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1
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,973
He's waking up.
2
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Can you hear me, Mr. Hanks?
3
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What's going on?
4
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:31,833
Try to relax.
5
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,538
Do you know your name?
6
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Raff Hanks.
7
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,275
Great.
8
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Do you know who the president is?
9
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,411
Four more years!
10
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Four more years! Four more years!
11
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Four more years!
12
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,681
Four more years! Four more years!
13
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Four more years! Four more years!
14
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,470
Four more years!
15
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,124
Well, you did it.
16
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,821
We did it.
17
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,301
Four more years!
18
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,650
Stevens did it.
19
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:06,999
All right.
20
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:11,395
But with our help. Our numbers, our data.
21
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,440
We gave him this election.
22
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,876
Can you not jinx things?
23
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,878
I mean, no one's even counted
any votes yet.
24
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,316
Oh, God.
25
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,057
I almost forgot.
26
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,711
Guess what came in the mail today.
27
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,954
Hmm. Subtle.
28
00:01:25,978 --> 00:01:28,368
They never thought Stevens
would get reelected.
29
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,153
Especially not with me
running his campaign.
30
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,241
They were wrong.
31
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,932
Again, can you just not jinx things?
32
00:01:32,956 --> 00:01:36,115
Come on, you've seen the polls.
You see the crowds?
33
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,336
We took the most unpopular
president in American history,
34
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,251
and we turned it around.
35
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,297
I want Justin Timberlake
to play me in the HBO movie.
36
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,169
You really think they're going
to turn this into a movie?
37
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,605
Of course they are.
38
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:50,347
It's only the greatest comeback
in American history.
39
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:53,176
Well, now you've
really jinxed things, so...
40
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,179
Raff, Maura, the results are coming in.
41
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,441
The president wants to see you.
42
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,747
Stevens! Stevens! Stevens!
43
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:03,795
Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens!
44
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,589
It all started out so well.
45
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,582
Do you know why you're here, Raff...
46
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,628
who did this to you?
47
00:02:11,177 --> 00:02:13,012
Do you know where you are?
48
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:14,931
Who are you?
49
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,476
I'm here by order of the
president of the United States.
50
00:02:21,179 --> 00:02:22,644
Then I'm fucked.
51
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,845
Hey.
52
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,853
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,139
What the fuck, Raff?!
54
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,792
Mr. President?
55
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,708
They're saying I just lost New York,
56
00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:50,146
lost New Jersey.
57
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,191
I'm from fuckin' New Jersey.
58
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,846
I'm Mr. Fuckin' New Jersey!
59
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,891
We're losing the whole goddamn country!
60
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,764
- No, my data says...
- Oh, your data's horseshit!
61
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,635
I listened to you.
62
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:04,160
I listened to you.
Your numbers and your polls
63
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,858
and your fancy data
and your high-tech baloney.
64
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:10,514
And guess what. I lost.
65
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,212
I am a one-term joke.
66
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,259
I'm a diaper filled with baby shit,
67
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,537
and it is all your fault!
68
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,497
Fuck!
69
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,967
Raff, listen, it's gonna
be okay. All right?
70
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,795
You can come back from this.
71
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,256
I mean, you're the wunderkind, right?
72
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:40,886
Voters are angry.
73
00:03:40,911 --> 00:03:42,497
After two years in office,
the president is facing
74
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,848
increasing criticism
for his handling of the economy,
75
00:03:44,873 --> 00:03:47,243
increasing crime, the
environment, and foreign policy.
76
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,985
I mean, the world is a mess.
77
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,598
And these politicians,
they're not helping anybody.
78
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,991
We should just throw out
the whole system,
79
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,122
start over again.
80
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,124
Well, let me ask my distinguished panel.
81
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,170
What should the president do
about the situation
82
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,258
in the Middle East?
83
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,781
Thanks for asking, Sam.
84
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,088
"Well, you're one of the most admired
85
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,394
political minds in the business."
86
00:04:04,999 --> 00:04:07,043
That I am, Sam.
87
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,295
That I am.
88
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,904
I just can't pay my rent.
89
00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:17,257
Hey, buddy.
90
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,758
You really ran Stevens' campaign?
91
00:04:21,307 --> 00:04:24,457
I did. I ran it right into the ground.
92
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,334
In lighter news...
93
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,510
Tommy, come on, hit me with another.
94
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:36,142
...look no further than
11-year-old YouTube sensation
95
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:37,565
Oliver Foley.
96
00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:41,648
His latest video is racking up
millions of hits because
97
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,216
Oliver's running for president.
98
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,611
Oh, hey, hi. I'm Oliver Henry Foley,
99
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:52,485
and I'm announcing my candidacy
for president of the USA.
100
00:04:52,922 --> 00:04:55,923
Here's why. I want people
to be nice to each other.
101
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,361
I really do. I know it sounds cheesy,
102
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,971
but it's the truth.
103
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,235
And it's a good enough reason
to run for president as any.
104
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,585
I also believe that
everyone should go to school
105
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,978
and play video games,
106
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,154
because it's good
for your hand-eye coordination.
107
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,636
I may be a kid,
but I sure do get America.
108
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,943
It's the land of equality
and freedom for everyone.
109
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,163
Except maybe my little sister.
110
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,078
You should run that kid's campaign.
111
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,299
- He tells it like it is.
- That's crazy.
112
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,909
Eight million views crazy.
113
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,868
Considering all the crap
coming out of Washington,
114
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,130
I'd vote for that kid in a heartbeat.
115
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:32,090
Me, too. I like what he's saying.
116
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,595
He's a little cutie.
117
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,755
Meet Raff Hanks, a wunderkind.
118
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,018
Once the most successful campaign manager
119
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,715
of his generation.
120
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:52,893
Now Raff finds himself
in a valley of booze and regret.
121
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:57,202
One filled with bad choices
and even worse polling.
122
00:05:57,226 --> 00:06:00,858
He's about to embark on
a misguided road to redemption.
123
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,816
And on his way back to the top,
124
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,123
he'll have to take a dark detour
125
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,367
through The Twilight Zone.
126
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,436
You're traveling
through another dimension,
127
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:17,004
a dimension not only of
sight and sound but of mind.
128
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,268
It is the middle ground
between light and shadow,
129
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:23,010
between science and superstition.
130
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,578
And it lies between
the pit of one's fears
131
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,451
and the summit of one's knowledge.
132
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:31,628
You are now traveling through
a dimension of imagination.
133
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:35,210
You've just crossed over
into The Twilight Zone.
134
00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:39,433
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
135
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:44,075
Mr. Hanks, you did a
great service for our country.
136
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,990
Jesus.
137
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,787
Our country?
138
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,081
I saw an angle, man.
139
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,084
I saw my shot, I took it.
140
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:32,079
Mmm. This really is delicious.
141
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,907
- Mmm.
