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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07.401 --> 00:00:13.271 - HEADMASTER AT THE BEDSIDE - 2 00:01:20.961 --> 00:01:25.876 Good morning! Rise and shine, Brush your teeth, make the bed. 3 00:01:32.401 --> 00:01:36.235 Good morning! Brush your teeth, make the bed. 4 00:01:44.100 --> 00:01:49.997 - Good morning! Brush... - Brush your teeth, make the bed! 5 00:02:27.481 --> 00:02:29.358 Good morn... 6 00:02:50.321 --> 00:02:52.551 I can't! 7 00:02:53.481 --> 00:02:55.730 Come on... 8 00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:08.561 It doesn't want to. 9 00:03:32.361 --> 00:03:34.875 Ebba calling Olga... 10 00:03:50.721 --> 00:03:53.554 You're late, Max, They're here. 11 00:03:53.681 --> 00:03:57.435 What? It's only half past eight. 12 00:03:57.601 --> 00:04:03.119 - It will stand up eventually. It always has. - Yes, it will stand... 13 00:04:03.481 --> 00:04:08.919 Stop it, Max, it's not unusual. It happens to everyone. 14 00:04:09.410 --> 00:04:14.638 It's good that this doesn't happen often with your little tuppendix. 15 00:04:14.761 --> 00:04:16.558 You mean "appendix"? 16 00:04:16.681 --> 00:04:20.754 Not tuppendix, but appendix. It's Latin, meaning "appendage". 17 00:04:20.881 --> 00:04:26.478 Yes, you told me, it contains neither muscles nor bones, and yet ... 18 00:04:27.121 --> 00:04:31.831 ... yet, it's just that. An... appendage! 19 00:04:32.281 --> 00:04:38.151 Is it because of troubles at school? Why are you so nervous about this meeting? 20 00:04:38.281 --> 00:04:41.751 My father's the Chairman of the Board, so he won't go against you, 21 00:04:54.201 --> 00:04:58.991 Olga calling Bertha! The big honcho is heading towards the Headmaster's office. 22 00:05:00.100 --> 00:05:02.710 They're here now! 23 00:05:03.561 --> 00:05:08.555 - It gets worse and worse. - What were you doing at that age, Hansen? 24 00:05:08.681 --> 00:05:12.356 You oiled the blackboard so the schoolmaster couldn't write on it. 25 00:05:12.561 --> 00:05:15.280 - No, I don't remember that! - No, no... I don't remember... 26 00:05:18.681 --> 00:05:23.675 - Good morning, Professor. - Good morning, Mr. Chairman. 27 00:05:27.921 --> 00:05:32.870 Sorry, it's time for English class. "One, two, three. I can hop, I can run ... " 28 00:05:34.321 --> 00:05:37.313 Please sit down, boys... 29 00:05:47.681 --> 00:05:49.194 Max... 30 00:05:50.810 --> 00:05:53.630 Is something on your mind? 31 00:05:54.410 --> 00:05:58.751 I think there's something wrong ... Something wrong with me. 32 00:05:58.921 --> 00:06:03.676 Not at all, Max. Deal with them quickly and leave. 33 00:06:04.100 --> 00:06:05.753 Do you ... 34 00:06:06.521 --> 00:06:10.992 - Do you think I should seek medical attention? - No. 35 00:06:11.401 --> 00:06:17.192 You have no classes after the meeting. Come back here, and we'll have some coffee. 36 00:06:25.641 --> 00:06:29.190 - It's locked. - The time to the half minute. 37 00:06:29.321 --> 00:06:33.951 It's nine o'clock. When my watch says it's nine, then it's nine. 38 00:06:34.810 --> 00:06:37.198 - Punctuality is a virtue in school! - Where is that man? 39 00:06:37.361 --> 00:06:40.990 I don't know, he isn't my son in law! 40 00:06:41.121 --> 00:06:43.320 Kiss my ass, Hansen! 41 00:06:48.161 --> 00:06:49.753 STAY OFF Waxed Floor 42 00:06:56.841 --> 00:07:03.189 I recall that my great-grandfather stuck a a pitchfork in your great-grandfather's belly! 43 00:07:03.321 --> 00:07:06.677 And he hanged your great- grandfather for being a murderer! 44 00:07:06.801 --> 00:07:09.190 He enjoyed killing your family! 45 00:07:15.561 --> 00:07:18.758 Right on time, by your watch! 46 00:07:19.881 --> 00:07:24.318 Calling Bertha... I'm in position outside the window. I repeat... 47 00:07:24.441 --> 00:07:27.114 ... I'm in position. 48 00:07:27.521 --> 00:07:30.877 - Krab! Krab! Krabbesö! - Hey! Hey! Hey! 49 00:07:31.100 --> 00:07:32.878 Non plus ultra ... 50 00:07:33.100 --> 00:07:36.835 They're singing at the table. Mikkelmax is being given the floor. 51 00:07:36.961 --> 00:07:40.158 He looks sick today. Standby... 52 00:07:40.361 --> 00:07:44.593 It will cost about 100,000 kronor. That's nothing these days. 53 00:07:44.721 --> 00:07:51.399 If construction starts soon, it will be ready for the new term. 54 00:07:55.801 --> 00:08:01.671 I must say that the school board is not enthusiastic about the the Headmaster's plan. 55 00:08:01.801 --> 00:08:07.433 It is rash. Bringing girls into Krabbesögård will cause a great upheaval. 56 00:08:07.681 --> 00:08:11.515 Don't misunderstand me. I have nothing against girls in and of themselves. 57 00:08:11.641 --> 00:08:16.112 - We were all young once. - Yes, but it was different then! 58 00:08:16.241 --> 00:08:19.995 - We were younger then! - We respected traditions. 59 00:08:20.121 --> 00:08:23.477 Why should we have girls here? 60 00:08:23.681 --> 00:08:29.153 Our scholars school has fared well without girls for over 100 years. 61 00:08:29.281 --> 00:08:33.115 Our students have other things to think about! 62 00:08:36.881 --> 00:08:40.590 They're as nice as Jytte's, and at least as large. 63 00:08:40.721 --> 00:08:46.790 Imagine caressing her goodies for a few hours. I'd be happy to! 64 00:08:46.361 --> 00:08:49.194 She's almost too good for Mikkelmax. 65 00:08:50.681 --> 00:08:53.149 Olga here. Come in. 66 00:08:55.361 --> 00:08:58.876 - We're getting girls at the school! - Girls? 67 00:08:59.100 --> 00:09:02.198 - Yes, I repeat: Girls! - Girls? 68 00:09:03.201 --> 00:09:05.780 That Mikkelmax is okay! 69 00:09:05.761 --> 00:09:09.879 When the Board appointed me as the school's youngest Headmaster ever I thought ... 70 00:09:10.100 --> 00:09:15.553 ... you wanted a vibrant, modern school. If so, there's only one way forward. 71 00:09:15.681 --> 00:09:17.194 Girls. 72 00:09:17.481 --> 00:09:21.872 A boys' school is an relic that belongs in a museum. 73 00:09:22.100 --> 00:09:26.358 - Show some respect the school's traditions! - Kiss my... 74 00:09:26.521 --> 00:09:31.390 ... traditions! They're good only as long as they are... well... 75 00:09:31.561 --> 00:09:34.712 Gentlemen, you are hopelessly old-fashioned! 76 00:09:34.841 --> 00:09:38.629 Max, be sensible now. Let's talk about something else, ... 77 00:09:38.761 --> 00:09:42.674 ... like the money. The school doesn't have 50,000, much less 100,000. 78 00:09:42.801 --> 00:09:49.240 - He must think money grows on trees! - Not with today's credit crunch. 79 00:09:49.361 --> 00:09:54.355 You can find a new Headmaster unless I get classrooms for girls ... now! 80 00:09:54.521 --> 00:09:58.150 - Sodom and Gomorrah... - It's the worst thing that could... 81 00:09:58.281 --> 00:09:59.873 One at a time! 82 00:10:00.100 --> 00:10:02.710 Who wants the floor? Who wishes to speak? 83 00:10:02.241 --> 00:10:04.471 No, there's nothing more to discuss. 84 00:10:06.841 --> 00:10:08.991 The meeting is adjourned. 85 00:10:24.401 --> 00:10:27.400 Is the meeting over already? 86 00:10:29.601 --> 00:10:32.957 Wonderful! I missed you. 87 00:10:35.401 --> 00:10:40.350 It's going nowhere with those old fogies. 88 00:10:40.561 --> 00:10:44.315 - My father, for example? - No, he's neither for it nor against it. 89 00:10:44.441 --> 00:10:48.832 - Aren't you simply being stubborn? - No! 90 00:10:49.761 --> 00:10:56.314 - Then how do you feel? - As if I want to do violence to someone! 91 00:10:57.361 --> 00:11:00.717 - Would it accomplish anything? - Yes, it would make me feel better! 