Original subtitles

Last time round, the family went on a vacay...

CHEERING

..to celebrate Marnie's wedding.

Generations of Geordies came together.Aw.

BOTH: Bah, bah, bah, bah.

Ow! CHARLOTTE LAUGHS

Literally got me in the balls.

And mashed up the men.

Let's get absolutely fucked up tonight.

CHEERING

But it wasn't all plain sailing.

CRYING Whoops.Oh, Oax.

Got you a little...

BABY CRIES, THEY LAUGH

SCREAMING, CRYING

Cos living together again...

We need to be cleaning these after usage, guys.

..proved too much for some.

You've came in and attacked us and made us feel like crap.

I never said it was you!

As soon as I said earlier... You're talking shit.

I'm not, as soon... You're talking shit.

Things went snap...

It's obviously a big deal to you, Marnie.

..crackle...

How do you feel about the whole Charlotte situation?

No matter what I say to youse,

Charlotte will have a go at us, and you'll have a go.

..and fucking pop!

I feel like I've let me family down by bringing them

into an environment that this just happens in.

But this time...

..us Geordie's are reuniting and heading east.

Hello, Thailand! The Geordies are here, baby.

There we are.

CHEERING

Cos I'm only getting married, like.

First night, boys. Come on, boys, let's go, let's go.

It'll be one massive stag do...

CHEERING

Nathan, Nathan. Come on.

Thailand! Whoo!

CHEERING

..a little bit of a hen do...

SCREAMING

Oh, my God.

..and some epic full moon.

CHEERING

Howay, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.

Not even pedalling!

THEY SCREAM

LAUGHTER

Anyone for ping-pong, like?

Everyone's here to party

Everyone's here to party

Everyone's here to party

Everyone's here to party

Let's party, party

Let's party hard

Get naughty, naughty

Let's party hard

Gonna go all night, all night. #

Here we are, mate. Here we go.

Are you excited? Yeah.

The start of the stag do.

I cannot wait, mate. I'm so excited. I know, I can tell.

I'm so excited, I've got butterflies in my stomach.

Last time round, I got engaged to the mother of my son,

love of my life, Vicky.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

We've had our engagement party

and have been balls deep in wedding planning ever since.

And here is our car. Ha-ha! Luxury, is it?

Is this how it's gonna be the whole time?

I'm spoiling you.

I've asked James to be my Geordie best man

and be in charge of my stag,

and he's pulled an absolute blinder.

'He's gone and organised it in Thailand,

'of all fucking places.'

What an absolute legend.

I'm absolutely buzzing, mate.

Like, I couldn't have picked a better place than this.

Thank you so much for sorting this out.

There's been a lot of invites sent out,

so there could be a lot of surprises along the way.

This is going to be amazing!

You're gonna remember this stag do for the rest of your life.

It's either gonna be great,

or it's gonna haunt you. KYLE LAUGHS

I haven't decided which yet.

Let's go!

Locked and loaded, about to blow

Get ready, get set Let's go! #

We're all in Thailand for Kyle's stag do.

But when James sent the booking confirmation,

there was no mention about Bangkok.

We're in Thailand, for God's sake. Bangkok is the place to be!

So the girls, and Nathan,

we have took a little bit of a detour.

We have got a hotel which is right near the famous Khaosan Road,

where it's all going on, and we are gonna go fucking wild.

Follow me, guys...

Oh, Jesus Christ! You're gonna get run over.

Oh, thank gosh.

We're gonna get arrested. Come on. Let's go.

We are gonna be late to the stag do, and James will not be happy,

but does it look like I give a fuck? Do I heck.

CHEERING

Hello, Thailand! The Geordies are here, baby!

When I say Thai, you say land.

Thai! ALL:Land!

Thai! Land!

'I want Chloe to get a face tattoo.'

I want to wake up in a fridge.

'I want Sophie not to know her own fucking name.

'I want Abbie to piss herself.'

I want to eat scorpions. I want to get in a tuk-tuk.

I want to do everything that Bangkok has to offer in 48 hours.

Bangkok, Bangkok, Bangkok, Bangkok...

SPEEDING UP: ..Bangkok, Bangkok, Bangkok!

Oh! Oh!

Ugh, the water went in my mouth! I'm gonna get the shits.

Oh. SOPHIE:Oh, Nathan.

I want to get off now. THEY CHEER

Wow. What the hell?

'I've seriously went all out on this villa, mind.

