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1
00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:03,378
My daughter Danuta...
2
00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:05,839
[sobbing] is missing!
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,342
Mrs. Tenuta, it's okay.
I'll tell them the story.
4
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,928
The last time
I saw Danuta was yesterday.
5
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,805
See, a few months ago,
6
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:16,558
Danuta joined
the Bazooka Sharks Babe cheerleading squad.
7
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,309
I've been driving
her to practice
8
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,437
because her car
is infested with pantry moths.
9
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,647
{\an8}But something
was eating at her.
10
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,358
Danuta said the organization
was hiding something.
11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,445
She didn't go
into details because, well...
12
00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:29,612
I said I wasn't interested
13
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,322
and that cheerleaders
were fake as hell.
14
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,450
Not my most sensitive moment.
15
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:34,909
Sorry.
16
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,703
The Babes
do this version of a pyramid
17
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:37,996
that they call the Shark Fin.
18
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,998
So stupid.
19
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:43,126
Danuta was always
proud to be at the top, for some dumb reason.
20
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:45,962
But at yesterday's practice
she never came out of the locker room.
21
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,964
They looked everywhere for her
22
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,383
but the only thing they found
was her scrunchie.
23
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,511
The official line
from the Babes is that she ran away,
24
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,139
but there's this thing
that Danuta used to say,
25
00:00:56,140 --> 00:01:00,059
"The only reason
for being missing is being kidnapped."
26
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,521
Something about that
makes me think she was kidnapped.
27
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,315
[sobbing]
28
00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:06,649
Don't worry, Mrs. Tenuta,
29
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,651
these guys'll
find your daughter.
30
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:09,912
They're professionals!
31
00:01:09,913 --> 00:01:11,613
Hi.
32
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,072
We're in a garage.
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,033
I'm sitting on a box of
34
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,660
"Southwestern
table decorations"?
35
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,455
It doesn't feel like
a pro operation.
36
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:22,665
Would non-professionals
do this?
37
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,668
[both scatting theme music]
38
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,066
[scatting ends]
39
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,477
Hey, where did
Danuta's mom go?
40
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:43,978
She thought it'd be
more productive
41
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,064
to stand in front of
the White House with a sign.
42
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,983
You did the right thing
coming to us instead of the police.
43
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,109
Oh, we tried them.
44
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,070
But because of budget cuts,
45
00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:54,489
they won't investigate a missing person
until they've been gone six months.
46
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,699
Three if you buy tickets
to their pancake breakfast.
47
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,327
Pancakes, that's a clue.
48
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:02,372
- I don't think it is.
- Well, I'm glad you have such strong opinions.
49
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:04,624
You're gonna need them
as part of the investigation.
50
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,918
You want me to be part of it?
I'll do anything!
51
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:11,089
- We need you to go undercover
as a cheerleader. - Immediately, no.
52
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,133
The Bazooka Babes are holding
tryouts to replace Danuta.
53
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,053
She'd said something shady
was going on over there.
54
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,429
And if you can make the team,
55
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,348
we'll have someone
on the inside.
56
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,141
Okay, fine! I'll do it.
57
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,434
I'll try out too,
58
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,896
just in case they're looking
for somebody sexy.
59
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,235
? Good morning, USA ?
60
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:35,864
? I got a feeling
That it's gonna be A wonderful day ?
61
00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:38,658
? The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ?
62
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,371
? And he's shining a salute
To the American race ?
63
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:48,418
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
64
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,795
{\an8}? Good morning, USA ?
65
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:51,881
{\an8}[Roger] Ah!
66
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,510
{\an8}? Good morning, USA ?
67
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,598
{\an8}[? suspenseful music]
68
00:03:01,802 --> 00:03:05,101
{\an8}Roger, you still have a beard.
69
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,561
{\an8}It's Legman who's undercover.
70
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,021
{\an8}I don't even know
who Roger is.
