All language subtitles for Ghosts s01e02 Gorilla War.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian Download
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:09,575 (SIGHS) 2 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,659 _ 3 00:00:28,375 --> 00:00:29,575 (HEAVY BREATHING) 4 00:00:41,468 --> 00:00:42,675 (SIGHS WITH RELIEF) 5 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,000 (SHUFFLING) 6 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,085 (CREAKING) 7 00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:54,277 Agh! 8 00:00:58,056 --> 00:00:59,985 (SIGHS WITH RELIEF) 9 00:01:00,735 --> 00:01:01,676 - SHOUTS: - Testing! 10 00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:03,518 (BOTH GASP) 11 00:01:03,644 --> 00:01:05,644 (YELLS) 12 00:01:07,388 --> 00:01:11,179 Well, that seems pretty conclusive. She can also hear us. 13 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,468 (GROANING) 14 00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:33,380 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 15 00:01:33,506 --> 00:01:36,440 (SNORING) 16 00:01:39,894 --> 00:01:41,263 Clear! 17 00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:44,072 This room gonna get some DIY! 18 00:01:44,198 --> 00:01:45,720 - (SCREAMS) - DIY! 19 00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:47,848 What is this impudence?! 20 00:01:49,248 --> 00:01:51,957 This is my room, do you hear me? My room! 21 00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:55,915 What sort of heathen just barges in on a lady while she's sleeping? 22 00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,459 Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. 23 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:58,974 (SHOOTS DRILL) 24 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,920 What on earth is going on? 25 00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:03,263 Daddy gonna drill a hole in the wall... 26 00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:05,263 Daddy is not drilling any holes in any... 27 00:02:05,388 --> 00:02:07,979 (DRILLING) 28 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:09,887 This is beyond the pale! 29 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,397 No. What are you do...? 30 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:14,263 (DRILLING OVER SPEECH) 31 00:02:14,388 --> 00:02:15,825 (FANNY GASPS) 32 00:02:15,951 --> 00:02:19,263 Oh, you have got to be joking. 33 00:02:19,388 --> 00:02:22,143 - ALISON: - Mike! - Er... 34 00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:24,263 Oh! This looks fun! 35 00:02:24,388 --> 00:02:27,160 I'm going to call it the smile hole. 36 00:02:27,286 --> 00:02:30,646 - Hello, Lady Button! Morning! - ALISON: Mike! 37 00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:34,076 No, no, no! You can't just leave it like this. Where are you going? You can't just... 38 00:02:34,201 --> 00:02:36,985 So, what's your favourite morning song? I think mine is... 39 00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:41,265 There's a lark in the bushel at the corner of the... 40 00:02:43,187 --> 00:02:45,529 - ALISON: Mike! - Er... 41 00:02:45,779 --> 00:02:49,230 (GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE) 42 00:02:49,356 --> 00:02:50,664 - They're back! - Who? 43 00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,388 Them! 44 00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:55,544 - Er... - (SHRIEKS) 45 00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:59,062 Don't shriek, you ill-bred hen. It is unseemly for a lady to... 46 00:02:59,188 --> 00:03:00,128 (SHRIEKS) 47 00:03:00,254 --> 00:03:04,622 Him! Cover that up at once. You beastly wretch! 48 00:03:04,748 --> 00:03:09,133 I refuse to be taunted in my own home by that lying, cheating... 49 00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,304 - Ex-husband. You know how it is. - (WHIMPERS) 50 00:03:12,135 --> 00:03:14,664 - Oh, we're the same height! - Do you need a tea? 51 00:03:14,789 --> 00:03:16,313 Lady coming through! 52 00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:17,843 What's your favourite colour? 53 00:03:17,969 --> 00:03:21,976 (ALL TALK AT ONCE) 54 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,280 - Oh, I do wish they wouldn't do that! - Aly! 55 00:03:24,406 --> 00:03:27,713 There's a cave one and there's an Army one and there's one with no pants on... 56 00:03:27,838 --> 00:03:30,319 - And a first from Cambridge! - OK, OK. 57 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:33,671 I know it may seem very real, but remember what they said at the hospital, yeah? 58 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,752 "May experience visual disturbances." 59 00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:37,125 But I can hear them too. 60 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:40,402 And my Uncle Graeme, he thought he could smell toast, but you know what? There was no toast. 61 00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,235 He was having a stroke! He died, Mike. 62 00:03:43,361 --> 00:03:44,321 OK, bad example. 63 00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:46,783 I'm just saying, think about it, what's more likely, 64 00:03:46,909 --> 00:03:50,316 that you can see ghosts, or that you're still suffering from severe concussion? 65 00:03:50,441 --> 00:03:52,151 - Ghosts. - Concussion. 66 00:03:52,388 --> 00:03:54,263 - (GHOSTS SIGH) - Exactly. You don't just... 67 00:03:54,388 --> 00:03:56,237 Robin, you've been here a while. 