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1
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- HEADMASTER AT THE BEDSIDE -
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Good morning! Rise and shine,
Brush your teeth, make the bed.
3
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Good morning!
Brush your teeth, make the bed.
4
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- Good morning! Brush...
- Brush your teeth, make the bed!
5
00:02:27.481 --> 00:02:29.358
Good morn...
6
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I can't!
7
00:02:53.481 --> 00:02:55.730
Come on...
8
00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:08.561
It doesn't want to.
9
00:03:32.361 --> 00:03:34.875
Ebba calling Olga...
10
00:03:50.721 --> 00:03:53.554
You're late, Max,
They're here.
11
00:03:53.681 --> 00:03:57.435
What? It's only half past eight.
12
00:03:57.601 --> 00:04:03.119
- It will stand up eventually. It always has.
- Yes, it will stand...
13
00:04:03.481 --> 00:04:08.919
Stop it, Max, it's not unusual.
It happens to everyone.
14
00:04:09.410 --> 00:04:14.638
It's good that this doesn't happen
often with your little tuppendix.
15
00:04:14.761 --> 00:04:16.558
You mean "appendix"?
16
00:04:16.681 --> 00:04:20.754
Not tuppendix, but appendix.
It's Latin, meaning "appendage".
17
00:04:20.881 --> 00:04:26.478
Yes, you told me, it contains
neither muscles nor bones, and yet ...
18
00:04:27.121 --> 00:04:31.831
... yet, it's just that.
An... appendage!
19
00:04:32.281 --> 00:04:38.151
Is it because of troubles at school?
Why are you so nervous about this meeting?
20
00:04:38.281 --> 00:04:41.751
My father's the Chairman of the Board,
so he won't go against you,
21
00:04:54.201 --> 00:04:58.991
Olga calling Bertha! The big honcho is
heading towards the Headmaster's office.
22
00:05:00.100 --> 00:05:02.710
They're here now!
23
00:05:03.561 --> 00:05:08.555
- It gets worse and worse.
- What were you doing at that age, Hansen?
24
00:05:08.681 --> 00:05:12.356
You oiled the blackboard so the
schoolmaster couldn't write on it.
25
00:05:12.561 --> 00:05:15.280
- No, I don't remember that!
- No, no... I don't remember...
26
00:05:18.681 --> 00:05:23.675
- Good morning, Professor.
- Good morning, Mr. Chairman.
27
00:05:27.921 --> 00:05:32.870
Sorry, it's time for English class.
"One, two, three. I can hop, I can run ... "
28
00:05:34.321 --> 00:05:37.313
Please sit down, boys...
29
00:05:47.681 --> 00:05:49.194
Max...
30
00:05:50.810 --> 00:05:53.630
Is something on your mind?
31
00:05:54.410 --> 00:05:58.751
I think there's something wrong ...
Something wrong with me.
32
00:05:58.921 --> 00:06:03.676
Not at all, Max.
Deal with them quickly and leave.
33
00:06:04.100 --> 00:06:05.753
Do you ...
34
00:06:06.521 --> 00:06:10.992
- Do you think I should seek medical attention?
- No.
35
00:06:11.401 --> 00:06:17.192
You have no classes after the meeting.
Come back here, and we'll have some coffee.
36
00:06:25.641 --> 00:06:29.190
- It's locked.
- The time to the half minute.
37
00:06:29.321 --> 00:06:33.951
It's nine o'clock. When my
watch says it's nine, then it's nine.
38
00:06:34.810 --> 00:06:37.198
- Punctuality is a virtue in school!
- Where is that man?
39
00:06:37.361 --> 00:06:40.990
I don't know, he isn't my son in law!
40
00:06:41.121 --> 00:06:43.320
Kiss my ass, Hansen!
41
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STAY OFF
Waxed Floor
42
00:06:56.841 --> 00:07:03.189
I recall that my great-grandfather stuck a
a pitchfork in your great-grandfather's belly!
43
00:07:03.321 --> 00:07:06.677
And he hanged your great-
grandfather for being a murderer!
44
00:07:06.801 --> 00:07:09.190
He enjoyed killing your family!
45
00:07:15.561 --> 00:07:18.758
Right on time, by your watch!
46
00:07:19.881 --> 00:07:24.318
Calling Bertha... I'm in position
outside the window. I repeat...
47
00:07:24.441 --> 00:07:27.114
... I'm in position.
48
00:07:27.521 --> 00:07:30.877
- Krab! Krab! Krabbesö!
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
49
00:07:31.100 --> 00:07:32.878
Non plus ultra ...
50
00:07:33.100 --> 00:07:36.835
They're singing at the table.
Mikkelmax is being given the floor.
51
00:07:36.961 --> 00:07:40.158
He looks sick today.
Standby...
52
00:07:40.361 --> 00:07:44.593
It will cost about 100,000 kronor.
That's nothing these days.
53
00:07:44.721 --> 00:07:51.399
If construction starts soon,
it will be ready for the new term.
54
00:07:55.801 --> 00:08:01.671
I must say that the school board is not
enthusiastic about the the Headmaster's plan.
55
00:08:01.801 --> 00:08:07.433
It is rash. Bringing girls into
Krabbesögård will cause a great upheaval.
56
00:08:07.681 --> 00:08:11.515
Don't misunderstand me. I have
nothing against girls in and of themselves.
57
00:08:11.641 --> 00:08:16.112
- We were all young once.
- Yes, but it was different then!
58
00:08:16.241 --> 00:08:19.995
- We were younger then!
- We respected traditions.
59
00:08:20.121 --> 00:08:23.477
Why should we have girls here?
60
00:08:23.681 --> 00:08:29.153
Our scholars school has fared
well without girls for over 100 years.
61
00:08:29.281 --> 00:08:33.115
Our students have other things to think about!
62
00:08:36.881 --> 00:08:40.590
They're as nice as Jytte's,
and at least as large.
63
00:08:40.721 --> 00:08:46.790
Imagine caressing her goodies
for a few hours. I'd be happy to!
64
00:08:46.361 --> 00:08:49.194
She's almost too good for Mikkelmax.
65
00:08:50.681 --> 00:08:53.149
Olga here. Come in.
66
00:08:55.361 --> 00:08:58.876
- We're getting girls at the school!
- Girls?
67
00:08:59.100 --> 00:09:02.198
- Yes, I repeat: Girls!
- Girls?
68
00:09:03.201 --> 00:09:05.780
That Mikkelmax is okay!
69
00:09:05.761 --> 00:09:09.879
When the Board appointed me as the
school's youngest Headmaster ever I thought ...
70
00:09:10.100 --> 00:09:15.553
... you wanted a vibrant, modern school.
If so, there's only one way forward.
71
00:09:15.681 --> 00:09:17.194
Girls.
72
00:09:17.481 --> 00:09:21.872
A boys' school is an relic
that belongs in a museum.
73
00:09:22.100 --> 00:09:26.358
- Show some respect the school's traditions!
- Kiss my...
74
00:09:26.521 --> 00:09:31.390
... traditions!
They're good only as long as they are... well...
75
00:09:31.561 --> 00:09:34.712
Gentlemen, you are hopelessly old-fashioned!
76
00:09:34.841 --> 00:09:38.629
Max, be sensible now.
Let's talk about something else, ...
77
00:09:38.761 --> 00:09:42.674
... like the money. The school
doesn't have 50,000, much less 100,000.
78
00:09:42.801 --> 00:09:49.240
- He must think money grows on trees!
- Not with today's credit crunch.
79
00:09:49.361 --> 00:09:54.355
You can find a new Headmaster unless
I get classrooms for girls ... now!
80
00:09:54.521 --> 00:09:58.150
- Sodom and Gomorrah...
- It's the worst thing that could...
81
00:09:58.281 --> 00:09:59.873
One at a time!
82
00:10:00.100 --> 00:10:02.710
Who wants the floor?
Who wishes to speak?
83
00:10:02.241 --> 00:10:04.471
No, there's nothing more to discuss.
84
00:10:06.841 --> 00:10:08.991
The meeting is adjourned.
85
00:10:24.401 --> 00:10:27.400
Is the meeting over already?
86
00:10:29.601 --> 00:10:32.957
Wonderful! I missed you.
87
00:10:35.401 --> 00:10:40.350
It's going nowhere with those old fogies.
88
00:10:40.561 --> 00:10:44.315
- My father, for example?
- No, he's neither for it nor against it.
89
00:10:44.441 --> 00:10:48.832
- Aren't you simply being stubborn?
- No!
90
00:10:49.761 --> 00:10:56.314
- Then how do you feel?
- As if I want to do violence to someone!
91
00:10:57.361 --> 00:11:00.717
- Would it accomplish anything?
- Yes, it would make me feel better!
92
00:11:03.100 --> 00:11:05.834
Then beat me, darling.
93
00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.834
But, Line! No, Line...
94
00:11:11.561 --> 00:11:14.314
Go ahead, if it will help...
95
00:11:14.521 --> 00:11:18.150
No way, darling.
96
00:11:20.441 --> 00:11:22.830
Then I have another idea. Come...