- Tuesdays is spaghetti,
142
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,401
and Wednesdays is hamburgers.
143
00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:36,519
Cheeseburgers.
144
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,042
Cheeseburgers, if you're into that.
145
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,697
Can you pass the Parmesan cheese?
146
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:43,221
- Oliver.
- Yeah?
147
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,918
Do you really want to be president?
148
00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:48,269
Yep. I'm sick of all the war stuff
149
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,750
and the environment stuff
and the fact that
150
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,231
everybody lies all the time
151
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,751
and that we only get two weeks
off at Christmas break.
152
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,684
Wait. If Oliver gets to be president,
153
00:07:57,708 --> 00:07:59,108
do I get to be vice president?
154
00:07:59,132 --> 00:08:01,819
Uh, maybe, honey. Eat your salad.
155
00:08:02,904 --> 00:08:04,851
I first started my YouTube channel
156
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,550
because my friend Charlie had
one, and I wanted one, too.
157
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,813
Then I started vlogging about Minecraft,
158
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,336
which was sort of boring
because Minecraftis
159
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,947
for little kids, and
I'm not little anymore.
160
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,862
Then I started vlogging about Fortnite,
161
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,494
which got me a bunch of views.
162
00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:19,692
But then I decided to run for president,
163
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,521
and I got 12 million views.
164
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,925
And then you showed up.
165
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,177
And then I showed up.
166
00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,401
What'd I just say?
167
00:08:30,097 --> 00:08:34,141
Really, Raff, why are you here?
168
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,317
I know this thing has
gotten a lot of coverage,
169
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,450
but he's a kid, it's a joke.
170
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,973
Not to me.
171
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,410
People are really responding
to what Oliver is saying.
172
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,325
- He's 11.
- It's a technicality.
173
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,936
To being president.
174
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,807
Listen, your name will be on the ballot.
175
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,026
He'll just be the one in charge.
176
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:53,204
Oh. This is getting better and better.
177
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,511
Listen, A-Andrew Johnson was a tailor.
178
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,425
Teddy Roosevelt was a rancher.
179
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,079
Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer.
180
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,603
This country is very open
181
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,909
to leaders without political baggage.
182
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:06,565
Raff, I googled you. I did some research.
183
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:09,307
I know you've had a hard run.
You battled the booze...
184
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:13,833
Joseph, I'm off it, completely.
I am a new man.
185
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,358
I mean, I am drinking chamomile
tea, for the love of Pete.
186
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,777
Well, still, we see what
you're trying to do here.
187
00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:24,288
You're an opportunist.
188
00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:26,870
Of course I am.
189
00:09:28,906 --> 00:09:30,241
I need this.
190
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,202
This is what I do.
191
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,421
But Oliver, your son, has tapped into
192
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,032
something very, very real.
193
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,710
He connects with people.
194
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,646
Do you realize how rare
that is in politics,
195
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,672
to actually connect with people?
196
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,826
I honestly believe
Oliver can be president.
197
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,131
Come on, now...
198
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,656
And win or lose, when
all this is said and done,
199
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,875
he will have had the experience
of a lifetime.
200
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,356
And he will have made enough
money from endorsements
201
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,011
and TV deals and book deals
to pay for his college
202
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,907
and Lily's college, the dog's college.
203
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,104
You'll have your face back on TV.
204
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:08,932
Exactly.
205
00:10:09,321 --> 00:10:11,978
Everybody wins, nobody gets hurt.
206
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,439
This is the American dream.
207
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,645
We're making a new video.
Lily's gonna film it.
208
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,750
You want to watch? It's gonna be awesome.
209
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,998
- Go.
- Go?
210
00:10:35,022 --> 00:10:36,133
- Yes.
- Now?
211
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,701
- Go now.
- Okay. Here are the ten things
212
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:42,182
I promise the American people
if I'm elected president.
213
00:10:43,064 --> 00:10:45,044
Oh. Hi, Homer.
214
00:10:45,069 --> 00:10:47,448
This is Homer. Anyways,
215
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,369
number one: jobs. Jobs for everyone.
216
00:10:50,393 --> 00:10:54,151
Number two: long weekends,
longer vacations.
217
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,154
Number three: less Star Warsmovies.
218
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,286
Number four: better air to breathe,
219
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,941
which means more bikes and less cars.
220
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,552
Number five: less war.
221
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:08,426
Number six: dogs for dog people
and cats for cat people.
222
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,993
Number seven:
223
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,686
more pancake houses
throughout the land, please.
224
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:16,869
Number eight: free video games
for every American!
225
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:20,629
Number nine: every month has
to have its own holiday.
226
00:11:20,653 --> 00:11:24,057
Number ten: dessert is before dinner!
227
00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:28,577
Got hot dogs waiting on the bus.
Ketchup and mustard.
228
00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:30,352
The little juice boxes like you like.
229
00:11:30,377 --> 00:11:31,659
And baby carrots?
230
00:11:31,683 --> 00:11:34,574
Of course. With ranch dressing.
I'm no monster.
231
00:11:34,598 --> 00:11:37,011
We got CNN and Fox this afternoon,
232
00:11:37,035 --> 00:11:38,404
Rachel Maddow tonight.
233
00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:39,670
She's nice.
234
00:11:39,694 --> 00:11:41,451
Super nice. And you promised me
235
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:42,887
the interview with the Times, remember?
236
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,497
Only if we can stop at the water park
237
00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:45,933
on the way back to the airport.
238
00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:47,169
You got it.
239
00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:50,029
Hey, what about the song?
240
00:11:50,053 --> 00:11:51,247
And the music video?
241
00:11:51,271 --> 00:11:53,084
I get a lot of views with my videos.
242
00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:55,425
Recording studio booked,
dancers are rehearsing.
243
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:56,967
It's been two months now.
244
00:11:57,639 --> 00:11:59,431
You can do better, Raff.
245
00:12:01,324 --> 00:12:02,517
You're right.
246
00:12:02,685 --> 00:12:04,130
I can do better.
247
00:12:04,154 --> 00:12:05,305
Wow.
248
00:12:05,329 --> 00:12:07,089
The wunderkind and the wunderkind.
249
00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:09,220
Maura McGowan.
250
00:12:09,244 --> 00:12:12,268
What are you doing here on the
mean streets of rural Iowa?
251
00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:15,472
I saw your mug on TV,
figured I'd come say hi.
252
00:12:15,496 --> 00:12:17,732
You want to get the band back
together again, don't you?
253
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,829
I wrote you off after Stevens.
254
00:12:23,216 --> 00:12:24,352
I was wrong.
255
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,239
"I was wrong."
256
00:12:26,263 --> 00:12:28,417
My three favorite words
in the English language.
257
00:12:28,441 --> 00:12:29,960
Okay, don't push it.
258
00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:31,809
You know you missed me, Maura.
259
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,507
A little bit.
260
00:12:37,404 --> 00:12:39,180
Good. Come on.