68 00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:58,025 Have you ever seen anything like this before? 69 00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,896 One time, yes. But was a bear. 70 00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:03,916 Bear was like, "Raargh!" and I'm like, "Argh!" 71 00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:08,023 and then he like, "Ooh, hurr, hurr!" And I'm like... 72 00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,177 "Woo!" And the bear's like... 73 00:04:10,303 --> 00:04:11,838 (LAUGHS) 74 00:04:18,052 --> 00:04:19,297 You had to be there. 75 00:04:19,423 --> 00:04:20,928 - Rare, then. - Or magic? 76 00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:24,541 - Black magic. - Perhaps she's just special. 77 00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:25,954 Indeed she is. 78 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,790 And you'll be back to your old self in no time. 79 00:04:27,915 --> 00:04:29,849 - Just give it a few days, yeah? - OK. 80 00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,338 - OK? - Yep. 81 00:04:36,287 --> 00:04:38,634 So, Mike, what are you up to? 82 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,956 Well, I'm hooking up all the stuff that we can't live without. 83 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,978 - So like heating and hot water and... - TV. 84 00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:45,077 But the boiler's next on the list! 85 00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:47,486 - (CLATTERING) - After that. 86 00:04:47,619 --> 00:04:49,281 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 87 00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:51,905 No. But Google does, so we're golden. 88 00:04:52,031 --> 00:04:56,353 Wowee. That's quite the encyclopaedia. 89 00:04:56,479 --> 00:04:59,586 It's gotta be, what, two CD-ROMs, min. 90 00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:03,323 It's all under control here, so why don't you go and relax? 91 00:05:03,449 --> 00:05:06,186 Have yourself a nice war... tepid bath. 92 00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:08,199 - ALISON AND GHOST: I'd like that. - ALISON: Ohh! 93 00:05:08,324 --> 00:05:10,070 One of them just said what I said. 94 00:05:10,196 --> 00:05:13,580 See? It's all in your head. Just give it a few days, yeah? 95 00:05:13,706 --> 00:05:15,308 Now go on... Bath. 96 00:05:15,434 --> 00:05:17,434 (CLATTERING) 97 00:05:20,707 --> 00:05:22,396 Clearly, this changes things. 98 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,263 By some quirk of fate, it would seem 99 00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:27,017 - the new Lady Button... - She's no lady, and no Button. 100 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:30,440 Well, whoever she is, she can now both see and hear us, 101 00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:32,538 which opens up some intriguing possibilities... 102 00:05:32,663 --> 00:05:35,407 chiefly the potential for a full-frontal assault. 103 00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:37,359 Order them to leave. Face-to-face. 104 00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,826 Yes! 105 00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:44,643 Well, conversings with the dead be witchcraft. People been burned at the stake for less. 106 00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:47,991 Except of course she isn't truly conversing, is she? 107 00:05:48,117 --> 00:05:50,116 She may give ear to my overtures, 108 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:53,150 but, alas, she is yet to respond... to any of us. 109 00:05:53,276 --> 00:05:54,878 - She spoke to me. - What? 110 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,911 - What? No, she did not. - Did. Said... 111 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,435 Aaargh! 112 00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:00,309 - I don't think that's a word, Robin. - No. 113 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:03,398 'Tis. I had cousin, that's all he said. (DISTANT BANGING) 114 00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:06,660 She's not conversing because Mr Sledgehammer up there has convinced her 115 00:06:06,786 --> 00:06:08,982 we are just figments of her imagination, 116 00:06:09,108 --> 00:06:11,333 which is why we need a change of tactics. 117 00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:14,263 We work in shifts. Campaign of attrition. 118 00:06:14,388 --> 00:06:15,434 Guerrilla war. 119 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,496 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 120 00:06:16,622 --> 00:06:18,050 Gorilla always win. 121 00:06:18,176 --> 00:06:20,782 Why is it always about war with you? 122 00:06:20,908 --> 00:06:24,654 - Well... - What's wrong with a nice 'hello'? 123 00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,263 Maybe show them around. 124 00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:28,043 Then we could all sit down and have a nice friendly chat 125 00:06:28,168 --> 00:06:30,784 - about this whole hotel business. - It is nice to be friendly. 126 00:06:30,909 --> 00:06:33,851 - Ideally more than friendly. - Befriended by you lot? 127 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,065 I can't think of anything more annoying. In fact, you know what? 128 00:06:37,191 --> 00:06:39,402 Do that! Yeah, good plan. 129 00:06:39,528 --> 00:06:43,470 That'll send them running. Perhaps I should handle the negotiations. 