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1
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,484
All right, come here.
Stand right here.
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,987
There. Tell me
you don't hear it.
3
00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,488
I don't hear it.
4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,856
Wait a second.
5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,492
Okay, now. You don't hear that?
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,994
I don't hear it.
7
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:17,995
It's humming.
8
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,497
It's like a high hum.
9
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,505
You don't find it annoying?
10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,007
Yes, I do.
11
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,009
I meant the hum.
12
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,011
Why do you let this
stuff bother you?
13
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,512
I don't let it.
14
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,779
You look for it.
15
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,415
I don't look for
it. It's like you.
16
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,183
You can't let go
of the slanty floor?
17
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,184
Well, that slants.
18
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,519
It doesn't slant.
19
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,521
Oh, come on.
Right here it slants.
20
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,423
Whoa! Every time I'm
here, I'm telling you.
21
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,025
I don't feel it because
there's no slant.
22
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,027
You don't feel it? You've
lived here all these years?
23
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,529
Every time I come in here: Whoa!
24
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,531
Every single time. I
think it's at the bottom.
25
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:57,501
I'm not even as tall
as I am down here.
26
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:58,623
Whoa!
27
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,981
♪ Tell me why ♪
28
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,917
♪ I love you like I do ♪
29
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,485
♪ Tell me who ♪
30
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,488
♪ Can stop my heart
As much as you ♪
31
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,989
♪ Let's take Each other's hand ♪
32
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,491
♪ As we jump ♪
33
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,993
♪ Into the final frontier ♪
34
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,785
♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
35
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,441
Murray, I never knew
you had a thing for terriers.
36
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:39,076
I thought you were
like, a poodle man.
37
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,761
No, no, no, no, I'm not judging.
38
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,647
How is it out?
39
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:45,682
It's a little nippy.
40
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:46,950
Sweater nippy or jacket nippy?
41
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,452
Cold as hell nippy.
42
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,588
Ask me again. I
like saying nippy.
43
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,890
You want to come with me?
44
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,525
Where are you going?
45
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,860
Going up to 44th Street to
pick up my mother's watch,
46
00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,897
and then to 1st Avenue to buy a
new bath mat and some towels.
47
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:05,034
Wow. Okay, first of all,
not only don't I want to go,
48
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:09,038
but had I gone and you
led me to such places,
49
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,440
I would literally
never forgive you.
50
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,576
Want to at least come
and have brunch with me?
51
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,878
No. You know what? I'm
tired. I'm just going to hang out.
52
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:17,880
All right. See you
when I get back.
53
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,438
Okay. You have fun.
54
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,786
Want to go to Dvorik's
and get some shoes?
55
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,089
Not so much.
56
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,257
You need shoes.
57
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,558
Yeah, but you know
what, I'm just going to...
58
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,059
If I get a bath mat
you don't like...
59
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,661
You won't hear a peep out of me.
60
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,064
Would you mind
turning the music down?
61
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,699
Hal has a me-graine.
62
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,034
A what?
63
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,637
A me-graine. A headache.
64
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,581
You try giving
him some a-spirin?
65
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,974
I beg your pardon?
66
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,476
We'll turn it down.
67
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,477
Thank you.
68
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,212
I hate her.
69
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,014
It's not even loud.
70
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,616
You won't even come
have brunch with me?
71
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,484
I can't. I got to wait
for the handyman.
72
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,520
You're going to spend
a whole Saturday inside
73
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,522
because of some stupid
hum in a refrigerator?
74
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,524
It was a hum, now it's a buzz.
75
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,025
If it was a hum,
76
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,027
I would have lived
with it, believe me.
77
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,331
Fine. Goodbye.
78
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,731
Should I get light or dark?
79
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,732
What?
80
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,134
The bath mat.
81
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,135
Light.
82
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,236
What if we... Dark.
83
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,100
But don't you think...? Light.
84
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,041
Dark!
85
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,043
You see what they do, Murray?
86
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,045
They try to wear you down.
87
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:25,048
You must never,
ever fall for that.
88
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,775
Whereas that you can't fight.
89
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,594
How long can it take
to buy a bath mat?
90
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,262
I don't really
know, and frankly,
91
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,564
I don't want to find out.
92
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,566
We'll go there first, and
then you can come home.
93
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,534
Never going to happen my friend.
94
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,902
Oh, I love that expression.
95
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,571
There you go.
96
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,462
Oh, well... That was tea, but...
97
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,732
Right. Okay.
