All language subtitles for MacGyver.S05E01.The.Legend.Of.The.Holy.Rose.(1).DVDRip.XviD-WAT-eng(2)

(newscaster)
LEADERS OF THE ECONOMIC
SUMMIT IN GENEVA

VOWED TO RATIFY
THE INTERIM AGREEMENT.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE WAR
AGAINST THE POWERFUL
DRUG LORDS OF COLOMBIA

HAS TAKEN A NEW
AND DANGEROUS DIRECTION.

NARCO-TERRORISM
HAS BEEN UNLEASHED

ON THE UNITED STATES SOIL

WITH THE SAME DEGREE
OF ARROGANCE

AS THE DECLARATION OF WAR

MADE BY THE MEDELLIN
COCAINE CARTEL LEADERS

AGAINST THE COLOMBIAN
GOVERNMENT LAST MONTH.

FONSICO ECHEVIRRIA, THE 1ST
OF THE 12 EXTRADITABLES

TO BE PLACED
IN U.S. CUSTODY,

AND DESCRIBED AS ONE OF
THE WORLD'S RICHEST MEN,

HAS RETALIATED.

10 DAYS AGO,

HIS MERCENARIES KIDNAPPED
A YOUNG AMERICAN JOURNALIST.

THEIR HOSTAGE,
ALEXANDER SHANNON,

SON OF UNITED STATES SENATOR,
TOM SHANNON.

YOUNG SHANNON
IS THE JOURNALIST

WHO EXPOSED
THE INNER WORKINGS
OF THE MEDELLIN CARTEL

IN A MAJOR BOOK
PUBLISHED LAST YEAR.

SOURCES INDICATE THAT
THE CARTEL HAS DEMANDED

ECHEVIRRIA BE RELEASED

WITH SAFE CONDUCT
BACK TO COLOMBIA

IN EXCHANGE
FOR SHANNON'S LIFE.

AUTHORITIES, HOWEVER,
REFUSE COMMENT,

ONLY TO STATE THAT ECHEVIRRIA
WILL NOT BE RELEASED

UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

ON WALL STREET TODAY,
THE FINANCIAL--

[helicopter whirring]

[people chattering]

YOU ARE NEGLECTING YOUR WORK,
MR. SHANNON.

AND SO LONG AS
YOU ARE MY GUEST,

?
YOU WILL EARN
YOUR KEEP, YES

DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP,
MR. SHANNON.

IT SEEMS NO ONE
IN YOUR COUNTRY
WANTS YOU BACK.

[speaking Spanish]

[all grunting]

[men chattering]

SO, ESCOBAR, HOW DO YOU LIKE
RUNNIN' A PRISON CAMP

ALONG WITH
YOUR CONSTRUCTION BUSINESS?

AH, THE BOSSES KNOW
THAT I PICK
THE MOST SECURE SITES

FOR THEIR COCAINE
LABORATORIES.

E
WHY SHOULDN'T THEY TRUST M

TO KEEP
THEIR PRISONER OF WAR, EH?

[men chattering]

[speaking Spanish]

SO I TOLD MY WIFE,
MAYBE SOMEDAY

I'LL BRING A GOOD WOMAN
UP HERE FOR YOU TO SOAK WITH
IN THE HOT TUB.

WHAT HOT TUB?

THE ONE THAT
I BROUGHT UP IN THE NET.

OVER THERE.

I DON'T ORDER
NO STINKING HOT TUB.

[speaking Spanish]

.
COME ON. LET'S OPEN IT

(Escobar)
IT'S STUPID.

WHY WOULD ANYBODY
SEND ME A HOT TUB?

MAYBE THE BOSSES
THOUGHT IT WOULD
KEEP YOU HAPPY.

I THINK THE BOSSES
SPEND TOO MUCH TIM
E IN CALIFORNIA.

ALEXANDER SHANNON?

NAME'S MACGYVER.

AMERICAN?

PROUD OF IT.

I CAME TO GET YOU
OUT OF HERE.

YOU D.E.A.?

.
NO, PHOENIX FOUNDATION

WE FIND WE DON'T
HAVE TO CUT THROUGH
AS MUCH RED TAPE

TO DO THIS SORT OF THING.

I'LL MEET YOU
BEHIND THE STORAGE AREA.

UH, LOOK,
DON'T THINK ME UNGRATEFUL,
BUT WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?

I BROUGHT CLIMBING EQUIPMENT,
EVERYTHING WE NEED
TO GET OFF THE MOUNTAIN.

.
THEN WE TAKE
A LITTLE BOAT RIDE

I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
YOUR PLAN?

I TRIED IT LAST WEEK

WITHOUT THE CLIMBING
EQUIPMENT.

[objects rustling]

[groans]

GREAT.

YOU GOT ANY OTHER IDEAS?

YEAH, THE CHOPPER.
IT'S ALL THERE IS.

WE GOT TO GET TO IT.