92 00:11:03.100 --> 00:11:05.834 Then beat me, darling. 93 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.834 But, Line! No, Line... 94 00:11:11.561 --> 00:11:14.314 Go ahead, if it will help... 95 00:11:14.521 --> 00:11:18.150 No way, darling. 96 00:11:20.441 --> 00:11:22.830 Then I have another idea. Come... 97 00:11:28.681 --> 00:11:31.479 Off with the jacket... 98 00:11:31.841 --> 00:11:37.740 - I can get the 100,000 myself! - ... then your buttons. 99 00:11:39.641 --> 00:11:42.997 Shall we have coffee first? 100 00:11:44.121 --> 00:11:46.874 - First? - Did I sit too hard on you? 101 00:11:47.100 --> 00:11:49.799 No, not yet. 102 00:11:51.281 --> 00:11:52.919 - Are you in? - Yes! 103 00:11:56.881 --> 00:11:59.679 - Is something wrong? - No, only... 104 00:11:59.801 --> 00:12:01.678 Hello... hello... hello! 105 00:12:02.521 --> 00:12:05.194 - Don't worry about her. - Don't be so stubborn, Max. 106 00:12:05.321 --> 00:12:07.357 - I'm not being stubborn. - Yes! -No! 107 00:12:07.481 --> 00:12:12.839 - No, only when you don't get your way. - Can I borrow 100,000 from you? 108 00:12:12.961 --> 00:12:17.751 - Not from me. I'm just a farmer. - Line, your father is here! 109 00:12:17.881 --> 00:12:20.600 I'm leaving. But I calmed them down. 110 00:12:20.761 --> 00:12:25.551 You shouldn't scold the old fogies. They agreed to let you to raise the 100,000. 111 00:12:25.721 --> 00:12:28.189 - How about a little coffee? - No, thanks. 112 00:12:29.121 --> 00:12:33.255 It's said that too much coffee kills one's sex drive. 113 00:12:36.241 --> 00:12:43.272 - You only think about school! - I'd like to, Line, if I just could... 114 00:12:44.841 --> 00:12:49.471 - Do you want some coffee? - No, too much coffee kills... 115 00:12:50.441 --> 00:12:53.638 Can we go for a walk, instead? 116 00:12:53.841 --> 00:12:59.837 We can try... Do you remember the tree stump in the enchanted forest, the one with the moss? 117 00:13:00.100 --> 00:13:02.356 We didn't have any problem there. 118 00:13:19.721 --> 00:13:27.570 - No, I can't... - The old oak is still standing over there. 119 00:13:58.601 --> 00:14:02.640 After all the trouble climbing up here... 120 00:14:11.281 --> 00:14:15.194 No, Line! The cold water, you know... 121 00:14:15.321 --> 00:14:18.119 Come on, Max, We can try anyway! 122 00:14:18.321 --> 00:14:22.394 - No, Line... - What is this all about? 123 00:14:23.321 --> 00:14:24.834 I... 124 00:14:27.201 --> 00:14:28.953 Dr. Petersen... 125 00:14:30.961 --> 00:14:32.997 What? 126 00:14:33.201 --> 00:14:35.431 Without my underwear? 127 00:14:36.161 --> 00:14:40.740 Is that really necessary, Dr. Petersen? 128 00:14:40.601 --> 00:14:46.517 I'm not going to rape you, Mikkelsen. I only have so much time, and ... 129 00:14:46.641 --> 00:14:48.438 ... it will amuse me. 130 00:14:54.241 --> 00:14:56.801 - Is there something wrong? - Yes. 131 00:14:56.921 --> 00:15:00.152 Is there anyone who can help? 132 00:15:01.201 --> 00:15:04.477 Yes... a watchmaker! 133 00:15:11.361 --> 00:15:15.912 - Is this the member in question? - Yes. 134 00:15:18.921 --> 00:15:21.799 It looks okay. 135 00:15:22.761 --> 00:15:26.959 How long has it been since it was functioning? 136 00:15:28.441 --> 00:15:30.875 A week or so... 137 00:15:33.410 --> 00:15:35.760 Well, little things have their uses, too. 138 00:15:35.881 --> 00:15:39.840 You can get dressed now. I've seen enough. 139 00:15:50.281 --> 00:15:55.639 Nothing wrong with the equipment. It's probably just nerves. 140 00:15:55.761 --> 00:16:00.903 There's nothing wrong with my nervous system. That's fine in every respect. 141 00:16:01.530 --> 00:16:06.498 Oh yeah? Are you forgetting that little business about it not that working so well? 142 00:16:02.241 --> 00:16:06.598 143 00:16:06.721 --> 00:16:10.770 - Or rather, not all. - Yes. 144 00:16:10.841 --> 00:16:14.675 When did you last see your wife naked? 145 00:16:15.521 --> 00:16:20.800 - What does that have to do with it? - Headmaster Mikkelsen ... 146 00:16:22.121 --> 00:16:27.718 ... which do you think is more erotically arousing: a stark naked woman, ... 147 00:16:27.841 --> 00:16:31.436 ... or one who is clothed? 148 00:16:34.601 --> 00:16:38.480 - Don't get personal, now ... - I don't know. 149 00:16:39.561 --> 00:16:43.713 Then I'd like to show you something interesting. 150 00:16:57.641 --> 00:17:00.917 - You've probably seen striptease before? - Yes. 151 00:17:01.410 --> 00:17:03.760 This is a little different. 152 00:18:52.161 --> 00:18:55.756 - Now you see why I asked? - Yes. 153 00:19:05.761 --> 00:19:11.119 - Aren't you going to dance, Erik? - I'm excused from physical exercise - my leg. 154 00:19:15.810 --> 00:19:21.156 - Excused? Your sister's the Headmaster's wife! - I don't hold discussions at that level. 155 00:19:21.281 --> 00:19:27.754 - When we have girls here, you'll be healthy! - If we get them! They're expensive - 100,000! 156 00:19:27.881 --> 00:19:32.909 For 100 years the Mazurka has been a tradition here. It's a beautiful dance, ... 157 00:19:33.410 --> 00:19:36.636 ... a chivalric dance, a tribute to women. 158 00:19:42.241 --> 00:19:47.793 Mazurka... they need to learn how to raise 100,000 in a hurry. 159 00:19:52.721 --> 00:19:56.430 Barneweller! The record player! 160 00:20:02.521 --> 00:20:05.274 I just noticed... it needed winding. 161 00:20:19.721 --> 00:20:22.281 Yes, come in! 162 00:20:31.601 --> 00:20:34.240 The Headmaster asked me to stop by ... 163 00:20:34.361 --> 00:20:39.754 He's not at home. He just wanted you to take his... 164 00:20:40.281 --> 00:20:42.351 Take his... 165 00:20:42.961 --> 00:20:46.330 ... his botany class tomorrow. 166 00:20:46.401 --> 00:20:49.438 His... in 2B, yes! 167 00:20:49.561 --> 00:20:53.679 - I'm home! - It's just me, Headmaster. I... 168 00:20:53.801 --> 00:20:56.520 Your wife asked me to take your ... 169 00:20:56.681 --> 00:20:59.718 ... your wife ... lying in bed ... 170 00:21:01.401 --> 00:21:03.198 ... as you can see. 171 00:21:05.361 --> 00:21:08.194 2B... tomorrow. 172 00:21:09.681 --> 00:21:11.558 Botany. 173 00:21:12.561 --> 00:21:14.950 You're back already? 174 00:21:15.121 --> 00:21:17.351 What did the doctor say? 175 00:21:17.481 --> 00:21:20.439 That you're to get dressed. 176 00:21:23.161 --> 00:21:24.310 What? 177 00:21:27.201 --> 00:21:30.671 - It goes like that. - That's right! 178 00:21:30.881 --> 00:21:32.712 Headmaster? 179 00:21:33.100 --> 00:21:38.473 - Does Barneweller have something to say? - For every problem there's a solution. 180 00:21:38.641 --> 00:21:43.317 - For every mathematical problem, yes. - No, we meant the Headmaster's problem. 181 00:21:44.161 --> 00:21:46.117 My problem? 182 00:21:46.641 --> 00:21:51.780 - What do you know about it? - We think you're going about it the wrong way. 183 00:21:52.100 --> 00:21:56.313 - Isn't that a little personal? - We have a particular interest in the matter. 184 00:21:56.441 --> 00:22:00.116 - What interest is that? - If the school is going to be co-educational. 185 00:22:00.241 --> 00:22:01.980 - Girls in the school! - We have room for them! 186 00:22:02.800 --> 00:22:07.256 - We've done the calculations. - No... girls? You know what that will cost? 187 00:22:02.961 --> 00:22:07.398 188 00:22:07.356 --> 00:22:12.297 - Yes, we've considered the economics. - We can come up with the money! 189 00:22:12.321 --> 00:22:15.836 - With jobs over the summer break. - Bring out the model! 