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1
00:00:00,109 --> 00:00:01,844
He was a real spurter.
2
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,500
Yeah, must have had high blood pressure.
3
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,094
Should probably see a physician.
4
00:00:05,119 --> 00:00:06,337
Well, he definitely should now.
5
00:00:07,634 --> 00:00:09,209
Oh, Laszlo, I feel wild.
6
00:00:09,234 --> 00:00:11,484
I want to do something stupid and crazy.
7
00:00:11,509 --> 00:00:14,514
All right. What say we
retire to our bedchamber
8
00:00:14,539 --> 00:00:17,367
and slip into some
informal evening wear?
9
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,958
And by that, I mean the nude.
10
00:00:19,983 --> 00:00:22,816
Oh, Laszlo.
11
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:25,318
Laszlo?
12
00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:27,112
Shh. Look.
13
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,867
That's our new neighbor, Phil.
14
00:00:30,316 --> 00:00:33,275
Digestif, my darkest princess?
15
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,995
Laszlo, we've just eaten.
16
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:36,359
I want to do something different.
17
00:00:38,282 --> 00:00:40,304
Well, why don't I eat and you watch?
18
00:00:40,329 --> 00:00:41,373
That's kinky.
19
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:42,793
Is it?
20
00:00:42,818 --> 00:00:45,679
Bickering like a couple of ninnies.
21
00:00:45,704 --> 00:00:48,234
I know, right? It's like, "Sheesh.
We get it.
22
00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:49,939
You've been together for centuries."
23
00:00:49,964 --> 00:00:51,928
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
24
00:00:52,209 --> 00:00:53,472
Those are vampires.
25
00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:55,219
You don't get to insult them.
26
00:00:55,244 --> 00:00:57,100
- I was just...
- You're not a vampire.
27
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,786
- I'm sorry, Master.
- Geez.
28
00:00:58,812 --> 00:01:00,039
I mean, come on, we get it already.
29
00:01:00,064 --> 00:01:02,196
You've been married for centuries.
30
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:03,858
Watch this.
31
00:01:04,870 --> 00:01:06,318
Bat.
32
00:01:11,218 --> 00:01:13,283
Just get on with it, Laszlo.
33
00:01:15,869 --> 00:01:17,828
Come to me, Phil.
34
00:01:17,853 --> 00:01:20,499
Submit to my dark power.
35
00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,000
Submit to my dark power.
36
00:01:24,025 --> 00:01:26,085
When was the last time
I felt his dark power?
37
00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:28,340
I say come to me, Phil.
38
00:01:28,564 --> 00:01:30,734
I'm not staying for this.
You're being very boring.
39
00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:32,328
Submit to my dark power.
40
00:01:33,770 --> 00:01:35,578
Phil? I'm home.
41
00:01:35,603 --> 00:01:37,562
- Phil? Who are you talking to?
- Shit. Bat!
42
00:01:45,983 --> 00:01:48,019
- Oh!
- Oh, shit.
43
00:01:48,044 --> 00:01:49,306
The fuck?
44
00:01:49,331 --> 00:01:50,359
Ooh...
45
00:02:18,852 --> 00:02:23,696
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
46
00:02:24,258 --> 00:02:26,478
- Come on.
- What's going on?
47
00:02:26,631 --> 00:02:28,453
Laszlo was over at Phil's house.
48
00:02:28,478 --> 00:02:29,265
Okay.
49
00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:31,466
And Phil's girlfriend
hit him over the head
50
00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:33,352
- and knocked him unconscious.
- Okay.
51
00:02:33,377 --> 00:02:34,820
So now we need to rescue him.
52
00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:36,107
Well, where's Nadja, though?
53
00:02:36,132 --> 00:02:37,659
I don't know.
54
00:02:38,598 --> 00:02:42,453
Obviously, being in a marriage
for centuries can get boring.
55
00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:44,726
And it is in these moments
of dissatisfaction
56
00:02:44,751 --> 00:02:48,920
that I think about my
human ex-lover, Gregor.
57
00:02:49,156 --> 00:02:52,048
Oh, he is the most fantastic of men.
