All language subtitles for The Twilight Zone (2019) - 01x05 - The Wunderkind.TBS.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,973 He's waking up. 2 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,591 Can you hear me, Mr. Hanks? 3 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,528 What's going on? 4 00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:31,833 Try to relax. 5 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,538 Do you know your name? 6 00:00:35,716 --> 00:00:37,013 Raff Hanks. 7 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,275 Great. 8 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,277 Do you know who the president is? 9 00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,411 Four more years! 10 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:48,111 Four more years! Four more years! 11 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,982 Four more years! 12 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,681 Four more years! Four more years! 13 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:57,294 Four more years! Four more years! 14 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,470 Four more years! 15 00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,124 Well, you did it. 16 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,821 We did it. 17 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,301 Four more years! 18 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,650 Stevens did it. 19 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:06,999 All right. 20 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:11,395 But with our help. Our numbers, our data. 21 00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,440 We gave him this election. 22 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,876 Can you not jinx things? 23 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,878 I mean, no one's even counted any votes yet. 24 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,316 Oh, God. 25 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,057 I almost forgot. 26 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,711 Guess what came in the mail today. 27 00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,954 Hmm. Subtle. 28 00:01:25,978 --> 00:01:28,368 They never thought Stevens would get reelected. 29 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,153 Especially not with me running his campaign. 30 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,241 They were wrong. 31 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,932 Again, can you just not jinx things? 32 00:01:32,956 --> 00:01:36,115 Come on, you've seen the polls. You see the crowds? 33 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,336 We took the most unpopular president in American history, 34 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,251 and we turned it around. 35 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,297 I want Justin Timberlake to play me in the HBO movie. 36 00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,169 You really think they're going to turn this into a movie? 37 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,605 Of course they are. 38 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:50,347 It's only the greatest comeback in American history. 39 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:53,176 Well, now you've really jinxed things, so... 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,179 Raff, Maura, the results are coming in. 41 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,441 The president wants to see you. 42 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,747 Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! 43 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:03,795 Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! 44 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,589 It all started out so well. 45 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,582 Do you know why you're here, Raff... 46 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,628 who did this to you? 47 00:02:11,177 --> 00:02:13,012 Do you know where you are? 48 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:14,931 Who are you? 49 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,476 I'm here by order of the president of the United States. 50 00:02:21,179 --> 00:02:22,644 Then I'm fucked. 51 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,845 Hey. 52 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,853 - Thanks. - Thank you. 53 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,139 What the fuck, Raff?! 54 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,792 Mr. President? 55 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,708 They're saying I just lost New York, 56 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:50,146 lost New Jersey. 57 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,191 I'm from fuckin' New Jersey. 58 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,846 I'm Mr. Fuckin' New Jersey! 59 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,891 We're losing the whole goddamn country! 60 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,764 - No, my data says... - Oh, your data's horseshit! 61 00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,635 I listened to you. 62 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:04,160 I listened to you. Your numbers and your polls 63 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,858 and your fancy data and your high-tech baloney. 64 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:10,514 And guess what. I lost. 65 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,212 I am a one-term joke. 66 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,259 I'm a diaper filled with baby shit, 67 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,537 and it is all your fault! 68 00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,497 Fuck! 69 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,967 Raff, listen, it's gonna be okay. All right? 70 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,795 You can come back from this. 71 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,256 I mean, you're the wunderkind, right? 72 00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:40,886 Voters are angry. 73 00:03:40,911 --> 00:03:42,497 After two years in office, the president is facing 74 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,848 increasing criticism for his handling of the economy, 75 00:03:44,873 --> 00:03:47,243 increasing crime, the environment, and foreign policy. 76 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,985 I mean, the world is a mess. 77 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,598 And these politicians, they're not helping anybody. 78 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,991 We should just throw out the whole system, 79 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,122 start over again. 80 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,124 Well, let me ask my distinguished panel. 81 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,170 What should the president do about the situation 82 00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,258 in the Middle East? 83 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,781 Thanks for asking, Sam. 84 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,088 "Well, you're one of the most admired 85 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,394 political minds in the business." 86 00:04:04,999 --> 00:04:07,043 That I am, Sam. 87 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,295 That I am. 88 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,904 I just can't pay my rent. 89 00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:17,257 Hey, buddy. 