130 00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:44,869 Huh? 131 00:06:44,995 --> 00:06:49,196 Well, I did, after all, resolve the Arabian crisis of '91. 132 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:52,648 - What, you stopped a war? - No, I stopped a crisis. 133 00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:56,144 By starting a war, as it happens, but, you know, that's not the point. 134 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:59,221 The point is, I was lead envoy in the negotiations. 135 00:06:59,347 --> 00:07:00,668 Utter toffee. 136 00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:03,427 You couldn't negotiate your way out of a corn maze. 137 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,403 How dare you! 138 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:09,192 I'm a respected politician and diplomat, 139 00:07:09,318 --> 00:07:11,467 and I will not have my credentials called into question 140 00:07:11,592 --> 00:07:14,320 by some work-shy Bohemian. 141 00:07:14,446 --> 00:07:16,796 That treaty was my legacy. 142 00:07:17,523 --> 00:07:19,260 (OTHERS LAUGH) 143 00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:21,735 Oh, yeah, oh, very, very funny. Fine! 144 00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:23,940 I'll prove it to you! Mmm. Yeah. 145 00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:26,006 Ho-ho! You'll see. 146 00:07:26,201 --> 00:07:28,201 (DISTANT BANGING) 147 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,512 Imagine that slammed! 148 00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:40,888 Daddy's gonna give it some DIY, DIY... 149 00:07:44,262 --> 00:07:46,471 Right. I'll show them. 150 00:07:48,190 --> 00:07:50,388 (STRAINS WITH EFFORT) 151 00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,096 (GASPS) 152 00:08:01,624 --> 00:08:02,913 That's better. 153 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:06,886 No, no, no, no, no, that's worse! This is awful! 154 00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,941 I shall write to the owners. 155 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,771 But where's my quill? 156 00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:14,358 Maybe I left it downstairs. 157 00:08:14,484 --> 00:08:15,833 Oh, brick it up, you oaf. 158 00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:18,953 I refuse to spend eternity in the company of a halfwit. 159 00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,107 - I thought we were friends! - Friends 160 00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,502 are peers and intellectual equals, Kitty. 161 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,565 - We are neither. - Fine! 162 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:28,427 Then I'm not letting you go in my canoe. 163 00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:29,928 I just... 164 00:08:30,054 --> 00:08:31,645 Right, then. 165 00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:33,609 Old boiler. 166 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,066 (STRAINS WITH EFFORT) 167 00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:42,191 This'll learn those berks. 168 00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:53,773 (FRUSTRATED YELL) 169 00:08:54,388 --> 00:08:56,388 (CREAKING) 170 00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:00,188 Hmm. 171 00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:03,605 (WATER DRIPS) 172 00:09:12,388 --> 00:09:14,127 (ELECTRICITY FIZZES) Huh. 173 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,263 There's nothing to be scared of. 174 00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:18,388 (GHOSTS MURMUR REASSURINGLY) 175 00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:23,728 Daddy gonna fix the boiler now... 176 00:09:24,876 --> 00:09:26,103 Hmm. 177 00:09:26,388 --> 00:09:29,840 YouTube gonna show Daddy how... 178 00:09:30,388 --> 00:09:32,086 - GHOSTS: - Ooh! 179 00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:41,157 (ERROR ALERT) 180 00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:44,018 Come on! 181 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,264 (ERROR ALERT) 182 00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:48,658 Ugh! 183 00:09:48,784 --> 00:09:50,262 Oh, it's not playing ball, is it? 184 00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:52,215 (GHOSTS MURMUR) 185 00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:55,664 - What's he doing? - Oh, no, Daddy. 186 00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:59,913 No, you need to prime the inlet pump, open the induction loop, 187 00:10:00,039 --> 00:10:03,263 repressurise the system, then connect the gas feed, 188 00:10:03,388 --> 00:10:06,020 - and then ignite the... - Or just hit it with a hammer. 189 00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:07,815 Unbelievable. 190 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,238 - Technophobe. - Yeah. 191 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,061 Right. It's going to take a sustained assault to grind her down, 192 00:10:13,187 --> 00:10:16,263 - so we'll take it in shifts. - I'll go first! We have a connection. 193 00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:17,838 A frisson, if you will. 194 00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:20,124 Maybe I should go first. Let her know the lay of the land. 195 00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:22,366 No. This is a military campaign, 196 00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:25,603 and I'm not the sort to bring up the rear. No, I'll go first. 