261
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:43,184
So what are we going to do,
though, when it all, you know,
262
00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:45,214
blows up in our faces?
263
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,855
Look, Mr. Hanks,
264
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,859
we're going to have to operate.
Your condition is not stable.
265
00:12:58,295 --> 00:13:01,493
I'm not sure that I ever was.
266
00:13:02,494 --> 00:13:05,408
A stable person would've seen
what was happening.
267
00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,374
Hey.
268
00:13:25,398 --> 00:13:27,517
- Hey.
- Those national ads done yet?
269
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,414
- We have that TV space on hold.
- Almost.
270
00:13:29,438 --> 00:13:31,683
Oliver hasn't signed off yet
completely, but he will.
271
00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:33,828
- He will.
- I hope so.
272
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:36,483
You know, his last set of
notes were four pages long,
273
00:13:36,507 --> 00:13:38,354
all handwritten and mostly involved
274
00:13:38,378 --> 00:13:40,226
inserting more shots of his dog.
275
00:13:41,599 --> 00:13:43,229
He's smart. The kid's smart.
276
00:13:43,253 --> 00:13:44,578
Hey!
277
00:13:44,602 --> 00:13:46,536
I know.
278
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,451
So good.
279
00:13:55,308 --> 00:13:56,503
That's a cut!
280
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,598
Man, that kid is cute, though.
281
00:14:04,622 --> 00:14:06,295
- Fuckin' A he is.
- I'm sorry, we have
282
00:14:06,319 --> 00:14:07,514
that doctor's appointment to get to now.
283
00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:08,952
No way, Mom!
284
00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:11,102
Oliver, do not argue with your mother.
285
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,867
I'm not going! I'm not.
286
00:14:12,891 --> 00:14:13,998
You're going to the doctor.
287
00:14:14,022 --> 00:14:15,086
End of discussion.
288
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:16,262
- No!
- Yes!
289
00:14:16,286 --> 00:14:18,351
- Bullshit!
- Oliver!
290
00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:20,527
I hate the doctor.
It's always some old man
291
00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:22,355
with bad breath stabbing me with needles.
292
00:14:22,379 --> 00:14:23,834
The doctor is just there to make sure
293
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:25,053
that you are good and healthy.
294
00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:26,359
I am healthy!
295
00:14:26,383 --> 00:14:27,925
I just danced for, like, five hours!
296
00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:29,024
You're going to the doctor.
297
00:14:29,048 --> 00:14:30,514
End of discussion, young man.
298
00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:32,096
- I hate you!
- Oliver!
299
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,193
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
300
00:14:34,217 --> 00:14:36,151
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
301
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:39,744
I hate you. I hate you.
302
00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:43,237
I saw what I wanted to.
303
00:14:51,059 --> 00:14:53,647
Well, Oliver's not one of these
greasy-palmed hucksters.
304
00:14:53,671 --> 00:14:55,295
We got plenty enough of those.
305
00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:56,824
There's something inspirational
306
00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:58,565
about starting off with someone fresh.
307
00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:01,002
You know, someone that believes
in the things that I believe in.
308
00:15:04,015 --> 00:15:06,235
He wants to make this country stronger.
309
00:15:06,259 --> 00:15:07,685
I mean, he wants to bring us
back to basics,
310
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,689
back to what made
this, this nation great.
311
00:15:09,713 --> 00:15:11,360
My grandkids love him.
312
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,880
He's making promises
just like a politician would,
313
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,338
but Oliver Foley is undeniably different.
314
00:15:18,362 --> 00:15:21,073
There's a momentum here
of a kind I haven't seen before.
315
00:15:21,097 --> 00:15:22,819
It doesn't matter how old
he is to me. H-He could be
316
00:15:22,843 --> 00:15:25,041
eight years old, he could be
eight months old for all I care.
317
00:15:25,065 --> 00:15:26,564
- He's got my vote.
- What's amazing
318
00:15:26,588 --> 00:15:28,566
is that this kid is in the race at all,
319
00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:30,742
let alone now just six points down
320
00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:32,309
in the latest national polls.
321
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:35,138
Oliver Foley has captured the imagination
322
00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:36,617
of the American public.
323
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,233
Oliver,
324
00:15:46,258 --> 00:15:49,065
your competitors
have called you "uninformed,
325
00:15:49,089 --> 00:15:51,676
ill-informed, or not informed at all"
326
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,157
when it comes to global politics.
327
00:15:54,181 --> 00:15:55,810
Can you respond to their complaints?
328
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:57,638
What do you feel we should be doing
329
00:15:57,662 --> 00:15:59,838
with our troops still in Iraq?
330
00:16:02,232 --> 00:16:05,211
I-I'm glad you asked me about Iraq.
331
00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:08,388
It's-it's an... it's an
intriguing question,
332
00:16:08,412 --> 00:16:10,307
and it is well worth answering,
333
00:16:10,746 --> 00:16:15,104
just not in 60-second sound-bites.
334
00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:17,615
Wait. Hold on.
335
00:16:17,639 --> 00:16:19,007
I don't even know
what that fucking means.
336
00:16:19,031 --> 00:16:21,184
- Language.
- Sorry, but this is ridiculous.
337
00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:23,055
He hasn't memorized anything
I've asked him to,
338
00:16:23,079 --> 00:16:26,189
and the first primary debate
is one week away.
339
00:16:26,213 --> 00:16:28,365
I don't know why you hired me.
He can't be coached.
340
00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:30,536
- It's a goddamn shit-show.
- Enough!
341
00:16:31,777 --> 00:16:32,997
You're right, I don't know
342
00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:34,173
why I hired you, it wasa mistake.
343
00:16:34,198 --> 00:16:35,502
Frankly, we don't need another
344
00:16:35,526 --> 00:16:37,939
canned answer that people
are gonna know is baloney.
345
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,985
He's gonna be embarrassed.
346
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:41,465
It's a joke and he's a sideshow.
347
00:16:41,489 --> 00:16:43,293
A sideshow who's only
348
00:16:43,317 --> 00:16:45,077
six points down in Iowa
349
00:16:45,101 --> 00:16:46,339
and whose latest music video
350
00:16:46,363 --> 00:16:48,602
has 56 million views.
351
00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:50,846
He's got you there, Larry.
Kid knows his YouTube.
352
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:56,957
Larry...
353
00:16:57,940 --> 00:16:59,159
...you're fired.
354
00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:06,664
Is he right, Raff?
355
00:17:06,688 --> 00:17:08,385
Am I gonna be embarrassed?
356
00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:13,061
We have had decades of politicians
357
00:17:13,085 --> 00:17:14,498
who claim to know everything,
358
00:17:14,522 --> 00:17:17,438
and where has that taken
this country, Oliver?
359
00:17:18,858 --> 00:17:21,295
It's taken us straight into the crapper.