97
00:11:28.681 --> 00:11:31.479
Off with the jacket...
98
00:11:31.841 --> 00:11:37.740
- I can get the 100,000 myself!
- ... then your buttons.
99
00:11:39.641 --> 00:11:42.997
Shall we have coffee first?
100
00:11:44.121 --> 00:11:46.874
- First?
- Did I sit too hard on you?
101
00:11:47.100 --> 00:11:49.799
No, not yet.
102
00:11:51.281 --> 00:11:52.919
- Are you in?
- Yes!
103
00:11:56.881 --> 00:11:59.679
- Is something wrong?
- No, only...
104
00:11:59.801 --> 00:12:01.678
Hello... hello... hello!
105
00:12:02.521 --> 00:12:05.194
- Don't worry about her.
- Don't be so stubborn, Max.
106
00:12:05.321 --> 00:12:07.357
- I'm not being stubborn.
- Yes! -No!
107
00:12:07.481 --> 00:12:12.839
- No, only when you don't get your way.
- Can I borrow 100,000 from you?
108
00:12:12.961 --> 00:12:17.751
- Not from me. I'm just a farmer.
- Line, your father is here!
109
00:12:17.881 --> 00:12:20.600
I'm leaving.
But I calmed them down.
110
00:12:20.761 --> 00:12:25.551
You shouldn't scold the old fogies.
They agreed to let you to raise the 100,000.
111
00:12:25.721 --> 00:12:28.189
- How about a little coffee?
- No, thanks.
112
00:12:29.121 --> 00:12:33.255
It's said that too much
coffee kills one's sex drive.
113
00:12:36.241 --> 00:12:43.272
- You only think about school!
- I'd like to, Line, if I just could...
114
00:12:44.841 --> 00:12:49.471
- Do you want some coffee?
- No, too much coffee kills...
115
00:12:50.441 --> 00:12:53.638
Can we go for a walk, instead?
116
00:12:53.841 --> 00:12:59.837
We can try... Do you remember the tree stump
in the enchanted forest, the one with the moss?
117
00:13:00.100 --> 00:13:02.356
We didn't have any problem there.
118
00:13:19.721 --> 00:13:27.570
- No, I can't...
- The old oak is still standing over there.
119
00:13:58.601 --> 00:14:02.640
After all the trouble climbing up here...
120
00:14:11.281 --> 00:14:15.194
No, Line!
The cold water, you know...
121
00:14:15.321 --> 00:14:18.119
Come on, Max,
We can try anyway!
122
00:14:18.321 --> 00:14:22.394
- No, Line...
- What is this all about?
123
00:14:23.321 --> 00:14:24.834
I...
124
00:14:27.201 --> 00:14:28.953
Dr. Petersen...
125
00:14:30.961 --> 00:14:32.997
What?
126
00:14:33.201 --> 00:14:35.431
Without my underwear?
127
00:14:36.161 --> 00:14:40.740
Is that really necessary, Dr. Petersen?
128
00:14:40.601 --> 00:14:46.517
I'm not going to rape you, Mikkelsen.
I only have so much time, and ...
129
00:14:46.641 --> 00:14:48.438
... it will amuse me.
130
00:14:54.241 --> 00:14:56.801
- Is there something wrong?
- Yes.
131
00:14:56.921 --> 00:15:00.152
Is there anyone who can help?
132
00:15:01.201 --> 00:15:04.477
Yes... a watchmaker!
133
00:15:11.361 --> 00:15:15.912
- Is this the member in question?
- Yes.
134
00:15:18.921 --> 00:15:21.799
It looks okay.
135
00:15:22.761 --> 00:15:26.959
How long has it been
since it was functioning?
136
00:15:28.441 --> 00:15:30.875
A week or so...
137
00:15:33.410 --> 00:15:35.760
Well, little things have their uses, too.
138
00:15:35.881 --> 00:15:39.840
You can get dressed now.
I've seen enough.
139
00:15:50.281 --> 00:15:55.639
Nothing wrong with the equipment.
It's probably just nerves.
140
00:15:55.761 --> 00:16:00.903
There's nothing wrong with my nervous system.
That's fine in every respect.
141
00:16:01.530 --> 00:16:06.498
Oh yeah? Are you forgetting that little
business about it not that working so well?
142
00:16:02.241 --> 00:16:06.598
143
00:16:06.721 --> 00:16:10.770
- Or rather, not all.
- Yes.
144
00:16:10.841 --> 00:16:14.675
When did you last see your wife naked?
145
00:16:15.521 --> 00:16:20.800
- What does that have to do with it?
- Headmaster Mikkelsen ...
146
00:16:22.121 --> 00:16:27.718
... which do you think is more erotically
arousing: a stark naked woman, ...
147
00:16:27.841 --> 00:16:31.436
... or one who is clothed?
148
00:16:34.601 --> 00:16:38.480
- Don't get personal, now ...
- I don't know.
149
00:16:39.561 --> 00:16:43.713
Then I'd like to show
you something interesting.
150
00:16:57.641 --> 00:17:00.917
- You've probably seen striptease before?
- Yes.
151
00:17:01.410 --> 00:17:03.760
This is a little different.
152
00:18:52.161 --> 00:18:55.756
- Now you see why I asked?
- Yes.
153
00:19:05.761 --> 00:19:11.119
- Aren't you going to dance, Erik?
- I'm excused from physical exercise - my leg.
154
00:19:15.810 --> 00:19:21.156
- Excused? Your sister's the Headmaster's wife!
- I don't hold discussions at that level.
155
00:19:21.281 --> 00:19:27.754
- When we have girls here, you'll be healthy!
- If we get them! They're expensive - 100,000!
156
00:19:27.881 --> 00:19:32.909
For 100 years the Mazurka has been a
tradition here. It's a beautiful dance, ...
157
00:19:33.410 --> 00:19:36.636
... a chivalric dance, a tribute to women.
158
00:19:42.241 --> 00:19:47.793
Mazurka... they need to learn
how to raise 100,000 in a hurry.
159
00:19:52.721 --> 00:19:56.430
Barneweller! The record player!
160
00:20:02.521 --> 00:20:05.274
I just noticed... it needed winding.
161
00:20:19.721 --> 00:20:22.281
Yes, come in!
162
00:20:31.601 --> 00:20:34.240
The Headmaster asked me to stop by ...
163
00:20:34.361 --> 00:20:39.754
He's not at home.
He just wanted you to take his...
164
00:20:40.281 --> 00:20:42.351
Take his...
165
00:20:42.961 --> 00:20:46.330
... his botany class tomorrow.
166
00:20:46.401 --> 00:20:49.438
His... in 2B, yes!
167
00:20:49.561 --> 00:20:53.679
- I'm home!
- It's just me, Headmaster. I...
168
00:20:53.801 --> 00:20:56.520
Your wife asked me to take your ...
169
00:20:56.681 --> 00:20:59.718
... your wife ... lying in bed ...
170
00:21:01.401 --> 00:21:03.198
... as you can see.
171
00:21:05.361 --> 00:21:08.194
2B... tomorrow.
172
00:21:09.681 --> 00:21:11.558
Botany.
173
00:21:12.561 --> 00:21:14.950
You're back already?
174
00:21:15.121 --> 00:21:17.351
What did the doctor say?
175
00:21:17.481 --> 00:21:20.439
That you're to get dressed.
176
00:21:23.161 --> 00:21:24.310
What?
177
00:21:27.201 --> 00:21:30.671
- It goes like that.
- That's right!
178
00:21:30.881 --> 00:21:32.712
Headmaster?
179
00:21:33.100 --> 00:21:38.473
- Does Barneweller have something to say?
- For every problem there's a solution.
180
00:21:38.641 --> 00:21:43.317
- For every mathematical problem, yes.
- No, we meant the Headmaster's problem.
181
00:21:44.161 --> 00:21:46.117
My problem?
182
00:21:46.641 --> 00:21:51.780
- What do you know about it?
- We think you're going about it the wrong way.
183
00:21:52.100 --> 00:21:56.313
- Isn't that a little personal?
- We have a particular interest in the matter.
184
00:21:56.441 --> 00:22:00.116
- What interest is that?
- If the school is going to be co-educational.
185
00:22:00.241 --> 00:22:01.980
- Girls in the school!
- We have room for them!
186
00:22:02.800 --> 00:22:07.256
- We've done the calculations.
- No... girls? You know what that will cost?
187
00:22:02.961 --> 00:22:07.398
188
00:22:07.356 --> 00:22:12.297
- Yes, we've considered the economics.
- We can come up with the money!
189
00:22:12.321 --> 00:22:15.836
- With jobs over the summer break.
- Bring out the model!
190
00:22:24.810 --> 00:22:26.231
What have you cooked up now?
191
00:22:26.361 --> 00:22:30.274
Do you know what this would cost?
Although, I suppose you do.
192
00:22:30.401 --> 00:22:32.869
What's 100,000 these days?
193
00:22:33.761 --> 00:22:38.391
- Very handsome, I must say.
- The girls will stay in the pensioners' wing.
194
00:22:38.521 --> 00:22:41.160
And here is the key...