90 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,758 You really ran Stevens' campaign? 91 00:04:21,307 --> 00:04:24,457 I did. I ran it right into the ground. 92 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,334 In lighter news... 93 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,510 Tommy, come on, hit me with another. 94 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:36,142 ...look no further than 11-year-old YouTube sensation 95 00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:37,565 Oliver Foley. 96 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:41,648 His latest video is racking up millions of hits because 97 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,216 Oliver's running for president. 98 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,611 Oh, hey, hi. I'm Oliver Henry Foley, 99 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:52,485 and I'm announcing my candidacy for president of the USA. 100 00:04:52,922 --> 00:04:55,923 Here's why. I want people to be nice to each other. 101 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,361 I really do. I know it sounds cheesy, 102 00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,971 but it's the truth. 103 00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,235 And it's a good enough reason to run for president as any. 104 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,585 I also believe that everyone should go to school 105 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,978 and play video games, 106 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,154 because it's good for your hand-eye coordination. 107 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,636 I may be a kid, but I sure do get America. 108 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,943 It's the land of equality and freedom for everyone. 109 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,163 Except maybe my little sister. 110 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,078 You should run that kid's campaign. 111 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,299 - He tells it like it is. - That's crazy. 112 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,909 Eight million views crazy. 113 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,868 Considering all the crap coming out of Washington, 114 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,130 I'd vote for that kid in a heartbeat. 115 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:32,090 Me, too. I like what he's saying. 116 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,595 He's a little cutie. 117 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,755 Meet Raff Hanks, a wunderkind. 118 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,018 Once the most successful campaign manager 119 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,715 of his generation. 120 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:52,893 Now Raff finds himself in a valley of booze and regret. 121 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:57,202 One filled with bad choices and even worse polling. 122 00:05:57,226 --> 00:06:00,858 He's about to embark on a misguided road to redemption. 123 00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,816 And on his way back to the top, 124 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,123 he'll have to take a dark detour 125 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,367 through The Twilight Zone. 126 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,436 You're traveling through another dimension, 127 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:17,004 a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. 128 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,268 It is the middle ground between light and shadow, 129 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:23,010 between science and superstition. 130 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,578 And it lies between the pit of one's fears 131 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,451 and the summit of one's knowledge. 132 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:31,628 You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination. 133 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:35,210 You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone. 134 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:39,433 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 135 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:44,075 Mr. Hanks, you did a great service for our country. 136 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,990 Jesus. 137 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,787 Our country? 138 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,081 I saw an angle, man. 139 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,084 I saw my shot, I took it. 140 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:32,079 Mmm. This really is delicious. 141 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,907 - Mmm. - Tuesdays is spaghetti, 142 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,401 and Wednesdays is hamburgers. 143 00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:36,519 Cheeseburgers. 144 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,042 Cheeseburgers, if you're into that. 145 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,697 Can you pass the Parmesan cheese? 146 00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:43,221 - Oliver. - Yeah? 147 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,918 Do you really want to be president? 148 00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:48,269 Yep. I'm sick of all the war stuff 149 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,750 and the environment stuff and the fact that 150 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,231 everybody lies all the time 151 00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,751 and that we only get two weeks off at Christmas break. 152 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,684 Wait. If Oliver gets to be president, 153 00:07:57,708 --> 00:07:59,108 do I get to be vice president? 154 00:07:59,132 --> 00:08:01,819 Uh, maybe, honey. Eat your salad. 155 00:08:02,904 --> 00:08:04,851 I first started my YouTube channel 156 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,550 because my friend Charlie had one, and I wanted one, too. 157 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,813 Then I started vlogging about Minecraft, 158 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,336 which was sort of boring because Minecraftis 159 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,947 for little kids, and I'm not little anymore. 160 00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,862 Then I started vlogging about Fortnite, 161 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,494 which got me a bunch of views. 162 00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:19,692 But then I decided to run for president, 163 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,521 and I got 12 million views. 164 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,925 And then you showed up. 165 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,177 And then I showed up. 166 00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,401 What'd I just say? 167 00:08:30,097 --> 00:08:34,141 Really, Raff, why are you here? 168 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,317 I know this thing has gotten a lot of coverage, 169 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,450 but he's a kid, it's a joke. 170 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,973 Not to me. 171 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,410 People are really responding to what Oliver is saying. 172 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,325 - He's 11. - It's a technicality. 