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1
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,374
Do you believe in
the existence of evil?
2
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,942
Help me!
3
00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:09,644
Oh.
No!
4
00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:14,682
30 years ago, I found
the Book of the Dead.
5
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,510
Now, because I read
from the book...
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,620
Missar-drah--
7
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,388
... evil has found me.
8
00:00:22,624 --> 00:00:24,459
You have no idea
what you're doing!
9
00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:26,428
Of course I know
what I'm doing.
10
00:00:26,528 --> 00:00:28,763
I wrote this book.
11
00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:33,401
Ruby is in Elk Grove,
Michigan.
12
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:34,836
That's my hometown.
13
00:00:34,936 --> 00:00:36,804
Ash?
14
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,406
Hiya Pop.
15
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,442
I got a problem.
16
00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,410
The book--
it did something to me.
17
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,811
It changed me.
18
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:44,979
Night night.
19
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,149
That's our cue!
20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,591
Evil, if you show your ugly mug
in this town ever again,
21
00:00:56,691 --> 00:00:59,600
I will take you down
and I will wipe you out!
22
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,601
You know me
as Ash Williams,
23
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:09,937
the hero who saved
Elk Grove from evil.
24
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:13,641
For 30 long years, I've used
this saw on monsters and demons.
25
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:17,440
But those battles are won,
so now I use it to--
26
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,582
Slash prices!
27
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,886
At Ashy Slashy's Hardware
Store Emporium,
28
00:01:24,986 --> 00:01:26,530
we got you covered!
29
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,910
You want paint?
30
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,226
We shake it till
we break it!
31
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,767
Ladies,
you'll love his nuts!
32
00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:43,237
What's better than
a handful of my nuts?
33
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,139
Ahh!
34
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,307
A long screw.
35
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,209
Whoa!
36
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:49,511
We got wood.
37
00:01:49,611 --> 00:01:50,745
We got rope.
38
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:51,546
We got rubber!
39
00:01:51,646 --> 00:01:52,947
We got it all!
40
00:01:53,648 --> 00:01:55,216
Die high prices
41
00:01:56,618 --> 00:01:57,885
Goodbye high prices!
42
00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:01,523
For that special someone,
we've got everything from
43
00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:03,558
- "D" to "ildo."
- Mmm.
44
00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:06,661
Because at Ashy Slashy's,
service is literally...
45
00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:08,896
Not.
... our middle name!
46
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,131
Whoo!
47
00:02:13,535 --> 00:02:16,538
Perfection!
And only 22 takes!
48
00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:18,339
- Welcome back...
- Yeah.
49
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:19,674
It's looking good,
Jefe.
50
00:02:19,774 --> 00:02:21,876
Marketing 101,
Pablo.
51
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:24,445
Know your audience.
52
00:02:24,546 --> 00:02:26,380
Look at them
lining up out there.
53
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,215
You're a badass!
54
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,552
You know I've never seen
a town lose its shit
55
00:02:30,652 --> 00:02:32,654
over a hardware
store before.
56
00:02:32,754 --> 00:02:33,755
Well, it's time
to wake up and smell
57
00:02:33,855 --> 00:02:36,323
the lightly scented
wax flowers, Pablo.
58
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:39,694
This isn't just a well-stocked
hardware store/sex-toy emporium.
59
00:02:39,794 --> 00:02:42,496
No, this is a shrine
to a local hero.
60
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,566
Those adoring
fans are my peeps!
61
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,776
All right!
62
00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:57,144
Hey, hey!
63
00:02:57,244 --> 00:03:00,648
Hello, Elk Grove!
Hey, hey!
64
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:04,619
Are you ready for some
hardware?!
65
00:03:04,719 --> 00:03:05,920
Come on in!
66
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:10,558
Fishing supplies,
aisle two.
67
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:14,261
We got guns, we got flags,
we got pornography.
68
00:03:14,696 --> 00:03:16,263
That's a little further
in the back.
69
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,833
Men, can't please
your wives?
70
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,534
Better check out
aisle seven.
71
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,603
Yeah!
