for me, baby.

Yeah, here's a nice
white person right here.

(laughing)

Hey Jimmy, why don't you
give us a Bessie number?

Pigfoot.

Why don't you give us Pigfoot

- Pigfoot in C.

- Yeah, Pigfoot in C, what he said.

I thank you, baby, I thank you.

I'll pay you back.

Yeah I will.

♫ Up in Harlem every Saturday night

♫ When the highbrows get
together, it's just too right

♫ They all congregate at the all night hop

♫ And, what they do oh bop boo dop

♫ Oh Hannah Brown from way cross town

♫ Gets full of coin and
starts breaking 'em down

♫ And at the break of day

♫ You can hear old Hannah say

♫ Give me a pigfoot and a bottle of beer

♫ Send me again I don't care

♫ I feel like I just wanna shout

♫ Give the piano player a drink
because it's knocking me out

♫ He's got rhythm, yeah
when he stomps his feet

♫ He moves me right up to sleep

♫ Check all your razors and your guns

♫ We're gonna be arrested
when the wagon comes

♫ Give me a pigfoot and a bottle of beer

♫ Send me cause I don't care

♫ Give me Pig

Hey do this time

♫ Blah, blah, la, la, la, blah

♫ And a bottle of beer

(clapping)

I'd say I love them damn pig feet.

My mom, The Duchess, she
taught me how to cook

and that was in the early '30s.

And, Bessie Smith, she was
making all her records then too.

In fact Bessie Smith made her last set

of records just three days
before I cut my first.

I'm not a blues singer like
Bessie, no I'm not, never was.

I'm a jazz singer.

(laughing)

What I do, I do the blues feeling,

but I do it with a jazz beat, you know?

When I first started singing
with the dance bands,

nobody even paid attention to the singer.

The vocalist wasn't important, you know?

It was the band, that was everything.

I only got to sing one
chorus, wasn't even the first.

Horns had that.

That's right.

Towards the end of the '30s,
I started my own damn band

so that I could sing the lyrics.

You know I wanted to sing.

I had to.

You know singing has always
been the best part of living

to me.

But, they wouldn't let
us colored folk record

the first or the second rated tunes now.

What the big ass record companies
thought was gonna be hits,

they saved those for the grays.

That's the white folks
in case y'all wondering.

(laughing)

But, that's why Bessie
Smith made all them records

that nobody ever heard of before

because her fat old ass was too black

to sing any ofay song.

She sang, what's the tune?

Honey, honey there, honey.

Will you find me a key, baby?

I can't find no key.

Find me a key.

(piano music)

♫ Honey, there's a funny feeling

♫ Round my heart

♫ And, it's gonna drive your mama mad.

What key?

- D flat.

- De flat.

♫ It must be something
they call the Cuban doll

♫ Its when your mama, angel child

Scoot over, baby.

♫ I went to see the doctor

♫ The other day

♫ He said I's well as well could be

♫ But I said, doctor, you don't know

♫ What's worrying me

Come y'all play, come on.

♫ I wanna be somebody's baby doll

♫ So I can get my loving all the time

♫ I wanna be somebody's baby doll

♫ So I can ease my mind.

Stop time.

♫ He can be ugly

♫ He can be black

♫ As long as he gives me
the rock, and ball, and Jack

(laughing)

♫ Baby doll so I can get
my loving all the time

♫ I mean to get my loving all the time

(clapping)

Yes.

Holiday and Bessie together.

Oh I tell you.

Bessie Smith, she'd sing shit like that.

Bessie, she was something else.

I better watch myself here.

They got what's called
the parole officers,

and if they see me having
myself too good a time,

they libel to think I done broke mine.

And, if that happens, these
dudes, they jump on me

quicker than I don't know what.

You can always spot 'em too.

They always come to one of
the late shows like this.

And, they always come in late.

And, they want to make sure

that I'm not having too much fun.

Well cause colored folk,
we can't have too much fun.

We might start getting
too uppity or something.

So they always come in
late, and they always white.

I don't think any colored
folk work for the government.

Well maybe not enough of us
voted for Mr. Eisenhower.

Anyway.

Always late, always white,
and they always wear

these damn white socks.

You watch 'em later when they come in.

You see if they don't.

I don't know why that is.

Maybe there's a government resolution

against colored socks, you know?

(laughing)

Maybe they scared.

Colored folks, colored socks.

Anyway if I all of a sudden start singing

baby get lost, you know they're here.