'We've got two pools, there's two bedrooms -

'one for the boys, one for the girls.

'And we've got a separate couple's room.'

Howay, we've even got steps going down to wor own beach.

And enough towels shaped like elephants

to make a fucking herd.

I wonder if we'll be able to fill all these.

Hopefully, we will be able to.

Well, everyone's invited, even people you don't like.

THEY LAUGH

I have no idea who's gonna show.

I just know James has invited everyone.

Cheers! Paradise. To the stag.

Yeah.This is gonna be some trip, this, you know?

Last time around, my best mate, Kyle,

threw the best leaving party I could ever ask for,

the "Wey Aye Dubai" party. It was unbelievable.

But now I'm back.

Dubai was amazing. Me and Leah lived there for seven months.

'We went, we experienced it, but after a while,

'it did get a little bit lonely.

'But now Kyle's asked me to be his Geordie best man.'

He done such a good job planning my leaving party,

it's only fair that I make this the best stag do in history.

So, who do you think's gonna come out, then?

Hopefully, more than that come to the engagement party.

JAMES LAUGHS Aye, I know. Tell us about it, mate.

Fucking hell, I thought I was really liked,

and then it was only you and Leah and Sophie and Jordan.

'Everyone was invited to my engagement do.'

Ricci and Jay both said that they were gonna come,

and they were an absolute no-show.

Not only that, but they also didn't tell me they weren't coming.

'It's meant to be the four of us, me, James, Ricci, and Jay,

'who are meant to be best friends in the house.'

It was shit crack.

You came back from Dubai,

Sophie and Jordan came all the way up from London.

Fucking Ricci and that only had to come round the corner,

and they didn't end up coming.

It really upset us

that Ricci and Jay didn't come to me engagement party.

I'm gonna see if they mention it, and if they don't,

I'm gonna have to find a time to bring it up cos it's just not on.

It's gonna be mint. We're gonna have such a good time.

I'm not letting anyone spoil it. I'm not.

Welcome to Thailand, brother. Come on!

So excited. I cannot wait to see how many times

we're gonna stitch Kyle up as well, though.

This is gonna be the best Geordie getaway ever.

There was a load of drama last time in Cyprus,

but let's face it, that was the girls.

Us lads, we're sweet.

What about the lads?

All of the lads, do you think they're gonna be back, or what?

Maybe Scotty T. Wait, who (?)

Maybe Aaron. Maybe Gaz. It'll be like the Avengers Assemble.

What's your game plan out here, then?

Are you looking for love,

or are you riding the single life? What's the plan?

To be honest, I've been loving raving and misbehaving.

Obviously, me and Chantelle

were dating each other for a few months.

Since last time, I've been on a bittersweet roller-coaster.

Me and Chantelle got together, and it was great.

We went out, had a hell of a lot of fun,

and it almost felt like we were dating.

But then it went a little bit wrong.

We went our separate ways, and I threw myself into my DJing,

which is starting to take off. I'm back with my best friend, Jay,

and we're gonna bring this party to Thailand.

Stag do, that is only going one way, and that is messy.

Ready to blow

Ready to blow... #

ALL CHEER

This was such an amazing idea to come to Bangkok,

and the fact I'm with these three legends

is the icing on the cake.

Who do you think is coming back? Like, what about if Sam came back?

If he came back, how would you be? I'd be totally fine with it.

There's been a few occasions where he's messaged us.

Oh! I have not entertained it at all.

Last time round, it was a little bit difficult for me,

seeing my ex Sam,

but I did get the closure that I needed,

and I feel so much better.

This time round, it's gonna be really good for me.

I'm happy, I'm healthy,

and I'm in a really, really good relationship.

I've got a feeling, Gary. Imagine how nervous he's gonna be.

When he did leave, he literally walked away from all of us.

Didn't want anything to do with anyone. Didn't speak to anyone.

It is so good to be in Bangkok, but...

since Cyprus, it has just been a big mess.

Last time, when Marnie and Charlotte fell out,

I was just completely caught in the middle

between my best friend and my cousin.

Marnie didn't really wanna see us or speak to us any more.

And then Casey got involved on social media,

and Jordan jumped to my defence.

And when that happened, them two fell out.

Since then, me and Marnie have messaged each other.

But there's been no progression

on trying to get our friendship back on track, and still,

I do not know what I've done that bad

to make her stop talking to us.

No matter what, for life, we're always gonna have Bangkok.