72
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,138
Same problem?
No need to push, jeez.
73
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,390
Aisle 3 I think.
74
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,575
Hey, no need to push.
Leave me alone.
75
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:31,679
And last up we have Amy,
76
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:35,482
who I'm told has made
a startling discovery.
77
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:38,185
I see here, Amy, that
you discovered this item--
78
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,587
In the mud.
79
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,388
In the mud.
80
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,697
Well, I know. I'm sorry...
81
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,568
What I fucking
tell you, huh?
82
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,170
How many times
I got to tell you?
83
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,106
Pretzels are for paying
customers only!
84
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,241
Okay?
85
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:03,778
Next time I'll use your
head as a fucking cue ball.
86
00:04:03,878 --> 00:04:06,547
Who touched the T--
who touched the TV?
87
00:04:06,648 --> 00:04:08,582
How many fuckin'--
88
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,731
Hey, hey, it's me.
89
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:29,203
You were right,
evil's coming back.
90
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,606
And here you've found a book
written in ancient Sumerian.
91
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:35,910
Curious.
92
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,512
Does "curious"
mean valuable?
93
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,214
This appears
to be some sort of...
94
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,950
descriptive passage.
95
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,200
Conda anu astratta
alaktu...
96
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,488
You know with most
of these clowns,
97
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,523
I got to play hardball,
but for you?
98
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,525
Hose clamps
are half-off.
99
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,927
These are the best
in the world.
100
00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:55,362
You put them on,
they grip tight.
101
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,833
They don't slip, slide, stretch,
or tear like other things.
102
00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,634
... estaro ces reche.
103
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:03,437
Sarr des kanda...
104
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,640
Kanda...
105
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,377
kanda?
106
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,482
What?
107
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,119
Apparently you've found
an ancient text,
108
00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:22,456
known as the
Necronomicon-Ex Mortis.
109
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,659
The Book of the Dead.
110
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,761
Is that... good?
111
00:05:26,861 --> 00:05:30,732
The book,
is said to hold spells
112
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:33,667
and incantations that,
113
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,202
if read out loud...
114
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:40,410
... could connect the demons
of the netherworld,
115
00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:41,442
with our own--
116
00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:55,890
Most important
thing about a hose,
117
00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:57,624
is its width,
and its length.
118
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,460
Mostly the length.
119
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:01,628
Our scheduled broadcast
120
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,297
will resume
in a moment.
121
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,299
Hey!
122
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,334
I paid for
two more spots!
123
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,436
Okay, we got two
fish tacos.
124
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,437
Bam!
125
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,472
We got your
hard drive.
126
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:12,606
That's me. Thank you.
Enjoy.
127
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,375
Oh yeah.
Oh!
128
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,679
I don't know...
129
00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:20,470
Excuse me.
130
00:06:20,782 --> 00:06:23,918
Oh! Shit--
131
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:51,145
Who are you?
132
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:54,882
Well in Rome, they called me
mulier daemonium de igne.
133
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,383
Demon woman of fire.
134
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,652
And in Greece,
they called me
135
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,289
ágria ti mitéra
apó tin kólasi.
136
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,391
Fierce mother from hell.
137
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:08,362
But in these benighted times,
they just call me Ruby.
138
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,664
I'll take that.
139
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,966
No! No! Wait!
It's too important--
140
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,541
This is bullshit.
141
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,176
Whatever happened
to free speech?
142
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,511
Ah, this was my best
giant penis yet.
143
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,180
Yeah.
144
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,882
Thanks for talking me into this.
145
00:07:27,982 --> 00:07:29,216
You missed a spot.
146
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,452
Dick.
Less.
147
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:35,422
Can we just finish
and get out?
148
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,324
I'm in enough
trouble already.
149
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:40,261
Wait till they see what
I drew on Perkins' car.
150
00:07:40,361 --> 00:07:42,663
Is "man-gina" a word?
151
00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:47,301
Oh, Rachel, please.
152
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,170
I just want to get through
the next four months.
153
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:51,772
Since when did you become
Miss Bourgeoisie?