71
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,231
{\an8}While you guys are
looking into the team,
72
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,400
{\an8}I'll be investigating
the organization,
73
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,737
{\an8}as their new
junior senior accountant.
74
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,322
{\an8}Nice! How'd you get that?
75
00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:21,242
{\an8}AI-generated recommendations
and a great attitude.
76
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,660
{\an8}Shit, I'd rather do that!
77
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,370
{\an8}Do they want someone sexy?
78
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,623
{\an8}Hey, so what'd
you guys find out about the squad?
79
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:28,917
{\an8}[Roger] That's Kashara,
Pauline and Carly.
80
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,627
{\an8}Motivation: jealousy.
81
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:33,588
{\an8}They all wanted
to replace Danuta at the top of the pyramid.
82
00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,131
{\an8}Carly got it.
83
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:38,718
{\an8}[Steve] Over there we got
Coach Tammy and Jill, Carly's mom.
84
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,428
{\an8}She's a former Bazooka Babe
85
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,263
{\an8}and current president
of the booster club.
86
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,681
{\an8}Both suspects.
87
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,391
{\an8}Motivation: jealousy.
88
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,268
{\an8}Of what? Or who?
89
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,771
{\an8}Careful, Hayley.
Now you're sounding jealous.
90
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,481
{\an8}We have to keep an eye on you.
91
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,566
{\an8}Wheels, get my little gun
from the van.
92
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,278
{\an8}Up there is Cyrus Mooney Jr,
team owner, suspect.
93
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,863
{\an8}Why is he a suspect?
94
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,156
{\an8}From the top of the pyramid,
95
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,033
{\an8}Danuta could see
into the owner's box.
96
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,869
{\an8}Perhaps she saw something
she wasn't supposed to.
97
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,162
{\an8}Ooh, that's interesting.
98
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,039
{\an8}- Yeah, I hope
it's that one! - Me too.
99
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,501
{\an8}Let's agree to favor
any evidence that makes it look like that.
100
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,919
{\an8}[Hayley] That creepy guy!
101
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,545
{\an8}Who is he?
102
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,547
{\an8}[Roger] That's Dominic.
Team stalker.
103
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,467
{\an8}100-times convicted felon.
Obsessed with Danuta,
104
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,969
{\an8}couldn't stop
writing her notes.
105
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,053
{\an8}Not a suspect.
106
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,721
{\an8}- Why?
- Oh, it's too obvious.
107
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,974
{\an8}I mean, just the day
before she disappeared,
108
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:28,267
{\an8}he said he was gonna take her
away from all this.
109
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,270
{\an8}Tell you what, if it's him
I'll eat my sequined bodysuit,
110
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,649
like a billy goat
on Liza Minnelli's farm.
111
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,442
[? suspenseful music]
112
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,152
Welcome to tryouts.
113
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,821
Now let me say right up front,
114
00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:42,115
we are body positive Babes
115
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,201
and nobody is gonna
be asked their weight.
116
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:49,706
But, if you
accidentally step on one of the many scales
117
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,542
hidden
throughout the field, that's on you.
118
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,043
I'll hand it over to Jill,
119
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,673
president of
the Bazooka Babes' booster club.
120
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,550
Well hey, girls!!
121
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,176
I see your shocked faces,
122
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,429
you can't believe
I'm Carly's mom and not her kid sister.
123
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,681
Don't make that face, Carly,
you'll get frown lines.
124
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,349
- Mom!
- Don't call me that!
125
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,268
Treasure these
moments, ladies.
126
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,061
You never know when
you're gonna be 29
127
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,896
and wake up one day
and turn 30,
128
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,899
kicked off the team
because of an arbitrary age cut-off.
129
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,527
Even though all my veins
were still non-varicose.
130
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,823
But now
it's my daughter's time to live my dreams.
131
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,074
Um, quick question.
132
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,535
Uh, what's your policy
on disappearances?
