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1
00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:06,089
Garbage day!
2
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:08,508
Stan, you gotta come check out
this new truck!
3
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,010
{\an8}- Nope.
- These things are
top of the line.
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,098
Absolutely brutalize the bins.
5
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,695
Yeah, get some!
What's this?
6
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:31,114
Small group
of people outside...
7
00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:35,952
So, the neighbors have finally
noticed our new solid gold
lawn orb. About time.
8
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,288
No, they're over
at Greg's house...
9
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:43,460
{\an8}- What?
- Stan, could you scoot over?
10
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,711
{\an8}Oh, I'll scoot over.
11
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,296
{\an8}I'll scoot all the way over
to Greg's house
12
00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,299
{\an8}to see what
the great big deal is.
13
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,592
Move it, geek!
Comin' through!
14
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:54,971
"This house has been
designated a historic
place of note
15
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,599
by the Langley Falls
Historical Society."
16
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,478
It turns out James K. Polk
once spent the night here,
17
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:05,315
and a few of us are extremely
mildly impressed.
18
00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:08,151
{\an8}Stan, may I tie your robe
for you?
19
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:11,237
A notable house
for a notable man.
20
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:14,574
I mean,
Greg is a prominent member
of the community,
21
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:19,120
not some anonymous,
regular-degular nobody
like you or me.
22
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:24,501
Anyhoo, better get back.
I left Ma all alone
at the house.
23
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:27,671
Allie! Help!
24
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,509
Damn! I thought
I locked her in.
25
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,514
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
26
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:41,184
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
a wonderful day ♪
27
00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:44,187
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
28
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:48,108
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
29
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:53,822
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
30
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:56,450
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
31
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,539
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
32
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,670
{\an8}Oh, Jeff, you wouldn't
know anything
about a $200 charge
33
00:02:08,671 --> 00:02:11,756
{\an8}from Right Angler Bait
and Tackle, would you?
34
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:16,052
{\an8}No! I mean, what?
Uh, weird.
35
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,679
{\an8}Must've been cybercriminals.
36
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,721
{\an8}Pockets, mister.
37
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,557
{\an8}Damn it, Hayley,
I'm a grown man!
38
00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:24,018
{\an8}And how am I supposed
to make my Super Mega
Worm World
39
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,563
{\an8}in the backyard without these?
40
00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,568
{\an8}Oh!
41
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:33,152
{\an8}What's in the box?
42
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,488
{\an8}Okay, as we all know,
I was no angel
in my younger days,
43
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,282
{\an8}back before
I cleaned up my act.
44
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,909
{\an8}So there I am today,
hiding under an overpass
45
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,996
{\an8}about to carjack
this deaf nun,
when what do I find?
46
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:47,041
{\an8}A delivery truck
I'd stolen years ago
and totally forgotten about!
47
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,793
{\an8}So, what's in the box?
48
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:52,922
{\an8}No idea. But there's
132 of 'em, so hopefully
something I can sell.
49
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,885
{\an8}Gold? Dildos? Golden dildos?
50
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:02,891
{\an8}The 1987 edition of
the Encyclopedia Britannica?
51
00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,434
{\an8}Oh, not to worry, though.
52
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,769
{\an8}Because with
a positive attitude
and a little patience,
53
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,646
{\an8}I can sell anything!
54
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:11,524
{\an8}Francine, do you want
to buy 132 encyclopedias?
55
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,861
{\an8}- No.
- Damn. How about you, Stan?
56
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,195
{\an8}Stan? Stan!
57
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,699
{\an8}I agree! We do need
a plaque of our own!
58
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,536
{\an8}Ah, there is one
golden dildo in here.
59
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,330
{\an8}Franny? Hayley?
60
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:26,832
{\an8}Steve?
61
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:38,509
{\an8}Francine,
would you describe us
as a "notable Langley family?"
62
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:43,014
{\an8}Family? I've always
considered us more like
a group of roommates
63
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,557
{\an8}that are related
to each other.
64
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,018
{\an8}And no, we're not
all that notable either.
65
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:50,647
{\an8}That's about to change.
66
00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:54,108
Glen Hanover, Langley Falls
Historical Society.
67
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,486
Glen-dog! Come on in, brah.
68
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,571
What can I snag ya?
White Claw? Absinthe?