195
00:22:41.481 --> 00:22:45.156
"Hotel Mazurka"?
What does this mean?
196
00:22:45.281 --> 00:22:50.116
- People are wild about staying at a castle.
- Advertise it as "A Chateau guesthouse"...
197
00:22:50.241 --> 00:22:54.154
-... "in a beautiful setting." People will pour in!
- Leaving cash when they check out!
198
00:22:54.281 --> 00:22:57.398
- We'll manage it ourselves.
- We have many more ideas.
199
00:22:59.161 --> 00:23:02.233
No, it just won't do.
200
00:23:02.401 --> 00:23:06.633
Well done, boys,
but it really won't do.
201
00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:38.959
- Carry these bags to room 112, please.
- No, I'm excused from physical exercise.
202
00:23:39.810 --> 00:23:41.549
This was your idea!
203
00:23:50.841 --> 00:23:52.832
32,500...
204
00:23:53.121 --> 00:23:56.431
That puts us approximately here...
205
00:23:59.321 --> 00:24:02.870
- It's...
- No, it's not.
206
00:24:03.410 --> 00:24:04.838
No, not at all.
207
00:24:09.721 --> 00:24:16.797
- Someone has certainly shot a lot of parrots.
- Not parrots, Herbert. Deer!
208
00:24:21.561 --> 00:24:26.351
- Shouldn't the beds be pushed together?
- A space between them can also be nice.
209
00:24:26.761 --> 00:24:28.991
A space between...!
210
00:24:30.601 --> 00:24:34.710
- No, I'm in a hurry!
- Okay, I'll be quick!
211
00:24:34.481 --> 00:24:36.437
Someone's coming!
212
00:24:40.521 --> 00:24:45.549
- I hope the room is suitable, Director.
- As long as it suits the Director's wife.
213
00:24:45.681 --> 00:24:48.912
- The Director's wife?
- That's you, darling!
214
00:24:49.410 --> 00:24:53.124
- I was just smoothing down the bed for you.
- Thank you, we don't want to be disturbed now.
215
00:24:56.321 --> 00:24:57.720
Goodbye...
216
00:25:00.441 --> 00:25:02.397
DOING HOMEWORK
217
00:25:14.721 --> 00:25:20.398
Søren and Erik, clean the large room in the
east tower. We don't have enough double beds.
218
00:25:20.521 --> 00:25:24.400
Then bring up the large
poster bed from the basement.
219
00:25:24.561 --> 00:25:29.555
- That old thing? From Christian IV's time?
- Do it! We'll say that he slept in it, ...
220
00:25:29.681 --> 00:25:31.637
... and charge an extra 20 kronor!
221
00:25:43.201 --> 00:25:46.830
- Have you been down in the basement before?
- No.
222
00:26:02.681 --> 00:26:06.435
Is it true that the place is haunted?
223
00:26:06.601 --> 00:26:07.920
Haunted... ?
224
00:26:08.410 --> 00:26:12.512
I'm crazy about ghosts.
It was in the ad.
225
00:26:16.481 --> 00:26:19.473
Who writes these ads?
226
00:26:25.601 --> 00:26:31.312
You have to hand it to them... they were right.
I take my hat off to the young people.
227
00:26:31.441 --> 00:26:33.955
The boys must be totally girl-crazy!
228
00:26:34.810 --> 00:26:37.835
- Sodom and Gomorrah...
- That's enough, Hansen.
229
00:26:52.481 --> 00:26:57.794
- That Mikkelmax is a good man.
- You should call him Headmaster Mikkelsen.
230
00:26:57.921 --> 00:27:01.596
Later, when you're an old man in the
schoolyard like me, you can call him "Mikkelmax".
231
00:27:01.721 --> 00:27:06.556
Here's the bed.
It's too heavy. We'll take another.
232
00:27:10.681 --> 00:27:13.832
How did you get such a young headmaster?
233
00:27:14.161 --> 00:27:17.756
- It was the former headmaster's wife.
- That doesn't make any sense!
234
00:27:17.881 --> 00:27:22.909
- There's the one we want. The narrow one.
- Come on, tell me what happened.
235
00:27:24.841 --> 00:27:30.393
He was an ordinary teacher.
We liked him, we trusted him.
236
00:27:30.561 --> 00:27:34.679
Unfortunately, he had to be
married, for moral reasons.
237
00:27:34.841 --> 00:27:38.197
We found a bride for him,
but he ran off, just like that!
238
00:27:38.361 --> 00:27:43.560
At the annual ball, Headmaster Bostedt's
wife dragged him off to bed with her!
239
00:27:43.681 --> 00:27:46.912
Maybe the Mazurka went to their heads!
240
00:27:47.810 --> 00:27:52.792
The next day Mikkelmax was deemed qualified,
appointed Headmaster, and married my sister.
241
00:27:53.241 --> 00:27:57.234
- The Head Witch is here!
- Who? Mrs. Bostedt?
242
00:28:13.601 --> 00:28:17.958
- Did the old headmaster ever find out?
- He was oblivious.
243
00:28:18.810 --> 00:28:20.436
That year he became Minister of Culture.
244
00:28:20.601 --> 00:28:24.913
- Welcome to Krubbesögård.
- Or the Hotel Mazurka?
245
00:28:25.410 --> 00:28:29.159
Good afternoon, Mr. Burneweller.
Do you have room for an old Headmaster's wife?
246
00:28:29.281 --> 00:28:32.671
Madam Minister of Culture, you look
younger and more beautiful than ever.
247
00:28:32.801 --> 00:28:35.474
Your usual flattery, "De Fontenay".
248
00:28:35.641 --> 00:28:37.874
- Here's Hansen ...
- Mr. Hansen!
249
00:28:37.874 --> 00:28:40.151
- Good day.
- Good day, Mr. Hansen.
250
00:28:41.810 --> 00:28:45.359
And here's my dear, unfortunate successor.
Good day.
251
00:28:45.481 --> 00:28:49.830
How is your husband?
Hearty and happy, I hope?
252
00:28:49.830 --> 00:28:50.531
Yes, thank you.
253
00:28:50.631 --> 00:28:54.596
Being Headmaster here
can be a little stressful ...
254
00:29:04.921 --> 00:29:09.358
- Good day, Mrs. Bostedt.
- Good day, Headmaster Mikkelsen.
255
00:29:09.561 --> 00:29:13.713
- Did I frighten you?
- It's been a long time since we ...
256
00:29:14.441 --> 00:29:18.150
... since I had the pleasure...
257
00:29:18.881 --> 00:29:23.193
Criminals always return
to the scene of the crime!
258
00:29:23.761 --> 00:29:27.595
How is Headmaster Bostedt ...
Minister of Culture?
259
00:29:27.761 --> 00:29:31.436
He's preparing himself.
He's always preparing himself.
260
00:29:31.561 --> 00:29:38.160
- But he's hearty and happy?
- Hearty? Of course, he's always hearty.
261
00:29:40.161 --> 00:29:42.914
Bertha calling winch operator...
262
00:29:56.761 --> 00:29:59.798
Niller, give me a hand here!
263
00:30:00.321 --> 00:30:01.674
Help!
264
00:30:01.801 --> 00:30:04.110
Get me down!
265
00:30:04.281 --> 00:30:06.795
Get me down, please!
266
00:30:06.961 --> 00:30:09.156
Help! Help!
267
00:30:30.361 --> 00:30:34.240
- I'll get you down right away!
- There's no rush.
268
00:30:46.161 --> 00:30:48.356
- Shouldn't you have brought the whole squad?
- Yeah...
269
00:30:49.810 --> 00:30:54.109
- Why do you think she's here?
- Mrs Bostedt? How should I know?
270
00:30:54.241 --> 00:30:58.598
- This is our chance! Go after her.
- What do you mean?
271
00:30:58.721 --> 00:31:01.679
You should be especially nice to her.
272
00:31:01.801 --> 00:31:07.512
- Why should I do that?
- Not just friendly, but very friendly...
273
00:31:08.241 --> 00:31:11.153
Who else is staying here?
274
00:31:11.561 --> 00:31:14.598
No one I know, it would seem.
275
00:31:15.801 --> 00:31:21.340
- It's still a long way, Headmaster Mikkelsen.
- Yes, but we're nearly halfway there.
276
00:31:21.161 --> 00:31:27.919
Given the short time remaining,
there's a good chance you will fail.
277
00:31:28.410 --> 00:31:30.811
Max Mikkelsen usually gets what he wants.
278
00:31:32.172 --> 00:31:34.282
Yes... so we're opening an antique shop.
279
00:31:34.382 --> 00:31:38.247
The School Board has agreed to let
us sell the old stuff in the basement.
280
00:31:38.347 --> 00:31:44.373
- Copenhageners love that old junk.
- I thought it would be kind of ...
281
00:31:38.641 --> 00:31:44.273
282
00:31:44.401 --> 00:31:48.633
- ... of Mrs. Bostedt, if you wouldn't mind.
- I'd be happy to.
283
00:32:04.100 --> 00:32:08.438
Why, we've found lots
of interesting odd things.
