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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,640 9Sync and correction by Mlmlte 9www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:05,019 - Whoa. - Don't lose her! 3 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:06,960 [Bleep]! 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,530 - Get down! - Down! Down! 5 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,200 [Cans and bottles rattling] 6 00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,269 [Door thuds] 7 00:00:22,270 --> 00:00:24,110 [Dog barking] 8 00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:33,319 Both: Freeze! 9 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,849 [Shrieking] 10 00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:37,590 [Car alarm wailing] 11 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:44,429 Hey, you see they had Choco Tacos back there? 12 00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:46,199 Hell, yeah. You want to get some? 13 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,199 Yeah. 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,130 Anybody want a Choco Taco? 15 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:51,739 Not this guy. 16 00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:53,500 Anybody else want a Choco Taco? 17 00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:56,269 It's like a taco with ice cream. 18 00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:57,570 It's good. 19 00:00:57,580 --> 00:00:59,079 One year ago... 20 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,079 Vampire, werewolves, and zombies... 21 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,249 Descended upon California's San Fernando Valley. 22 00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:09,089 Authorities remain baffled by their origins. 23 00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:11,759 ♪ Love is nasty 'cause it gets so rotten♪ 24 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,429 ♪ I think it's time to put this body in the ground♪ 25 00:01:14,430 --> 00:01:18,829 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh♪ 26 00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:20,100 ♪ We're losing all control♪ 27 00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:22,429 ♪ The buildings all turn to dust♪ 28 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,100 ♪ And I think it's getting closer♪ 29 00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:26,669 ♪ 'Cause they're coming for us♪ 30 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,169 Anybody know what tonight is? 31 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:31,939 Do not tell me it is the season finale of Glee. 32 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:33,979 I [Bleep] Hate that show. 33 00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:35,179 Yes, Carla? 34 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,609 One-year anniversary 35 00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:38,819 of the first zombie sighting, Captain. 36 00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:40,220 That's exactly right, Carla. 37 00:01:40,221 --> 00:01:41,650 Here, you got a little captain ass on your nose. 38 00:01:41,651 --> 00:01:43,119 One year ago today, 39 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,060 zombies began besmirching our fine community. 40 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,220 [Mic boom bangs wall] Sorry. Sorry, sir. 41 00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:48,759 Sorry. I'm sorry. 42 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,829 That's right, I said "besmirching," 43 00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:53,729 and with the zombies came vampires and werewolves 44 00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:57,769 and my personal promise that I would not rest 45 00:01:57,770 --> 00:02:01,609 until we had eradicated this problem completely. 46 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:02,910 Uh, captain, I thought you said 47 00:02:02,911 --> 00:02:05,009 we're supposed to contain the problem. 48 00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:06,080 You tell me. Are you satisfied 49 00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:07,579 containing the problem? 50 00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:08,909 'Cause if you are, 51 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,410 the door is right there. 52 00:02:10,420 --> 00:02:12,120 It says "contain" right there over your head. 53 00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:16,150 Can I move on, please? 54 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,419 Thank you. Where's your partner? 55 00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,059 Uh, he's in the, uh, can, sir. 56 00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,660 He had himself a couple Choco tacos. 57 00:02:21,661 --> 00:02:23,260 I always tell him he's lactose intolerant, 58 00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,100 but he doesn't listen to me-- Fascinating story, Stubeck. 59 00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:28,029 Okay, you tell officer Pierce we are on high alert tonight. 60 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:29,830 Do you understand me? We're picking up chatter, 61 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,440 and the vamps are definitely up to something, 62 00:02:31,441 --> 00:02:33,070 and I, for one, am taking no chances. 63 00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,769 So let's be vigilant. 64 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:36,369 Let's stick together. 65 00:02:36,370 --> 00:02:38,740 And let's make sure these nice people from channel five 66 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:41,949 get home in one piece with their story, all right? 67 00:02:41,950 --> 00:02:43,280 Thank you. Thank you, captain. 68 00:02:43,281 --> 00:02:44,679 My name's Rodney. 69 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,050 I've got some tips that'll help you sound better on tv. 70 00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,520 Yeah, well, I got a tip for you, too, Rodney. 