197 00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:27,733 - Urgh! - And then you, Pat, 198 00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:29,263 and then Mary, and... 199 00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:31,448 Good heavens. What on Earth is that? 200 00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:35,263 Ah, now, that is the front bit of a television. 201 00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,352 I don't know where the back bit is, 202 00:10:37,478 --> 00:10:39,813 - but that's the front! - Extraordinary. 203 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,463 - Any luck with the boiler? - Nah, not really. 204 00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:46,263 It's in a pretty bad way. Looks like some idiot has taken a hammer to it. 205 00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:48,149 I'll have a look at it tomorrow. 206 00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:52,056 Connect this one to the one from the roof 207 00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,733 and we should... 208 00:10:53,859 --> 00:10:55,669 get a picture. 209 00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:59,689 Right. Over the top we go! 210 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,050 Now look here. 211 00:11:10,176 --> 00:11:13,264 - As a officer of His Majesty's Armed Forces... - (WHISTLES A TUNE) 212 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:16,674 it is my duty to inform you that you are considered an enemy insurgent 213 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,531 and you should surrender your territories to incumbent forces with immediate effect... 214 00:11:20,656 --> 00:11:22,913 or face the prospect... OK. 215 00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:25,989 - Very good. I see what you're doing. - La-la-la-la-la-la 216 00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:27,383 Two can play at that game! 217 00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:38,264 Ah! 218 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,783 I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've information vegeta... 219 00:11:45,197 --> 00:11:47,128 ...ble, animal and mineral 220 00:11:47,254 --> 00:11:49,539 I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical 221 00:11:49,664 --> 00:11:52,646 From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical! 222 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:56,165 (DOCUMENTARY BLARES) You can run, but you can't... 223 00:11:57,911 --> 00:11:59,473 Hello to you. 224 00:12:00,098 --> 00:12:02,263 Hello! And welcome! 225 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,100 On behalf of me and my fellow dead people, may I just say... 226 00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:08,718 Oh, straight onto the tour, OK! On your left is the Master's chamber, 227 00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,844 or "chambre", that's French. Wait! 228 00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:14,578 (DOCUMENTARY CONTINUES) You beautiful girl. 229 00:12:20,442 --> 00:12:22,571 (STRAINS WITH EFFORT) 230 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,077 _ 231 00:12:27,302 --> 00:12:28,520 Oh, no. 232 00:12:28,646 --> 00:12:30,262 _ 233 00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:33,003 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 234 00:12:33,221 --> 00:12:35,714 TV: Up next, Hitler's Secret Superweapons. 235 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:39,159 Oh, good Chr... I mean, it's Christmas, it's Christmas morning! 236 00:12:39,752 --> 00:12:41,036 Alison? 237 00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:43,588 Aly? 238 00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:47,440 What the bally hell do you think you're doing, sir? 239 00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:50,901 What have you done with the tanks? You turn that back on this instant... 240 00:12:52,073 --> 00:12:53,264 Where are you going? 241 00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:56,263 If you were dead, I would thrash your bottom, sir! 242 00:12:56,388 --> 00:12:58,531 And there's been a settlement on this site for well over... 243 00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:01,590 - A while now, although this part... - You're not real. 244 00:13:01,716 --> 00:13:03,951 - Well, we're not alive, but we are... - I can't hear you. 245 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,099 - Well, clearly you can, because... - No, I can't. 246 00:13:06,224 --> 00:13:09,264 - Well, it's just, you keep answering me... - No, I don't. 247 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:13,080 - My turn? - Sorry, Tom, Captain said that Mary's next. 248 00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:16,192 - Get out my way, you soppy bit o' rag. - Good luck. 249 00:13:16,318 --> 00:13:18,117 Although she's not much of a one for chitchat. 250 00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:22,657 Oh, don't you worries about me. I've got something up my sleeves. 251 00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:27,263 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 252 00:13:27,388 --> 00:13:29,893 get out, get out, get out, get out, 253 00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:31,386 get out, get out, get out... 254 00:13:37,388 --> 00:13:39,848 - Boo! - Oh, my...! 255 00:13:39,974 --> 00:13:42,088 - Boo! (CHUCKLES) - Classic. 256 00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:46,018 - Yes, to replace the boiler. - So it needs amending. My entry. 