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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,476
(Snoring)
3
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,676
We could still be friends.
4
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,596
Or not.
5
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,918
- What are you doing? The accounts?
- My ovulation chart.
6
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,911
Your what?
7
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,719
Tells me when l'm most fertile.
8
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,028
And when's that?
9
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,430
Just about here.
10
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,476
Oh. Tonight.
11
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,835
Don't be late home.
12
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,313
Karen, that's a confidential memo
he's screwing up.
13
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,960
l don't suppose he's read it.
14
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,351
l'm late.
15
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,797
l've left some shirts to be washed.
They're white, OK?
16
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,474
And when did the cleaners say
my suit will be ready?
17
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,632
- Er, tomorrow.
- l need it for Frankfurt.
18
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,676
Look, l've got to go.
19
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:30,909
Nearly forgot.
Junior sausage, be good for Mummy, all right?
20
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,117
And Daddy will be back real soon.
21
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,760
Actually, l may be a bit late.
22
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,396
See you, guys.
23
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,596
Oh, Rach, it's really beautiful.
Really, really beautiful.
24
00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,116
- Simon, l've got to go.
- No, l mean, really, really...
25
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,156
Love you.
26
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,918
- Cheers.
- Thanks a lot, mate.
27
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:18,117
Do you want a hand with the big words?
28
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,999
(Both whistle ''You Are My Sunshine'')
29
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,356
Are you still seeing whatshername?
30
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,908
- Split up.
- What was wrong with this one?
31
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,911
She wasn't right.
32
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,911
She liked Wet Wet Wet.
33
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,276
lt's a fault, l'll admit,
but it's hardly a crime against humanity.
34
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,033
- Have you heard any of their albums?
- (Sighs)
35
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,236
Jenny's got one.
36
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,836
When's this tram coming? l best be home.
She's got a temperature.
37
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,833
- She's got a temperature?
- Yeah, the right one, for breeding.
38
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,912
- Still trying for a baby?
- Yeah. Tell me about it.
39
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,909
- (Sighs) l'm on duty tonight.
- Best lubricate the engine.
40
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,356
- No, l can't.
- Go on, just the one.
41
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,431
No. Absolutely not.
42
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,400
- So...how long were you with Liz?
- Liz?
43
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:23,873
Liz was a personal best. Three months.
But Liz was before Gemma.
44
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,678
And it's Sue l've just split up with.
45
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,069
l can't keep track of you.
46
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:32,472
l've never had much stamina.
1 00 metres man. Crap at cross-country.
47
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,154
So, who's the next victim?
There can't be many left.
48
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,549
Well, most of the best ones are taken.
49
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,428
Besides, women around 30
who haven't got a man, usually have a cat.
50
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,636
And l'm allergic to cats.
51
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,551
- Are you really?
- Mm.
52
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,758
My nose runs, l can't breathe.
Takes the joy out of snogging.
53
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,311
Yeah. So does being married.
54
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,152
Your choice.
55
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,676
Hello.
56
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,836
Right. My round.
57
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,716
Don't you want cream with those?
58
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,712
Mm? Oh, er...no.
59
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,235
l have some news.
60
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:18,878
l've been offered a promotion.
61
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,510
Simon, that is wonderful!
62
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,194
Yeah, l mean,
it would mean working away from home.
63
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,998
Erm...
64
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,150
Hong Kong, actually.
65
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:33,870
Yeah, l know. You can't commute,
which is why it was such a hard decision.
66
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,916
What? You've already accepted?
67
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,757
Don't you think we should have discussed this?
l'm not sure l'm ready to move to Hong Kong.
68
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:46,719
lt wouldn't be fair to ask you.
You've got your career.
69
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,475
- lt's a job, as you're always telling me.
- l'm going to be really busy.
70
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,790
lt would be better if l went alone.
71
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,751
Without any extra...
72
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,319
Baggage.
73
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,755
Responsibilities.
74
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,116
l see.
75
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,318
What? And you thought buy her dinner and
then she won't cause a scene when l dump her?
76
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,152
lt's not like that.
77
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,155
You're not going to cause a scene, are you?
78
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,676
Screw you.
79
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,716
(Plate clatters)
80
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,436
(Floorboards creak)
81
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,713
Let me guess. Swift half after work?
82
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:47,592
Do you have any idea what alcohol does
to your sperm count? l suppose it was Adam.
83
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,878
He was upset. He's just split up with erm...
84
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,953
How many have you had?
85
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,871
Five.
86
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,632
Maybe six.
87
00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:02,475
Right. Well, l suppose it's worth a try.
Go on, get into bed.
88
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,553
You know, it's not fair.
89
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:15,760
Adam may still be a adolescent
but you've got responsibilities.
90
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,910
He doesn't even know how to spell the word.
91
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,711
But l won't think about that now.
92
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,031
Last thing l want on my mind
at the point of conception is your mate Adam.
93
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,516
(Coins clatter on floor)
94
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,633
Come on, Tiger.
95
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,149
(Toilet flushes)
96
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,673
What's that?
97
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,591
Oh, um, that's Adam.
98
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,432
What?
99
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,829
lt's a bugger to flush that loo.
100
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,273
Hi, Jen.
101
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,396
- What's he doing here?
- He missed the bus.