You don't know what'll happen.

Do they, Jimmy?

Anything can happen, can't it Jimmy?

We can make it a big shitty party

and all get funky together.

This is gonna be Pigfoot again.

♫ Bottle of beer

♫ Send me cause

I'll tell you being
arrested in this country

that's a colored folk tradition.

You know ever since the
white folk set us free,

they don't know what to do with us

but to lock us back up.

That's why I don't never come to Philly

cause every single time
I done come to Philly,

what?

What?

Y'all see Jimmy over here
giving me the fish eye?

(laughing)

I guess I better cut
some of this shit out.

Pay attention to the man.

This is not my fault, Jimmy.

Being back here in
Philly, and you knew it.

Oh yes, you knew it when
you set this whole thing up.

You see I don't get on too well in Philly

cause all the men with the blue suits

and the brass buttons
and the damn white socks,

they always busting my ass
whenever they come here.

I been arrested all over this country.

But, Philly that's the
only place ever want

to make me a candidate
for federal housing.

(piano music)

All right.

Jimmy wants me to sing
a tune for y'all now

that I wrote for my mom, The Duchess.

She wasn't no real
duchess cause we aint got

no real colored duchesses
at least not in this world

anyway.

But, my good buddy Pres.

Stop it.

That's Lester Young on the tenor sax.

I called him Pres because to me

he was the president of saxophone players.

Well

(laughing)

Pres called my mom, The
Duchess, he said since I was

Lady Day, and he give me that name.

Well we just took a time
for naming everybody.

He named me, and I named
him, and he named my mom.

He said mom of a lady got to be a duchess.

Well mom just loved that.

Well she never had liked her name

which was Sadie Fagan,
so can you blame her?

And, I was born Eleanora
Fagan, so you can see

right away what we was up against.

She run an open house and a kitchen

for every damn down and out
somebody you ever did meet.

And, you didn't have to
be anybody to be somebody

to The Duchess.

Oh no, no, she was the soul of generosity

except this one time
when Sonny Monroe and me,

we were down.

We just about gone for the count,

and I asked The Duchess for some help,

and she tell me no.

After all the help I give
her opening her restaurant

and all that, she said no.

Not as long as I was with Sunny she said.

Oh we was bad too.

We needed help in the worst way.

We needed a little
moonlight or a moonbeam,

and The Duchess said no.

She said Sonny Monroe
is the only colored man

she ever met who was blacker on the inside

than he was on the out.

She said the stuff that
he was on had stolen

her baby Billie, and my
sweet soul was not my own.

She was right.

Oh yes, yes, The Duchess, always right.

And, so we moved out, Sonny Monroe and me.

Go on.

(piano music)

And, I wrote her this tune,
and it always made her mad

cause she knew I wrote it for her.

Oh she knew.

♫ Them that's got shall have

♫ Them that's not shall lose

♫ So the Bible said, and it still is news

♫ Mama may have

♫ Papa may have

♫ But God bless the
child that's got his own

♫ That got his own

♫ Yes, the strong get some more

♫ While the weak ones fade

♫ Empty pockets don't ever make the grade

♫ Mama may have

♫ Papa may have

♫ But, God bless the
child that's got his own

♫ That's got his own

♫ Money you've got lots of friends

♫ They're crowding round your door

♫ When you're gone and spending ends

♫ They don't come no more

♫ Rich relations give

♫ Crust of bread and such

♫ You can help yourself

♫ But don't take too much

♫ Mama may have

♫ Papa may have

♫ But God bless the
child that's got his own

♫ That's got his own

♫ Money you've got lots of friends

♫ They're crowding round your door

♫ When you're gone and spending ends

♫ They don't come no more

♫ Rich relations give

♫ Crust of bread and such

♫ You can help yourself

♫ But don't take too much

♫ Mama may have,

♫ Papa may have

♫ But, God bless the
child that's got his own

♫ That's got his own

♫ He just don't worry bout nothing

♫ Cause he's got his own

♫ Yes he's got his own

(clapping)

That was for my mom, you know The Duchess

because I love her still
even if she is dead

and tell me no.

What'd you do with my drink?

What'd you motherfuckers do with my drink?

Where's my drink?

I had it right here.

What?

- You left it out there.

- I left it out there.

I left my drink out there?

Oh honey.

(laughing)

Did you know that nobody
but me ever liked Sonny?

Well you know he was my first love.