58
00:02:54,088 --> 00:02:55,929
If I did have to give
one criticism, though,
59
00:02:55,954 --> 00:02:58,407
it would be that he did accidentally get
60
00:02:58,432 --> 00:03:00,391
his head cut off in every life he's had.
61
00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:04,269
Such short, sweet lives.
62
00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:07,396
Shit. Shit, shit.
63
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,958
No, no, no, no, no, no.
64
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,425
Please take the ticket.
65
00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:19,575
Holy shit. Wow.
66
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,678
He has been reincarnated again.
67
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,372
And in this life, he is called Jep...
68
00:03:24,707 --> 00:03:26,666
Jean. Jange.
69
00:03:26,691 --> 00:03:30,462
Uh, no, it's, um, Jex.
70
00:03:30,937 --> 00:03:33,359
Jesh. Jenk?
71
00:03:33,579 --> 00:03:36,092
It-it sounds like Jesh.
72
00:03:36,412 --> 00:03:38,742
But, no doubt, he has been reborn
73
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,476
as another heroic figure.
74
00:03:40,501 --> 00:03:42,187
Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no!
75
00:03:42,212 --> 00:03:43,779
I told you guys, okay,
you're not supposed
76
00:03:43,804 --> 00:03:45,734
to come in here unless you
have a car, all right?
77
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,563
And, uh, those don't
look like cars, so...
78
00:03:47,588 --> 00:03:49,343
- You're not a cop, man.
- I'm not a...
79
00:03:49,368 --> 00:03:51,900
- You can't tell us what to do.
- All right, I'm taking your name down.
80
00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:53,819
I'm taking your name down. Hey.
81
00:03:53,844 --> 00:03:56,448
In the camouflage. I can still see you.
82
00:03:56,473 --> 00:03:57,336
All right,
83
00:03:57,361 --> 00:04:00,451
one of us needs to be
invited in and get Laszlo.
84
00:04:00,476 --> 00:04:02,217
I am nominating Guillermo,
85
00:04:02,261 --> 00:04:04,328
because I am too foreign
and you are too boring.
86
00:04:04,353 --> 00:04:06,532
Well, Guillermo doesn't
need to be invited,
87
00:04:06,557 --> 00:04:07,906
as he's a human being.
88
00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:10,376
I would prefer to be invited in.
It's more polite.
89
00:04:10,401 --> 00:04:13,172
Actually, it looks like
it's a moot point.
90
00:04:16,621 --> 00:04:18,550
They've stolen Laszlo.
91
00:04:23,436 --> 00:04:25,892
I'm not approaching him.
Just going to watch.
92
00:04:39,415 --> 00:04:43,218
Gregor. Gregor.
93
00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:46,412
He's not answering, 'cause
that-that is not his name.
94
00:04:47,265 --> 00:04:48,914
Jesk.
95
00:04:49,946 --> 00:04:52,460
Hey. Wow.
96
00:04:52,616 --> 00:04:55,532
What a wonderful shock
it is to see you here.
97
00:04:55,557 --> 00:04:57,476
- Yes.
- Do you think maybe
98
00:04:57,501 --> 00:05:00,919
you could let me into your
shelter of automobiles?
99
00:05:00,944 --> 00:05:01,946
What?
100
00:05:01,971 --> 00:05:04,843
Oh, uh, yeah. Come on in, of course.
Yeah.
101
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:08,370
Well, how have you been?
I-I didn't think
102
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,539
I'd ever see you again.
103
00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:11,453
You will always see me again.
104
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,316
Okay. Uh, this is where I work.
105
00:05:14,341 --> 00:05:16,945
Hence the... why I'm working here.
106
00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:18,615
- Amazing.
- Yeah.
107
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,863
You are protecting a vast empire.
108
00:05:21,061 --> 00:05:22,908
Three floors, yeah.
109
00:05:23,819 --> 00:05:25,577
Are the cameras with you?
110
00:05:25,837 --> 00:05:28,163
You don't see the cameras.
111
00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:31,041
Okay. Yeah. Come on in.
112
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:35,463
Oh, we got your birds, your rats...
people hate rats.