360
00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:23,898
You're gonna be fine.
361
00:17:23,922 --> 00:17:25,716
You just do your thing, okay?
362
00:17:26,675 --> 00:17:28,469
Thanks, Raff.
363
00:17:30,277 --> 00:17:31,732
Oh.
364
00:17:40,504 --> 00:17:42,656
I mean, I guess I don't
really understand taxes,
365
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,006
if that's really
your qu-question. I mean,
366
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,712
taxes are good, except when they're bad.
367
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,620
But they're mostly good, right?
368
00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:51,665
- U-Um... uh...
- Wow.
369
00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:55,234
Uh, except in Monopoly. Then they're bad.
370
00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:58,411
- And...
- Hey, nice work there, guys.
371
00:17:58,435 --> 00:17:59,978
Real car accident.
372
00:18:00,002 --> 00:18:01,545
- You know what, Pete?
- Just leave it.
373
00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,329
We were worried there
for a little while, but this?
374
00:18:03,353 --> 00:18:05,113
- This is beautiful.
- I think there's
375
00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:07,551
a dogcatcher race
in Florenceville Junction, Raff.
376
00:18:07,575 --> 00:18:09,422
Maybe you could get on that campaign.
377
00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:11,107
That's really funny. That's really funny.
378
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,296
- Okay... Just let it go.
- Congratulations.
379
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,341
We trusted you.
380
00:18:15,974 --> 00:18:18,498
Listen, your boy's gonna get
his sea legs soon, I know it.
381
00:18:18,522 --> 00:18:20,085
I can feel it. He's gonna be fine.
382
00:18:20,109 --> 00:18:22,305
His sea legs? This is a disaster.
383
00:18:22,329 --> 00:18:24,220
- No. Joseph...
- They're destroying him, Raff.
384
00:18:24,244 --> 00:18:25,934
They're destroying my boy.
385
00:18:26,258 --> 00:18:27,919
- No, he's gonna be f...
- Lily, Lily, sweetheart...
386
00:18:27,943 --> 00:18:29,355
He's gonna be... you guys.
387
00:18:29,379 --> 00:18:31,009
Come on. You guys...
388
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:36,778
Mom?
389
00:18:40,216 --> 00:18:43,064
Mom? Mom?
390
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,481
Mom.
391
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,783
Try to relax.
392
00:19:05,807 --> 00:19:09,265
If you're gonna do it, just do it.
393
00:19:09,289 --> 00:19:12,920
The doctor was held up.
He's on a... different level.
394
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,070
He's on his way.
395
00:19:14,094 --> 00:19:16,272
- God!
- Mr. Hanks!
396
00:19:16,296 --> 00:19:19,318
Put me under!
Save my life or let me die, man!
397
00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:25,977
Two days before
Iowa votes in the first caucus
398
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:29,502
or primary of the season,
the race is truly shaping up
399
00:19:29,526 --> 00:19:32,723
after the embarrassing flameout
of 11-year-old Oliver Foley
400
00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:35,726
in a disastrous campaign
led by Raff Hanks,
401
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:40,407
one that will be analyzed and
joked about for decades to...
402
00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,690
Thanks for taking pity on me, Tommy.
403
00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:45,257
I don't have pity on you, Raff.
404
00:19:45,281 --> 00:19:47,215
I just don't want you crying
in the bar again.
405
00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:48,650
Scares the customers.
406
00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,028
Right.
407
00:19:56,858 --> 00:20:01,012
Well, so much for that
chamomile tea phase, huh?
408
00:20:01,496 --> 00:20:04,145
Yeah, I replaced it with the
"decimate your liver" phase.
409
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:05,398
It's much more enjoyable.
410
00:20:05,422 --> 00:20:07,410
Tommy, would you get this fine lady
411
00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:08,976
a bourbon on the rocks, please?
412
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,977
Make it a double, please.
413
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,805
Oh, that's my girl.
414
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,329
How you holding up?
415
00:20:13,675 --> 00:20:15,983
Well, better than you are, apparently.
416
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,682
Thanks.
417
00:20:18,706 --> 00:20:21,926
Oh, wow.
418
00:20:22,927 --> 00:20:24,775
So what are you doing here?
419
00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:26,167
I got things to do.
420
00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,213
I got nuts to eat.
I got beer to cry into.
421
00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:32,304
No, I really am here, actually,
to see how you're doing.
422
00:20:32,736 --> 00:20:34,290
And from the looks of things,
423
00:20:34,314 --> 00:20:37,831
it's... not a pretty picture.
424
00:20:38,492 --> 00:20:40,243
You know what the worst part is?
425
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:42,829
Hmm?
426
00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,752
I started this whole thing
to get out of the mess I was in,
427
00:20:45,776 --> 00:20:47,101
but somewhere along the line,
428
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:50,061
I started liking what the kid was saying.
429
00:20:50,587 --> 00:20:51,976
Uh-oh.
430
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,448
- Yeah.
- Not the whole
431
00:20:53,472 --> 00:20:55,849
"I actually believe my candidate" story.
432
00:20:55,873 --> 00:20:57,460
I do believe in him.
433
00:20:57,484 --> 00:20:59,888
All right, he didn't know shit
about the tax code.
434
00:21:00,312 --> 00:21:01,855
But he was human.
435
00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:03,509
He was vulnerable,
and that's more than I can say
436
00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:05,206
about everybody else up there.
437
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:08,253
You know, I never should have
let him go on the debate stage.
438
00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:09,981
He should've kept making his videos.
439
00:21:10,005 --> 00:21:11,996
We could've done one about world peace.
440
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,520
He could've been holding
a-a homemade globe,
441
00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:16,000
and everyone would have
eaten it up, and no one
442
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,219
- would give a shit about the debate.
- You know what?
443
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:20,089
It's too late now. Right?
444
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,201
Yeah.
445
00:21:21,986 --> 00:21:23,578
Yeah, it's too late.
446
00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:26,607
You know, I actually
stopped by their place.
447
00:21:26,748 --> 00:21:28,404
The Foleys.
448
00:21:28,428 --> 00:21:29,535
You did? How they doing?
449
00:21:30,127 --> 00:21:32,146
Um... to be expected.
450
00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:33,296
Maybe...
451
00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:35,696
a little bit worse.
452
00:21:37,092 --> 00:21:38,892
Well, you know their dog, Homer?
453
00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:40,372
Yeah?
454
00:21:40,396 --> 00:21:42,548
He's got some kind of cancer.
He's gonna die.
455
00:21:42,572 --> 00:21:45,377
No. No.
456
00:21:45,401 --> 00:21:46,733
Yeah.
457
00:21:46,757 --> 00:21:49,337
Oh, God, I fucked everything up.
458
00:21:49,361 --> 00:21:50,730
I even killed their dog.
459
00:21:51,773 --> 00:21:53,429
Oliver says hi, though.