173 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,936 To being president. 174 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,807 Listen, your name will be on the ballot. 175 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,026 He'll just be the one in charge. 176 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:53,204 Oh. This is getting better and better. 177 00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,511 Listen, A-Andrew Johnson was a tailor. 178 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,425 Teddy Roosevelt was a rancher. 179 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,079 Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer. 180 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,603 This country is very open 181 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,909 to leaders without political baggage. 182 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:06,565 Raff, I googled you. I did some research. 183 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:09,307 I know you've had a hard run. You battled the booze... 184 00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:13,833 Joseph, I'm off it, completely. I am a new man. 185 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,358 I mean, I am drinking chamomile tea, for the love of Pete. 186 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,777 Well, still, we see what you're trying to do here. 187 00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:24,288 You're an opportunist. 188 00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:26,870 Of course I am. 189 00:09:28,906 --> 00:09:30,241 I need this. 190 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,202 This is what I do. 191 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,421 But Oliver, your son, has tapped into 192 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,032 something very, very real. 193 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,710 He connects with people. 194 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,646 Do you realize how rare that is in politics, 195 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,672 to actually connect with people? 196 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,826 I honestly believe Oliver can be president. 197 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,131 Come on, now... 198 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,656 And win or lose, when all this is said and done, 199 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,875 he will have had the experience of a lifetime. 200 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,356 And he will have made enough money from endorsements 201 00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,011 and TV deals and book deals to pay for his college 202 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,907 and Lily's college, the dog's college. 203 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,104 You'll have your face back on TV. 204 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:08,932 Exactly. 205 00:10:09,321 --> 00:10:11,978 Everybody wins, nobody gets hurt. 206 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,439 This is the American dream. 207 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,645 We're making a new video. Lily's gonna film it. 208 00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,750 You want to watch? It's gonna be awesome. 209 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,998 - Go. - Go? 210 00:10:35,022 --> 00:10:36,133 - Yes. - Now? 211 00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,701 - Go now. - Okay. Here are the ten things 212 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:42,182 I promise the American people if I'm elected president. 213 00:10:43,064 --> 00:10:45,044 Oh. Hi, Homer. 214 00:10:45,069 --> 00:10:47,448 This is Homer. Anyways, 215 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,369 number one: jobs. Jobs for everyone. 216 00:10:50,393 --> 00:10:54,151 Number two: long weekends, longer vacations. 217 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,154 Number three: less Star Warsmovies. 218 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,286 Number four: better air to breathe, 219 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,941 which means more bikes and less cars. 220 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,552 Number five: less war. 221 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:08,426 Number six: dogs for dog people and cats for cat people. 222 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,993 Number seven: 223 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,686 more pancake houses throughout the land, please. 224 00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:16,869 Number eight: free video games for every American! 225 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:20,629 Number nine: every month has to have its own holiday. 226 00:11:20,653 --> 00:11:24,057 Number ten: dessert is before dinner! 227 00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:28,577 Got hot dogs waiting on the bus. Ketchup and mustard. 228 00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:30,352 The little juice boxes like you like. 229 00:11:30,377 --> 00:11:31,659 And baby carrots? 230 00:11:31,683 --> 00:11:34,574 Of course. With ranch dressing. I'm no monster. 231 00:11:34,598 --> 00:11:37,011 We got CNN and Fox this afternoon, 232 00:11:37,035 --> 00:11:38,404 Rachel Maddow tonight. 233 00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:39,670 She's nice. 234 00:11:39,694 --> 00:11:41,451 Super nice. And you promised me 235 00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:42,887 the interview with the Times, remember? 236 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,497 Only if we can stop at the water park 237 00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:45,933 on the way back to the airport. 238 00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:47,169 You got it. 239 00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:50,029 Hey, what about the song? 240 00:11:50,053 --> 00:11:51,247 And the music video? 241 00:11:51,271 --> 00:11:53,084 I get a lot of views with my videos. 242 00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:55,425 Recording studio booked, dancers are rehearsing. 243 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:56,967 It's been two months now. 244 00:11:57,639 --> 00:11:59,431 You can do better, Raff. 245 00:12:01,324 --> 00:12:02,517 You're right. 246 00:12:02,685 --> 00:12:04,130 I can do better. 247 00:12:04,154 --> 00:12:05,305 Wow. 248 00:12:05,329 --> 00:12:07,089 The wunderkind and the wunderkind. 249 00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:09,220 Maura McGowan. 250 00:12:09,244 --> 00:12:12,268 What are you doing here on the mean streets of rural Iowa? 251 00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:15,472 I saw your mug on TV, figured I'd come say hi. 252 00:12:15,496 --> 00:12:17,732 You want to get the band back together again, don't you? 253 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,829 I wrote you off after Stevens. 254 00:12:23,216 --> 00:12:24,352 I was wrong. 255 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,239 "I was wrong." 256 00:12:26,263 --> 00:12:28,417 My three favorite words in the English language. 257 00:12:28,441 --> 00:12:29,960 Okay, don't push it. 258 00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:31,809 You know you missed me, Maura. 259 00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,507 A little bit. 260 00:12:37,404 --> 00:12:39,180 Good. Come on. 261 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:43,184 So what are we going to do, though, when it all, you know, 262 00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:45,214 blows up in our faces? 