All language subtitles for A Different World s05e20 Sellmates.eng

- If every Schmect automobile�
- Mmm-hmm.

�every Schmect automobile
is equipped with a driver's side

- and a passenger side air bag, for Velma.
- Mmm.

But why would I need an air bag for Velma?

No problem. I can have anything removed.

Well, you ought to start
by removing yourself.

- Cold.
- Life as a car salesman.

It doesn't get any worse than this.

Hey, man, look at the bright side,
at least you're keeping

the makers of cheap suits employed.

Yesterday, I was kicked
and bitten by children.

I had a little old lady
fall asleep during the test drive.

And then two of my customers
actually came back and bought cars.

What's so bad about that?

I was on my lunch break.

The other salesmen got the commission.

Ron�

By the way, could you loan me a $50
till I sell my first car?

No, I don't think I'mma live that long.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me, come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember
That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Phew.

Hey, you sell your first car yet?

No. Most unscrupulous business
in the world.

I should be good at it.

You know, I can sympathize.

I'm on pins and needles
waiting on my med school acceptances.

Oh, you'll get in.

Your first day in med school,

your dissection partner will probably be
some Phi Beta Kappa brother from Howard.

You guys will look at each other
over the cadaver and it will be love.

He'll have everything.

Except his own car.

Aw�

But, but you'll have your very own
that you purchased

from your good friend Ron Johnson�

�and at a discount price-

Ron, Ron, I don't want
to hurt your feelings, but, uh, go away.

Whitley.

- Back, Cadillac man, back.
- Uh�

The mail came late today,
so I brought yours.

- Oh, great.
- There's one in there

from Cheswick University.

Oh, Cheswick, that's my last choice.

Wish those others would get here.

Oh, come on, Kimberly. It's destiny.

When you were born, the doctor slapped you
on your behind and said,

"See you in OR."

Cheswick rejected me.

Let me see this.

There must be some mistake.

Your M-CAT is in the top 5%,
you're a straight "A" student,

and you got
a glowing recommendation from me.

Yeah. What about my letter?

I told them you was a whiz
with the cleaver.

And every Schmect car
is equipped with dual air bags

to protect the one you love.

Isn't that right, Mr. Schmect?

I just lost my partner in life last month.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Why don't we step into the office
and work out the figures?

Right over here.

Easy mark, the bereaved.

Yes, sir, Mr. Schmect.

Don't screw it up.

Thank you.

You know, uh, I, myself,
recently just suffered a loss,

but the purchase of a new automobile
is a great way to ease the pain.

Don't buy Schmect's cars!

Don't buy Schmect's cars!

Hey, hey, hey!

Figures you'd be working here.

What is this all about?

Don't you read a paper?

Your boss, Mr. Schmect,
owns a line of shoe stores

and they're making dog boots.

What's wrong with a boot made for a dog?

They are not made
for dogs, they are made of dogs.

Don't buy Schmect's cars!

Oh, hey, hey, hey!

Shut up, you lunatics!

Can't you see I'm in the middle of a sale?

Excuse me, she's just some kook
I know from college.

Her parents dropped a lot of acid.

Why don't we just
fill out the purchase order here?

Yogi would never forgive me.

Yogi?

My better half, my only friend. My beagle.

I'd shoot myself in the foot
before I'd buy a car from here.

Well, then you should join us, my brother.

On to the service bay!

Save the dogs!

Wait a minute!

I'll throw in a free CD.

How about a puppy?

Ah, welcome to Schmect Motors.

I'm, uh, Ron Johnson, at your service,
and you are?

Lennox Baylor.

Oh, lovely name.

How did you hear about us, Lennox?

I realize because I'm relatively young,
there's a tendency towards familiarity.

I prefer Ms. Baylor.

I hear you.

Just sold a car
to Gloria Steinem last week.

Sorry for the faux pas, Ms. Baylor.

It happens to me every day
in the business world.

It's the price one pays
for graduating Harvard at 19.

I could tell at first glance
that you are a woman of distinction.

Oh, the convertible, it's much prettier

than its picture
in The Wall Street Journal.