154
00:07:51,873 --> 00:07:53,507
Oh, it's simple.
155
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,309
I graduate,
I can leave here.
156
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:59,847
I leave here, I'm not here,
and that's a good thing.
157
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,382
All right, you still haven't
fallen for Elk Grove's
158
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,250
"small town charms?"
159
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,152
Excuse me?
160
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,454
The whole town's excited
because their ex-psycho killer
161
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,790
is opening
a hardware store.
162
00:08:09,891 --> 00:08:12,626
Kill me now.
163
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,228
Could be worse.
164
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,296
How?
165
00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:17,298
We could be like them.
166
00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:20,902
Oh, yeah.
That'll never happen.
167
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,537
Good, because
if you did,
168
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,872
I would have
to slit my wrists.
169
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:35,749
Oh, look.
Cougie's back.
170
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,287
Yeah, well,
fuck off, Cougie!
171
00:08:45,927 --> 00:08:48,429
Okay, we get it.
172
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,650
Costume, mascot,
very funny.
173
00:08:55,690 --> 00:08:56,403
You can leave now!
174
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,308
Hey, asshole!
175
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,144
Go away--
176
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,379
Shit.
177
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:08,582
Shit.
178
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,554
Okay, guy, now I'm mad.
179
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:26,233
Jesus, what is that?
180
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,137
Probably just some
varsity assholes
181
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,106
playing some
bullshit prank!
182
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:34,341
Ah!
183
00:09:36,978 --> 00:09:39,800
Brandy, don't!
184
00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:40,914
What is your problem,
fuckboy?
185
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,211
Help!
186
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,749
Help!
Help please!
187
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,755
And that's
the whole story.
188
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,823
Hey, feller.
Hey. How are you?
189
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,759
Ladies. Come on.
190
00:10:58,859 --> 00:10:59,826
A litlle somethin',
somethin'.
191
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,228
There we go.
192
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,365
Nickel for a tickle, huh?
193
00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:06,433
What do you say?
194
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:13,740
I don't believe this,
it's really him.
195
00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:16,343
- Oh, hey. Hey, honey.
- Mom! Mom!
196
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,450
There's this guy at the school,
you've got to come
197
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,180
help us, please!
What?
198
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,981
Hey, Pablo.
Yeah.
199
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,500
Ah, I got to talk to you about
something else.
200
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,119
If this is about
a raise--
201
00:11:25,219 --> 00:11:27,880
Actually, you don't pay me
at all right now, but--
202
00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:29,560
Son of a bitch!
203
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,591
Hey, whoa!
204
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,426
Lady!
There's a line!
205
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,429
Wha-- ? You don't
even remember me?
206
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,464
Well, the old steel trap
never forgets a rack,
207
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,601
but faces are
a little fuzzy.
208
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,469
Give me a hint.
209
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,573
I said a hint.
210
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,800
I'm your fucking wife!
211
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,110
My what?
212
00:11:51,112 --> 00:11:52,513
We need to talk.
213
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,553
Lady, I don't know what
kind of coo-coo juice
214
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,321
you've been drinkin',
215
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:01,588
but if you're fishing
for alimony--
216
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,925
One of your goddamn monsters
just attacked our daughter
217
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:05,892
at Kenward County High.
218
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,228
Daughter?! Ha!
219
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:09,396
You definitely
got the wrong guy!
220
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,132
Demons made you
chop off your hand.
221
00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:13,330
"I'll swallow your soul."
222
00:12:13,134 --> 00:12:15,536
Good sex is 30 seconds
followed by a cheeseburger?
223
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,390
Okay, maybe we have met.
224
00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:21,575
But in case you didn't
get the memo,
225
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,445
me and my compadres,
we buried evil big time.
226
00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:27,470
Elk Grove is officially
a demon-free zone.
227
00:12:27,148 --> 00:12:28,849
Jefe.
Yeah.
228
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,384
I think she's telling
the truth.
229
00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:40,227
Dude, I told you to get that
shit lasered off.
230
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,229
Nah, I didn't
do this!
231
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:43,597
It just happened outside.