[helicopter blades whirring]

I GUESS WE'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER 10 DAYS.

I DON'T THINK
YOU OR MY MAKEUP
WILL LAST THAT LONG.

OK.

NEW PLAN.

WHERE CAN I GET
4 OR 5 HOURS OF PRIVACY?

LUNCH IS OVER. THE MESS HALL.

OK.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO HELP ME ON THIS.

I NEED A BUNCH OF PLASTIC.

UH, SOMETHING LIKE,
UH, GARBAGE BAGS.

HEAVY-DUTY KIND.

HEAVY-DUTY GARBAGE BAGS?

,
YEAH. AND THIS
BAMBOO SCAFFOLDING

ABOUT 100 FEET SHOULD DO IT.

CAN WE DISCUSS THIS?

NO.

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

RIGHT NOW, YOU'VE GOT
TO FIND AN EXCUSE

TO ASSEMBLE THE SCAFFOLDIN
G UNDER THAT LEAN-TO.

CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?

.
I THINK SO

GOOD.

OH, AND DUCT TAPE.

I'LL NEED
LOTS OF DUCT TAPE.

DUCT TAPE?

HEY, YOU! YOU, SHANNON!

WHERE ARE YOU GOIN
G WITH THAT BAMBOO?

UH, I THOUGHT I'D MOVE
INTO THE SHADE, MR. ESCOBAR.

THAT WAY I'LL WORK FASTER.

(Escobar)
ALL RIGHT. BE SURE YOU DO.

[metallic squeaking]

[grunting]

A CEMENT MIXER?

[grunts]

MACGYVER.

GARBAGE BAGS.
MORE DUCT TAPE.

LOTS OF DUCT TAPE.

YOU'RE DOING GOOD.

HOW YOU HOLDIN' UP?

FINE.
THAT'S GOOD.

'CAUSE NOW I NEED YOU
TO BUILD ME 5 BASIC FRAMES.

2 OF 'EM, 20 BY 5,
1, 9 BY 2,

AND 2, 9 BY 6.

SLIP 'EM UNDER THE TENT FLAP
AS YOU FINISH 'EM.

OH! AND ANOTHER TIRE.

UH, ONE OF THE WHEELBARROW
S OUGHT TO DO IT.

[bolt unscrewing]

(Shannon)
OH, MY GOD.

I JUST FIGURED OUT
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY!

GIVE ME A FEW HOURS,
YOU'LL KNOW FOR SURE.

[grunting]

I'VE GOT ONE SECTION LEFT.

[speaking Spanish]

[mixer whirring]

I HAVE A HUNCH
WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE COMPANY.

WE'LL MAKE IT.
JUST ONE MINUTE.
WE'LL MAKE IT.

WE DON'T HAVE A MINUTE
. THEY'RE COMING.

HOLD THEM OFF.

[engine sputtering]

[men chatter]

[speaks Spanish]

[engine sputters]

[engine starting]

GET IN HERE! LET'S GO!

BUCKLE UP!

[yelling]

IT'LL NEVER FLY!

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

[guns firing]

[engine revving]

IT FLIES.

IT REALLY FLIES!

OF COURSE!

HOME, SWEET HOME,
SWEET HOME.

[chuckling]

YEAH.

AND ANOTHER ONE BEHIND US.

MACGYVER, I THANK YOU.

AND THE SHANNON FAMILY
THANKS YOU.

YEAH.

PETE,

YOU WANT TO TAP INTO
SOME OF YOUR OTHER AGENTS

FOR THE NEXT MONTH OR 2?

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE
A VERY LONG NAP.

DONE.

OH, UH, ONE THING.

THE MEDELLIN CARTEL
IS NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT

THIS GREAT ESCAPE OF YOURS,
SO, UH, WATCH YOURSELF, OK?

GOOD NIGHT, PETE.

GOOD NIGHT.

WANT TO HIT THE LIGHT?

YEAH, HIT THE LIGHTS.

[remote clicks]

[T.V. chattering]

[wood creaking]

HELLO? HELLO, MACGYVER!

REMEMBER ME, MACGYVER?

IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

THINK.
MISSION CITY, MINNESOTA.

YOU WERE A SENIOR
IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I WAS IN 7TH GRADE.

WE LIVED NEXT DOOR
TO EACH OTHER.

ZOE?

ZOE RYAN?

I'M GLAD THAT
THE COLOMBIAN RESCUE
I READ ABOUT

DIDN'T COMPLETELY
SOFTEN YOUR BRAIN.

YOU DID THIS?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DON'T THINK
THE WEAKER SEX

IS UP TO A TASK
THIS FORMIDABLE?

YOU DID! YOU DID THIS!

DO YOU REMEMBER
WHAT JACK DALTON
ALWAYS USED TO SAY

WHEN WE WERE KIDS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

"IF YOU WANT MACGYVER'S HELP,

FIRST YOU HAVE TO GET
HIS FULL AND UNDIVIDED
ATTENTION."