Baby, can you help me?

I appreciate it.

He was my first love, you
know and my worst love.

He was just like a little boy.

You know like a man child
all scared and helpless,

but he didn't mean bad,
not in his heart, no.

I was all he had.

And, that's why I had to stop
seeing my best buddy, Pres,

you know cause Pres tried
to get me off the stuff.

Baby, can I have my drink?

Thank you, you precious.

I appreciate it.

You know Pres said that
Sonny Monroe were no good.

He said that the stuff that he was on

would eat up your life.

I didn't know about heroine
and all that shit, you know?

Not before Sonny.

Well not really.

No.

Dear.

The Duchess used to
say that my best talent

was for picking the
rottenest apple in the bunch.

And, poor black skinny little Sonny Monroe

well he just took the cake for her.

She never had trouble with
no man except for pop,

and one longshoreman in
Baltimore after she and pop

broke up.

But, then the longshoreman died.

And, after that she didn't
want to have nothing to do

with any man especially none of mine.

Did you know that The
Duchess's granny was a slave?

She was owned body and soul by
this big red head Irish dude

that owned a plantation, you know?

This is my great granny, see.

She had 16 kids by that
man, and that's where we got

the name Fagan.

Oh I loved that old woman.

(laughing)

I used to sleep with her
every night back in Baltimore

when I was around eight or
nine, and she more like 96.

And, she used to wrap her
skinny arms around me so tight

like she was scared of the
dark or sleeping by herself.

We woke up one morning, she
and me, and she was dead.

And, the neighbors had to come

cause I'm screaming the whole house down.

They had to take me to
the hospital for a month.

Look I love that old
woman, but she was dead

and spooking me out.

I never forgot that.

That and being raped when I was 10.

That was almost the worst
thing that ever happened to me.

They wasn't, but they come damn close.

So whenever The Duchess
would get too uppity with me,

I just used to say, "How white of you,"

(laughing)

cause she had all this white blood of you

cause this Irish dude being her granddad.

Oh that made her hopping mad.

Let's see.

You know mom married pop
when she was only 16,

and pop was only 18, and I was only three.

(laughing)

Pop died in 1937.

That's the same year as Bessie Smith.

And, Pop played guitar.

He played for McKeeny's Cotton Pickers

and (snapping) Fletcher
Henderson's touring band,

but what pop wanted to do was sing.

But, before he could do
that, he got called off

to fight in the first World War.

Y'all know that one.

That's the war they said
that's gonna be the one

to end all wars.

But, only thing it seemed to
end was pop's singing career

cause his lungs they got so
burned out by all the gas

in the trenches in France, you know?

So I never heard pop
sing, but The Duchess said

that before the war, he
had the sweetest sound

you ever wanna hear on a man.

And, that's what killed him too.

That and being colored
just like Bessie Smith.

Well he didn't get his
arm cutoff in no car crash

and bleed to death like
Bessie before they find

a hospital to admit coloreds, you know.

It was just the same really.

Because pop's lungs being so bad,

a chest cold for pop was
terrible, and while he was

traveling with the band down in Texas,

he got this little chest cold.

And, they couldn't find no
doctors to treat no colored.

Of course there weren't no
such thing as a colored doctor.

By the time they got him
to the veteran's hospital

in Dallas which had to take him

because he was a veteran
even if he was colored.

It was

too late.

Anyhow.

And, I was singing at the
time at this little club

up in Harlem at this little
club called the Hot-Cha bar.

And, this phone call come
in for Miss Eleanora,

Billie Holiday, Fagan, you
know which is sort of my name.

You know cause well I
was born Eleanora Fagan,

and I use Billie because of Billie Dove.

Do you all know her?

She was my favorite movie star, and I seen

all her pictures.

And, I wore my hair like hers.

So I said yes into this wall phone.

They had all these numbers
and people's initials

and all that shit, you
know scratched into it.

And, I said, yes this is me.

And, then some voice I never
heard before from somewhere

faraway said, "Your daddy's dead.

"What do you want done with the remains?"

Just like that.

What did I want done with the remains?

Well I didn't say anything.

I just hung up.

Still and quiet, they must've
thought it was a disconnect,

and I just went right back
on stage to sing because,

well because...

(piano music)

♫ And every time I pass

♫ I see myself in the looking glass

♫ I tip my hat and say

♫ How do you do you fool
throwing your life away

♫ I'm acting gay

♫ I'm acting proud

♫ And every time I see you in a crowd

♫ I just wonder

♫ Shout out loud

♫ I'm just fooling

Let's sing

Somebody's on my mind.

