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1
00:00:04,096 --> 00:00:06,390
Garbage day!
2
00:00:06,390 --> 00:00:08,809
Stan, you gotta come
check out this new truck!
3
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,311
- Nope.
- These things are top of the line.
4
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,398
Absolutely brutalize the bins.
5
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,995
Yeah, get some! What's this?
6
00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:31,415
- _
- Small group of people outside...
7
00:00:31,415 --> 00:00:36,253
So, the neighbors have finally noticed
our new solid gold lawn orb. About time.
8
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,589
No, they're over at Greg's house...
9
00:00:38,589 --> 00:00:43,761
- What?
- Stan, could you scoot over?
10
00:00:43,761 --> 00:00:45,012
Oh, I'll scoot over.
11
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,597
I'll scoot all the way
over to Greg's house
12
00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:48,599
to see what the great big deal is.
13
00:00:49,391 --> 00:00:50,893
Move it, geek! Comin' through!
14
00:00:50,893 --> 00:00:55,272
"This house has been designated
a historic place of note
15
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,900
by the Langley Falls
Historical Society."
16
00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:01,779
It turns out James K. Polk
once spent the night here,
17
00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:05,616
and a few of us are
extremely mildly impressed.
18
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:08,452
Stan, may I tie your robe for you?
19
00:01:08,452 --> 00:01:11,538
A notable house for a notable man.
20
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,875
I mean, Greg is a prominent
member of the community,
21
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:19,421
not some anonymous,
regular-degular nobody like you or me.
22
00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:24,802
Anyhoo, better get back.
I left Ma all alone at the house.
23
00:01:24,802 --> 00:01:27,971
Allie! Help!
24
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,809
Damn! I thought I locked her in.
25
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:37,815
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
26
00:01:37,815 --> 00:01:41,485
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
27
00:01:41,485 --> 00:01:44,488
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
28
00:01:44,488 --> 00:01:48,408
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
29
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:54,123
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
30
00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:56,750
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
31
00:01:59,044 --> 00:02:01,839
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
32
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,971
Oh, Jeff, you wouldn't know
anything about a $200 charge
33
00:02:08,971 --> 00:02:12,057
from Right Angler Bait and Tackle,
would you?
34
00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:16,353
No! I mean, what? Uh, weird.
35
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,980
Must've been cybercriminals.
36
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,022
Pockets, mister.
37
00:02:19,022 --> 00:02:20,858
Damn it, Hayley, I'm a grown man!
38
00:02:20,858 --> 00:02:24,319
And how am I supposed to
make my Super Mega Worm World
39
00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:26,864
in the backyard without these?
40
00:02:30,409 --> 00:02:31,869
Oh!
41
00:02:31,869 --> 00:02:33,453
- What's in the box?
- Okay,
42
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,789
as we all know,
I was no angel in my younger days,
43
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,583
back before I cleaned up my act.
44
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:40,210
So there I am today,
hiding under an overpass
45
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:43,297
about to carjack this deaf nun,
when what do I find?
46
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:47,342
A delivery truck I'd stolen years
ago and totally forgotten about!
47
00:02:47,342 --> 00:02:49,094
So, what's in the box?
48
00:02:49,094 --> 00:02:53,223
No idea. But there's 132 of 'em,
so hopefully something I can sell.
49
00:02:53,223 --> 00:02:56,185
Gold? Dildos? Golden dildos?
50
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:03,192
The 1987 edition of the
Encyclopedia Britannica?
51
00:03:03,192 --> 00:03:04,735
Oh, not to worry, though.
52
00:03:04,735 --> 00:03:07,070
Because with a positive
attitude and a little patience,
53
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:08,947
I can sell anything!
54
00:03:08,947 --> 00:03:11,825
Francine, do you want
to buy 132 encyclopedias?
55
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,161
- No.
- Damn. How about you, Stan?
56
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,496
Stan? Stan!
57
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,999
I agree! We do need a plaque of our own!
58
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,837
Ah, there is one golden dildo in here.
59
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,631
Franny? Hayley?