133
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:31,164
Like, if I went missing,
would you try and find me or just cover it up?
134
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,000
We have a strong
no cover-up policy here.
135
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,752
Good question.
No more questions.
136
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,587
Anyone care for a scone?
137
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,548
That's a trick,
the scone might make you one ounce thicker
138
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,008
and that won't work for us.
139
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,178
The girls who asked
for the scone are cut.
140
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,972
Now let the tryouts begin!
141
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,724
How am I supposed to compete?
142
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:52,518
This clearly isn't
anyone else's first day of cheerleading.
143
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,979
Don't worry, I've got
a few tricks up my sleeve
144
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,273
to tip things in your favor.
145
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,984
? She got a body
Like an hourglass ?
146
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:04,072
? But I can give it to you
All the time ?
147
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,365
? She got a booty
Like a Cadillac ?
148
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,161
? But I can send you
Into overdrive, oh ?
149
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,914
? You've been waiting
For that ?
150
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,666
? Step on up... ?
151
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,667
- Ooh, damn.
- [gasps]
152
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,358
- [Jill] You're cut!
- [sobbing]
153
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,756
- [squeals]
- You're cut!
154
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:25,135
Thank you, NSYNC's absolutely
miserable halftime show.
155
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,097
The way
she's pumping her arms,
156
00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:30,765
it's unrelenting,
157
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,558
defiant even.
158
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,852
There's a little
Paula Abdul in it too.
159
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:38,022
Diane, you're the
sparkle consultant. What you think?
160
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,690
I'd like to see more.
161
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:43,194
? Back seat of my car
I'll let you have it... ?
162
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,904
I'm out, Hayley!
163
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,616
I just had vaginal reconstruction.
I can't blast it like that.
164
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,785
Farewell, my coochie!
[squeals]
165
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,203
None of them sparkle!
166
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,579
Who are you?
167
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,499
I'm Kitty Kittington,
the new sparkle consultant!
168
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,834
What happened to Diane?
169
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,753
Oh, she had to attend
to a personal matter.
170
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,257
[screaming]
171
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,261
They look great from here.
172
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,514
But let's see how they look
on the Jumbotron.
173
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,310
Hmm. I don't love that.
174
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:20,231
It's four dollars per day,
but this Donkey Face app was so worth it.
175
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,942
And to think
I almost canceled it a couple years ago!
176
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,361
We have chosen the final two.
177
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,572
It's Hayley and Barbara Ann.
178
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:28,656
[all exclaim]
179
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,116
Wait! One more cut.
180
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,119
Barbara Ann,
you got the weird knees.
181
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:37,707
Barbara Ann,
please put on pants and go directly to hell.
182
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,333
- I made it?
- [all cheering]
183
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,377
Okay, okay, personal space!
184
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,921
If you didn't hear
your name called, you didn't make it.
185
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,175
There's a list in the office
if you want to know how badly you did.
186
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:50,512
Christina,
I'll save you the walk, you were dead last.
187
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,392
To be clear, you're a 10-99
contractor with no benefits.
188
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,060
[softly] Okay,
you're in the door.
189
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:01,022
Now it's time to start
our investigation proper.
190
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,191
Start? What have
you guys been doing?
191
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,525
The longer Danuta's missing,
192
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,360
the higher the odds
we'll never find her.
193
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,113
- [slams locker]
- I'm hearing, "words, words, words."
194
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,366
But I should be hearing is,
"sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!"
195
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,452
[softly] It's important
we maintain our covers.
196
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:17,747
But even I, Legman,
think Barbara Ann was better than you.
197
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,458
[loudly] Come on,
Mr. Accountant.
198
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,296
"Brr, it's cold in here.
199
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,382
"Stop poking 'round,
or you'll be dead I fear."
200
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,219
[gasps] Wait,
this is a cheer threat!
201
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,262
One of the Babes
must've written this!
202
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,598
But which one?