460
00:21:54,276 --> 00:21:55,779
He did?
461
00:21:55,803 --> 00:21:57,389
He doesn't blame you.
462
00:21:57,413 --> 00:21:59,260
He wanted me to tell you that.
463
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:00,866
Oh, he's a good kid.
464
00:22:01,461 --> 00:22:03,526
He also wanted me to ask you
if you thought it was okay
465
00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:06,442
for him to post a vlog
about his dying dog.
466
00:22:06,913 --> 00:22:08,400
Why not, I guess.
467
00:22:08,424 --> 00:22:09,750
I mean, that's what I said.
468
00:22:10,959 --> 00:22:13,361
It's really sad, you know?
469
00:22:14,045 --> 00:22:16,173
I mean, it's sweet how much he...
470
00:22:17,257 --> 00:22:19,301
cares about that poor animal.
471
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,098
Oh, Jesus.
472
00:22:26,349 --> 00:22:27,481
It's perfect.
473
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,727
A vlog about a dying dog.
474
00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:33,294
Oh, my God, provided it's done
correctly, it's perfect.
475
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,340
- Raff...
- Are we on the ballot still?
476
00:22:35,364 --> 00:22:37,319
Please tell me we are still
on the ballot.
477
00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:40,519
It was too late
to get us taken off, but...
478
00:22:40,543 --> 00:22:42,491
Raff, what are you doing?
479
00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,045
I am getting Oliver Foley
elected president
480
00:22:45,069 --> 00:22:46,394
of the United States of America.
481
00:22:46,418 --> 00:22:48,595
We're winning this goddamn election!
482
00:22:54,296 --> 00:22:55,645
That's not good.
483
00:22:58,605 --> 00:23:01,279
This is Homer. My dog.
484
00:23:01,303 --> 00:23:02,585
He's a Labradoodle.
485
00:23:02,609 --> 00:23:04,151
I've known him my whole life.
486
00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:07,590
He's the best dog
in the whole wide world.
487
00:23:07,614 --> 00:23:09,635
He's also dying.
488
00:23:09,659 --> 00:23:10,984
He has cancer.
489
00:23:11,008 --> 00:23:13,924
A dog type of cancer
that's sort of incurable.
490
00:23:15,622 --> 00:23:17,208
Come on. Come over.
491
00:23:17,232 --> 00:23:19,123
This is my sister Lily.
492
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,612
And these are my parents.
493
00:23:22,019 --> 00:23:23,867
It's pretty clear
I don't know nearly enough
494
00:23:23,891 --> 00:23:25,390
to be president alone.
495
00:23:25,414 --> 00:23:27,087
But if you elect me,
496
00:23:27,111 --> 00:23:30,351
I'll surround myself with
the nicest and smartest people.
497
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,528
I'll work so hard to make you proud
498
00:23:32,552 --> 00:23:35,922
and make sure that you can hug
your sick pets longer
499
00:23:35,946 --> 00:23:39,752
and that you'll get to spend
as many healthy days as possible
500
00:23:39,776 --> 00:23:41,188
with the ones you love.
501
00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:44,738
Because family... family's everything.
502
00:23:57,838 --> 00:24:01,382
Oliver Foley, surprising
every pollster in Iowa,
503
00:24:01,406 --> 00:24:03,036
has won the first caucus.
504
00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:05,343
In a stunning come- from-behind upset,
505
00:24:05,367 --> 00:24:08,912
11-year-old Oliver Foley
has won the Iowa caucus.
506
00:24:12,548 --> 00:24:13,917
I don't know why people are so surprised.
507
00:24:13,941 --> 00:24:16,528
I mean, Oliver really
connects with people.
508
00:24:16,552 --> 00:24:18,008
He was the 13th story on the news,
509
00:24:18,032 --> 00:24:20,532
and together we made him
headline material.
510
00:24:20,556 --> 00:24:22,055
I mean, a-after tonight,
I-I think he's poised
511
00:24:22,079 --> 00:24:23,622
to win the whole thing. I really do.
512
00:24:23,646 --> 00:24:26,582
Really? All the national polls
put him very far behind.
513
00:24:26,606 --> 00:24:29,019
Listen, polls are meaningless
when the American people
514
00:24:29,043 --> 00:24:31,587
find someone who honestly
and truly speaks
515
00:24:31,611 --> 00:24:33,371
to their core values.
516
00:25:05,993 --> 00:25:08,648
I'm the President! Yeah!
517
00:25:15,655 --> 00:25:17,763
This is so cool.
518
00:25:20,398 --> 00:25:22,333
This is the president. Bomb Russia!
519
00:25:22,357 --> 00:25:23,813
I'm just kidding.
520
00:25:23,837 --> 00:25:25,528
I'm just kidding. Don't worry.
521
00:25:26,894 --> 00:25:28,872
Can't believe I get to live here now.
522
00:25:28,897 --> 00:25:30,048
Well, you're in charge now, Oliver...
523
00:25:30,191 --> 00:25:31,995
uh, Mr. President.
524
00:25:32,019 --> 00:25:34,317
You're the leader of the free world.
525
00:25:34,341 --> 00:25:37,435
Well... as leader of the free world,
526
00:25:37,459 --> 00:25:39,916
we need to fulfill my campaign promises.
527
00:25:39,940 --> 00:25:42,222
- ASAP.
- Absolutely.
528
00:25:42,246 --> 00:25:46,444
First off, free video games
for every American.
529
00:25:46,468 --> 00:25:48,402
Nintendo, PlayStation,
530
00:25:48,426 --> 00:25:49,969
whatever they want.
531
00:25:49,993 --> 00:25:51,014
Um...
532
00:25:51,038 --> 00:25:52,755
Oliver...
533
00:25:52,779 --> 00:25:55,714
Honey, I don't think that we can
quite just do that.
534
00:25:55,738 --> 00:25:57,173
What are you talking about, Mom?
535
00:25:57,197 --> 00:25:59,283
Well, I mean that there are laws.
536
00:25:59,307 --> 00:26:00,719
Congress.
537
00:26:00,743 --> 00:26:03,079
We talked about this, remember, honey?
538
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:05,373
But I promised everyone video games,
539
00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,900
and you, Mr. Chief of Staff,
540
00:26:07,924 --> 00:26:09,772
are gonna make sure that happens.
541
00:26:09,796 --> 00:26:12,209
Well, I'm not quite sure
that Congress is gonna
542
00:26:12,233 --> 00:26:14,515
go for that, Mr. President, especially
543
00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:16,474
given the way the national
debt looks right now.
544
00:26:16,498 --> 00:26:18,606
And plus, companies aren't
just going to willingly
545
00:26:18,630 --> 00:26:19,869
give away their games.
546
00:26:19,893 --> 00:26:21,435
Guess they'll just have to.
547
00:26:21,459 --> 00:26:22,828
- Yes, but...
- But nothing.