284
00:32:09.641 --> 00:32:13.475
For example ...
A chamber pot.
285
00:32:14.201 --> 00:32:17.876
- The necessary jug!
- When? Now?
286
00:32:18.161 --> 00:32:22.791
- Sorry... I get it.
- Madam has an eye for quality.
287
00:32:24.401 --> 00:32:31.432
Much stems from the time when
Otto Krabbe-Krabbesø lived here.
288
00:32:31.601 --> 00:32:35.514
This is one of the more intriguing...
289
00:32:37.521 --> 00:32:40.274
Something from an old stove...?
290
00:32:40.441 --> 00:32:43.797
Or a rubber corset, perhaps?
291
00:32:43.961 --> 00:32:48.398
- No, it's a chastity belt.
- A chastity belt?
292
00:32:48.921 --> 00:32:54.359
When knights went off to war, they often
feared their wives would be unfaithful.
293
00:32:54.481 --> 00:33:00.795
So they put one of those on, and were
confident that she was unavailable ... locked.
294
00:33:01.601 --> 00:33:04.513
It's a horrible object.
Remove your finger, Hansen!
295
00:33:04.641 --> 00:33:10.432
- I can't, it hurts,
- It's the little one, you have nine others.
296
00:33:11.361 --> 00:33:16.674
It's odd that something like that became
unfashionable. It would still be useful today.
297
00:33:16.801 --> 00:33:20.240
Today's women are hot to jump in the sack.
298
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:22.824
- Excuse me, Mrs. Bosted!
- That's alright...
299
00:33:28.961 --> 00:33:33.790
Grains of Paradise, Field Bindweed, Castoreum...
300
00:33:33.321 --> 00:33:39.237
- We're in a hurry. What do you have there?
- "Cyprianus," what is it?
301
00:33:39.361 --> 00:33:44.435
Cyprianus is a book of witchcraft.
"Atus, Satus..."
302
00:33:44.561 --> 00:33:48.110
- It sounds scary.
- They're spells. Are you superstitious?
303
00:33:48.241 --> 00:33:53.235
- No!
- Recipes for potions and the like.
304
00:33:53.921 --> 00:33:58.949
It isn't make believe. It's been
proven that they stil work to this day!
305
00:33:59.961 --> 00:34:02.873
Here we have the ingredients!
306
00:34:03.321 --> 00:34:08.395
Angelica root...
Asafetida resin...
307
00:34:09.201 --> 00:34:12.989
Erik, shouldn't we be going upstairs?
They'll be missing us by now.
308
00:34:13.121 --> 00:34:17.239
- The guests will ready for their mazurka lesson.
- Are you afraid?
309
00:34:17.641 --> 00:34:19.711
- Not me!
- Listen...
310
00:34:20.410 --> 00:34:25.752
Love potion: Mix wall paste,
wine grapes, and teriaca ...
311
00:34:25.881 --> 00:34:33.640
... in a glass of milk containing
a crushed human tooth.
312
00:34:33.801 --> 00:34:38.238
- It sounds delicious!
- We're looking for something else...
313
00:34:38.721 --> 00:34:43.841
Here's a better one!
To get the glow of love and joy ...
314
00:34:43.961 --> 00:34:46.521
- The glow of love?
- Sexual arousal.
315
00:34:46.641 --> 00:34:51.780
- A little powdered Asafetida resin, ...
- Shit?
316
00:34:51.441 --> 00:34:55.798
... St. John's Wort and dwarf nettle, ...
317
00:34:55.921 --> 00:34:58.958
... whisked together
the whites of bird eggs, ...
318
00:34:59.810 --> 00:35:04.201
... and a bit of tender sea holly
while chanting: "Asus, satus, ...
319
00:35:04.361 --> 00:35:09.276
- "... cussitus, cussatus."
- That's sounds exciting.
320
00:35:09.781 --> 00:35:17.213
Of course! Why don't we provide everyone with
the glow of love? "Everything for the guests!"
321
00:35:40.281 --> 00:35:42.237
Hi there...
322
00:35:47.321 --> 00:35:50.154
I'll show Mrs. Bostedt to her room.
323
00:35:50.281 --> 00:35:51.953
Line!
324
00:35:52.761 --> 00:35:54.672
Fabian!
325
00:35:56.241 --> 00:36:04.273
- It's your old Fabian! Are you still single?
- No, I'm an old married housewife!
326
00:36:04.521 --> 00:36:07.319
- I can take care of myself.
- Thank you, Mrs. Bostedt.
327
00:36:07.681 --> 00:36:10.957
- So good to see you!
- Good day.
328
00:36:11.501 --> 00:36:13.537
Mix Makkelsen.
329
00:36:13.761 --> 00:36:16.150
This is Fabian.
330
00:36:16.681 --> 00:36:19.195
You betrayed our old ideals, then.
331
00:36:19.321 --> 00:36:23.872
That's Fabian. We were war
comrades in my revolutionary past.
332
00:36:24.100 --> 00:36:29.519
The ad read: "Chateau guesthouse for
broad-minded people." Just my style ...
333
00:36:29.781 --> 00:36:32.107
Do you have a room with a
view toward the inner courtyard?
334
00:36:32.107 --> 00:36:33.980
Yes, room 24.
335
00:36:34.761 --> 00:36:40.438
I'll get out of my driving gear, so we can
have a couple of broad-minded drinks later!
336
00:36:40.561 --> 00:36:45.960
I'm looking forward to it.
Jytte, show Mr. Fabian to room 24.
337
00:36:57.561 --> 00:36:59.199
No...
338
00:37:05.241 --> 00:37:10.474
- Hello, do you have a room?
- Unfortunately, we only have single rooms left.
339
00:37:10.601 --> 00:37:15.436
- But we're just married... newlyweds!
- What a shame!
340
00:37:15.601 --> 00:37:21.551
It isn't because you're not married...
guests trying to arrange something.
341
00:37:24.801 --> 00:37:28.714
Alright! Then we have something after all.
342
00:37:29.810 --> 00:37:31.879
- Come on, let's go upstairs.
- Already?
343
00:37:32.281 --> 00:37:36.399
Jens, show the young couple up to room 18.
344
00:37:40.321 --> 00:37:42.390
Congratulations!
345
00:37:43.801 --> 00:37:46.918
I'm allergic to rice!
346
00:37:47.841 --> 00:37:49.433
Oh... sorry!
347
00:37:50.441 --> 00:37:54.195
- Hans, go ahead. I have to make a call.
- Do you have to?
348
00:37:54.321 --> 00:37:56.391
Yes... to mama.
349
00:37:59.281 --> 00:38:03.638
Mazurka is a tradition
here at Krabbesögård.
350
00:38:03.841 --> 00:38:09.473
A beautiful dance, a chivalric dance,
a tribute to the woman.
351
00:39:06.601 --> 00:39:11.197
The Minister may have sent
his wife as a secret observer.
352
00:39:11.321 --> 00:39:17.396
- Otherwise, why did she arrive unannounced?
- She put in a call to Copenhagen.
353
00:39:17.521 --> 00:39:20.672
- What did I say?
- What did you say, Hansen?
354
00:39:20.801 --> 00:39:25.875
I wash my hands of this. I do.
Sodom and Gomorrah.
355
00:39:30.641 --> 00:39:36.796
We can take advantage of Mikkelsen's
threat to leave if he doesn't get the money.
356
00:39:36.921 --> 00:39:39.674
There are other possible Headmasters here.
357
00:39:40.801 --> 00:39:43.554
Thank you! Next couples on the floor!
358
00:39:43.721 --> 00:39:49.193
Everyone should have the chance to participate.
Remember to pay at the front desk.
359
00:39:49.321 --> 00:39:54.760
- I had no idea that you could mazurku.
- I can do anything you want.
360
00:40:04.521 --> 00:40:08.953
You were quite right, Max Mikkelsen.
It was a long time ago.
361
00:40:19.201 --> 00:40:21.780
Professor Holst!
362
00:40:25.201 --> 00:40:30.434
On behalf of the School Board,
we thank you for your efforts.
363
00:40:30.561 --> 00:40:36.400
It's an honor to help see that the
Krubbesös' traditions are maintained.
364
00:40:36.721 --> 00:40:43.633
Some of us believe that your talents
should be used in a more important post.
365
00:41:06.100 --> 00:41:09.994
- Are you happy?
- With Max? Yes, of course.
366
00:41:10.201 --> 00:41:13.511
It's not very apparent.
367
00:41:15.481 --> 00:41:17.676
But I am happy.
368
00:41:18.961 --> 00:41:20.917
I'm glad.
369
00:41:29.241 --> 00:41:32.358
- Manufacturer Rust...
- Wholesale sausage!
370
00:41:32.481 --> 00:41:34.472
- Nürnberg.
- Toys!
371
00:41:34.601 --> 00:41:38.706
- Shall we dance?
- What? I suppose so...
372
00:41:42.801 --> 00:41:46.191
Look, your husband is dancing
with the Culture Minister's wife.
373
00:41:46.321 --> 00:41:50.599
- Do you know Mrs. Bostedt?