257 00:13:46,143 --> 00:13:48,397 - To reflect my political achievements. - What did you say, sorry? 258 00:13:48,522 --> 00:13:50,798 There's plenty who've done worse than I did, believe you me. 259 00:13:50,923 --> 00:13:53,625 - My phone number... - The MP for Watney got horses involved. 260 00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:55,397 - 0-7-9... - Yeah, that's plural! 261 00:13:55,522 --> 00:13:58,263 - Horses! It was the shire ones as well. - Sorry, 0-7... 262 00:13:58,396 --> 00:14:00,672 - You know, the ones with the flares? - Can I call you back? 263 00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,851 A lady employs a knife AND fork. 264 00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:07,285 A lady pinches. Whores use rouge. 265 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,496 A lady does not hold a carrot like that. 266 00:14:10,622 --> 00:14:11,999 (DOOR SLAMS) 267 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:15,763 A lady wouldn't tell me to do that to myself! (SQUEALS) 268 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,263 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 269 00:14:18,388 --> 00:14:19,913 get out, get out, get out, get out, 270 00:14:20,038 --> 00:14:22,263 - Get out, get out, get out, get - (SIGHS DEEPLY) 271 00:14:22,388 --> 00:14:24,473 - get out, get out, get out... - No better? 272 00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,617 get out, get out, get out, get out... 273 00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:29,025 Just give it till morning. I'm sure it'll pass. 274 00:14:29,151 --> 00:14:32,654 get out, get out, get out, get out. 275 00:14:33,323 --> 00:14:34,789 (CLOCK CHIMES) 276 00:14:37,981 --> 00:14:39,782 (SIGHS) 277 00:14:43,787 --> 00:14:45,263 I... 278 00:14:45,388 --> 00:14:47,435 am the very model of a modern Major-General 279 00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:50,263 I've information vegetable animal and mineral 280 00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:53,263 I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical 281 00:14:53,388 --> 00:14:57,263 From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical! 282 00:14:57,388 --> 00:14:59,126 (HUMS MELODY) 283 00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:10,177 Oh, God. 284 00:15:16,821 --> 00:15:17,830 Boo! 285 00:15:17,956 --> 00:15:21,029 - Agh! - I don't even feel the cold! 286 00:15:21,155 --> 00:15:22,567 (LAUGHS) 287 00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:25,107 - I am a strong, sane woman. - He'd crafted it from a rubber glove 288 00:15:25,232 --> 00:15:28,264 - and was using the gravy as lubricant. - Challenges only make me stronger. 289 00:15:28,389 --> 00:15:30,862 And you can imagine the jokes about "the Chancellor's red box". 290 00:15:30,987 --> 00:15:33,554 And then there was this Liberal fellow, well, you can imagine what he got up to. 291 00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:37,493 He was caught in a sailors' sauna, and he was not there to learn about boats. 292 00:15:38,388 --> 00:15:40,137 Get out, get out, get out, get out. 293 00:15:40,263 --> 00:15:41,629 - (SLAM!) - Get out! 294 00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:45,142 (SLAM!) 295 00:15:50,277 --> 00:15:52,276 - Oh! - Alone at last. 296 00:15:52,402 --> 00:15:53,602 (ALISON SCREAMS) 297 00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,682 - Alison! - Oh, God! 298 00:15:57,808 --> 00:16:00,304 - A moment, please, I beg of you. - You're in my head. 299 00:16:00,841 --> 00:16:02,906 And you in mine, my sweet! 300 00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:04,331 What are we doing? 301 00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:07,263 You're married, I'm dead. It can never work. 302 00:16:07,388 --> 00:16:09,056 Can it? Maybe it can. 303 00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:12,827 Like Romeo And Juliet, but specifically the bit where he's already dead 304 00:16:12,953 --> 00:16:15,263 and she kills herself to be with him? 305 00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:16,264 (GASPS IN PANIC) 306 00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:20,889 I am too bold. Forgive me. Accurse my impetuous loins! 307 00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:24,607 You're not yet free of that buffle-headed bobtail. 308 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,263 I'll wait for you, my comely nug. 309 00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:29,912 - Though some idea of timescale would be... - Oh! 310 00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:33,339 No, I understand, this is all happening so fast. 311 00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:35,171 I can wait! 312 00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:39,263 Lord knows I've had the practice. 313 00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:41,263 - (STRAINS WITH EFFORT) - Come on, man! 314 00:16:41,388 --> 00:16:43,834 - I'm trying! - (STRAINS WITH EFFORT) 315 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,397 - Well, try harder, man! - (ALISON GASPS) 316 00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:48,561 You! I demand you reactivate this device with immediate effect! 317 00:16:48,687 --> 00:16:50,952 - Any joy with the people from Goggle? - Me again! 318 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:54,068 Today I thought we could do halls and common passageways. 