102
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,516
Pete said l could sleep in your spare room.
103
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,750
- Mmm. No, you can't.
- Why not?
104
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,957
Because we're just about...to decorate.
105
00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,112
That's OK, l'll sleep on the sofa downstairs.
106
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,795
God, l'm shagged. Hell of a day.
Just split up with Sue.
107
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,836
Bit depressed.
108
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,720
Why do you wear make-up in bed?
109
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,551
Oh, my God, l forgot! You're ovulating.
110
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,596
You told him.
111
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,114
l'll turn the TV up. l won't hear a thing.
112
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,350
ADAM: Hey.
113
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:22,999
Good luck.
114
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:38,989
l got my bonus today.
Four figures. Four large figures.
115
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,073
David?
116
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,116
Mm.
117
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,997
l really want us to get a nanny.
118
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,277
We've been through this a hundred times.
119
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:54,276
l do not want my son brought up by some
1 8-year-old bimbo who can't get a proper job.
120
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,230
Everybody we know's got a nanny
and they're quite happy with them.
121
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,630
Yeah. Maybe they don't care as much as l do.
122
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,393
Look, a nanny is not a mother.
123
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,074
lf she was she'd be at home
looking after babies of her own.
124
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,718
David, you can't just...
125
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,395
- Motherhood does not end at birth.
- Nor fatherhood at conception.
126
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:19,068
Christ, l go whole days
without an intelligent conversation.
127
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,197
- Even after you get home.
- l've seen the phone bill.
128
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,750
lt may not be intelligent
but it's one hell of a conversation.
129
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,398
(Phone rings)
130
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,436
That'll be for you.
131
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,038
- Hello.
- Karen...
132
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,270
Why are men such bastards?
133
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,116
Practice?
134
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,430
(Background voice from TV)
135
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,995
- l'm sorry.
- What?
136
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,479
l can't do this
to the sound of Jeremy Paxman.
137
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,516
l'll get him to turn it down.
138
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:58,151
No. Don't bother.
Moment's passed. Let's sleep, eh?
139
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,310
No, but l'm aroused now.
140
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:04,154
Tough. You should have thought of that
before you brought him home.
141
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,756
No slinking off to the bathroom.
142
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,276
(Baby crying)
143
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,354
KAREN: l think he's asking for you.
144
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,748
Aw...
145
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,156
You may not have noticed
but l can't breast-feed.
146
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,676
You may not have noticed
but l'm not breast-feeding any more.
147
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,232
(David groans sleepily)
148
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,276
(Baby continues crying)
149
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,438
Where are you going with that?
150
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:51,389
To show it to Josh. So when he grows up
he'll recognise his father.
151
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,753
(Crash)
152
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,993
(Both groan)
153
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,669
What the hell were you doing?
154
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,273
Me? You reversed without looking.
155
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,352
Yeah, at about 5mph.
You didn't have to ram me.
156
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,797
- Excuse me. But whose car is touching whose?
- Oh, terrific.
157
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:08,237
- A woman driver with a woman's logic.
- And a man with shit for brains.
158
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,754
Tell me, were you starved of oxygen at birth?
159
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,195
Who was your driving instructor?
Stevie Wonder?
160
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:17,477
At least l had one.
161
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,118
Oh, how that man must have suffered.
162
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,838
lt was a woman, actually.
163
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,718
Erm...
164
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:32,397
Look, there isn't really any damage,
but maybe we should swap phone numbers.
165
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:37,110
You know, just in case you want
to get in touch with your insurance.
166
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,551
Systems analyst?
What's that when it's at home?
167
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:44,993
A job.
168
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,397
Um...aren't you supposed
to give me your number as well?
169
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,357
Oh. God, sorry.
170
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,154
Oh, er...l haven't got a pen.
171
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,196
Pen?
172
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,116
A pen.
173
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:20,074
Right. Well, um...
174
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,196
Maybe see you around.
175
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,799
Rachel.
176
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,155
Oh, l'll be on the lookout for you.
177
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,838
Adam.
178
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,236
Good.
179
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,833
(Hums) ♪ You Are My Sunshine
180
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,197
No. No. No. No!
181
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,989
Rachel. 291 0349.
182
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:02,593
291 0349. 291 0349.
183
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,275
291 0349. Come on, come on. 291 0349.
184
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,112
(Rings)
185
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,876
291 0349. 291 0349.
291 0349. 291 0349.
186
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,871
Hello? Who?
187
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:19,238
No, this is 636 81 42. OK.
188
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,434
Shit.
189
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,712
Ah, yeah. Yeah.
190
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,194
Right. Yeah.
191
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,556
- You can't wear those.
- They're clean.
192
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,995
They heat up your testicles.
Put some boxers on.
193
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,598
Hang on.
You said there were no decent women left.
194
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,033
I know.
195
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,157
So you met Miss Right.
You got a phone number and lost it.
196
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,151
- Yep.
- Oh...
197
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,708
Adam, even by your standards,
that is impressive.
198
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:48,596
Still...
199
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,796
saves you the three months till you chuck her.
200
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,791
No, no, this one was different.
201
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,836
Ho-ho, ho! Deja vu.
202
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,916
This one's different?
203
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,515
- I know I've said it before but this time I mean it.
- This time he means it.
