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1
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Here I am, leaving on my art seminar
to enrich my mind
2
00:00:04,966 --> 00:00:06,400
and elevate my career.
3
00:00:06,466 --> 00:00:09,056
And what is the future father
of my children doing?
4
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:12,466
Buying an inflatable doll?
5
00:00:13,866 --> 00:00:15,100
No.
6
00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:18,100
Friday night,
it's basketball with Boo Boo Thomas.
7
00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:20,233
Saturday, it's college football with�
8
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,400
What's the boy with the ears name?
9
00:00:22,466 --> 00:00:24,033
Let's just call him "Dopey."
10
00:00:25,266 --> 00:00:27,466
And Sunday, he's cavorting with Ron,
11
00:00:27,533 --> 00:00:30,600
that high-faluting,
can't-graduate four-eyed gigolo.
12
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,903
You shouldn't talk about Ron like that.
He can graduate.
13
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,700
Anyway, I'm not talking to Dwayne
for a week.
14
00:00:38,766 --> 00:00:40,666
Ah, the mature approach.
15
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,600
Give me that letter.
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,766
It's from my aunt,
Katherine Gilbert-Mayweather
17
00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:47,733
from the Mayweather hotel chain.
18
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,800
- You're kidding.
- Don't be impressed.
19
00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:53,476
She holds onto nickels so tight,
you can see the Indian ride the buffalo.
20
00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:58,633
She never writes me
unless she wants something.
21
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:01,233
You know, I think you're asking
too much of Dwayne.
22
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,633
I mean, he's locked up
all day with calculus
23
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,366
and teaching and counseling.
24
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:07,733
Man wants a little,
25
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:08,850
you know�
26
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:10,600
Whitley?
27
00:01:10,666 --> 00:01:11,716
Whitley?
28
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:14,033
Whoa!
29
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,066
Whitley! Whitley!
30
00:01:16,966 --> 00:01:18,433
Whitley? Whitley?
31
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,266
Listen to this. It's a job offer.
32
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:27,366
"Dear Whitley,
I'm changing the art in my hotels.
33
00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:29,500
Artworks from all over the world.
34
00:01:29,566 --> 00:01:31,766
A perfect job for my favorite niece."
35
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I'm her only niece.
36
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:37,600
"Expense account to fit your life-style,
generous six-figure salary�"
37
00:01:37,666 --> 00:01:39,300
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!
38
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,400
That's fantastic!
39
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:43,883
Uh-oh.
40
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:49,000
"P.S. Your cousin Liza will be there
the weekend of the 5th."
41
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:51,866
That's this weekend.
42
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,400
"Please look after her."
43
00:01:54,466 --> 00:01:56,300
Blah, blah, blah, "Aunt Katherine."
44
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,233
Well, what's Liza like?
45
00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:00,533
She's like�
46
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,066
A sugar doughnut.
47
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:04,866
All sweet on the outside
48
00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:07,533
and nothing but a big old empty hole
in the middle.
49
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,733
Oh, so basically your family is all alike.
50
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,566
? I know my parents loved me ?
51
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:23,933
{\an8}? Stand behind me ?
52
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,733
{\an8}? Come what may ?
53
00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:30,733
{\an8}? I know now that I'm ready ?
54
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:34,533
{\an8}? For I finally heard them say ?
55
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:38,200
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
56
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:41,333
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
57
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,566
{\an8}? Yes, it is now, yeah ?
58
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,266
{\an8}? Here's our chance to make it ?
59
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:52,433
{\an8}? And if we focus on our goal ?
60
00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:57,233
{\an8}? You can dish it, we can take it ?
61
00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:01,300
{\an8}? Hey, just remember
That you've been told ?
62
00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:04,666
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
63
00:03:04,733 --> 00:03:06,833
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
64
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,000
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
65
00:03:09,066 --> 00:03:12,500
{\an8}- ? It's a different world ?
- ? Than where you come from ?
66
00:03:13,466 --> 00:03:14,966
{\an8}? Ooh ?
67
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:17,133
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
68
00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:25,933
{\an8}
69
00:03:35,066 --> 00:03:36,333
Look at that Whitley.
70
00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:41,466
Well, isn't that pretty?
71
00:03:41,533 --> 00:03:43,883
Nice little dead animal
to keep your neck warm.
72
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,100
You ever ask yourself
73
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,800
why they don't have paws or feet,
Miss Moneybags?