319 00:16:54,194 --> 00:16:56,397 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 320 00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:58,263 - Darling! There you are. - Ohh... 321 00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:00,798 - Now, I know I said no pressure, but... - None of it is real. 322 00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:02,263 None of it is real. 323 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,114 - A lady doesn't mumble. - Ohh! 324 00:17:05,388 --> 00:17:06,264 Boo! 325 00:17:06,389 --> 00:17:09,263 Don't suppose you've seen a body anywhere? 326 00:17:09,388 --> 00:17:10,588 Is that a no? 327 00:17:14,674 --> 00:17:16,869 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 328 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,418 (GIGGLING) 329 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,433 Will you be my friend? 330 00:17:24,036 --> 00:17:26,455 Agh! (ALL TALK AT ONCE) 331 00:17:30,456 --> 00:17:33,525 (YELLS WAR CRY) 332 00:17:34,652 --> 00:17:36,579 Do you think it's something we said? 333 00:17:37,737 --> 00:17:41,038 - And press the hilt of the venturi... - What is a venturi? 334 00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:44,061 - into the domed brass union. - What's a union?! 335 00:17:44,187 --> 00:17:46,682 (INSTRUCTIONS CONTINUE) (GHOSTS CHAT AMONGST THEMSELVES) 336 00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:50,464 Don't panic. It takes maybe ten, 20 seconds. 337 00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:52,072 Oh, that's good. 338 00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:54,360 - (RUMBLING AND HISSING) - Oh, that's bad. 339 00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:57,123 - ALISON: Mike! - Jesus, you scared me! 340 00:17:57,249 --> 00:18:00,523 It's no good, I need to go and get some... Holy Mary Mother of God! 341 00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:03,532 - Oh, my God. - What's wrong? 342 00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:06,263 "What's wrong"?! The room is full of zombies! 343 00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:08,092 Donkeys? 344 00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:09,664 Honey, I promise you it isn't. 345 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,531 Then I have to go back to the hospital and get some drugs 346 00:18:11,656 --> 00:18:13,554 or some therapy or a bang on the other side of my head, 347 00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:15,263 or whatever it takes to stop me from seeing the cast of 348 00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:17,263 The Night Of The Dead every single time I walk into a room! 349 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,912 It's Night Of The Living De... Not now. 350 00:18:20,038 --> 00:18:21,847 I can't go on like this, OK? 351 00:18:21,973 --> 00:18:24,798 So you either drive me to the hospital right now, or I drive myself. 352 00:18:24,923 --> 00:18:26,264 - WHISPERS: And I see things that aren't there! 353 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,646 Well, we are. I'll get my keys. 354 00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,395 Ohh. Red lever. 355 00:18:31,521 --> 00:18:33,263 (GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE) 356 00:18:33,388 --> 00:18:36,198 - Red lever! - Red lever! 357 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,798 - Red lever! - Red lever! 358 00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:39,323 (SCREAMS) 359 00:18:40,816 --> 00:18:42,263 What now? Aly?! 360 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:45,065 What's wrong? (CONTINUES TO SCREAM) 361 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,501 Red lever! 362 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:47,839 Red lever? 363 00:18:47,965 --> 00:18:49,264 (HISSING) 364 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,771 Oh! On it! 365 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,629 (HISSING STOPS) (GHOSTS CHEER) 366 00:18:57,872 --> 00:18:59,747 - (GHOSTS GROAN) - Oh, what? 367 00:19:00,192 --> 00:19:03,376 (CAR HORN BEEPS CONTINUOUSLY) 368 00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:09,766 - How did you know about the red...? - Maybe we should go. 369 00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,264 Yeah, yeah, we're going. 370 00:19:11,389 --> 00:19:13,263 No, no, no, I mean away from here. 371 00:19:13,388 --> 00:19:15,162 Just move out. It just doesn't feel right. 372 00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,962 What? Why would you say that? 373 00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:18,798 (GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE) 374 00:19:19,388 --> 00:19:20,605 It's hard to put my finger on. 375 00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:23,952 All right. Just one thing at a time, yeah? We'll talk about this later. 376 00:19:24,078 --> 00:19:25,825 Ooh! Electric windows! 377 00:19:25,951 --> 00:19:27,826 - Get out of here! - OK, OK! 378 00:19:28,513 --> 00:19:31,513 (GHOSTS ALL SHOUT AT ONCE) 379 00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:42,480 I say. 380 00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,390 Well, fascinating. 381 00:19:44,590 --> 00:19:47,709 But you don't see them now, do you? 382 00:19:47,835 --> 00:19:49,710 Not since we left the house. 