60
00:03:25,631 --> 00:03:27,132
Steve?
61
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:38,810
Francine, would you describe us
as a "notable Langley family?"
62
00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:43,315
Family? I've always considered us
more like a group of roommates
63
00:03:43,315 --> 00:03:44,858
that are related to each other.
64
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,319
And no,
we're not all that notable either.
65
00:03:48,224 --> 00:03:50,948
That's about to change.
66
00:03:50,948 --> 00:03:54,409
Glen Hanover,
Langley Falls Historical Society.
67
00:03:54,409 --> 00:03:56,787
Glen-dog! Come on in, brah.
68
00:03:56,787 --> 00:03:58,872
What can I snag ya?
White Claw? Absinthe?
69
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,541
Some... party favors?
What's your pleasure?
70
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:04,628
- I'm actually...
- Hungry? I can do ya a smashburger.
71
00:04:04,628 --> 00:04:07,464
You said on the phone that
several Founding Fathers
72
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,258
are known to have stayed in this house?
73
00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:11,385
If you say so.
74
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,679
Which Founding Fathers, exactly?
75
00:04:13,679 --> 00:04:15,639
Oh, all the big ones, George Washington,
76
00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:20,060
Johnny Appleseed,
and a whole lot of Benjamin Franklins.
77
00:04:24,093 --> 00:04:26,733
- I can't take this briefcase.
- All right, let's cut the crap.
78
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,652
What'll it take for us
to get our plaque?
79
00:04:28,652 --> 00:04:31,989
Mr. Smith, I'm afraid
only merit will suffice.
80
00:04:31,989 --> 00:04:34,199
- You can have one night with my wife.
- What?
81
00:04:34,199 --> 00:04:37,661
Thank you for your interest
in the Historical Society.
82
00:04:37,661 --> 00:04:42,416
Please accept this Historic Langley
coffee table book as a parting gift.
83
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,167
Two nights. Two nights with my wife!
84
00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:47,921
And a Historic Langley
coffee table book?
85
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:55,929
Three days and not sell one 'pedia.
86
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,765
Rogu, there's no shortcuts
to making an honest sale.
87
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,184
All I have to do is
remember my three P's.
88
00:05:01,184 --> 00:05:05,272
With "positivity" and "patience,"
anything is "possible."
89
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:15,866
Well, I haven't gotten inside a single
door and I've been shot six times,
90
00:05:15,866 --> 00:05:18,618
but that first sale is
just around the corner.
91
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,081
Where'd you get that?
Don't play with that thing!
92
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:29,171
Family portrait's just a bit askew.
93
00:05:30,005 --> 00:05:31,068
Aah!
94
00:05:32,841 --> 00:05:35,052
Hmm. Just comes right
through to the living room.
95
00:05:35,052 --> 00:05:37,971
Stan! What the hell are you doing?
96
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,811
Look! Right here in the book
my buddy Glen-dog gave me.
97
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,148
The "Silken Saltbox
Parlor & Comfort House"?
98
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,735
Super famous brothel back in the 1870s!
Look familiar?
99
00:05:51,735 --> 00:05:52,986
- No.
- Not really.
100
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,531
Yeah, I've never met
this house before, Mr. S.
101
00:05:56,531 --> 00:05:58,116
Sure you have. That's our house!
102
00:05:58,116 --> 00:06:01,828
Turns out our house has been
a historic landmark all along!
103
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,914
All we need now is some evidence.
104
00:06:05,957 --> 00:06:07,626
Stan, stop!
105
00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:10,504
Why are you so obsessed with this
idea of being "notable," Dad?
106
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:15,008
Is there some formative trauma
in your past we don't know about?
107
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,969
No. Actually, wait. Let me think.
108
00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:24,768
These society types may not have
ever paid us much notice before.
109
00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:27,687
But by God, they'll notice you now.
110
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,648
Now go be somebody, Stan.
111
00:06:29,648 --> 00:06:32,025
- Be somebody!
- Yes'm.
112
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,113
Out of the way, nobody!
113
00:06:36,113 --> 00:06:38,365
Didn't notice you there, kid!