- Not very well... not at all!
374
00:41:50.761 --> 00:41:54.754
Just from the media.
I'm not at all interested in politics.
375
00:41:56.321 --> 00:42:00.155
- Why don't we go to our room now?
- There's no hurry!
376
00:42:00.281 --> 00:42:02.556
No, of course not.
377
00:42:04.441 --> 00:42:07.717
- Can you bring me some coffee?
- Yeah, sure... if there's any left.
378
00:42:07.841 --> 00:42:12.471
It's the least you can do for one
who's the life of the party here!
379
00:42:23.241 --> 00:42:28.774
- Let's we make sure we've left nothing out.
- The words... in the formula.
380
00:42:30.921 --> 00:42:35.358
Atus, Satus, Fissetus...
381
00:42:35.761 --> 00:42:38.673
- Cusse!
- Cusse?
382
00:42:42.361 --> 00:42:47.230
Atus, Satus, Cussetus ,,,
383
00:42:52.441 --> 00:42:55.751
- Isn't it dangerous?
- Rubbish!
384
00:42:55.921 --> 00:42:59.834
What should we put it in?
The salt shakers!
385
00:43:12.761 --> 00:43:16.117
What on earth are you guys up to?
386
00:43:21.100 --> 00:43:24.311
- It's just a little salt...
- For an egg... yes.
387
00:43:24.441 --> 00:43:29.840
For an ostrich egg? I have enough
to do without cleaning up after you.
388
00:43:31.321 --> 00:43:37.669
By the way, have you seen how the Headmaster's
wife has been acting around that Fabian?
389
00:43:38.641 --> 00:43:40.871
I bet she wants to...
390
00:43:44.241 --> 00:43:50.840
- Is that for you, Jytte?
- No, it's for "Doormat", who's playing the king.
391
00:43:51.281 --> 00:43:55.672
But I think I'll have a cup myself.
He'll have to wait, ...
392
00:43:58.241 --> 00:44:00.755
... until it's all over.
393
00:44:01.641 --> 00:44:07.552
- Take him half a cup.
- It's all he deserves.
394
00:44:08.726 --> 00:44:10.455
The pig...
395
00:44:17.641 --> 00:44:23.790
- Won't you have some, too?
- It's too strong. We don't drink coffee.
396
00:44:29.521 --> 00:44:34.356
- What are you standing there staring at?
- You're a cute little coffee maker.
397
00:44:34.481 --> 00:44:37.120
Get out of here!
398
00:44:54.161 --> 00:44:57.949
No, take it to the "Doormat".
It's for the "Doormat"!
399
00:45:06.801 --> 00:45:10.555
Thank you for coming out tonight.
We'll continue tomorrow.
400
00:45:10.681 --> 00:45:14.833
Don't forget to report your time,
and make payment at the reception desk.
401
00:45:14.961 --> 00:45:19.751
We've done better at the Mazurka, Max.
Forgive me for saying it.
402
00:45:19.881 --> 00:45:24.330
You're right.
I wasn't very good this evening.
403
00:45:30.100 --> 00:45:33.676
Thank you for tonight, Mrs. Bostedt.
I hope I didn't spoil it for you.
404
00:45:33.801 --> 00:45:36.190
You know what I feel like doing?
405
00:45:36.361 --> 00:45:41.370
Taking a walk around the lake.
In the moonlight. Have you seen the school ...
406
00:45:41.161 --> 00:45:45.871
... when it's reflected in the lake?
- Yes, it is quite beautiful.
407
00:45:46.601 --> 00:45:52.676
- Damn! They've closed the kitchen!
- Don't you think about anything other than food?
408
00:45:52.801 --> 00:45:55.395
All that hopping around made me hungry.
409
00:46:01.561 --> 00:46:03.358
Oh, my scarf...
410
00:46:08.961 --> 00:46:13.273
- Are you finished already, Professor Holst?
- Fortunately, yes.
411
00:46:23.481 --> 00:46:27.599
"Some of us believe that your talents ...
412
00:46:32.481 --> 00:46:37.391
"... should be used in a more important post."
413
00:46:55.561 --> 00:47:01.591
You're... so good at mazurka,
Professor Holst!
414
00:47:01.761 --> 00:47:06.232
What did say you, little girl?
I take it you're interested...
415
00:47:12.201 --> 00:47:14.635
I really want to...
416
00:47:14.761 --> 00:47:19.730
- Right now.
- What do you know...
417
00:47:27.521 --> 00:47:30.194
Call me Hugo.
418
00:47:36.641 --> 00:47:40.839
I'm in room 13.
Just... come on!
419
00:47:47.601 --> 00:47:51.879
- Stop, Fabian. You're not being very nice.
- That's just what I'm trying to be.
420
00:47:52.100 --> 00:47:55.225
Line, we're two old war comrades ...
421
00:47:55.861 --> 00:48:00.239
No... now you can find someone
else to go to war with. Good night!
422
00:48:17.561 --> 00:48:21.310
- Uncontrollable mirth.
- 3:22 ...
423
00:48:21.201 --> 00:48:25.350
3:23 ...
Mild cramps.
424
00:48:34.201 --> 00:48:36.795
After 4:06 ...
425
00:48:37.810 --> 00:48:40.391
-... strong erotic sensations.
- Groping!
426
00:48:40.421 --> 00:48:42.670
- 4:15 ...
- It's getting filthy!
427
00:48:58.961 --> 00:49:01.714
Leave them be.
At...
428
00:49:01.841 --> 00:49:06.596
- ... six on the dot.
- At six on the dot... we backed out.
429
00:49:11.681 --> 00:49:14.929
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Yeah...
430
00:49:17.801 --> 00:49:21.111
Max! What were you thinking?
431
00:49:22.410 --> 00:49:27.350
Yes... it's just that ...
You look so beautiful.
432
00:49:28.961 --> 00:49:33.712
- I guess I'm a little woozy tonight.
- What about Fabian?
433
00:49:34.161 --> 00:49:36.550
Fabian? Do you know him?
434
00:49:36.681 --> 00:49:40.390
Yes...
No, not exactly...
435
00:49:40.561 --> 00:49:46.750
Just from magazines at the hairdresser.
He's a real playboy, ...
436
00:49:46.881 --> 00:49:50.920
... and philanderer.
If one can believe what you read.
437
00:49:51.810 --> 00:49:53.993
- I think ...
- What do you think?
438
00:49:54.121 --> 00:50:00.371
- That I need to get in there and check on things.
- Hurry up then, I'll stay here.
439
00:50:05.601 --> 00:50:08.718
Yes, mama... Yes, mama...
440
00:50:09.521 --> 00:50:11.113
Torben!
441
00:50:13.361 --> 00:50:14.999
Torben!
442
00:50:16.121 --> 00:50:21.514
- Have you seen my wife?
- 3,462... plus the dance lessons ...
443
00:50:22.481 --> 00:50:25.917
Go back to sleep, Torben.
444
00:50:27.401 --> 00:50:31.760
Yes, mama... Of course, mama...,
445
00:50:34.100 --> 00:50:35.798
Yes, mama.
446
00:51:27.241 --> 00:51:29.380
No, mama.
447
00:51:29.761 --> 00:51:31.433
No, mama.
448
00:51:33.121 --> 00:51:34.873
No, mama.
449
00:51:42.441 --> 00:51:45.956
Torben! Who just left?
450
00:51:48.961 --> 00:51:53.916
- Wake up, Torben! You should be in bed.
- What do you want?
451
00:51:54.201 --> 00:51:56.874
- Do you know who just left?
- Left?
452
00:51:57.100 --> 00:52:03.310
Yes, left! Oh, go to bed.
I'll close up.
453
00:52:13.601 --> 00:52:15.478
Yes, Reception.
454
00:52:16.641 --> 00:52:21.198
Max? Where did you go?
I miss you.
455
00:52:22.801 --> 00:52:25.873
No...
How long will you be there?
456
00:52:28.121 --> 00:52:30.919
Well then, I'll just lie down ...
457
00:52:31.410 --> 00:52:34.330
... alone.
Good night.
458
00:52:59.161 --> 00:53:03.916
Rise and shine!Brush your teeth, make the beds!
459
00:53:07.321 --> 00:53:10.870
Rise and shine!Brush your teeth, make the beds!
460
00:53:16.601 --> 00:53:18.956
Yes, I'll be right there!
461
00:53:20.241 --> 00:53:22.914
And for Professor Holst...
462
00:53:23.601 --> 00:53:28.470
- Five eggs for the "Doormat"?
- Professor Holst, if you please!
463
00:53:28.601 --> 00:53:32.799
- He needs no salt!
- No. 18 and No. 6, please.
464
00:53:32.961 --> 00:53:37.239
- Should I put salt in here?
- Who takes salt in their coffee?
465
00:53:40.810 --> 00:53:46.640
- How do we know who is whose?
- There's a difference between men and women.
466
00:54:08.241 --> 00:54:10.357
Good morning!
467
00:54:10.681 --> 00:54:16.414
What a lovely day!
The roster for the morning ride.
468
00:54:31.201 --> 00:54:33.431
And so we mount up...