203
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,894
Bad Dominic!
You cannot be in here!
204
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,479
But he's a suspect too!
205
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,189
Suspect?
206
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,859
What I meant to say
is he's sus...
207
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,486
and pectoo...
208
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,156
which is, of course,
a Peruvian bird.
209
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:53,991
Quite beautiful.
210
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,952
Not a lot of meat, though.
211
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:59,443
Please don't ask me about the bird in the future.
The bird is quite real.
212
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,791
[? suspenseful music]
213
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,584
Someone in this organization
214
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,586
is involved with
Danuta's disappearance
215
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,546
and now they're
threatening my life!
216
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,757
And with a glitter pen,
no less.
217
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,009
Yes! Who uses glitter pen?
218
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,845
{\an8}Ugh. Everyone
in the organization, unfortunately.
219
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,430
They all use glitter pens,
220
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,641
and they all reek
of artificial peaches.
221
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,184
Let's check it for DNA.
222
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,435
[sneezes]
223
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,187
Hayley, that was
a rookie mistake.
224
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,064
You're the one
who sneezed on it.
225
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,025
And you're the one who made us stop
at Hardee's for French toast sticks
226
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,902
that I love
and am allergic to.
227
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,655
"Brr, it's cold in here..."
228
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:35,950
[gasps] Its! The author
used the wrong "its"!
229
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,410
Wrong-Its?
230
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,578
That's the Kroger brand
knockoff of Cheez-Its, right?
231
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,456
I prefer them.
A stronger cardboard mouthfeel.
232
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,251
No, whoever wrote this
forgot the apostrophe.
233
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,296
We just have to find out
which of these girls doesn't know her grammar.
234
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,673
Based on these contracts,
that could be hard.
235
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:54,218
Kashara spelled her name
with a five and a pentagram.
236
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,305
[? upbeat music playing]
237
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,893
Come on, Carly!
238
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,229
You really got to
throw that kiss to Cyrus!
239
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,731
Mwah! Mwah!
240
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,816
He comes out of
his luxury box for this!
241
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,485
He doesn't like to come out!
Make it worth his time!
242
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,820
Mwah!
243
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,989
- Whoa!
- [all groan]
244
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,407
Let's take a little break.
245
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,367
You guys can
all share that banana
246
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,827
I left in the locker room.
247
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,080
- [cheerleaders] Yay.
- Dibs on the peel!
248
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,082
[groans]
249
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,668
Hey girly... goos.
250
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,338
I wrote a cheer.
[chuckles nervously]
251
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,506
- Can I teach it to y'all?
- Yeah!
252
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,383
- Let's do it!
- I love cheers!
253
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,636
What the hell do you
think you're doing, Hayley? I write the cheers!
254
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,682
Kitty, I'm investigating
my creativity.
255
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,767
Oh, right, right.
256
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,977
But I'll be watching
your every step.
257
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,896
Hovering over you
like an alien.
258
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,481
I... I mean, I'm not an alien.
259
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:52,110
Don't mind me,
I had one too many Celsius Grape Rushes!
260
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:56,530
It's Shark time!
261
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,282
You had to write that down?
262
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,117
Do you all know what this is?
263
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,619
Dry erase marker?
264
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:05,414
Sure. But, um,
does anyone know what an apostrophe is?
265
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,041
I think everybody knows.
266
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,043
That's when something
terrible happens.
267
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,003
You mean a catastrophe?
268
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,755
Yeah. Those are bad.
269
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,382
Really, really bad.
270
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,883
We should erase that cheer!
271
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,676
Erase it now!
272
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,763
But initiative like that
will put you at the top of the pyramid one day.
273
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,807
Or take you
to the White House.
274
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,558
But not both. Don't be greedy.
275
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,060
I could be a topper?
276
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,687
Praising these girls
is not the way to motivate them!
277
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,649
You're lucky I don't send you
downhill in a grocery cart-
278
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,235
That's just a Southern saying.
