Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,090
{\an1}MUSIC: Kyrie/Sjung, Syster Sjung!
by Sara Parkman
2
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,560
You all right?
3
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,210
This bit used to be
the nudist beach here.
4
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,360
Till the council started
throwing turds in the water.
5
00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,119
I mean, what's the point of
getting your chebs out
6
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,040
if everything stinks of shit?
7
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,200
Do you have to use
the word "chebs"?
8
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,960
DANNY CHUCKLES
Sorry.
9
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,050
Tits.
10
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,880
Margate's actually quite nice now.
It's quite up-and-coming.
11
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,360
I just saw an Aldi.
12
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,560
And a Prezzo in Broadstairs. Ooh.
13
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,760
I used to love it here, so much.
14
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,960
Although London's shit now.
15
00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:42,039
We're all just getting our
phones nicked all the time
16
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,920
and everywhere shuts
by half ten, so...
17
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,360
Shit. What do you do
if you want a late one?
18
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,240
Well, sometimes, I go...
19
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,240
I go to...
20
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,480
..Soho House.
21
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,200
Soho House?! Mm.
22
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,200
DANNY CHUCKLES
Oh, no.
23
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,519
Please don't tell me you're
a member. Don't start.
24
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,920
Who do you think you
are in Soho House?
25
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,270
Just someone who likes a 1am picante
with padron peppers and pals.
26
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:08,680
You are so gay.
27
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,400
I didn't make it, did I?
28
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,880
{\an1}HE SIGHS
29
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,880
I'm so sorry, mate.
30
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,360
I'm sorry too.
31
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:46,800
I just...
32
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000
I just couldn't...
33
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,880
You don't need to explain it.
34
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,640
We all know there
isn't just one answer.
35
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,440
I guess I just want you
to know in some way
36
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,240
that you're still so present.
37
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,880
It's all the everyday stuff,
really, like,
38
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:13,040
I could be picking a Tesco meal deal
and start thinking about you -
39
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,080
at what you'd get,
whether you'd go for a Dr Pepper
40
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,200
or a Naked Blue smoothie,
41
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,920
what you'd make of
how it's all changed.
42
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,040
How's it all changed?
43
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,760
It's not 3 anymore.
44
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,960
What?
45
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,960
It's 3.90.
46
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,720
3.40 with a Clubcard.
47
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,160
Are you joking?
48
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,520
But at some Tescos,
you can get a Costa Express
49
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,520
in the 3.40 deal, which is...
50
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,480
BOTH: ..the price of
a coffee in itself.
51
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,720
And then sometimes,
52
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,040
I'll just think about
you on certain dates,
53
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,880
like the day I turned
the age you were when we met...
54
00:03:48,881 --> 00:03:52,199
..and I thought, I don't know
why you became friends
55
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,520
with such a dweeb.
56
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,440
Or the day I turned the age
you were when you left.
57
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,320
And I felt so guilty,
58
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,760
like I was never supposed
to become older than you.
59
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,720
And then the day I turned 30,
60
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,000
one of my first thoughts was, "God,
you'd be so happy in this age."
61
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,880
Everything just sort of dissipates
a bit and you stop giving a shit
62
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,480
about looking good in photos
63
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,560
or making someone's
birthday drinks on time.
64
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,680
I fucking hate birthday drinks. Mm.
65
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,400
It's, like, have a party or don't.
66
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,200
I totally agree.
67
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:36,680
And I know, somewhere, you'll be
cringing soooo hard at the earnest,
68
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,320
overshare-y sincerity of all this,
but I just...
69
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,360
..I just really miss you.
70
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,760
And I've written so much about us.
71
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,120
To not let the injustice
of what could have been...
72
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,160
..override all the joy of what was.
73
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,160
Can I just say, look,
I know I chose this ending,
74
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,130
but we both know it's
not what I wanted.
75
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,120
I didn't wanna leave,
76
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,560
I just wanted out of the
fucking mess I kept falling into.
77
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,040
I dunno, a part of me thinks that
this shouldn't be the ending.
78
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,640
And, yeah, I'd...
79
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,600
..I'd actually really
like another one.
80
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,280
OK.
81
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,680
OK, right. Erm...
82
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:46,880
Stand up. What?