98
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,114
That is good.
99
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,516
Meanwhile, I ordered
mozzarella, not jack.
100
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,017
You can tell the difference?
101
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,319
Yeah.
102
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,820
Oh, good for you.
103
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,322
You don't need that.
104
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,624
You don't need a bath
mat and you're getting one.
105
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,293
We do need a bath mat. The
one we have is torn and faded.
106
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,794
But it does the job, you know?
107
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,531
It gets between the warm
foot and the cold tile every time.
108
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:17,701
And let's be honest, that's what
we're paying the bath mat to do.
109
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,225
Fine. You don't want
to go, just say so.
110
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:24,374
Okay, do you guys
have another credit card?
111
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,875
Sure. What's the matter?
112
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:29,011
I had to cut this one up.
113
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,481
You... What do you...? What?
114
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,616
Yeah.
115
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,150
Why? Why would you do that?
116
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,252
They told me to.
117
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,620
Who?
118
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,942
Right. The voice over the phone.
119
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,859
Did you pay the Visa bill?
Of course I paid the Visa bill.
120
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,861
So why would they
tell her to cut it up?
121
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,363
I don't know. Must
have been a mistake.
122
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,365
What kind of mistake is that?
123
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,366
I don't know. The computer?
124
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,867
It's not even like
they declined it.
125
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,370
They told her to literally
cut it in half? They said that?
126
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,971
What kind of terrible
thing would it say
127
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,172
in that computer about me?
128
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,040
Won't go with wife
to the bath store?
129
00:04:58,064 --> 00:04:59,643
That's good. Make a joke.
130
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,244
It's not a big deal.
131
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,279
Okay. Better?
132
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,636
Yeah. This one was
much easier to cut.
133
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,017
Are you kidding?
134
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,519
Oh, now it's a big deal?
135
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:12,522
You didn't even bring
me the right cheese.
136
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,106
Okay.
137
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,528
You know what, honey?
Let's just pay cash.
138
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,029
All right? This is
just about there.
139
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,531
All right? Nice big tip for you
140
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:24,033
for ripping up our
cards. Thank you.
141
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,035
I've got like $1.04 to my name.
142
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,037
We can go to the cash machine
143
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,039
on our way to the bath store.
144
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,431
All right. Great. I'm not
going to the bath store.
145
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,551
You know why
it's taking so long?
146
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,942
It's not a bank, it's an "ank."
147
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,762
What, is this guy
entering his fail-safe code?
148
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,897
I have to get enough
for the bath store.
149
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,899
What is it with the bath store?
150
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,336
It's like the biggest
thing in your life now.
151
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,804
Hmm?
152
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,540
Why don't you just ask the
man to take his pants off?
153
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,841
All right, all right.
154
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,010
Then you can see
what is and what isn't.
155
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,514
I can't believe that waitress
rips my card right in half.
156
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,316
She did it to mine too.
157
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,452
No, I'm saying I can't
believe she ripped your card,
158
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,019
that she would do that to you,
159
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,521
is what upset...
English or Spanish?
160
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,023
Why would they give
it to you in English?
161
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,525
So if you speak Spanish,
162
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,026
you can't even
understand the choice.
163
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,027
Okay.
164
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,529
It's working out.
165
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,530
Withdraw from...
166
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,531
Checking.
167
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,555
Checking.
168
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,034
Oh, I love that sound.
169
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,537
Right in half. She
just rips it right in half.
170
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,973
"Cannot complete transaction.
171
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,475
Your card is confiscated."
172
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,976
Why is this?
173
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:40,977
What?! They can't do that.
174
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,144
Hey! Hey!
175
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:45,047
Your friend with the nice
ass took all the money.
176
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,549
Use the phone.
177
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,050
Why don't we just go in?
178
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,552
Because the phone is faster.
179
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,053
I'm already on hold.
180
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,290
Oh, God. I hate Harry Connick.
181
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,892
What do you mean?
You like Harry Connick.
182
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,293
It's the new one.
183
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,317
Oh.
184
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,498
Why don't we just go in?
185
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,501
Yes. Hello. Your
machine ate our card.
186
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,503
Yes. No.
187
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,504
Fine.
188
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,060
Just go in.
189
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,379
Hello. What can I do for you?
190
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:19,315
Your cash machine
ate my card up.
191
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,817
Oh, it does that sometimes.
192
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,286
May I have your
cash card number?