190 00:22:24.810 --> 00:22:26.231 What have you cooked up now? 191 00:22:26.361 --> 00:22:30.274 Do you know what this would cost? Although, I suppose you do. 192 00:22:30.401 --> 00:22:32.869 What's 100,000 these days? 193 00:22:33.761 --> 00:22:38.391 - Very handsome, I must say. - The girls will stay in the pensioners' wing. 194 00:22:38.521 --> 00:22:41.160 And here is the key... 195 00:22:41.481 --> 00:22:45.156 "Hotel Mazurka"? What does this mean? 196 00:22:45.281 --> 00:22:50.116 - People are wild about staying at a castle. - Advertise it as "A Chateau guesthouse"... 197 00:22:50.241 --> 00:22:54.154 -... "in a beautiful setting." People will pour in! - Leaving cash when they check out! 198 00:22:54.281 --> 00:22:57.398 - We'll manage it ourselves. - We have many more ideas. 199 00:22:59.161 --> 00:23:02.233 No, it just won't do. 200 00:23:02.401 --> 00:23:06.633 Well done, boys, but it really won't do. 201 00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:38.959 - Carry these bags to room 112, please. - No, I'm excused from physical exercise. 202 00:23:39.810 --> 00:23:41.549 This was your idea! 203 00:23:50.841 --> 00:23:52.832 32,500... 204 00:23:53.121 --> 00:23:56.431 That puts us approximately here... 205 00:23:59.321 --> 00:24:02.870 - It's... - No, it's not. 206 00:24:03.410 --> 00:24:04.838 No, not at all. 207 00:24:09.721 --> 00:24:16.797 - Someone has certainly shot a lot of parrots. - Not parrots, Herbert. Deer! 208 00:24:21.561 --> 00:24:26.351 - Shouldn't the beds be pushed together? - A space between them can also be nice. 209 00:24:26.761 --> 00:24:28.991 A space between...! 210 00:24:30.601 --> 00:24:34.710 - No, I'm in a hurry! - Okay, I'll be quick! 211 00:24:34.481 --> 00:24:36.437 Someone's coming! 212 00:24:40.521 --> 00:24:45.549 - I hope the room is suitable, Director. - As long as it suits the Director's wife. 213 00:24:45.681 --> 00:24:48.912 - The Director's wife? - That's you, darling! 214 00:24:49.410 --> 00:24:53.124 - I was just smoothing down the bed for you. - Thank you, we don't want to be disturbed now. 215 00:24:56.321 --> 00:24:57.720 Goodbye... 216 00:25:00.441 --> 00:25:02.397 DOING HOMEWORK 217 00:25:14.721 --> 00:25:20.398 Søren and Erik, clean the large room in the east tower. We don't have enough double beds. 218 00:25:20.521 --> 00:25:24.400 Then bring up the large poster bed from the basement. 219 00:25:24.561 --> 00:25:29.555 - That old thing? From Christian IV's time? - Do it! We'll say that he slept in it, ... 220 00:25:29.681 --> 00:25:31.637 ... and charge an extra 20 kronor! 221 00:25:43.201 --> 00:25:46.830 - Have you been down in the basement before? - No. 222 00:26:02.681 --> 00:26:06.435 Is it true that the place is haunted? 223 00:26:06.601 --> 00:26:07.920 Haunted... ? 224 00:26:08.410 --> 00:26:12.512 I'm crazy about ghosts. It was in the ad. 225 00:26:16.481 --> 00:26:19.473 Who writes these ads? 226 00:26:25.601 --> 00:26:31.312 You have to hand it to them... they were right. I take my hat off to the young people. 227 00:26:31.441 --> 00:26:33.955 The boys must be totally girl-crazy! 228 00:26:34.810 --> 00:26:37.835 - Sodom and Gomorrah... - That's enough, Hansen. 229 00:26:52.481 --> 00:26:57.794 - That Mikkelmax is a good man. - You should call him Headmaster Mikkelsen. 230 00:26:57.921 --> 00:27:01.596 Later, when you're an old man in the schoolyard like me, you can call him "Mikkelmax". 231 00:27:01.721 --> 00:27:06.556 Here's the bed. It's too heavy. We'll take another. 232 00:27:10.681 --> 00:27:13.832 How did you get such a young headmaster? 233 00:27:14.161 --> 00:27:17.756 - It was the former headmaster's wife. - That doesn't make any sense! 234 00:27:17.881 --> 00:27:22.909 - There's the one we want. The narrow one. - Come on, tell me what happened. 235 00:27:24.841 --> 00:27:30.393 He was an ordinary teacher. We liked him, we trusted him. 236 00:27:30.561 --> 00:27:34.679 Unfortunately, he had to be married, for moral reasons. 237 00:27:34.841 --> 00:27:38.197 We found a bride for him, but he ran off, just like that! 238 00:27:38.361 --> 00:27:43.560 At the annual ball, Headmaster Bostedt's wife dragged him off to bed with her! 239 00:27:43.681 --> 00:27:46.912 Maybe the Mazurka went to their heads! 240 00:27:47.810 --> 00:27:52.792 The next day Mikkelmax was deemed qualified, appointed Headmaster, and married my sister. 241 00:27:53.241 --> 00:27:57.234 - The Head Witch is here! - Who? Mrs. Bostedt? 242 00:28:13.601 --> 00:28:17.958 - Did the old headmaster ever find out? - He was oblivious. 243 00:28:18.810 --> 00:28:20.436 That year he became Minister of Culture. 244 00:28:20.601 --> 00:28:24.913 - Welcome to Krubbesögård. - Or the Hotel Mazurka? 245 00:28:25.410 --> 00:28:29.159 Good afternoon, Mr. Burneweller. Do you have room for an old Headmaster's wife? 246 00:28:29.281 --> 00:28:32.671 Madam Minister of Culture, you look younger and more beautiful than ever. 247 00:28:32.801 --> 00:28:35.474 Your usual flattery, "De Fontenay". 248 00:28:35.641 --> 00:28:37.874 - Here's Hansen ... - Mr. Hansen! 249 00:28:37.874 --> 00:28:40.151 - Good day. - Good day, Mr. Hansen. 250 00:28:41.810 --> 00:28:45.359 And here's my dear, unfortunate successor. Good day. 251 00:28:45.481 --> 00:28:49.830 How is your husband? Hearty and happy, I hope? 252 00:28:49.830 --> 00:28:50.531 Yes, thank you. 253 00:28:50.631 --> 00:28:54.596 Being Headmaster here can be a little stressful ... 254 00:29:04.921 --> 00:29:09.358 - Good day, Mrs. Bostedt. - Good day, Headmaster Mikkelsen. 255 00:29:09.561 --> 00:29:13.713 - Did I frighten you? - It's been a long time since we ... 256 00:29:14.441 --> 00:29:18.150 ... since I had the pleasure... 257 00:29:18.881 --> 00:29:23.193 Criminals always return to the scene of the crime! 258 00:29:23.761 --> 00:29:27.595 How is Headmaster Bostedt ... Minister of Culture? 259 00:29:27.761 --> 00:29:31.436 He's preparing himself. He's always preparing himself. 260 00:29:31.561 --> 00:29:38.160 - But he's hearty and happy? - Hearty? Of course, he's always hearty. 261 00:29:40.161 --> 00:29:42.914 Bertha calling winch operator... 262 00:29:56.761 --> 00:29:59.798 Niller, give me a hand here! 263 00:30:00.321 --> 00:30:01.674 Help! 264 00:30:01.801 --> 00:30:04.110 Get me down! 265 00:30:04.281 --> 00:30:06.795 Get me down, please! 266 00:30:06.961 --> 00:30:09.156 Help! Help! 267 00:30:30.361 --> 00:30:34.240 - I'll get you down right away! - There's no rush. 268 00:30:46.161 --> 00:30:48.356 - Shouldn't you have brought the whole squad? - Yeah... 269 00:30:49.810 --> 00:30:54.109 - Why do you think she's here? - Mrs Bostedt? How should I know? 270 00:30:54.241 --> 00:30:58.598 - This is our chance! Go after her. - What do you mean? 271 00:30:58.721 --> 00:31:01.679 You should be especially nice to her. 272 00:31:01.801 --> 00:31:07.512 - Why should I do that? - Not just friendly, but very friendly... 273 00:31:08.241 --> 00:31:11.153 Who else is staying here? 274 00:31:11.561 --> 00:31:14.598 No one I know, it would seem. 275 00:31:15.801 --> 00:31:21.340 - It's still a long way, Headmaster Mikkelsen. - Yes, but we're nearly halfway there. 276 00:31:21.161 --> 00:31:27.919 Given the short time remaining, there's a good chance you will fail. 277 00:31:28.410 --> 00:31:30.811 Max Mikkelsen usually gets what he wants. 278 00:31:32.172 --> 00:31:34.282 Yes... so we're opening an antique shop. 279 00:31:34.382 --> 00:31:38.247 The School Board has agreed to let us sell the old stuff in the basement. 280 00:31:38.347 --> 00:31:44.373 - Copenhageners love that old junk. - I thought it would be kind of ... 