- Somebody's on my mind.

- Yeah come on, y'all know this.

(piano music)

♫ Somebody's on my mind

♫ Like an old sweet song, the lasting kind

♫ Somebody's on my mind

♫ I'm walking on clouds on silver line

♫ To dream my dream

I ain't doing too good, Jimmy.

- You doing all right, Lady Day.

- No, no Jimmy I need a little help.

- No, don't say that.

Don't say that.

Lady Day, you're doing fine.

- Jimmy, I done something,

(whispering)

you got to give me my help now.

- You doing fine.

You doing fine, Lady Day.

How 'bout some good time sauce?

How 'bout Easy living?

Let's try it.

(jazz music)

Come on Lady Day, here we go.

Living for you, come on.

♫ Living for you

Lady Day

♫ Is easy living

Lady Day

♫ Easy to live when you're in love

Lady Day

♫ I'm so in love

Lady Day.

♫ There's nothing in life but you

Come on, Lady.

- What's the next one?

- Never regret.

- What?

- Never regret.

- Give it to me, Jimmy.

- The years I'm giving.

- I don't know it.

I don't know this tune.

I don't know it.

What's the word?

Give me a word.

- I'm happy to do whatever I do for you.

Here we go, come on.

For you, here we go.

For you.

Come on.

♫ Maybe I'm a fool, but it's fun

♫ Wave of your hand

♫ Darling it's grand

♫ They just don't understand

♫ Living for you is easy living

♫ It's to live when you're in love

♫ I'm so in love

♫ There's nothing in life but you

♫ For you maybe I'm a fool but it's fun

♫ People say you rule me
with one wave of your hand

♫ Darling it's grand

♫ They just don't understand

♫ Living for you is easy living

♫ It's easy to live when you're in love

♫ I'm so in love

♫ There's nothing in life but you

(clapping)

Well it's easy living.

That's just like the
time when I was singing

with Artie's band.

You all know Artie Shaw?

Do you know Artie?

Yes, yes, it's Artie Shaw, right?

We toured, see.

We started out in Boston, and
it was all downhill from that.

Well because in Boston,
I had to sit on the bus

till it was time to sing my numbers

because they didn't want no
black bitch sitting up there

on the bandstand with all
the fellas in the band

which was all white, see?

So you can imagine when
we got down to Virginia

and North and South Carolina,
Georgia, a ways then.

We was in this one fancy restaurant.

We was outside of Birmingham,
and Artie and those boys,

they couldn't have been
sweeter or squarer with me.

Places where they wouldn't let me walk

in the front door, none of
'em used the front door.

And, if I had to sit out
in the kitchen to get

some eats, the whole bunch
of 'em they'd sit out there

with me.

You know that always
pissed off all them ofays

right in the places.

So we's all sitting out in the kitchen

trying to get some eats.

And, all the colored help,
they all running around us

trying to do their job just
like we wasn't even there.

And, honey it was hot
as hell in that kitchen.

This treatment wasn't for free.

Oh no now we paying top price for this

just like we sitting out
front with all the grays.

But, we was in the
kitchen cause Artie Shaw

had this black bitch named
Billie Holiday in the troupe.

So everything go as smooth as silk

till I realize all of a sudden
I got to use the bathroom

in the worst way.

I mean my kidneys was about to bust

and flow me right in the main dining room.

And, I knew damn well
they did not want that.

So I asked this colored
dude who looked like

he might have some sense
where the bathroom was.

And, he asked me why I wanted to know?

(laughing)

Anyway while I was explaining to him

that it wasn't to powder
my nose if that was

what was concerning him, you know?

This was for a more
essential purpose than that.

When this blonde bitch comes
from the main dining room

into the kitchen.

Now somebody must've
heard me asking this dude

and run to get her to bring
into the conversation.

This was the maitresse D who didn't let me

in the main dining room to begin with.

(laughing)

She saunters up, real big, and she's still

clutching all these red
plush menus underneath

her left tit, and she says, "What seems

"to be the trouble?"

And, I look at her like where
the fuck did she come from?

(laughing)

And, I said, "Well the trouble seems to be

"that this dude can't
answer a simple question."

So then I knew somebody had run to get her

to bring into this conversation.

Cause she says, "I'm sorry
Miss Day, but we don't have

"toilets for the colored."

