All language subtitles for Avocado.Toast.the.Series.S02E08.With.a.Side.of.Scrambled.Reality.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

We can't reach her right now but we're definitely

not canceling.

Yeah, we'll have her confirm over email.

♪ Bitch I'm done

♪ Didn't come to make friends, I just came to have fun ♪

♪ Bitch I'm busy

♪ Cause I'm a busy bitch

♪ Bitch I'm busy, cause I'm a busy bitch ♪

♪ Bitch I'm busy

♪ Bitch I'm busy

Yes I was waiting to see what it would take for you

to lose it.

It's like she's an entirely different person now.

I mean, why is she trying to sabotage us?

I worked by ass off because I thought

that Elle would be proud at it's just like

she doesn't see any of it at all.

It's so frustrating.

No, no, no, no, no, no, see babe.

That's your problem.

What is my problem?

What is she, your mom?

Why do you care if Elle gives a shit about anything

you do around here?

Because we're partners.

Are you?

Because where the fuck is she right now?

Oh my god, I know, I'm so fucking pissed

I could kill her.

Yes, kill her, that's, don't kill her.

But do something about it.

I am doing something about it,

I'm doing something right now, I'm working on the pitch.

Oh my god, you do this to us all the time.

Why are you always like falling on the sword

for this person who doesn't give a shit about you

just to make her happy?

That is not true.

Oh girl, you let Elle call you Jonathon

for like a year.

You let, I don't know, Patricia, treat you

like a servant.

Patricia took us to Cabo.

You've been praying for you Tami hookup

to take you on an actual date for once

and instead of asking, what do you do?

Don't answer that.

What does she do?

Jack shit!

That's right, jack shit.

Because you never set up any boundaries

for how you want to be treated.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, I'm an absolute doormat.

No, no, not anymore.

You are not some side character in someone else's story.

From now onward, you focus on this.

Yeah, you're right, you're totally right.

Okay, I dig this, all right, I moved us up,

I expanded our client list, I can do this on my own.

Oh my god, no, you've been doing this on your own babe,

I want you right now, tell me what you want.

I want to work here.

So close, not yet, just say it a little differently.

I want this company.

Yes, say it bitch!

I want this company and I want my fucking assistant back!

Yes!

I'm proud of you, I know that took a lot.

One second.

You can work.

Little top up for you babe, you are loved.

Dave, Elle, yours better watch out

because I'm fucking Jordan bitch.

It's like the Brittany song.

I love us.

Shit, shit.

Oh no.

Jordan?

Did you sleep here?

No, I'm just putting in the work

for the both of us I guess.

Okay, well I'm sorry about yesterday,

I had some personal stuff.

Sure you did.

Maybe shopping?

I, this is.

So is everything ready for the presentation with Dave?

He's going to be here soon.

We're going to nail this.

It's exciting, no?

Okay, I'll see you in there.

Psst.

Hey sis.

Is this disguise absolutely necessary?

To be honest with you, I was just really curious

about what you'd look like in a knitted cardi.

And I love it.

You look like crap.

Well I had a long night.

Do you remember the plan?

Yes, I'm going to wait to run in until you stand up

and say, that's enough!

Yes, yes.

And then we rendez-vous at the janitor's office,

for a little celebratory vape.

You have that on you?

Okay, stay low.

Thank you so much for these hormone pills by the way,

I'm feeling really good.

Do you think maybe they've just done the trick?

Like I don't need the surgery anymore?

Cause I, I am not bleeding, no blood, dry.

Chemical menopause-d.

Molly, you have endometriosis,

there is no cure.

Your cysts and thyroids may not get bigger

but they won't get smaller.

Yes, you still need surgery.

Straight shooter.

I can't just tell you what you want to hear, Molly.

That might get me better reviews but it won't

make me a good doctor.

I know.

What's scaring you the most?

I'm not scared.

I mean, I get that I can't control other people

but I think not being in control of my own body is.

No one's in control of that, what else?

Okay, well,

being alone through all this.

It's my fault, I put out this message

that I want to go off on my own

and handle everything myself and I don't need anybody.

And that's true most of the time.

But then people just stop asking if I need them

and something like this happens and I am looking around

but I don't know who to burden.

Molly, every single patient

has to go through surgery alone,

no matter how great your support system is,

you, you get that IV alone, you get wheeled

into the OR alone, you close your eyes by yourself.