204
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,194
- Where am l going to find her?
- No address?
205
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,239
All l know is that she's called Rachel,
and her phone number begins with 9.
206
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:13,114
Or 6. And she drives a Mini. Smashed headlight.
207
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,670
And come Saturday
she shops at your IocaI Tesco's.
208
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,756
(Mutters)
209
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:44,035
(Mimics) l shall be on the next plane home
to Denmark.
210
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,157
Bruce, what's the difference
between an au pair and a nanny?
211
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,277
- Looks, mainly.
- And er...reliability.
212
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,875
l wouldn't trust Brigitte after ten o'clock,
not with a two-year-old.
213
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,713
Have you thought about getting a nanny
for Joshua?
214
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,155
We don't need one. Karen can cope.
215
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,151
Shit! Shit!
216
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,196
More wine.
217
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,869
l'm out of touch. What do you do
when someone asks you out?
218
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,871
ln your case, say yes.
219
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,155
l mean, do you tell his wife?
220
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,152
- What?
- Andrew. He's asked me out.
221
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,196
Howard's meant to be your date.
222
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,959
- Why?
- He's divorced.
223
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:28,472
Look, Karen, l know that being married
you can't imagine anyone's happy on their own.
224
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,758
The fact is, l am.
My life is full and satisfying as it is.
225
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,990
So what did you do last night, Rach?
226
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,595
- Watched television.
- Night before?
227
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,748
- Watched television.
- Night before?
228
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,910
OK, OK, maybe l need to go out more.
229
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,719
Last thing l need right now is a relationship.
230
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,314
A relationship? l'm just talking about some fun.
231
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,233
- (Male laughter)
- With Howard?
232
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,992
What about that bloke from Tesco's?
233
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,589
- What bloke?
- The one whose car you hit.
234
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,318
He hit mine.
235
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,197
Whatever. You said he seemed nice.
236
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:12,638
He had potential, sure. But l know nothing
about him. And he hasn't rung me.
237
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:17,316
Rachel, it's no longer the 1 9th century.
We're allowed to ask them to dance.
238
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,753
Still got his number?
239
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,798
Oh, God! l don't know. l mean, possibly...
240
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,599
Top drawer. Left-hand side of my desk.
241
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,196
(Phone rings)
242
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,469
Hello.
243
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,755
HeIIo. Um... Is that Andy WiIIiams?
244
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,195
No, this is Adam Williams.
245
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,198
Oh erm... l'm sorry. l haven't got my contacts in.
246
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,953
- Who is this?
- Oh, yes. Erm...
247
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,554
l'm Rachel Bradley.
l don't know if you remember me...
248
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,596
Rachel! Of course l do!
249
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,435
RACHEL: WeII, Iisten...
250
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:58,548
The thing is, l just was wondering
if you wanted to go for a drink erm...
251
00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,993
sometime.
252
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,036
♪ Dancebeat
253
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,036
(Whoops) Yes! Yes! Yes!
254
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,472
Rachel! Hi.
255
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,950
OK. You arrived ten minutes late.
That's good. Then what?
256
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:25,113
l made it absolutely clear what the score was.
257
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,397
l've split up with my boyfriend.
l don't want any other relationships.
258
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,836
l don't want any misunderstandings.
l thought it would be nice to have company.
259
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,990
Would you like a drink?
260
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,911
Gin and tonic.
261
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,753
ADAM: I knew there and then I was in.
262
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,832
Yeah? Gagging for it.
So...did you turn on the charm?
263
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,593
Hey, l could teach Mel Gibson.
264
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,034
Thank you.
265
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,236
- There you go, sir.
- Thank you.
266
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,071
Hello. For a moment there
you were going to go down on me.
267
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,914
He said what?
268
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,230
RACHEL: Maybe I misheard. It was rather noisy.
269
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,958
Excuse me, l'll just...
270
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,632
DlNER: Ow!
271
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,756
- Hey, watch it.
- Sorry.
272
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:13,188
KAREN: OK. So, he sexuaIIy harassed you
and then stabbed another diner with a fork.
273
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,157
RACHEL: Mm.
274
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,151
Toilet.
275
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,798
Won't you ring Howard?
276
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,472
l had a good time.
277
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,437
KAREN: Yeah? How good?
278
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,111
- There you go, sir.
- Thank you.
279
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,470
- l hate it when they do that.
- Bring the bill?
280
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,073
Yeah, me too.
281
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,116
Give it to the man.
282
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,316
We'll split it.
283
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,798
Well, let me give you a lift home.
284
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,348
- What? You brought your car?
- No.
285
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,670
But we could share a cab.
286
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,320
l live on the other side of town to you.
287
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,437
That's OK. One of my hobbies is travelling.
288
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,078
Look... l meant what l said.
289
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,720
About just wanting a friend.
290
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,477
Yeah. Yeah... Me, too.
291
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,120
PETE: She'sjust pIaying hard to get.
292
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,476
Pete! Lesbians don't play this hard to get.
293
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:14,109
lt's been six weeks, over 1 ,000 hours.
294
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,475
l haven't been this celibate since puberty.
295
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,313
Can you imagine
what it's like to go this long without sex?
296
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,393
No.
297
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,232
l had this one idea - brilliant it was.
298
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:28,269
Took her to a exhibition of erotic photography.