71 00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:49,820 All right, a little more than a tip. 72 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:50,990 You know what I mean? 73 00:02:50,991 --> 00:02:52,790 I can show a man what it is to be a woman. 74 00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:54,189 Final piece of business. 75 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:56,329 We got a new addition to our unit. 76 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:59,099 Officer Landry. Kristen, stand up, would you? 77 00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:00,599 Hey, everyone. 78 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,169 Now, she is a rookie, 79 00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:05,899 but I'm sure she's no stranger to zombies. 80 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,240 Actually, I've never seen one 81 00:03:07,241 --> 00:03:08,609 in person. 82 00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:09,640 That's all right. 83 00:03:09,641 --> 00:03:11,580 Take you about two hours around here 84 00:03:11,581 --> 00:03:13,479 to pop your cherry, huh? 85 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,949 Speaking metaphorically, of course. 86 00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:18,079 I don't mean to suggest that you are a virgin. 87 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,280 Then again, I don't mean to suggest 88 00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:21,919 that you are not a virgin. 89 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,249 Any more questions? 90 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,989 Great. Let's get out there and kill something. 91 00:03:25,990 --> 00:03:27,259 Yeah! 92 00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:31,030 [Rock music] 93 00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:36,530 Because that's where they live, man. 94 00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:38,199 [Bleep], I live in the valley. 95 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,269 Now, you want to buy me a crib up in Malibu 96 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:41,940 overlooking the ocean with a barbecue pit, 97 00:03:41,941 --> 00:03:44,340 then you go right ahead-- I sure as hell won't stop you. 98 00:03:44,341 --> 00:03:46,940 Yeah, you know, you could fit in there. 99 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:49,009 Yeah. Yeah, I can picture that. 100 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,579 You know, yeah, you living in a beach house, 101 00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:55,049 drinking margaritas with Mel Gibson. 102 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:58,189 No, no, no, not Mel Gibson. 103 00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,889 [Both laughing] 104 00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:02,589 [Siren wailing] 105 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:06,260 [Rock music] 106 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:11,769 We're staking out this motel for vampire prostitution. 107 00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:14,639 Blood for sex is a big problem in the valley. 108 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,139 Lot of desperate guys, no cash, 109 00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:19,340 willing to do whatever it takes to get a little action. 110 00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,479 That's right. 111 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:21,910 Take those off. It's nighttime. 112 00:04:21,911 --> 00:04:23,349 [Scoffs] Whatever, dude. 113 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,519 Come on. 114 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,149 [Sighs] 115 00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:29,089 Uh, what was I saying? 116 00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:31,919 [Imitating Stubeck] Zombies, vampires. 117 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,920 - I don't talk like that. - Whatever. 118 00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:36,389 I don't. 119 00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:38,829 [Dramatically] Zombies... 120 00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:40,299 Vampires. 121 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,230 I know a lot of guys who'd cut bait and run, 122 00:04:42,231 --> 00:04:43,399 but not me. 123 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,600 Want to know why? 124 00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:50,970 Damn right. 125 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:53,179 I risk it all for them. I'm proud to. 126 00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:56,549 You want to know why I do it? 127 00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:58,249 I do it for them. Nice. 128 00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:00,649 Let me see that. I said I do this for my family! 129 00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:03,189 I've had this jpeg so long, it's like my family. 130 00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:05,160 Technically, I guess that makes it incest. 131 00:05:05,161 --> 00:05:07,060 La-la-la-la... Stop it. Come on, grow up! 132 00:05:07,061 --> 00:05:08,159 Stop it! 133 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,429 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Here we go. 134 00:05:10,430 --> 00:05:11,600 A fish has taken the bait. 135 00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:13,299 What fish? 136 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:15,270 A fish is ta-- Jesus [Bleep], Billy. 137 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:16,900 A man is going in with a prostitute. 138 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,240 - Oh! - Come on, let's go. 139 00:05:18,241 --> 00:05:19,970 Well, let's go. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! 140 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,740 - What are you doing? - I'm gonna take some pictures. 