281 00:31:38.641 --> 00:31:44.273 282 00:31:44.401 --> 00:31:48.633 - ... of Mrs. Bostedt, if you wouldn't mind. - I'd be happy to. 283 00:32:04.100 --> 00:32:08.438 Why, we've found lots of interesting odd things. 284 00:32:09.641 --> 00:32:13.475 For example ... A chamber pot. 285 00:32:14.201 --> 00:32:17.876 - The necessary jug! - When? Now? 286 00:32:18.161 --> 00:32:22.791 - Sorry... I get it. - Madam has an eye for quality. 287 00:32:24.401 --> 00:32:31.432 Much stems from the time when Otto Krabbe-Krabbesø lived here. 288 00:32:31.601 --> 00:32:35.514 This is one of the more intriguing... 289 00:32:37.521 --> 00:32:40.274 Something from an old stove...? 290 00:32:40.441 --> 00:32:43.797 Or a rubber corset, perhaps? 291 00:32:43.961 --> 00:32:48.398 - No, it's a chastity belt. - A chastity belt? 292 00:32:48.921 --> 00:32:54.359 When knights went off to war, they often feared their wives would be unfaithful. 293 00:32:54.481 --> 00:33:00.795 So they put one of those on, and were confident that she was unavailable ... locked. 294 00:33:01.601 --> 00:33:04.513 It's a horrible object. Remove your finger, Hansen! 295 00:33:04.641 --> 00:33:10.432 - I can't, it hurts, - It's the little one, you have nine others. 296 00:33:11.361 --> 00:33:16.674 It's odd that something like that became unfashionable. It would still be useful today. 297 00:33:16.801 --> 00:33:20.240 Today's women are hot to jump in the sack. 298 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:22.824 - Excuse me, Mrs. Bosted! - That's alright... 299 00:33:28.961 --> 00:33:33.790 Grains of Paradise, Field Bindweed, Castoreum... 300 00:33:33.321 --> 00:33:39.237 - We're in a hurry. What do you have there? - "Cyprianus," what is it? 301 00:33:39.361 --> 00:33:44.435 Cyprianus is a book of witchcraft. "Atus, Satus..." 302 00:33:44.561 --> 00:33:48.110 - It sounds scary. - They're spells. Are you superstitious? 303 00:33:48.241 --> 00:33:53.235 - No! - Recipes for potions and the like. 304 00:33:53.921 --> 00:33:58.949 It isn't make believe. It's been proven that they stil work to this day! 305 00:33:59.961 --> 00:34:02.873 Here we have the ingredients! 306 00:34:03.321 --> 00:34:08.395 Angelica root... Asafetida resin... 307 00:34:09.201 --> 00:34:12.989 Erik, shouldn't we be going upstairs? They'll be missing us by now. 308 00:34:13.121 --> 00:34:17.239 - The guests will ready for their mazurka lesson. - Are you afraid? 309 00:34:17.641 --> 00:34:19.711 - Not me! - Listen... 310 00:34:20.410 --> 00:34:25.752 Love potion: Mix wall paste, wine grapes, and teriaca ... 311 00:34:25.881 --> 00:34:33.640 ... in a glass of milk containing a crushed human tooth. 312 00:34:33.801 --> 00:34:38.238 - It sounds delicious! - We're looking for something else... 313 00:34:38.721 --> 00:34:43.841 Here's a better one! To get the glow of love and joy ... 314 00:34:43.961 --> 00:34:46.521 - The glow of love? - Sexual arousal. 315 00:34:46.641 --> 00:34:51.780 - A little powdered Asafetida resin, ... - Shit? 316 00:34:51.441 --> 00:34:55.798 ... St. John's Wort and dwarf nettle, ... 317 00:34:55.921 --> 00:34:58.958 ... whisked together the whites of bird eggs, ... 318 00:34:59.810 --> 00:35:04.201 ... and a bit of tender sea holly while chanting: "Asus, satus, ... 319 00:35:04.361 --> 00:35:09.276 - "... cussitus, cussatus." - That's sounds exciting. 320 00:35:09.781 --> 00:35:17.213 Of course! Why don't we provide everyone with the glow of love? "Everything for the guests!" 321 00:35:40.281 --> 00:35:42.237 Hi there... 322 00:35:47.321 --> 00:35:50.154 I'll show Mrs. Bostedt to her room. 323 00:35:50.281 --> 00:35:51.953 Line! 324 00:35:52.761 --> 00:35:54.672 Fabian! 325 00:35:56.241 --> 00:36:04.273 - It's your old Fabian! Are you still single? - No, I'm an old married housewife! 326 00:36:04.521 --> 00:36:07.319 - I can take care of myself. - Thank you, Mrs. Bostedt. 327 00:36:07.681 --> 00:36:10.957 - So good to see you! - Good day. 328 00:36:11.501 --> 00:36:13.537 Mix Makkelsen. 329 00:36:13.761 --> 00:36:16.150 This is Fabian. 330 00:36:16.681 --> 00:36:19.195 You betrayed our old ideals, then. 331 00:36:19.321 --> 00:36:23.872 That's Fabian. We were war comrades in my revolutionary past. 332 00:36:24.100 --> 00:36:29.519 The ad read: "Chateau guesthouse for broad-minded people." Just my style ... 333 00:36:29.781 --> 00:36:32.107 Do you have a room with a view toward the inner courtyard? 334 00:36:32.107 --> 00:36:33.980 Yes, room 24. 335 00:36:34.761 --> 00:36:40.438 I'll get out of my driving gear, so we can have a couple of broad-minded drinks later! 336 00:36:40.561 --> 00:36:45.960 I'm looking forward to it. Jytte, show Mr. Fabian to room 24. 337 00:36:57.561 --> 00:36:59.199 No... 338 00:37:05.241 --> 00:37:10.474 - Hello, do you have a room? - Unfortunately, we only have single rooms left. 339 00:37:10.601 --> 00:37:15.436 - But we're just married... newlyweds! - What a shame! 340 00:37:15.601 --> 00:37:21.551 It isn't because you're not married... guests trying to arrange something. 341 00:37:24.801 --> 00:37:28.714 Alright! Then we have something after all. 342 00:37:29.810 --> 00:37:31.879 - Come on, let's go upstairs. - Already? 343 00:37:32.281 --> 00:37:36.399 Jens, show the young couple up to room 18. 344 00:37:40.321 --> 00:37:42.390 Congratulations! 345 00:37:43.801 --> 00:37:46.918 I'm allergic to rice! 346 00:37:47.841 --> 00:37:49.433 Oh... sorry! 347 00:37:50.441 --> 00:37:54.195 - Hans, go ahead. I have to make a call. - Do you have to? 348 00:37:54.321 --> 00:37:56.391 Yes... to mama. 349 00:37:59.281 --> 00:38:03.638 Mazurka is a tradition here at Krabbesögård. 350 00:38:03.841 --> 00:38:09.473 A beautiful dance, a chivalric dance, a tribute to the woman. 351 00:39:06.601 --> 00:39:11.197 The Minister may have sent his wife as a secret observer. 352 00:39:11.321 --> 00:39:17.396 - Otherwise, why did she arrive unannounced? - She put in a call to Copenhagen. 353 00:39:17.521 --> 00:39:20.672 - What did I say? - What did you say, Hansen? 354 00:39:20.801 --> 00:39:25.875 I wash my hands of this. I do. Sodom and Gomorrah. 355 00:39:30.641 --> 00:39:36.796 We can take advantage of Mikkelsen's threat to leave if he doesn't get the money. 356 00:39:36.921 --> 00:39:39.674 There are other possible Headmasters here. 357 00:39:40.801 --> 00:39:43.554 Thank you! Next couples on the floor! 358 00:39:43.721 --> 00:39:49.193 Everyone should have the chance to participate. Remember to pay at the front desk. 359 00:39:49.321 --> 00:39:54.760 - I had no idea that you could mazurku. - I can do anything you want. 360 00:40:04.521 --> 00:40:08.953 You were quite right, Max Mikkelsen. It was a long time ago. 361 00:40:19.201 --> 00:40:21.780 Professor Holst! 362 00:40:25.201 --> 00:40:30.434 On behalf of the School Board, we thank you for your efforts. 363 00:40:30.561 --> 00:40:36.400 It's an honor to help see that the Krubbesös' traditions are maintained. 364 00:40:36.721 --> 00:40:43.633 Some of us believe that your talents should be used in a more important post. 365 00:41:06.100 --> 00:41:09.994 - Are you happy? - With Max? Yes, of course. 366 00:41:10.201 --> 00:41:13.511 It's not very apparent. 367 00:41:15.481 --> 00:41:17.676 But I am happy. 368 00:41:18.961 --> 00:41:20.917 I'm glad. 369 00:41:29.241 --> 00:41:32.358 - Manufacturer Rust... - Wholesale sausage! 