I THINK I DID IT.
DON'T YOU?

YOU'VE LOST IT, ZOE.

YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF IT.

AND YOU HAVEN'T
CHANGED A BIT.

YOU ALWAYS USED TO SAY
STUFF LIKE THAT TO ME.

.
THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU WERE ALWAYS A PEST

LIKE NOW.

WELL, DOES THIS MEAN
YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP ME?

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, I'M GOING THEN.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN,
MACGYVER.

[motor whirring]
NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT
. HOLD IT. JUST HOLD IT.

[motor stops]

WHAT?

GIVE ME THE ROPE.

DOES THIS MEAN
YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME?

.
IT DEPENDS ON
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO

WELL, IT'S NOT ILLEGAL
OR ANYTHING, IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

HEY, DID I TELL YOU
THAT I GOT PROMOTED?

YOU ARE NOW LOOKING

AT A FULL ASSOCIATE
PROFESSOR IN ARCHAEOLOGY.

CONGRATULATIONS. IT DOESN'
T ANSWER MY QUESTION.

OH, WELL, I FOUND
THIS GREAT LEAD IN GREECE.

IT'S AN ARTIFACT
THAT'S INCREDIBLE,

AND THESE GUYS WANTED
TO PUT UP A GRANT,

BUT THEY DON'T ANYMORE
BECAUSE I CAUGHT ON
THEY WERE PLAYING GAMES.

AND, ANYWAY,
THE DEAN SHUT DOWN
THE WHOLE PROJECT,

AND I DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF MONEY TO PLAY WITH.

YOU'D THINK THE FACULTY
WOULD PITCH IN,

BUT THOSE IDIOTS THINK
I'M GOING OFF THE DEEP END,

JUST BECAUSE I DARED TO ASK
A FEW TOO MANY PICKY QUESTIONS

ZOE...
ABOUT THEIR 50 YEARS
OF PRECIOUS RESEARCH.

WHICH I THINK IS
THE MOST UNMITIGATED,

ZOE...
NARROW MINDED,
MALE DOMINATED,

.
MYOPIC BUNCH OF--
HEY! SLOW DOWN

ZOE, WILL YOU HOLD IT?

WHAT?

JUST TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO.

HELP ME FIND THE HOLY GRAIL.

INDIANA JONES
ALREADY DID THAT.

I SAW THE MOVIE.
MACGYVER, BE SERIOUS.

YOU BE SERIOUS.

I AM.

HERE WE ARE.

(MacGyver)
TERRIFIC.
YOU BET, TERRIFIC.

WHEN I SHOW YOU WHAT I HAV
E AND WHAT WE'RE AFTER,

YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME
A THOUSAND TIMES OVER

FOR PROVIDING
THIS OPPORTUNITY.

YEAH, I'M SURE
.
(Grogan)
RYAN!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

ANOTHER FAN?

BULL GROGAN.
HE'S A FASCIST PIG.

HI, COACH.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I WANT YOU
TO SEE SOMETHIN'.

THIS IS MY FRIEND,
MACGYVER.

FOLLOW ME!

WHY DO I GET THE FEELING
THAT BEING YOUR FRIEND

?
COULD BE DANGEROUS

LOOK. JUST LOOK AT THAT!

(Zoe)
THOSE ARE MY STUDENTS. SO?

(Grogan)
"SO"? WHAT "SO"?

THAT'S MY FOOTBALL FIELD
AND THERE'S A GAME
TOMORROW NIGHT.

AND THAT FIELD
USED TO BE AN INDIAN VILLAGE
ABOUT 200 YEARS AGO.

LISTEN, COACH.

YOUR DEPARTMENT HAS ABOUT
A HUNDRED ZILLION DOLLARS.

MINE IS ALMOST BROKE.
NOW WHAT'S THE MORE IMPORTANT
CONTRIBUTION HERE?

A BUNCH OF YOUR NEANDERTHALS
CRUSHING BONES
EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT

SO THAT THE MALE EGO CAN
GO ON ANOTHER FEEDING FRENZY,

OR MY STUDENTS GETTING
THEIR YOUNG MINDS NOURISHED,

LEARNING TO DRAW ON THE PAST

SO THAT MAYBE WE CAN DEVELOP
A MORE HUMANE FUTURE.

IT'S NOT A BAD QUESTION.

THEY HAD BETTER
BE OUT OF THERE

AND THAT FIELD
BACK TO PLAYING CONDITION
BEFORE SATURDAY'S GAME,

OR YOUR DEPARTMENT'S
NOT ONLY GONNA BE BROKE,

IT'S GONNA BE ANNIHILATED!

GOSH, HE BUGS ME.

SOMETIMES,
I THINK THE WHOLE FACULTY
IS AGAINST ME.

.
WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE
ANY DOUBTS ABOUT THE COACH

WELL, THEY'LL SEE.