Yeah, that's not helping.

What if being alone isn't such a bad thing?

What if it's an opportunity to face a fear?

Yeah, I think I saw that quote on Instagram.

Listen Molly, all we really need is you, me, my team,

we'll get through it.

And there's no burden here.

It's literally my job.

Okay, five stars.

Oh, don't rate me yet.

We still need to go through all the worst case scenarios

together.

Can't wait.

Now I received your scans.

There are a few things we need to discuss.

So Dave, welcome, and thank you so much

for your patience while we redeveloped this pitch.

Yeah, no problem babe.

Elle, we?

You give me way too much credit.

We all know she's the brains of this operation.

That's very nice, Jordan.

The slideshow please.

Certainly.

Uh, Jordan this is the wrong slideshow.

Nope, that's the one.

Remember?

You and I looked over this entire presentation yesterday.

Right.

That we did.

Uh, uh-huh.

So as you can see we've gone for something

with a little more humor here.

This mock up speaks to just how potent

your product really is.

What do we really know about vape pens?

They are fire, they're firey hot, super hot.

They're compact, yes, that is true,

using the wrong their is ironic of course.

They could cause lung disease.

That's meaning, not necessarily your vape pens,

just, you know, for legal purposes we do recommend

just having a small medical disclaimer at the bottom

of every ad.

Obviously there's no clear science on the side effects

of vape pens but skipping ahead.

Alternate posters, yeah, that's great, so you know

if you're not keep on that first poster,

these are some others.

Weed is worth the limp dick.

Okay, that one is funny.

Oh!

Yeah, totally, it totally is.

Oh yeah, I know we can just play with the tagline here

and this one, fact, weed makes you temporarily gay.

Yeah, how did you come up with these?

Oh you know, I just, I really, I have no idea.

See, that is why you get the big boss on board.

Elle, you're a genius.

You know, are you fucking serious?

Excuse me?

Everything just seems to work out for you, doesn't it?

Uh Jordan, do you want to just step outside for a minute?

No, no, don't tell me what to do, okay?

I will not be intimidated by you anymore.

Intimidated, when have I ever intimidated?

- Yeah. - Hold on.

This is how you talk to a colleague in front of a client?

You know what Dave, fuck off, okay.

I don't want you touching my campaign, period.

Okay.

Like, if you want to blow off some steam,

why don't you go do your nails or buy a purse?

You're embarrassing.

Hey, do not talk to him like that.

Oh now she cares.

Can we please discuss this later?

Do not interrupt me, oh my god, all you do

is like talk talk talk, like fucking talk.

It's my turn.

I left a very, very stable job for you.

The benefits were just like crazy, Botox Elle,

like four sessions a year.

That is literally impossible to get anywhere else.

And I left because I believed in you.

And when we got here, I thought that maybe

you and I could be friends.

We are friends.

Oh god no, stop it, okay?

We're not really friends.

We sat up here and I thought we were fine.

We start up, we finally get everything ready,

and then you leave?

You leave to go join some, what, hippie commune

to what, I don't know, do breathing out of your butt hole

for six months?

Hey, I wasn't butt hole breathing, I just,

I worked just as hard as you to get this place

- up and running. - And then you disappeared.

You disappeared, Elle.

And then I developed this.

You are 25 years old.

Not a syringe in sight to fix it.

Look at all of this, okay, I helped build this.

I did this while you were gone

and I have nothing to show for it, nothing, enough!

Oh no, it's the slides, Jordan always has

a back-up plan.

Latvia, it's okay.

Obviously there isn't enough room here

for the two of us.

Either you leave or I do.

Yeah.

And you, I suggest you get our dick out of your own ass,

you chauvinistic piece of shit because plenty of men

wear makeup and do their nails,

I can still kick your fucking flat ass

anytime I want because I do kickboxing twice a week.

Twice a week.

Giant little motherfucker.

He does.

Can you please, can you tell me what is going on?

You tell me, oppressor.

That, and I don't think he's been getting enough

sleep lately on account of being here all the time.

But I didn't fire you, I never,

I never would have fired you, I didn't have access

to my phone.

That cultist fucker.

Fucking lanky psychopath.

Fuck.

♪ Fuck

♪ Fuck

♪ What do I want, what do I want? ♪

♪ What do I want, what do you think I want? ♪

♪ Some more

♪ The kind I had before

♪ They say it on the kitchen floor ♪

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