548
00:26:22,852 --> 00:26:24,569
They have to.
549
00:26:24,593 --> 00:26:26,310
I made a promise.
550
00:26:26,334 --> 00:26:30,967
So, they give away 270 million games
551
00:26:30,991 --> 00:26:34,884
to every American,
or we put a surcharge tax
552
00:26:34,908 --> 00:26:36,799
of a million dollars a Game Boy
553
00:26:36,823 --> 00:26:38,931
and put them out of business in a day.
554
00:26:38,955 --> 00:26:42,689
The people voted. We have
to give 'em what we promised.
555
00:26:46,093 --> 00:26:48,695
- Hey, Oliver.
- Mr. President.
556
00:26:49,444 --> 00:26:51,378
Sorry, Raff, but it sounds really cool.
557
00:26:51,402 --> 00:26:52,741
You're right.
558
00:26:53,401 --> 00:26:55,988
Mr. President, maybe we should,
uh, hold off
559
00:26:56,013 --> 00:26:58,220
on the video game thing
until you get settled in...
560
00:26:58,245 --> 00:27:01,735
I'm settled in, Raff,
and I know what I want.
561
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,217
And you guys are gonna
get that done for me
562
00:27:04,372 --> 00:27:07,133
or I'll get otherpeople
to get it done for me.
563
00:27:07,157 --> 00:27:09,440
There won't be a shortage
of people who want to work
564
00:27:09,464 --> 00:27:12,249
for the new president
of the United States.
565
00:27:14,251 --> 00:27:17,056
Now... where's the White House kitchen?
566
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,407
I want a triple-scoop
chocolate chip mint,
567
00:27:20,431 --> 00:27:23,410
vanilla and coffee ice cream
sundae with whipped cream,
568
00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:25,398
chocolate sauce and sprinkles!
569
00:27:38,058 --> 00:27:40,166
I want to make a new vlog of me singing
570
00:27:40,190 --> 00:27:42,690
and all these dancers around me
dressed like soldiers.
571
00:27:42,714 --> 00:27:45,633
Mm-hmm. I'm not sure if vlogging
is the best way to communicate.
572
00:27:45,657 --> 00:27:46,893
Of course it is.
573
00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:48,696
I want to sing about world peace.
574
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,220
The lyrics should be something like,
575
00:27:50,244 --> 00:27:52,352
"Either you're with peace,
576
00:27:52,376 --> 00:27:54,020
or you're not,"
577
00:27:54,044 --> 00:27:56,748
and if they're not, we start
to kill off all the dancers.
578
00:27:56,772 --> 00:27:59,098
- Um...
- I mean, not for real, obviously.
579
00:27:59,122 --> 00:28:01,187
But in the video, all bloody and stuff.
580
00:28:01,211 --> 00:28:02,447
It'll be cool.
581
00:28:04,911 --> 00:28:07,324
Dog selection today, Mr. President.
582
00:28:07,348 --> 00:28:08,586
Finally!
583
00:28:08,610 --> 00:28:11,894
Hi. Hello! Oh, yes, you are so sweet.
584
00:28:11,918 --> 00:28:14,070
Hey, come here, come here.
585
00:28:14,094 --> 00:28:15,854
Okay, no. No.
586
00:28:15,878 --> 00:28:17,638
No. Maybe.
587
00:28:17,662 --> 00:28:19,249
No.
588
00:28:19,273 --> 00:28:21,120
Maybe. No.
589
00:28:21,144 --> 00:28:23,253
This one! This guy right here!
590
00:28:23,277 --> 00:28:24,384
No, no, no, this one.
591
00:28:24,408 --> 00:28:27,713
He's perfect. My new Homer.
592
00:28:27,737 --> 00:28:29,302
It's a female dog, sir.
593
00:28:29,326 --> 00:28:30,826
What? Ew!
594
00:28:30,850 --> 00:28:32,392
What were you thinking?
595
00:28:32,416 --> 00:28:33,872
- I thought, um...
- Thought what?
596
00:28:33,896 --> 00:28:35,178
I want a new Homer!
597
00:28:35,202 --> 00:28:37,267
Does Homer sound like
a girl's name to you?
598
00:28:37,291 --> 00:28:38,860
Well, there's other dogs here, sir.
599
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,792
Get rid of 'em. I don't want 'em.
600
00:28:40,816 --> 00:28:42,925
Um, sir? These dogs were
selected from the pound.
601
00:28:42,949 --> 00:28:45,449
I don't really care. I don't want them.
602
00:28:45,473 --> 00:28:48,582
Okay. It is,
however, time for your physical.
603
00:28:48,606 --> 00:28:50,584
Physical? No way.
604
00:28:50,608 --> 00:28:52,325
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. President,
but Congress requires
605
00:28:52,349 --> 00:28:54,567
that the president get a yearly physical.
606
00:28:54,591 --> 00:28:56,025
Well, then fire Congress.
607
00:28:56,049 --> 00:28:57,651
We can't quite do that.
608
00:28:57,675 --> 00:28:59,051
Well, I'm not gonna see any doctor.
609
00:28:59,075 --> 00:29:00,768
Especially an old man doctor.
610
00:29:00,792 --> 00:29:02,335
Okay, but it's scheduled for today, so...
611
00:29:02,359 --> 00:29:03,946
Well, then un-schedule it.
612
00:29:03,970 --> 00:29:06,122
And never rescheduleit.
613
00:29:06,146 --> 00:29:09,429
That's the only real schedule
I can get behind.
614
00:29:09,453 --> 00:29:12,171
And make a new law: no old doctors.
615
00:29:12,195 --> 00:29:13,673
Everyone okay with that?
616
00:29:16,305 --> 00:29:18,743
I said, is everyone okay with that?
617
00:29:19,512 --> 00:29:20,832
Yes, Mr. President.
618
00:29:20,856 --> 00:29:21,901
Yes, Mr. President.
619
00:29:24,338 --> 00:29:25,881
Think fast!
620
00:29:25,905 --> 00:29:28,318
- He got me.
- You lose, you lose.
621
00:29:28,342 --> 00:29:30,910
- He got me.
- Think fast!
622
00:29:32,302 --> 00:29:34,411
- Mr. Chairman, Mitch. Can...?
- What is it, Raff?
623
00:29:34,435 --> 00:29:35,934
President wants a military parade
624
00:29:35,958 --> 00:29:37,370
for his sister's birthday next week.
625
00:29:37,394 --> 00:29:38,676
I am knee-deep in donkey
shit trying to organize it.
626
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:41,409
- Right, uh, can I...?
- What? Can I what?
627
00:29:42,051 --> 00:29:43,986
Can I get a minute with you?
628
00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,510
What is it, Raff? You've
been out of sorts for weeks.
629
00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:47,772
Um...
630
00:29:52,148 --> 00:29:53,430
Aren't you a little worried?
631
00:29:53,454 --> 00:29:54,779
I'm always worried.