114
00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:46,123
Someone, please! Help.
115
00:06:46,123 --> 00:06:47,541
Did you hear somebody?
116
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:50,710
I'm sure it was nobody.
Or at least a nobody.
117
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:01,638
So I guess that might have
something to do with it.
118
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,223
My poor little Daddy.
119
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:07,727
Maybe there's a tiny resemblance
to this old whorehouse?
120
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,396
Let's tear this place apart!
121
00:07:14,317 --> 00:07:15,402
Argh!
122
00:07:17,017 --> 00:07:18,518
Well, that was a mistake.
123
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,105
Aah!
124
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,361
Sixty-nining skeletons?
125
00:07:28,987 --> 00:07:31,823
S-Skeleton sex swing?
126
00:07:37,746 --> 00:07:40,040
Did you find anything?
127
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,628
Well, what do you think?
128
00:07:44,628 --> 00:07:48,924
Mr. Smith, this is quite possibly
the most notable historic place
129
00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:50,634
I've ever encountered.
130
00:07:50,634 --> 00:07:52,636
As you can tell,
I'm getting quite worked up here.
131
00:07:52,636 --> 00:07:56,974
- So is it plaque-worthy?
- Plaque-worthy? It's museum-worthy.
132
00:07:56,974 --> 00:08:00,477
Museum-worthy? Now, that's noteworthy.
133
00:08:00,477 --> 00:08:05,774
Noteworthy and pin-worthy.
134
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,403
It's like a plaque for my body.
135
00:08:11,738 --> 00:08:15,325
Say you have a report due on
gray wolves for biology class.
136
00:08:15,325 --> 00:08:17,953
What can you use? Shmargle-bargle.com?
137
00:08:17,953 --> 00:08:22,165
You'd need an encyclopedia just to
figure out how to use this darn thing.
138
00:08:22,165 --> 00:08:25,544
Now, for a truly
user-friendly experience.
139
00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:28,171
Gray wolves. You simply flip
140
00:08:28,171 --> 00:08:31,508
through the "G" volume to...
Hmm. Not finding it here.
141
00:08:31,508 --> 00:08:34,094
Must be under "W."
142
00:08:34,094 --> 00:08:37,597
Nope, not seeing it here, either.
Maybe under "D" for dog?
143
00:08:37,597 --> 00:08:41,393
You know what, probably just need to crack
the two-volume quick reference guide first.
144
00:08:41,393 --> 00:08:43,186
Wow, this is really confusing.
145
00:08:43,186 --> 00:08:46,523
Could you google "how to use
Britannica reference guide" for me?
146
00:08:46,523 --> 00:08:48,734
You know what? Never mind.
I think you get the point,
147
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:52,696
and see the value of truly having
knowledge at your fingertips.
148
00:08:52,696 --> 00:08:56,575
Ow! Paper cut. Anyway,
How many sets can I put you down for?
149
00:08:56,575 --> 00:08:59,036
Oh, I don't know.
150
00:08:59,036 --> 00:09:02,122
They do seem nice, but...
151
00:09:02,122 --> 00:09:05,042
Would you care to stay for some tea?
152
00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:07,711
I'm going to need a little
time to think about it.
153
00:09:07,711 --> 00:09:11,423
Ma'am, you take all the time you need.
How about now, will you buy it now?
154
00:09:11,423 --> 00:09:14,259
I'll need a little more time.
155
00:09:16,803 --> 00:09:18,138
No problem.
156
00:09:20,474 --> 00:09:23,477
The brothel was founded by land baron
157
00:09:23,477 --> 00:09:25,979
Cyrus Talmadge in 1868.
158
00:09:25,979 --> 00:09:29,858
But it was found by me,
Stan Smith, last week.
159
00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:31,943
Hi, I'm Stan Smith. I live in a museum.
160
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:37,282
Stan! There's cars all over the damn
lawn and mud all over the damn house!
161
00:09:37,282 --> 00:09:39,284
Ooh.
162
00:09:39,284 --> 00:09:42,829
Sorry, dear. Just the price
we pay to bring history to life.