113
00:05:35,844 --> 00:05:37,193
Then you got your skunks.
114
00:05:37,218 --> 00:05:38,840
We get a lot of calls for skunks.
115
00:05:38,865 --> 00:05:41,801
I have to get closer to
see if he's in there.
116
00:05:45,205 --> 00:05:47,226
Sounds like an owl to me.
117
00:05:47,251 --> 00:05:49,518
So do you keep your horses
on one of the levels?
118
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:51,780
Uh, no. There was a Jaguar in here once.
119
00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:53,813
It's a pretty nice car. Just
thought it was pretty cool.
120
00:05:53,877 --> 00:05:56,961
I have met Gregor in many incarnations.
121
00:05:56,986 --> 00:06:00,976
Soldier, spy, wax seller, monger,
122
00:06:01,132 --> 00:06:04,699
carpet monger, suitcase monger,
123
00:06:05,276 --> 00:06:08,046
fishmonger, fly monger.
124
00:06:08,071 --> 00:06:10,334
He mongers a lot in his lives.
125
00:06:10,359 --> 00:06:12,906
Your job is so complicated, Gregor.
126
00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,429
- Oh...
- So stimulating.
127
00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:16,413
No.
128
00:06:16,438 --> 00:06:18,353
A-Again, you know, it, uh...
it's "Jeff."
129
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,596
Shh.
130
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:22,669
I have crossed oceans
of time to be with you.
131
00:06:23,827 --> 00:06:25,960
-I'm imagining
swimming through time.
-Yes...
132
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,514
- But I have.
- Oh, wow.
133
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,656
Well, I'm gonna get off
work here, in a second.
134
00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:34,484
I just got a little bit more to
do, if you want to hang out.
135
00:06:34,509 --> 00:06:37,773
Oh, it is forbidden,
but ten, 15 minutes?
136
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,194
- Yes, that's great.
- I will see you then.
137
00:06:40,219 --> 00:06:41,890
Okay, cool.
138
00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:45,621
He's always got a very,
very strong sexual energy
139
00:06:45,646 --> 00:06:48,535
that calls to my sexual energy.
140
00:06:48,780 --> 00:06:50,516
Deeply sexual.
141
00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:52,454
That's Gregor.
142
00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:56,542
So, our roommate, Laszlo,
was knocked unconscious
143
00:06:56,567 --> 00:07:00,729
whilst in bat form by our
neighbor, uh, Phil's girlfriend,
144
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,992
and he's now caged and
inside the animal shelter.
145
00:07:05,017 --> 00:07:09,347
Uh, uh, Laszlo, not Phil,
our neighbor's girlfriend.
146
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:10,838
Yes.
147
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,809
We must get him out before daybreak.
148
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,314
Well, and that's the thing
149
00:07:14,339 --> 00:07:16,313
with these night walkers here, isn't it?
150
00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:18,940
You know, a little bit
of sunlight, and poof.
151
00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:21,218
They go up in flames.
152
00:07:21,243 --> 00:07:23,922
- I've never gone poof, but it's okay.
- Not yet.
153
00:07:24,056 --> 00:07:27,242
The vampires are always like, : "Ooh!
I'm a vampire.
154
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:30,660
I'm immortal. I'm... whatever."
155
00:07:30,773 --> 00:07:35,040
Well, okay. Well, how about
you go be immortal at brunch?
156
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,522
So what is the itinerary for tonight?
157
00:07:39,547 --> 00:07:41,505
Are you going to punish
your worst enemy?
158
00:07:41,549 --> 00:07:43,421
Embarrass him in front of his elders?
159
00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,375
- Oh, uh...
- Or are we going to destroy
160
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,272
the worst criminals from your village
161
00:07:47,297 --> 00:07:48,421
and I will help?
162
00:07:48,446 --> 00:07:49,953
Wait, in Staten Island?
163
00:07:50,126 --> 00:07:52,679
How about find some red witches
and cut their feet off?
164
00:07:52,704 --> 00:07:54,257
We could go to the carnival.
165
00:07:54,282 --> 00:07:56,781
I mean, they've got games there.
It's pretty dope.
166
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,462
It is like a freak show?