JUST WAIT TILL
I PROVE IT TO 'EM.

JUST WAIT TILL YOU AND I
COME UP WITH THE EVIDENCE.

THIS, UH, HOLY GRAIL?

YEAH, WHAT I'M ABOUT
TO SHOW YOU, MR. MACGYVER,

IS GOING TO
KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF.

UGH!

(Zoe)
STOP HIM! STOP HIM!

DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!

WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM?

WAS HE CARRYING ANYTHING?

MY GOD,
I HOPE HE DIDN'T FIND IT.

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
LET IT BE HERE.

[rustling]

WHO WAS THAT GUY?

I CAN'T PROVE IT,

BUT PROBABLY
ONE OF VON LEER'S GOONS.

WHOSE GOONS?

YOU KNOW, ERICH VON LEER.
THAT FAT CAT
FROM SOUTH AFRICA

WHO DARN NEAR CONTROLS
THE WORLD MARKET
IN PRECIOUS STONES.

AND A WORLD CLASS THIEF,
IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.

WELL, WHY WOULD THIS
VON LEER BE SO INTERESTED IN

WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

IT'S KIND OF COMPLICATED.

ZOE, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU
IS COMPLICATED. TRY ME.

WELL, VON LEER PUT UP A GRANT
FOR MY LAST EXPEDITION.

ONLY I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS VON LEER.

THE SCHOOL RAN THE MONEY
THROUGH A DEPARTMENT ACCOUNT,
YOU KNOW?

YEAH.
SO, THE SECOND I GOT BACK
FROM GREECE WITH MY FIND,

VON LEER WAS BANGING
ON THE DEAN'S DOOR

TRYING TO PUT UP
ANOTHER GRANT TO FINANCE
THE FOLLOW-UP EXPEDITION.

YEAH.
ONLY THIS TIME I FIND OUT

.
THAT VON LEER HAS
HIS FINGERS IN THE POT

SO, I TOLD 'EM ALL
TO KISS OFF AND DIE,

'CAUSE WITH THEIR MONEY
COMES THEIR CONTROL,
YOU KNOW?

SO, THE DEAN WENT NUTS.

PULLED THE PLUG
ON THE WHOLE PROJECT.

THAT'S WHY I GOT YOU
TO VOLUNTEER
FOR THE MISSION.

NOW, THEY'RE TRYING
TO STEAL THE ARTIFACT.

I GOT IT!

HE DIDN'T FIND IT.

I GOT IT.

LOOK, I GOT IT. IT'S SAFE.

THAT'S SWELL.

MACGYVER.

MACGYVER!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
HOME.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
NO.

BUT, I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

AND SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO
SET ME ADRIFT AT SEA
ONCE AGAIN,

SO BE IT.

I'LL STILL BE
A LOT BETTER OFF
THAN I AM RIGHT NOW.

THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA
HELP ME FIND THE HOLY GRAIL?
THAT'S RIGHT.

BUT YOU HAVE TO.
I DON'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE.

ZOE, IS IT ANY WONDER?

DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
THAT YOU OPERATE ABOUT
15 DEGREES OFF CENTER?

I'M MISUNDERSTOOD SOMETIMES.
THAT'S ALL.

I DON'T THINK
THE COACH MISUNDERSTOOD
HIS FOOTBALL FIELD.

I, FOR SURE,
DID NOT MISUNDERSTAND

MY HOUSEBOAT ENDING UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAY,

OR THE WAY MY JAW FEELS
AT THIS MOMENT.

OVER A SOUVENIR PILLOW!

COME ON!
THIS?

[laughing]
IT'S NOT THIS. LOOK.

LOOK HERE.

.
THIS IS DIANA'S MIRROR

,
IT WAS MADE BY AMBROSE

ONE OF THE 12TH CENTURY'S
GREATEST ALCHEMISTS.

LOOK AT IT
.
I'M NOT INTERESTED.

BUT IT HOLDS
THE KEY TO A SECRET
THAT'S OVER 800 YEARS OLD.

.
AMBROSE'S SECRET. LOOK

I AM ABSOLUTELY
NOT INTERESTED.

A SECRET
THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK COULD
SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD,
MACGYVER, WHY DON'T YO
U JUST LOOK AT IT?

I AM

NOT...

HE IS COMING,
MR. VON LEER.

DIANA'S MIRROR.

WHERE IS IT?

I DIDN'T FIND IT.
THEY CAME IN ON ME.

THEY?

THE PROFESSOR AND--AND
SOME GUY SHE WAS WITH.

I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE.

BUT THEY SAW YOU.

OH, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
I DON'T THINK
THEY CAN I.D. ME.

YOU DON'T THINK.

WITH ALL THAT'S AT RISK,
YOU'RE ENTIRELY TOO CASUAL
, MR. AHRIMAN.

CASUAL? WHEN SHE FOUND
THAT GOLD MIRROR IN GREECE,

I STARTED BELIEVING
ALL THAT LEGEND JIVE.