Do you read the Journal?

Every morning. Yeah.

My broker is my alarm clock.

A man after my own heart.

And your business.

Any questions about the,
uh, car, just ask.

What effect
does the three-way catalytic converter

have on the lockup torque converter,
given that the V-6 is supercharged?

These seats? Oh-ho!

These seats are made
by the leading orthopedist Dr. Mellman.

I'm excited� about this car.

May I test drive?

Oh, sure, uh, let me just
get the keys and we'll go.

If you don't mind,
I prefer to be one with the machine.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Mr. Schmect insists

that we accompany the customer
on the test drive,

but I'll tell you,
I'll just duck here in the back,

I'll get low and quiet.
You won't even know I'm in the car.

- You just drive.
- Yes, yes, yes.

But the car will know.

The car will know?

Well, Ms. Baylor, wait�

Would, uh�

Would holding the keys
to my father's Mercedes

make you feel more secure?

Mercedes?

The 500 SL parked out at the curb.

Just under 90 grand.

Have a nice test drive.

Watch those speed bumps on your way out.

Hour-and-a-half.

Congratulations, Johnson.

You sold the convertible
to that mourner, didn't you?

How long you been with us now, Ron?

- Uh�
- It is Ron, isn't it?

Yeah. This is my fourth day, Mr. Schmect.

Fourth day, first sale.

You know,
when I was on the floor,

it only took me one day
to make my first sale,

but then again, who's like me?

- Nobody I know, sir.
- Yeah.

Well, let me look at that purchase order.
I'm gonna frame it for you.

- Purchase order?
- Yeah.

You did take money
for the car, didn't you?

Well, actually,
I didn't sell the car, Mr. Schmect.

The guy had lousy credit.

Could you believe he bounced
a check at the funeral?

Can you picture it?

Where's the convertible?

Bill. Bill Wilson.

Bill Wilson took a customer out
for a test drive-

I fired Bill Wilson this morning, Johnson.

Where the hell is that car?

It's in good hands, Mr. Shmecht.

Actually, it's in
a Harvard graduate's hands,

and I have the keys
to her father's Mercedes

parked out at the curb.

What Mercedes?

The black one. It's� It's�

It was there when I gave her the car.

When?

When?

Um, a couple minutes ago.

About 90.

Oh, God!

It's stolen.

Johnson, you will never work
in a big-time dealership again!

Here she is.

Get out of that car, Miss! Now!

I will teach you to go
for a joyride in my cars!

What is it you say
in your commercial? Uh�

"Satisfaction is standard"?

Well, Mr. Schmect,
you are not satisfying me.

What?

I took this car out on what
I presume would be a routine test drive.

Now, I am on cruise control
on the highway.

Suddenly, I see a school bus
stalled in my lane.

I hit the brakes.

Nothing happens.

Now, I am so close I can hear
little voices singing�

? The wheels in the bus
Go round, round, round ?

? The wheels in the bus
Go round, round, round� ?

I swerve onto the median,

only to find I am hurtling
towards a solid brick overpass.

Oh, my God.

What happened?

A miracle.

The car ran out of gas.

- Oh.
- But the car was full of gas,

and you are full of something
that smells just a little bit worse.

Shut up!

I won't have you talking
to customers this way.

You know, I am really late for a concert.

- Oh, Miss, please�
- No, it's Ms. Baylor.

I'm gonna have my service people
work on the car all night long.

It's gonna be in pristine condition
first thing in the morning, hmm?

She is not going to buy a car.

This is of no concern of yours.
You're through here.

- Miss Baylor-
- But wait a minute.

Out, out, out, out, out, out, out.

And by the way,

your wife's sleeping
with the service manager.

I knew that.

Ugh, flimflammed by some filly.

Just kick yourself, fool.

- Hi.
- Bye.

I brought you
a peace offering.

Not interested.

It's a tape of your band,
X-Pression,

live at the Blue Dog.

What?

When I first saw you at the dealership,
I had this feeling I knew you.

Where did you get a tape of my band?