469
00:54:46.100 --> 00:54:50.358
- Is everyone stoned?
- Erik says it's too much salt.
470
00:54:50.481 --> 00:54:55.350
Walk behind me through the
green forest, in a line. Come on!
471
00:54:58.201 --> 00:55:02.797
Let's forget about the sugar bowl.
We'll soon see if it's the right stuff.
472
00:55:05.100 --> 00:55:07.370
Good morning, ma'am,
473
00:55:08.441 --> 00:55:11.160
How did we sleep?
474
00:55:12.801 --> 00:55:15.998
- Please...
- Breakfast in bed. How lovely.
475
00:55:16.121 --> 00:55:18.635
Eggs... and salt.
476
00:55:33.441 --> 00:55:36.678
Anything else I can do for madam?
477
00:55:37.561 --> 00:55:39.199
Enjoy...
478
00:55:41.721 --> 00:55:45.111
Was it enough?
Was the witch powder in the shaker?
479
00:55:45.241 --> 00:55:50.913
Take this. We'll give her five minutes.
Then you go in with the sugar bowl.
480
00:55:54.321 --> 00:55:59.475
- Come and eat now, honey.
- Yes, thanks, I just need to...
481
00:56:00.201 --> 00:56:02.874
No thanks. I'm not hungry.
482
00:56:03.801 --> 00:56:07.919
You're always hungry in the morning.
Who are you writing to?
483
00:56:08.410 --> 00:56:13.474
The Minister. Our last chance.
I have to let him know we won't have enough.
484
00:56:15.641 --> 00:56:22.638
- Didn't you get anywhere with Mrs. Bostedt?
- With Mrs. Bostedt? What do you mean?
485
00:56:24.201 --> 00:56:28.558
Wasn't that why you were
rubbing up against her all evening?
486
00:56:28.681 --> 00:56:32.469
So what about you and that... Fabian?
487
00:56:33.561 --> 00:56:38.112
Max!
I actually think you're jealous.
488
00:56:39.481 --> 00:56:42.410
Don't bother me now, Line.
489
00:57:06.410 --> 00:57:10.990
- We forgot the sugar.
- That's so sweet... thanks.
490
00:57:15.100 --> 00:57:19.870
I love putting something hard in my mouth.
You want some?
491
00:57:27.410 --> 00:57:31.990
- What beautiful teeth you have.
- I lost a ...
492
00:57:32.121 --> 00:57:34.681
It isn't noticeable.
493
00:57:35.481 --> 00:57:41.780
Why... it isn't even noticeable
that you're just a schoolboy.
494
00:57:41.521 --> 00:57:47.357
- I'm in the highest...
- My... what big muscles you have!
495
00:57:48.321 --> 00:57:50.960
Take off your jacket.
496
00:57:51.321 --> 00:57:53.516
I'll help you.
497
00:57:55.521 --> 00:57:59.753
- No, Director, no!
- Would the Director care for some coffee?
498
00:57:59.881 --> 00:58:02.998
- Yes, thank you.
- Coffee first!
499
00:58:06.601 --> 00:58:12.153
How your heart is beating, my lovely boy.
Feel mine...
500
00:58:14.761 --> 00:58:17.559
- I can't feel anything.
- Then try here.
501
00:58:18.641 --> 00:58:21.713
Such soft, warm hands!
502
00:58:27.201 --> 00:58:31.558
- Won't you be happy when you get girls here?
- I don't know.
503
00:58:31.681 --> 00:58:35.913
You can have all the girls you want.
What's your name?
504
00:58:36.810 --> 00:58:38.293
- Søren.
- Søren?
505
00:58:39.810 --> 00:58:42.437
You're really a naughty boy, Søren.
506
00:58:49.100 --> 00:58:54.155
- I know what you're after.
- I wasn't after anything!
507
00:58:54.521 --> 00:58:56.955
The same thing all men want!
508
00:58:57.481 --> 00:59:01.315
- Be gentle... you're so experienced!
- Someone might come in!
509
00:59:01.441 --> 00:59:05.275
Then be quick!
Take me, big boy!
510
00:59:05.401 --> 00:59:07.756
- The riding lesson is at 10:00.
- Ride me, ride me!
511
00:59:07.881 --> 00:59:11.430
No, not my underwear.It was never in the ad!
512
00:59:11.561 --> 00:59:16.937
Four minutes and he's already
been sacrificed on the altar of science.
513
00:59:20.521 --> 00:59:23.319
You're sitting on my pee stick!
514
00:59:41.121 --> 00:59:44.431
Do you have to finish
that stupid letter right now?
515
00:59:44.601 --> 00:59:49.277
Yes, you're right.
You're absolutely right!
516
00:59:50.761 --> 00:59:52.240
Yes!
517
00:59:56.410 --> 00:59:59.351
I have to go and talk to the Minister.
518
01:00:00.410 --> 01:00:03.920
Man to man, eye to eye ...
519
01:00:27.201 --> 01:00:30.910
Men can be very strange.
520
01:00:31.361 --> 01:00:37.231
Yes, very strange, indeed.
But perhaps they are necessary?
521
01:00:37.401 --> 01:00:42.998
- At certain times, of course.
- Right. At certain times.
522
01:00:43.201 --> 01:00:46.273
It doesn't really matter which one you choose.
523
01:00:46.401 --> 01:00:50.440
Most believe they're dynamite.
524
01:00:50.761 --> 01:00:54.276
Yes, with their little package...
525
01:00:56.841 --> 01:01:00.151
While women lack for nothing...
526
01:01:00.281 --> 01:01:04.513
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, sir...
527
01:01:12.721 --> 01:01:14.313
- Fabian?
- Yes?
528
01:01:16.881 --> 01:01:21.632
Would you like to ...
see my stamp collection?
529
01:01:23.881 --> 01:01:26.520
I'd love to!
530
01:01:53.921 --> 01:01:58.790
Please, Fabian, can't you stop this?
It isn't that I ...
531
01:01:58.921 --> 01:02:03.730
Why should I?
You're beautiful, Line.
532
01:02:03.201 --> 01:02:08.594
You know, I'm probably what's
called a "neglected wife."
533
01:02:08.761 --> 01:02:12.834
Neglected wives are my specialty.
534
01:02:15.681 --> 01:02:20.880
- No! Not in my own bed!
- That's what it's here for!
535
01:02:21.100 --> 01:02:24.380
I saw your husband leave.
When will he be back?
536
01:02:26.121 --> 01:02:29.330
Now, I think...
Yes, now!
537
01:02:29.201 --> 01:02:33.797
You stand there and look for him,
while Uncle Fabian does his thing...
538
01:02:34.321 --> 01:02:37.119
Fabian! You pig!
539
01:04:04.961 --> 01:04:11.594
What is culture? And what is our
cultural policy, some might ask.
540
01:04:12.410 --> 01:04:16.159
- I owe you the answer to that.
- That's right!
541
01:04:19.881 --> 01:04:24.318
The honorable Member knows very
well what our cultural policy stands for.
542
01:04:24.441 --> 01:04:27.956
We aren't here to debate culture.
543
01:04:29.100 --> 01:04:34.678
We, for our part, are of the opinion
that the most noble cultural works ...
544
01:04:34.801 --> 01:04:40.114
... come to us from the people.
They come down from the common people.
545
01:04:40.241 --> 01:04:45.315
The wanderer Storm Petersen once
quipped ... if Mr. President will allow ...
546
01:04:45.441 --> 01:04:52.950
"Androcles, what is culture?" You'd get this
answer: "Something to polish the furniture with."
547
01:04:56.521 --> 01:05:02.790
Not least is the culture where a young
headmaster and his dedicated students make ...
548
01:05:02.921 --> 01:05:08.234
... a selfless effort to create a co-educational
school, striking a blow for women's education!
549
01:05:08.401 --> 01:05:09.959
I agree!
550
01:05:11.410 --> 01:05:15.114
This is the kind...
The kind of impact ...
551
01:05:15.241 --> 01:05:19.320
... that we, for our part,
would like to support.
552
01:05:31.921 --> 01:05:34.435
What do you think?
553
01:05:35.161 --> 01:05:37.834
I definitely...
554
01:05:38.100 --> 01:05:42.836
- "Father Playing the Violin"
- And I definitely think ...
555
01:05:43.161 --> 01:05:45.914
... I don't like it. Sorry.
556
01:05:46.721 --> 01:05:49.519
- 50,000!
- 50,000?
557
01:05:49.721 --> 01:05:51.791
Per piece.
558
01:05:52.201 --> 01:05:56.752
- I could build two girls' classrooms with that!
- Now, have a little patience... Max.
559
01:05:56.881 --> 01:06:02.160
You have my support, my moral
support, for your girls' program.
560
01:06:05.321 --> 01:06:08.711
"Something to polish furniture with..."
Did you hear that?
561
01:06:08.841 --> 01:06:12.516
He compared culture to furniture polish!
562
01:06:12.641 --> 01:06:15.314
- Did you understood it?
- Yes...
563
01:06:17.521 --> 01:06:23.756
- When do you think the case will be decided?