ABOUT A GIANT RUBY
AND A HIDDEN TEMPLE

AND A BILLION OR SO
IN PRECIOUS STONES, SO,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT ME, MR. VON LEER,
I'VE GOT THE BIG PICTURE.

,
SHIMA THINKS
THERE'S MUCH MORE
THAN JUST TREASURE AT RISK

DON'T YOU, SHIMA?

YOU MEAN, ALL THIS HOCUS POCUS
ABOUT THE GRAIL

AND, UH, FINDING THE ELIXIR
OF ETERNAL LIFE?

WELL, I AIN'T GONE
QUITE THAT FAR OVERBOARD.

NOW, DON'T TELL ME
YOU BUY INTO
SHIMA'S MUMBO JUMBO.

DO YOU?

I LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

IF SHIMA'S CORRECT,
WE'LL ALL HAVE
A GREAT DEAL MORE TIME

TO ENJOY THE PROCEEDS
FROM THE TREASURES

?
OF THE TEMPLE
OF THE HOLY ROSE, WON'T WE

YEAH, WELL,
I'LL BE MORE THAN HAPPY

TO SPEND MY CUT
AS A MERE MORTAL.

I DON'T THINK
YOU'LL HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY,
MR. AHRIMAN.

SHIMA.

WELL, NOW WE MUST
ATTEND TO THE PROFESSOR
AND HER NEW FRIEND.

SO WITH THE HELP
OF THE AMBROSE LEGEND,

I TRACKED DIANA'S MIRROR
THROUGH 13 DIGS.

.
4 YEARS IT TOOK ME

,
I FOUND IT
IN AN OTTOMAN RUIN

SO, NOW I WANT TO FIND
THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY ROSE,

WHERE AMBROSE HID

.
ALL OF THE ARTIFACTS
OF DIANA AND THE GRAIL

THE STUFF
NEOLITHIC SOCIETIE
S WORSHIP.

BECAUSE WHEN I DO,
WHEN WE DO,

WE'LL PROVE THAT SOCIETY
TOOK A WRONG TURN
ABOUT 5000 YEARS AGO.

E
WE'LL PROVE
THAT THE HUMAN RAC

USED TO GET ALONG
WITH ONE ANOTHER.

ZOE--
THAT MEN AND WOMEN
LIVED AS EQUALS,

AND PEOPLE,
PEOPLE WERE LOVING
AND NURTURING,

AND HAD A REVERENC
E FOR NATURE.

ZOE, SLOW DOWN.
THEY DIDN'T DESTRO
Y THEIR ENVIRONMENT,

BUT CARED FOR IT.

.
AND MOST IMPORTANT,
THEY LIVED WITHOUT WAR

OK, BUT--
AND IF THE HUMAN RACE

CAN LIVE IN PEACE ONCE
, THEY CAN DO IT AGAIN.

DON'T YOU SEE?
IF WE CAN PROVE

THAT WE'RE NOT DESTINE
D TO HURT AND PERSECUTE
EACH OTHER,

MAYBE WE CAN
GET BACK ON TRACK

BEFORE WE ANNIHILATE
OURSELVES.

OK!

[exhales]

BUT WHAT HAS ALL THAT
GOT TO DO WITH THIS?

I TOLD YOU.

DIANA'S MIRROR IS THE KEY
TO FINDING THE TEMPLE.

NO, YOU HAVEN'T
TOLD ME ANYTHING.

WHAT TEMPLE?

I BELIEVE ZOE IS SPEAKING OF
THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY ROSE.

IT'S THE RESTING PLACE
OF THE CAULDRON
OF REGENERATION,

OTHERWISE KNOWN
AS THE HOLY GRAIL,

RELATED TO
THE GODDESS DIANA.

THANK YOU.

PROFESSOR WYCLIFF, HI.

THIS IS MY FRIEND,
MACGYVER.

OH, YES, THE MAN YOU SAID
YOU WERE GOING TO RECRUIT

TO HELP WITH
YOUR FOLLOW-UP EXPEDITION.

THAT ESCAPE OF YOURS
IN COLOMBIA

WAS VERY INTERESTING READING,
MR. MACGYVER.

WELL, PARDON ME
IF I SEEM RUDE, PROFESSOR,

BUT I'M NOT REAL SURE
I'M GOING ANYWHERE.

.
NOT UNTIL I KNOW
WHERE AND WHAT FOR

AND I DON'T.

YOU DON'T?

I'M AFRAID
IN PROFESSOR RYAN'S ZEAL,

TO CHANGE THE DIRECTION
OF ARCHEOLOGY,

OR SOCIETY, FOR THAT MATTER,

SHE DOES ASSUME
A LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE
ONE DOES NOT YET POSSESS.

PERHAPS THE TWO OF US CAN, UH,
HELP FILL IN THE BLANKS?