167
00:07:58,531 --> 00:07:59,578
I don't think you're
supposed to say that.
168
00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:01,822
We used to have a freak
show in my village.
169
00:08:01,847 --> 00:08:03,609
We would get given one balloon
170
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,361
between all my brothers and sisters.
171
00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:07,863
And then we would bite
at each other to get it.
172
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:11,125
One year, my sister bit
my brother's thigh,
173
00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:13,745
and then we sold the meat for money.
174
00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:17,379
Hello. C-Can we come in?
175
00:08:17,736 --> 00:08:21,126
Excuse us, can we come into the shelter?
176
00:08:21,383 --> 00:08:23,295
We're open till 11:00.
177
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,022
- Okay, that's great.
- We see that.
178
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,010
Can we come in?
179
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,345
Yeah, come in.
180
00:08:34,476 --> 00:08:36,042
How's your night been, guys?
181
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,417
- It's none of your business.
- What are you... What?
182
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:40,827
- How's your night been?
- It's been fine.
183
00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:42,482
Okay, good. Ours has, too.
184
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,671
Isn't this the one that
you ate last week?
185
00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:47,819
I didn't. I wouldn't.
186
00:08:50,402 --> 00:08:51,882
It's locked.
187
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,451
You guys looking for the bathroom?
188
00:08:53,592 --> 00:08:55,035
I need to do a two.
189
00:08:55,262 --> 00:08:57,289
It's right behind you, man. That door.
190
00:08:59,115 --> 00:09:01,084
Wait. Where are you going?
191
00:09:01,109 --> 00:09:02,906
They're not happy tonight, Bobby.
192
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:04,953
- Yeah, what's up?
- Oh, I brought in a bat.
193
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:05,594
Okay.
194
00:09:05,619 --> 00:09:07,109
A little fella, you got to see this guy.
195
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:10,234
- Look at his face.
- Yeah.
196
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,102
This guy looks like a
little English guy.
197
00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,825
Yeah, he's a little,
little British chap.
198
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,591
Wait, wait, wait, let me blow
him up there. Look at...
199
00:09:15,616 --> 00:09:17,578
- You see something? You see something?
- No way.
200
00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:20,234
That is a bat's erect
penis on that screen.
201
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,312
Laszlo's.
202
00:09:21,337 --> 00:09:22,289
Okay.
203
00:09:22,314 --> 00:09:24,277
We're gonna have to get
him a little rabies shot.
204
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:27,697
I want you to bring me the
strange bat with the erection.
205
00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:30,446
Wait, hang on a second.
Can you imagine him
206
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:33,385
with that little British
top hat, like, "Whoo..."
207
00:09:33,410 --> 00:09:34,421
- Like a little explorer.
- I don't think that worked.
208
00:09:34,446 --> 00:09:37,210
- I know.
- Not so hot at hypnotism, huh?
209
00:09:37,235 --> 00:09:40,412
I'm fine at hypnotism; it's just
you can't hypnotize a subject
210
00:09:40,437 --> 00:09:41,787
that doesn't want to do something
211
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:43,250
that you want them to do.
212
00:09:43,511 --> 00:09:46,634
If the only time you
can hypnotize someone
213
00:09:46,659 --> 00:09:50,554
is when you have them do
something they want to do,
214
00:09:50,579 --> 00:09:52,504
then it's not really hypnotism, is it?
215
00:09:55,204 --> 00:09:56,988
Wait a minute, can we help you guys?
216
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,581
Uh, yeah. We're actually
looking for a lost pet.
217
00:10:00,605 --> 00:10:01,875
- Oh. Okay.
- Okay.
218
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,990
- What kind of pet is it?
- A normal one.
219
00:10:05,015 --> 00:10:06,609
Like, a bat.
220
00:10:06,634 --> 00:10:08,418
Oh, now, bats are illegal.
221
00:10:08,443 --> 00:10:09,985
He said "cat," ma'am.
222
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,662
Well, if you have any
sort of missing animal,
223
00:10:11,687 --> 00:10:13,749
then you just need to fill
out the required paperwork,
224
00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:15,515
and then we'll go have a
look in the back for you.