THEY CHEER

Here you gan, mate. Nice one. Cheers, mate.

Vodka diet coke - watch your figure.

Oh, aye. Cheers, mate.

Feels so good to be me

From the streets to the G-O-A-T

Yeah, I was made for this

I'm a living legend Bring proof to the myth

I'm double-oh slick... #

'Look at this place, man. It's fucking paradise.'

Since Cyprus, I've had one of the best years of me life.

Me and Leah, we're gonna move in together,

and we're taking the next step.

Hey, lads, what's happening? The boys!

Hey. Wow!

This place is next level, isn't it?

Getting back with Kyle, James and Jay,

this is what I'm talking about.

'The four of us having fun in the sun.'

It's gonna go fucking off.

Cheers, boys. Yeah.

To Kyle's stag do. Yes!

After last time, with Cyprus, we wanna try and get everyone,

like, not arguing, not... Do you know what?

I don't think we can ever say there's never gonna be arguments.

What about Chantelle? JAMES LAUGHS

I didn't hear about this,

but then I seen the photos online of youse both together.

I'm just catching up with the boys,

and instantly, they wanna ask about Chantelle.

Bloody hell, I knew this was gonna happen.

We spent some time in London, then she went off to America.

And then January and February,

we were kinda in each other's pockets week after week after week.

Then we spoke on a Thursday,

and then my dog died on the Saturday,

and then my mate passed three weeks later.

But she never got in touch with us, which, yeah, it kinda pissed us off.

Me and Chantelle spent a hell of a lot of time together after Cyprus.

I'd take her to the gym, we go out for meals and drinks.

We did everything that you would do in a relationship

apart from be in a relationship.

When my dog, Harley, passed away, and then my mate within three weeks,

I was absolutely gutted. She completely ghosted us.

It proper did hurt.

And I don't know how it's gonna go if I do see her again.

How was it left? You haven't spoke? No, I haven't spoke to her.

You just don't speak? Oh, my God, youse two aren't gonna get on well.

I know us Geordies have had wor drama over the years,

but it's time for us to all pull together

and make sure Kyle's stag do is an absolute blinder.

Where do you think the girls are, then, lads?

No idea. Oh, they're probably lost.

I'll give Sophie a ring.

ALL:Hey!

THEY CHEER

Where are youse at?

We're in Bangkok. We're in Bangkok, baby.

Youse are in Bangkok?

What the fuck are them lot doing in Bangkok?

Why are they not here? We're in Ko Samui.

We'll see you soon...

We might even stay here! Or maybe we won't.

ALL:Bye!

Hurry up and get here. Right, see youse later.

I think James might be a bit annoyed that we're here instead of Ko Samui.

Howay, let's go fucking get pissed. SOPHIE:Let's party!

I'm not gonna make a massive deal out of it yet,

but if they spoil my Kyle's stag do,

I will be very, very angry.

ALL:Geordie Shore, wey aye!

Youse, look at that. Look at the alligator.

Aw, I don't like that.

When I was in the jungle, I ate that!

I thought the Bigg Market back in the Toon was mad,

but we are walking down Khaosan Road,

and it is absolutely next level.

Yeah!

CHEERING

It's 300 degrees,

there's food stalls, everyone's partying,

and I look like I'm dressed for a wedding.

This place is insane. Like, what the hell?

This Bangkok detour is the best idea ever.

It's like nowhere else on Earth.

Oi, oi! THEY LAUGH

Right, come here. Oh, my God!

Nathan, I will give you 20 quid...

No. ..if you eat one of these.

I'm so glad to be back on holiday with the family

cos I missed out on Cyprus last time

because I was in the jungle doing I'm A Celebrity Australia.

Although, by the sounds of it,

I dodged a bullet last time with all the drama.

But Thailand is very spiritual,

so this holiday is gonna be happy and chill.

Plus, I'm here, so we're all gonna get along.

Oh, my God, tarantula!

Go on, Nathan!

Oh, my God!

'That is a flippin' tarantula.'

I've never seen owt like it.

Eat it!

Come on, Nathan, do it. ALL TALK AT ONCE

Are you OK, hun?

I'm scared of spiders. Do it! Mind over matter!

I've put a lot of things in my mouth, but fuck me, a spider?

Go on, Nathan!

Nathan, Nathan. Go on, Nathan...

It's s-spiky.

Seeing a fucking spider burnt to a crisp,

looking like a bit of shit on a stick...

I mean, you go for it, hun,

but that wouldn't certainly be fucking me.