163
00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:46,375
Clean up that mud
or I'll bring fistory to life.
164
00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:47,542
Hey-o!
165
00:09:49,252 --> 00:09:50,420
Is this it?
166
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:52,422
It's kind of just a dusty old room,
isn't it?
167
00:09:52,422 --> 00:09:57,219
Yeah, this place is... kind of boring.
168
00:10:02,557 --> 00:10:06,686
Babe! Did you seriously cut off
my Venmo teen credit card?
169
00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:11,024
If you want money, babe,
maybe you should try working.
170
00:10:11,024 --> 00:10:14,069
Oh, I don't work? Day in, day out,
171
00:10:14,069 --> 00:10:18,115
I'm up to my goddamn elbows
in squishy little wormies.
172
00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:20,117
Well, those aren't
the only wormies around here
173
00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,827
that have been all squishy lately.
174
00:10:21,827 --> 00:10:23,453
Oh, snap!
175
00:10:23,453 --> 00:10:26,456
Dude, you gotta check out this fight.
It's nuts.
176
00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:30,127
I just saw the blonde chick
shotgun an entire box of wine.
177
00:10:30,127 --> 00:10:32,129
This family is pretty interesting.
178
00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:34,756
Entertaining. Interestaining.
179
00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:37,759
Yes, we are. Follow me.
180
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:42,597
Why don't we get you a bit
more comfortable, mon cheri?
181
00:10:43,849 --> 00:10:46,977
Just gotta get this clasp.
182
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:50,522
Damn it! This thing is impossible!
183
00:10:50,522 --> 00:10:53,567
What am I,
Harry [BLEEP] Houdini over here?
184
00:11:00,073 --> 00:11:02,159
Can I get you anything
before you go to sleep?
185
00:11:02,159 --> 00:11:05,745
A glass of warm milk or
a goddamn encyclopedia?
186
00:11:05,745 --> 00:11:06,997
What's that now?
187
00:11:06,997 --> 00:11:09,291
I said would you like
to buy an encyclopedia?
188
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:13,712
Oh, I'll need a little more
time to think about that.
189
00:11:20,552 --> 00:11:25,015
Welcome to MoMaf, the Museum
of the Modern American Family.
190
00:11:28,119 --> 00:11:29,703
_
191
00:11:32,105 --> 00:11:34,065
Jeff, I... Hey, watch it lady!
192
00:11:34,065 --> 00:11:35,859
I could swear I had a 20 in here.
193
00:11:35,859 --> 00:11:40,739
Oh, what, now you think I stole
from you to buy worms? Look.
194
00:11:40,739 --> 00:11:44,034
- Check his hat!
- What the hell, bro?
195
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:47,078
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
196
00:11:47,078 --> 00:11:52,167
And here we see just a fraction of
the varied, and at times surprising,
197
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:55,587
self-pleasure material found
under Steve's mattress.
198
00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:57,964
Martha Stewart Living?
199
00:11:57,964 --> 00:12:00,008
He's gonna crank it right now!
200
00:12:00,008 --> 00:12:01,801
Based on her scat,
201
00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:05,555
our scientists believe the extreme
lack of roughage in Francine's diet
202
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:08,225
is the cause of her
frequent constipation.
203
00:12:14,314 --> 00:12:15,815
_
204
00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:18,902
- Stan!
- Ooh!
205
00:12:18,902 --> 00:12:21,071
That's right. It's me, Stan.
206
00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:24,491
How ya doin'? Stan Smith.
Nice to see you.
207
00:12:24,491 --> 00:12:28,078
- Is something wrong?
- No, Stan. Everything's wrong!
208
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:32,332
Why is the Historical Society
even taking part in this?
209
00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:35,335
The Historical Society
made some bad crypto bets,
210
00:12:35,335 --> 00:12:38,838
so we really need the revenue
from the ticket and cafe sales.
211
00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:40,590
What cafe?
212
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:44,594
Okay, so we got two Arizona ice
teas and a wet egg salad sandwich
213
00:12:44,594 --> 00:12:47,722
that's been smushed down to
the thickness of a quesadilla.