74
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:52,165
Because they're still caught
in the jagged teeth of some steel trap.
75
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,666
Stop it, please.
You're upsetting my tummy.
76
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:56,933
Blood dripping from the paws.
77
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,400
Security! Security!
78
00:03:58,401 --> 00:04:01,332
- What, you think this is funny?
- How'd you like it if I ripped that
79
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:03,200
- right off your neck?
- Stop it!
80
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,033
Hold it right there.
81
00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:10,416
What's with
the Michael Jackson impression?
82
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:16,366
My family is contributors
of Save the Dolphins, Save the Whale,
83
00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:18,966
Protect the Prairie, and Pet a Marmoset.
84
00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:21,666
You are supposed to be setting an example,
85
00:04:21,733 --> 00:04:23,733
and instead you're a social pariah.
86
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,400
It's called karma, my sister.
87
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,533
You're gonna come back as a baby seal.
88
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,933
Hey, Dwayne. How you doing?
89
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,050
Hey, Colonel.
90
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:35,043
What's the matter, son?
You look a little dazed.
91
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:36,316
Whitley.
92
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:39,066
Aw, youth.
93
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:40,183
I wish.
94
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:43,850
Whitley.
95
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:51,850
You feel that?
96
00:04:52,266 --> 00:04:53,766
- Uh-huh.
- Remember.
97
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:58,066
I want you to remember
how you feel at this moment
98
00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,666
and who made you feel that way.
99
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,383
Here you go.
100
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,766
Excuse me, General.
Where's Whitley Gilbert's room?
101
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:17,966
Right through that door.
102
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,083
Thank you.
103
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:30,500
Surprise.
104
00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:32,233
- Cousin!
- Don't get close.
105
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,033
I feel a cold coming on.
106
00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:39,533
Ew.
107
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,266
It's not too serious, is it?
108
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,433
No.
109
00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:43,465
Now, Whitley Marion,
110
00:05:43,466 --> 00:05:46,116
I don't want you worrying about me,
my first day here.
111
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:50,700
So, you're the resident director.
112
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,933
Yes, I run this dorm.
113
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,366
You need to do something about security.
114
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:59,466
When I was in the lobby,
I got attacked by a homeless girl.
115
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,700
- What?
- Yes, and she knew you.
116
00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:03,966
She left before I could give her
any change.
117
00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:05,916
So�
118
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,233
How's your boyfriend Dwayne?
119
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,033
I can't wait to meet him.
120
00:06:10,966 --> 00:06:14,133
Yes, you didn't have any boys
at your school, did you?
121
00:06:15,266 --> 00:06:17,533
Not in the classrooms.
122
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:22,866
So, little cousin,
123
00:06:23,866 --> 00:06:25,800
what would you like to do first?
124
00:06:25,866 --> 00:06:28,633
Well, I would like to blend in
a little better, and,
125
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,866
since you and I wear the same size�
126
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,066
You want to wear some of my clothes.
127
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:36,033
If it's not too much trouble.
128
00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:38,200
Be my guest.
129
00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:48,333
Let's see.
130
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,766
How's this?
131
00:06:50,767 --> 00:06:52,465
Too drab.
132
00:06:52,466 --> 00:06:54,666
Do you have anything in pink? I love pink.
133
00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:57,233
Mama says it brings out
the roses in my cheeks.
134
00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,350
Hm.
135
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,666
How about this?
136
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,133
Too Nancy Reagan.
137
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,866
Are you buying off the rack now?
138
00:07:07,633 --> 00:07:08,866
Entrez.
139
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,466
Yo, break out the double mint.
140
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,066
Don't have a heart attack, Lena.
It's just my cousin, Liza.
141
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:20,100
Liza, this is our
resident home girl, Lena.
142
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,533
Lena, Liza. Liza, Lena.
143
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,566
I like those funky threads.
144
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,266
Well, so much for pleasantries.
145
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,333
What can I do for you, Ms. James?
146
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,466
It's Breena in 205.
147
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:34,099
That girl ain't stopped boo-hooing
148
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,899
since that brother from Avery
dumped her for, uh, what's her name?
149
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:39,490
She won Miss Gilbert Hall last year.
She won over you.
150
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,933
Quanda Mason?
151
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,966
What's the brother from Avery's name?
152
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:46,266
Fine Frankie Taylor.
Makes you want to say, "Oh!"