263 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,855 Look, Mr. Hanks, 264 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,859 we're going to have to operate. Your condition is not stable. 265 00:12:58,295 --> 00:13:01,493 I'm not sure that I ever was. 266 00:13:02,494 --> 00:13:05,408 A stable person would've seen what was happening. 267 00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,374 Hey. 268 00:13:25,398 --> 00:13:27,517 - Hey. - Those national ads done yet? 269 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,414 - We have that TV space on hold. - Almost. 270 00:13:29,438 --> 00:13:31,683 Oliver hasn't signed off yet completely, but he will. 271 00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:33,828 - He will. - I hope so. 272 00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:36,483 You know, his last set of notes were four pages long, 273 00:13:36,507 --> 00:13:38,354 all handwritten and mostly involved 274 00:13:38,378 --> 00:13:40,226 inserting more shots of his dog. 275 00:13:41,599 --> 00:13:43,229 He's smart. The kid's smart. 276 00:13:43,253 --> 00:13:44,578 Hey! 277 00:13:44,602 --> 00:13:46,536 I know. 278 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,451 So good. 279 00:13:55,308 --> 00:13:56,503 That's a cut! 280 00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,598 Man, that kid is cute, though. 281 00:14:04,622 --> 00:14:06,295 - Fuckin' A he is. - I'm sorry, we have 282 00:14:06,319 --> 00:14:07,514 that doctor's appointment to get to now. 283 00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:08,952 No way, Mom! 284 00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:11,102 Oliver, do not argue with your mother. 285 00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,867 I'm not going! I'm not. 286 00:14:12,891 --> 00:14:13,998 You're going to the doctor. 287 00:14:14,022 --> 00:14:15,086 End of discussion. 288 00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:16,262 - No! - Yes! 289 00:14:16,286 --> 00:14:18,351 - Bullshit! - Oliver! 290 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:20,527 I hate the doctor. It's always some old man 291 00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:22,355 with bad breath stabbing me with needles. 292 00:14:22,379 --> 00:14:23,834 The doctor is just there to make sure 293 00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:25,053 that you are good and healthy. 294 00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:26,359 I am healthy! 295 00:14:26,383 --> 00:14:27,925 I just danced for, like, five hours! 296 00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:29,024 You're going to the doctor. 297 00:14:29,048 --> 00:14:30,514 End of discussion, young man. 298 00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:32,096 - I hate you! - Oliver! 299 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,193 I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 300 00:14:34,217 --> 00:14:36,151 I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 301 00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:39,744 I hate you. I hate you. 302 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:43,237 I saw what I wanted to. 303 00:14:51,059 --> 00:14:53,647 Well, Oliver's not one of these greasy-palmed hucksters. 304 00:14:53,671 --> 00:14:55,295 We got plenty enough of those. 305 00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:56,824 There's something inspirational 306 00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:58,565 about starting off with someone fresh. 307 00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:01,002 You know, someone that believes in the things that I believe in. 308 00:15:04,015 --> 00:15:06,235 He wants to make this country stronger. 309 00:15:06,259 --> 00:15:07,685 I mean, he wants to bring us back to basics, 310 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,689 back to what made this, this nation great. 311 00:15:09,713 --> 00:15:11,360 My grandkids love him. 312 00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,880 He's making promises just like a politician would, 313 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,338 but Oliver Foley is undeniably different. 314 00:15:18,362 --> 00:15:21,073 There's a momentum here of a kind I haven't seen before. 315 00:15:21,097 --> 00:15:22,819 It doesn't matter how old he is to me. H-He could be 316 00:15:22,843 --> 00:15:25,041 eight years old, he could be eight months old for all I care. 317 00:15:25,065 --> 00:15:26,564 - He's got my vote. - What's amazing 318 00:15:26,588 --> 00:15:28,566 is that this kid is in the race at all, 319 00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:30,742 let alone now just six points down 320 00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:32,309 in the latest national polls. 321 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:35,138 Oliver Foley has captured the imagination 322 00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:36,617 of the American public. 323 00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,233 Oliver, 324 00:15:46,258 --> 00:15:49,065 your competitors have called you "uninformed, 325 00:15:49,089 --> 00:15:51,676 ill-informed, or not informed at all" 326 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,157 when it comes to global politics. 327 00:15:54,181 --> 00:15:55,810 Can you respond to their complaints? 328 00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:57,638 What do you feel we should be doing 329 00:15:57,662 --> 00:15:59,838 with our troops still in Iraq? 330 00:16:02,232 --> 00:16:05,211 I-I'm glad you asked me about Iraq. 331 00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:08,388 It's-it's an... it's an intriguing question, 332 00:16:08,412 --> 00:16:10,307 and it is well worth answering, 333 00:16:10,746 --> 00:16:15,104 just not in 60-second sound-bites. 334 00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:17,615 Wait. Hold on. 335 00:16:17,639 --> 00:16:19,007 I don't even know what that fucking means. 336 00:16:19,031 --> 00:16:21,184 - Language. - Sorry, but this is ridiculous. 337 00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:23,055 He hasn't memorized anything I've asked him to, 338 00:16:23,079 --> 00:16:26,189 and the first primary debate is one week away. 339 00:16:26,213 --> 00:16:28,365 I don't know why you hired me. He can't be coached. 340 00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:30,536 - It's a goddamn shit-show. - Enough! 341 00:16:31,777 --> 00:16:32,997 You're right, I don't know 342 00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:34,173 why I hired you, it wasa mistake. 343 00:16:34,198 --> 00:16:35,502 Frankly, we don't need another 344 00:16:35,526 --> 00:16:37,939 canned answer that people are gonna know is baloney. 345 00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,985 He's gonna be embarrassed. 346 00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:41,465 It's a joke and he's a sideshow. 347 00:16:41,489 --> 00:16:43,293 A sideshow who's only 348 00:16:43,317 --> 00:16:45,077 six points down in Iowa 349 00:16:45,101 --> 00:16:46,339 and whose latest music video 350 00:16:46,363 --> 00:16:48,602 has 56 million views. 351 00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:50,846 He's got you there, Larry. Kid knows his YouTube. 352 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:56,957 Larry... 353 00:16:57,940 --> 00:16:59,159 ...you're fired. 354 00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:06,664 Is he right, Raff? 355 00:17:06,688 --> 00:17:08,385 Am I gonna be embarrassed? 356 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:13,061 We have had decades of politicians 357 00:17:13,085 --> 00:17:14,498 who claim to know everything, 358 00:17:14,522 --> 00:17:17,438 and where has that taken this country, Oliver? 