You've had worse, come on. SOPHIE SHOUTS

Done. Yes!

Go on, he's nearly there, he's nearly there.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

This spider's legs have even got fucking legs.

There's so much hair on it, I can see its eyes,

and its pincer... Eurgh, it's making me...

Nearly there, it's nearly there.

Nathan, Nathan, Nathan. Go on, Nathan! Yes!

THEY CHEER

Oh, my God, its leg's on his neck.

Its leg's on his neck. NATHAN GAGS

It's the big thing at the end, its bum -

eurgh, it's full of juice. HE GAGS

It's gonna make me feel sick.

HE COUGHS

Bye, darling. Bye.

Howay, let's go in the club, wash that down, darling.

Whoa, Abbie! Jesus. She always fall doon.

Rooftop club! Right on top.This one?

Rooftop club!This one, baby. How do you get in?

'This place is amazing, but it is full on,

'and we've been up for 24 hours.'

I think we've got to go somewhere where we can chill out

and recharge our batteries.

I'm really pissed. You are?

I am, I'm smashed. I'm mortal.

I'm not gonna lie, I've got the worst jet lag,

it's been a big day. It has.

And it is... I've nearly been up for 24 hours.

I know. So if youse are staying out...

No, don't leave us. ..I'm gonna call it a night,

just for tonight, but I'll be back out tomorrow.

Bye, Grandma. Bye. I love youse.

Bye.Love you. Bye, Mam. Love you.

I am tired, but if I'm honest,

I just want a little bit of time on my own right now.

I was hoping to come out here and de-stress,

but I'm just still really apprehensive about what can happen.

Do you think Sophie's all right? I think she's thinking about Marnie.

Marnie has literally said that Sophie has not been there for her,

not supported her, and then she said to Sophie

that she's not had her back, but Sophie's like,

"Well, you're my cousin,

"and Charlotte's my friend, so I can't take sides."

But Marnie's hurt as well, like, I spoke to Marnie.Yeah.

But I literally do not want to be involved.

I've messaged Marnie and asked her if she's coming.

And twice, she's told me she's not.

And twice, I don't believe her.

If Marnie and Sophie came face-to-face on this holiday,

I don't think it would be a pretty sight.

I think it'd be very explosive.

I think there'd be tantrums, there'd be tears.

I can't see this being resolved any time soon.

We just need to let them crack on. Tonight, it's not called Bangkok.

Tonight, it's called "Bang-Balls". We've got it by the balls,

we're taking it, we're seizing the shaft,

we're seizing the head, we're wanking this dick off.Oh.

We are taking Bangkok by its all!

There is a whole city of clubbing out there,

and we have seen none of it.

Let's go. Howay, then. Come on.

Shots. Let's get Bangkok-ed.

I just hope that James and Kyle aren't mad at us,

cos we will see them soon.

Maybes.

Tonight, it's all about Kyle and his first night on the stag.

THEY LAUGH

Youse all look good. You're gonna look even better.

You're gonna look real tasty. JAY LAUGHS

Are you ready? What you got?

Are you ready?Are you ready? Go on, then.

RICCI CHUCKLES

THEY LAUGH

I'm gonna be boiling in that. Red hot.

Everyone knows, on any stag do, you've got to stitch the groom up,

so I've got him some horrendous outfits.

I mean, they're even worse than some of Ricci's.

Cheers, lads. Cheers, lads, first night.

First night, baby, let's go. Back together.

I cannot wait to see what Kyle looks like.

Here he is! Here he is.

RICCI WHISTLES There we go, baby.

I think you look good. Give us a twirl.

Oh, there it is. You actually suit it.

There he is. Put the hat on.

There we go. You look like a stripper.

Fuck's sake, man.

What am I even dressed as? What is this?

I'm, like, cooking under here.

This is not real leather.

This is like cheap plastic leather that sticks to your skin.

This is like your nana's couch.

First night on your stag do.

First night, boys! Come on, boys, let's go. Let's go.

Hey.To Kyle's stag do. To Kyle's stag do. Let's go.

Looking real sweet. Down these.

'I'm in Thailand, and I've got three of me best mates with us.'

I honestly love these lads like brothers.

I'm looking forward to going out tonight

and having one hell of a lot of fun.

Tonight, we're hitting the party centre of Ko Samui.

That's why I booked this villa,

because we're right where all the bars and all the clubs are.