153
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,566
Oh!
154
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,466
He asked me for my phone number once,
155
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:52,033
but I don't have a phone.
156
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,900
I guess financial aid
has to draw the line somewhere.
157
00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:59,100
Anyway, I can't concentrate on my work.
158
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:01,000
Fine. I'll call her.
159
00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:04,966
Lena, I could sure use your services.
160
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:08,566
I need some new outfits
and I really like your style.
161
00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:11,943
Join the club. You know, you can't just
get this stuff off the racks.
162
00:08:12,266 --> 00:08:14,233
Breena, have some pride.
163
00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:16,366
Believe me when I tell you,
164
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:19,400
you are the farthest thing
from Frankie's mind right now.
165
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,500
Don't get sad. Get even.
166
00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:24,083
Crazy glue?
167
00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:25,500
I like that.
168
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,033
Where are you two going?
169
00:08:28,034 --> 00:08:31,132
I'm going to take your cousin shopping.
170
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:33,700
Going to hook up
with some dope-dope-dope rags.
171
00:08:33,766 --> 00:08:37,256
Uh, no. I don't want my cousin looking
like she came out of the projects.
172
00:08:38,066 --> 00:08:40,766
Whitley was always afraid
of the ghetto, but not me.
173
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:42,166
I love gold chains.
174
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:44,233
Aunt Katherine told me to look after you.
175
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,100
And while you are on my campus,
176
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:47,933
you will do as I say.
177
00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:52,566
Whitley Marion, I want to go shopping.
178
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,766
Then when I get back,
we can have a little chit-chat
179
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,900
about my mama's plans for you.
180
00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:01,000
You know about that?
181
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,566
Mama tells me everything.
182
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,433
Come on.
183
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,800
He looks talented.
184
00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:22,366
Senior, handsome, brilliant and buffed.
185
00:09:23,066 --> 00:09:24,533
What's his father do?
186
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,500
I don't know. But he's on financial aid
with me.
187
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:28,800
Moving right along.
188
00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:38,883
What about him?
189
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:40,416
Who?
190
00:09:40,666 --> 00:09:41,716
Him.
191
00:09:41,717 --> 00:09:44,332
Oh, girlfriend, please,
get a grip on yourself.
192
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,033
That is Ron Johnson.
193
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:48,200
Class clown, fool-for-all-seasons,
194
00:09:48,266 --> 00:09:49,966
the J.J. of Hillman.
195
00:09:50,033 --> 00:09:52,533
That boy hits on anything
that has a pulse.
196
00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:55,766
What does his father do?
197
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:59,465
His father owns one of the largest
car dealerships in the state of Michigan,
198
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,766
which is a very good thing
'cause he's never going to graduate.
199
00:10:03,966 --> 00:10:05,366
Introduce us, please.
200
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,670
On second thought,
you're probably perfect for one another.
201
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:15,966
Your mama is so dumb,
she sold her car for gas money.
202
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,100
Excuse me, Ron.
203
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,533
- Excuse me.
- Whoo!
204
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,800
I hate to bother you
205
00:10:23,866 --> 00:10:26,633
while you're uplifting the race
and everything.
206
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:30,066
But, uh, there is a young lady
who would like to meet you.
207
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:31,733
Oh, a private audience?
208
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,166
Who's the lucky female?
209
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,700
Whitley's cousin, Liza.
210
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,233
Class dismissed.
211
00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:50,466
Ron, this is Liza.
212
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:54,166
- Huh.
- I hope I'm not disturbing you.
213
00:10:54,766 --> 00:10:56,000
Only my breathing.
214
00:10:57,566 --> 00:10:59,966
It's getting a little thick in here.
215
00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:02,333
Oh, Lena.
216
00:11:03,233 --> 00:11:05,066
Thank you for all your help.
217
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,866
Those outfits are really dopey.
218
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,466
No, no, no. See, that's "dope". Dope.
219
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:16,333
Those outfits are really dope.
220
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,333
Allow me. Allow me.
221
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,866
It's so nice to see a boy
with manners nowadays.
222
00:11:24,933 --> 00:11:26,766
Would you care for a beverage?
223
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,533
Iced tea sounds yummy.
224
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,366
Iced tea, yes.
225
00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:31,933
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
226
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,600
Give me two iced teas quick.
227
00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:37,600
Oh, look at you, smiling so big
you'll get your ears wet.