(Wycliff)
THE VAULT HERE

IS ENVIRONMENTALLY CONTROLLED

TO PRESERVE THESE RARE
ILLUMINATED MANUSCRIPTS.

AH, HERE WE ARE.
THE STORY OF AMBROSE.

THE LEGEND GOES ON TO SAY

THAT THE GREAT ALCHEMIST
AMBROSE

S
PROTECTED THE ARTIFACT

AND THE GRAIL
OF ALL THE FEMALE DEITIES

FROM DESTRUCTION
BY THE CHURCH,

BY BUILDING A SECRET TEMPLE.

THERE WE ARE.

BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?

THE STORY OF AMBROSE.

T
THE TEMPLE HE BUIL

IS SUPPOSEDLY
100 FATHOMS IN DIAMETER,

SURROUNDED BY 72 CHAPELS

MADE OF BLUE SAPPHIRES
AND EMERALDS,

AND IN THE CENTER
OF THE BUILDING,
UNDER THE DOME,

IS WHERE
THE HOLY VESSEL IS KEPT.

THE CAULDRON OF REGENERATION.

AND YOU REALLY THINK
THIS TEMPLE AMBROSE BUILT
REALLY EXISTS, HUH?

UNTIL ZOE FOUND
DIANA'S MIRROR,

,
SUPPOSEDLY WROUGHT
BY AMBROSE HIMSELF

I WAS PREPARED TO RELEGATE
THE STORIES OF THE BARDS
TO MYTH AND LEGEND,

BUT, NOW...

NOW, WE HAVE THE FIRST PIECE
OF THE AMBROSE PUZZLE.

THE FIRST PIECE?

S
THE LEGEND HOLDS
AMBROSE CREATED 3 ARTIFACT

,
TO SYMBOLIZE
THE MOTHER GODDESS

AND DISPERSED THEM
ACROSS EUROPE.

AND YOU GOT TO HAVE
ALL 3 TOGETHER

TO POINT THE WAY
TO THE TEMPLE.

,
(Wycliff)
DIANA'S MIRROR

THE SCEPTER
OF THE TRIPLE DEITY,

AND THE HOLY ROSE ITSELF.

THAT'S WHY VON LEER WAS SO HOT
TO PUT UP ANOTHER GRANT.

SO WE COULD LEAD HIM
RIGHT TO THE BOOTY.

WELL, VON LEER AND HIS GRANTS
ARE BEHIND US NOW.

I DON'T THINK SO.
SOMEONE WAS JUST IN MY OFFICE.

I'M POSITIVE THEY WERE TRYING
TO STEAL THE MIRROR.

OH?
AND MY MONEY SAYS
VON LEER IS BEHIND IT.

IF HE FINDS THE TEMPLE FIRST,
EVERYTHING THAT CAN
TURN A BUCK FOR HIM

WILL BE MELTED DOWN,
CHOPPED UP, RESET AND SOLD

BEFORE ONE SCHOLAR
GETS A LOOK AT IT.

AND WE CAN'T
LET THAT HAPPEN.

FINDING DIANA'S TEMPLE
AND ALL OF THE ARTIFACTS

COULD START
A SCHOLASTIC REVOLUTION.

ZOE--
TURN A WHOLE SCHOOL

OF FUZZY ACADEMIC THINKING
COMPLETELY AROUND.

ARE YOU DONE?

THAT'S MY DREAM. TO DO THAT.

YOU HAVE DIANA'S MIRROR.

WHERE DOES IT POINT?

.
TO THE SCEPTER

BUT, I'M AFRAID
PROFESSOR RYAN IS STIL
L TRYING TO WORK OUT

THE PROBLEM OF WHERE
IT MAY BE LOCATED.

NO MORE.
I FIGURED IT OUT LAST NIGHT.

ACCORDING TO THE GREAT
ALCHEMIST HIMSELF,

IT'S IN THE ABBEY
OF SAINT ACERINUS.

HE SAYS, AND I QUOTE,

"ET IBI ALIQUANDO
SESE EXORCIZA

TU DAEMON FOEDE."

"AND ONCE THERE,
EXORCISE THEE,
THOU UNCLEAN SPIRIT."

I'VE HEARD A PHRASE
LIKE THAT BEFORE.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
I DON'T HAVE A CLUE.

BUT, WE'LL FIND OUT
WHEN WE GET THERE.

WHERE IS THERE?

LONDON.

LONDON.

AN 800 YEAR OLD ABBEY
IN THE MIDDLE OF ENGLAND?

CHANCES ARE IT'S NOT EVEN
STANDING ANYMORE.

THEN WE'LL DIG.

I'M NOT THAT GOOD
WITH A SHOVEL.

COME ON, MACGYVER,
I NEED YOU.

WHY? WHY ME?

BECAUSE WHEN I THINK
OF ALL THE BRILLIANT THING
S THAT AMBROSE DID

TO PROTECT
WHAT WAS GOOD AND DECENT,

HE REMINDS ME OF YOU.