And, I said listen, honey,
you must have me confused.

I am not Doris Day.

I am Billie Holiday.

Lots of folks have said
that she and me resembles

each other, but this is the first time

I know of where someone was talking to one

and thought they was talking to the other.

(laughing)

So then she shifts her
weight around real slow

in this tight black
sequined dress she wear

with high heeled sequined shoes to match.

And, she says, "We didn't
want you coming here

"to start with.

"We don't allow colored here.

"We only let you in because Mr. Shaw

"agreed to pay twice
as much for all of you

"if we let you eat out
here in our kitchen.

"Otherwise, you wouldn't be here.

"Now if Mr. Shaw wants to do that,

"that's his business, but he didn't say

"anything about letting you use the phone,

"or the bar, or the dinning
room, or the men's toilet.

"And, I'm not gonna let you do that."

And, I said, "Listen, Mr.
Shaw has been very sweet.

"He's done a lot of real
nice things like this for me,

"and I appreciate it.

"But, there is one thing
I know of that he can't do

"for me, and that's piss.

"Now what do you suggest I
do about this situation?"

So then she gives me
that sweet little smile.

She's still clutching
her menus, and she says,

"Why don't you sit on it?"

I was so shocked.

I just look at her for a
minute, and then I said,

"No, I think I'll let you do that."

And, then I cut loose the biggest deluge

across them sequin shoes.

You've never seen a
grown woman leap so high

in the air as she did.

(clapping)

She's screeching.

She's dropping menus.

And, then all the boys in the band,

they all jumping up and
down, hooting and hollering

just like we won the second
coming of the Civil War.

And, I assure you that
was the high and the low

of the whole tour for me.

After all the boys in the
band, they was all saying

silly kind of shit like,
"Oh you better watch out

"for Billie.

"Yes, yes, she got a secret weapon.

"She'll spoil your shoes
quicker than you can pay

"to get 'em polished."

And, silly shit like that.

I loved them.

They was powerless to this
black bitch, you know?

I'll never forget it.

(piano music)

♫ Southern trees bear strange fruit

♫ Blood on the leaves
and blood at the root

♫ Black bodies swinging
in the silent breeze

♫ Strange fruit hanging
from the poplar trees

♫ Pastoral scene of the gallant South

♫ The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth

♫ Scent of magnolia sweet and fresh

♫ Then the sudden of burning flesh

♫ Here is a fruit for the crows to pluck

♫ For the rain to gather

♫ For the wind to suck

♫ For the sun to rot

♫ For the tree to drop

♫ Here is a strange and bitter crop

(clapping)

It's bad again, Jimmy.

It's real bad.

I want my flowers?

- Lady Day, here are your flowers.

- No, no, not a Sonny's

(muttering)

- Look over here.

Lady, here your flowers.

- [Billie] I'm done singing this shit

without my damn flowers.

- Ladies and gentlemen, Lady'll be back.

It's been kind of a long day for Lady.

See, we drove down here
early this afternoon

all the way from New York City.

She's had a little touch of something,

so we had the doctor backstage earlier,

and he's waiting there now.

Nothing serious, nothing serious.

I'm sure she'll be back after we take

this little break.

Now before I go, if you wouldn't mind

and for your entertainment,
all you good people here

at Emerson's tonight, I'd like to play

a new number for you,
one the Mr. Al Hibler

has made (speaking in a foreign
language) on the charts.

(jazz music)

(clapping)

Thank you, thank you so much.

Now I'll take a little break right here

and see what the doctor
has to say about Lady Day.

And, I'm sure we'll both be back out here

in no time at all to
sing and play for all you

good people here at the
very heart of Philadelphia's

nightlife, Emerson's Bar and Grill.

♫ If I should take a notion

♫ To jump into the ocean

♫ It ain't nobody's business if I do

♫ If I go to church on Sunday

♫ The cabaret all day Monday

♫ Ain't nobody's business if I do

♫ If my man ain't got no money

♫ And, I say take all mine honey

♫ Ain't nobody's business if I do

What you looking at?

♫ If I give him

Would you say hi?

♫ My last nickel

♫ And it leaves me in a pickle

♫ Ain't nobody's business if I do

♫ Well there ain't nothing I can do

♫ Or nothing I can say

♫ And folks don't criticize me

♫ I ain't going to do

(laughing)

♫ No matter what you say

♫ I won't call no copper

♫ If I'm beat up by my

♫ Pop

♫ Ain't nobody's business if I do

♫ Nobody's business

♫ Nobody's business

♫ Nobody's business if I do

(clapping)

Where's my glass?