232
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:45,980
I'm scared!
233
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,301
This thing is after
my little girl and--
234
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:49,503
All right all ready!
I'll check it out!
235
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,387
Just like old times,
eh, Pablo?
236
00:13:06,487 --> 00:13:08,689
Except for the wife part,
and no Kelly.
237
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,457
Actually, it's not like
old times at all.
238
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,327
Just drive!
Hey, easy for you sister.
239
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:15,610
You come waltzing
into my life,
240
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,963
yapping about demons
and daughters,
241
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,965
and I don't know
boo about you.
242
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:21,635
Candace Barr.
Yeah, and?
243
00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:25,710
Branson?
244
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,540
Branson.
245
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,100
Oh...
246
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:37,951
Oh.
247
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,755
Ah! My God!
248
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:45,125
Oh God! She's so good!
Oh.
249
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:58,405
Wait a minute,
Candace Barr.
250
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,509
Oh no, Candy Barr?
251
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:06,680
Well, this daughter
of ours,
252
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,849
I'll bet she thinks
I'm pretty special, huh?
253
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,116
Dream on.
254
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,785
I told her her old man
was some crack dealer
255
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:12,853
who got shanked in prison.
256
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:13,954
What?!
257
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:15,356
Well, it was easier
than admitting
258
00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:18,392
I'd hooked up with
some psycho saw-boy!
259
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:21,828
Oh, okay, but I call
B.S. on the daughter.
260
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,964
I was using my lucky rubber
all through the odds,
261
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,500
and that sucker
went 50 and 0.
262
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,369
Oh, oh, oh.
263
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:31,938
Just drive!
264
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:34,267
Candalier boncelo....
265
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,185
Kanda.
266
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,454
Abomino.
267
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,796
God, that smell.
268
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:38,799
This monkey farm hasn't
changed in 30 years.
269
00:16:38,899 --> 00:16:40,200
The caller you are trying
to reach is unavailable.
270
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,635
She's not answering.
271
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,804
You actually
went to school?
272
00:16:43,904 --> 00:16:46,507
Yeah, these halls have
some sweet memories.
273
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:47,808
Met my first
Linda here.
274
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,247
Hey, give me
a second.
275
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,160
What are you doing?
276
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,386
I'm sorry, I don't
even know you,
277
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,422
but did I make a mistake
coming to Ash for help?
278
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,960
Ever since I hooked up
with El Jefe,
279
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,996
I've seen a lot of weird
shit go down.
280
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:11,965
He's always
had my back.
281
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:14,300
Well,
almost always.
282
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,690
There was this one time
I got cut in half.
283
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,303
What?
284
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,773
Yeah, but Ash went back
in time to save me.
285
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,609
It was so cool,
but also really weird,
286
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,378
because when we got back,
nothing seemed to have changed.
287
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:28,281
Maui Wowie.
288
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,651
It's my emergency stash.
289
00:17:30,751 --> 00:17:33,530
I'll just put this bad boy away
for the appropriate time.
290
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,488
Brandy?
291
00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:18,310
Shh, shh!
292
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:29,209
Whoever's out there,
fuck off!
293
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:33,914
Brandy?
294
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:36,717
Wow.
295
00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:39,520
She's not yours,
dumb-ass!
296
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,621
Mom!
297
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:42,756
Honey!
Thank God!
298
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:43,957
Back off, Mama Bear!
Hey!
299
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:45,291
What are you doing?
300
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,270
The ink on my buddy
went nuclear,
301
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,863
that means evil is just
around the corner.
302
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,600
So your little peach could
be a bowel-sucking hell beast.
303
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,836
Mom, what's the chainsaw
geek doing here?
304
00:18:55,936 --> 00:18:58,338
Oh, honey, uh, I don't know
how to tell you this,
305
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,841
but Ash, he's- he's ah-
he's your--
306
00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:03,977
What she's trying
to say is, I'm your pop.
307
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,479
Father dearest.
308
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,549
The old sperm shooter.
309
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:10,283
What?
But you can call me Dad,
310
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,686
unless you're a Deadite,
then you can go fuck yourself.