193
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,288
Sadly, no, because
the cash card number's
194
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,023
on the actual cash card itself,
195
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,526
which, as I mentioned
earlier in the sentence,
196
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,028
was eaten by your machine.
197
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,963
Let's solve this
together, shall we?
198
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,465
Please, sit down.
199
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,699
Your name?
200
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,924
Buchman. That's B as in "ank."
201
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,541
Ooh, look at all the Buchmans.
202
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,675
I'm twelfth.
203
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:46,676
Paul.
204
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,677
What?
205
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,701
Oh, Paul.
206
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,748
Ooh, look at all the Pauls.
207
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:54,617
We have 10,000 accounts
in this branch alone.
208
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,040
And two tellers open.
209
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,724
Hmm...
210
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,359
I think I've found your problem.
211
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,360
Oh, which is what?
212
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,394
You're dead.
213
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,930
Excuse me?
214
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,932
He's dead.
215
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:12,435
In the sense that what?
216
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:15,505
It says here that you
died two days ago.
217
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,761
I'm so sorry.
218
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:24,013
Well, clearly, I'm
not dead. See? Look.
219
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,470
Well...
220
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,785
It says you are.
221
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,687
Can you make it say otherwise?
222
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,121
Bring me back to life?
223
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,256
I'm afraid I'm not
authorized to do that.
224
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,693
Well, probably it's one of
your other Paul Buchmans.
225
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,028
Probably. Do you
keep joint accounts?
226
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,530
Mm-hm.
227
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,699
Oh. As long as you're
dead, she's dead too.
228
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,368
So how do we fix this?
229
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,871
Oh, you just fill
out these forms
230
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:50,373
and give them to my
supervisor, Mr. Williams.
231
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,710
I bet he's gone for
the weekend, isn't he?
232
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,011
Yes, he is.
233
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,514
He has a house on Montauk...
234
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,904
And a companion.
235
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,086
Are they happy?
236
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,688
Very.
237
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,189
We don't really care.
238
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,491
Okay.
239
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,727
So, what happens now?
240
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:14,731
Um... I'm afraid you're
both dead till Monday.
241
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,388
That's why I felt so tired.
242
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,775
I can't find this guy's
obituary anywhere.
243
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,276
Found a quarter.
244
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:31,047
Seventeen more of these and
one of us can go to a movie.
245
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,082
Meanwhile, where is this guy?
246
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,717
Do me a favor. Next
time you're dead,
247
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,086
do it on Friday so
I can cash a check.
248
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,055
Here it is, here
it is, here it is.
249
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,991
Buchman. Buchman, Paul David.
250
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:42,992
Blah, blah, blah.
251
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,894
"Manhattan...
252
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,229
Survived by family,
friends, and dog."
253
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,766
Oh, a dog. That's sad.
254
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:54,537
"Services today,
Everly Chapel, 2:00."
255
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,039
He's a Shriner.
256
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,908
Wonder what they
do with the hat.
257
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,444
Maybe they bury him in it.
258
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,835
Just seems like such a waste.
259
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,382
Did you hear something?
260
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,484
Yeah, like a... pfft.
261
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,686
Yeah.
262
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,687
Maybe we won something.
263
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:13,078
We may already be a winner.
264
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,460
It's from the landlord.
265
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:18,962
"Condolences on your loss.
266
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,463
"Vacating the premises
267
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,465
"requires 60 days notice.
268
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:25,935
Sadly, Mel Wertzel."
269
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,637
Very nice of Mel to think of you
270
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,072
in your time of need.
271
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,840
I'm never giving this place up.
272
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,208
What do you need
all this space for?
273
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,443
I don't know.
Everything is here.
274
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,079
Everything except
me. Because I be dead.
275
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,580
Can we stop this?
276
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:40,149
I wonder how he died.
They don't say how he died.
277
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,351
Yeah, me too. I was just
wondering the same thing.
278
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,587
What are you doing?
You're depressing me.
279
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,089
Come on, let's go out.
280
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,523
And do what? We're dead...
281
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,525
And broke. We're dead and broke.
282
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,761
We've got to have something.
283
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,097
Don't we have like, an
emergency 20 somewhere?
284
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,397
I spent it.
285
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,398
On what?
286
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,399
Fruit.
287
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,802
It was an emergency.
288
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,705
When did we have
a fruit emergency?
289
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,641
I didn't want to tell you.
290
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,585
I'm going to check
all my pockets.
291
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,499
Found another quarter.
292
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,716
I'm so sorry.