69
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,240
Some [sniffs] party favors?
What's your pleasure?
70
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,327
- I'm actually--
- Hungry? I can
do ya a smashburger.
71
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:07,163
You said on the phone
that several Founding Fathers
72
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,957
are known to have
stayed in this house?
73
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,084
If you say so.
74
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,378
Which Founding Fathers, exactly?
75
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:15,338
Oh, all the big ones,
76
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:19,760
George Washington,
Johnny Appleseed, and a whole
lot of Benjamin Franklins.
77
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,432
- I can't take this briefcase.
- All right,
let's cut the crap.
78
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,351
What'll it take for us
to get our plaque?
79
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,688
Mr. Smith, I'm afraid
only merit will suffice.
80
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,898
- You can have one night
with my wife.
- What?
81
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:37,360
Thank you for your interest
in the Historical Society.
82
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:42,115
Please accept this
Historic Langley coffee table
book as a parting gift.
83
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,866
Two nights.
Two nights with my wife!
84
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:47,621
And a Historic Langley
coffee table book?
85
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:55,628
Three days
and not sell one 'pedia.
86
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,464
Rogu, there's no shortcuts
to making an honest sale.
87
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,883
All I have to do is remember
my three P's.
88
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:04,972
With "positivity"
and "patience,"
anything is "possible."
89
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:15,565
Well, I haven't gotten inside
a single door
and I've been shot six times,
90
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,317
but that first sale
is just around the corner.
91
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,781
Where'd you get that?
Don't play with that thing!
92
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,871
Family portrait's
just a bit askew.
93
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:32,540
Aah!
94
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,751
Hmm. Just comes right through
to the living room.
95
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:37,671
Stan! What the hell
are you doing?
96
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,510
Look! Right here in the book
my buddy Glen-dog gave me.
97
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,847
{\an8}The "Silken Saltbox Parlor
& Comfort House"?
98
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:51,434
Super famous brothel
back in the 1870s!
Look familiar?
99
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,685
- No.
- Not really.
100
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,230
Yeah, I've never met
this house before, Mr. S.
101
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:57,815
Sure you have.
That's our house!
102
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:01,527
Turns out our house has been
a historic landmark all along!
103
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,614
All we need now
is some evidence.
104
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,325
Stan, stop!
105
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,203
Why are you so obsessed
with this idea of being
"notable," Dad?
106
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:14,707
Is there some
formative trauma in your past
we don't know about?
107
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,668
No. Actually, wait.
Let me think.
108
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:24,467
These society types
may not have ever paid us
much notice before.
109
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:27,386
But by God,
they'll notice you now.
110
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,347
Now go be somebody, Stan.
111
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,725
- Be somebody!
- Yes'm.
112
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,812
Out of the way, nobody!
113
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:38,065
Didn't notice you there, kid!
114
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:45,822
Someone, please! Help.
115
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,240
Did you hear somebody?
116
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,410
I'm sure it was nobody.
Or at least a nobody.
117
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,337
So I guess that might have
something to do with it.
118
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,922
My poor little Daddy.
119
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:07,426
Maybe there's
a tiny resemblance
to this old whorehouse?
120
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,095
Let's tear this place apart!
121
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,102
Argh!
122
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,438
Well, that was a mistake.
123
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,025
Aah!
124
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:27,281
Sixty-nining skeletons?
125
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,743
S-Skeleton sex swing?
126
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,960
Did you find anything?
127
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,547
Well, what do you think?
128
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:48,843
Mr. Smith, this is
quite possibly the most
notable historic place
129
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,553
I've ever encountered.
130
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,555
As you can tell,
I'm getting quite
worked up here.
131
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,893
- So is it plaque-worthy?
- Plaque-worthy?
It's museum-worthy.
132
00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:00,396
Museum-worthy?
Now, that's noteworthy.
133
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:05,693
Noteworthy and pin-worthy.
134
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,323
It's like
a plaque for my body.
135
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:15,244
Say you have a report
due on gray wolves
for biology class.
136
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,872
What can you use?
Shmargle-bargle.com?
137
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:22,084
You'd need an encyclopedia
just to figure out
how to use this darn thing.
138
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:25,464
Now, for a truly
user-friendly experience.
139
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,090
Gray wolves.
140
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:31,427
You simply flip through
the "G" volume to...