632
00:29:54,803 --> 00:29:56,215
What's your problem?
633
00:29:56,239 --> 00:29:57,608
Get out of the way!
634
00:29:57,632 --> 00:29:59,895
Mr. President coming through!
Get out of my way!
635
00:30:00,940 --> 00:30:03,309
- Hey.
- Hey.
636
00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:04,937
Choo-choo!
637
00:30:04,961 --> 00:30:06,543
Move it!
638
00:30:06,567 --> 00:30:09,272
Hey, order pizza for everyone.
639
00:30:09,296 --> 00:30:12,057
Don't you think
the president seems like a...?
640
00:30:12,081 --> 00:30:13,885
- A kid.
- Right.
641
00:30:14,234 --> 00:30:16,390
Like a spoiled kid. Like a...
642
00:30:18,112 --> 00:30:19,456
...like the most spoiled kid
643
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,371
in the history of the world, you know?
644
00:30:21,395 --> 00:30:23,460
He's commander-in-chief,
this is the greatest country
645
00:30:23,484 --> 00:30:24,809
in the world. President says "Jump,"
646
00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:26,071
I say "How high?"
647
00:30:26,095 --> 00:30:27,377
I don't care that he's a kid.
648
00:30:27,401 --> 00:30:28,595
Approval rating's through the roof,
649
00:30:28,619 --> 00:30:29,652
everybody loves their video games.
650
00:30:29,676 --> 00:30:31,424
Strange time to be talking treason,
651
00:30:31,448 --> 00:30:32,730
Hanks.
652
00:30:32,754 --> 00:30:33,818
Treason?
653
00:30:33,842 --> 00:30:35,472
- Treason.
- No, I-I'm not
654
00:30:35,496 --> 00:30:37,430
- talking treason.
- I'm, I'm not... Sure sounds like it.
655
00:30:37,454 --> 00:30:39,389
And I don't like it and I won't have it.
656
00:30:39,413 --> 00:30:41,130
Understood?
657
00:30:41,678 --> 00:30:42,741
Understood.
658
00:30:42,766 --> 00:30:44,055
Good.
659
00:30:50,119 --> 00:30:51,227
Helen.
660
00:30:51,251 --> 00:30:53,316
- Hey.
- Helen.
661
00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:56,232
Oliver's not the president,
you are the real president.
662
00:30:56,256 --> 00:30:58,364
Don't you think it's time you intervened?
663
00:30:58,945 --> 00:31:00,608
Intervene?
664
00:31:01,652 --> 00:31:03,674
Why would I do that?
665
00:31:03,698 --> 00:31:07,417
Raff, everything you said
would come true has.
666
00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:09,027
He connects with people.
667
00:31:09,051 --> 00:31:10,550
My child.
668
00:31:10,574 --> 00:31:12,161
He touches people.
669
00:31:12,185 --> 00:31:16,145
Intervening's the last thing
I'm gonna do.
670
00:31:24,721 --> 00:31:26,697
I say if it's bothering you that much,
671
00:31:26,721 --> 00:31:27,959
you should just talk with him.
672
00:31:27,983 --> 00:31:29,700
Okay, it's just hard to know
673
00:31:29,724 --> 00:31:32,181
what to say to an 11-year-old
who's also the president.
674
00:31:32,205 --> 00:31:34,009
Well, you've done pretty good thus far.
675
00:31:34,033 --> 00:31:36,035
Yeah. It was easier before.
676
00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:40,102
Listen, we're mercenaries, right?
677
00:31:40,126 --> 00:31:42,104
I mean, that's what we are.
678
00:31:42,128 --> 00:31:43,931
Your big mistake was staying
679
00:31:43,955 --> 00:31:45,498
with him in the White House.
680
00:31:45,522 --> 00:31:46,978
You should have followed me.
681
00:31:47,002 --> 00:31:49,937
And I moved on and business is booming.
682
00:31:50,371 --> 00:31:52,505
Didn't have to stick
around and have regrets,
683
00:31:52,529 --> 00:31:54,625
see how the sausage is made.
684
00:31:55,445 --> 00:31:57,119
It's just, no one seems to be willing
685
00:31:57,143 --> 00:31:58,511
to confront him, you know?
686
00:31:58,535 --> 00:32:00,426
Even his parents seem cowed.
687
00:32:00,450 --> 00:32:02,167
Well, maybe they are cowed.
688
00:32:02,191 --> 00:32:04,126
Or maybe everyone's okay with it.
689
00:32:04,150 --> 00:32:05,779
I mean, sure, he's a little bit bratty,
690
00:32:05,803 --> 00:32:07,826
but so are a lot of kids, it's a phase.
691
00:32:07,850 --> 00:32:09,435
Like your chamomile tea phase,
692
00:32:09,459 --> 00:32:11,089
it's gonna pass.
693
00:32:11,113 --> 00:32:13,004
Raff, you of all people knew
694
00:32:13,028 --> 00:32:14,353
what you were getting into
695
00:32:14,377 --> 00:32:16,486
when you decided to run his campaign.
696
00:32:17,273 --> 00:32:19,097
Try and enjoy this moment
697
00:32:19,121 --> 00:32:21,621
instead of worrying so much.
698
00:32:21,645 --> 00:32:23,275
You're the conquering hero.
699
00:32:23,299 --> 00:32:24,732
Right?
700
00:32:24,756 --> 00:32:27,888
One of the most famous
campaign managers in history.
701
00:32:28,451 --> 00:32:32,205
The man who got Oliver
Foley elected president.
702
00:32:36,617 --> 00:32:38,053
Thanks.
703
00:32:41,535 --> 00:32:43,295
I tried to do the right thing...
704
00:32:43,319 --> 00:32:45,254
for once.
705
00:32:45,278 --> 00:32:48,257
Mr. Hanks.
706
00:32:48,281 --> 00:32:50,765
We're losing him.
Get the crash cart in here.
707
00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:07,928
You distracted me, Raff.
708
00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:09,191
Oh, sorry.
709
00:33:09,215 --> 00:33:10,496
It's okay.
710
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,237
I never get a hole-in-one.
711
00:33:12,261 --> 00:33:13,788
And it sucks.
712
00:33:15,917 --> 00:33:17,053
Want to play?
713
00:33:17,077 --> 00:33:19,367
Could use the company.
My sister has homework
714
00:33:19,391 --> 00:33:21,290
and the Secretary of Homeland Security
715
00:33:21,314 --> 00:33:23,142
sucks at golf.
716
00:33:25,231 --> 00:33:26,884
Um, sure, thank you.
717
00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:33,519
I think Nixon put in the golf thing.
718
00:33:33,543 --> 00:33:35,565
- But it's so boring, putting.
- Mm-hmm.
719
00:33:35,977 --> 00:33:37,816
Who wants to just putt?
720
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,222
I want windmills and pirate ships.