(clapping)

(laughing)

(muttering)

- [Jimmy] Lady Day?

Lady?

- Yes, yes, yes.

- I was telling these good folks

we'll take a little
short break and come back

after the doctor's
checked out how you feel.

- Sonny, don't you pull
that phony doctor shit.

These are my friends here.

Now y'all know I ain't sick.

I want y'all to meet Pepi.

This is my baby, isn't he a cutie?

Isn't he a sweetie?

Pepi is my pal.

This is the best pal this bitch every had.

He's the most important
member of our troupe now.

He's been with me through thick and thin.

He normally stays out
there in the dressing room

while I'm up here singing
cause he don't wanna hear

me sing them sad songs.

You know he don't want to hear me sing.

But, I am not sad no more, am I Pepi?

Hey Sonny,

where's the song I sing for Pepi?

I wanna sing that song.

It's the one I sing for Pepi.

The one I sing for him
cause he's so pretty.

Yes, you are.

Hey Sonny, what'd you do with my flowers?

- Lady Day.

- Sonny, I tell you I
ain't gonna sing this shit

without my damn flowers.

- We might wanna take a little
short break right about now

okay?

(whispering)

It's all right.

It's okay.

Here are your flowers.

There you go.

Good girl.

- Shush!

When I first got out of the slammer,

a bunch of friends of
mine they set it up for me

so I could sing at Carnegie Hall.

You all know where all
the long haired singers

in the orchestra and all that shit play.

And, I had never sung like
that in a place before.

I didn't know if colored
folk could buy a ticket

let alone stand up on stage and sing.

And, I got so nervous before
I first went out there

that my knees started knocking together.

I had this long dress on all
the way down to the floor,

so you couldn't see my legs,
but my knees they were shaking

so bad, people didn't know if
I was going to sing or dance.

(laughing)

But, I did, I did.

I did it, and it was wonderful.

Yes, it was.

It was wonderful.

Where's Sonny?

Sonny, you over there?

Oh there he is.

He's sitting in the dark.

He's sitting up there in the dark.

- It's Jimmy, Lady.

- Yes.

- [Jimmy] Jimmy Powers
tickling these old ivories.

- Yes baby, I know it is.

- Why don't you go backstage with Pepi,

take a little short break while
I entertain these good folks

with a few of the old dance tunes?

- Dance?

Sonny I ain't ever been no dancer.

You know that.

Not since I was 15.

I was working in this
old house up in Harlem

that was run by this white
bitch named Florence Williams.

Now mom had took me there to be a maid,

but I knew just as soon as I took

one look at them lampshades
and what they call

a chaise lounge.

I knew what my duties was gonna be,

but I didn't say anything to mom

because what she really thought
that this bitch Florence

wanted was a maid.

So I got the job, and I did good too

because I was the only
colored bitch in the place.

But, I couldn't stand it.

It drove me crazy, and this one dude,

he hurt me so bad I bled
solid for a week, you know?

And, so I just drank
myself right out of there.

And, I hit everyplace on Seventh Avenue

between 139th and 133rd Street
looking for work, you know?

And, I said I'm gonna drag
myself all the way down

to the Battery and jump
in if nobody hire me.

When I got to this place
called Pod's and Jerry's,

and they had this sign out in the window

that said dancer wanted.

So I went in, and I said,
"I am a great dancer,

"and I want the job."

(laughing)

I must've looked a sight because I was

over 200 pounds, you know, and I was week

from bleeding all week.

And, I was sick and tired, and hungry,

and every other damn thing too.

So piano player start (clapping) to play,

and I dance the only two
steps I know at the time

which was the crossover and the time step.

And, I just danced 'em
over and over again.

I just did crossover and the time step.

Then I did it again.

I did crossover and the time step.

And, then did it again,
crossover and the time step.

Piano player he finally
said, "Would you please

"stop wasting my time?"

He must've felt sorry
for me cause he said,

"Can you sing?"

I said, "Yeah sure I can sing.

"Every-damn-body can sing.

"What's that?"

And, so I did, and they went crazy.

And, Benny Goodman come to see me.

And, I sang at the Apollo.

I was so nervous.

I stuck the flowers in my head

with the pins still in 'em.