Hmm. Not finding it here.
141
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,013
Must be under "W."
142
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:37,516
Nope,
not seeing it here, either.
Maybe under "D" for dog?
143
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:41,312
You know what, probably
just need to crack two-volume
quick reference guide first.
144
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,105
Wow, this is really confusing.
145
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,442
Could you google
"how to use Britannica
reference guide" for me?
146
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,653
You know what? Never mind.
I think you get the point,
147
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:52,615
and see the value of
truly having knowledge
at your fingertips.
148
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:56,494
Ow! Paper cut. Anyway,
How many sets
can I put you down for?
149
00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:58,955
Oh, I don't know.
150
00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:02,041
They do seem nice, but...
151
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,961
Would you care to
stay for some tea?
152
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,630
I'm going to need
a little time
to think about it.
153
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:11,342
Ma'am, you take all the time
you need. How about now,
will you buy it now?
154
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,178
I'll need a little more time.
155
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,058
No problem.
156
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:23,396
The brothel was founded
by land baron
157
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,898
Cyrus Talmadge in 1868.
158
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,777
But it was found by me,
Stan Smith, last week.
159
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,862
Hi, I'm Stan Smith.
I live in a museum.
160
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:37,201
Stan! There's cars all over
the damn lawn and mud
all over the damn house!
161
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,203
Ooh.
162
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:42,748
Sorry, dear.
Just the price we pay
to bring history to life.
163
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:46,294
Clean up that mud
or I'll bring fistory to life.
164
00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:47,462
Hey-o!
165
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,339
Is this it?
166
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,341
It's kind of just
a dusty old room, isn't it?
167
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:57,138
Yeah, this place is...
kind of boring.
168
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:06,605
Babe! Did you seriously
cut off my Venmo
teen credit card?
169
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:10,943
If you want money, babe,
maybe you should try working.
170
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,988
Oh, I don't work?
Day in, day out,
171
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:18,034
I'm up to my goddamn elbows
in squishy little wormies.
172
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,036
Well, those aren't
the only wormies around here
173
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,746
that have been
all squishy lately.
174
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,372
Oh, snap!
175
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,375
Dude, you gotta check out
this fight. It's nuts.
176
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:30,046
I just saw the blonde chick
shotgun an entire box of wine.
177
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,048
This family is
pretty interesting.
178
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:34,675
Entertaining. Interestaining.
179
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,678
Yes, we are. Follow me.
180
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:42,517
Why don't we get you
a bit more comfortable,
mon cheri?
181
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,896
Just gotta get this clasp.
182
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,441
Damn it!
This thing is impossible!
183
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,487
What am I,
Harry [bleep] Houdini
over here?
184
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,078
Can I get you anything
before you go to sleep?
185
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:05,664
A glass of warm milk
or a goddamn encyclopedia?
186
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,916
What's that now?
187
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,210
I said would you like to buy
an encyclopedia?
188
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:13,632
Oh, I'll need
a little more time
to think about that.
189
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:24,934
Welcome to MoMaf, the Museum
of the Modern American Family.
190
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,984
Jeff, I... Hey, watch it lady!
191
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,778
I could swear
I had a 20 in here.
192
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:40,658
Oh, what,
now you think I stole
from you to buy worms? Look.
193
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:43,953
- Check his hat!
- What the hell, bro?
194
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:46,997
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
195
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:52,086
And here we see just
a fraction of the varied,
and at times surprising,
196
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:55,506
self-pleasure material
found under Steve's mattress.
197
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,883
Martha Stewart Living?
198
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,927
He's gonna crank it right now!
199
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,720
Based on her scat,
200
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,474
our scientists believe
the extreme lack
of roughage in Francine's diet
201
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,144
is the cause
of her frequent constipation.
202
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,821
- Stan!
- Ooh!
203
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,990
That's right. It's me, Stan.
204
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:24,410
How ya doin'? Stan Smith.
Nice to see you.
205
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,997
- Is something wrong?
- No, Stan. Everything's wrong!
206
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:32,251
Why is the Historical Society
even taking part in this?
207
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,254
The Historical Society made
some bad crypto bets,
208
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,757
so we really need the revenue
from the ticket
and cafe sales.
209
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,509
What cafe?