721
00:33:40,246 --> 00:33:41,527
Those little pencils to keep track.
722
00:33:41,551 --> 00:33:43,031
Right.
723
00:33:49,472 --> 00:33:51,276
- Can I speak candidly?
- I don't know.
724
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:52,562
Can you?
725
00:33:55,739 --> 00:33:57,790
Um, I'm a little worried.
726
00:33:58,307 --> 00:34:00,168
So am I, actually.
727
00:34:01,335 --> 00:34:02,920
What do you mean?
728
00:34:06,098 --> 00:34:07,300
I mean...
729
00:34:07,601 --> 00:34:09,603
this treason thing's pretty serious.
730
00:34:12,234 --> 00:34:15,170
You like the lighting? I think it's cool.
731
00:34:15,669 --> 00:34:17,172
I'm not being treasonous, Oliver.
732
00:34:17,196 --> 00:34:18,608
I'm just worried about a few things.
733
00:34:18,632 --> 00:34:20,218
There is a difference.
734
00:34:20,242 --> 00:34:22,351
- Hit your ball, Raff.
- Oliver.
735
00:34:22,375 --> 00:34:23,680
Putt.
736
00:34:34,909 --> 00:34:36,120
Not bad.
737
00:34:37,346 --> 00:34:38,498
My turn.
738
00:34:42,046 --> 00:34:43,372
Thing is, Raff...
739
00:34:43,396 --> 00:34:45,330
you were my first real supporter.
740
00:34:45,755 --> 00:34:48,090
Hurts me that you're
not fully backing me.
741
00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:53,991
Fuck! I never get it in
742
00:34:54,015 --> 00:34:55,139
on the first try!
743
00:34:56,015 --> 00:34:57,821
Oliver, I do back you.
744
00:34:57,845 --> 00:34:59,586
- I just think that the...
- No.
745
00:34:59,610 --> 00:35:01,433
You don't get to think.
746
00:35:01,457 --> 00:35:04,523
You just back me.
You back me unconditionally.
747
00:35:04,547 --> 00:35:06,873
Whatever happened to surrounding
yourself with the greatest minds
748
00:35:06,897 --> 00:35:08,919
so that you could get
the most informed opinions?
749
00:35:08,943 --> 00:35:10,149
That was your idea.
750
00:35:10,173 --> 00:35:12,555
Your line in that commercial
about my dying dog.
751
00:35:13,769 --> 00:35:15,312
My dog's dying, Raff.
752
00:35:16,037 --> 00:35:17,449
He's dying.
753
00:35:17,473 --> 00:35:18,929
I'm such a good actor.
754
00:35:19,330 --> 00:35:21,366
I just pretended Homer was dying.
755
00:35:21,390 --> 00:35:23,629
Just to get you back on my team.
756
00:35:24,527 --> 00:35:25,805
No!
757
00:35:25,829 --> 00:35:27,309
I want a hole-in-one!
758
00:35:30,778 --> 00:35:33,620
There! Hole-in-one! I win!
759
00:35:34,795 --> 00:35:36,338
That's not the way it works.
760
00:35:36,362 --> 00:35:37,431
It isn't?
761
00:35:38,668 --> 00:35:39,993
No.
762
00:35:40,017 --> 00:35:41,821
I said it was a hole-in-one.
763
00:35:41,845 --> 00:35:43,214
And I'm president.
764
00:35:43,238 --> 00:35:45,893
Do you support me or are you treasonous?
765
00:35:54,249 --> 00:35:56,358
I'm not treasonous, Oliver.
766
00:35:56,784 --> 00:35:59,099
Mr. President.
767
00:35:59,123 --> 00:36:02,518
"I'm not treasonous, Mr. President."
768
00:36:05,565 --> 00:36:08,065
I'm not treasonous, Mr. President.
769
00:36:08,089 --> 00:36:09,467
Good.
770
00:36:09,491 --> 00:36:12,267
So, it was a hole-in-one, right?
771
00:36:15,531 --> 00:36:16,762
No.
772
00:36:18,264 --> 00:36:19,970
No, it wasn't.
773
00:36:22,184 --> 00:36:25,535
It was not a hole-in-one, Oliver.
774
00:36:32,418 --> 00:36:34,091
Gun!
775
00:36:34,115 --> 00:36:35,377
There's a gun! Shoot him.
776
00:36:41,209 --> 00:36:43,187
REPORTER What do you
think about Raff Hanks?
777
00:36:43,211 --> 00:36:46,712
Oh, I think he's
the worst scum of the earth.
778
00:36:46,736 --> 00:36:49,454
How dare he try and attack
that sweet little boy?
779
00:36:49,478 --> 00:36:51,978
The president dodged a bullet. Literally.
780
00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:53,149
Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
781
00:36:53,173 --> 00:36:54,764
- He got what he deserved.
- Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
782
00:36:54,788 --> 00:36:55,721
Raff Hanks... Raff Hanks...
783
00:36:55,745 --> 00:36:56,592
Raff Hanks got... got...
784
00:36:56,616 --> 00:36:58,028
...got what he deserved.
785
00:36:58,052 --> 00:37:00,465
Glad to see you awake, Mr. Hanks.
786
00:37:00,489 --> 00:37:02,119
Was afraid we lost you there.
787
00:37:02,143 --> 00:37:04,948
- What?
- You need an operation
788
00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:07,080
on a ruptured spleen
and a punctured lung.
789
00:37:07,104 --> 00:37:09,885
The president has asked for
his very own doctor to help you.
790
00:37:09,909 --> 00:37:12,129
You're not the doctor?
791
00:37:12,153 --> 00:37:14,479
The law does not permit me
to be a doctor.
792
00:37:14,503 --> 00:37:16,263
The doctor will be with you shortly.
793
00:37:21,410 --> 00:37:22,705
All right.
794
00:37:22,729 --> 00:37:25,011
Let's get this done quick, mister.
795
00:37:25,035 --> 00:37:26,665
No.
796
00:37:28,952 --> 00:37:30,277
No.
797
00:37:30,301 --> 00:37:32,296
I want to finish my video games.
798
00:37:32,842 --> 00:37:34,690
No! No!
799
00:37:41,138 --> 00:37:43,552
Society is a fragile ecosystem.
800
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:47,338
Razzle and dazzle people
with the right lies
801
00:37:47,362 --> 00:37:49,732
and eventually they'll go blind
to the madness
802
00:37:49,756 --> 00:37:51,734
right in front of their faces.
803
00:37:51,758 --> 00:37:55,564
Raff Hanks made a living
selling the American dream.
804
00:37:55,588 --> 00:37:59,437
But, once sold,
he created a true nightmare
805
00:37:59,461 --> 00:38:01,483
that he couldn't buy back.
806
00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:03,786
Especially not here...
807
00:38:04,553 --> 00:38:06,531
in The Twilight Zone.
57560
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