293
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,352
What did we do now?
294
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,854
I realize that Hal and I
295
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,056
haven't been the best
of neighbors at times.
296
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,992
You started a petition.
297
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,461
I can't tell you how
stunned we were
298
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,464
when we read the
obituary this morning.
299
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,465
Really?
300
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,656
Well, thank you.
301
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,472
You know, Paul
always wanted so much
302
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,340
for you to like him.
303
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,977
And we tried, but, um...
304
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,501
Why speak ill?
305
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,083
You must be devastated.
306
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,472
Ah, easy come, easy go.
307
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,023
I beg your pardon?
308
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,927
Listen, you don't know
any single men, do you?
309
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,195
Single men?
310
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,420
Ooh, eats. Fantastic.
I have a date tonight.
311
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,435
Even the Kramdens, they
always had $12 they kept...
312
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,804
Hi, how are you?
313
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,628
Ooh. That's just rude.
314
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,510
What the hell was that?
315
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,614
I was toying with
her little British head.
316
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,448
Did you find any money?
317
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,951
Four dimes and a Necco wafer.
318
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,453
When did you buy Necco wafers?
319
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,055
1972.
320
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,025
Can't you teach
your sister to knock?
321
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,526
Leave her alone.
322
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,428
Hey, what's up? Hey.
323
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,230
Well, I'm dead.
324
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,266
You're dead? I
didn't get in till 4:00.
325
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,768
What is this from?
326
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,269
Your doorman was
holding them for you.
327
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,771
"So long, old sailor."
328
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,406
Probably the wrong Paul Buchman.
329
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,908
I'd say so. Sure.
330
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,509
Do you have any English muffins?
331
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,711
Do you have any money?
332
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,213
You're going to charge me?
333
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,215
No. We need to
borrow a few dollars.
334
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,716
What's a few dollars?
335
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,218
I don't know. 20 or 30 bucks.
336
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,420
Really not
comfortable with that.
337
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,757
I'm sorry. What?
338
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,258
It creates bad vibes.
339
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,027
How about the like,
$600 you owe us?
340
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,129
See?
341
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,965
You have two
10s. I'm taking one.
342
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,233
Okay, but just
remember it's a loan.
343
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,234
Of course.
344
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,434
Hey, why don't we deduct it
345
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,836
from the amount
you already owe us?
346
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,704
What kind of scam is that?
347
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,006
We will pay you back.
348
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,608
Soon. Hey, any bacon?
349
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,499
Go look.
350
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,113
"So long, old sailor."
351
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,615
That's just what it
comes down to, isn't it?
352
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,117
Kind of sad, isn't it?
353
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,618
Yeah. Well, not necessarily.
354
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,087
He was old,
355
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,455
and he could sail,
and he had a dog.
356
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:34,957
So that's a full life, huh?
357
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,358
You're really putting the
whole puzzle together,
358
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,459
aren't you?
359
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,961
Here's what I got.
360
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,462
This guy, he had a boat.
361
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,998
He had a big mahogany
50-foot beauty,
362
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,967
and he would sail, he would
just sail all over the world,
363
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,624
just him and his dog.
364
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,406
And his wife. You
didn't let me finish.
365
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,875
And his wife... Ellen.
366
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:54,410
I've decided Ellen.
367
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,379
And they would sail,
the three of them,
368
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,848
and he was a fighter.
369
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,249
You know, he would drink a lot.
370
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,918
He was a drinker and a fighter.
371
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,452
And he would... He
knew sea chanteys.
372
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,221
That's what I'm thinking,
he knew sea chanteys,
373
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:08,390
and he would sing
the chanteys to his wife
374
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,781
as he beat the
crap out of others.
375
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,564
That's what I think he did.
376
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,799
What are you doing?
377
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,801
I'm calling the florist so
they can pick them up.
378
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,269
Oh, they're not going to care.
379
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,871
Well, we can't keep them.
380
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,941
Hey, you know what we should...
Why don't we bring them over?
381
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,242
Where?
382
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,743
To the chapel.
383
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,245
I think Paul should know
384
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,480
that he got a lovely
arrangement here.
385
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,049
Oh, come on. What?
386
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,450
You don't care about
this guy's flowers.
387
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,319
You just want to meet him.
388
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,955
I want... The dead guy? I
want to meet the dead guy?
389
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,224
That's, like, the
sickest thing you've...
390
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,959
All right, a little bit. Yeah.
391
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,027
Forget it. Why? Come on.