210
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:44,513
Okay, so we got
two Arizona ice teas
and a wet egg salad sandwich
211
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,641
that's been smushed down
to the thickness
of a quesadilla.
212
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,685
That'll be $54.
213
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:52,396
Want to make it a lunch combo?
For just 18 bucks more,
214
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,357
I can throw in some Pop Chips
and a shitty apple.
215
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,622
I wonder
what kind of tree that is.
216
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:13,209
You know a good way
to find out? Those
encyclopedias I'm selling.
217
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:16,420
You sell encyclopedias?
218
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,881
I do. Would you
like to buy one?
219
00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:22,260
Oh, I'll need some time
to think about it.
220
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,563
Ugh, Jeff, was that you?
Wait, why are you all in here?
221
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:37,066
Because everywhere we go,
every hour of the day,
222
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,442
people are watching us!
223
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,487
That's right. If it truly is
an attention economy,
224
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,988
we're gazillionaires!
225
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,157
Then again,
if it's a normal economy,
we're bankrupt,
226
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,619
because I signed the house
over to the Historical Society
back when this all started.
227
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,079
- What?
- What's the problem?
228
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,039
We're being noticed,
being seen!
229
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,584
We want to not be seen
for a while,
230
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,087
you self-obsessed jackass!
231
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,506
I had no idea
you were so angry about this.
232
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,133
Let's get out of here.
233
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,554
- Okay, and go.
- What?
234
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:09,598
All that raw anger
was way too good
to keep backstage.
235
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:13,102
Ooh. Start with that thing
about me being
a self-obsessed jackass.
236
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,981
- Nice and big.
- Stan, you [bleep] lunatic!
237
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,777
- Oh, yeah, that's even better!
- We can't do this anymore.
238
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,239
We're gonna leave
and hide out somewhere
no one can find us.
239
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,657
We want you to come with.
240
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:30,744
You have to choose, Stan.
Us or the museum.
241
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:34,164
Look at all these people,
Stan, all looking at you,
242
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,292
a real somebody.
243
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,877
You can't give that up now.
244
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:42,549
I don't know what you're
looking over there for.
There's only one of me, Stan.
245
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:45,634
I'm staying.
246
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,138
Then you're staying alone.
247
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:53,727
Here, Stan.
248
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,314
{\an8}That'll be $8.
249
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,988
He do anything yet?
250
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,198
Nah. Dude is forlorn as shit.
251
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,576
I'm starting to regret buying
a yearly pass.
252
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,744
Tell me about it.
253
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,580
I paid 14 bucks
for this God-awful coffee
254
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,665
and found
a big chunk of muffin in it.
255
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:20,169
{\an8}Oh, I'm gonna have to
charge you for a coffee
and a muffin then.
256
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,587
{\an8}Sixteen more dollars.
257
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,340
{\an8}This place sucks now.
258
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:30,929
Stan, your whole energy
of late has really
put a damper on attendance.
259
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,474
I just miss my family so much.
260
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,476
- Do you know where they are?
- I don't.
261
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,437
And you need to
start asking me
before you hold my hand.
262
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,023
- May I hold your hand?
- No.
263
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:45,319
Listen, we're bringing in
some new blood to the house
to boost ticket sales.
264
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,738
Lisa Vanderpump, Logan Paul.
265
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:51,700
People the museum-going public
would be interested in seeing.
266
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,371
Oh. well, I look forward
to working, and
living with them.
267
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:59,124
You're not understanding,
Stan. We're firing you
from the museum.
268
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,626
I see.
269
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,505
- May I hold your hand now?
- Okay, but just for a minute.
270
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,466
Then you have to
get the hell out.
271
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:12,179
{\an8}♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
272
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,640
What did you wish for?
273
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,060
To be honest, ma'am,
my one, true, fondest wish
274
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:21,063
would be
for you to please, please,
275
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:24,609
please just
buy an encyclopedia.
276
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,946
Let me just get my checkbook.
277
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:33,659
I know it's right here
in the...
278
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,580
Oh... You're never
going to believe this.
279
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:46,171
Thank you for your time,
ma'am. You have yourself
a lovely day.
280
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,842
Okay, so this one didn't
quite pan out, but... Ahh!
281
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,761
Rogu hungry.
282
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:57,266
Oh, my God, Rogu!
We gotta get you
to a Mickey D's, stat!