383 00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:52,151 - Maybe I'm on the mend! - Mmm. 384 00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:54,014 Yes, I know how loans work. 385 00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,664 - Sort of. - As I've said before, sir... 386 00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:57,913 But surely if we just give you the money back, then... 387 00:19:58,038 --> 00:20:00,410 - we cannot end the agreement now. - Yes. 388 00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:02,200 - Do you see? - Yes, I see. 389 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,204 - Do you think it was related to the accident? - Oh, yes, undoubtedly. 390 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,438 Oh, good. 391 00:20:06,564 --> 00:20:10,264 So it should just stop happening, as I heal? 392 00:20:10,389 --> 00:20:13,725 Well, my diagnosis, based on what you've told me, 393 00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:17,045 is that your accident left you so close to death yourself, 394 00:20:17,171 --> 00:20:19,454 you're now able to see dead people. 395 00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:22,650 - What do you mean? - Well, can you see me? 396 00:20:22,776 --> 00:20:24,397 - Yes. - Exactly. 397 00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,317 I'm dead. 398 00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:28,442 So sorry to have kept you. 399 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:31,489 Oh, she's very good. 400 00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:33,568 Ohh! 401 00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:34,997 What can I do for you? 402 00:20:35,123 --> 00:20:38,263 - All right, listen to what I'm... - (ALISON SCREAMS) Wait. 403 00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:40,160 - ALISON: The doctor's dead! 404 00:20:42,388 --> 00:20:43,752 I just... 405 00:20:44,621 --> 00:20:47,263 I don't understand. If it's come back, why not accept the sedatives? 406 00:20:47,388 --> 00:20:49,714 - I mean, they might help with... - Because... 407 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,993 back at the house I see the same faces every day. 408 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,932 But at the hospital, completely different ones. 409 00:20:56,058 --> 00:20:58,263 Different places, different faces. 410 00:20:58,388 --> 00:21:00,766 - Why would my brain do that? - OK, that is... 411 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:04,006 It wouldn't. Because they're not in here. 412 00:21:04,294 --> 00:21:05,494 They're out there. 413 00:21:18,239 --> 00:21:20,239 (GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE) 414 00:21:26,095 --> 00:21:28,741 Right, we're selling up. We'll buy a little new-build. 415 00:21:28,867 --> 00:21:32,115 One of those soulless little boxes that I've always hated. 416 00:21:32,388 --> 00:21:36,866 One bed's fine. Just somewhere with absolutely no past whatsoever. 417 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:39,263 Right. Yeah. 418 00:21:39,388 --> 00:21:40,698 It's just... 419 00:21:40,923 --> 00:21:42,949 OK, well... 420 00:21:43,291 --> 00:21:44,745 - I don't want you to get mad. - Am I going to get mad? 421 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:49,120 Yes. I spoke to the loan people and, with the prepayment penalties and... 422 00:21:50,015 --> 00:21:53,263 Well, long story short, getting out now 423 00:21:53,388 --> 00:21:54,987 would probably bankrupt us. 424 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:58,208 And I only added "probably" to make it sound better. 425 00:21:58,388 --> 00:21:59,879 Didn't you read the contracts?! 426 00:22:00,005 --> 00:22:01,787 I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim. 427 00:22:01,913 --> 00:22:04,520 Oh, Mike, I could kill you! 428 00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:06,263 Ooh! Good idea! 429 00:22:06,389 --> 00:22:08,435 Though maybe not here, just because he might... 430 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,746 (GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE) 431 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,140 Right! 432 00:22:13,997 --> 00:22:16,139 Well, there's only one thing for it, isn't there? 433 00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,162 Fine! I see you! OK?! 434 00:22:21,288 --> 00:22:23,065 I see Major-General Can't-Sing, 435 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:25,181 I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you! 436 00:22:25,307 --> 00:22:28,264 OK? You win! Mission accomplished! 437 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:32,012 I admit your existence. Now what the hell do you want?! 438 00:22:32,138 --> 00:22:34,995 - We want you out of this house! - Yes, you do not belong here! 439 00:22:35,159 --> 00:22:36,476 Well, that's tough, isn't it? 440 00:22:36,602 --> 00:22:40,264 Because thanks to my resident mortgage advisor, we're stuck here! 441 00:22:40,389 --> 00:22:43,508 - OK, you're officially freaking me out. - So how about you leave? 442 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:46,659 - We can't leave. - You sort of just stays where you dies. 443 00:22:46,785 --> 00:22:48,836 And how you dies... Died! 444 00:22:48,962 --> 00:22:50,462 It's your classic haunted house. 445 00:22:50,588 --> 00:22:52,861 - Er, Alison... - Whoa. Right. 446 00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:55,468 So I can't go and you can't go. So... 447 00:22:55,921 --> 00:23:00,104 what will it take to get you all just out of my face, huh? 448 00:23:00,822 --> 00:23:02,804 What do you want? What do you actually want?! 449 00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,463 Specifically! You? 450 00:23:05,804 --> 00:23:07,930 Right! I'll tell you what we want. 451 00:23:08,056 --> 00:23:09,852 We demand that... 452 00:23:11,186 --> 00:23:12,966 One hour a week of the thing about tanks 453 00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,032 and anything on superweapons, please? Thank you. 454 00:23:15,157 --> 00:23:17,271 - Done! Next. - It feels like I should call someone? 455 00:23:17,388 --> 00:23:20,056 Who you gonna call?! You, Sourpuss. 456 00:23:20,182 --> 00:23:23,928 Remove my husband's portrait, and fill the hole in my wall! 457 00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,872 - Done. You? - Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me. 458 00:23:26,998 --> 00:23:28,149 - No. - To which bit? 459 00:23:28,275 --> 00:23:30,628 - You? - I just wanted to say hello!! 460 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,308 - Hello! - Oh, hello. 461 00:23:32,434 --> 00:23:35,263 And on behalf of myself and my fellow ghosts... 462 00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:38,263 Listen. I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle 463 00:23:38,388 --> 00:23:41,263 to amend my entry for the next edition. I am a respectable... 464 00:23:41,388 --> 00:23:43,264 It doesn't work like that, it's the internet. 465 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,397 Right. And where are they based? 466 00:23:45,522 --> 00:23:49,149 It's everywhere. In every house in the country, in the world. 467 00:23:49,275 --> 00:23:53,263 You mean every person on the planet just thinks of me as the weirdo MP 468 00:23:53,388 --> 00:23:55,263 who died in some sex scandal? 469 00:23:55,388 --> 00:23:57,962 - That was you?! - What? No! 470 00:23:58,388 --> 00:24:01,174 I don't want anything, actually. Who's next? 471 00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,559 Renounce Satan, witch! 472 00:24:03,685 --> 00:24:05,394 Um... OK! 473 00:24:05,637 --> 00:24:08,263 Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it. 474 00:24:08,632 --> 00:24:11,952 And what about you, Budget Tarzan? 475 00:24:12,078 --> 00:24:13,264 What do you want? 476 00:24:13,389 --> 00:24:15,466 - Oh, nuffin', thanks. - Nothing? 477 00:24:16,513 --> 00:24:18,152 So you just spent... 478 00:24:18,862 --> 00:24:20,834 So you just spent the last three days 479 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,037 hiding in every little tiny little dark corner in this entire house, 480 00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:27,745 scaring me out of my mind, 481 00:24:27,871 --> 00:24:29,316 for no reason?! 482 00:24:29,808 --> 00:24:31,263 Well, it was something to do. 483 00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:33,175 My turn! I think we've got a lot in common. 484 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,263 OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break" 485 00:24:35,388 --> 00:24:38,057 and I'm not saying that this is one, but there is an article 486 00:24:38,183 --> 00:24:39,262 that I think you should have a... 487 00:24:39,388 --> 00:24:41,137 Mike, this isn't... Can you just come with me? 488 00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:42,902 All of you! 489 00:24:43,028 --> 00:24:45,879 - Where are you going? - To shut you all up. 490 00:24:46,005 --> 00:24:48,696 Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko. 491 00:24:49,231 --> 00:24:50,896 Dooka-dakka-deeko. 492 00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:53,387 OK, you go. 493 00:24:53,513 --> 00:24:55,531 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 494 00:24:55,656 --> 00:24:57,303 Even more softly. 495 00:24:58,923 --> 00:25:00,263 When's our sleepover again? 496 00:25:00,388 --> 00:25:02,121 - Eighth of March. - And what is it now? 497 00:25:02,246 --> 00:25:04,514 - June. - Oh! So exciting! 498 00:25:06,043 --> 00:25:07,383 How long's this on for? 499 00:25:07,509 --> 00:25:09,497 I need to contact this Vicky Pedia. 500 00:25:09,623 --> 00:25:10,747 Shh! Shh! 501 00:25:10,873 --> 00:25:12,873 (DOCUMENTARY PLAYS) 502 00:25:16,778 --> 00:25:18,313 Er, well played. 503 00:25:18,439 --> 00:25:21,887 Perhaps there is some Button blood in those veins after all. 504 00:25:22,388 --> 00:25:23,264 Yeah. 505 00:25:23,389 --> 00:25:26,263 Well, I'm not sure I buy all this, but I've moved the painting. 506 00:25:26,388 --> 00:25:27,397 And bricked up the hole? 507 00:25:27,522 --> 00:25:30,159 Yeah, I filled the hole. 508 00:25:31,389 --> 00:25:33,130 (HUMS CHEERILY) 509 00:25:33,263 --> 00:25:34,139 Argh! 510 00:25:34,265 --> 00:25:36,347 Oh, this will NOT stand! 511 00:25:38,056 --> 00:25:39,699 Well, you seem happier. 512 00:25:40,449 --> 00:25:43,103 The good news is I'm not mad. 513 00:25:43,229 --> 00:25:45,396 That's a relief. What's the bad news? 514 00:25:45,522 --> 00:25:48,570 (GHOSTS ALL SHOUT AT ONCE) 515 00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:52,016 They are. 516 00:25:57,716 --> 00:25:59,251 (TAPPING) 517 00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:10,569 - Alison! - Turn the right-hand dial horizontal. 518 00:26:12,389 --> 00:26:14,388 And press the ignition. 519 00:26:15,114 --> 00:26:16,314 Hey! 520 00:26:17,270 --> 00:26:18,470 OK. 521 00:26:19,656 --> 00:26:22,263 I believe you. And, er... 522 00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:25,180 - thank you? - They say you're welcome. 523 00:26:25,306 --> 00:26:28,301 "They"? You mean there's two of them?! 524 00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,486 Yes. 525 00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:38,212 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 526 00:26:38,262 --> 00:26:42,812 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39577

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.