392
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,428
We can't afford to
do anything else.
393
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,097
We're not crashing a funeral.
394
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,598
It's going to be fun. No.
395
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,468
It's on the way
to the bath store.
396
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,092
Okay. See?
397
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,647
Hello! How are you today?
398
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,149
Why am I asking?
399
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,650
You must be sad.
400
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:09,974
No, uh...
401
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,588
This is the Buchman funeral?
402
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,674
Sign the book. I'm right back.
403
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,628
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
404
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,698
He said to sign the
book, so I'm just signing...
405
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,133
Ooh, what should I put?
406
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,356
I shouldn't put Paul Buchman.
407
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,438
They'll think I'm
clowning around.
408
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,440
Um... Pete?
409
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,942
Fine.
410
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:33,943
Pete... Pete.
411
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,078
I don't look like a Pete.
412
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,446
Leonard.
413
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,448
Leonard? I look like
a Leonard to you?
414
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,950
Just sign it. All right, then.
415
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,352
Who do you want to
be? Just put Mr. and Mrs.
416
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,853
I thought you hate that.
417
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,455
Because last time
we were at the Hilton,
418
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,047
you said your
identity gets all blurry.
419
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:52,395
Donna.
420
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,629
Donna?
421
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,131
Donna's good. Good.
422
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,033
Leonard and Donna.
423
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,389
Ah...
424
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,404
That's probably him.
425
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,671
It better be. Come on.
426
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,674
Just put the flowers
down and let's go.
427
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,176
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
428
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,279
Oh, look. Look. His little hat.
429
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,847
Honey, let's go.
430
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,349
You want to look?
431
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,417
What?
432
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,319
Sometimes they like to look.
433
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,421
No, no, no, no. Thanks. No.
434
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,922
Who can blame you?
435
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,812
Death. What a crazy business.
436
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,427
Wait a second.
437
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,728
Is it really okay to look?
438
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,897
That's what he's here for.
439
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,399
What, are you kidding?
440
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,934
Come on, I'm just curious.
441
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,936
This, you know, this
could be me in there.
442
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,973
Then you, my friend,
you would have to remarry.
443
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,975
Beautiful young girl like this
444
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,443
would remarry very fast.
445
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,444
Thank you.
446
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,644
Who would you marry?
447
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,948
I don't know. You
want me to be a widow?
448
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,984
No, I just want to
know who the guy is.
449
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,375
You're dead. Why's
it your business?
450
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:55,624
Here. This is for
you, for whenever.
451
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:56,625
Thank you.
452
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,461
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
453
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,463
You don't need this. My
parents have the guy...
454
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,465
Oh, that's right. Come
on. No, wait a second.
455
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,300
I'd like to know who this
guy is you're marrying?
456
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,601
Don't start.
457
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,169
Maybe we should
look for a triple plot.
458
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,770
There is no guy.
459
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,873
If I'm going to be
buried next to the guy,
460
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,808
I'd like to be introduced.
You won't be next to him.
461
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,943
I'll be in the middle. You
make a joke like that...
462
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,247
It's good to see you.
463
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,315
It's good to see you.
464
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,984
You don't recognize me, do you?
465
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:25,821
I got to say... you
know, I'm trying, but, uh...
466
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,123
Monty.
467
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,426
Monty. Yes, and I am, uh...
468
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,428
Gladys' kid, right?
469
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,963
That's exactly...
Yes, of course.
470
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,298
And you must be, uh...
471
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,933
Donna. Donna.
472
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,635
Donna.
473
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,904
So how do you like Toronto?
474
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,439
We like it.
475
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,329
You know, it's nippy.
476
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,877
It's nippy, but it's friendly,
477
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,547
so we enjoy it there in Toronto.
478
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,416
Paul said that he
loved your cabin.
479
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,419
He said that? He
was at the cabin?
480
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,287
Sure. He used to
write to me a lot.
481
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:01,890
What was it about
him, do you think, really?
482
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,615
He was Paul
Buchman, one of a kind.
483
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,666
I'd like to get
this guy's number.
484
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,034
Okay, we've had enough fun.
485
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,835
Wait a second. Did
you hear what he said?
486
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,471
One of a kind.
487
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,872
Paul Buchman was one of a kind.
488
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,407
Now he's gone. But you're not.
489
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,409
I know, but I could
be. Honey, come on.
490
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,312
I mean, look, as far as Visa
and everybody else is concerned,
491
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,047
that's me. I am in there.
492
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,182
You know?
493
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,452
Oh, honey, I feel terrible.
494
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,920
I haven't told your mother yet,
495
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,423
but I left her a message.
496
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,925
Your husband was a good man,
497
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,427
a good man.
498
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,318
Bad credit, but...
499
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,434
I'm so sorry.
500
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,825
I had the worst weekend. Oh!
501
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,873
Did he mention that
$10 he owes me?
502
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:53,375
Yes, he did.
503
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,399
Great. Thanks.
504
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:02,907
Okay.
505
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,362
Man, does that dress look good.
506
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,297
You're here.
507
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,798
Of course I'm here.
508
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,401
What did you
think, I'd miss this?
509
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:20,902
Well, then, who's that?
510
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:21,903
Who is that?
511
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:23,905
Oh! I guess I'm not so here.
512
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,408
I mean, I'm here, but I'm there,
513
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:27,976
so that's... interesting, huh?
514
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,478
You mean you're a ghost?
515
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,979
That's what I'm thinking,
516
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,415
because otherwise this
makes absolutely no sense
517
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:36,685
to be in two places.
That's it. I must be a ghost.
518
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,987
How am I going
to live without you?
519
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,989
What are you talking
about? I'm here.
520
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,491
But you're dead.
521
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,226
Well, that's the bad news.
522
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,294
What's the good news?
523
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,328
Good news is,
524
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,564
I have been
assigned to haunt you.
525
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,132
How are you going to haunt me?
526
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,467
Same as before.
527
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,968
You never haunted me.
528
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:56,539
You just did annoying
things once in a while.
529
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,006
Like what?
530
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,142
What difference does it
make? I'd like to know.
531
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,178
It doesn't matter now. You
say something like that...
532
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,280
I'm saying once every
blue moon. Well, yeah, like...
533
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,837
Like this kind of
thing. Yeah, well, boo.
534
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,320
God, you look good.
535
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,454
Oh, it's unbelievable.
536
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,657
You can eat whatever you want.
537
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,159
You know what I
had for breakfast?
538
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,661
Four eggs and a pie.
539
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,396
I never shave.
It's unbelievable.
540
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,231
I want to go with you.
541
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:25,267
Well, you can't. You
have things to do.
542
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,635
Like what?
543
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,604
Don't you have
to get a bath mat?
544
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,806
Suddenly, that doesn't
seem so important now.
545
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,730
Jamie. Come on.
We're double-parked.
546
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,745
Hey, hey, hey, wait a second.
547
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,869
What?
548
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,983
Uh, nothing. Nothing.
549
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,007
Go ahead.
550
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,188
Have a good life.
551
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,956
You too.
552
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:48,957
I did.
553
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,192
Really?
554
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,193
Yeah.
555
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,217
Go.
556
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:55,931
James?
557
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,100
Um, come here a sec.
558
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,436
Just... Maybe it's
silly, but you know...
559
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,326
You know, I was thinking...
560
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,384
Oh, why did you have to do that?
561
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:16,385
Because I figured...
562
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:17,419
Yeah, but play fair.
563
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,554
Go. Enjoy yourself.
564
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,622
Oh, fat chance now.
565
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:20,623
I know.
566
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,380
Forget it.
567
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:29,632
Ooh!
568
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:30,633
What?
569
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:31,657
Hey, hey.
570
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,072
What was that for?
571
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,663
Just like this.
572
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,143
So sad.
573
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,344
Oh, it's sad, the whole thing.
574
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:44,513
It's all sad. It's amazing.
575
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,415
You know, he sailed
all around the world
576
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:48,016
and never had so much as a cold.
577
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,919
Then one morning he
steps out of the shower,
578
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,421
slips, and breaks his neck.
579
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,512
If only he had a bath mat.
580
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,805
Whoa! There's a
slant. You're right.
581
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,807
Whoa! Absolutely right.
582
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,842
There's a big slant
right there, like a whoa!
583
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,277
Told you.
584
00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:17,846
Yeah. Sorry I doubted you.
585
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,482
You hear the hum? I don't.
586
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,050
You don't hear the hum? Hm-mm.
587
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,084
I felt the slant.
588
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:24,687
Honey, I'm really trying.
589
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,755
Person gives you a
slant, you give them a hum.
590
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:27,989
I'm sorry, I don't hear it.
591
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,758
What am I, crazy?
There's a hum there.
592
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,148
There's no hum.
593
00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:37,061
There's a big hum.
39870
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