Oh, well, same way I get tapes of, uh�

let's see� Whitney,
Luther, Heavy, and Frank.

I'm a video alternatist.

Ugh. You are a bootlegger.

Well, you know, that too.

Hey, listen, your band is happening.

Why are you wasting
your time selling cars?

Why are you wasting your time
stealing cars?

A new convertible comes in kind of handy

when you're a record executive,
for an hour.

Listen, um, do you mind if I just heat up
some Chinese food real quick?

Well, yes, I mind.

You come barging in here
on your little toothpick legs,

trying to stick your moo shu pork
in my microwave

that I'm probably gonna have to sell

since you cost me my job
with your phony degree,

your phony glasses,
and your dad's phony Mercedes.

Is there anything real about you?

Yeah.

I'm real sorry I cost you your job.

So�

Are we cool?

Well, you know,
there's still the little matter

of your keys.

Which is probably the reason
you came back here anyway, isn't it?

So, that's where they are.

I knew there was a reason I was walking.

- Absolutely.
- Thank you so much.

I appreciate this.

You didn't really think
the keys were on there, did you?

No. No, no.

See, that's why, tomorrow morning,
you're gonna go back to Schmect Motors

and you're gonna
tell the man the truth,

and you're gonna get my job back.

But my food is-

Oh, you know, Chinese food is my favorite.

Damn, I'm good.

- Got you again. Checkmate.
- Oh!

I'm the best chess player
in the math department

and I can't beat you?

Dwayne, I've got a confession
to make to you.

See that mirror behind you?

I can see your every move.

But you can't cheat at chess.

I would give up my career
for a sugar daddy.

Well, don't look at me.

Whitley, if you quit, can I have your job?

I know I'm not getting into med school.

Kimberly, please, you applied
to seven different schools.

Somebody's gonna take you.

Cheswick was the easiest to get into,
if they don't want me, who will?

I know. Why don't you apply
to one of those

nice little medical schools
in Central America?

Do you want me
to write another letter for you?

Como se llama "cleaver" in Spanish?

That's good.

Ms. Brooks.

You've heard the expression
"dog-eat-dog world"?

Well, in some parts of the globe,
it's a people-eat-dog world.

Oh, how dare you!

Now, my shoe company imports
dog pelts and we make shoes.

Dogs are supposed to bring slippers,
not be slippers.

The protest will go on.

Speak, sister!

It would be a real shame

if, uh, something were to happen
to little Ziggy over there.

You� You touch one dread
on this dog's head

and my people will blow
this building sky-high!

We are radical, man, radical.

Come now, Ziggy.

Every automobile at Schmect is put through

my own personal 100-step
inspection process,

and nowhere in the industry

can you get
the famous Schmect Gold Package.

Ms. Baylor, hi.

- I'm watching my commercial.
- Oh.

�satisfaction is standard.

Buy American.

Buy Schmect.

Yankee doodle-doo!

Hey, Freddie, who's walking who?

Johnson, what are you doing here?

Uh, Mr. Schmect, Ms. Baylor has something
she'd like to tell you.

Yesterday was not what it appeared to be.

I'm not really a customer, Mr. Shmecht.

Wait till you hear this.

And he's not really a fired salesman.

And my wife is not sleeping
with the sales manager.

Whatever you say.

Ron and I are partners in an independent
research consulting firm.

What?

I know this wasn't our agenda, Ron,

but when I saw the unlimited potential

of Mr. Schmect's commercial,
I was green with envy.

Green?

Green.

As my partner was saying,

she and I have been working
deep, deep, deep undercover

as part of a private investigation
into the auto industry.

You've been working undercover
all this time?

Oh, why do you think I purposely didn't
sell one of your cars?

Your behavior when I returned
the car yesterday was deplorable.

Well, I thought somebody stole the car.

Yes, but if we envision
a mathematical progression

where one dissatisfied
consumer tells another�

Mr. Schmect, you'd be pushing dog boots.

Those boots are a by-product of-

Why do you think the American consumer
prefers the Japanese import?

Is it superior technology?

Nay.