Nothing more.
279
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,822
- Good job, babe.
- You're doing great!
280
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,202
[? suspenseful music]
281
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,291
Oh, so right after
they're super nice to me,
282
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,377
they sneak off to
some mysterious closet
283
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,753
where they probably
have Danuta
284
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,631
chained to a water heater,
drinkin' her own piss.
285
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,300
Gotta play this
real cool and subtle.
286
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,720
Don't show my hand.
Keep it casual.
287
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,765
Closet, closet, closet!
I saw you go in the closet!
288
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,684
What are you even
talking about?
289
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,227
Come on everyone but Hayley,
290
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,687
let's go eat
boiled chicken breast
291
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,356
and look at pictures
of cookies.
292
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:14,942
They all went into this closet
293
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,111
and when I slyly
asked them about it,
294
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,821
they were so weird.
295
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,240
[engine starts]
296
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,040
School zone, watch your speed!
297
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,542
Oh, good looking out.
298
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,336
I'll take my foot off the gas,
that should slow us down.
299
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,046
No need to use
the brake at this point.
300
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,756
Love that. Save it
for when you need it.
301
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,258
When you can
rely on it to work.
302
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,177
Ooh, can we drive
past the kindergarten
303
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,429
as all the kids are being
walked across the street?
304
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,889
Sounds wonderful.
305
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,724
I'll pull
right up close to them in my two-ton van
306
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,476
so we can see
their sweet faces.
307
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,895
[kids chattering]
308
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,689
[brake pedal thudding]
309
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,857
The brakes are out!
310
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,567
[all screaming]
311
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,110
Jello factory!
312
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,237
[tires screeching]
313
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,870
I thought the jello
would provide a cushion
314
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,580
but it was just
factory equipment
315
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,207
and a bunch of sugary powder.
316
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:14,835
The people
make the jello at home, you idiots!
317
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,253
Someone tried to kill us!
318
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,922
It's getting
too scary, Hayley.
319
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,216
Okay, I think
it's for the good of the case
320
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:23,302
that we take
a nice, long break, come back fresh.
321
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,803
I like a cold case.
322
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,889
Like cold noodles,
cold pizza, it's better.
323
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,641
No, we can't give up!
324
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:31,519
And I just can't be
swinging from jello factory to jello factory
325
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,978
looking for your dead friend.
326
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,230
You think she's dead?
327
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,481
That's your question?
328
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,650
Nothing about Steve
liking cold noodles?
329
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,610
You gotta focus up, Hayley.
330
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,112
[? suspenseful music]
331
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:45,866
Our brakes were cut
right after I asked about the storage closet.
332
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,786
Wherever Danuta is,
the answer is in there.
333
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,997
Kashara always
has the key to it on her ankle.
334
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,416
She's on the third level
of the pyramid.
335
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,545
If I can make my way up
to the second level of the pyramid,
336
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,880
I can grab that sweet ankle.
337
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,633
While you do that,
I'm gonna go over the team's I-9s.
338
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,468
Cool! How is that helping us?
339
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,470
When Danuta's found,
it would be nice
340
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,390
if there was a fiscally sound
organization to return to.
341
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:10,683
If she's found!
342
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,978
- How is that helping us?
- It's not!
343
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,856
[all exclaim and groan]
344
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,400
Great hold, Smith!
345
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,694
You're moving up
to tier two after lunch!
346
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,280
You'll be right under Kashara.
347
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,407
Oh, yeah! Kashara!
348
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,075
Don't take it weird, Kashara.
349
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,997
I just can't wait to get
ahold of dem sweet, sweet, sweet ankles.
350
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,500
- Whoa!
- Will you sign your pom poms for me?
351
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,877
- What?
- Didn't they tell you?
352
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,629
The team generously donates
353
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,507
their signed pom poms
to the kids.
354
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,802
Why do they let you
hang around here?