83
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,920
Come on.
84
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,520
Up you get.
85
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,160
Shoulders back.
86
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,520
Chebs out.
87
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,800
Get up on the bench.
88
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,240
What, like, on it? Yeah.
89
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,880
OK, and...now what?
90
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,400
You're going to wait.
91
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,960
Wait for what?
92
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,840
Well, I'd like to think, that night,
93
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,760
you didn't wait for the help that
you had asked for to get to you,
94
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,240
so, this time, you're gonna wait.
95
00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:23,999
I feel like a bit of an
idiot just stood here.
96
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,800
No, you don't. You look great.
97
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,040
Look, if you wait,
something else will come along.
98
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,680
It might not be loads better, but...
99
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:33,770
..just you wait.
100
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,160
Jack.
101
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,200
Ah, thank you.
102
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,960
Ah, I feel like a right plum.
103
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,280
No, sod this.
104
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,680
Come on. It's OK.
105
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:20,880
{\an1}HE SNIFFS
106
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,520
That's it. It's OK.
107
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,200
It's OK.
108
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,520
It's all right.
109
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,400
Let it out, OK?
110
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,290
Let it out.
111
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,600
It's OK.
112
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,920
Sorry. Danny, where do
you keep your teabags?
113
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,640
No, I wasn't talking to you.
114
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,440
No, I won't be home tonight, Kelly,
115
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,720
so you're going to have to make
your own dinner, I'm afraid.
116
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,600
SHE CHUCKLES
Grumble!
117
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:52,880
No...
118
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,360
No, that's not true.
119
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,520
I taught you how to use the George
Foreman very recently, remember?
120
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,200
Yeah... Yeah, OK.
121
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:06,000
And there's some asparagus tips
in the veg drawer as well.
122
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:10,040
No, I know...I know they
make your wee go funny,
123
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,000
They makes everyone's wee go funny.
124
00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:14,559
Funnily enough, actually very
good for you, asparagus tips.
125
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,200
Erm... Good h-hearing, something
like...something like that.
126
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:23,360
Erm, well, I'm actually just
teabagging in Margate at the moment.
127
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,880
Are you laughing?
128
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,200
She's laughing.
129
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,280
Why are you laughing at that?
130
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,440
Hello?
131
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,560
I think she's on
the train or something.
132
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,960
Right, teabags, teabags...
133
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,400
TV: Coming up next,
it's A Question Of Sport.
134
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,240
Is Sue Barker a lesbian as well
or is that just Clare Balding?
135
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,080
Can't remember.
136
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,320
Shall we have a little
read of the TV Guide?
137
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,480
Ooh, it's from 2008.
138
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,480
It'll be wrong.
139
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,240
Mm. Seen... Yeah, seen that,
seen that.
140
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,080
Haven't seen that actually.
141
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,520
Ugh, cycling.
142
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,000
{\an1}SHE CHUCKLES
143
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,130
Ahh.
144
00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:18,279
There's a little bit of a
breeze coming from somewhere...
145
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,160
SHE GASPS
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
146
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,640
Heh... Sorry!
147
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:25,280
{\an1}SHE CHUCKLES
148
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,240
No, it was a bit of an emergency
cos, erm, you know, you didn't
149
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:33,000
answer you phone after you texted me
and I was a bit like, "Oh..."
150
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:36,199
Cos I'd driven for two hours, and
I was like, "Ooh, got to get in,"
151
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,920
so I used the minibus fire
extinguisher in the end,
152
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,400
which is also quite mini,
153
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,600
erm, to smash your...
smash your back doors in.
154
00:09:44,601 --> 00:09:47,799
But don't worry, don't worry,
don't panic, cos I've put many an
155
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,200
SU bog door back on its hinges.
156
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,760
All in a day's work.
157
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,280
OK.
DRILL WHIRS
158
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,370
Cover your eyes.
159
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,840
Right, let's just get some shut-eye
160
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:03,320
and then we'll make a
plan of action tomorrow, OK?
161
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:12,770
Thanks, Jules.
162
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,960
Oh... Oh, oh, no worries...at all.
163
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,560
Of course, sweetheart.
164
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,880
There's nothing too big
that we can't fix, OK?