228
00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:42,466
New friend?
229
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,080
Haven't you met Whitley's cousin Liza?
230
00:11:45,633 --> 00:11:46,683
No.
231
00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:50,033
Oh, Well, give me two iced teas.
Come on, quicker.
232
00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:53,166
She looks a lot like Whitley.
233
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:54,666
Whitley?
234
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,833
Surely you jest.
235
00:11:56,900 --> 00:12:01,333
Anyone can see that Liza is a rare flower.
236
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:03,966
A delicate blossom.
237
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:08,296
Whitley, on the other hand,
belongs more to the cactus family.
238
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,766
You certainly sound poetic this afternoon.
239
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,233
I've always been a poet at heart.
240
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:19,033
I just needed the right woman
to bring out the splendor in the grass.
241
00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:23,983
Thank you.
242
00:12:23,984 --> 00:12:28,232
You know, I've been watching her,
Mr. Gaines.
243
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,000
- Mm-hmm.
- She looks at every man
244
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,266
as if he's a well-cooked pork chop.
245
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,233
Well,
put an apple in Ron's mouth
246
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,966
and the boy's ready for the oven.
247
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:40,333
A little sour to mix with the sweet?
248
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,450
Thank you.
249
00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:44,533
- Would you like some sugar with your tea?
- Oh.
250
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,800
Just a brief stir
with your pinky finger should be enough.
251
00:12:49,866 --> 00:12:51,266
Oh, Ron�
252
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,300
Oh, please.
253
00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:57,000
Does Jaleesa ever stop talking to you?
254
00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:58,566
- Of course!
- Really?
255
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:01,533
Man, that is the oldest trick
in the woman's handbook.
256
00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:02,632
Well, what do you do?
257
00:13:02,633 --> 00:13:06,600
Well, I nibble on her toes
till she hollers for mercy.
258
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,800
You put your mouth on Jaleesa's feet, man?
259
00:13:10,351 --> 00:13:12,365
Yeah, yeah.
260
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:13,416
Hello, gentlemen.
261
00:13:13,866 --> 00:13:16,600
Surely you have met
Whitley's cousin, Liza.
262
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,800
Whitley's cousin Liza.
263
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,800
Very nice to meet you. See you later, Ron.
264
00:13:22,733 --> 00:13:24,466
I'll be counting the seconds.
265
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:26,700
Whoo! Fine, isn't she?
266
00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,166
Whitley's cousin Liza.
267
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,033
Amazing. She's Whitley defanged.
268
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,033
Have you seen the�
�teeth?
269
00:13:35,666 --> 00:13:38,233
Are we jealous
because you got the original
270
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,766
and I got the new-and-improved model?
271
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,066
You think so, huh?
272
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:43,466
I'm done. This is it.
273
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,166
I'm finished shopping for life.
274
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:46,700
Oh, now hold on. Wait a minute.
275
00:13:46,766 --> 00:13:48,600
Now take it easy, all right?
276
00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:51,966
Colonel, who won the race
between the tortoise and the hare?
277
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,343
- The tortoise.
- The tortoise.
278
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:55,783
Yeah, whatever.
279
00:13:57,866 --> 00:14:00,333
I know she's going to be my first wife.
I know it.
280
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,450
Happy-
281
00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:04,765
- That explains it.
- Yeah, yeah. That does. That does.
282
00:14:04,766 --> 00:14:07,100
I should have known something was wrong
283
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,666
when she grabbed my butt.
284
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:11,365
Whoa. You mean, she grabbed your butt
285
00:14:11,366 --> 00:14:14,136
and you thought it was Whitley,
and you didn't tell me?
286
00:14:14,137 --> 00:14:15,699
I'll talk to you later.
287
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,090
- I got to split, okay?
- Hey.
288
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,666
I ought to smack her
right in her overbite,
289
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,833
but she keeps dangling
that curator position in my face.
290
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,433
The buck-toothed tramp!
291
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,666
I saw her yesterday in The Pit
hitting on all the men.
292
00:14:34,733 --> 00:14:36,033
She ended up with Ron.
293
00:14:37,233 --> 00:14:38,283
I can see that.
294
00:14:38,781 --> 00:14:42,432
You said she went to an all-girl school.
295
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:44,533
I guess she's making up for lost time.
296
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,866
I guess.
297
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:48,899
- Whitley, it's your little cousin, Liza.