355
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,971
What a rude question.
356
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:52,892
And I was gonna offer to lick the
jello powder off the bumper of your van.
357
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,730
- Where'd you go?
- Yeah, we're gonna beat your face.
358
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,482
- What?
- With makeup!
359
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,734
Makeover time!
360
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,404
[? upbeat music]
361
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,292
[all exclaim and groan]
362
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,502
I'm so sorry!
That was my fault.
363
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,588
Don't worry,
we all make mistakes.
364
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,131
I blew my basket toss today.
365
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,633
I clapped on the seven-count.
366
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,134
I got really high once
367
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,785
when I was babysitting
my kid brother and he drowned.
368
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:34,058
Wow. This is a really
supportive group.
369
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,769
Well, let them support you
at the top of the pyramid
370
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,021
'cause that's where
I'm putting you!
371
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,439
Why would you do that?
372
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,774
Oh... [chuckles]
373
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,442
I have my reasons.
374
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,779
As the sparkle coach,
I demand to know your reasons.
375
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,239
My therapist told me
I need to take more risks.
376
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,658
My speech therapist.
377
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,035
She gives me tewible advice.
378
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,912
We're running out of time
to find Danuta,
379
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,372
and I haven't gotten
the keys yet!
380
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,748
But you did get topper!
381
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,792
I say we drop
the investigation
382
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,835
and see where this
cheerleading thing takes you!
383
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:05,089
Unhelpful. Steve,
please tell me you have an idea.
384
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:08,384
What? They keep
food concessions separate from beverages?
385
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,885
I can't reconcile this.
386
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,179
Danuta, you morons! Ugh!
387
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,230
I'll have to get into
that closet myself.
388
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,858
Ha, the jig is up, ladies!
389
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,736
It's Hayley! Run!
390
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,697
It's time to come clean.
391
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:31,699
Hayley, our secret is,
392
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:36,203
we can't afford to give
all our fans authentic Babes pom poms.
393
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,872
So we buy these knockoffs
on Alibaba.com
394
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,582
and give them away instead.
395
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,167
This is your big secret?
396
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,920
[sobbing] You must think
we're monsters.
397
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,338
No, you're not.
398
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,757
This whole time,
you were acting so weird
399
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,260
but you're all so innocent.
400
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,847
Wait, who's not here?
401
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,683
- Carly! It was you!
- I don't kn-
402
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,476
The note, my brakes,
403
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,396
it all happened
as I went up the pyramid.
404
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,856
You were trying
to scare me off
405
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,399
because you thought
I was a threat!
406
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,484
Brakes? What are you
talking about?
407
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:10,279
I just wrote you a note
because I know something weird is going on
408
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,697
and I don't want you
to get hurt.
409
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,324
So you don't know
where Danuta is?
410
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,910
- No! I have no idea!
- [woman] But I know!
411
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,413
Carly,
cheerleader to cheerleader, you gotta tell me.
412
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,582
Do I have time to turn around
and see who this is?
413
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,751
Or is my head about to be
covered with a big sack?
414
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:25,669
- [woman] Sack attack!
- [Hayley] Called it.
415
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,963
- Hayley! Are you okay?
- Danuta?
416
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,966
You're lucky,
I had to eat my way out of my own sack.
417
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,468
Danuta, thank God!
418
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,596
- Who put you here?
- [woman] I did.
419
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:36,847
Carly?
420
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,807
I didn't say that,
my hands are tied.
421
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,768
Carly's mom?
422
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,144
Why are you doing this?
423
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,937
I was a great cheerleader.
424
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,105
I was a topper!
425
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,441
It was my whole life
until that bitch
426
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,152
Cyrus Mooney Jr
said I was too old to cheer.
427
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,529
- But I'm not too old to kill!
- Us?
428
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,073
No, I just needed
all potential toppers out of the way.