165
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,200
Just remember that.
166
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,570
OK.
167
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,280
Night, then,
168
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,760
I'm just gonna put on a podcast if
that's OK, just to help me sleep.
169
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,680
Hello. My name is Anoushka Delafonte
170
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:48,080
and you're listening to Anoushka's
Empowered Women's Health podcast,
171
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,410
where we delve into many
of the hidden issues
172
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,400
affecting millennial women today.
173
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,840
From PMS to tender breasts,
174
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,760
this is a safe space for
women to discuss our bodies.
175
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,040
And talking of safe spaces,
we're sponsored by Squarespace.
176
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,480
Squarespace empowers millions
of dreamers, makers and doers
177
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,690
by providing them with
the tools they need
178
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,680
to bring creative ideas to life.
179
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,770
And it's so easy.
180
00:11:13,831 --> 00:11:15,919
Ahh...
181
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:16,970
{\an1}SHE CHUCKLES
182
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,520
Oh, do you know what
"GS" stands for on my...?
183
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,120
"Great shag."
184
00:11:24,121 --> 00:11:25,199
{\an1}SHE CHUCKLES
185
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,680
No, I'm joking. Just, erm...
186
00:11:26,681 --> 00:11:28,959
No, just trying to get some
cheeky banter going with you.
187
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,159
Cos now you're at the end of uni,
188
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,800
I can do cheeky banter with you,
finally.
189
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,080
Ooh, shall we have a Mr Whippy? 99?
190
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,560
Oh, hello.
191
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,760
{\an1}IN MANDARIN:
192
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,800
Ooh, er...
193
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,820
..hundreds and thousands sprinkles.
194
00:12:13,061 --> 00:12:15,839
Threw in an extra Flake for you.
195
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,280
Aww, thank you. That's very kind.
196
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,480
Jules!
197
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,680
What?
198
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,800
{\an1}MUSIC: Sea Creatures
by Soak
199
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,440
What did you actually study, then?
200
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,480
International business relations
with Mandarin.
201
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,720
Wow. Mm.
202
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,440
God, the ice creams in Margate
are to Princess Di for.
203
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,600
Oh, here we go.
204
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,400
In an interview in 1999,
205
00:13:00,401 --> 00:13:02,799
she said that during her career
she was approached by
206
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,960
lesbian tennis players
in locker rooms
207
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,920
and had to reject their advances.
208
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,800
Oh, right, OK.
209
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,640
And in 1982, she had a brief
romance with singer Cliff Richard.
210
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,960
No! Yeah. Cliff allegedly said,
211
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,440
"I seriously contemplated asking
Sue Barker to marry me,
212
00:13:20,441 --> 00:13:22,799
"but, in the end, I realised
I didn't love her quite enough
213
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,400
"to commit the rest of my life
to her." Oh, my... So harsh.
214
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,720
It is harsh. They would have met
at Wimbledon. At Wimbledon, yeah.
215
00:13:28,721 --> 00:13:33,119
Hang on, where are we?
This isn't the way back to uni.
216
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:37,080
Well, I'm taking us on
a cheeky 37-minute detour
217
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,480
to one of your
favourite places to eat.
218
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,000
{\an1}HE YELPS
219
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,520
You're joking!
220
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,760
Fleet Services! Yeah.
221
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,440
I fucking love you, Jules Handy!
Oh, language please.
222
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:53,480
I fucking love yoooooou!
223
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,650
{\an1}MUSIC: Whiteout Conditions
by The New Pornographers
224
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,600
Ahh...
225
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,320
Ah, that was incredible.
226
00:14:29,321 --> 00:14:32,439
You know, when I was holding those
two semi-automatic pistols just now
227
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,600
to kill the zombies on the
Sega House of Dead machine, I...
228
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,200
..I just suddenly had a thought
that...that I need new challenges
229
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,360
in my life.
230
00:14:40,361 --> 00:14:42,119
This is very much the effect
that Fleet Services
231
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,400
tends to have on people.
232
00:14:43,401 --> 00:14:45,439
Do you know what? Believe it or not,
my whole life, people have, like,
233
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,239
thought I was a bit of a joke or
something and I'm actually...
234
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,400
..I'm actually not. I'm...