Is it price?

Nay. The Japanese model
is priced $3,000 more. Ching-ching!

What do you think it is?

I wish I knew.

I do.

You do?

You do. Of course, you do.

Go on, baby.

Confidence.

- Confidence?
- Confidence?

It's confidence.

Now, that's what I do in my commercial.
I instill confidence.

No. It back fires.

When the average Joe looks at you,
he sees a handsome, successful tycoon.

Qualities that most
may never. ever attain.

Now, you see, subconsciously,

they associate
these feelings of low self-esteem

with you and the cars you represent.

As riveting as your commercial is�

It just doesn't respond
to the emotional needs of your market.

Or especially
the male of the household.

Now, envision a beautiful field.

A football field.

And on the 50-yard line,
there are two cars.

Yeah, a station wagon.

And a convertible.

And, and, uh, the sun is glistening
on the Schmect Gold Package.

A henpecked, loser husband enters�

Followed by his bigmouthed,
overbearing wife.

He tries to get in the convertible�

But she goes for the wagon.

All of a sudden,
they're engulfed in glitter.

Yeah, and pixie dust, like in Hook.

Right!

Right, right.

And now, she turns
into a cheerleader with lovely legs

and these big pom-poms.

The henpecked, loser husband
is now a really handsome football player.

- Huh?
- And they're on the field and�

Both of them are on the field.
Both cars.

With the 50-yard line�

We said that before.
Go on, go on! When do I come in?

Now!

Right. You come in dressed
as the referee and do the coin toss.

Oh, and the wife calls�

Uh, wagon!

And the hubby calls�

Convertible!

Yes, and then we go to slow motion.

The coin freezes,
and we hear over the top,

"No matter what the call,
Schmect is the right play."

I love it!

Well, then, we'll do it, yeah.

- You?
- Yes.

No, no, no, I'm gonna get
my nephew, Simon, to do it.

He's the genius
behind my present commercial,

but you two do good work.

If you ever need a car,
see my sales manager.

Yankee doodle-doo!

What?

Get me Simon, quick.

Simon, listen to this.

Envision a field. Yeah.

That thief!

It takes one to know one.

Excuse me?

Look, I did what you asked in there.

Now give me my keys back.

I don't have my job back.

All right, then give me one key.

I'll give you one key to the future.

Me.

What?

You know, what went on in there was magic,

your lucrative magic at that.

My pop's always told me
somewhere in the universe

you're gonna find
your perfect business match.

I just never envisioned
anyone quite like you.

Are you proposing business to me?

I am.

Well, this is just all so sudden.

Well, you don't have to answer right now.

I don't know, man.
I feel like going legit will be painful.

Well, I'll be gentle with you.

Besides, the life you're leading
catches up with you sooner or later.

Well, I'm gonna consider this
very seriously,

because what just went on
in there was unbelievable.

That was one of my finer moments.

Oh, I'm the one that came up
with the football field.

Oh, come on, that line about the pom-poms
was so sexist.

If I had said
she was shaking her pom-poms,

that would have been sexist.

Kimberly Reese, what are you doing here?
You're supposed to be off.

Mr. Gaines, I can't go home.
There's mail there.

Kimberly Reese, there's only two things
in the world that I'm sure of.

One is that I'll never have
another part in my head,

and two is that you will be
a medical doctor.

Kimberly, these letters have just
been sitting in your mailbox.

Every time I go by, they go,
"Paging Dr. Reese. Paging Dr. Reese."

Don't you know it's a federal offense
to steal mail?

Oh, come on, darling, please-

The envelopes, please.
And the nominees are�

Johns Hopkins.

I knew his daddy.

And Meharry.

I won't touch that one.

And our own personal favorite

Hillman School of Medicine.

And Johns Hopkins says�

Let's see.

Johns Hopkins says, "Yes."

And Meharry says�

"Yes!"

Both divisions.

Hillman School of Medicine says, "Yes!"

Good girl!

I hope you learn
to write illegibly, Dr. Reese.

Oh, let's go party, Whit!

Finally, a doctor in the family.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0