225
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:16,889
Fine.
226
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:23,563
Gregor doesn't know I am not human
227
00:10:23,607 --> 00:10:27,673
and I cannot do certain
things, like eat human food.
228
00:10:27,698 --> 00:10:30,007
Hey. I got us some popcorn.
229
00:10:30,032 --> 00:10:32,121
What is it?
230
00:10:32,578 --> 00:10:34,469
Popcorn? You've never had popcorn?
231
00:10:34,494 --> 00:10:36,147
- You're gonna love it. Here, try it.
- Oh.
232
00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:37,726
- Just try one piece.
- Oh, I'm-I'm... No, I...
233
00:10:37,751 --> 00:10:39,789
- No, just come on, just...
- Ooh, wait a minute.
234
00:10:39,814 --> 00:10:41,729
Got it? No, just... let
me put it in your mouth.
235
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:42,757
If you just...
236
00:10:42,782 --> 00:10:44,768
If it touches your tongue, it'll stay.
237
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,397
It sticks to your tongue.
238
00:10:46,422 --> 00:10:47,946
That's what's kind of fun about it.
239
00:10:47,971 --> 00:10:49,567
There you go. Yeah.
240
00:10:49,592 --> 00:10:52,569
Mm. Hmm.
241
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:04,286
Mm. That was so nice.
242
00:11:04,311 --> 00:11:05,601
- Yeah.
- Hey, do you want more?
243
00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:07,323
- Oh, no. I'm-I'm okay.
- I got a whole bucket.
244
00:11:07,348 --> 00:11:09,612
No! No. No.
245
00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:13,234
Okay, so the ASBN-119 I need, but...
246
00:11:13,259 --> 00:11:16,636
MA-553 is of no use to
me whatsoever, correct?
247
00:11:16,684 --> 00:11:18,703
Uh, exactly.
248
00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:21,808
I'm trying to find an open window.
249
00:11:23,151 --> 00:11:25,143
I think I found one.
250
00:11:32,232 --> 00:11:33,819
Laszlo.
251
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,544
There you are.
252
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,824
I've come to rescue you.
253
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:55,525
Gregor. It is your beloved weapon.
254
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:57,932
You are the master archer.
255
00:11:57,957 --> 00:12:00,846
Yeah. I... I am pretty
good at this in VR.
256
00:12:00,871 --> 00:12:03,917
Behold the great Gregor the archer.
257
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:05,448
It's Jeff.
258
00:12:05,473 --> 00:12:08,103
Bring this place to its knees.
259
00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:12,057
Oh, shit.
260
00:12:12,127 --> 00:12:14,315
Imagine it is a horde of Turkish.
261
00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:16,530
- Horde of what?
- Kill them.
262
00:12:19,641 --> 00:12:21,213
I kind of suck at this. I don't know.
263
00:12:21,238 --> 00:12:23,368
What has happened to you?
264
00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,779
Stupid.
265
00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:27,549
We are out, we are out, we are out.
266
00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:29,709
Here. Guillermo.
267
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:32,651
This is the third animal
shelter I visited.
268
00:12:32,676 --> 00:12:34,604
- We did it?
- Yes, yes, yes.
269
00:12:35,783 --> 00:12:38,134
Laszlo, you are free now.
270
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:41,095
So be free.
271
00:12:42,797 --> 00:12:44,627
- Oh...
- You're welcome.
272
00:12:44,652 --> 00:12:47,018
- Yeah.
- Fucking guy.
273
00:12:47,622 --> 00:12:49,624
Are you guys sure it was him?
274
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,319
Where the fuck am I?
275
00:12:56,344 --> 00:12:58,154
I say!
276
00:12:59,058 --> 00:13:00,448
Release me.
277
00:13:00,473 --> 00:13:04,410
So, what just happened is
that Nandor took a bat
278
00:13:04,652 --> 00:13:06,621
that was being treated here,
279
00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:09,910
and he just re released
it into the wild.
280
00:13:09,935 --> 00:13:11,918
Uh, a sick, sick bat.
281
00:13:11,943 --> 00:13:14,026
Do you think I might have rabies now?