214
00:12:47,722 --> 00:12:49,766
That'll be $54.
215
00:12:49,766 --> 00:12:52,477
Want to make it a lunch combo?
For just 18 bucks more,
216
00:12:52,477 --> 00:12:55,438
I can throw in some Pop
Chips and a shitty apple.
217
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:09,703
I wonder what kind of tree that is.
218
00:13:09,703 --> 00:13:13,290
You know a good way to find out?
Those encyclopedias I'm selling.
219
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:16,501
You sell encyclopedias?
220
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:18,962
I do. Would you like to buy one?
221
00:13:18,962 --> 00:13:22,340
Oh, I'll need some time
to think about it.
222
00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:34,644
Ugh, Jeff, was that you?
Wait, why are you all in here?
223
00:13:34,644 --> 00:13:37,147
Because everywhere we go,
every hour of the day,
224
00:13:37,147 --> 00:13:38,523
people are watching us!
225
00:13:38,523 --> 00:13:41,568
That's right.
If it truly is an attention economy,
226
00:13:41,568 --> 00:13:43,069
we're gazillionaires!
227
00:13:43,069 --> 00:13:45,238
Then again, if it's a normal economy,
we're bankrupt,
228
00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:48,700
because I signed the house over to the
Historical Society back when this all started.
229
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,160
- What?
- What's the problem?
230
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,120
We're being noticed, being seen!
231
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,665
We want to not be seen for a while,
232
00:13:55,665 --> 00:13:58,168
you self-obsessed jackass!
233
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,587
I had no idea you were
so angry about this.
234
00:14:00,587 --> 00:14:02,213
Let's get out of here.
235
00:14:04,257 --> 00:14:06,635
- Okay, and go.
- What?
236
00:14:06,635 --> 00:14:09,679
All that raw anger was way
too good to keep backstage.
237
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:13,183
Ooh. Start with that thing about
me being a self-obsessed jackass.
238
00:14:13,183 --> 00:14:17,062
- Nice and big.
- Stan, you [BLEEP] lunatic!
239
00:14:19,356 --> 00:14:21,858
- Oh, yeah, that's even better!
- We can't do this anymore.
240
00:14:21,858 --> 00:14:25,320
We're gonna leave and hide out
somewhere no one can find us.
241
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,738
We want you to come with.
242
00:14:26,738 --> 00:14:30,825
You have to choose, Stan.
Us or the museum.
243
00:14:30,825 --> 00:14:34,245
Look at all these people,
Stan, all looking at you,
244
00:14:34,245 --> 00:14:36,373
a real somebody.
245
00:14:36,373 --> 00:14:38,958
You can't give that up now.
246
00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:42,629
I don't know what you're looking over
there for. There's only one of me, Stan.
247
00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:45,715
I'm staying.
248
00:14:45,715 --> 00:14:48,218
Then you're staying alone.
249
00:14:52,722 --> 00:14:53,807
Here, Stan.
250
00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:57,394
That'll be $8.
251
00:14:57,868 --> 00:14:59,010
_
252
00:15:04,442 --> 00:15:06,069
He do anything yet?
253
00:15:06,069 --> 00:15:08,279
Nah. Dude is forlorn as shit.
254
00:15:08,279 --> 00:15:10,657
I'm starting to regret
buying a yearly pass.
255
00:15:10,657 --> 00:15:11,825
Tell me about it.
256
00:15:11,825 --> 00:15:14,661
I paid 14 bucks for
this God-awful coffee
257
00:15:14,661 --> 00:15:16,746
and found a big chunk of muffin in it.
258
00:15:16,746 --> 00:15:20,250
Oh, I'm gonna have to charge you
for a coffee and a muffin then.
259
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:21,668
Sixteen more dollars.
260
00:15:21,668 --> 00:15:23,420
This place sucks now.
261
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:31,010
Stan, your whole energy of late has
really put a damper on attendance.
262
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,555
I just miss my family so much.
263
00:15:33,555 --> 00:15:35,557
- Do you know where they are?