359 00:17:18,858 --> 00:17:21,295 It's taken us straight into the crapper. 360 00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:23,898 You're gonna be fine. 361 00:17:23,922 --> 00:17:25,716 You just do your thing, okay? 362 00:17:26,675 --> 00:17:28,469 Thanks, Raff. 363 00:17:30,277 --> 00:17:31,732 Oh. 364 00:17:40,504 --> 00:17:42,656 I mean, I guess I don't really understand taxes, 365 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,006 if that's really your qu-question. I mean, 366 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,712 taxes are good, except when they're bad. 367 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,620 But they're mostly good, right? 368 00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:51,665 - U-Um... uh... - Wow. 369 00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:55,234 Uh, except in Monopoly. Then they're bad. 370 00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:58,411 - And... - Hey, nice work there, guys. 371 00:17:58,435 --> 00:17:59,978 Real car accident. 372 00:18:00,002 --> 00:18:01,545 - You know what, Pete? - Just leave it. 373 00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,329 We were worried there for a little while, but this? 374 00:18:03,353 --> 00:18:05,113 - This is beautiful. - I think there's 375 00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:07,551 a dogcatcher race in Florenceville Junction, Raff. 376 00:18:07,575 --> 00:18:09,422 Maybe you could get on that campaign. 377 00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:11,107 That's really funny. That's really funny. 378 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,296 - Okay... Just let it go. - Congratulations. 379 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,341 We trusted you. 380 00:18:15,974 --> 00:18:18,498 Listen, your boy's gonna get his sea legs soon, I know it. 381 00:18:18,522 --> 00:18:20,085 I can feel it. He's gonna be fine. 382 00:18:20,109 --> 00:18:22,305 His sea legs? This is a disaster. 383 00:18:22,329 --> 00:18:24,220 - No. Joseph... - They're destroying him, Raff. 384 00:18:24,244 --> 00:18:25,934 They're destroying my boy. 385 00:18:26,258 --> 00:18:27,919 - No, he's gonna be f... - Lily, Lily, sweetheart... 386 00:18:27,943 --> 00:18:29,355 He's gonna be... you guys. 387 00:18:29,379 --> 00:18:31,009 Come on. You guys... 388 00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:36,778 Mom? 389 00:18:40,216 --> 00:18:43,064 Mom? Mom? 390 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,481 Mom. 391 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,783 Try to relax. 392 00:19:05,807 --> 00:19:09,265 If you're gonna do it, just do it. 393 00:19:09,289 --> 00:19:12,920 The doctor was held up. He's on a... different level. 394 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,070 He's on his way. 395 00:19:14,094 --> 00:19:16,272 - God! - Mr. Hanks! 396 00:19:16,296 --> 00:19:19,318 Put me under! Save my life or let me die, man! 397 00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:25,977 Two days before Iowa votes in the first caucus 398 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:29,502 or primary of the season, the race is truly shaping up 399 00:19:29,526 --> 00:19:32,723 after the embarrassing flameout of 11-year-old Oliver Foley 400 00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:35,726 in a disastrous campaign led by Raff Hanks, 401 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:40,407 one that will be analyzed and joked about for decades to... 402 00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,690 Thanks for taking pity on me, Tommy. 403 00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:45,257 I don't have pity on you, Raff. 404 00:19:45,281 --> 00:19:47,215 I just don't want you crying in the bar again. 405 00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:48,650 Scares the customers. 406 00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,028 Right. 407 00:19:56,858 --> 00:20:01,012 Well, so much for that chamomile tea phase, huh? 408 00:20:01,496 --> 00:20:04,145 Yeah, I replaced it with the "decimate your liver" phase. 409 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:05,398 It's much more enjoyable. 410 00:20:05,422 --> 00:20:07,410 Tommy, would you get this fine lady 411 00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:08,976 a bourbon on the rocks, please? 412 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,977 Make it a double, please. 413 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,805 Oh, that's my girl. 414 00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,329 How you holding up? 415 00:20:13,675 --> 00:20:15,983 Well, better than you are, apparently. 416 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,682 Thanks. 417 00:20:18,706 --> 00:20:21,926 Oh, wow. 418 00:20:22,927 --> 00:20:24,775 So what are you doing here? 419 00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:26,167 I got things to do. 420 00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,213 I got nuts to eat. I got beer to cry into. 421 00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:32,304 No, I really am here, actually, to see how you're doing. 422 00:20:32,736 --> 00:20:34,290 And from the looks of things, 423 00:20:34,314 --> 00:20:37,831 it's... not a pretty picture. 424 00:20:38,492 --> 00:20:40,243 You know what the worst part is? 425 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:42,829 Hmm? 426 00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,752 I started this whole thing to get out of the mess I was in, 427 00:20:45,776 --> 00:20:47,101 but somewhere along the line, 428 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:50,061 I started liking what the kid was saying. 429 00:20:50,587 --> 00:20:51,976 Uh-oh. 430 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,448 - Yeah. - Not the whole 431 00:20:53,472 --> 00:20:55,849 "I actually believe my candidate" story. 432 00:20:55,873 --> 00:20:57,460 I do believe in him. 433 00:20:57,484 --> 00:20:59,888 All right, he didn't know shit about the tax code. 434 00:21:00,312 --> 00:21:01,855 But he was human. 435 00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:03,509 He was vulnerable, and that's more than I can say 436 00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:05,206 about everybody else up there. 437 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:08,253 You know, I never should have let him go on the debate stage. 438 00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:09,981 He should've kept making his videos. 439 00:21:10,005 --> 00:21:11,996 We could've done one about world peace. 440 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,520 He could've been holding a-a homemade globe, 441 00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:16,000 and everyone would have eaten it up, and no one 442 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,219 - would give a shit about the debate. - You know what? 443 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:20,089 It's too late now. Right? 444 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,201 Yeah. 445 00:21:21,986 --> 00:21:23,578 Yeah, it's too late. 446 00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:26,607 You know, I actually stopped by their place. 447 00:21:26,748 --> 00:21:28,404 The Foleys. 448 00:21:28,428 --> 00:21:29,535 You did? How they doing? 449 00:21:30,127 --> 00:21:32,146 Um... to be expected. 450 00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:33,296 Maybe... 451 00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:35,696 a little bit worse. 452 00:21:37,092 --> 00:21:38,892 Well, you know their dog, Homer? 453 00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:40,372 Yeah? 454 00:21:40,396 --> 00:21:42,548 He's got some kind of cancer. He's gonna die. 455 00:21:42,572 --> 00:21:45,377 No. No. 456 00:21:45,401 --> 00:21:46,733 Yeah. 457 00:21:46,757 --> 00:21:49,337 Oh, God, I fucked everything up. 458 00:21:49,361 --> 00:21:50,730 I even killed their dog. 459 00:21:51,773 --> 00:21:53,429 Oliver says hi, though. 