282
00:13:14,051 --> 00:13:16,783
- Possible.
- Not now, Guillermo.
283
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,347
I just don't know how it's
my responsibility to pay
284
00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:21,507
for both Internet and cable.
When you have a roommate,
285
00:13:21,532 --> 00:13:23,370
you're supposed to kind of split
everything down the middle.
286
00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:26,311
- This is a misery for my ears.
- I know, I just...
287
00:13:26,336 --> 00:13:29,019
- Nice outfit, freak.
- Goth sucks.
288
00:13:29,525 --> 00:13:31,789
You mustn't kill them, please.
289
00:13:32,113 --> 00:13:35,886
- Oh, no, I wasn't gonna do anything.
- Really? Huh.
290
00:13:35,911 --> 00:13:38,778
Yeah. I... you know, I see a lot
of this as a security guard,
291
00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:40,488
and the best way to handle this...
292
00:13:41,768 --> 00:13:43,875
Congratulations. We have a winner!
293
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,661
What happened?-He was
playing the game wrong.
294
00:13:48,691 --> 00:13:51,422
I cannot believe how
boring Gregor has become.
295
00:13:51,447 --> 00:13:53,834
In every other past life,
he was so exhilarating.
296
00:13:53,859 --> 00:13:54,961
Such a maverick.
297
00:13:54,986 --> 00:13:56,727
You know, when he was a washer woman,
298
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,929
he would pour dirty old mop
juice all over my body
299
00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:02,176
and rub it into me while he ravished me.
300
00:14:02,201 --> 00:14:04,479
When he was a wild horse...
301
00:14:04,504 --> 00:14:06,806
I rode him naked all
throughout the countryside.
302
00:14:06,831 --> 00:14:08,891
But this version of Gregor?
303
00:14:09,024 --> 00:14:10,810
It is a boring disgrace.
304
00:14:10,835 --> 00:14:15,106
And you know what? It's because
they named him Jeps. Jeff.
305
00:14:15,302 --> 00:14:17,108
Wow, you were really good at ring toss.
306
00:14:17,133 --> 00:14:19,135
- I had so much fun tonight.
- I cannot take this.
307
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,242
I cannot take how
boring you have become.
308
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:23,307
How are you supposed to be a strong,
309
00:14:23,332 --> 00:14:25,573
thrilling, powerful warrior and lover
310
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,209
with a name like Jeff?
311
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,050
It is like a weak ejaculation.
312
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:30,990
Okay.
313
00:14:31,015 --> 00:14:32,621
- Jeff.
- Okay, all right, all right.
314
00:14:32,646 --> 00:14:35,407
You know what? You're
being really rude to me
315
00:14:35,643 --> 00:14:38,753
and my Uncle Jeff, but
also Grandpa Jeff,
316
00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:41,316
- and that's where I draw the line.
- Go back.
317
00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:42,437
Remember.
318
00:14:42,462 --> 00:14:44,885
Remember who you are.
319
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:46,763
Ah...
320
00:14:51,619 --> 00:14:54,895
I am standing on the crest of a hill.
321
00:14:55,107 --> 00:14:57,534
Atop the Carpathian Mountains.
322
00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:01,016
I am victorious from battle.
323
00:15:02,762 --> 00:15:04,322
But I am punctured...
324
00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:06,032
by many arrow.
325
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,868
Yet I survive.
326
00:15:09,217 --> 00:15:11,745
I must survive...
327
00:15:12,151 --> 00:15:13,915
to see my lover.
328
00:15:14,656 --> 00:15:16,222
Nadja.
329
00:15:16,642 --> 00:15:19,629
Love... will get me through.
330
00:15:20,084 --> 00:15:23,549
Desire... will fuel my journey.
331
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,217
Oh, Gregor...
332
00:15:25,242 --> 00:15:27,845
- it is you.
- Hark.
333
00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,015
A rider approaches.
334
00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:32,541
He is wielding a sword.
335
00:15:32,687 --> 00:15:34,471
It comes towards me,
336
00:15:34,522 --> 00:15:36,350
aiming directly for my hea...
337
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,377
Oh, next life.