- I don't.
264
00:15:35,557 --> 00:15:38,518
And you need to start asking
me before you hold my hand.
265
00:15:38,518 --> 00:15:41,104
- May I hold your hand?
- No.
266
00:15:41,104 --> 00:15:45,400
Listen, we're bringing in some new blood
to the house to boost ticket sales.
267
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,819
Lisa Vanderpump, Logan Paul.
268
00:15:47,819 --> 00:15:51,781
People the museum-going public
would be interested in seeing.
269
00:15:51,781 --> 00:15:55,452
Oh. well, I look forward to working,
and living with them.
270
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:59,205
You're not understanding, Stan.
We're firing you from the museum.
271
00:15:59,205 --> 00:16:00,707
I see.
272
00:16:00,707 --> 00:16:04,586
- May I hold your hand now?
- Okay, but just for a minute.
273
00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:06,546
Then you have to get the hell out.
274
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:12,260
- _
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
275
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,721
What did you wish for?
276
00:16:14,721 --> 00:16:18,141
To be honest, ma'am,
my one, true, fondest wish
277
00:16:18,141 --> 00:16:21,144
would be for you to please, please,
278
00:16:21,144 --> 00:16:24,689
please just buy an encyclopedia.
279
00:16:25,523 --> 00:16:28,026
Let me just get my checkbook.
280
00:16:30,653 --> 00:16:33,740
I know it's right here in the...
281
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:37,660
Oh...
You're never going to believe this.
282
00:16:42,123 --> 00:16:46,252
Thank you for your time, ma'am.
You have yourself a lovely day.
283
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:48,922
Okay, so this one didn't quite pan out,
but... Ahh!
284
00:16:49,756 --> 00:16:52,842
Rogu hungry.
285
00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:57,347
Oh, my God, Rogu!
We gotta get you to a Mickey D's, stat!
286
00:16:57,347 --> 00:16:59,891
I don't know how I forgot
to order anything for you.
287
00:16:59,891 --> 00:17:01,643
But what's this now?
288
00:17:01,644 --> 00:17:04,519
_
289
00:17:07,732 --> 00:17:09,526
I just wanna check this out,
won't be long.
290
00:17:09,526 --> 00:17:11,986
Don't touch my apple pie.
291
00:17:11,986 --> 00:17:15,740
The website says it's a
Benjamin Franklin museum.
292
00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:18,660
Things change. And don't I know it.
293
00:17:19,202 --> 00:17:20,537
- Roger?
- Stan?
294
00:17:20,537 --> 00:17:22,205
Whatcha got going on here?
295
00:17:22,205 --> 00:17:25,375
After my so-called "buddy"
Glen-dog fired me from my own house,
296
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:28,753
he at least set me up with a position
at this Benjamin Franklin museum.
297
00:17:28,753 --> 00:17:30,797
So it is a Benjamin Franklin museum.
298
00:17:30,797 --> 00:17:34,050
No! I've turned it into
something much more meaningful,
299
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:36,344
a tribute to the beautiful family
300
00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:39,889
I so foolishly chased out of my life.
301
00:17:39,889 --> 00:17:42,308
There's my little Steve,
hitting the books.
302
00:17:42,308 --> 00:17:44,060
Keep up the good work, champ.
303
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,979
Don't stay up too late studying.
304
00:17:45,979 --> 00:17:50,066
And there's Hayley, flying her kite.
Way to go, baby girl.
305
00:17:50,066 --> 00:17:54,153
You got it up all by yourself.
Daddy's so proud of you!
306
00:17:54,153 --> 00:17:58,658
And there's the lovely Francine,
negotiating with King Louis XVI
307
00:17:58,658 --> 00:18:01,494
for more funds to support
the American Revolution.
308
00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:04,956
She always loved doing that.
Perchance a kiss, my sweet?
309
00:18:11,838 --> 00:18:13,756
Stan, why are you doing all this?
310
00:18:13,756 --> 00:18:16,509
In the hopes that someday
they'll hear about this place,
311
00:18:16,509 --> 00:18:18,845
come see how truly sorry I am,
312
00:18:18,845 --> 00:18:22,599
and then hopefully,
eventually forgive me.
313
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:26,019
Oh, Papa, we already have!
314
00:18:26,019 --> 00:18:28,730
Yeah, Dad, you seem like
you've been through enough.
315
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:33,651
Steve! Hayley! And Francine!
Oh, I've missed you so much, baby!
316
00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:41,618
If you're ever in Duluth, call me.
317
00:18:41,618 --> 00:18:43,244
Aah.
318
00:18:43,244 --> 00:18:46,289
I for one don't know if I'm
quite ready to forgive you yet.
319
00:18:46,289 --> 00:18:49,626
Sure you're sorry,
but you still don't seem to get it.
320
00:18:49,626 --> 00:18:52,211
You still put us all on display here.
321
00:18:52,211 --> 00:18:54,005
We want our privacy back.
322
00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:55,465
We want our lives back.
323
00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:58,301
We want our worms back.
324
00:18:58,301 --> 00:19:00,762
We want our house back.
325
00:19:00,762 --> 00:19:05,099
I think I have a plan to do just that.
326
00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:08,561
With a little help from
our robotic replicas here.
327
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:14,567
Hanover! Give us back our house.
328
00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:18,196
You mean our house.
The Historical Society, that is.
329
00:19:18,196 --> 00:19:20,698
Oh, yeah? Remember the brothel?
330
00:19:20,698 --> 00:19:23,618
The reason the deed was
transferred in the first place?
331
00:19:23,618 --> 00:19:26,996
Well, I dug it, I staged it,
I faked the whole thing.
332
00:19:26,996 --> 00:19:28,039
- You did?
- What?
333
00:19:28,039 --> 00:19:29,666
- I could tell.
- Meaning that the
334
00:19:29,666 --> 00:19:32,293
deed was exchanged
under false pretenses...
335
00:19:32,293 --> 00:19:34,045
Ooh! Say "ipso facto,"
336
00:19:34,045 --> 00:19:36,422
this is the perfect opportunity
to say "ipso facto."
337
00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:39,175
- And therefore...
- Ugh.
338
00:19:39,175 --> 00:19:40,969
...null and void.
339
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:44,389
You say the brothel was fake? Prove it.
340
00:19:44,389 --> 00:19:46,349
I... can't.
341
00:19:46,349 --> 00:19:48,851
I think I know how to
solve this problem,
342
00:19:48,851 --> 00:19:52,897
with a little help from my
trusty encyclopedia here.
343
00:19:52,897 --> 00:19:54,273
He's right.
344
00:19:54,273 --> 00:19:56,150
There's an entry about the
Silken Saltbox in here,
345
00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:59,362
and it clearly states it
was located in East Langley.
346
00:19:59,362 --> 00:20:01,864
This house couldn't be it!
347
00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:05,618
Oh. I was just gonna kill him with it,
but your way works too.
348
00:20:08,788 --> 00:20:11,374
I know I was obsessed
with being a somebody,
349
00:20:11,374 --> 00:20:16,337
but there's nobody I'd rather be with
than you beautiful nobodies right here.
350
00:20:16,337 --> 00:20:18,172
Thanks?
351
00:20:18,172 --> 00:20:21,843
Oh, Stan, when are you finally going
to realize what I've always known?
352
00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:25,013
That absolutely nothing is
more important than family.
353
00:20:25,013 --> 00:20:28,307
Oh, my God. I left Rogu
at a gas station in Newark.
354
00:20:29,976 --> 00:20:33,146
You know what, he's a tough cookie,
he'll be fine through the weekend.
355
00:20:34,188 --> 00:20:37,233
I promise all of you
I'll never again lose sight
356
00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:41,070
of what this all should've been
about in the first place, the plaque.
357
00:20:42,405 --> 00:20:44,157
Oh, not that plaque.
358
00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:46,951
Perfect.
359
00:20:46,952 --> 00:20:49,015
_
360
00:20:56,247 --> 00:20:57,724
Bye bye! See you soon!
361
00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:02,231
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