370 00:41:32.481 --> 00:41:34.472 - Nürnberg. - Toys! 371 00:41:34.601 --> 00:41:38.706 - Shall we dance? - What? I suppose so... 372 00:41:42.801 --> 00:41:46.191 Look, your husband is dancing with the Culture Minister's wife. 373 00:41:46.321 --> 00:41:50.599 - Do you know Mrs. Bostedt? - Not very well... not at all! 374 00:41:50.761 --> 00:41:54.754 Just from the media. I'm not at all interested in politics. 375 00:41:56.321 --> 00:42:00.155 - Why don't we go to our room now? - There's no hurry! 376 00:42:00.281 --> 00:42:02.556 No, of course not. 377 00:42:04.441 --> 00:42:07.717 - Can you bring me some coffee? - Yeah, sure... if there's any left. 378 00:42:07.841 --> 00:42:12.471 It's the least you can do for one who's the life of the party here! 379 00:42:23.241 --> 00:42:28.774 - Let's we make sure we've left nothing out. - The words... in the formula. 380 00:42:30.921 --> 00:42:35.358 Atus, Satus, Fissetus... 381 00:42:35.761 --> 00:42:38.673 - Cusse! - Cusse? 382 00:42:42.361 --> 00:42:47.230 Atus, Satus, Cussetus ,,, 383 00:42:52.441 --> 00:42:55.751 - Isn't it dangerous? - Rubbish! 384 00:42:55.921 --> 00:42:59.834 What should we put it in? The salt shakers! 385 00:43:12.761 --> 00:43:16.117 What on earth are you guys up to? 386 00:43:21.100 --> 00:43:24.311 - It's just a little salt... - For an egg... yes. 387 00:43:24.441 --> 00:43:29.840 For an ostrich egg? I have enough to do without cleaning up after you. 388 00:43:31.321 --> 00:43:37.669 By the way, have you seen how the Headmaster's wife has been acting around that Fabian? 389 00:43:38.641 --> 00:43:40.871 I bet she wants to... 390 00:43:44.241 --> 00:43:50.840 - Is that for you, Jytte? - No, it's for "Doormat", who's playing the king. 391 00:43:51.281 --> 00:43:55.672 But I think I'll have a cup myself. He'll have to wait, ... 392 00:43:58.241 --> 00:44:00.755 ... until it's all over. 393 00:44:01.641 --> 00:44:07.552 - Take him half a cup. - It's all he deserves. 394 00:44:08.726 --> 00:44:10.455 The pig... 395 00:44:17.641 --> 00:44:23.790 - Won't you have some, too? - It's too strong. We don't drink coffee. 396 00:44:29.521 --> 00:44:34.356 - What are you standing there staring at? - You're a cute little coffee maker. 397 00:44:34.481 --> 00:44:37.120 Get out of here! 398 00:44:54.161 --> 00:44:57.949 No, take it to the "Doormat". It's for the "Doormat"! 399 00:45:06.801 --> 00:45:10.555 Thank you for coming out tonight. We'll continue tomorrow. 400 00:45:10.681 --> 00:45:14.833 Don't forget to report your time, and make payment at the reception desk. 401 00:45:14.961 --> 00:45:19.751 We've done better at the Mazurka, Max. Forgive me for saying it. 402 00:45:19.881 --> 00:45:24.330 You're right. I wasn't very good this evening. 403 00:45:30.100 --> 00:45:33.676 Thank you for tonight, Mrs. Bostedt. I hope I didn't spoil it for you. 404 00:45:33.801 --> 00:45:36.190 You know what I feel like doing? 405 00:45:36.361 --> 00:45:41.370 Taking a walk around the lake. In the moonlight. Have you seen the school ... 406 00:45:41.161 --> 00:45:45.871 ... when it's reflected in the lake? - Yes, it is quite beautiful. 407 00:45:46.601 --> 00:45:52.676 - Damn! They've closed the kitchen! - Don't you think about anything other than food? 408 00:45:52.801 --> 00:45:55.395 All that hopping around made me hungry. 409 00:46:01.561 --> 00:46:03.358 Oh, my scarf... 410 00:46:08.961 --> 00:46:13.273 - Are you finished already, Professor Holst? - Fortunately, yes. 411 00:46:23.481 --> 00:46:27.599 "Some of us believe that your talents ... 412 00:46:32.481 --> 00:46:37.391 "... should be used in a more important post." 413 00:46:55.561 --> 00:47:01.591 You're... so good at mazurka, Professor Holst! 414 00:47:01.761 --> 00:47:06.232 What did say you, little girl? I take it you're interested... 415 00:47:12.201 --> 00:47:14.635 I really want to... 416 00:47:14.761 --> 00:47:19.730 - Right now. - What do you know... 417 00:47:27.521 --> 00:47:30.194 Call me Hugo. 418 00:47:36.641 --> 00:47:40.839 I'm in room 13. Just... come on! 419 00:47:47.601 --> 00:47:51.879 - Stop, Fabian. You're not being very nice. - That's just what I'm trying to be. 420 00:47:52.100 --> 00:47:55.225 Line, we're two old war comrades ... 421 00:47:55.861 --> 00:48:00.239 No... now you can find someone else to go to war with. Good night! 422 00:48:17.561 --> 00:48:21.310 - Uncontrollable mirth. - 3:22 ... 423 00:48:21.201 --> 00:48:25.350 3:23 ... Mild cramps. 424 00:48:34.201 --> 00:48:36.795 After 4:06 ... 425 00:48:37.810 --> 00:48:40.391 -... strong erotic sensations. - Groping! 426 00:48:40.421 --> 00:48:42.670 - 4:15 ... - It's getting filthy! 427 00:48:58.961 --> 00:49:01.714 Leave them be. At... 428 00:49:01.841 --> 00:49:06.596 - ... six on the dot. - At six on the dot... we backed out. 429 00:49:11.681 --> 00:49:14.929 - Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah... 430 00:49:17.801 --> 00:49:21.111 Max! What were you thinking? 431 00:49:22.410 --> 00:49:27.350 Yes... it's just that ... You look so beautiful. 432 00:49:28.961 --> 00:49:33.712 - I guess I'm a little woozy tonight. - What about Fabian? 433 00:49:34.161 --> 00:49:36.550 Fabian? Do you know him? 434 00:49:36.681 --> 00:49:40.390 Yes... No, not exactly... 435 00:49:40.561 --> 00:49:46.750 Just from magazines at the hairdresser. He's a real playboy, ... 436 00:49:46.881 --> 00:49:50.920 ... and philanderer. If one can believe what you read. 437 00:49:51.810 --> 00:49:53.993 - I think ... - What do you think? 438 00:49:54.121 --> 00:50:00.371 - That I need to get in there and check on things. - Hurry up then, I'll stay here. 439 00:50:05.601 --> 00:50:08.718 Yes, mama... Yes, mama... 440 00:50:09.521 --> 00:50:11.113 Torben! 441 00:50:13.361 --> 00:50:14.999 Torben! 442 00:50:16.121 --> 00:50:21.514 - Have you seen my wife? - 3,462... plus the dance lessons ... 443 00:50:22.481 --> 00:50:25.917 Go back to sleep, Torben. 444 00:50:27.401 --> 00:50:31.760 Yes, mama... Of course, mama..., 445 00:50:34.100 --> 00:50:35.798 Yes, mama. 446 00:51:27.241 --> 00:51:29.380 No, mama. 447 00:51:29.761 --> 00:51:31.433 No, mama. 448 00:51:33.121 --> 00:51:34.873 No, mama. 449 00:51:42.441 --> 00:51:45.956 Torben! Who just left? 450 00:51:48.961 --> 00:51:53.916 - Wake up, Torben! You should be in bed. - What do you want? 451 00:51:54.201 --> 00:51:56.874 - Do you know who just left? - Left? 452 00:51:57.100 --> 00:52:03.310 Yes, left! Oh, go to bed. I'll close up. 453 00:52:13.601 --> 00:52:15.478 Yes, Reception. 454 00:52:16.641 --> 00:52:21.198 Max? Where did you go? I miss you. 455 00:52:22.801 --> 00:52:25.873 No... How long will you be there? 456 00:52:28.121 --> 00:52:30.919 Well then, I'll just lie down ... 457 00:52:31.410 --> 00:52:34.330 ... alone. Good night. 458 00:52:59.161 --> 00:53:03.916 Rise and shine! Brush your teeth, make the beds! 459 00:53:07.321 --> 00:53:10.870 Rise and shine! Brush your teeth, make the beds! 460 00:53:16.601 --> 00:53:18.956 Yes, I'll be right there! 461 00:53:20.241 --> 00:53:22.914 And for Professor Holst... 462 00:53:23.601 --> 00:53:28.470 - Five eggs for the "Doormat"? - Professor Holst, if you please! 463 00:53:28.601 --> 00:53:32.799 - He needs no salt! - No. 18 and No. 6, please. 464 00:53:32.961 --> 00:53:37.239 - Should I put salt in here? - Who takes salt in their coffee? 465 00:53:40.810 --> 00:53:46.640 - How do we know who is whose? - There's a difference between men and women. 466 00:54:08.241 --> 00:54:10.357 Good morning! 467 00:54:10.681 --> 00:54:16.414 What a lovely day! The roster for the morning ride. 468 00:54:31.201 --> 00:54:33.431 And so we mount up... 469 00:54:46.100 --> 00:54:50.358 - Is everyone stoned? - Erik says it's too much salt. 470 00:54:50.481 --> 00:54:55.350 Walk behind me through the green forest, in a line. Come on! 471 00:54:58.201 --> 00:55:02.797 Let's forget about the sugar bowl. We'll soon see if it's the right stuff. 472 00:55:05.100 --> 00:55:07.370 Good morning, ma'am, 473 00:55:08.441 --> 00:55:11.160 How did we sleep? 474 00:55:12.801 --> 00:55:15.998 - Please... - Breakfast in bed. How lovely. 475 00:55:16.121 --> 00:55:18.635 Eggs... and salt. 476 00:55:33.441 --> 00:55:36.678 Anything else I can do for madam? 477 00:55:37.561 --> 00:55:39.199 Enjoy... 478 00:55:41.721 --> 00:55:45.111 Was it enough? Was the witch powder in the shaker? 479 00:55:45.241 --> 00:55:50.913 Take this. We'll give her five minutes. Then you go in with the sugar bowl. 480 00:55:54.321 --> 00:55:59.475 - Come and eat now, honey. - Yes, thanks, I just need to... 481 00:56:00.201 --> 00:56:02.874 No thanks. I'm not hungry. 482 00:56:03.801 --> 00:56:07.919 You're always hungry in the morning. Who are you writing to? 483 00:56:08.410 --> 00:56:13.474 The Minister. Our last chance. I have to let him know we won't have enough. 484 00:56:15.641 --> 00:56:22.638 - Didn't you get anywhere with Mrs. Bostedt? - With Mrs. Bostedt? What do you mean? 485 00:56:24.201 --> 00:56:28.558 Wasn't that why you were rubbing up against her all evening? 486 00:56:28.681 --> 00:56:32.469 So what about you and that... Fabian? 487 00:56:33.561 --> 00:56:38.112 Max! I actually think you're jealous. 488 00:56:39.481 --> 00:56:42.410 Don't bother me now, Line. 489 00:57:06.410 --> 00:57:10.990 - We forgot the sugar. - That's so sweet... thanks. 490 00:57:15.100 --> 00:57:19.870 I love putting something hard in my mouth. You want some? 491 00:57:27.410 --> 00:57:31.990 - What beautiful teeth you have. - I lost a ... 492 00:57:32.121 --> 00:57:34.681 It isn't noticeable. 493 00:57:35.481 --> 00:57:41.780 Why... it isn't even noticeable that you're just a schoolboy. 494 00:57:41.521 --> 00:57:47.357 - I'm in the highest... - My... what big muscles you have! 495 00:57:48.321 --> 00:57:50.960 Take off your jacket. 496 00:57:51.321 --> 00:57:53.516 I'll help you. 497 00:57:55.521 --> 00:57:59.753 - No, Director, no! - Would the Director care for some coffee? 498 00:57:59.881 --> 00:58:02.998 - Yes, thank you. - Coffee first! 499 00:58:06.601 --> 00:58:12.153 How your heart is beating, my lovely boy. Feel mine... 500 00:58:14.761 --> 00:58:17.559 - I can't feel anything. - Then try here. 501 00:58:18.641 --> 00:58:21.713 Such soft, warm hands! 502 00:58:27.201 --> 00:58:31.558 - Won't you be happy when you get girls here? - I don't know. 503 00:58:31.681 --> 00:58:35.913 You can have all the girls you want. What's your name? 504 00:58:36.810 --> 00:58:38.293 - Søren. - Søren? 505 00:58:39.810 --> 00:58:42.437 You're really a naughty boy, Søren. 506 00:58:49.100 --> 00:58:54.155 - I know what you're after. - I wasn't after anything! 507 00:58:54.521 --> 00:58:56.955 The same thing all men want! 508 00:58:57.481 --> 00:59:01.315 - Be gentle... you're so experienced! - Someone might come in! 509 00:59:01.441 --> 00:59:05.275 Then be quick! Take me, big boy! 510 00:59:05.401 --> 00:59:07.756 - The riding lesson is at 10:00. - Ride me, ride me! 511 00:59:07.881 --> 00:59:11.430 No, not my underwear. It was never in the ad! 512 00:59:11.561 --> 00:59:16.937 Four minutes and he's already been sacrificed on the altar of science. 513 00:59:20.521 --> 00:59:23.319 You're sitting on my pee stick! 514 00:59:41.121 --> 00:59:44.431 Do you have to finish that stupid letter right now? 515 00:59:44.601 --> 00:59:49.277 Yes, you're right. You're absolutely right! 516 00:59:50.761 --> 00:59:52.240 Yes! 517 00:59:56.410 --> 00:59:59.351 I have to go and talk to the Minister. 518 01:00:00.410 --> 01:00:03.920 Man to man, eye to eye ... 519 01:00:27.201 --> 01:00:30.910 Men can be very strange. 520 01:00:31.361 --> 01:00:37.231 Yes, very strange, indeed. But perhaps they are necessary? 521 01:00:37.401 --> 01:00:42.998 - At certain times, of course. - Right. At certain times. 522 01:00:43.201 --> 01:00:46.273 It doesn't really matter which one you choose. 523 01:00:46.401 --> 01:00:50.440 Most believe they're dynamite. 524 01:00:50.761 --> 01:00:54.276 Yes, with their little package... 525 01:00:56.841 --> 01:01:00.151 While women lack for nothing... 526 01:01:00.281 --> 01:01:04.513 Oh, thank you. Thank you, sir... 527 01:01:12.721 --> 01:01:14.313 - Fabian? - Yes? 528 01:01:16.881 --> 01:01:21.632 Would you like to ... see my stamp collection? 529 01:01:23.881 --> 01:01:26.520 I'd love to! 530 01:01:53.921 --> 01:01:58.790 Please, Fabian, can't you stop this? It isn't that I ... 531 01:01:58.921 --> 01:02:03.730 Why should I? You're beautiful, Line. 532 01:02:03.201 --> 01:02:08.594 You know, I'm probably what's called a "neglected wife." 533 01:02:08.761 --> 01:02:12.834 Neglected wives are my specialty. 534 01:02:15.681 --> 01:02:20.880 - No! Not in my own bed! - That's what it's here for! 535 01:02:21.100 --> 01:02:24.380 I saw your husband leave. When will he be back? 536 01:02:26.121 --> 01:02:29.330 Now, I think... Yes, now! 537 01:02:29.201 --> 01:02:33.797 You stand there and look for him, while Uncle Fabian does his thing... 538 01:02:34.321 --> 01:02:37.119 Fabian! You pig! 539 01:04:04.961 --> 01:04:11.594 What is culture? And what is our cultural policy, some might ask. 540 01:04:12.410 --> 01:04:16.159 - I owe you the answer to that. - That's right! 541 01:04:19.881 --> 01:04:24.318 The honorable Member knows very well what our cultural policy stands for. 542 01:04:24.441 --> 01:04:27.956 We aren't here to debate culture. 543 01:04:29.100 --> 01:04:34.678 We, for our part, are of the opinion that the most noble cultural works ... 544 01:04:34.801 --> 01:04:40.114 ... come to us from the people. They come down from the common people. 545 01:04:40.241 --> 01:04:45.315 The wanderer Storm Petersen once quipped ... if Mr. President will allow ... 546 01:04:45.441 --> 01:04:52.950 "Androcles, what is culture?" You'd get this answer: "Something to polish the furniture with." 547 01:04:56.521 --> 01:05:02.790 Not least is the culture where a young headmaster and his dedicated students make ... 548 01:05:02.921 --> 01:05:08.234 ... a selfless effort to create a co-educational school, striking a blow for women's education! 549 01:05:08.401 --> 01:05:09.959 I agree! 550 01:05:11.410 --> 01:05:15.114 This is the kind... The kind of impact ... 551 01:05:15.241 --> 01:05:19.320 ... that we, for our part, would like to support. 552 01:05:31.921 --> 01:05:34.435 What do you think? 553 01:05:35.161 --> 01:05:37.834 I definitely... 554 01:05:38.100 --> 01:05:42.836 - "Father Playing the Violin" - And I definitely think ... 555 01:05:43.161 --> 01:05:45.914 ... I don't like it. Sorry. 556 01:05:46.721 --> 01:05:49.519 - 50,000! - 50,000? 557 01:05:49.721 --> 01:05:51.791 Per piece. 558 01:05:52.201 --> 01:05:56.752 - I could build two girls' classrooms with that! - Now, have a little patience... Max. 559 01:05:56.881 --> 01:06:02.160 You have my support, my moral support, for your girls' program. 560 01:06:05.321 --> 01:06:08.711 "Something to polish furniture with..." Did you hear that? 561 01:06:08.841 --> 01:06:12.516 He compared culture to furniture polish! 562 01:06:12.641 --> 01:06:15.314 - Did you understood it? - Yes... 563 01:06:17.521 --> 01:06:23.756 - When do you think the case will be decided? - It requires preparation. Like everything. 564 01:06:25.681 --> 01:06:30.709 - And how's my wife been doing? - Yes... Mrs. Bostedt has been very well. 565 01:06:30.841 --> 01:06:34.445 - I think she's really enjoyed herself. - Turn the key. 566 01:06:34.545 --> 01:06:36.978 - The key? - There, lock the door! 567 01:06:35.161 --> 01:06:37.720 568 01:06:45.201 --> 01:06:51.710 Sometimes one needs to relax. Culture can be exhausting. 569 01:07:03.641 --> 01:07:06.314 You can easily become stressed out by new things. 570 01:07:06.441 --> 01:07:12.391 Isn't that true, Max? How's your wife doing at my old school? 571 01:07:12.561 --> 01:07:16.520 Excellent, thank you. Within reason ... 572 01:07:20.521 --> 01:07:23.274 - Yes? - Minister, your car is ready. 573 01:07:23.401 --> 01:07:28.310 - Where am I going now? - A sculpture unveiling, at People's Place. 574 01:07:28.561 --> 01:07:32.873 Now I remember it! Thanks. It's like this every single day. 575 01:07:33.100 --> 01:07:37.517 Well, duty calls. Come along, Max, we'll have lunch ... 576 01:07:37.641 --> 01:07:42.157 ... and discuss your problem. - Gladly, if I won't be a nuisance. 577 01:07:45.241 --> 01:07:51.770 The sculptor is talented. He gets government grants. We've provided for all his wives, ... 578 01:07:51.201 --> 01:07:55.717 ... and his many offspring for years and years. What a talent! 579 01:07:56.241 --> 01:08:00.632 Modern art, especially sculpture, ... 580 01:08:00.761 --> 01:08:05.755 ... is an answer that speaks for itself. 581 01:08:06.201 --> 01:08:11.912 The exquisite, sublime artwork. It speaks to us ... 582 01:08:12.810 --> 01:08:17.553 ... even before it is born, while it is still concealed within its mother's womb. 583 01:08:18.810 --> 01:08:25.112 She still a virgin. It is unconcerned, yet it... speaks to us. 584 01:08:25.281 --> 01:08:30.196 The artist's task today is to remain silent and eliminate the sublimation of works of art! 585 01:08:30.321 --> 01:08:35.793 People must not impose on others' perceptions. They must judge it for themselves ... 586 01:08:35.961 --> 01:08:40.432 Yes, exactly. And with those few well-chosen words ... 587 01:08:40.561 --> 01:08:44.474 ... I have the pleasure to unveil the sculpture which the artist has entitled: 588 01:08:44.601 --> 01:08:46.478 ... "Kiss my..."? 589 01:08:50.810 --> 01:08:52.197 "Kiss my..."! 590 01:09:09.361 --> 01:09:13.434 - Mama, there's nothing there. - Be quiet! Just applaud! 591 01:09:18.481 --> 01:09:25.512 I'm often a grass widower. In my position there's no time for a wife. 592 01:09:26.441 --> 01:09:31.370 I can't blame her if she's a little restless. 593 01:09:31.161 --> 01:09:36.793 - You can't understand such things at your age. - Yes, I certainly can, Mr. Bostedt. 594 01:09:38.641 --> 01:09:40.393 Unfortunately... 595 01:09:40.521 --> 01:09:45.436 You can? Yes, you can. That's encouraging. 596 01:09:45.801 --> 01:09:51.956 It is unfortunate that you can. However, Max ... 597 01:09:52.721 --> 01:09:58.398 ... I know a place where I'm not known. There is a solution to your problem. 598 01:09:58.521 --> 01:10:00.910 You need some preparation! 599 01:10:19.401 --> 01:10:24.973 What about this kind of preparation, Max? Does it provide a little stimulation? 600 01:10:25.410 --> 01:10:28.716 - Stimulation? - Yes, some new inspiration. 601 01:10:30.361 --> 01:10:32.750 External stimulation. 602 01:10:39.161 --> 01:10:44.315 - No, I'd rather eat at home. - What? Yes... of course. 603 01:10:44.441 --> 01:10:48.719 But, you can still get an appetite by looking. 604 01:10:48.841 --> 01:10:51.275 Hello, Minister! 605 01:10:51.881 --> 01:10:58.275 - Call me "Holgersen." I'm incognito. - Looking for a little culture tonight? 606 01:11:32.361 --> 01:11:35.398 I'm afraid I like girls. 607 01:11:37.410 --> 01:11:40.238 But you can buy me a beer. 608 01:11:40.441 --> 01:11:43.194 I never thought Max was like that! 609 01:12:20.810 --> 01:12:21.639 Line ... 610 01:12:22.810 --> 01:12:24.370 Are you asleep? 611 01:12:38.801 --> 01:12:41.554 What are you doing with that? 612 01:12:41.681 --> 01:12:47.339 What were you doing with it? Why were you sleeping with this in your hand? 613 01:12:47.841 --> 01:12:51.311 Where have you been? It's already light outside. 614 01:12:52.481 --> 01:12:56.997 In Copenhagen, we went out to eat, ... 615 01:12:57.161 --> 01:13:02.410 ... the Minister and I. I couldn't get away from him. 616 01:13:05.241 --> 01:13:08.199 I think he's very lonely. 617 01:13:09.721 --> 01:13:12.879 Then what do you think I am? 618 01:13:20.721 --> 01:13:25.920 - Stolen? - Not sold. We could have got 3,000 for it. 619 01:13:26.161 --> 01:13:30.393 - The matter must be cleared up. - What's happened? 620 01:13:30.521 --> 01:13:36.198 - The chastity belt is gone... stolen. - Logic says it must have been a woman. 621 01:13:36.321 --> 01:13:40.599 - At least it wasn't me. - No, that's out of the question. I know. 622 01:13:40.721 --> 01:13:44.310 Hugo, I brought you a little breakfast and some eggs. 623 01:13:44.601 --> 01:13:49.516 I will personally get to the bottom of this! Thank you, ... 624 01:13:50.761 --> 01:13:52.240 ... my sweet girl. 625 01:14:30.641 --> 01:14:33.599 Is that you, little brother? 626 01:14:33.721 --> 01:14:39.637 - Why were you chasing the peacock? - I was... looking for some eggs. 627 01:14:40.281 --> 01:14:47.730 - What are you looking for? - A little key that I... I dropped. 628 01:14:47.681 --> 01:14:54.750 - Inside the bushes here? - Eggs, you said. What are you doing with eggs? 629 01:14:54.201 --> 01:14:56.795 They're for an invention. 630 01:14:57.721 --> 01:15:02.330 - What are you working on now? - Can you keep a secret? 631 01:15:11.961 --> 01:15:17.593 - Do you think they use sea salt here? - Salt as salt, just use a little more! 632 01:15:17.801 --> 01:15:23.990 ... awaiting full payment from you within three days. Yours sincerely... 633 01:15:25.601 --> 01:15:30.231 And to Basse & Ralf, in response to your offer of ... 634 01:15:30.361 --> 01:15:33.797 - I'm hungry. - Yes, it's good that you remind me. 635 01:15:33.921 --> 01:15:35.952 Mama's coming. 636 01:15:36.161 --> 01:15:40.359 Your mama? On our honeymoon! 637 01:15:40.601 --> 01:15:44.111 - Where are you going? - I'm going to call her! 638 01:15:46.681 --> 01:15:53.439 Everything tastes different here in the country. I think my eggs were fertilized! 639 01:15:53.761 --> 01:15:58.994 - But they become extremely horny from it! - How can you say no to your sister? 640 01:15:59.121 --> 01:16:03.399 I'm sorry, Mrs. Headmaster! I'll be happy to give Max a little salty food. 641 01:16:03.561 --> 01:16:04.789 Thanks. 642 01:16:06.641 --> 01:16:12.238 - What was that noise? - Oh, these old benches crack like that. 643 01:16:12.521 --> 01:16:16.400 You should see the reports I've written about how the powder appears to work. 644 01:16:16.561 --> 01:16:22.790 It is absolutely amazing! I could write a dissertation on it. 645 01:16:30.801 --> 01:16:33.759 Your mother will not be coming! 646 01:16:33.895 --> 01:16:38.755 - Oh yeah? That's wonderful. - What do you mean? 647 01:16:34.921 --> 01:16:38.755 648 01:16:39.961 --> 01:16:43.351 Hans... my man Hans... 649 01:16:56.921 --> 01:17:00.152 Don't use so much salt, Max, You're getting too much salt. 650 01:17:00.281 --> 01:17:04.320 Too much salt? I'm using no more salt than usual. 651 01:17:04.441 --> 01:17:09.231 You won't do well using that much salt. Not right now. 652 01:17:10.761 --> 01:17:15.551 1,500 for this fine thing? That's far too little! 