Warm her up a bit.
299
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,191
PETE: Last of the great romantics! And?
300
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,272
All l got was the usual peck on the cheek,
and a stonking great...
301
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,510
Don't even think about finishing that sentence.
302
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,592
- Pete, when are you off to London?
- Er... A week on Saturday.
303
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,148
l'm going to burst with sexual frustration!
304
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,913
- You'll have to make it another day.
- What?
305
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,072
- lt's perfect for my next cycle.
- lt's the Charity Shield.
306
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,037
They can't change it for your periods.
307
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:52,396
Excuse me!
Who are we meant to be discussing?
308
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,994
- So what am l going to do?
- What about?
309
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,594
The price of turnips! Aaarh!
310
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,910
Rachel! Getting her into bed.
311
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,991
Suggest having a baby.
312
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,749
Look, it's simple.
You've got to get her back to your place.
313
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,115
lnvite her out to a place near where you live.
314
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,273
Then afterwards,
down the pub, few drinks, and Bob's your uncle.
315
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,475
(Jenny clears throat)
316
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,869
Excuse me. Don't you think she might suspect?
317
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,313
You didn't.
318
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,032
RACHEL: So Iet me get this straight.
319
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,031
lt's an existentialist drama,
320
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:30,511
set in 1 9th-century Peru about the struggle
between the Church and state.
321
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,195
- It's by my one of favourite pIaywrights.
- Oh, and who's that?
322
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,670
Er... Fernanda Cristobal de Miranda.
323
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,716
lnteresting guy.
324
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,438
lsn't that a woman's name?
325
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,069
Er... that's what makes him interesting.
326
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,116
And it's all in Spanish, yeah?
327
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,589
Yeah, but it is mostly mime.
328
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,636
Go on. lt will be fun.
329
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,758
All right. Where is it on at?
330
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:58,197
Um... Oh, quite close to me, actually.
331
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,192
Oh, quite close to me, actually!
332
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,952
He's a bloke. He's got glands.
333
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,919
- Anyway, you've agreed to go.
- Yeah, to the theatre. Not to bed.
334
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,549
Why not? You like this guy.
You have fun, so why not have some more?
335
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,756
l only go to bed with men l'm involved with.
336
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,397
And l'm not getting involved.
337
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,238
- (Slurps)
- What do you think?
338
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,912
l think you should sleep with him.
339
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,309
Ciento. Veintiocho pesetas el dollar.
340
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,073
Firme sus cheques, por favor.
341
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,116
Nji! Nji! Nji...
342
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:39,190
ADAM: I am so sorry.
343
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,037
That's all right.
lt was only four hours of my life.
344
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,834
l swear l didn't know there was
going to be audience participation.
345
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,594
- We even missed last orders.
- Mm.
346
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,356
Well...
347
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,396
here's my flat.
348
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,676
And here's my car.
349
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,076
l don't suppose...
350
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,276
Coffee?
351
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,316
Well...
352
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,716
Good night.
353
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,600
l wouldn't say no to a Scotch, though.
354
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,758
lsn't she just a gorgeous girl?
355
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,398
- What are you doing?
- Wakies.
356
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,232
What are you doing?
357
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,034
♪ l'm just a fool, you never can win
358
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,195
- Ow!
RACHEL: Ooh. Did you just bang your head?
359
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,872
Kiss me with the camera.
360
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,031
Hello!
361
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:22,076
Darling. Coming in?
362
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,516
Miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you.
363
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,276
Still missing you.
364
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,678
lt's a bit like the election of a new Pope, isn't it?
365
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,036
Waiting to see what colour smoke
comes out the chimney?
366
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:47,351
(Doorbell chimes)
- Are you expecting anybody?
367
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,396
Don't know yet.
368
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,477
Hello, stranger.
369
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,358
We nearly reported you missing.
370
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:05,274
You're here every other day, then you get laid,
and then for a month, nothing.
371
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:08,272
- l've been busy.
- l can imagine.
372
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:11,670
- Where's your delicious wife?
- At the Vatican.
373
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,479
- Black smoke.
- Oh, love.
374
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,916
- For you.
- Thanks. Why?
375
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,630
Mostly because l feel like spreading a little joy.
Partly because they were half-price.
376
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:27,475
- l take it things are going well, then.
- Couldn't be better. l knew you'd want to know.
377
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,599
- l'll put a pot of coffee on.
- Better make it a large one.
378
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,909
And then the following night
we went to the cinema.
379
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,228
Are we up to date yet?
380
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,595
l think l prefer it when he's miserable.
381
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,558
Some Scandinavian thing with subtitles.
l hated it. Still...
382
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,915
it's good to like different things, isn't it?
383
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,752
BOTH: Yeah.
384
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,992
That's what's so great about Rachel,
l'm doing stuff l've never tried before.
385
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,595
Oh, God, he's going to tell us
about his sex life.
386
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,875
- Last weekend, we went for a waIk.
- Uh-uh. Wait.
387
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,474
Wait. Stop. Stop...stop right there.
388
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:03,076
You went for a walk with your girlfriend.
You despise couples who do things like that.
389
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,515
Next thing you know
he'll be giving her a pet name.
390
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,031
Pingu?
391
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,509
Oh, please!