- It requires preparation. Like everything.
564
01:06:25.681 --> 01:06:30.709
- And how's my wife been doing?
- Yes... Mrs. Bostedt has been very well.
565
01:06:30.841 --> 01:06:34.445
- I think she's really enjoyed herself.
- Turn the key.
566
01:06:34.545 --> 01:06:36.978
- The key?
- There, lock the door!
567
01:06:35.161 --> 01:06:37.720
568
01:06:45.201 --> 01:06:51.710
Sometimes one needs to relax.
Culture can be exhausting.
569
01:07:03.641 --> 01:07:06.314
You can easily become
stressed out by new things.
570
01:07:06.441 --> 01:07:12.391
Isn't that true, Max?
How's your wife doing at my old school?
571
01:07:12.561 --> 01:07:16.520
Excellent, thank you.
Within reason ...
572
01:07:20.521 --> 01:07:23.274
- Yes?
- Minister, your car is ready.
573
01:07:23.401 --> 01:07:28.310
- Where am I going now?
- A sculpture unveiling, at People's Place.
574
01:07:28.561 --> 01:07:32.873
Now I remember it! Thanks.
It's like this every single day.
575
01:07:33.100 --> 01:07:37.517
Well, duty calls.
Come along, Max, we'll have lunch ...
576
01:07:37.641 --> 01:07:42.157
... and discuss your problem.
- Gladly, if I won't be a nuisance.
577
01:07:45.241 --> 01:07:51.770
The sculptor is talented. He gets government
grants. We've provided for all his wives, ...
578
01:07:51.201 --> 01:07:55.717
... and his many offspring for years and years.
What a talent!
579
01:07:56.241 --> 01:08:00.632
Modern art, especially sculpture, ...
580
01:08:00.761 --> 01:08:05.755
... is an answer that speaks for itself.
581
01:08:06.201 --> 01:08:11.912
The exquisite, sublime artwork.
It speaks to us ...
582
01:08:12.810 --> 01:08:17.553
... even before it is born, while it is
still concealed within its mother's womb.
583
01:08:18.810 --> 01:08:25.112
She still a virgin.
It is unconcerned, yet it... speaks to us.
584
01:08:25.281 --> 01:08:30.196
The artist's task today is to remain silent
and eliminate the sublimation of works of art!
585
01:08:30.321 --> 01:08:35.793
People must not impose on others' perceptions.
They must judge it for themselves ...
586
01:08:35.961 --> 01:08:40.432
Yes, exactly.
And with those few well-chosen words ...
587
01:08:40.561 --> 01:08:44.474
... I have the pleasure to unveil the
sculpture which the artist has entitled:
588
01:08:44.601 --> 01:08:46.478
... "Kiss my..."?
589
01:08:50.810 --> 01:08:52.197
"Kiss my..."!
590
01:09:09.361 --> 01:09:13.434
- Mama, there's nothing there.
- Be quiet! Just applaud!
591
01:09:18.481 --> 01:09:25.512
I'm often a grass widower.
In my position there's no time for a wife.
592
01:09:26.441 --> 01:09:31.370
I can't blame her
if she's a little restless.
593
01:09:31.161 --> 01:09:36.793
- You can't understand such things at your age.
- Yes, I certainly can, Mr. Bostedt.
594
01:09:38.641 --> 01:09:40.393
Unfortunately...
595
01:09:40.521 --> 01:09:45.436
You can? Yes, you can.
That's encouraging.
596
01:09:45.801 --> 01:09:51.956
It is unfortunate that you can.
However, Max ...
597
01:09:52.721 --> 01:09:58.398
... I know a place where I'm not known.
There is a solution to your problem.
598
01:09:58.521 --> 01:10:00.910
You need some preparation!
599
01:10:19.401 --> 01:10:24.973
What about this kind of preparation, Max?
Does it provide a little stimulation?
600
01:10:25.410 --> 01:10:28.716
- Stimulation?
- Yes, some new inspiration.
601
01:10:30.361 --> 01:10:32.750
External stimulation.
602
01:10:39.161 --> 01:10:44.315
- No, I'd rather eat at home.
- What? Yes... of course.
603
01:10:44.441 --> 01:10:48.719
But, you can still
get an appetite by looking.
604
01:10:48.841 --> 01:10:51.275
Hello, Minister!
605
01:10:51.881 --> 01:10:58.275
- Call me "Holgersen." I'm incognito.
- Looking for a little culture tonight?
606
01:11:32.361 --> 01:11:35.398
I'm afraid I like girls.
607
01:11:37.410 --> 01:11:40.238
But you can buy me a beer.
608
01:11:40.441 --> 01:11:43.194
I never thought Max was like that!
609
01:12:20.810 --> 01:12:21.639
Line ...
610
01:12:22.810 --> 01:12:24.370
Are you asleep?
611
01:12:38.801 --> 01:12:41.554
What are you doing with that?
612
01:12:41.681 --> 01:12:47.339
What were you doing with it?
Why were you sleeping with this in your hand?
613
01:12:47.841 --> 01:12:51.311
Where have you been?
It's already light outside.
614
01:12:52.481 --> 01:12:56.997
In Copenhagen, we went out to eat, ...
615
01:12:57.161 --> 01:13:02.410
... the Minister and I.
I couldn't get away from him.
616
01:13:05.241 --> 01:13:08.199
I think he's very lonely.
617
01:13:09.721 --> 01:13:12.879
Then what do you think I am?
618
01:13:20.721 --> 01:13:25.920
- Stolen?
- Not sold. We could have got 3,000 for it.
619
01:13:26.161 --> 01:13:30.393
- The matter must be cleared up.
- What's happened?
620
01:13:30.521 --> 01:13:36.198
- The chastity belt is gone... stolen.
- Logic says it must have been a woman.
621
01:13:36.321 --> 01:13:40.599
- At least it wasn't me.
- No, that's out of the question. I know.
622
01:13:40.721 --> 01:13:44.310
Hugo, I brought you a little
breakfast and some eggs.
623
01:13:44.601 --> 01:13:49.516
I will personally get to
the bottom of this! Thank you, ...
624
01:13:50.761 --> 01:13:52.240
... my sweet girl.
625
01:14:30.641 --> 01:14:33.599
Is that you, little brother?
626
01:14:33.721 --> 01:14:39.637
- Why were you chasing the peacock?
- I was... looking for some eggs.
627
01:14:40.281 --> 01:14:47.730
- What are you looking for?
- A little key that I... I dropped.
628
01:14:47.681 --> 01:14:54.750
- Inside the bushes here?
- Eggs, you said. What are you doing with eggs?
629
01:14:54.201 --> 01:14:56.795
They're for an invention.
630
01:14:57.721 --> 01:15:02.330
- What are you working on now?
- Can you keep a secret?
631
01:15:11.961 --> 01:15:17.593
- Do you think they use sea salt here?
- Salt as salt, just use a little more!
632
01:15:17.801 --> 01:15:23.990
... awaiting full payment from you
within three days. Yours sincerely...
633
01:15:25.601 --> 01:15:30.231
And to Basse & Ralf,
in response to your offer of ...
634
01:15:30.361 --> 01:15:33.797
- I'm hungry.
- Yes, it's good that you remind me.
635
01:15:33.921 --> 01:15:35.952
Mama's coming.
636
01:15:36.161 --> 01:15:40.359
Your mama?
On our honeymoon!
637
01:15:40.601 --> 01:15:44.111
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to call her!
638
01:15:46.681 --> 01:15:53.439
Everything tastes different here in the country.
I think my eggs were fertilized!
639
01:15:53.761 --> 01:15:58.994
- But they become extremely horny from it!
- How can you say no to your sister?
640
01:15:59.121 --> 01:16:03.399
I'm sorry, Mrs. Headmaster!
I'll be happy to give Max a little salty food.
641
01:16:03.561 --> 01:16:04.789
Thanks.
642
01:16:06.641 --> 01:16:12.238
- What was that noise?
- Oh, these old benches crack like that.
643
01:16:12.521 --> 01:16:16.400
You should see the reports I've written
about how the powder appears to work.
644
01:16:16.561 --> 01:16:22.790
It is absolutely amazing!
I could write a dissertation on it.
645
01:16:30.801 --> 01:16:33.759
Your mother will not be coming!
646
01:16:33.895 --> 01:16:38.755
- Oh yeah? That's wonderful.
- What do you mean?
647
01:16:34.921 --> 01:16:38.755
648
01:16:39.961 --> 01:16:43.351
Hans... my man Hans...
649
01:16:56.921 --> 01:17:00.152
Don't use so much salt, Max,
You're getting too much salt.
650
01:17:00.281 --> 01:17:04.320
Too much salt?
I'm using no more salt than usual.
651
01:17:04.441 --> 01:17:09.231
You won't do well using
that much salt. Not right now.
652
01:17:10.761 --> 01:17:15.551
1,500 for this fine thing?
That's far too little!
653
01:17:15.681 --> 01:17:20.596
You should ask 2,000 for this.
Then you'll make a little more money.