653 01:17:15.681 --> 01:17:20.596 You should ask 2,000 for this. Then you'll make a little more money. 654 01:17:21.121 --> 01:17:25.831 I'll hang it over the bed in remembrance of you. 655 01:17:25.961 --> 01:17:30.154 Have you nothing else you want to sell? 656 01:18:12.410 --> 01:18:16.353 Was that you, dear Professor Holst? Did you want something? 657 01:18:16.481 --> 01:18:19.553 Sorry, I was just out with the Scouts. 658 01:18:19.681 --> 01:18:23.276 Professor Holst, there's a problem in the ironing shed. 659 01:18:23.401 --> 01:18:26.598 Ironing, of course. Excuse me... Good morning, 660 01:18:46.961 --> 01:18:48.360 Max! 661 01:18:49.681 --> 01:18:52.673 Good morning, Mrs. Bostedt. 662 01:18:53.121 --> 01:18:59.276 I'm so glad that you came. Can you please help me get it up there? 663 01:19:01.721 --> 01:19:06.590 It's just too big. I can't handle it by myself. 664 01:19:07.561 --> 01:19:10.750 Oh, the cannon! 665 01:19:10.281 --> 01:19:16.311 - I just bought it. Do you have time? - Of course I have time. 666 01:19:30.641 --> 01:19:37.314 - Are you sure it won't be too much for you? - No, not if it doesn't bother you. 667 01:19:46.241 --> 01:19:48.630 What the hell? 668 01:20:15.641 --> 01:20:19.395 - Why, Mrs. Bostedt! - Oh, Max... do you remember? 669 01:20:19.521 --> 01:20:23.958 - Yes... No! I was going to visit... - Yes, kiss me! 670 01:20:24.281 --> 01:20:26.670 No, Mrs. Bostedt, we can't... 671 01:20:27.441 --> 01:20:32.196 I know what I'm doing. Do it, Max! Do it! 672 01:20:34.721 --> 01:20:37.793 Can I join in? 673 01:20:57.481 --> 01:21:01.300 - What are you doing?! - Help me! Help me! Save me! 674 01:21:01.161 --> 01:21:04.198 We were doing so well. 675 01:21:04.321 --> 01:21:08.314 - What are you doing here? - Stop it, we were just having fun. 676 01:21:09.641 --> 01:21:12.872 I'll take care of you... 677 01:21:13.410 --> 01:21:18.690 I'll tell you one thing. You shouldn't start something you can't finish. 678 01:21:18.201 --> 01:21:23.275 I'll take enough care of Mrs. Bostedt. She and I are old acquaintances. 679 01:21:25.761 --> 01:21:28.116 Have a nice day! 680 01:21:30.107 --> 01:21:32.474 - Good day. - Good day. 681 01:21:36.481 --> 01:21:41.282 - Oh, Fabian, you're too horrible! - Oh, yeah? I'm just the way you like me. 682 01:21:41.382 --> 01:21:42.791 Come here, Fabian! 683 01:22:23.401 --> 01:22:27.300 Hello? Is my husband there? 684 01:22:27.241 --> 01:22:31.519 The Headmaster? He just went upstairs with Mrs. Bostedt. 685 01:22:36.641 --> 01:22:39.235 Yes, it was some time ago. 686 01:22:46.481 --> 01:22:51.396 Headmaster Mikkelsen, a telegram. And your wife just called. 687 01:22:52.201 --> 01:22:55.273 What do you think, Torben? 688 01:22:55.401 --> 01:22:58.359 We have to face the facts. We won't make it. 689 01:22:58.481 --> 01:23:03.999 If only it wasn't back to school tomorrow. One more week and we might have made it. 690 01:23:09.601 --> 01:23:11.956 Is there something wrong? 691 01:23:39.207 --> 01:23:42.321 Yes!! 692 01:23:56.100 --> 01:23:58.561 - How much? 50,000? - Yes! 693 01:23:58.681 --> 01:24:01.320 - Kronor? - Yes! 694 01:24:02.481 --> 01:24:05.632 Hurrah! The girls are coming into port! 695 01:24:06.681 --> 01:24:11.709 And it was our old Culture Minister Bostedt who arranged it! 696 01:24:11.841 --> 01:24:15.151 Long live the Culture Minister! 697 01:24:22.641 --> 01:24:24.199 Line! 698 01:24:27.721 --> 01:24:31.634 We've got a 50,000 contribution! It's fantastic! 699 01:24:31.761 --> 01:24:34.116 Congratulations, Max. 700 01:24:34.801 --> 01:24:38.999 Can you forgive me? I thought you were up there. 701 01:24:39.121 --> 01:24:44.320 It's me, darling! It really is! Come, let's go up and celebrate. 702 01:24:44.441 --> 01:24:50.730 - Yes... No. I can't right now. - But I'm not stressed anymore! 703 01:24:50.201 --> 01:24:53.796 - Not at all! - But I might be... 704 01:24:54.241 --> 01:24:59.156 I can do it, Sweetheart. I'm sure that I can do it now. 705 01:24:59.441 --> 01:25:01.955 Yes, but I can't. 706 01:25:27.561 --> 01:25:30.394 It's the last one. You first... 707 01:25:57.201 --> 01:26:04.239 - Didn't you promise to give him a higher post? - He can't get much higher. 708 01:26:20.321 --> 01:26:21.993 Silence! 709 01:26:23.801 --> 01:26:26.838 Krab... Krab... Krabbesø! 710 01:26:27.641 --> 01:26:30.474 Rektor Primus! 711 01:26:31.401 --> 01:26:33.135 Non plus ult... 712 01:26:34.370 --> 01:26:35.310 ... ultra! 713 01:27:23.100 --> 01:27:27.472 New times have come to an old school. 714 01:27:27.601 --> 01:27:31.310 We gather here to usher in a new term. 715 01:27:31.481 --> 01:27:35.952 The first term in the history of the old Krabbesögård scholars' school ... 716 01:27:36.810 --> 01:27:41.439 ... in which boys and girls go hand-in-hand, absorbing their lessons ... 717 01:27:41.561 --> 01:27:45.440 ... and culture in the fullness ... 718 01:27:45.601 --> 01:27:49.116 ... of their equality and intellect. 719 01:27:51.881 --> 01:27:54.873 This day is first and foremost a triumph ... 720 01:27:55.100 --> 01:27:57.879 ... for our dear young Headmaster, ... 721 01:27:58.481 --> 01:28:01.712 ... who, despite opposition, stood firm, ... 722 01:28:01.841 --> 01:28:06.390 ... and stuck something between... between her legs ... 723 01:28:07.161 --> 01:28:11.120 ... who didn't turn tail when he might have. 724 01:28:13.241 --> 01:28:20.635 Modesty forbids the Headmaster and his wife from receiving the tribute they deserve. 725 01:28:21.410 --> 01:28:24.636 We that remain, pledge ... 726 01:28:24.761 --> 01:28:31.750 ... together with me, to protect our girls... our women. 727 01:28:40.810 --> 01:28:43.118 Man wasn't created to be alone, ... 728 01:28:43.241 --> 01:28:45.960 ... as it says in the old scripture. 729 01:28:46.810 --> 01:28:51.500 And that is no less true for women. 730 01:28:52.321 --> 01:28:55.836 A school without girls is like a mop without a bucket, ... 731 01:28:55.961 --> 01:28:59.330 ... as it is written ... somewhere. 732 01:28:59.201 --> 01:29:02.289 This old school for boys comes to its inevitable end, ... 733 01:29:02.389 --> 01:29:05.893 .... proud of it's successful history. 734 01:29:23.201 --> 01:29:26.273 We can't live without girls ... 735 01:29:29.961 --> 01:29:32.634 ... if we're to enjoy all aspects of life, ... 736 01:29:36.561 --> 01:29:38.995 ... not just the cultural ones. 737 01:29:39.401 --> 01:29:41.232 1 minute, 24 seconds. 738 01:29:43.410 --> 01:29:46.636 We profess to be a group, ... 739 01:29:46.761 --> 01:29:50.710 ... a community of every sexes, ... 740 01:29:51.100 --> 01:29:54.676 ... with a communal pulpet, a bed under our own tables. 741 01:30:08.561 --> 01:30:10.995 Hurry up...! 742 01:30:14.481 --> 01:30:20.192 I appeal to the gentlemen, to your common sense, and to the ladies, ... 743 01:30:20.641 --> 01:30:22.677 ... to the ladies, then! 744 01:30:30.681 --> 01:30:34.959 You're getting spanked! Spanked by your daddy. 745 01:30:36.561 --> 01:30:41.589 The ancient poets rode their muses, like Pegasi into a battle to unite the sexes, ... 746 01:30:41.721 --> 01:30:46.220 ... in sickness and in health, in sexual intercourse, in mutual accord! 747 01:30:52.721 --> 01:30:55.990 Never forgetting wine, women and song! 748 01:30:58.241 --> 01:31:03.679 It's time to tear down the inequality in our midst, and wake up with one another! 749 01:31:13.961 --> 01:31:17.780 But now... But now, then... ! 750 01:31:35.281 --> 01:31:37.670 Sodom and Gomorrah! 64393

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