460 00:21:54,276 --> 00:21:55,779 He did? 461 00:21:55,803 --> 00:21:57,389 He doesn't blame you. 462 00:21:57,413 --> 00:21:59,260 He wanted me to tell you that. 463 00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:00,866 Oh, he's a good kid. 464 00:22:01,461 --> 00:22:03,526 He also wanted me to ask you if you thought it was okay 465 00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:06,442 for him to post a vlog about his dying dog. 466 00:22:06,913 --> 00:22:08,400 Why not, I guess. 467 00:22:08,424 --> 00:22:09,750 I mean, that's what I said. 468 00:22:10,959 --> 00:22:13,361 It's really sad, you know? 469 00:22:14,045 --> 00:22:16,173 I mean, it's sweet how much he... 470 00:22:17,257 --> 00:22:19,301 cares about that poor animal. 471 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,098 Oh, Jesus. 472 00:22:26,349 --> 00:22:27,481 It's perfect. 473 00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,727 A vlog about a dying dog. 474 00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:33,294 Oh, my God, provided it's done correctly, it's perfect. 475 00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,340 - Raff... - Are we on the ballot still? 476 00:22:35,364 --> 00:22:37,319 Please tell me we are still on the ballot. 477 00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:40,519 It was too late to get us taken off, but... 478 00:22:40,543 --> 00:22:42,491 Raff, what are you doing? 479 00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,045 I am getting Oliver Foley elected president 480 00:22:45,069 --> 00:22:46,394 of the United States of America. 481 00:22:46,418 --> 00:22:48,595 We're winning this goddamn election! 482 00:22:54,296 --> 00:22:55,645 That's not good. 483 00:22:58,605 --> 00:23:01,279 This is Homer. My dog. 484 00:23:01,303 --> 00:23:02,585 He's a Labradoodle. 485 00:23:02,609 --> 00:23:04,151 I've known him my whole life. 486 00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:07,590 He's the best dog in the whole wide world. 487 00:23:07,614 --> 00:23:09,635 He's also dying. 488 00:23:09,659 --> 00:23:10,984 He has cancer. 489 00:23:11,008 --> 00:23:13,924 A dog type of cancer that's sort of incurable. 490 00:23:15,622 --> 00:23:17,208 Come on. Come over. 491 00:23:17,232 --> 00:23:19,123 This is my sister Lily. 492 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,612 And these are my parents. 493 00:23:22,019 --> 00:23:23,867 It's pretty clear I don't know nearly enough 494 00:23:23,891 --> 00:23:25,390 to be president alone. 495 00:23:25,414 --> 00:23:27,087 But if you elect me, 496 00:23:27,111 --> 00:23:30,351 I'll surround myself with the nicest and smartest people. 497 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,528 I'll work so hard to make you proud 498 00:23:32,552 --> 00:23:35,922 and make sure that you can hug your sick pets longer 499 00:23:35,946 --> 00:23:39,752 and that you'll get to spend as many healthy days as possible 500 00:23:39,776 --> 00:23:41,188 with the ones you love. 501 00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:44,738 Because family... family's everything. 502 00:23:57,838 --> 00:24:01,382 Oliver Foley, surprising every pollster in Iowa, 503 00:24:01,406 --> 00:24:03,036 has won the first caucus. 504 00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:05,343 In a stunning come- from-behind upset, 505 00:24:05,367 --> 00:24:08,912 11-year-old Oliver Foley has won the Iowa caucus. 506 00:24:12,548 --> 00:24:13,917 I don't know why people are so surprised. 507 00:24:13,941 --> 00:24:16,528 I mean, Oliver really connects with people. 508 00:24:16,552 --> 00:24:18,008 He was the 13th story on the news, 509 00:24:18,032 --> 00:24:20,532 and together we made him headline material. 510 00:24:20,556 --> 00:24:22,055 I mean, a-after tonight, I-I think he's poised 511 00:24:22,079 --> 00:24:23,622 to win the whole thing. I really do. 512 00:24:23,646 --> 00:24:26,582 Really? All the national polls put him very far behind. 513 00:24:26,606 --> 00:24:29,019 Listen, polls are meaningless when the American people 514 00:24:29,043 --> 00:24:31,587 find someone who honestly and truly speaks 515 00:24:31,611 --> 00:24:33,371 to their core values. 516 00:25:05,993 --> 00:25:08,648 I'm the President! Yeah! 517 00:25:15,655 --> 00:25:17,763 This is so cool. 518 00:25:20,398 --> 00:25:22,333 This is the president. Bomb Russia! 519 00:25:22,357 --> 00:25:23,813 I'm just kidding. 520 00:25:23,837 --> 00:25:25,528 I'm just kidding. Don't worry. 521 00:25:26,894 --> 00:25:28,872 Can't believe I get to live here now. 522 00:25:28,897 --> 00:25:30,048 Well, you're in charge now, Oliver... 523 00:25:30,191 --> 00:25:31,995 uh, Mr. President. 524 00:25:32,019 --> 00:25:34,317 You're the leader of the free world. 525 00:25:34,341 --> 00:25:37,435 Well... as leader of the free world, 526 00:25:37,459 --> 00:25:39,916 we need to fulfill my campaign promises. 527 00:25:39,940 --> 00:25:42,222 - ASAP. - Absolutely. 528 00:25:42,246 --> 00:25:46,444 First off, free video games for every American. 529 00:25:46,468 --> 00:25:48,402 Nintendo, PlayStation, 530 00:25:48,426 --> 00:25:49,969 whatever they want. 531 00:25:49,993 --> 00:25:51,014 Um... 532 00:25:51,038 --> 00:25:52,755 Oliver... 533 00:25:52,779 --> 00:25:55,714 Honey, I don't think that we can quite just do that. 534 00:25:55,738 --> 00:25:57,173 What are you talking about, Mom? 535 00:25:57,197 --> 00:25:59,283 Well, I mean that there are laws. 536 00:25:59,307 --> 00:26:00,719 Congress. 537 00:26:00,743 --> 00:26:03,079 We talked about this, remember, honey? 538 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:05,373 But I promised everyone video games, 539 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,900 and you, Mr. Chief of Staff, 540 00:26:07,924 --> 00:26:09,772 are gonna make sure that happens. 541 00:26:09,796 --> 00:26:12,209 Well, I'm not quite sure that Congress is gonna 542 00:26:12,233 --> 00:26:14,515 go for that, Mr. President, especially 543 00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:16,474 given the way the national debt looks right now. 544 00:26:16,498 --> 00:26:18,606 And plus, companies aren't just going to willingly 545 00:26:18,630 --> 00:26:19,869 give away their games. 546 00:26:19,893 --> 00:26:21,435 Guess they'll just have to. 547 00:26:21,459 --> 00:26:22,828 - Yes, but... - But nothing. 548 00:26:22,852 --> 00:26:24,569 They have to. 549 00:26:24,593 --> 00:26:26,310 I made a promise. 550 00:26:26,334 --> 00:26:30,967 So, they give away 270 million games 551 00:26:30,991 --> 00:26:34,884 to every American, or we put a surcharge tax 552 00:26:34,908 --> 00:26:36,799 of a million dollars a Game Boy 553 00:26:36,823 --> 00:26:38,931 and put them out of business in a day. 554 00:26:38,955 --> 00:26:42,689 The people voted. We have to give 'em what we promised. 555 00:26:46,093 --> 00:26:48,695 - Hey, Oliver. - Mr. President. 556 00:26:49,444 --> 00:26:51,378 Sorry, Raff, but it sounds really cool. 557 00:26:51,402 --> 00:26:52,741 You're right. 558 00:26:53,401 --> 00:26:55,988 Mr. President, maybe we should, uh, hold off 559 00:26:56,013 --> 00:26:58,220 on the video game thing until you get settled in... 560 00:26:58,245 --> 00:27:01,735 I'm settled in, Raff, and I know what I want. 561 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,217 And you guys are gonna get that done for me 562 00:27:04,372 --> 00:27:07,133 or I'll get otherpeople to get it done for me. 563 00:27:07,157 --> 00:27:09,440 There won't be a shortage of people who want to work 564 00:27:09,464 --> 00:27:12,249 for the new president of the United States. 565 00:27:14,251 --> 00:27:17,056 Now... where's the White House kitchen? 566 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,407 I want a triple-scoop chocolate chip mint, 567 00:27:20,431 --> 00:27:23,410 vanilla and coffee ice cream sundae with whipped cream, 568 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:25,398 chocolate sauce and sprinkles! 569 00:27:38,058 --> 00:27:40,166 I want to make a new vlog of me singing 570 00:27:40,190 --> 00:27:42,690 and all these dancers around me dressed like soldiers. 571 00:27:42,714 --> 00:27:45,633 Mm-hmm. I'm not sure if vlogging is the best way to communicate. 572 00:27:45,657 --> 00:27:46,893 Of course it is. 573 00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:48,696 I want to sing about world peace. 574 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,220 The lyrics should be something like, 575 00:27:50,244 --> 00:27:52,352 "Either you're with peace, 576 00:27:52,376 --> 00:27:54,020 or you're not," 577 00:27:54,044 --> 00:27:56,748 and if they're not, we start to kill off all the dancers. 578 00:27:56,772 --> 00:27:59,098 - Um... - I mean, not for real, obviously. 579 00:27:59,122 --> 00:28:01,187 But in the video, all bloody and stuff. 580 00:28:01,211 --> 00:28:02,447 It'll be cool. 581 00:28:04,911 --> 00:28:07,324 Dog selection today, Mr. President. 582 00:28:07,348 --> 00:28:08,586 Finally! 583 00:28:08,610 --> 00:28:11,894 Hi. Hello! Oh, yes, you are so sweet. 584 00:28:11,918 --> 00:28:14,070 Hey, come here, come here. 585 00:28:14,094 --> 00:28:15,854 Okay, no. No. 586 00:28:15,878 --> 00:28:17,638 No. Maybe. 587 00:28:17,662 --> 00:28:19,249 No. 588 00:28:19,273 --> 00:28:21,120 Maybe. No. 589 00:28:21,144 --> 00:28:23,253 This one! This guy right here! 590 00:28:23,277 --> 00:28:24,384 No, no, no, this one. 591 00:28:24,408 --> 00:28:27,713 He's perfect. My new Homer. 592 00:28:27,737 --> 00:28:29,302 It's a female dog, sir. 593 00:28:29,326 --> 00:28:30,826 What? Ew! 594 00:28:30,850 --> 00:28:32,392 What were you thinking? 595 00:28:32,416 --> 00:28:33,872 - I thought, um... - Thought what? 596 00:28:33,896 --> 00:28:35,178 I want a new Homer! 597 00:28:35,202 --> 00:28:37,267 Does Homer sound like a girl's name to you? 598 00:28:37,291 --> 00:28:38,860 Well, there's other dogs here, sir. 599 00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,792 Get rid of 'em. I don't want 'em. 600 00:28:40,816 --> 00:28:42,925 Um, sir? These dogs were selected from the pound. 601 00:28:42,949 --> 00:28:45,449 I don't really care. I don't want them. 602 00:28:45,473 --> 00:28:48,582 Okay. It is, however, time for your physical. 603 00:28:48,606 --> 00:28:50,584 Physical? No way. 604 00:28:50,608 --> 00:28:52,325 Well, I'm sorry, Mr. President, but Congress requires 605 00:28:52,349 --> 00:28:54,567 that the president get a yearly physical. 606 00:28:54,591 --> 00:28:56,025 Well, then fire Congress. 607 00:28:56,049 --> 00:28:57,651 We can't quite do that. 608 00:28:57,675 --> 00:28:59,051 Well, I'm not gonna see any doctor. 609 00:28:59,075 --> 00:29:00,768 Especially an old man doctor. 610 00:29:00,792 --> 00:29:02,335 Okay, but it's scheduled for today, so... 611 00:29:02,359 --> 00:29:03,946 Well, then un-schedule it. 612 00:29:03,970 --> 00:29:06,122 And never rescheduleit. 613 00:29:06,146 --> 00:29:09,429 That's the only real schedule I can get behind. 614 00:29:09,453 --> 00:29:12,171 And make a new law: no old doctors. 615 00:29:12,195 --> 00:29:13,673 Everyone okay with that? 616 00:29:16,305 --> 00:29:18,743 I said, is everyone okay with that? 617 00:29:19,512 --> 00:29:20,832 Yes, Mr. President. 618 00:29:20,856 --> 00:29:21,901 Yes, Mr. President. 619 00:29:24,338 --> 00:29:25,881 Think fast! 620 00:29:25,905 --> 00:29:28,318 - He got me. - You lose, you lose. 621 00:29:28,342 --> 00:29:30,910 - He got me. - Think fast! 622 00:29:32,302 --> 00:29:34,411 - Mr. Chairman, Mitch. Can...? - What is it, Raff? 623 00:29:34,435 --> 00:29:35,934 President wants a military parade 624 00:29:35,958 --> 00:29:37,370 for his sister's birthday next week. 625 00:29:37,394 --> 00:29:38,676 I am knee-deep in donkey shit trying to organize it. 626 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:41,409 - Right, uh, can I...? - What? Can I what? 627 00:29:42,051 --> 00:29:43,986 Can I get a minute with you? 628 00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,510 What is it, Raff? You've been out of sorts for weeks. 629 00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:47,772 Um... 630 00:29:52,148 --> 00:29:53,430 Aren't you a little worried? 631 00:29:53,454 --> 00:29:54,779 I'm always worried. 632 00:29:54,803 --> 00:29:56,215 What's your problem? 633 00:29:56,239 --> 00:29:57,608 Get out of the way! 634 00:29:57,632 --> 00:29:59,895 Mr. President coming through! Get out of my way! 635 00:30:00,940 --> 00:30:03,309 - Hey. - Hey. 636 00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:04,937 Choo-choo! 637 00:30:04,961 --> 00:30:06,543 Move it! 638 00:30:06,567 --> 00:30:09,272 Hey, order pizza for everyone. 639 00:30:09,296 --> 00:30:12,057 Don't you think the president seems like a...? 640 00:30:12,081 --> 00:30:13,885 - A kid. - Right. 641 00:30:14,234 --> 00:30:16,390 Like a spoiled kid. Like a... 642 00:30:18,112 --> 00:30:19,456 ...like the most spoiled kid 643 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,371 in the history of the world, you know? 644 00:30:21,395 --> 00:30:23,460 He's commander-in-chief, this is the greatest country 645 00:30:23,484 --> 00:30:24,809 in the world. President says "Jump," 646 00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:26,071 I say "How high?" 647 00:30:26,095 --> 00:30:27,377 I don't care that he's a kid. 648 00:30:27,401 --> 00:30:28,595 Approval rating's through the roof, 649 00:30:28,619 --> 00:30:29,652 everybody loves their video games. 650 00:30:29,676 --> 00:30:31,424 Strange time to be talking treason, 651 00:30:31,448 --> 00:30:32,730 Hanks. 652 00:30:32,754 --> 00:30:33,818 Treason? 653 00:30:33,842 --> 00:30:35,472 - Treason. - No, I-I'm not 654 00:30:35,496 --> 00:30:37,430 - talking treason. - I'm, I'm not... Sure sounds like it. 655 00:30:37,454 --> 00:30:39,389 And I don't like it and I won't have it. 656 00:30:39,413 --> 00:30:41,130 Understood? 657 00:30:41,678 --> 00:30:42,741 Understood. 658 00:30:42,766 --> 00:30:44,055 Good. 659 00:30:50,119 --> 00:30:51,227 Helen. 660 00:30:51,251 --> 00:30:53,316 - Hey. - Helen. 661 00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:56,232 Oliver's not the president, you are the real president. 662 00:30:56,256 --> 00:30:58,364 Don't you think it's time you intervened? 663 00:30:58,945 --> 00:31:00,608 Intervene? 664 00:31:01,652 --> 00:31:03,674 Why would I do that? 665 00:31:03,698 --> 00:31:07,417 Raff, everything you said would come true has. 666 00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:09,027 He connects with people. 667 00:31:09,051 --> 00:31:10,550 My child. 668 00:31:10,574 --> 00:31:12,161 He touches people. 669 00:31:12,185 --> 00:31:16,145 Intervening's the last thing I'm gonna do. 670 00:31:24,721 --> 00:31:26,697 I say if it's bothering you that much, 671 00:31:26,721 --> 00:31:27,959 you should just talk with him. 672 00:31:27,983 --> 00:31:29,700 Okay, it's just hard to know 673 00:31:29,724 --> 00:31:32,181 what to say to an 11-year-old who's also the president. 674 00:31:32,205 --> 00:31:34,009 Well, you've done pretty good thus far. 675 00:31:34,033 --> 00:31:36,035 Yeah. It was easier before. 676 00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:40,102 Listen, we're mercenaries, right? 677 00:31:40,126 --> 00:31:42,104 I mean, that's what we are. 678 00:31:42,128 --> 00:31:43,931 Your big mistake was staying 679 00:31:43,955 --> 00:31:45,498 with him in the White House. 680 00:31:45,522 --> 00:31:46,978 You should have followed me. 681 00:31:47,002 --> 00:31:49,937 And I moved on and business is booming. 682 00:31:50,371 --> 00:31:52,505 Didn't have to stick around and have regrets, 683 00:31:52,529 --> 00:31:54,625 see how the sausage is made. 684 00:31:55,445 --> 00:31:57,119 It's just, no one seems to be willing 685 00:31:57,143 --> 00:31:58,511 to confront him, you know? 686 00:31:58,535 --> 00:32:00,426 Even his parents seem cowed. 