654
01:17:21.121 --> 01:17:25.831
I'll hang it over the bed
in remembrance of you.
655
01:17:25.961 --> 01:17:30.154
Have you nothing else you want to sell?
656
01:18:12.410 --> 01:18:16.353
Was that you, dear Professor Holst?
Did you want something?
657
01:18:16.481 --> 01:18:19.553
Sorry, I was just out with the Scouts.
658
01:18:19.681 --> 01:18:23.276
Professor Holst, there's a
problem in the ironing shed.
659
01:18:23.401 --> 01:18:26.598
Ironing, of course.
Excuse me... Good morning,
660
01:18:46.961 --> 01:18:48.360
Max!
661
01:18:49.681 --> 01:18:52.673
Good morning, Mrs. Bostedt.
662
01:18:53.121 --> 01:18:59.276
I'm so glad that you came.
Can you please help me get it up there?
663
01:19:01.721 --> 01:19:06.590
It's just too big.
I can't handle it by myself.
664
01:19:07.561 --> 01:19:10.750
Oh, the cannon!
665
01:19:10.281 --> 01:19:16.311
- I just bought it. Do you have time?
- Of course I have time.
666
01:19:30.641 --> 01:19:37.314
- Are you sure it won't be too much for you?
- No, not if it doesn't bother you.
667
01:19:46.241 --> 01:19:48.630
What the hell?
668
01:20:15.641 --> 01:20:19.395
- Why, Mrs. Bostedt!
- Oh, Max... do you remember?
669
01:20:19.521 --> 01:20:23.958
- Yes... No! I was going to visit...
- Yes, kiss me!
670
01:20:24.281 --> 01:20:26.670
No, Mrs. Bostedt, we can't...
671
01:20:27.441 --> 01:20:32.196
I know what I'm doing.
Do it, Max! Do it!
672
01:20:34.721 --> 01:20:37.793
Can I join in?
673
01:20:57.481 --> 01:21:01.300
- What are you doing?!
- Help me! Help me! Save me!
674
01:21:01.161 --> 01:21:04.198
We were doing so well.
675
01:21:04.321 --> 01:21:08.314
- What are you doing here?
- Stop it, we were just having fun.
676
01:21:09.641 --> 01:21:12.872
I'll take care of you...
677
01:21:13.410 --> 01:21:18.690
I'll tell you one thing. You shouldn't
start something you can't finish.
678
01:21:18.201 --> 01:21:23.275
I'll take enough care of Mrs. Bostedt.
She and I are old acquaintances.
679
01:21:25.761 --> 01:21:28.116
Have a nice day!
680
01:21:30.107 --> 01:21:32.474
- Good day.
- Good day.
681
01:21:36.481 --> 01:21:41.282
- Oh, Fabian, you're too horrible!
- Oh, yeah? I'm just the way you like me.
682
01:21:41.382 --> 01:21:42.791
Come here, Fabian!
683
01:22:23.401 --> 01:22:27.300
Hello?
Is my husband there?
684
01:22:27.241 --> 01:22:31.519
The Headmaster?
He just went upstairs with Mrs. Bostedt.
685
01:22:36.641 --> 01:22:39.235
Yes, it was some time ago.
686
01:22:46.481 --> 01:22:51.396
Headmaster Mikkelsen, a telegram.
And your wife just called.
687
01:22:52.201 --> 01:22:55.273
What do you think, Torben?
688
01:22:55.401 --> 01:22:58.359
We have to face the facts.
We won't make it.
689
01:22:58.481 --> 01:23:03.999
If only it wasn't back to school tomorrow.
One more week and we might have made it.
690
01:23:09.601 --> 01:23:11.956
Is there something wrong?
691
01:23:39.207 --> 01:23:42.321
Yes!!
692
01:23:56.100 --> 01:23:58.561
- How much? 50,000?
- Yes!
693
01:23:58.681 --> 01:24:01.320
- Kronor?
- Yes!
694
01:24:02.481 --> 01:24:05.632
Hurrah! The girls are coming into port!
695
01:24:06.681 --> 01:24:11.709
And it was our old Culture Minister
Bostedt who arranged it!
696
01:24:11.841 --> 01:24:15.151
Long live the Culture Minister!
697
01:24:22.641 --> 01:24:24.199
Line!
698
01:24:27.721 --> 01:24:31.634
We've got a 50,000 contribution!
It's fantastic!
699
01:24:31.761 --> 01:24:34.116
Congratulations, Max.
700
01:24:34.801 --> 01:24:38.999
Can you forgive me?
I thought you were up there.
701
01:24:39.121 --> 01:24:44.320
It's me, darling! It really is!
Come, let's go up and celebrate.
702
01:24:44.441 --> 01:24:50.730
- Yes... No. I can't right now.
- But I'm not stressed anymore!
703
01:24:50.201 --> 01:24:53.796
- Not at all!
- But I might be...
704
01:24:54.241 --> 01:24:59.156
I can do it, Sweetheart.
I'm sure that I can do it now.
705
01:24:59.441 --> 01:25:01.955
Yes, but I can't.
706
01:25:27.561 --> 01:25:30.394
It's the last one.
You first...
707
01:25:57.201 --> 01:26:04.239
- Didn't you promise to give him a higher post?
- He can't get much higher.
708
01:26:20.321 --> 01:26:21.993
Silence!
709
01:26:23.801 --> 01:26:26.838
Krab... Krab... Krabbesø!
710
01:26:27.641 --> 01:26:30.474
Rektor Primus!
711
01:26:31.401 --> 01:26:33.135
Non plus ult...
712
01:26:34.370 --> 01:26:35.310
... ultra!
713
01:27:23.100 --> 01:27:27.472
New times have come to an old school.
714
01:27:27.601 --> 01:27:31.310
We gather here to usher in a new term.
715
01:27:31.481 --> 01:27:35.952
The first term in the history of the
old Krabbesögård scholars' school ...
716
01:27:36.810 --> 01:27:41.439
... in which boys and girls go
hand-in-hand, absorbing their lessons ...
717
01:27:41.561 --> 01:27:45.440
... and culture in the fullness ...
718
01:27:45.601 --> 01:27:49.116
... of their equality and intellect.
719
01:27:51.881 --> 01:27:54.873
This day is first and foremost a triumph ...
720
01:27:55.100 --> 01:27:57.879
... for our dear young Headmaster, ...
721
01:27:58.481 --> 01:28:01.712
... who, despite opposition, stood firm, ...
722
01:28:01.841 --> 01:28:06.390
... and stuck something between...
between her legs ...
723
01:28:07.161 --> 01:28:11.120
... who didn't turn tail when he might have.
724
01:28:13.241 --> 01:28:20.635
Modesty forbids the Headmaster and his
wife from receiving the tribute they deserve.
725
01:28:21.410 --> 01:28:24.636
We that remain, pledge ...
726
01:28:24.761 --> 01:28:31.750
... together with me, to
protect our girls... our women.
727
01:28:40.810 --> 01:28:43.118
Man wasn't created to be alone, ...
728
01:28:43.241 --> 01:28:45.960
... as it says in the old scripture.
729
01:28:46.810 --> 01:28:51.500
And that is no less true for women.
730
01:28:52.321 --> 01:28:55.836
A school without girls is
like a mop without a bucket, ...
731
01:28:55.961 --> 01:28:59.330
... as it is written ... somewhere.
732
01:28:59.201 --> 01:29:02.289
This old school for boys
comes to its inevitable end, ...
733
01:29:02.389 --> 01:29:05.893
.... proud of it's successful history.
734
01:29:23.201 --> 01:29:26.273
We can't live without girls ...
735
01:29:29.961 --> 01:29:32.634
... if we're to enjoy all aspects of life, ...
736
01:29:36.561 --> 01:29:38.995
... not just the cultural ones.
737
01:29:39.401 --> 01:29:41.232
1 minute, 24 seconds.
738
01:29:43.410 --> 01:29:46.636
We profess to be a group, ...
739
01:29:46.761 --> 01:29:50.710
... a community of every sexes, ...
740
01:29:51.100 --> 01:29:54.676
... with a communal pulpet,
a bed under our own tables.
741
01:30:08.561 --> 01:30:10.995
Hurry up...!
742
01:30:14.481 --> 01:30:20.192
I appeal to the gentlemen, to your
common sense, and to the ladies, ...
743
01:30:20.641 --> 01:30:22.677
... to the ladies, then!
744
01:30:30.681 --> 01:30:34.959
You're getting spanked!
Spanked by your daddy.
745
01:30:36.561 --> 01:30:41.589
The ancient poets rode their muses,
like Pegasi into a battle to unite the sexes, ...
746
01:30:41.721 --> 01:30:46.220
... in sickness and in health, in
sexual intercourse, in mutual accord!
747
01:30:52.721 --> 01:30:55.990
Never forgetting
wine, women and song!
748
01:30:58.241 --> 01:31:03.679
It's time to tear down the inequality in
our midst, and wake up with one another!
749
01:31:13.961 --> 01:31:17.780
But now...
But now, then... !
750
01:31:35.281 --> 01:31:37.670
Sodom and Gomorrah!
64393
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