311
00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:14,870
So come on now, demon-spawn!
312
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,556
Show Daddy
what you got!
313
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,627
Okay, nobody move.
314
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,370
Alleged Daughter,
who else is in the room?
315
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,374
Um, you...
316
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,642
the guy with the hair...
317
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:36,977
... my mom, and--
318
00:19:45,586 --> 00:19:47,253
Rachel?
319
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:05,939
Hey, Brandy's friend.
320
00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:09,676
You want to keep it down?
321
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:15,515
Oh! Oh my God! Rachel?
What have you done?
322
00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:33,934
What are you doing?!
323
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,587
Rachel!
324
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,306
Ah!
325
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,287
Ah!
326
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,405
Blow.
327
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:52,913
No!
328
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,830
I love you, Brandy.
329
00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,819
Oh!
Ugh!
330
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:20,730
Candy.
331
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:34,154
Mom!
332
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,641
Why you--
333
00:22:57,643 --> 00:22:59,245
No!
334
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:05,518
Ashy Slashy, soon there'll
be nothing left of you...
335
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:09,990
... we'll destroy your seed
and your whore daughter too.
336
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:13,426
Sorry jailbait, my dance card
is a little full.
337
00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:14,761
I'll have to squeeze you in.
338
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:16,296
Brandy!
339
00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:32,545
Oh!
340
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:35,415
Suck on that,
Harpo.
341
00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,122
Whew.
342
00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:49,395
What... what?
343
00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:51,164
I know.
344
00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,800
It sucks.
345
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,635
I remember my first
taste of evil.
346
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:04,344
Oh, Cougie!
347
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:06,790
They got you too!
348
00:24:17,230 --> 00:24:18,224
Ash!
349
00:24:32,873 --> 00:24:34,707
Ah! Whoa!
350
00:24:52,993 --> 00:24:54,494
Howdy fuckin' ho, boys.
351
00:24:54,594 --> 00:24:55,896
Miss me?
352
00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:04,237
Uh!
353
00:25:09,943 --> 00:25:12,478
Well, looky
who's back,
354
00:25:14,140 --> 00:25:15,882
and seriously rocking
the leather.
355
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,286
Who's the boy toy?
356
00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:21,955
Kelly was right.
357
00:25:22,550 --> 00:25:24,157
You are
the prophesied one.
358
00:25:24,257 --> 00:25:25,758
This is Dalton.
359
00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:27,593
He's with
the Knights of Sumeria.
360
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:28,761
The who with the huh?
361
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,530
It's an honor
to meet you.
362
00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,432
I've been waiting for the chance
to battle this ancient evil
363
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:33,733
my entire life.
364
00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:37,337
Yeah, he's
kind of a fan.
365
00:25:37,437 --> 00:25:38,538
Who's the kid?
366
00:25:39,940 --> 00:25:43,409
Oh, believe it or not,
that's my daughter.
367
00:25:43,509 --> 00:25:45,445
Sandy.
368
00:25:45,545 --> 00:25:47,113
Ah, Mandy.
369
00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:48,314
Brandy.
370
00:25:49,182 --> 00:25:50,850
And fuck you.
371
00:25:50,951 --> 00:25:52,785
We're still getting
to know each other.
372
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:55,788
Okay, team,
it looks like evil's back,
373
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:58,224
and Elk Grove
is ground zero.
374
00:25:58,324 --> 00:25:59,725
Kelly, Pablo.
375
00:25:59,825 --> 00:26:01,594
Other guy,
you up for this?
376
00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:02,996
One for all,
and all for one.
377
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:04,797
Uh, cute, but no.
378
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:05,932
Pablo?
379
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,434
Say it like
you mean it.
380
00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:09,902
Ghost Beaters are back!
381
00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:12,405
Fucking A,
right we are!
382
00:26:12,505 --> 00:26:13,773
And evil...
383
00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:16,142
oh, we're coming
for you.
384
00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:20,413
I think now is the appropriate
time Pablo.
385
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:31,924
Sandy?
23455
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