283
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,810
I don't know how
I forgot to order
anything for you.
284
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,563
But what's this now?
285
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,445
I just wanna check this out,
won't be long.
286
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,905
Don't touch my apple pie.
287
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:15,659
The website says
it's a Benjamin Franklin
museum.
288
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,580
Things change.
And don't I know it.
289
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,456
- Roger?
- Stan?
290
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,124
Whatcha got going on here?
291
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:25,294
After my so-called
"buddy" Glen-dog
fired me from my own house,
292
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,672
he at least set me up
with a position at this
Benjamin Franklin museum.
293
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,716
So it is
a Benjamin Franklin museum.
294
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,969
No! I've turned it
into something
much more meaningful,
295
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:36,263
a tribute
to the beautiful family
296
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:39,808
I so foolishly
chased out of my life.
297
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,227
There's my little Steve,
hitting the books.
298
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,979
Keep up the good work, champ.
299
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,898
Don't stay up
too late studying.
300
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:49,985
And there's Hayley,
flying her kite.
Way to go, baby girl.
301
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:54,072
You got it up all by yourself.
Daddy's so proud of you!
302
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:58,577
And there's the lovely
Francine, negotiating
with King Louis XVI
303
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,413
for more funds to support
the American Revolution.
304
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,876
She always loved doing that.
Perchance a kiss, my sweet?
305
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,675
Stan, why are you
doing all this?
306
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,428
In the hopes that someday
they'll hear about this place,
307
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,764
come see how truly sorry I am,
308
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:22,518
and then hopefully,
eventually forgive me.
309
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:25,938
Oh, Papa, we already have!
310
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,649
Yeah, Dad, you seem like
you've been through enough.
311
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:33,571
Steve! Hayley! And Francine!
Oh, I've missed you
so much, baby!
312
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:41,537
If you're ever in Duluth,
call me.
313
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,163
Aah.
314
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,208
I for one don't know
if I'm quite ready
to forgive you yet.
315
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:49,545
Sure you're sorry,
but you still don't
seem to get it.
316
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,130
You still put us
all on display here.
317
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,924
We want our privacy back.
318
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,384
We want our lives back.
319
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:58,220
We want our worms back.
320
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,681
We want our house back.
321
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:05,018
I think I have a plan
to do just that.
322
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,481
With a little help from
our robotic replicas here.
323
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,486
Hanover!
Give us back our house.
324
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,115
You mean our house.
The Historical Society,
that is.
325
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,617
Oh, yeah?
Remember the brothel?
326
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:23,537
The reason
the deed was transferred
in the first place?
327
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:26,915
Well, I dug it, I staged it,
I faked the whole thing.
328
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:27,958
- You did?
- What?
329
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,585
I could tell.
330
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,212
Meaning that the deed
was exchanged
under false pretenses...
331
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,964
Ooh! Say "ipso facto,"
332
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:36,341
this is
the perfect opportunity
to say "ipso facto."
333
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,094
- And therefore...
- Ugh.
334
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,888
...null and void.
335
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:44,308
You say the brothel
was fake? Prove it.
336
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,268
I... can't.
337
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,770
I think I know
how to solve this problem,
338
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:52,816
{\an8}with a little help
from my trusty
encyclopedia here.
339
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,192
He's right.
340
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,069
There's an entry about
the Silken Saltbox in here,
341
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:59,281
and it clearly states
it was located
in East Langley.
342
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,783
This house couldn't be it!
343
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:05,538
Oh. I was just gonna
kill him with it,
but your way works too.
344
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,293
I know I was obsessed
with being a somebody,
345
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:16,256
but there's nobody
I'd rather be with than you
beautiful nobodies right here.
346
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,091
Thanks?
347
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,762
Oh, Stan, when are you
finally going to realize
what I've always known?
348
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,932
That absolutely nothing
is more important
than family.
349
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:28,227
Oh, my God.
I left Rogu at a gas station
in Newark.
350
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:33,066
{\an8}You know what,
he's a tough cookie, he'll be
fine through the weekend.
351
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:37,152
{\an8}I promise all of you
I'll never again lose sight
352
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,989
{\an8}of what this all
should've been about in
the first place, the plaque.
353
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,077
{\an8}Oh, not that plaque.
354
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:46,871
{\an8}Perfect.
28917
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