392
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,875
l'd do anything for you.
393
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,430
Yeah, sure. Like l haven't heard that one before.
394
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,238
Go on.
395
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,917
- What?
- Try me.
396
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,956
All right.
397
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,552
All right. Would you serenade me?
398
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,596
Yes.
399
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,951
ln the nude?
400
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,996
Yeah.
401
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,231
With a rose stuck up your bum?
402
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,874
We should get going really, shouldn't we?
403
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,876
- Rach?
- Yeah.
404
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,791
PETE: You didn't.
JENNY: He did.
405
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,836
l love you.
406
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:50,835
Good.
407
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,911
PETE & JENNY: Way-hey! Whoo!
408
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,989
- Are you nervous?
- About meeting your friends? Oh, yes.
409
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,197
Don't be. They're really nice. Well, Karen is.
410
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,510
David's a bit pompous. You know, a wine buff.
411
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,511
Shit. ls he?
412
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,033
Just give it to Karen.
413
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:14,159
There is one other thing about David.
He's a friend of Simon's.
414
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,117
Terrific.
415
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,430
Don't worry, he won't mention him.
416
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,671
So, you must be the chap trying to fill
Simon's shoes.
417
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,079
- David.
- Rachel.
418
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,878
Shall l take that?
419
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:30,829
Ah! Bulgarian. Yes, they make
some very underrated wines, the Bulgarians.
420
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,716
Though this isn't one of them.
421
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,199
You all know Rachel, don't you?
422
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,114
And this is her current beau, Alan.
423
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,516
Er...Adam.
424
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,278
- Done any karate yourself?
- No.
425
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:59,114
Not like Simon then, eh? He's a black belt.
426
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:05,514
Alan, we were just discussing
the ERM. What's your view?
427
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,588
Well, l thought their last album was shite.
428
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,992
Are you sure you don't want
to give Howard a ring?
429
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,271
Anyone see the cricket?
430
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:23,353
So it's quite normal to forget things
and feel inadequate?
431
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,035
Oh, God, yes. All new mothers go through that.
432
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,588
Have you thought about getting some help?
433
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,398
You mean like The Samaritans?
434
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,678
l was thinking more of hired help.
435
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,912
David thinks nannies are for failed mothers.
436
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,116
Your champagne was getting warm.
437
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,350
You mean you wanted to escape?
438
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,396
Well, yes...
439
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,916
Hey! Look at you.
440
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,592
- What is it?
- lt's a baby.
441
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,116
- A boy, eight months old. Do you like babies?
- l prefer cats.
442
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,634
- l thought you were allergic to cats.
- l am.
443
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,996
Are you getting broody?
444
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,311
No.
445
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:08,958
So this is where you got to.
446
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,476
Come on, l'll show you my wine collection.
Give you a few tips.
447
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,516
(Baby cries)
448
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:21,230
So, just remember, Alan, if a wine had ''made
from several European countries'' on the label,
449
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,073
it generally isn't any good.
450
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,631
PETE: You didn't!
451
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,917
No. Of course not. But, God, l wanted to.
Cocky bastard.
452
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,673
RacheI wants us to go on hoIiday with them -
skiing.
453
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,671
l hate skiing.
454
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,877
- l didn't know you'd been.
- l haven't, but l hate the idea.
455
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,394
- When are you meeting the parents?
- Next Sunday.
456
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,835
- How did you know l was?
- lt's the next stage.
457
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,799
- What?
- Adam, you have to read women's magazines.
458
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,429
Meeting the parents.
Next stage, the wedding rehearsal.
459
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,830
She's 30. She's playing for keeps.
How long have you been seeing her?
460
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:56,797
Three months.
461
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,635
Point of no return, mate. You've gotta put
your foot down. Reclaim your independence.
462
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,711
Otherwise... (Sighs)
463
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,553
..you'll end up in a place like this.
464
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,632
Some stranger fiddling about with your privates.
465
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,395
One of the tests is to see if my sperm
fertilises a gerbil's egg.
466
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,391
No!
467
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,790
lmagine that. Half man, half gerbil.
468
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,153
l'm not looking forward to this.
469
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,959
Sex to order is one thing. But a J Arthur.
470
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,917
Shall l come with you?
471
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,991
ln case you need a hand?
472
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,915
You've got enough worries of your own, mate.
473
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,629
Your days of being young, free and single
are well and truly over.
474
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,313
David rang earlier.
He was wondering if you play golf.
475
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,157
- l said we'll meet on Saturday.
- Erm... l'm not sure if l'm free.
476
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,832
You are. Checked it in your diary.
477
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,470
You've been reading my diary?
478
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,313
- You left it lying around so l...
- Not for you to read.
479
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,630
Adam, it's a pocket diary.
480
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,793
lt hardly contains your deepest thoughts.
Unless you count ''6:30 pint with Pete''.
481
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,509
Like yours is right out of Dickens.
''Thursday, period starts.''
482
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,517
Excuse me, am l missing something here?
483
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,591
l can't find my shirts.
484
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,433
- They're in the wardrobe.
- What?
485
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,158
What are they doing there?
486
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,071
Nothing much. Hanging, mostly.
487
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:21,597
You've ironed them! l like to leave them in
my bag and iron each one as l need it.
488
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,910
Adam, you're crap at ironing.