Bled so much I almost
passed out at intermission,

but I didn't, I didn't.

Because the crowd, they was screaming.

They was just saying, "Billie."

(groaning)

They were like that at
Alderson prison too.

You know all them girls up there

they always screaming for me
to sing something for 'em.

Some of 'em even have my records too.

And, they thought I should sing something

to cheer 'em up, you know blues or jazz

or some shit like that.

But, I couldn't sing in a place like that.

Singing is how you feel.

And, at Alderson prison, I
was dead a year and a day.

You ever hear a dead person sing?

That's what Philly did for me.

They told me, my damn agent.

He said, "Plead guilty, Billie.

"You're gonna get out
on suspended sentence."

So I stood up there.

I was flatfooted in front of that judge,

and I said one word,
guilty, and he sent me

cold turkey to Alderson Prison.

Being in prison in West Virginia,

that's what's called double redundant.

(laughing)

10, 12 years ago, that was '47.

(clapping)

And, that's when I was
doing the bad drugs heavy.

Oh yes, I was doing them heavy.

And, that's when the idea of treating

a sick colored person was to strap you

to your bedpost so tight,
I still get the pain

in my wrist and my ankles
every time a storm come.

But, the worst part is they didn't tell me

about this card.

This is this card that they
call your cabaret card,

and you've got to have it to
work in the clubs in New York.

It's really supposed to be for them folk

who work in the kitchen,
you know just to show

that they got.

They call it your work card.

And, every-damn-body got to have one.

Only the men with the blue suits

and the brass buttons
and the damn white socks,

they's the only one who
could give it to you.

And, if you got a felony
even out of state,

they won't let you earn your daily bread.

And, they told me that
after I got out of my year

of hell in West Virginia.

And, friends of mine,
you know, they set it up

for me so I could sing at Carnegie Hall,

but I can't never sing in no
club like this ever again.

And, singing in a club
like this is heaven to me!

(feedback ringing)

And, I tried to tell 'em too, I did.

I said it wasn't me.

I wasn't even at the hotel
when the policemen come in.

I was here.

I was here.

I was here!

I was right here at this
club, and it was you, Sonny,

you're the one who put all the stuff

in my suitcase cause you
said you couldn't make

it to the toilet in time.

So you put it all in my
suitcase cause you thought

me being Billie Holiday and all that shit,

they wouldn't do nothing to me.

You had a police file on
you as long as your dick.

So I said okay.

And, I got my chauffeur
to drive me back to Philly

so as I could plead guilty.

And, I never told no-damn-body.

And, I didn't know nothing
about any of that shit

till I met you, Sonny.

And, how you cried so bad
when I wouldn't have none.

And, you said nobody didn't
love you enough to try

even a little bit of a hit or two.

And, I said I would just not heroine.

You know but you're so scared,
and you were so helpless.

And, you said nobody who didn't try none

couldn't know what it was like for you.

And, so I said to myself,
I said, "Okay Sonny's going

"to know there is one
damn bitch in this world

"that loves him."

And, hush now.

Don't explain.

♫ Just say you'll remain

♫ I'm glad

♫ You're back

♫ Don't explain

♫ Quiet don't explain

♫ You're my joy and pain

♫ Skip that

Hey fellas, you all feel that?

(jazz music)

♫ What a little moonlight can do

♫ Oh what a little moonlight can do to you

♫ Oh

♫ You're in love

♫ Your heart's a flutter

Do you know what I want?

I want a beautiful home and some kids.

And, I want to cook.

And, I want something else too.

I want a club,

my own club.

It's very small.

It's very cozy.

It's someplace where I can
sing for all my friends.

What else is there?

(piano music)

♫ Lonely grief is hounding me

♫ Like a lonely shadow

♫ Hounding me

♫ It's always there just out of sight

♫ Like a frightening dream

♫ On a lightning night

♫ Lonely wind cries out my name

♫ Sad as haunted music in the rain

♫ It's born of grief and born of woe

♫ Still I hear it call, and I've got to go

♫ Where can I be headed for

♫ The blues crowding my door

♫ To lick my heart once more

♫ Love lives in a barren land

♫ Where there's no helping hand

♫ To understand

♫ Why does it bring this ache to me

♫ Why it don't matter why

♫ I only know

♫ Misery

♫ Has to be

♫ A part of me

♫ Never hope to count on love

♫ To be a partner of that heaven above

♫ Never hope to understand

("Deep Song")