- Shoot!
298
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,699
I don't want to talk to her right now.
Go tell her I'm not here.
299
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,632
You tell her.
I'm not doing your dirty work.
300
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,563
- No, I'm not. Jesus!
- Get in the closet.
301
00:15:01,366 --> 00:15:02,566
Whitley?
302
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:06,933
Anybody home?
303
00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:24,400
Hello, Whitley Gilbert's house.
304
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,266
Mama!
305
00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:28,883
It's me.
306
00:15:29,433 --> 00:15:30,483
Fine.
307
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,666
I have good news and bad news.
308
00:15:32,733 --> 00:15:34,266
The bad news is Whitley.
309
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,966
She hasn't aged very well,
and she's so snappy.
310
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:43,800
No, I don't think she'll be right
for that curator job.
311
00:15:43,866 --> 00:15:47,100
In fact, I have this letter
that her boyfriend gave her
312
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:48,766
and he called her immature.
313
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:53,400
Yeah, Betsy McDonald would be
a much better choice.
314
00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:55,833
Now, for the good news.
315
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:59,300
You were right.
If Whitley can find a man, so can I.
316
00:15:59,366 --> 00:16:01,466
His name is Ronald Johnson.
317
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:06,666
His daddy owns a car dealership in Detroit
318
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,200
and he has a moustache.
319
00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:11,083
Uh-huh.
320
00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:12,783
Mama�
321
00:16:13,566 --> 00:16:16,336
Mama, I have to go.
Whitley might come back at any minute.
322
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,566
Okay. Just call me at the hotel.
323
00:16:20,366 --> 00:16:21,766
Kiss, kiss, kiss. Bye.
324
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,600
I'll show her snappy.
325
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,966
That little witch
is going to ruin my future!
326
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,433
Where did she get this letter from?
327
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,600
I can't believe Dwayne called me immature.
328
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,133
She's just a gold digger.
329
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,300
She doesn't care anything about Ron.
330
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,933
What is all this sudden interest with Ron?
331
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:54,600
No reason.
332
00:16:55,466 --> 00:16:56,633
Don't give me that.
333
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,500
You like him.
334
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,866
Sure, I like him.
I mean, I've known him for years.
335
00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:07,466
What? Yes, I like him. You like him.
336
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,099
We all like Ron.
337
00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:14,066
Kimberly, what are we going to do?
338
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:17,383
Something mean.
339
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,099
Something cruel.
340
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,233
Something devious.
341
00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:26,333
Kimberly,
342
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,600
I am so proud of you.
343
00:17:35,966 --> 00:17:38,800
Honestly, Dwayne, Ron is your friend.
344
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:41,132
I shouldn't have to blackmail you
to help him.
345
00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:42,200
You don't listen.
346
00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:44,066
You are my woman and I love you.
347
00:17:44,133 --> 00:17:47,623
But if you ever tell me that you're
not speaking to me for a week again,
348
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,833
I will drop you like a bad habit.
349
00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:55,032
- Oh?
- Oh, and you know something?
350
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:55,932
I'm not through.
351
00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,999
I was a serious sports fan
before I met you.
352
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,499
You knew that then and know it now,
353
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:02,432
so please spare me those little
10-minute dramas your perform
354
00:18:02,433 --> 00:18:04,233
every time I want to go to a game. Okay?
355
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,733
I love it when you take charge, Daddy.
356
00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:17,900
I am lucky to have you.
357
00:18:18,466 --> 00:18:21,200
Yes, you are,
and don't you ever forget it.
358
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,533
I won't forget it.
359
00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:27,083
- Ron!
- Oh, forget him.
360
00:18:27,084 --> 00:18:28,899
I didn't finish telling you the plan.
361
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,500
Woman, I got plans of my own.
362
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:43,233
Liza, you look lovely.
363
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:44,666
That dress.
364
00:18:44,733 --> 00:18:45,933
Thank you.
365
00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:48,333
Ronnie gave it to me.
366
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,466
Just a little trinket to celebrate
our second anniversary.
367
00:18:51,533 --> 00:18:54,066
There are bigger
and better things to come.
368
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,766
I'm getting goose pimples.
369
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,316
Oh, bucky.
370
00:18:59,466 --> 00:19:02,233
I didn't realize you were so well-endowed.
371
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,466
Mama gave them to me for my 21st birthday.
372
00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:07,866
I'm hungry.