I'm very proud of my career.
235
00:14:51,401 --> 00:14:54,439
Because I know I didn't, you know,
leave uni and join, like,
236
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,520
a FTSE 100 company or...or...or
start a small, inspirational,
237
00:14:58,521 --> 00:15:01,039
independent greetings card business
or anything like that,
238
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,800
but, you know, I did something
that I really love,
239
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,360
which is helping people.
240
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,200
Mm. Walkers Max Paprika?
241
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,320
No, not right now.
242
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,920
But, erm, helping them
learn about themselves
243
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,840
and help them to...
to let their hair down and...
244
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,160
..and discover who they are.
245
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,600
I mean, like how you've
done with Jack.
246
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,200
And all your friends, actually.
247
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,640
And I...
248
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,480
..I think that...that...
249
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,560
..next year should be my last year.
250
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,400
And I was thinking as well,
251
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,040
I mean, you know, if you're
up for it, that, erm...
252
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,760
I just think that you have
a lot of those same qualities.
253
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,000
Me? Yeah.
254
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,400
I was thinking I could train you up
this summer and, erm...
255
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,279
It'd be, like, a proper-waged job
and everything.
256
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,880
You could finish your disso, then,
and, erm...
257
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,040
I mean, at least for a little bit,
you can be the new me!
258
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,240
You know, when you
put it like that...
259
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,720
..I think that's exactly
what I wanna do.
260
00:16:04,721 --> 00:16:06,359
I think I'd actually
be sick at this!
261
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,480
Yeah, that's literally
what I'm saying.
262
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:11,520
Boop!
263
00:16:11,521 --> 00:16:12,879
You hate it when I do that to you.
264
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,159
I know. It's hard not to, though,
innit, once it's on?
265
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,119
Yeah, it's addictive,
it's addictive.
266
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,599
Can you get the Gaviscon
out of there?
267
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,160
Those jalapeno poppers
are just sitting...
268
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,680
..sitting right on my chest. Yeah.
269
00:16:23,681 --> 00:16:24,759
Oh, are there none in there?
270
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,040
No, just... Erm...
271
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:28,919
Mm. I can go and
get you some, though.
272
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,999
Oh, yeah, are you sure, yeah?
Yeah. That'd be great.
273
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,920
WH Smith's, mate. Not a problem.
274
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,160
{\an1}SHE SIGHS
275
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,720
{\an1}SHE TAPS
276
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,360
Oh, hi, hi.
277
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,600
Yeah, it's just me.
278
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,160
Erm... Yeah. No, no, I'm fine.
279
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,280
Erm...
280
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,240
Er, yeah, I've got him, yeah.
281
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,680
TEARFUL: Yeah, it was
quite tough, but...
282
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,680
Yeah, we're on our
way back now, so...
283
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:16,770
Yeah.
284
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:18,810
OK.
285
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,240
Thanks, Tim.
Thanks for checking in.
286
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,400
Of course.
287
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,160
Text me any time.
288
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,000
Yeah, I'm here to help
all summer so...
289
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,080
Yeah, he can stay at mine
if he needs, but...
290
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,520
I mean, whatever, just...
291
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,200
We'll...we'll get him through.
292
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,640
Well, no, he wouldn't
be staying in my room.
293
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,610
Well, I've got three
bedrooms, Jules.
294
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,040
OK.
295
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,720
Hey, you did really well.
296
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,040
All right, OK, take care.
297
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,010
{\an1}HE EXHALES
298
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,480
Is he all right?
299
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,000
He's all right.
300
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,480
{\an1}MUSIC: Wreath
by Perfume Genius
301
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,400
{\an1}MUSIC OVER DIALOGUE
302
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,120
She's called DianaCamilla.
303
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,360
Nice. DianaCamilla Miller?
304
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,440
It's actually Mill-ar,
like, up at the end.
305
00:18:44,441 --> 00:18:47,479
Yeah, it goes up at the... Mill-ar.
Up at the end. So it's different.
306
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,760
And, like, I just really want
her to be a woman who just
307
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,160
doesn't hate other women.
308
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,040
Aww. You know?
So, in many ways,
309
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,800
this is sort of my way of just
ending that feud
310
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,400
between Charles's brides, you know?