687 00:32:00,450 --> 00:32:02,167 Well, maybe they are cowed. 688 00:32:02,191 --> 00:32:04,126 Or maybe everyone's okay with it. 689 00:32:04,150 --> 00:32:05,779 I mean, sure, he's a little bit bratty, 690 00:32:05,803 --> 00:32:07,826 but so are a lot of kids, it's a phase. 691 00:32:07,850 --> 00:32:09,435 Like your chamomile tea phase, 692 00:32:09,459 --> 00:32:11,089 it's gonna pass. 693 00:32:11,113 --> 00:32:13,004 Raff, you of all people knew 694 00:32:13,028 --> 00:32:14,353 what you were getting into 695 00:32:14,377 --> 00:32:16,486 when you decided to run his campaign. 696 00:32:17,273 --> 00:32:19,097 Try and enjoy this moment 697 00:32:19,121 --> 00:32:21,621 instead of worrying so much. 698 00:32:21,645 --> 00:32:23,275 You're the conquering hero. 699 00:32:23,299 --> 00:32:24,732 Right? 700 00:32:24,756 --> 00:32:27,888 One of the most famous campaign managers in history. 701 00:32:28,451 --> 00:32:32,205 The man who got Oliver Foley elected president. 702 00:32:36,617 --> 00:32:38,053 Thanks. 703 00:32:41,535 --> 00:32:43,295 I tried to do the right thing... 704 00:32:43,319 --> 00:32:45,254 for once. 705 00:32:45,278 --> 00:32:48,257 Mr. Hanks. 706 00:32:48,281 --> 00:32:50,765 We're losing him. Get the crash cart in here. 707 00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:07,928 You distracted me, Raff. 708 00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:09,191 Oh, sorry. 709 00:33:09,215 --> 00:33:10,496 It's okay. 710 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,237 I never get a hole-in-one. 711 00:33:12,261 --> 00:33:13,788 And it sucks. 712 00:33:15,917 --> 00:33:17,053 Want to play? 713 00:33:17,077 --> 00:33:19,367 Could use the company. My sister has homework 714 00:33:19,391 --> 00:33:21,290 and the Secretary of Homeland Security 715 00:33:21,314 --> 00:33:23,142 sucks at golf. 716 00:33:25,231 --> 00:33:26,884 Um, sure, thank you. 717 00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:33,519 I think Nixon put in the golf thing. 718 00:33:33,543 --> 00:33:35,565 - But it's so boring, putting. - Mm-hmm. 719 00:33:35,977 --> 00:33:37,816 Who wants to just putt? 720 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,222 I want windmills and pirate ships. 721 00:33:40,246 --> 00:33:41,527 Those little pencils to keep track. 722 00:33:41,551 --> 00:33:43,031 Right. 723 00:33:49,472 --> 00:33:51,276 - Can I speak candidly? - I don't know. 724 00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:52,562 Can you? 725 00:33:55,739 --> 00:33:57,790 Um, I'm a little worried. 726 00:33:58,307 --> 00:34:00,168 So am I, actually. 727 00:34:01,335 --> 00:34:02,920 What do you mean? 728 00:34:06,098 --> 00:34:07,300 I mean... 729 00:34:07,601 --> 00:34:09,603 this treason thing's pretty serious. 730 00:34:12,234 --> 00:34:15,170 You like the lighting? I think it's cool. 731 00:34:15,669 --> 00:34:17,172 I'm not being treasonous, Oliver. 732 00:34:17,196 --> 00:34:18,608 I'm just worried about a few things. 733 00:34:18,632 --> 00:34:20,218 There is a difference. 734 00:34:20,242 --> 00:34:22,351 - Hit your ball, Raff. - Oliver. 735 00:34:22,375 --> 00:34:23,680 Putt. 736 00:34:34,909 --> 00:34:36,120 Not bad. 737 00:34:37,346 --> 00:34:38,498 My turn. 738 00:34:42,046 --> 00:34:43,372 Thing is, Raff... 739 00:34:43,396 --> 00:34:45,330 you were my first real supporter. 740 00:34:45,755 --> 00:34:48,090 Hurts me that you're not fully backing me. 741 00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:53,991 Fuck! I never get it in 742 00:34:54,015 --> 00:34:55,139 on the first try! 743 00:34:56,015 --> 00:34:57,821 Oliver, I do back you. 744 00:34:57,845 --> 00:34:59,586 - I just think that the... - No. 745 00:34:59,610 --> 00:35:01,433 You don't get to think. 746 00:35:01,457 --> 00:35:04,523 You just back me. You back me unconditionally. 747 00:35:04,547 --> 00:35:06,873 Whatever happened to surrounding yourself with the greatest minds 748 00:35:06,897 --> 00:35:08,919 so that you could get the most informed opinions? 749 00:35:08,943 --> 00:35:10,149 That was your idea. 750 00:35:10,173 --> 00:35:12,555 Your line in that commercial about my dying dog. 751 00:35:13,769 --> 00:35:15,312 My dog's dying, Raff. 752 00:35:16,037 --> 00:35:17,449 He's dying. 753 00:35:17,473 --> 00:35:18,929 I'm such a good actor. 754 00:35:19,330 --> 00:35:21,366 I just pretended Homer was dying. 755 00:35:21,390 --> 00:35:23,629 Just to get you back on my team. 756 00:35:24,527 --> 00:35:25,805 No! 757 00:35:25,829 --> 00:35:27,309 I want a hole-in-one! 758 00:35:30,778 --> 00:35:33,620 There! Hole-in-one! I win! 759 00:35:34,795 --> 00:35:36,338 That's not the way it works. 760 00:35:36,362 --> 00:35:37,431 It isn't? 761 00:35:38,668 --> 00:35:39,993 No. 762 00:35:40,017 --> 00:35:41,821 I said it was a hole-in-one. 763 00:35:41,845 --> 00:35:43,214 And I'm president. 764 00:35:43,238 --> 00:35:45,893 Do you support me or are you treasonous? 765 00:35:54,249 --> 00:35:56,358 I'm not treasonous, Oliver. 766 00:35:56,784 --> 00:35:59,099 Mr. President. 767 00:35:59,123 --> 00:36:02,518 "I'm not treasonous, Mr. President." 768 00:36:05,565 --> 00:36:08,065 I'm not treasonous, Mr. President. 769 00:36:08,089 --> 00:36:09,467 Good. 770 00:36:09,491 --> 00:36:12,267 So, it was a hole-in-one, right? 771 00:36:15,531 --> 00:36:16,762 No. 772 00:36:18,264 --> 00:36:19,970 No, it wasn't. 773 00:36:22,184 --> 00:36:25,535 It was not a hole-in-one, Oliver. 774 00:36:32,418 --> 00:36:34,091 Gun! 775 00:36:34,115 --> 00:36:35,377 There's a gun! Shoot him. 776 00:36:41,209 --> 00:36:43,187 REPORTER What do you think about Raff Hanks? 777 00:36:43,211 --> 00:36:46,712 Oh, I think he's the worst scum of the earth. 778 00:36:46,736 --> 00:36:49,454 How dare he try and attack that sweet little boy? 779 00:36:49,478 --> 00:36:51,978 The president dodged a bullet. Literally. 780 00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:53,149 Raff Hanks got what he deserved. 781 00:36:53,173 --> 00:36:54,764 - He got what he deserved. - Raff Hanks got what he deserved. 782 00:36:54,788 --> 00:36:55,721 Raff Hanks... Raff Hanks... 783 00:36:55,745 --> 00:36:56,592 Raff Hanks got... got... 784 00:36:56,616 --> 00:36:58,028 ...got what he deserved. 785 00:36:58,052 --> 00:37:00,465 Glad to see you awake, Mr. Hanks. 786 00:37:00,489 --> 00:37:02,119 Was afraid we lost you there. 787 00:37:02,143 --> 00:37:04,948 - What? - You need an operation 788 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:07,080 on a ruptured spleen and a punctured lung. 789 00:37:07,104 --> 00:37:09,885 The president has asked for his very own doctor to help you. 790 00:37:09,909 --> 00:37:12,129 You're not the doctor? 791 00:37:12,153 --> 00:37:14,479 The law does not permit me to be a doctor. 792 00:37:14,503 --> 00:37:16,263 The doctor will be with you shortly. 793 00:37:21,410 --> 00:37:22,705 All right. 794 00:37:22,729 --> 00:37:25,011 Let's get this done quick, mister. 795 00:37:25,035 --> 00:37:26,665 No. 796 00:37:28,952 --> 00:37:30,277 No. 797 00:37:30,301 --> 00:37:32,296 I want to finish my video games. 798 00:37:32,842 --> 00:37:34,690 No! No! 799 00:37:41,138 --> 00:37:43,552 Society is a fragile ecosystem. 800 00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:47,338 Razzle and dazzle people with the right lies 801 00:37:47,362 --> 00:37:49,732 and eventually they'll go blind to the madness 802 00:37:49,756 --> 00:37:51,734 right in front of their faces. 803 00:37:51,758 --> 00:37:55,564 Raff Hanks made a living selling the American dream. 804 00:37:55,588 --> 00:37:59,437 But, once sold, he created a true nightmare 805 00:37:59,461 --> 00:38:01,483 that he couldn't buy back. 806 00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:03,786 Especially not here... 807 00:38:04,553 --> 00:38:06,531 in The Twilight Zone. 57560

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