338
00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:41,359
Be down in a minute, sire.
339
00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:44,675
This mop...
340
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,490
It is as full of water as I am desire.
341
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,549
I want to, but I mustn't.
342
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,925
- No, you can.
- No, he will hear.
343
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,948
Just one little kiss with our lips.
344
00:15:53,973 --> 00:15:56,415
He will be so angry.-Just
stick our mouths together.
345
00:15:57,484 --> 00:16:00,962
- Oh, no, sir,
not my head.
- Next!
346
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,988
_
347
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:15,060
Silence, my four-legged friends.
348
00:16:15,085 --> 00:16:18,045
I sense you are angry tonight.
349
00:16:18,256 --> 00:16:20,022
And with good reason.
350
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:21,867
For we have been imprisoned.
351
00:16:21,892 --> 00:16:24,276
Yes, without trial.
352
00:16:24,381 --> 00:16:27,838
Now is the time to hoist our oars
353
00:16:28,018 --> 00:16:30,533
and row towards freedom.
354
00:16:30,558 --> 00:16:31,690
Agreed?
355
00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:34,035
Thank you.
356
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,605
Now, I'm assuming
357
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:40,459
that there is a cat in
the cage to my right.
358
00:16:40,484 --> 00:16:42,486
Excellent.
359
00:16:42,511 --> 00:16:46,167
You will succumb to my dark power,
360
00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:48,759
and you will undo your latch
361
00:16:48,784 --> 00:16:50,845
and free me.
362
00:16:51,204 --> 00:16:54,056
Loosen your latch and free me.
363
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,778
- All right...
- Succumb... Shit.
364
00:16:55,803 --> 00:16:57,745
- Bat.
- Here you go.
365
00:16:57,770 --> 00:17:01,105
Over here. You know your spot.
366
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:02,774
There you go.
367
00:17:02,799 --> 00:17:04,442
Home, sweet home.
368
00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,251
Be good.
369
00:17:06,831 --> 00:17:09,237
All right. Night, fellas.
370
00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:12,742
Woof, woof.
371
00:17:13,194 --> 00:17:16,081
- Nandor? Is that you?
- Yes.
372
00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:19,109
I turned myself into a dog
to come and rescue you.
373
00:17:19,134 --> 00:17:22,237
Hang on a second... you
turned yourself into a dog
374
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:25,245
- in a place that imprisons dogs?
- I just thought I'd be
375
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:26,641
a bit creative and come and rescue you.
376
00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,401
You don't want me to rescue
you, I can go again.
377
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:29,883
And tell me how you do that.
378
00:17:29,908 --> 00:17:31,634
You're locked in a fucking cage.
379
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:32,901
Oh...
380
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,305
What's Nadja gonna say? Where is she?
381
00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:36,674
Uh...
382
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,852
No! Stop!
383
00:17:40,877 --> 00:17:44,384
- Stop!
- My Gregor, yes!
384
00:17:44,409 --> 00:17:46,107
Come on!
385
00:17:49,893 --> 00:17:51,590
Hey, not-a-cop.
386
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:58,151
Whoa, whoa. Holy shit.
387
00:18:18,454 --> 00:18:20,976
- Yes.
- We have defeated time itself.
388
00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:23,562
We have been drawn together.
389
00:18:23,646 --> 00:18:25,481
Let's make love right now.
390
00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:27,670
- Right here?
- Yeah, here.
391
00:18:27,695 --> 00:18:29,755
Right here on the dirty ground
in this filthy parking lot.
392
00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:31,857
Oh, I was hoping you would say that.
393
00:18:31,882 --> 00:18:34,155
- Yeah.
- Oh...
394
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,784
Oh, God. You want to get that?
Do you need to get that?
395
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:38,326
Hello?
396
00:18:38,697 --> 00:18:40,079
Hello, Guillermo.
397
00:18:40,464 --> 00:18:42,582
Yeah, I see.
398
00:18:43,015 --> 00:18:44,417
He did what?
399
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,669
I'm... Okay, yeah. Yeah.
400
00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:48,487
Yeah, yeah, okay. Bye-bye.
401
00:18:48,512 --> 00:18:50,253
Bye. Okay. Yeah.
402
00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:52,064
Sorry, I have to leave.
403
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,638
- Stay with me.
- I know.
404
00:18:53,663 --> 00:18:55,621
Let's make animalistic,
freaky sex right now.
405
00:18:55,646 --> 00:18:58,037
No, but somebody else needs me
406
00:18:58,062 --> 00:19:00,959
in a much less erotic way, but,
you know, it is what it is.
407
00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:03,978
But I've died for you, Nadja.
I've seen it.
408
00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:06,301
These visions are enough
to drive a man to madness.
409
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:08,404
Oh, it was only one
time you died for me.
410
00:19:08,429 --> 00:19:09,474
The other times were just accidents.
411
00:19:09,499 --> 00:19:10,904
A few hours ago, my life was normal,
412
00:19:10,929 --> 00:19:12,787
and now everything I
thought I knew was real
413
00:19:12,812 --> 00:19:14,335
has turned out to be an illusion.
414
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,406
I'm married with a husband. Farewell.
415
00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:19,868
No, no, Nadja. Nadja. Nadja!
416
00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:24,085
Oh, my God!
417
00:19:24,109 --> 00:19:26,936
Nadja?!
418
00:19:26,961 --> 00:19:29,654
And, like, I've also
noticed that some dogs
419
00:19:29,679 --> 00:19:31,510
are really, really big, and other dogs
420
00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:32,474
are really small...
421
00:19:32,499 --> 00:19:33,568
Oh, thank God.
422
00:19:33,593 --> 00:19:35,926
Sorry. Thank goodness.
423
00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:38,553
Laszlo and Nandor are in cages inside.
424
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:41,015
Please come in, ma'am.
425
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,350
Thank you.
426
00:19:42,785 --> 00:19:44,684
What is the code for your door?
427
00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:47,145
1-2-3-4-5.
428
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:49,689
- That's the code for the door?
- Uh-huh.
429
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:52,376
Humans, I can't...
430
00:19:54,178 --> 00:19:55,701
Yay, it's Nadja.
431
00:19:55,726 --> 00:19:57,510
Hello, my darling. What
are you doing here?
432
00:19:57,535 --> 00:20:00,146
- I've come to help you out of the cage.
- Absolutely no need.
433
00:20:00,171 --> 00:20:01,803
Mr. Cat next door...
434
00:20:01,828 --> 00:20:04,570
I was in the process of hypnotizing him.
435
00:20:04,595 --> 00:20:06,119
I was moments away from escaping.
436
00:20:06,144 --> 00:20:08,459
I don't know why you bothered coming.
437
00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:10,920
Sh-Shit.
438
00:20:11,331 --> 00:20:12,873
I've got to free my fellow inmates.
439
00:20:12,898 --> 00:20:14,421
I made a gentleman's promise.
440
00:20:14,641 --> 00:20:16,077
Well, the suspect stated
441
00:20:16,102 --> 00:20:19,041
that he is an ancient warrior
who's been reborn anew,
442
00:20:19,066 --> 00:20:20,748
- et cetera, et cetera.
- That's all the truth!
443
00:20:20,773 --> 00:20:23,390
You can ask my ex... we
were together ages ago.
444
00:20:23,415 --> 00:20:25,349
She turned into a pile of rats.
445
00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,932
Okay, buddy. I'll just
ask the pile of rats.
446
00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:29,193
I am Gregor!
447
00:20:29,218 --> 00:20:31,399
Victor of many battles.
448
00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:34,172
I am cleaning lady!
449
00:20:37,338 --> 00:20:40,210
Run and be free, my comrade.
450
00:20:40,235 --> 00:20:41,946
What the fuck?
451
00:20:46,292 --> 00:20:47,888
Still no thank-you?
452
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,437
Release your claws, you
ungrateful bastards.
453
00:20:50,735 --> 00:20:59,185
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
454
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,836
What We Do in the Shadows.
455
00:21:53,861 --> 00:21:57,219
All new Wednesdays at 10:00 on FX.
456
00:21:57,708 --> 00:21:59,623
Five, six, seven, eight.
32369
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