Mm.
311
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,120
This is exciting.
312
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,130
Hi. All right?
313
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,200
Erm...
314
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,480
You look well.
315
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,570
Yeah, you look...
316
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,240
..smart.
317
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,330
Thank you.
318
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,880
Erm, meet my family.
319
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,600
This is my mum, Kim. Hi, there.
320
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,360
You know the names that
are harder to pronounce,
321
00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,599
did you write them out
phonetically for me?
322
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,679
Yeah, I-I thought it
might be racist, though,
323
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,039
to just do the ethnic names,
324
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,040
so I've phonetically
spelt out everything.
325
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,880
OK, erm...
326
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,040
Yeah, that's probably right,
isn't it? I don't... Don't go yet.
327
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,040
Craig, David...
328
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,320
..and this is Brilliant.
329
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,279
Wait, hang on, your name's
Brilliant? Brilliant.
330
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,920
That's brilliant.
331
00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:55,839
Right, OK, just go and take your
seats, wherever Mum and Dad are.
332
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,600
Guys! Guys!
333
00:19:57,601 --> 00:19:58,679
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
334
00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:59,719
Christ!
335
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,439
I just went to the
hat and gown place.
336
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,250
It's 27, so I've
hired it for the day.
337
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,560
Take it off now.
338
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,240
Don't be jealous because
it suits me more, please.
339
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,920
OK? I actually do have some
pretty big news to tell you all.
340
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,560
Here we go. How's she going
to upstage my day now?
341
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,160
So, in September...
342
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,120
I'm going to uni.
343
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,680
What? Finally, a smart move.
344
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,200
That's amazing, love.
345
00:20:22,201 --> 00:20:24,959
Yeah, so, I'm not gonna be lazy and,
like, go to some little uni
346
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,439
down the road or anything like that.
347
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,200
Erm, instead, me,
Tariq and the babies,
348
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,440
we're moving next month...
349
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,600
..to Cyprus.
350
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,690
Spoke too soon.
351
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,120
Christ, that's ages away.
352
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,080
I know it's far, it is far,
353
00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:40,599
but, you know,
you've gotta come visit.
354
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,520
And I really want you all
to see the kids loads.
355
00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:46,479
And Tariq's found this really nice
house near the campus for him
356
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,679
and the girls cos I'm gonna do
the first year in halls.
357
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,360
Are you on fucking drugs?!
358
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,280
Sorry? Have you lost your
absolute fucking mind?
359
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,560
Yeah, tell her, Nan.
360
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,170
OK, guys.
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
361
00:20:57,171 --> 00:20:58,239
{\an1}JULES CLEARS THROAT
362
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,920
Hello, welcome, bienvenue,
huang yang
363
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:08,720
to the Brent Uni BA Journalism
Graduation 2016.
364
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,880
Now, it gives me great pleasure to
say that handing out these very
365
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,560
important scrolls you see here,
we have - I can't believe
366
00:21:21,561 --> 00:21:24,519
I'm saying this - one of the
country's most beloved entertainment
367
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,640
interviewers in...
in the country today.
368
00:21:26,641 --> 00:21:28,639
I love her, you love her,
we all love her.
369
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,279
Please put your hands and feet
together for the late, grea...
370
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,360
..erm...for the...for the...
371
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,800
..for the indomitable
Alison Hammond.
372
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,400
{\an1}APPLAUSE
373
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,440
{\an1}MUSIC: This Morning Theme
374
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,720
Yes, I know, I know.
Put your hat on and sit down.
375
00:21:47,721 --> 00:21:49,919
Put your hat on and sit down.
Alison Hammond. Yeah.
376
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,799
Don't say her name any more.
Just go sit down, buddy.
377
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,000
Please welcome, up first,
378
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,440
El-uh-zeh-bruff Jo-ee-ner.
379
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
380
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,600
Ta-ma-sa Pee-do-frile.
381
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,690
{\an1}APPLAUSE
382
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,880
It's Thomas Peter Friar!
383
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,320
Co-ree-na Ga-ha-ma-ra.
384
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,560
{\an1}APPLAUSE
385
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,840
Woo! Woohoo!
386
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,720
Congratulations. Thank you so much.
387
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,080
Ja-kee Roo-ka.