373
00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:09,466
Can I get some caviar?
374
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:13,000
Sure, for the same price
as a down payment on a Yugo.
375
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:18,966
Honey, remember we have to save
for our nest egg.
376
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,433
- Nest egg?
- Nest egg?
377
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:23,433
You only go around once, Ronnie.
378
00:19:25,066 --> 00:19:26,800
Champagne! Caviar!
379
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,200
Drinks on the house.
380
00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:34,800
So how is that nice boy
you used to go out with?
381
00:19:34,866 --> 00:19:36,833
Kenneth? He lied to me.
382
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:41,300
He said he was going to become a surgeon
after he graduated pre-med.
383
00:19:41,366 --> 00:19:43,466
So, he didn't graduate med school?
384
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,800
Worse. He became a musician.
385
00:19:46,866 --> 00:19:48,133
Oh!
386
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,533
More wine, Mutley?
387
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,333
All right, where is he?
388
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,766
Oh, no, you didn't.
389
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,400
Uh-oh.
390
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,800
There you are
with another one of your skeezers.
391
00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:01,699
Where do you get them all?
The happy hooker Yellow Pages?
392
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,700
Who� who is this woman?
393
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:06,533
- Kim, I think.
- Oh, you think now?
394
00:20:06,534 --> 00:20:08,865
Last night it was,
"My beautiful big-butt bean pie,
395
00:20:08,866 --> 00:20:10,733
baby, come give me some sweet sugar."
396
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,600
Bean pie?
What in the hell are you talking about?
397
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:17,766
Oh, and I suppose
you don't remember Laquesha,
398
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:22,333
Tonesha, Shawneenee, Prometheus,
and Ron Johnson Jr.?
399
00:20:23,866 --> 00:20:25,166
Is this your wife?
400
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,866
No. Tell her.
401
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:29,232
No, it's not his wife,
just the mother of his children.
402
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:31,700
I thought she was still in
that state hospital.
403
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,400
What in the hell is going on here?
404
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,233
This� this is awful.
405
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,066
And it's gonna get a lot worse!
406
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,876
I'll tell you what's going on,
you no-good, pink dog!
407
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:42,933
Spending all my money on a tramp!
408
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,466
Wait a minute. You can have him.
409
00:20:44,533 --> 00:20:47,333
I can get men with twice as much money.
This is peanuts.
410
00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:49,632
No, no, no. Liza, wait,
this is all a mistake. I swear.
411
00:20:49,633 --> 00:20:51,066
I'm going to Morehouse.
412
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:57,033
That's the best performance I've ever seen
413
00:20:57,034 --> 00:20:58,765
since Dorothy Dandridge in Carmen Jones.
414
00:20:58,766 --> 00:21:00,800
Thanks a lot.
415
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:02,600
You ruined my life.
416
00:21:02,666 --> 00:21:05,200
Oh, partner, get a grip.
That girl was bad news.
417
00:21:05,266 --> 00:21:07,006
She was manipulative, conniving�
418
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,600
Everything I love in a woman.
419
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,400
She's a man-eater.
420
00:21:16,466 --> 00:21:18,100
Always has been.
421
00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,466
Ever since the crib.
422
00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:21,966
She used to wink at men for lollipops.
423
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:24,033
She would've owned your daddy's car lot.
424
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,020
Kissing her was like kissing Mister Ed.
425
00:21:26,021 --> 00:21:29,765
This is not about ruining your game,
it's about saving you from a barracuda.
426
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,232
Oh, yeah, all right, all right.
427
00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:34,332
I know you're upset 'cause Kim ruined
your little love affair,
428
00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:36,143
- but there are bigger-
- Oh, shut up.
429
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:42,566
And Kim, not too many people
could walk around in public
430
00:21:42,633 --> 00:21:45,266
looking like Celie from The Color Purple�
431
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,066
But I appreciate it.
432
00:21:53,466 --> 00:21:54,766
Well�
433
00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:56,000
I got to go home.
434
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,633
Oh, I'll walk you home.
435
00:21:58,633 --> 00:21:59,683
Thanks, um�
436
00:22:00,566 --> 00:22:01,700
That's sweet.
437
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,133
You two aren't the only ones getting busy.
438
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,433
Tonight they are.
439
00:22:09,434 --> 00:22:10,782
Oh!
440
00:22:10,783 --> 00:22:15,333
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