It's just like Magaluf,

but instead of fry-ups and pints,

you've got pad Thai and cocktails.

Fucking hell, here we go, baby.

First stag do, here we go, baby. Here we go.

It's a stag do, we're all gonna let our hair down,

and do what we do best.

'I'm getting asked for photos. I mean, howay, man.'

I'm better known in Thailand than I am in Tyneside.

This trip just gets better and better.

Do you know what? A tight, black PVC outfit for Kyle

was a great idea when I bought it back in Newcastle

in the middle of winter.

But now we're over here in 40 degree heat,

I'm just hoping we don't end up in a Thai A&E later.

It might be a stag do,

but I haven't went too hardcore on Kyle

cos at the end of the day,

we've got Vicky and my Leah coming out soon.

It's not just our girls coming out here either.

Holly's coming out tomorrow, but I'm not gonna tell anyone.

I want it to be a surprise.

Now, this is what I'm talking about!

This club is insane!

I fucking love Bangkok!

The drinks are flowing,

and you know what they say about first nights on holiday -

they always turn wild.

Come on, Chloe, neck it! ABBIE:

Oh, my God, Nathan tried to get naked,

Abbie's about to fucking collapse from dancing all night,

I can barely see out my eyeballs.

Let's get back to the hotel.

Walking across the grass now.

This is what... Nathan, well, you said...

Should we walk across the grass? Shh. Shh!

Walk across the grass. Everyone's in bed, man.

Boring.

I tell you what... Boring.

Abbie. Boring.

Boring. Boring. CHLOE BABBLES

What the fuck is going on out there?

NATHAN SQUEALS

SOPHIE:

CHLOE MUMBLES

Mortal.

ABBIE GIGGLES

Ah! Ow, nearly scratched myself.

What a night. I am so pissed.

You stupid bitch, and you stupid bitch.

Don't you dare, you fucker, fucker! Don't throw it, don't throw it.

Try and throw water on me again! Don't throw it.

'I should've known, no matter where I am in the world,

'whether it's Thailand, Newcastle, or on the fucking moon,

'I'm never gonna get any sleep with this lot around.'

NATHAN:

SOPHIE:

I really did want to come away and have such a good time,

but with everything that's going on,

I just don't know if I've made the right decision.

Good night.

WHISTLING, THEY CHUCKLE

This place is incredible. Waking up here this morning,

I actually had to pinch myself.

Like being in paradise.

Boys, wanna raise your beers? Second day of the stag.

I know, nice cold beer on the beach.Boys!

Big one tonight. Here we go. ..makes you better!

Shake some Like you wanna make some

Shake some Like you wanna make some

Shake some Like you wanna make some

We going up, we getting high We getting paid, honey

Make that money stack, do it

Put your back into it Ain't nobody got time for... #

Since you last saw me in Cyprus, I am obviously now a mother.

Mam life has definitely been challenging.

but it's also been amazing.

Alpha-Jax is... He's almost one now.

I'm obviously gonna miss him so much,

but he is with his dad, and Jacob is such a good dad.

I'm just so ready for a little bit of a break

and a little bit of time to rediscover me again.

Like you wanna make some

Shake some Like you wanna make some... #

Kyle's next outfit?

I'm not getting in another fucking outfit, like.

It's a stag do. Do it properly.

Just embrace it, man. Exactly.

Shake some like you wanna Make some, we going up... #

Hello?

BOTH:Hello. Who's there?

We going up, we getting high We getting paid, honey... #

ALL:Geordie Shore, wey aye!

Hello?

BOTH:Hello. Who's there?

We're on the beach.

Finally, someone's arrived on me stag.

And by the sounds of it,

it's a high-pitched squeaky voice.

It must be Aaron Chalmers (!)

Hey!

JAMES:Hey, there she is. Hello, everyone.

How you doing? All right?

Oh, it's not Aaron. It's Holly.

You're the only girl, by the way.

It's just us lot so far. Am I?

Me and all the straight lads? Lads, lads, lads!

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to see the boys,

even if the stag happens to be my ex,

but where the hell are Nathan, Sophie, Abbie, and Chloe?

The last time, obviously, you were pregnant.

I was massive, yeah.

50 pounds heavier than now! Crazy.

Anyone else coming? Any surprises? Don't know yet, like.

You've invited everyone, though. Invited everyone.

I don't think Marnie's coming. I heard she might not be coming.

'Aw, Ricci.'

We're meant to be giving Kyle the best stag do ever,

and already, you're bringing up

the Marnie and Sophie drama from Cyprus. Howay, man.

I obviously left Cyprus thinking that everything was kind of fine.

But obviously, I understand that I am best friends with Charlotte.

I get that it's probably a bit awkward for Marnie

cos we just don't have that friendship.

We never really have. But Sophie and Marnie are cousins.

It's one of those things where if these situations

had been spoken about,

they'd have been squashed straight away.

Last time around, I think everything

just got completely blown out of proportion.

'I'm obviously devastated that Charlotte is not coming.'

I know that Sophie and Marnie aren't speaking,

and now it's just all a bit of a mess.

Big one tonight. Big one tonight?

Coming out with us? Yeah, course. I'm so excited.

Last time, you didn't drink. Well, I couldn't drink, could I?

You'll have to make up for it. Holly G Shore's back now.

Is she?Love it. Oh! Come on.

Holly G Shore?

Last time I went drinking with Holly G Shore,

I got kicked off a Greek island.

Hopefully, the same thing doesn't happen this time.

Holly G Shore's back.

Let's get the red hair dye out. Whoo!

You're making it easy to breathe

You're making it easy

You're making life easy... #

Good morning, everyone. Good morning, fuck face.

Morning. I was so drunk last night.

I don't even want to look at youse.

I don't think I can show my face in Thailand again.

Babe, well, Bangkok's got you now. Bangkok has you.

I was thinking, let's just do something

a little bit more, like, culture today.

All right. Like, spiritual.

Last night was absolutely wild, and we're all paying for it today.

'I've come up with a great idea on how to cleanse our souls.'

I mean, after last night, it's the least that we can do for our bodies.

I'm thinking about the temples. How do you feel about that?

Ooh. I'd love...

Like, seeing all the amazing buildings.

You get blessed by Buddha. We all get blessed.

Guys, we need to be really respectful.

We need to cover up and everything when we go to the temple.

Speak for yourself. You always have your tits out.

Er, well, I paid fucking 50 grand to get them done,

so I'd hope so, darling.

You paid? Nah, you got them free for a spon.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I got them for free. THEY LAUGH

Love a freebie, youse,

I love getting stuff for free. Do you love a freebie?

Howay, then, let's get up and go the temps.

Will you make scrambled eggs? Absolutely not. I'm on holiday.

We're gonna live forever

Live forever... #

Right, Nathan, take it all in.

Whoa, I'm taking it in, baby. Take it all in, darling.

Oh, my God. What the hell? My God!

Thailand! Whoo!

Look, there it is, there. Oh, my God, that is unbelievable.

This is beautiful. I told you you'd like it.

Thank you. Unbelievable.

This place is unreal.

The temple is literally on the top of a mountain,

but where's the cable cars to get up there?

How many steps? 344.

What? No!

Are you taking the fucking piss?

Stop complaining. Come on.

One, two, three, four, five... Is that the turtle?

Six, seven... Are we there yet? I wanna get in there.

300 steps to go! 300 steps.

Youse, I can't do any more. I'm going now.

Come on. Is this the last bit, Chloe?

Final hundred stairs, guys. Oh, my God.

I wonder what we'll see when we get there.

Got 50 more steps to go. Stop complaining.

I wish I had my Apple Watch on.

The first thing we're gonna do is the sticks.

What you need to do is you need to get the shaker, shake it.

Whatever number comes out, you go to there, and that's your fortune.

I'm not an expert,

but I've done a lot of reading up on these Thai fortune sticks.

'So, all you need to do is shake it

'and whatever number comes out, that is your fortune.'

I just hope to God I get a good one.

Mine's really bad. Youse? Mine's really negative.

I'm really sad. I'm really upset.

It's saying that the person I'm seeing,

he's gonna cheat on us and using us for money.

I'm fucking sick of being a sugar mama.

Mine basically says that this current situation is stress.

It looks not good.

You are in charge by someone and will be investigated,

which will lead to the argument... Mine's bad.

..conflict, unbalance and the thought of leaving.

Everything will be stopped. It can't move on.

Mine literally says that because I'm not a doctor or a nurse,

I'm not gonna be successful and I'm gonna lose all of my money.

All that from just a few sticks?

'Brutal.'

I thought this was meant to be spiritual and enlightening.

Mine was actually really good.

There is good change in your life.

The agreement will be completed,

but you do not need to be in a hurry.

You are so happy with love as you wish.

Everyone around you is ready to give you love

and help you with, sincerely.

I'm glad that you got a good one. I know!

Sophie is the only one with good fortune.

Us three must've really pissed off some gods.

Maybes we shouldn't have stayed out so late last night.

You've got to look at the positive of everything.

There's got to be a positive.

It's a warning. Sophie, just cos yours was nice.

Walking up and down this temple has got me absolute Hank Marvin.

I have definitely got an appetite.

We're gonna go through the market and go

to this nice bar and restaurant that I have been recommended to.

Come on, guys!

Oh, my God, that is a full-on brain.

It's not, it's the lining of a stomach, I think.Chicken legs.

Ooh, you got all the dry fruit as well.

Abbie, I think you need a few dates! SOPHIE LAUGHS

Fucking hell, I'd love to. Can't get one.

Sophie's not wrong - I would love a date,

cos my love life could do with a boost.

Since last time, it's been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me.

I fell in love, which was great.

But when it ended, I was heartbroken.

I took some time out for myself, and I flew to Bali on my own,

which is one of the most scariest

but the most amazing things I've ever done,

and I just took some time to heal properly.

Now I'm here in Thailand,

a cheeky holiday romance wouldn't go amiss.

Hello. JACOB ON PHONE:'How you doing?'

I'm here. I've arrived. I'm safe.

'Who's this?

'Who's this? Look.' HOLLY GASPS

Moo Moo!

Say, "Hi, Mama!"

Hi, baby!

'It is so hard being a mam,

'but it just makes it easier having Jacob there.'

He has risen to the challenge of being a dad so well,

and I definitely wouldn't be able to leave for a week

if it wasn't for him.

Aw, bye-bye, baby. I miss you. 'Bye-bye.'

I love you so much.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Where the fuck's the girls? In Bangkok, aren't they?

I know, but, like, they're meant to be here.

Like, look at this table. This table's for them.

To be fair, they looked like they were having a good fucking night.

So, we've got them girls in Bangkok, but not everyone's there, is there?

Where's Scott?

I haven't lived with Scott in... It's got to be ten years.

If he comes, then you've got a wingman, you can go on the pull.

Oh, my God, Buck Squad 2.0. THEY LAUGH

Scotty T is like the Duracell bunny.

He never runs out of energy.

So if he does turn up, things could get a little bit crazy.

And that sounds good to me.

Anyone could rock up. It's a surprise.

Gaz? Chantelle.

Chantelle. I can't forget Chantelle.

I know, we need Chantelle here, don't we?Yeah.

THUNDER RUMBLES Wow!

Cue Chantelle arriving.

THEY LAUGH

"Whose ex is next?"

Big dick's just touched down in Thailand.

We've got Kyle's stag do,

and Scotty T is ready to get the party fucking started.

ALL:Geordie Shore, wey aye!

SOPHIE:Wow! ABBIE:Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Unbelievable!

Wow. This view is stunning.

'Going to the sky bar is a great idea from Chloe,

'but I'm starting to think it's a bit too posh for us lot.'

Me and you are back.

We're back, baby. We are.

Back.

And this time, I just know we're gonna have so much more fun.

It's been such a crazy 48 hours,

but it's so nice to have some one-on-one time

with me best friend, Sophie.

Since last time,

things have just been so, so different.

Like Marnie, she's just, like, totally cut me off from her life.

I just feel like I'm...

like, trying to... Make amends, and...

Yeah, but over something I don't know what I've done.

I'm just so glad that Abbie's here.

I can always rely on my Abs

just to listen to us and let me talk.

I love that girl so much.

If it's her wish for me not to be in her life any more,

then what can I do?

What can you do? What can I do?

Honestly, I wouldn't even want my worst enemy to go through

what you're going through. It's awful.

Bangkok is a massive distraction,

and that's exactly what I need right now.

Since last time, my dad has been diagnosed

with stage 4 lung cancer, and it has been a tough time

for all of my family.

When I found out, I actually just... I didn't know how to react.

I didn't know what to do. I was... I just went numb.

And I think I kind of shut down.

And I think it's only recently

that I've actually really started to process things.

It's something that... It's not gonna go away.Mm-hm.

It's something that's there, my dad has cancer.Yeah.

Like... It's awful.

You should never have them words come out of your mouth.

Like, I still... It's been nearly three years

since my dad's death, and like every single day...

It's all right, let it out.

VOICE BREAKING: Don't, I'm gonna cry.

I'll be there for you... #

It is scary. HE SNIFFS

CHLOE INHALES SHAKILY Love you so much.

The thought of losing a parent... Oh, wow.

The thought of losing a parent, it's just unbearable, like...

HE SNIFFS I don't know.

That's my dad.

I just feel like you need your friends around you.

You need to be around good people.

You need a break as well. I know your dad's going through so much,

but you need to have a break for your own sake.

Hearing Nathan talk does bring back memories of my own dad,

and I can really sympathise for him.

Like, it's such a hard, hard thing to go through,

and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I'm here for you. I know what you're going through,

it's the hardest thing you'll go through.

And I'm always here to speak to you, all the time.

If there's a positive I can take away from what's happened to my dad,

it's that you need to seize the day

and literally live life to the fullest.

I actually asked my dad if he minded me coming to Thailand,

and he told me to get on the fucking aeroplane.

So here I am, baby!

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Wow. Thank you so much.

Oh, my God, I heard it was posh, but this is another level!

I literally cannot believe that we are in Thailand. Can youse?

It's like, "What?"

I'd love a little holiday romance, you know?

Aw, they're the best. You can't beat a holiday romance.

You can't beat the intensity of a holiday romance.I love it.

Yeah, but then it all comes to an end, and that's when it gets so sad.

Like who? Like, like Scotty T?

Would you get with Scotty T again?

The last time I was in the house with him, I was getting with him,

but then he was also cracking on to Sarah and Zahida.

You had that fight with Zahida, didn't you?

Last night, when we all went out,

I got a girl back, but nothing happened... at all.

Listen.... Oh, my God.

Scott, I've been gone one night.

You fucked me over once, and now you've done it again.

I'd like to see if he has changed

cos it's been that many years since I've seen him.Surely.

Is he the same Scotty that literally

will just stick his dick in anything, or has he changed?

If Scott does turn up in Thailand, things could get interesting.

Because we do have a history. And I'd never say never.

I'm so excited just to be with Geordies again.

Cos, look, I love being in Essex, but...

you can't beat a Geordie girl and boy.Exactly.

Honestly, we're different breeds.

It's my first night out,

and do you know what? It is just me and the boys.

But I am actually looking forward to it.

Holly G Shore is back.

Get out. Out.

Ooh!

The gecko.

Fuck's sake, man.

It's like Jurassic Park in here, like.

Ooh! Fucker.

Oh, you fucker.

No, down, man.

Down. Down. Down.

Get down.

Ricci's telling this gecko to get down, like a dog.

Ricci, it's a gecko, it doesn't understand you.

You have to speak to it in Thai.

Out. Get out.

Yeah, get out. Shoo.

Yeah, go on. Flee to the woods.

Flee. Get the fuck in.

Ricci, one. Gecko, nil.

Nice, that shirt. I like it.

See, he's got the fucking glasses on as well.

Oh, aye, I love me glasses.

I'm gonna hunt you down

Yeah, I ain't playing around

I'ma take your crown

Man better run Gonna hunt you down... #

Hey, hey! Long time, no fucking see.

THEY LAUGH

Scotty, Scotty, Scotty fucking T!

Fucking hell, lad, nice to see you. What's happening, lad? You good?

Welcome to me stag. THEY LAUGH

Turbo T is back, baby.

Did you miss me?

I have missed you lot so fucking much.

Hello!

CHEERING

ALL:Yeah!

CHEERING

THEY LAUGH

Oh, my God! SHE SOBS

What I'm really liking this time round, everyone's getting on.

Surprise!

ALL EXCLAIM

Me and Sophie haven't spoke since Jan. A lot has happened.

Do you know, I feel a certain way

with everything that went down last time.

I mean, youse two said that youse were coming to me engagement party,

and then youse never turned up. That's a miscommunication.

I thought you wanted to do more of a couple-y thing.

It's fun tears.

Right. Oh, my God.

I just want it to be good.

You're getting petty. You're getting petty.

You just made my girlfriend cry.

I never, ever spoke to you, bro, in a negative way.

Do not fucking dare speak to me like that.

Do not speak to me like that! No!

Thailand's over for me.

You got to wait.

Can't be arsed with you.

I will never, ever speak to that prick again! Never!

SNORING

Oh, my God.

Everyone's here to party

Everyone's here to party

Everyone's here to party

Everyone's here to party

Let's party, party

Let's party hard

Party, party

Let's party hard

Get naughty, naughty

Let's party hard

All night, all night, all night. #