388
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,800
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
389
00:22:25,151 --> 00:22:27,239
Go on, Jack!
390
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,519
Congratulations. Well done.
391
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,160
You're...you're my fish.
392
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,520
Sorry, bubs?
393
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,160
You died.
You're...you're my dead fish.
394
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,840
Oh, right. Have a lovely day.
Well done.
395
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,840
Pa-da She-ee.
396
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,560
BOTH: We're coming, Shannon!
397
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,040
{\an1}CHEERING AND LAUGHTER
398
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,160
Aww, thanks for helping me move
my stuff into halls, guys.
399
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,280
Aww, love you.
400
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,400
Although, mate,
your dandruff's terrible.
401
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,440
It's like you've sat
under a shredder.
402
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,040
{\an1}LAUGHTER
403
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,600
{\an1}HE EXHALES
404
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,520
Hello, you.
405
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,440
Ahh, mate.
406
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,280
It looks so good.
407
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:34,370
It does, dunnit?
408
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,800
I'm proud of ya.
409
00:23:37,801 --> 00:23:39,359
Oh, all right, no soppy bollocks,
410
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:42,279
I've already had Jules in here
crying cos I did this all by myself.
411
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,800
Well, you've upstaged her, mate.
412
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,960
Now, are you gonna get
suited and booted
413
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,760
to pull a fresher tonight?
414
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,040
Nah, it's Brent Uni policy,
I've got to stay in uniform, so...
415
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,200
Nah, can't.
416
00:23:53,201 --> 00:23:55,759
Yeah, I'm also contractually
forbidden to, you know,
417
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,320
dance with, flirt with,
418
00:23:57,321 --> 00:23:59,479
definitely shag with
any of the students, so...
419
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,600
Ah, that's a shame.
420
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,040
Yeah, strict but fair. Yeah.
421
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,320
Well, you can dance and
flirt with me.
422
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,400
Not shag, but... All right, OK.
423
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:09,520
Wait there.
424
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,360
Ready? Mm-hm.
425
00:24:13,361 --> 00:24:15,799
{\an1}MUSIC: The Magic Position
by Patrick Wolf
426
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,239
The sound system in here's sick.
427
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,120
I'm gonna put some
garage nights on, the lot.
428
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,480
Right, come on.
429
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,920
We're not actually gonna dance,
are we?
430
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,000
You asked me to dance,
so let's have a dance.
431
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,360
Yeah, but it's a bit gay.
432
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,080
Yes, it's very gay. Now, come on.
433
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,170
What are we doing?
434
00:24:36,671 --> 00:24:38,759
All right.
435
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,560
So let the people talk
436
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,320
It's Monday morning walk
437
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:51,920
Right past the fabulous
mess we're in
438
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,800
It's gonna be a beautiful day...
439
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:57,960
Jack and Danny.
440
00:24:57,961 --> 00:25:01,159
Cockney rhyming slang
for "fanny", innit?
441
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,560
{\an1}SHE CHUCKLES
442
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,400
And you take my kiss
443
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,640
And I take the world...
444
00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:13,319
All right, now, just don't
do anything I wouldn't do.
445
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,030
I mean, I wouldn't shag a bloke,
but you get what I mean.
446
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,210
Run!
447
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,040
Cos out of all the
people I've known
448
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,840
The places I've been...
You drank poppers!
449
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,080
The songs that I have sung
The wonders I've seen
450
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:32,600
Now that the dreams
are all coming true
451
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,840
Who is the one that
leads me on through?
452
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:43,640
It's you who puts me in
the magic position, darling, now
453
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:51,240
You put me in the
magic position, darling, now
454
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:58,240
You put me in the
magic position, darling, so
455
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:05,480
Let me put you in
the magic position, darling, cos
456
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:10,840
I'm singing in the
457
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,960
The major key
458
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,080
The major key
459
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,320
The major key
460
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,400
Let me put you in the
461
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,400
The major key.
462
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,880
{\an3}Well, you thought
463
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,840
{\an3}You could not go on
464
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,760
Your bones are
just beating
465
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,040
Like drums at your
funeral song...
466
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,800
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
467
00:27:14,850 --> 00:27:19,400
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33847
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof