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1
00:00:00,444 --> 00:00:07,354
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,280
Hey, Stuby-Doo.
Tell me the truth, buddy.
3
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,335
You still hurt from
that beating last Friday?
4
00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,581
Huh. I'm alright.
5
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,297
I still got some blood in my urine.
6
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:17,783
Yeah. I once had blood in my semen.
7
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:19,581
- Looked like a candy cane.
- Ugh.
8
00:00:19,701 --> 00:00:21,385
- Don't tell me that.
- Well, we're on the topic.
9
00:00:21,505 --> 00:00:23,568
Don't compare your semen
to a Christmas candy.
10
00:00:23,688 --> 00:00:24,682
It's funny you say that,
11
00:00:24,802 --> 00:00:26,025
cause it was
around the holidays, too.
12
00:00:26,125 --> 00:00:28,826
- Oh, stop it!
- Hey, what's this guy doing?
13
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:31,829
Looks like we got
something over here.
14
00:00:35,066 --> 00:00:37,935
Well, well, well,
what do we got here?
15
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:39,403
Ugh!
16
00:00:39,405 --> 00:00:41,872
Looks like it's hot enough
to fry a leg on the sidewalk.
17
00:00:41,874 --> 00:00:42,940
[Chuckles]
18
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:44,341
Right? I mean,
not an egg but a leg.
19
00:00:44,343 --> 00:00:46,243
- We get it.
- What do you guys know, anyway?
20
00:00:46,245 --> 00:00:47,845
How's it going today, sir?
21
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:49,580
[Grunts]
22
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,115
[Chuckles]
23
00:00:52,117 --> 00:00:53,984
Ahh.
24
00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:55,118
Hey, buddy.
25
00:00:56,588 --> 00:00:58,922
Oh! Ho-ho-ho!
26
00:00:58,924 --> 00:01:00,924
- Oh!
- Oh!
27
00:01:00,926 --> 00:01:02,559
This zombie smells like balls!
28
00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:03,760
- Ugh.
- Wow!
29
00:01:03,762 --> 00:01:05,496
Why do you smell like balls?
30
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:06,697
That's probably
not a great idea.
31
00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,699
- Why?
- 'Cause you never know if, uh--
32
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,200
Hey, you got
a permit to be here?
33
00:01:14,739 --> 00:01:17,708
- Well, now we know.
- Now we know.
34
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,109
One year ago...
35
00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:20,944
Vampire, werewolves,
and zombies...
36
00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:24,281
Descended upon California's
San Fernando valley.
37
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:29,119
Authorities remain baffled
by their origins.
38
00:01:29,121 --> 00:01:31,788
♪ Love is nasty
'cause it gets so rotten ♪
39
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:34,458
♪ I think it's time to put
this body in the ground ♪
40
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:38,795
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
41
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:40,297
♪ we're losing all control ♪
42
00:01:40,299 --> 00:01:42,466
♪ the buildings
all turn to dust ♪
43
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:43,967
♪ and I think
it's getting closer ♪
44
00:01:43,969 --> 00:01:47,037
♪ 'cause
they're coming for us ♪
45
00:01:47,039 --> 00:01:49,172
Is there a lack
of energy out here,
46
00:01:49,174 --> 00:01:50,774
or is it just my imagination?
47
00:01:50,776 --> 00:01:52,843
Captain, when are we
gonna get the A.C. fixed?
48
00:01:52,845 --> 00:01:55,045
I will answer that
question with a question.
49
00:01:55,047 --> 00:01:56,313
Would you rather have
air-conditioning
50
00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,514
or the streets free of crime?
51
00:01:57,516 --> 00:01:59,349
How are those
even the two choices?
52
00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:01,285
I will ignore that question
with a story.
53
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,687
As many of you may recall,
last week,
54
00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:05,622
John-John played
whack-a-mole
55
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,157
with a senior citizen.
56
00:02:07,159 --> 00:02:09,226
As a result,
we are under temporary oversight
57
00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:12,029
by Internal Affairs.
58
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,197
And just because
Deputy Chief Ribbings
59
00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:17,134
comes to us with very little
real-world experience
60
00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:19,136
and a total lack
of understanding
61
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,505
of what we actually do here
on a daily basis
62
00:02:21,507 --> 00:02:24,041
is no reason to treat him
with disrespect.
63
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,609
Deputy chief Ribbings.
64
00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:27,244
Okay.
65
00:02:27,246 --> 00:02:30,113
Officer Johnson's recent mishap
66
00:02:30,115 --> 00:02:31,815
has resulted in new protocols
67
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:35,586
that are to be followed
by all UTF personnel.
68
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,254
When it comes
to proper protocol,
69
00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:39,256
killing zombies
is really no different
70
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,959
than killing any other citizen.
71
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,027
I believe officer Johnson
already proved that, sir.
72
00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:45,562
Right, John-John?
73
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:46,930
Huh?
74
00:02:46,932 --> 00:02:48,532
Up top.
All right.
75
00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:51,034
These cards will guide you
when encountering
76
00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:53,470
a potential undead suspect,
or...
77
00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:54,972
Pus.
78
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:58,342
They will help you
to interrogate the pus,
79
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,811
determine if he
or she is indeed undead,
80
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,512
confirm that determination,
81
00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:04,848
and then proceed
to dispatch him.
82
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:06,917
"Excuse me,
I'm a police officer,
83
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:08,051
"and I have cause to believe
84
00:03:08,053 --> 00:03:10,420
you may have contracted
the zombie virus."
85
00:03:10,422 --> 00:03:11,655
Well, that's moronic.
86
00:03:11,657 --> 00:03:13,123
I'll get myself killed
if I do that.
87
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:15,592
And these on-ear look-see
video cameras you'll be wearing,
88
00:03:15,594 --> 00:03:17,427
which are also neatly placed
on your desks,
89
00:03:17,429 --> 00:03:19,763
will allow us to see
how you got killed
90
00:03:19,765 --> 00:03:22,099
and how we can prevent
similar deaths in the future.
91
00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:24,167
Any questions?
92
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,435
Okay, people,
I don't like having
93
00:03:25,437 --> 00:03:28,305
Deputy Chief Ribbings here
any more than you do.
94
00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:29,773
But Johnson, Rinaldi,
95
00:03:29,775 --> 00:03:32,776
since you're the ones that took
a dookie in this particular bed,
96
00:03:32,778 --> 00:03:35,512
you'll be the ones to cart this
gentleman around for the day.
97
00:03:35,514 --> 00:03:36,780
[Carla sighs]
98
00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:38,048
The rest of you stay hydrated,
99
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,684
it is 112 degrees in the shade.
100
00:03:40,686 --> 00:03:42,686
If I hear
about one of you dying,
101
00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:45,956
it damn well better be from
a zombie, vampire, or werewolf
102
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:47,624
and not sunstroke.
103
00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:49,192
Is that understood?
104
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,465
- Uh, captain?
- SPF 50, Stubeck.
105
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:57,300
You're not getting
a sunburn today,
106
00:03:57,302 --> 00:03:59,202
not on my watch.
107
00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:02,039
Anyway, let's get out there
and kill something!
108
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,775
Billy. Billy.
109
00:04:07,412 --> 00:04:11,281
- You sure the A.C.'s working?
- Yes, the A.C. is working.
110
00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:14,151
We just got in the car,
give it a few minutes.
111
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,053
Whatever.
I'm not waiting.
112
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,587
- Ahh!
- Stop it.
113
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,689
Put that back on!
114
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:20,290
- Why?
- Department policy.
115
00:04:20,292 --> 00:04:22,292
Yeah? And my policy
is to take my shirt off
116
00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:23,593
when it's hot as balls out.
117
00:04:23,595 --> 00:04:24,928
Why are you always comparing
things to balls?
118
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,663
'Cause balls are hot,
and they smell bad.
119
00:04:26,665 --> 00:04:29,800
Anyway, today it's all
wife-beater all the time.
120
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,069
Don't call them that.
I have a wife whom I respect.
121
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:34,471
- What do call them, then?
- White, ribbed tank tops.
122
00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:35,539
That's what they're called.
123
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:38,041
- Read the package.
- Read my package.
124
00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:39,776
No, I can't read your package.
There's no letters on it.
125
00:04:39,778 --> 00:04:40,944
You know what, man?
126
00:04:40,946 --> 00:04:42,646
It's gross outside today,
all right?
127
00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:44,181
Can you at least try
and have some fun?
128
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,949
Can we please just have
some fun today?
129
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:47,951
I'm nothing but fun.
130
00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:51,521
Check this out.
131
00:04:51,523 --> 00:04:53,290
How are people even
gonna know you're on the job
132
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:54,658
without your uniform on?
133
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:57,327
- That's how.
- Ooh. That's pretty sweet.
134
00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:59,162
- Right there.
- Where'd you get it?
135
00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:00,564
Got it at some place
in Van Nuys.
136
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:01,765
You know, with every tattoo,
137
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,200
they were giving away
a free genital piercing?
138
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,434
What?
139
00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:06,002
I didn't even want
a genital piercing,
140
00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,571
but at those prices,
I'm not gonna say no.
141
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:08,739
Oh!
142
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:10,207
[Over radio]
Attention, all units,
143
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,209
111 in progress,
corner of Victory and Alameda.
144
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:15,946
Hey. Somebody fun
wouldn't answer that.
145
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,315
Don't get it!
146
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,083
This is Stubeck and Pierce.
We're on it.
147
00:05:20,085 --> 00:05:21,318
No fun.
148
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,154
God, it is like
a sauna in here.
149
00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:25,355
Aren't you hot as hell, Carla?
150
00:05:25,357 --> 00:05:27,691
Not taking
my top off, John-John.
151
00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:29,392
Damn.
152
00:05:29,394 --> 00:05:31,228
You know, officer Johnson,
you're awfully smug
153
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:33,730
for a guy who just killed a man
in the prime of his life.
154
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:35,132
He was 82.
155
00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:36,800
And he still ran a mile
three days a week--
156
00:05:36,802 --> 00:05:39,002
or walked a mile,
but at that age,
157
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,437
there's almost no difference.
158
00:05:40,439 --> 00:05:42,005
[Over radio]
Possible 188 in progress
159
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:45,575
at the Mel-o-Dee Nursery--
8233 Lankershim, please respond.
160
00:05:45,577 --> 00:05:47,444
This is Rinaldi.
We're on it.
161
00:05:47,446 --> 00:05:48,545
[Siren wailing]
162
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:51,848
- [Sighs] Here we go.
- How do I look?
163
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,317
- Oh, kind of like a douche.
- Thanks.
164
00:06:01,075 --> 00:06:02,409
So your niece is going
165
00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:03,910
to another one
of those parties later,
166
00:06:03,912 --> 00:06:05,545
and unless you
need me around here,
167
00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:07,113
I was thinking maybe
I'd check up on her again
168
00:06:07,115 --> 00:06:09,115
and make sure she's not getting
into any trouble?
169
00:06:09,117 --> 00:06:11,117
That sounds great, Kirsten.
170
00:06:11,119 --> 00:06:12,819
Awesome, I was just--
171
00:06:12,821 --> 00:06:14,788
Hey, you said my name right.
172
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,324
What's that?
173
00:06:17,326 --> 00:06:19,159
Nothing.
174
00:06:23,564 --> 00:06:26,499
[Siren wailing]
175
00:06:30,104 --> 00:06:32,939
All right, let's go.
176
00:06:32,941 --> 00:06:36,276
- Damn, it is hot as hell.
- I know, right?
177
00:06:36,278 --> 00:06:37,610
Now, remember,
178
00:06:37,612 --> 00:06:39,679
when you see a pus,
you're gonna want to take--
179
00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,247
Look, I know you went
through a lot of trouble
180
00:06:41,249 --> 00:06:42,282
with these cards,
181
00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:44,284
like laminating them
and everything,
182
00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:46,586
- but this is a dumb idea.
- Yeah, seriously, man.
183
00:06:46,588 --> 00:06:48,154
Somebody gonna
get hurt this way, brah.
184
00:06:48,156 --> 00:06:50,156
Well, people were getting
killed your way, brah.
185
00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:52,058
So let's give this
a shot, shall we?
186
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,827
Okay, who's taking point?
187
00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:55,595
Wait, you're not coming
with us, are you?
188
00:06:55,597 --> 00:06:57,130
You bet your ass I am.
189
00:06:57,132 --> 00:06:59,065
- Jesus [bleep].
- Right.
190
00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:01,301
[People screaming,
zombie snarls]
191
00:07:01,303 --> 00:07:03,269
Excuse me.
I am a police officer, and I--
192
00:07:03,271 --> 00:07:04,404
[gunshot]
193
00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:09,342
Of course, it's--
it's probably time for me
194
00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:11,344
to check in
with the home office.
195
00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:12,879
Yep.
196
00:07:12,881 --> 00:07:16,349
I'll let that one go,
but from now on...
197
00:07:16,351 --> 00:07:19,018
Protocol.
198
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,553
- Pro--
- Protocol.
199
00:07:20,555 --> 00:07:22,589
- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah.
200
00:07:22,591 --> 00:07:24,290
Proto--protocol.
201
00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:29,763
No, thank you.
202
00:07:29,765 --> 00:07:32,165
I said, no, gracias--
[Screams]
203
00:07:35,202 --> 00:07:38,204
Hey, sucks to be
that guy today, huh?
204
00:07:38,206 --> 00:07:40,407
Billy, it's never fun
to be that guy.
205
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:41,574
After we take care of this,
206
00:07:41,576 --> 00:07:43,176
we should go buy
some oranges from him.
207
00:07:43,178 --> 00:07:44,277
Yeah, that's a great idea,
208
00:07:44,279 --> 00:07:45,612
if you want to get
the sewer poops.
209
00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:47,046
Ugh! What are
the sewer poops?
210
00:07:47,048 --> 00:07:48,915
It sounds like
a horrible punk-rock band.
211
00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:51,017
[Mexican accent] Please
buy my orange poop pellets.
212
00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:52,852
You think oranges
are poop pellets?
213
00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:54,587
- [Imitating flatulence]
- Ugh!
214
00:07:54,589 --> 00:07:56,189
- [Imitating flatulence]
- Aah!
215
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:02,128
Just to let you know, I'm not
getting out of the car today.
216
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,130
It's brutal out here.
217
00:08:04,132 --> 00:08:06,566
Just a minute.
218
00:08:06,568 --> 00:08:08,635
[Clears throat]
219
00:08:08,637 --> 00:08:09,969
Excuse me!
220
00:08:09,971 --> 00:08:13,306
I am a police officer,
and I have cause to believe
221
00:08:13,308 --> 00:08:15,942
you may have contracted
the zombie virus.
222
00:08:15,944 --> 00:08:17,310
If you can understand me--
223
00:08:17,312 --> 00:08:19,412
The guy's obviously contracted
the zombie virus.
224
00:08:19,414 --> 00:08:20,413
You're right.
225
00:08:20,415 --> 00:08:22,816
Oh, fine.
226
00:08:22,818 --> 00:08:24,818
I have an idea.
227
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,488
You don't think I can have fun?
228
00:08:28,490 --> 00:08:31,458
I can be fun.
[Engine revving]
229
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:34,427
What are you doing?
230
00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:36,963
Yeah!
Bowling for zombies?
231
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:38,331
Yeah!
232
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:41,334
[Rock music]
233
00:08:41,336 --> 00:08:45,438
♪ ♪
234
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,240
- Whoa!
- Ha-ha-ho!
235
00:08:47,242 --> 00:08:48,308
Count it!
236
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,443
[Tires screeching]
Look at you.
237
00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:52,145
You're like a whole new person.
238
00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:02,956
- Oh!
- Yes!
239
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:04,791
That's the sickest thing
I've ever heard.
240
00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:07,093
[Laughs] Oh, man.
241
00:09:07,095 --> 00:09:08,495
Right there, buddy.
242
00:09:10,764 --> 00:09:13,366
Hey, Stu, looks like
you left the seven pin.
243
00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:15,001
[Tires squealing]
244
00:09:20,774 --> 00:09:22,809
[Laughter]
245
00:09:22,811 --> 00:09:25,578
Who is this new guy?
246
00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:28,314
I like him.
247
00:09:28,316 --> 00:09:30,250
Oh, come on!
248
00:09:30,252 --> 00:09:32,185
The guy's like Mickey Rourke
from The Wrestler.
249
00:09:32,187 --> 00:09:33,486
Yeah, he keeps getting up.
250
00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:34,988
No, no, I mean,
the guy looks like
251
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,523
Mickey Rourke
from The Wrestler.
252
00:09:38,959 --> 00:09:40,326
Get him, Stuby!
253
00:09:43,097 --> 00:09:45,999
Yeah, mother lover!
Suck on that!
254
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:48,668
You're a maniac!
You're a maniac!
255
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:51,604
[Tires squealing]
256
00:09:51,606 --> 00:09:53,206
♪ ♪
257
00:10:05,452 --> 00:10:08,087
[Both laughing]
Oh, that's awesome!
258
00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:11,524
Awesome!
259
00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:13,860
Backing her up--
I'm just gonna make sure.
260
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:18,164
[Splattering]
261
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:20,767
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
262
00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:23,903
[Engine revving]
263
00:10:23,905 --> 00:10:26,172
- What's going on?
- Damn it.
264
00:10:26,174 --> 00:10:28,841
We got Mickey Rourke
stuck under our car.
265
00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:39,986
Uh, wow.
266
00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:41,821
What does Rico do?
267
00:10:41,823 --> 00:10:44,657
How does he afford
something like this?
268
00:10:44,659 --> 00:10:47,026
I think his dad's
kind of a big deal.
269
00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:49,495
What, is he some,
like, movie producer agent
270
00:10:49,497 --> 00:10:50,563
or something?
271
00:10:50,565 --> 00:10:53,866
No, silly.
He's a vampire.
272
00:10:53,868 --> 00:10:55,702
So same thing, I guess.
273
00:10:55,704 --> 00:10:57,337
[Chuckles]
274
00:10:57,339 --> 00:11:00,073
Well, don't you ladies
look beautiful.
275
00:11:00,075 --> 00:11:02,675
- Thanks, Rico.
- Thanks for inviting us.
276
00:11:02,677 --> 00:11:04,911
No problem. It's nice
to have some friends over
277
00:11:04,913 --> 00:11:07,380
and just hang out
with my fang out, you know?
278
00:11:07,382 --> 00:11:09,515
You came on a special night.
279
00:11:09,517 --> 00:11:12,318
- How so?
- It's a turning party...
280
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,953
for Claire.
281
00:11:13,955 --> 00:11:16,122
Uh, a-a turning party?
282
00:11:16,124 --> 00:11:17,857
[Smooches]
283
00:11:17,859 --> 00:11:20,093
- You excited, baby?
- Very.
284
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:22,428
Why don't you two grab
some drinks from the bar?
285
00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:25,231
Oh, tell Divina
to give you the good vodka.
286
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:27,100
You deserve it.
287
00:11:27,102 --> 00:11:28,668
Okay.
288
00:11:38,892 --> 00:11:40,980
Excuse me.
I have--
289
00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,122
Excuse me.
I'm a police officer.
290
00:11:43,242 --> 00:11:44,627
And I have cause--what?
291
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,586
And I have cause to believe
that you may have contracted
292
00:11:47,588 --> 00:11:48,621
the zombie virus.
293
00:11:48,623 --> 00:11:50,289
- John-John, shh!
- Huh.
294
00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:52,925
I'm trying to memorize it.
295
00:11:57,798 --> 00:12:00,433
[Squishing, crunching]
296
00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:05,604
Excuse me.
297
00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:07,807
I am a police officer.
298
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,508
And I have cause to believe
that you may have--
299
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:10,977
Come on, are you serious?
300
00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,111
Hey, you're not the one
301
00:12:12,113 --> 00:12:14,146
who almost got indicted
for murder, okay?
302
00:12:14,148 --> 00:12:15,348
Work with me.
303
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:17,650
If you can understand me,
please indicate--
304
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:20,453
[gunshots]
Oh, [bleep]!
305
00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:23,322
[Zombie snarling]
306
00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:29,195
Whoa!
307
00:12:33,066 --> 00:12:36,869
John-John! Go!
308
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:43,175
- Oh, she got my clips!
- What?
309
00:12:43,177 --> 00:12:44,977
My clips!
310
00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:47,079
[Zombies snarling]
311
00:12:47,081 --> 00:12:49,382
Here shut the door!
Shut the door!
312
00:12:49,384 --> 00:12:50,716
[Zombies snarling]
313
00:12:50,718 --> 00:12:53,519
- Aah!
- Hold it, hold it!
314
00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:55,221
I got to get to my gun.
315
00:12:55,223 --> 00:12:58,557
- I got to get a clip.
- Yeah.
316
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:00,292
I think they left.
317
00:13:03,163 --> 00:13:05,731
- Run?
- Uh-huh.
318
00:13:08,869 --> 00:13:11,837
Clip!
319
00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:14,306
Bust they ass!
Bust they ass!
320
00:13:14,308 --> 00:13:16,575
[Gunshots]
321
00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:19,311
Go, go, go!
322
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:20,980
[Gunshot]
323
00:13:20,982 --> 00:13:23,816
[Zombie snarling]
Come on!
324
00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:25,151
I got to get my weapon on.
325
00:13:25,153 --> 00:13:28,788
Oh, don't ever talk
like that again.
326
00:13:28,790 --> 00:13:32,224
So, big night, huh?
327
00:13:32,226 --> 00:13:34,927
Yeah, can you believe Rico
threw this whole party for me?
328
00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,629
Have you thought
about it much--
329
00:13:36,631 --> 00:13:38,531
- becoming a vampire?
- Oh, yeah.
330
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,866
I think it's gonna be
the best thing I've ever done.
331
00:13:40,868 --> 00:13:43,202
But what if it's not?
332
00:13:43,204 --> 00:13:45,404
I mean, there's
no going back, you know?
333
00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:47,273
Why would I want to go back?
334
00:13:47,275 --> 00:13:48,841
I'm not an idiot, okay?
335
00:13:48,843 --> 00:13:51,544
I wrote out a whole
pro-and-con list last week--
336
00:13:51,546 --> 00:13:54,580
immortality,
controlling zombies,
337
00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:56,348
Rico.
338
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,784
Yeah, I mean,
Rico's cute, but--
339
00:13:58,786 --> 00:14:00,486
Wait, controlling zombies?
340
00:14:00,488 --> 00:14:02,988
Rico says they do it through
some kind of mind control.
341
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:07,927
Plus, can you imagine
what the sex is like?
342
00:14:07,929 --> 00:14:11,230
No, um, not really.
343
00:14:11,232 --> 00:14:14,233
[Engine revving]
344
00:14:14,235 --> 00:14:16,001
[Sighs]
345
00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:17,837
- Let's just--
- Let's take care of this.
346
00:14:17,839 --> 00:14:20,272
Yeah.
347
00:14:20,274 --> 00:14:24,276
Ugh.
348
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:25,878
- Ugh.
- Oh, yeah.
349
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,179
- Yep.
- That's it.
350
00:14:27,181 --> 00:14:28,981
- Ugh.
- All right, let's go.
351
00:14:28,983 --> 00:14:30,116
Uh-huh.
352
00:14:30,118 --> 00:14:32,318
Hey, you know,
a little help would be nice.
353
00:14:34,888 --> 00:14:36,322
Jesus.
Ready?
354
00:14:36,324 --> 00:14:38,924
- One, two...
- [Grunting]
355
00:14:38,926 --> 00:14:39,925
Three!
356
00:14:39,927 --> 00:14:41,026
[Splatter]
357
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:42,428
- Aah!
- Oh-ho-ho!
358
00:14:42,430 --> 00:14:43,762
- Oh-ho!
- Oh!
359
00:14:43,764 --> 00:14:45,164
- Oh, Stu!
- Stop laughing!
360
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:48,767
Oh, you look disgusting, man!
361
00:14:48,769 --> 00:14:51,937
I love it.
362
00:14:51,939 --> 00:14:54,640
[Chain saw whirring]
363
00:14:57,744 --> 00:15:01,847
[Power tools whirring]
364
00:15:16,663 --> 00:15:17,796
Yeah.
365
00:15:17,798 --> 00:15:19,798
Let's go.
366
00:15:22,369 --> 00:15:24,136
Ugh!
367
00:15:24,138 --> 00:15:28,474
Wow, I see you didn't use that
waxing coupon I gave you, huh?
368
00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:31,711
[Laughs]
369
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:34,080
FYI, do not go out
on a full moon.
370
00:15:34,082 --> 00:15:35,581
- You will get locked up.
- [Chuckles]
371
00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:37,116
Quiet down back there,
372
00:15:37,118 --> 00:15:40,419
nobody makes fun
of my partner but me.
373
00:15:40,421 --> 00:15:43,756
[Chuckles]
Nice wife-be--
374
00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:46,092
Nice white, ribbed
men's tank top.
375
00:15:46,094 --> 00:15:48,995
Hey, how are people gonna know
we're cops, anyway?
376
00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:50,897
Hopefully, they won't.
377
00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:56,903
I don't care
how much trouble I get into.
378
00:15:56,905 --> 00:16:00,840
I ain't doing that protocol
bull[bleep] no more, ever.
379
00:16:00,842 --> 00:16:02,408
Oh, thank God you're here.
380
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,910
- You've been bit.
- Oh, really?
381
00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:06,779
I was wondering why the inside
of my neck was on the outside.
382
00:16:06,781 --> 00:16:08,881
Look, I need you to kill me.
383
00:16:08,883 --> 00:16:10,383
I tried to do it myself,
but I can't.
384
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:11,384
[Softly]
I'm catholic.
385
00:16:11,386 --> 00:16:12,818
So you've got to do it,
386
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:14,654
because God knows I'm not
gonna spend my last few minutes
387
00:16:14,656 --> 00:16:16,055
on this earth as a zombie!
388
00:16:16,057 --> 00:16:18,424
Okay, come on, kill me.
389
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:22,828
Kill me.
390
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:25,898
I am your commanding officer,
and that is an order!
391
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:28,000
You put me down this instant!
392
00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:29,835
You calm down. Okay, I get it.
[Ribbings groaning]
393
00:16:29,837 --> 00:16:32,171
And I will put you down.
394
00:16:32,173 --> 00:16:35,274
But first,
there's a certain protocol
395
00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:37,944
that I must follow
when coming across a, um...
396
00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:40,246
Damn, what do you call
that again, Carla?
397
00:16:40,248 --> 00:16:42,581
- A pus, John-John...
- Mm.
398
00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,417
- Possible undead suspect.
- Right.
399
00:16:44,419 --> 00:16:46,085
[Groaning]
Oh, my God!
400
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:48,087
Oh, my God!
401
00:16:48,089 --> 00:16:50,957
Excuse me.
I'm a police officer,
402
00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:52,858
and I have cause to believe
you may have contracted
403
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:54,160
the zombie virus.
404
00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:55,928
Kill me, you jackass!
405
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,663
Well, what do you think,
John-John?
406
00:16:57,665 --> 00:16:59,098
I don't know.
407
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:01,834
It says here that we must wait
60 seconds for confirmation.
408
00:17:01,836 --> 00:17:03,169
I'm a pus!
409
00:17:03,171 --> 00:17:05,137
Kill me!
410
00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:16,916
[Loud crunch]
411
00:17:24,992 --> 00:17:27,426
Come here, Claire.
412
00:17:45,879 --> 00:17:48,614
- [Hissing]
- [Hissing]
413
00:17:48,616 --> 00:17:51,751
[Moaning]
414
00:18:00,293 --> 00:18:01,694
[Moans loudly]
415
00:18:01,696 --> 00:18:04,030
Slut.
416
00:18:04,032 --> 00:18:05,531
I know, right?
417
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:08,100
Actually,
I've totally fantasized
418
00:18:08,102 --> 00:18:11,303
about being gang-fanged.
419
00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:16,876
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
420
00:18:40,901 --> 00:18:42,368
[Thunder booms]
421
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:44,203
[Grunting]
422
00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:47,606
[Indistinct whispering]
423
00:18:58,452 --> 00:19:00,252
Jesus.
424
00:19:15,669 --> 00:19:18,604
[Applause]
425
00:19:22,809 --> 00:19:26,745
That was...insane.
426
00:19:26,747 --> 00:19:28,647
I know! Aren't you
so psyched that you came?
427
00:19:28,649 --> 00:19:32,017
Come on, let's go see Claire.
428
00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:36,689
I've got my eye on you.
429
00:19:36,691 --> 00:19:39,158
I know your secret.
430
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,193
- You do?
- Why?
431
00:19:41,195 --> 00:19:42,728
You think
you're fooling anybody?
432
00:19:42,730 --> 00:19:44,663
On the outside,
you act all sweet,
433
00:19:44,665 --> 00:19:46,232
innocent,
434
00:19:46,234 --> 00:19:48,067
but deep down inside,
there's a bad girl
435
00:19:48,069 --> 00:19:50,402
just wanting to come out.
436
00:19:50,404 --> 00:19:52,338
Huh.
437
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:54,540
I guess you do know my secret.
438
00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:57,343
It's not
a secret anymore, Amber.
439
00:19:57,345 --> 00:19:58,577
Mindfreak.
440
00:19:58,579 --> 00:20:00,246
Yeah.
441
00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:06,752
You can be next.
442
00:20:06,754 --> 00:20:09,488
I'm serious.
443
00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:19,676
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
444
00:20:22,536 --> 00:20:24,987
Looks like we have ourselves
a werewolf to apprehend.
445
00:20:25,107 --> 00:20:26,105
[Growling]
446
00:20:26,107 --> 00:20:27,973
It's the same vamp
that jumped me outside the bar.
447
00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:29,575
- Let's do this.
- Let's kick some vamp ass!
448
00:20:29,577 --> 00:20:31,076
Freeze!
449
00:20:31,078 --> 00:20:33,279
She'll get her.
[Gunshot]
450
00:20:33,281 --> 00:20:35,347
- She stinks!
- Yeah, she's a zombie.
451
00:20:35,349 --> 00:20:36,482
Whoa. Hey.
452
00:20:36,484 --> 00:20:37,783
You think those two are--
453
00:20:37,785 --> 00:20:39,785
I don't want to think
about it.
454
00:20:39,787 --> 00:20:41,220
Jesus! Pull over!
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