429
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,784
Now if you'll excuse me,
430
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,744
I have to go put on
my daughter's uniform,
431
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,454
climb to the top
of the pyramid,
432
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,248
and when Cyrus
comes out to catch a kiss, it'll be a kiss...
433
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,417
of death.
434
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,836
Kiss of death, y'all!
435
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,754
This is bad.
436
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,964
Why are you wearing
a cheerleading uniform?
437
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,925
I went undercover
looking for you.
438
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,845
And I gotta say,
I take back everything I said about cheerleaders.
439
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,388
To your face
and behind your back.
440
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:21,266
You might not believe this,
but in high school-
441
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,560
- You were bullied
by a cheerleader? - Yeah.
442
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,687
- Can you believe it?
- Yes.
443
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,232
Excuse me, Wheels.
Let me just fart in here real quick
444
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,691
and then we'll resume
the search-
445
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,361
Oh, hey, ladies!
You're rescued!
446
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,530
Thank God!
How did you find us-
447
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,681
- [all groan]
- Oh, no!
448
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:38,909
Jill was trying
to get reimbursed
449
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,203
for an unbelievable
amount of mileage,
450
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,705
so in my capacity
as team accountant,
451
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,249
I put a tracker on her car.
452
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,584
While I ate
four dozen deviled eggs!
453
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,253
Now let's go, girls.
454
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,712
[doorknob rattling]
455
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,882
Which one of you prisoners
has the key to this door?
456
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,760
- Damn it!
- Did someone say "Dominic"?
457
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,345
No, get out of here, ya creep!
458
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,055
No, wait, help us, you creep!
459
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,807
We gotta get out of here
and stop Jill!
460
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:02,975
Did you bring your rope?
461
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,728
Why do people always
think I have a rope?
462
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,483
Ew. Your hands are so clammy!
463
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,943
[crowd cheering]
464
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,195
[announcer] And now,
our halftime performers,
465
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,281
the Bazooka Shark Babes!
466
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:20,284
Due to an uptick
in uninvestigated disappearances,
467
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:23,829
today's topper
will be... Carly!
468
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,581
Jill, what are you doing?
469
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,291
No, it's me, Carly.
470
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:30,128
You're confused because
I look just like my young mom.
471
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,841
[crowd cheering]
472
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,469
You want your kiss
don't ya, Cyrus?
473
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,768
Pucker up and eat this!
474
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,232
Old face, meet young foot!
475
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,901
So close.
476
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,986
- [all groan]
- [dart whizzes]
477
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:59,616
Gorilla Stars rule,
Sharks drool-
478
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,786
'Zooka Sharks.
479
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,455
[handcuffs click]
480
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,624
Well, we did it again, Wheels.
481
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,208
Case closed, Legman.
482
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,003
Couldn't have done it
without you.
483
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,588
What exactly did you guys do?
484
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,840
Well, maybe this wasn't
our best work.
485
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,842
Maybe we've lost
a step, Wheels.
486
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,802
[gasps] I don't like
that expression.
487
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,388
How insensitive of me.
488
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,560
Jill's going away
for a long time.
489
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,520
And Danuta'll be back
on top of the pyramid!
490
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,940
{\an8}You know, I think
I'm hanging up my pom poms.
491
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,900
{\an8}The abduction
was really traumatic
492
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,028
{\an8}and I feel I need
to be in therapy for a good long time.
493
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,446
{\an8}You don't need therapy!
494
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,949
{\an8}Therapy is for people
who couldn't be cheerleaders.
495
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,241
{\an8}Thanks, Hayley.
496
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,952
{\an8}I can't believe you did
this all by yourself.
497
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,213
{\an8}I had a little help.
498
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,956
{\an8}Very little.
499
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,625
{\an8}- Is she still looking?
- I don't care anymore.
500
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:52,960
{\an8}As far as I'm concerned,
501
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,296
{\an8}we're the only two people
in the world.
502
00:20:55,346 --> 00:20:59,896
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