SO WHAT BETTER PERSON
TO HELP SOLVE HIS MYSTERY?

THAT'S QUITE A COMPLIMENT,
MR. MACGYVER.

OR QUITE A SNOW JOB.

WHAT DO YOU SAY? WILL YOU GO?

[parking brake ratchets]

YOUR AMBROSE
WAS QUITE A GUY.

OH, THANK YOU.

RYAN AND MACGYVER.
JUST GRAB OUR BAGS.

WE'RE GONNA BE BACK
TO CHECK IN LATER.

LATER? WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT LATER?

I WAS THINKING
OF TAKING A SHOWER,
GRABBING SOMETHING TO EAT,

FRESHENING UP
A LITTLE BIT.

S
MACGYVER,
THE FIND OF A LIFETIME
IS OUT THERE WAITING FOR U

AND YOU WANT TO DING AROUN
D WITH PERSONAL COMFORTS?

IT'S BEEN WAITING 800 YEARS.
I DON'T THINK ANOTHER DAY
IS GONNA MATTER.

A DAY? YOU WANT TO WAIT
UNTIL TOMORROW?

I ALREADY CAN'T EAT,
THINKING ABOUT IT.

I WOULD NOT SLEEP A WINK
IF I HAD TO WAIT
UNTIL TOMORROW.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
RUIN MY HEALTH?

ME RUIN YOUR HEALTH?

FORGIVE ME, MATE,
BUT DO I KEEP THE METER
TICKING OR WHAT?

OH, ALL RIGHT.

DROP US AT THE ABBEY
OF SAINT ACERINUS.

YOU'RE THE GREATEST.

YEAH. ME AND AMBROSE.

[door shuts]

THERE'S NO ABBEY IN MY BOOK
CALLED ACERINUS.

ACERINUS.

IT'S SECTION 2, LOT 5,
PARCEL 16 IN CHELSEA.

DUCKY, DO I LOOK
LIKE A SURVEYOR?

OH, YEAH.

CORNER OF WHITTINGHAM
AND BELLOWS.

THINK YOU CAN FIND THAT?

[engine starts]

[creaks]

[coin clatters]

THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY.

MAKE SURE
THEY HAVE A PROPER GREETING.

WELL, I'LL BET YOU
OLD AMBROSE
NEVER EXPECTED THIS.

.
HEY, AT LEAST THE BUILDING
IS STILL STANDING. COME ON

HELLO?

(Eunice)
HELLO YOURSELF.

NO NEED TO HOLLER, DEARIE,
YOU'LL RAISE THE DEAD.

[laughing]

UM, HI. WE-- WE'D LIKE
A COUPLE OF TICKETS.

AND I'D LIKE TO OBLIGE
A HANDSOME BLOKE
SUCH AS YOURSELF,

BUT AS YOU CAN SEE,

JAMIE AND ME
ARE JUST IN THE PROCESS
OF CLOSING UP FOR THE DAY.

AREN'T WE, JAMIE?

.
IT'S ONLY 3:00

IT'S MONDAY, DEARIE.
AT 3:00 ON MONDAY,

JAMIE STANDS WATCH WHILE I GO
TO SEE ME HAIRDRESSERS.

YOU'LL HAVE TO
COME BACK TOMORROW, LOVE.

SHOOT.
UH, EUNICE,

HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOUR HAIRDRESSER.

FOR BEING LATE.

WELL, NOW,

ISN'T HE JUST THE SMOOTH ONE,
ALL RIGHT?

10 MINUTES. YOU HEAR?

10 MINUTES.
COME ALONG, JAMES.

[mimicking Eunice]
ISN'T HE JUST THE SMOOTH ONE
ALL RIGHT?

NOW THERE'S
A COMPREHENSIVE VISION

OF CHRISTIANITY'S
GORY HISTORY FOR YOU.

ANY IDEA OF HOW TO START
LOOKING FOR A SCEPTER IN HERE?

START THINKING LIKE
YOUR ANCIENT COUNTERPART.

?
HOW WOULD HE
HAVE HIDDEN IT

WHAT WAS THAT INSCRIPTION
ON DIANA'S MIRROR?

ITER NUNC FACE
AD ABBATIAM--

NOW, COME ON.

.
MY LATIN IS VERY RUSTY

"JOURNEY NOW TO
THE ABBEY OF ST. ACERINUS.

ONCE THERE, EXORCIZE THEE,
THOU UNCLEAN SPIRIT."

"EXORCIZE THEE,
THOU UNCLEAN SPIRIT."

.
I KNOW I'VE HEARD
THAT PHRASE BEFORE

[fingers snap]
THAT'S IT, OF COURSE.

THAT'S WHAT?
YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING?

MICHELE BORGES' NEW BABY.

UH, SHE AND HER HUSBAND, MIKE,
BOTH WORK AT
THE PHOENIX FOUNDATION.

WELL, TERRIFIC,
BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAV
E TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

I WENT TO THEIR BABY'S
BAPTISM LAST MONTH,

AND DURING THE CEREMONY,
THE PRIEST SAID
THE SAME THING.

"EXORCIZE THEE,
THOU UNCLEAN SPIRIT."

GET IT? WATER...

BAPTISM! BAPTISMAL!

YOU'RE RIGHT.
AND THERE SHOULD B
E ONE IN HERE.

.
PART OF
THE BUILDING STRUCTURE

FROM WHAT I CAN REMEMBER
OF 12TH CENTURY ARCHITECTURE,

THAT SHOULD BE IT.

TAKE THESE PANELS DOWN.

NO SCEPTER.

LOOK. LOOK HERE.

YEAH, AREN'T THESE MARKINGS
LIKE THE ONE ON THE MIRROR?

THE SAME.

[metal clinks]

THE POINTS FIT IN THE SLOTS.

[creaking]

HALLELUJAH, AMBROSE.

!
3 SCEPTERS

WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE.

[creaking]

MOTHER OF CREATURES,

LUNAR VIRGIN,

HUNTRESS.

NEXT STEP, THE HOLY ROSE.

I'M AFRAID YOU'RE IN
FOR A MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT
, DUCKY.

BUT I'LL GIVE YOUR BEST
TO ME HAIRDRESSER
ALL THE SAME.

.
(Eunice)
COME ON, MOVE OUT OF THERE

VON LEER.

YES, PROFESSOR.

.
YOU'VE MADE IT
QUITE DIFFICULT FOR US

YEAH,
SHE'S VERY GOOD AT THAT.

AND MACGYVER
OF THE PHOENIX FOUNDATION.

WE LOOKED YOU UP.

GOOD. GLAD TO HEAR IT.

.
IMPRESSIVE CREDENTIALS

IN FACT, I'VE DETERMINED
THAT YOU'RE FAR TOO DANGEROUS
TO HAVE AROUND,

SO I'VE HAD TO MAKE
A VERY DIFFICULT DECISION.

THE PROFESSOR
WILL ACCOMPANY ME

AND PROVIDE
THE APPROPRIATE
INTERPRETATIONS

TO THE SECRETS OF AMBROSE
SO WE MAY FIND THE TREASURE.

AND YOU WILL DIE.
SHIMA, SHOOT HIM.

(Zoe)
NO!

I SWEAR, YOU TOUCH HIM,
THESE SCEPTERS GET WIPED OUT.

YOU'LL NEVER FIND THE TEMPLE.

WELL,

.
LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GOT YOU
IN WHAT WE CALL A STANDOFF

YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

SHE MUST CARE
A GREAT DEAL FOR YOU,
MR. MACGYVER.

EUNICE, GET THE CAR READY.

YES, SIR.

MAMMON,
INTRODUCE MR. MACGYVER TO THE,
UH, SARCOPHAGUS, WOULD YOU?

[clicking]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

.
I'M GIVING YOU
THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE
A MORE CONSIDERED DECISION

[whooshing]

NOW, PROFESSOR,
I DO WISH YOU'D RECONSIDER
YOUR PREVIOUS THREAT.

YOU SEE,
AS THE WATER LEVEL
IN THIS TANK LOWERS,

IT FILLS THE SPOON,

WHICH THEN
TRIGGERS THE RATCHET

AND LOWERS THE BLADE.

ONE OF THE MORE
INGENIOUS DEVICES
OF THE INQUISITION,

WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

IN A MINUTE OR SO,
MR. MACGYVER WILL BEGI
N TO SUFFER TERRIBLY.

WHEN IT'S ALL OVER,
HE'LL BE HALF THE MAN HE WAS.

[blade whooshing]

YOU DIRTY, ROTTEN,
SIMPLE-MINDED EXCUSE
FOR A HUMAN BEING.

IF ONE HAIR ON HIS HEAD IS--

CONTROL YOURSELF!
YOU HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT
DECISION TO MAKE.

[whooshing]

ALL RIGHT! STOP IT!

A WISE DECISION.

HURRY UP, HURRY!

[creaking]

(Zoe)
COME ON. GET HIM OFF OF THERE.

[wood creaking]

[blade whooshing]

[creaking]

!
ESCORT HER TO THE CAR. NOW

WHAT ABOUT MACGYVER?

VON LEER!

[screaming]

(Zoe)
VON LEER!

(Zoe)
YOU...

YOU'RE VERY FORTUNATE
TO HAVE SUCH CARING FRIENDS,
MR. MACGYVER.

[creaking]

I'M SURE THAT YOUR EXPERTISE
WOULD BE VERY USEFUL

IN OUR QUEST FOR THE TEMPLE
OF THE HOLY ROSE,

BUT, UH,

AS I SAID BEFORE,
YOU'RE JUST TOO DANGEROUS.

INTRIGUING, ISN'T IT?

[wood creaking]

[metal clanking]