489
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,831
You add creases.
490
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,115
What other helpful things have you done?
491
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:33,274
Like you notice! Cleaning the bath
after you've used it.
492
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,511
Picking your pubic hair off the soap,
putting milk back in the fridge.
493
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,875
Nagging. You left that off the list.
494
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,029
Look, l live life my way.
495
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,076
Yeah. Like a pig.
496
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,071
Give me that.
497
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,029
l didn't ask you to move in.
498
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,031
l haven't moved in!
499
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,350
Besides, l'm moving out.
500
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,029
How can you move out
if you haven't moved in?
501
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,076
Watch me.
502
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,716
(Doorbell rings)
503
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,151
What now?
504
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,231
ls this not a good time?
505
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,113
Well, things just didn't work out. l mean...
506
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,670
l'm supposed to be in property
but the only flat l could find was above a brothel
507
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,194
run by the Triads.
508
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,351
Most of all, l missed you, Rach.
509
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,188
l talked to David.
He said you'd been seeing someone.
510
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,111
l have been, yes.
511
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,236
A computer salesman?
512
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,231
A systems analyst.
513
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,276
Whatever that is.
514
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,396
And are you happy?
515
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,639
Hey, hey...
516
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,080
Hey, what's the matter?
517
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,277
Oh, sweetness. Rachel.
518
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,511
Rach.
519
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,160
♪ Nessun Dorma
520
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,356
(Sings nonsense)
521
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:33,478
♪ Vincero!
522
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,750
♪ Vincero!
523
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:45,597
♪ Vincero!
524
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,915
My name's Adam Williams.
525
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,753
You've been great. Good night.
526
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,596
God! l can't believe l'm telling you
my problems with men.
527
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,956
We used to tell each other everything.
528
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,837
Look, Rach, l hate to see you upset.
529
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,356
But l can't pretend that l'm not happy
that you've fallen out with Alan.
530
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,556
Actually, it's Adam.
531
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,679
PETE: (Posh voice) Come on,
you absolute shower. Champagne?
532
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,036
Here we go!
533
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,671
Aw!
534
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,870
(WhistIing and Iaughter)
535
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,996
♪ Wake up, step up to reaIity
536
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,277
♪ AII this wiII be finished by the time I do
537
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,670
♪ Just the thought of you
makes me stop just before I begin
538
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,716
(Phone rings)
539
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:06,996
Hello.
540
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,595
ADAM: It's me. Don't put the phone down.
Look...
541
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:15,310
l'm really sorry about earlier. l was being stupid.
542
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,148
- Yes, you were.
- Rach...
543
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:22,515
l'm really missing you.
544
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,431
But l could come over if you like.
545
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,396
Not tonight, Adam.
546
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:34,750
No. Well, well, no.
OK, l just wanted to let you know.
547
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,714
- Good night.
- Good night, Adam.
548
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,870
ls everything all right?
549
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:57,515
KAREN: You sIept with him!
RACHEL: I was feeIing confused.
550
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,033
And since?
551
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,200
l'm still feeling confused.
552
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,191
You're sleeping with them both?
553
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,475
l'm really torn, Karen.
554
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:13,192
(Sighs) l love being with Adam.
He's great fun. He's like a big kid.
555
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,111
But that's also his problem.
556
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,193
Whereas Simon is more mature. More reliable.
557
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,350
Reliable? Rachel, he left you.
558
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,396
He came back.
559
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,432
OK, let me get this straight.
560
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,830
Simon knows about Adam
but Adam doesn't know about Simon, right?
561
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,831
Yes.
562
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,115
You'll have to tell Adam.
563
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,000
He's a grown-up. He can take it.
564
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:47,153
Now l get it! ln that film
when you laughed before the jokes...
565
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:48,992
you'd already been...
566
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,036
with him!
567
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,031
How could you?
568
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,237
- lt wasn't worth seeing once!
- Actually, it got better.
569
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,915
So, have you folks made your mind up?
570
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,397
Zabaglione.
571
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,436
Oh, l can't decide.
572
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,800
The er...tiramisu as usual?
573
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,876
And here! My God, l'm dating Mata Hari.
574
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,630
Adam, the thing is, l don't know what l want.
575
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:20,439
You're going to have to choose.
576
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:22,476
Him or me.
577
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,716
So, which will it be?
578
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,556
PETE: Tiramisu.
579
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,359
Zabaglione. But she dumped me all the same.
580
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,637
Now you know how it feels
to be on the receiving end, eh?
581
00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:37,676
Thanks, Jenny. That's really supportive.
582
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,671
lt's all you deserve.
583
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,558
You were going to do a runner.
Rachel beat you to the door.
584
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,437
l thought she was getting too clingy.
585
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:45,999
Oops.
586
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,674
Even Pete said she was showing all the signs.
587
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,637
Did you?
588
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:54,190
- Er... not in so many words, no.
- ln precisely those words.
589
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,072
Ah, this morning's post.
590
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:01,234
''Slippery slope. Put your foot down, show her
who's boss.'' To think l listened to dickless here.
591
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:02,309
That's not fair, Adam.
592
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,756
No, it's not, and l passed my sperm test.
593
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,037
The first time l really care for someone,
fate buggers it up.
594
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,430
Oh, right. First it's Pete's fault then it's fate's.
595
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,591
There should be some certificate.
596
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:19,834
- Yeah. Adam Williams. Never to blame.
- Or a sticker - My Sperm Count!
597
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:25,074
No, no. lt is my fault, Jenny. l should never
have allowed myself to fall in love with her.
598
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,390
But you did...fall in love.
599
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,835
Fight for her. Come on. lf you really care.
600
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,433
- Go on!
- Ow!
601
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,999
What is it with men?
602
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,756
A genetic disorder. You say you want things
like love and children.
603
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,196
But once they're on offer you look for a way out.
604
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,397
You were relieved that Rachel chose Simon.
605
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,710
lt got you off the hook.
606
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,837
You know, if you don't want to get hooked,
don't go fishing.
607
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,916
Her machine's on.
608
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,150
So you're gonna give up, just like that, are you?
609
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:01,472
Look, Jenny, it's over! What's the point? She's
not waiting for me, she's with the Karate Kid
610
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,154
and his... bijou residence
on the Broadhurst Road.
611
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:06,231
Nice area. Sorry.
612
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,835
Go on, Jenny. Hit me again. Go on!
613
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,876
l don't care.
614
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,871
We need some more wine.
615
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,834
♪ DONlZETTl: L'Elisir d'Amore
616
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:36,836
♪ Una furtiva lagrima
617
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,597
♪ Negl' occhi suoi spunto...
618
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,557
(Shrill alarm)
619
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,596
(Baby cries)
620
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,276
(Phone rings)
621
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:52,675
Hello.
622
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,034
Karen, what's that noise?
623
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,395
The bIoody smoke aIarm. I burnt some toast.
624
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,313
- Well, switch it off.
- David, I'm trying to.
625
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:03,757
Talk to your son, David.
There you are, darling, tell Daddy.
626
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,796
(Alarm continues)
627
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,030
Sugar?
628
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,997
(Baby screams)
629
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,196
Josh. Put Mummy back on.
630
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,556
(Crossly) Yes.
631
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,633
Look, can't stop.
Just to say l'll be home a bit late.
632
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,950
You're always home a bit late.
633
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,951
Yeah, well, this is going to be a bit later.
634
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:26,996
(Doorbell rings)
635
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,956
- Yes?
- Evening, ma'am.
636
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,430
- We're from the Evangelical Church...
(Baby starts crying)
637
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,559
..bringing you our message of hope
and salvation.
638
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,198
(Baby screams)
639
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,236
And patience?
640
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,276
Excuse me.
641
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,076
JENNY: Even Adam couIdn't take this Iong
to buy a bottIe of wine.
642
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,277
Maybe he's having trouble choosing.
643
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,078
Do you think he went to Rachel's?
644
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,832
No, she's not in.
645
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,350
lsn't Simon a black belt?
646
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,237
Get your car keys.
647
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,430
And so to recap.
Be clear about your bottom line.
648
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,433
Settle for nothing less.
Use counter arguments.
649
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,196
lf all else fails, issue an ultimatum.
650
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,953
David? We're getting a nanny.
651
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,150
- Karen, l'm giving a seminar.
- l don't care. l want a nanny!
652
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,797
- We'll discuss it later.
- We'll discuss it now.
653
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:05,834
l am not prepared to leave my child
with some woman who, for all we know,
654
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,799
- could have a history of mental illness.
- We let your sister baby-sit.
655
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,475
We'll use a reputable agency
and check references.
656
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:17,758
You're happy, are you, if Josh grows up
thinking of someone else as his Mummy?
657
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,149
He'll know who his mummy is,
658
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:24,279
though you're so rarely there he could be
forgiven for thinking it's a one-parent family.
659
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,832
And where am l?
660
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:32,552
At work, providing for my family
and now you want me to provide for a nanny?
661
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:33,868
l can work part time.
662
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,794
No, l am fundamentally
opposed to the idea.
663
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,997
l will not share my house with a nanny.
664
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,149
David...
665
00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:46,279
Unless we get a nanny, you won't have to share
your house at all because l'll leave.
666
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,555
And l'll take Josh with me.
667
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,876
(Josh cries)
- Yes, darling.
668
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,000
All right. We'll get a nanny.
669
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,036
Thank you.
670
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,953
The purpose
of that role-playing exercise...
671
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:10,591
was to illustrate the four key points
of successful negotiation.
672
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,553
l know you thought it was real.
l'm sorry to disappoint you,
673
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,519
- but that lady was a quite brilliant actress.
- (Laughter)
674
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:22,912
Darling? l've locked myself out.
Can l borrow your keys?
675
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,551
Wet Wet Wet.
676
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,596
l hate Wet Wet Wet.
677
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,356
Typical.
678
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,229
- l'm sorry. l've got the wrong house.
- What's wrong with my house?
679
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,915
Nothing. lt's a lovely house,
but not the one l'm looking for.
680
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,911
You want to buy a house?
681
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,992
No, l'm looking for someone called Simon.
682
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,436
The estate agent? Snobby bastard.
683
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,193
Lives over there. White door.
684
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,512
- All right. Where is she?
- ln the shower.
685
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:19,479
- Where do you think you're going?
- Get off me! Who the hell's that?
686
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,028
- Where's Rachel?
- Who's Rachel?
687
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,669
- You said she was in the shower.
- She was.
688
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,951
Oh, you see...
689
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:30,996
l didn't mean that...
690
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,752
l didn't realise that you and him...
691
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,389
You don't know where Simon is, do you?
692
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,436
Next door.
693
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,036
Sorry.
694
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,916
Christ, you're big.
695
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:52,513
- Simon, right?
- Yeah.
696
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,910
- All right, where is she?
- Adam?
697
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,560
Hey, hey.
Excuse me, you can't just barge in here...
698
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,551
- What are you doing here?
- l had to see you.
699
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:04,677
- ls this the computer salesman?
- Systems analyst.
700
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,991
- Whatever that is.
- l'll explain it sometime. You can't pick him.
701
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,991
l love you too much.
702
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:13,516
- We don't have to listen to this.
- We're right for each other. l got cold feet.
703
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,956
But l'm ready to hang my shirts in your wardrobe
if you'll let me!
704
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,351
Oh!
705
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,113
l'm OK. lt's all right. l'm OK.
706
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,349
(Groans) Aaah...
707
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:31,158
Hey, hey, come on.
708
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:33,035
- Don't cry.
- No.
709
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,032
- lt's over. He's history, babe.
- l'm fine. Yeah.
710
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:37,235
Come on.
711
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,072
Hey, come on, sweetness.
712
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:44,591
♪ l've got you under my skin
713
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:50,153
♪ l've got you deep in the heart of me
714
00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:51,958
Jesus, what now?
715
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,431
♪ So deep in my heart
that you're really a part of me
716
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,389
♪ l've got you under my skin
717
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,195
♪ l'd sacrifice anything come what might
718
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:09,033
♪ For the sake of having you near
719
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:13,872
♪ ln spite of the warning voice
that comes in the night and the...
720
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:17,236
- l'm going to put a stop to this!
- Oh, Simon, no!
721
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,880
♪ Don't you know, little fool
722
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,276
♪ You never can win
723
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:25,476
♪ Use your mentality
724
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,636
♪ Wake up to reality
725
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,078
♪ But each time l do
just the thought of you
726
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,116
♪ Makes me stop...
727
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,756
Oops.
728
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,590
- What the hell's he doing?
- For crying out loud.
729
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,636
- Stop the car. Stop the car.
- Oh, my God.
730
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:47,556
(Thud)
731
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,596
(Angry shouting and struggling)
732
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,792
(Siren)
733
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,394
Hey, come on! Pack it in!
734
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,675
Come on, then. Hey! Quiet!
735
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,150
Now, then. What's the reason for all this?
736
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:18,276
ALL: Him.
737
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:20,271
Get out of my bushes.
738
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:25,871
Hello.
739
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,155
We'll start with gross indecency.
740
00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:30,800
- Oh, come on, it's not gross.
- From here it's very gross.
741
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,757
He's ruined my roses.
742
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,751
- Trespass.
- And criminal damage.
743
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,877
All right, Miss Marple, l'll do the charging.
744
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,315
- He ran into my house and attacked me.
- Assault.
745
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,039
He had a go at me and my boyfriend.
746
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,157
And battery. You've had a busy day, lad.
747
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:48,515
Right, in the car
and don't get any mud on the seats.
748
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,397
Stop! Stop! Wait, please.
749
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,515
- Do you wish to make a statement?
- Yes. Adam, l love you.
750
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:57,477
Rachel.
751
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:01,314
l didn't dare admit it.
l wasn't sure you loved me, but now...
752
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,311
Rachel, you don't know what you're saying.
753
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,836
Officer, it's my fault he's got into all this trouble.
754
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:10,959
l put him up to it. lf there's anyone
that should be facing charges, it's me.
755
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:15,475
l hate domestics. Look, nobody's hurt.
756
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,189
- Actually, l'm a little sore.
- Hey!
757
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,078
Now, l suggest we all put our clothes on
and say no more about it.
758
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,390
What about the damage to my garden?
759
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,799
l'll pay.
760
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,111
Will you vouchsafe for his conduct
if l release him to your care?
761
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,111
l'll look after him.
762
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:35,079
R-Rachel! You can't do that.
Officer, l want this man charged.
763
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:40,029
lt was you, wasn't it, sir, that l observed
bouncing this man's head on the pavement?
764
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,075
Right.
765
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,879
Move along now. That's all, folks.
766
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,795
Nothing more to see here.
767
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,111
PETE: lt's down to you, that is.
768
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,794
You know, having a go at Adam in the kitchen.
769
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,031
And what you said to him,
you could have meant for me.
770
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,792
l did.
771
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,677
Oh.
772
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,320
Anyway, l've been thinking.
773
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,394
lt is time we started a family.
774
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:34,838
Oh, Pete, l'm so glad cos
l didn't know how to tell you but...
775
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,795
l already knew
you'd passed your sperm test.
776
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,270
What? They told you first?
That's a bit unprofessional.
777
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,112
They didn't have to tell me.
778
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,114
- White smoke at the Vatican!
- Oh!
779
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,036
Oooh! l love you.
780
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:02,878
(Car horn)
781
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:04,916
(Jenny and Pete cheer and whoop)
782
00:50:05,305 --> 00:50:11,247
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