141 00:05:21,741 --> 00:05:23,410 - No, stop it! Put that away. - Come on. 142 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,170 Don't. All right, let me get my gun. 143 00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:25,960 Give me a good one. 144 00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:28,809 A little pissed. Yeah, yeah, right there. 145 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,050 [Camera shutter clicks] 146 00:05:30,051 --> 00:05:31,250 Got it. 147 00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:34,960 All right, everybody, hands in the air. 148 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:38,679 Wow, your hands are really cold. 149 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,620 All right, everybody, hands in the air! 150 00:05:40,621 --> 00:05:42,889 That means you, vampire [Bleep]. 151 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,859 Seriously? Vampire [Bleep]? Be a professional. 152 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:47,220 I wasn't doing anything. 153 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:49,389 Sofia, how many times are we gonna do this? 154 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,530 Come on, Stubeck, just leave a working girl alone. 155 00:05:51,531 --> 00:05:52,630 You weren't working. 156 00:05:52,631 --> 00:05:54,430 You were humping this guy for blood. 157 00:05:54,431 --> 00:05:55,630 - No. - Am I right? 158 00:05:55,631 --> 00:05:58,030 What are you doing? Stop talking to them. 159 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,339 [Speaking Spanish] 160 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:00,939 I'm sorry. I don't speak vampire! 161 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,739 It's Spanish, you idiot. Relax. 162 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,270 Come on, Sofia, you know the drill. 163 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,579 Hands behind your back. 164 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:06,680 This isn't what it looks like. 165 00:06:06,681 --> 00:06:08,680 I thought she was just a human prostitute. 166 00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:09,910 [Mockingly] "This isn't what it looks like. 167 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,080 I thought she was a human prostitute." 168 00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:12,250 What are we, in a cow pasture? 169 00:06:12,251 --> 00:06:13,180 'Cause I smell bull[Bleep]. 170 00:06:13,181 --> 00:06:14,220 Go check the back. 171 00:06:14,221 --> 00:06:16,619 I'm gonna go check the back. 172 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:17,720 I just told you to do that. 173 00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:18,920 You're following an order right now. 174 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,220 Hey, if I don't get to have sex, 175 00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:21,560 then can I get my blood back? 176 00:06:21,561 --> 00:06:22,830 'Cause I'm feeling, like, kind of faint. 177 00:06:22,831 --> 00:06:23,960 Shut up. Don't kick. 178 00:06:23,961 --> 00:06:28,729 Smells like a cat's balls in here. 179 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:29,829 Aah! 180 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,600 Oh. 181 00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:35,909 Oh, my God! 182 00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:37,970 - Die, pig! - Kill him! 183 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,539 Aah! 184 00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:40,740 - Oh, my God! - Kill him! 185 00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:41,950 - [Grunting] - Oh, my God! My God! 186 00:06:41,951 --> 00:06:44,279 Kill him! 187 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,019 - Oh, my God! - [Laughing] 188 00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:47,780 Oh, my God! 189 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,749 No! I'll give you all the blood you want! 190 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:53,519 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 191 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:54,590 Sit down and shut up! 192 00:06:54,591 --> 00:06:55,659 Whoa! 193 00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:56,960 Oh, my God, he's so strong! 194 00:06:56,961 --> 00:06:58,759 Oh, my God! 195 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,259 Oh, my God! No! 196 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,929 [Sofia laughing] 197 00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:04,740 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 198 00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,639 [Man crying] St... 199 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,339 Dude, this is, like, a $500 boom! 200 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,669 Come on! 201 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:10,969 Ohh! Kill him! 202 00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:14,409 Unh! 203 00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:16,509 - Aah! - Oh, my God! 204 00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:17,980 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, 205 00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:19,650 oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 206 00:07:19,651 --> 00:07:21,020 - Shut up! - Oh, my-- 207 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:27,119 - you know what they say about boom poles, don't you? 208 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,659 You never hear them coming. 209 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,590 [Groaning] 210 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,330 That was actually a pretty good one. 211 00:07:33,331 --> 00:07:34,899 Effin' "a." 212 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,899 And then you ruin it. 213 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,530 [Snarls] 214 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,969 [Rock music] 215 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:45,409 ♪♪ 216 00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:47,909 [Copier beeping] 217 00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:51,049 How you handling everything we threw at you so far? 218 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:54,919 Well, I've been sitting at my desk for four hours. 219 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,089 I know that. 220 00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:57,919 I've been watching you. 221 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,919 Not continually, of course. 222 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,920 I've been catching up on some paperwork. 223 00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,059 That's actually a small fraction of what I do. 224 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,829 I'm out on the beat quite a bit, as it were. 225 00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,500 I would love to be out on the beat. 226 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:11,299 In time, kristen, in time. 227 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:14,169 It--it's actually, um... It's pronounced "Kirsten." 228 00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:16,569 What'd I say? 229 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,009 Kristen. 230 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:19,309 Say it your way. 231 00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:20,309 Kirsten. 232 00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,650 Okay, I'm gonna be honest. 233 00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,610 I'm gonna have a little trouble with that. 234 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:26,379 But anyway... "Girsten," 235 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,820 let me explain something to you. 236 00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:30,389 The valley of Los Angeles is a long way away from Kansas. 237 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:31,390 I'm not from Kansas. 238 00:08:31,391 --> 00:08:33,019 I'm from carefree, Arizona. 239 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:34,020 Carefree, Arizona, 240 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,159 where we are carefree. [Laughs] 241 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,360 What'd you do in carefree? 242 00:08:37,361 --> 00:08:38,630 You don't look like a golfer. 243 00:08:38,631 --> 00:08:40,559 Actually, I'm a 14 handicap. 244 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:41,800 Means nothing to a zombie. 245 00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:43,899 You gonna kill a zombie with a golf club? 246 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,799 Well, yeah. You want to...Unh! 247 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,599 Destroy the brain, right? 248 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,139 That's exactly right. 249 00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:51,380 Shoot 'em through the eyes, run 'em over with a truck, 250 00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:52,909 crush his head in with a crowbar. 251 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:56,379 How's a crowbar different than a golf club? 252 00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:59,619 You ever try to get out of the sand with a crowbar? 253 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,919 Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite prostitute. 254 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,789 I'm kidding. 255 00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:06,819 I don't have a favorite prostitute... 256 00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,190 Not in this country, anyway. 257 00:09:08,191 --> 00:09:10,759 Caught our friend here draining the red vein, captain. 258 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,930 Billy almost got his brains bashed in by her pimp, 259 00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:14,730 but we managed to impale the assailant 260 00:09:14,731 --> 00:09:16,230 with a boom pole through the chest. 261 00:09:16,231 --> 00:09:17,670 - Kabob'd the bastard, huh? - That's right. 262 00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:18,970 - Where's Billy now? - In the can, sir. 263 00:09:18,971 --> 00:09:20,440 - Choco taco? - And a slurpee. 264 00:09:20,441 --> 00:09:22,069 That's gonna hurt coming out. 265 00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:23,710 Your partner killed the wrong vampire. 266 00:09:23,711 --> 00:09:26,809 Well, I guess we'll have to live with that, then, won't we? 267 00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:29,549 - Yeah, we'll see about that. - Ooh! Scary! 268 00:09:29,550 --> 00:09:30,979 You enjoy lockup, Sofia. 269 00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,979 I'm going home to my nice, warm bed... 270 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:35,319 Which I use for sleeping, not sex. 271 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,889 You want to know why? 272 00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:39,520 I'm a happily married man. 273 00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:45,259 Billy, let's blow this joint! 274 00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:46,330 [Pounds on door] 275 00:09:46,331 --> 00:09:47,599 Billy! 276 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,969 Oh! 277 00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:51,399 Billy? 278 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:55,300 [Ominous music] 279 00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:57,810 [Bleep]! 280 00:10:00,910 --> 00:10:03,080 Billy! 281 00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,949 Sofia's not talking, but whoever snatched Billy 282 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,420 sent me this video on his phone. 283 00:10:18,421 --> 00:10:19,650 It's giving me the creeps. 284 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,219 Check it out. 285 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,720 [Radio playing pop song in background] 286 00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:24,859 Well, that's the naked chicks. 287 00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:26,489 Hang on. 288 00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:28,599 "Celebrity nip slips." 289 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,060 Hang on. 290 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,200 Go right down-- 291 00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:32,929 - [snarling] - Aah! Unh! 292 00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:34,969 Man, Billy's got a lot of porn on this thing. 293 00:10:34,970 --> 00:10:36,040 "Inactive glands." 294 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,909 Aah! 295 00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:39,209 All right, here we go. 296 00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:40,610 [Spanish accent] Greetings, pig. 297 00:10:40,611 --> 00:10:42,779 If you are watching this video... 298 00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:44,110 Are you sure that's Billy? 299 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:47,349 No, but I can't say it's not him, right? 300 00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:48,479 [Muffled] Hey! 301 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,449 [Inaudible] 302 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,889 Here's the part where they tell me 303 00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:54,590 to go to Griffith park with the body... 304 00:10:54,591 --> 00:10:56,589 - [Growling] - Aah! 305 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,889 Unarmed and alone. 306 00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,660 Well, I guess that's what we got to do, then. 307 00:10:59,661 --> 00:11:00,859 Seriously? 308 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,859 Unh! 309 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,100 Did they say what they'd do 310 00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:04,600 if you went in there with backup? 311 00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:05,770 Yeah, they'll kill Billy. 312 00:11:05,771 --> 00:11:07,799 Well, there you go, then. 313 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,100 They always say that. They have to say that. 314 00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,910 Well, it doesn't mean they won't do it. 315 00:11:11,911 --> 00:11:13,370 I'm not going without backup. 316 00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:14,709 Don't be such a girl. 317 00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:17,309 - [Growling] - Unh! 318 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,949 Fine, I'll think about it. 319 00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:22,019 [Taps glass] 320 00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,849 How's she working out? 321 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,049 Eh, you know, 322 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,950 I'm not that impressed. Yeah. 323 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,959 [Rock music] 324 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:34,729 ♪♪ 325 00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:35,759 - Yo. - Hmm? 326 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,929 Guess what I rented last night. 327 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,330 - Hmm? - Big fat Greek wedding. 328 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,669 What'd you think? 329 00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:41,999 Eh, not for me. 330 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,910 [Over radio] Unit 23, unit 23, do you copy? 331 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,839 Officer Rinaldi here. Copy. 332 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,640 We have a report of a 1-11 in progress 333 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,379 at Wiggly's donuts, 1327 Chatsworth. 334 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:52,949 Please report. Over. 335 00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:56,720 Affirmative. Officer Johnson and I are en route. Over. 336 00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,919 Slow-Walker zombie. 337 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,659 The fresh ones, they move pretty well, 338 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,330 but when they've been undead too long, 339 00:12:04,331 --> 00:12:05,659 we call that a 1-11. 340 00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:07,290 Uh-huh, at Wiggly's donuts. 341 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:08,660 Now, that's what I'm talking about. 342 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,760 You know, I can go for a bear claw right now. 343 00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:13,299 - [Laughs] Right. - Hit those lights, baby. 344 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,499 [Siren wailing] 345 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:19,309 [Rock music] 346 00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:22,379 ♪♪ 347 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:25,349 Yeah, yeah. [Laughs] 348 00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:27,449 [Muzak playing] Sure. Yeah. 349 00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:28,979 Cool. 350 00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:30,480 What the hell are you doing? 351 00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:31,720 What you mean, what the hell I'm doing? 352 00:12:31,721 --> 00:12:32,990 I'm getting a dozen. 353 00:12:32,991 --> 00:12:34,989 You can't wait? 354 00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:39,189 Um, I don't think he's going anywhere. 355 00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:40,630 You know, you're not helping the cop stereotype 356 00:12:40,631 --> 00:12:42,629 with this doughnut crap. 357 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:43,830 [Scoffs] Who cares? 358 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,899 It's the only stereotype worth living up to. 359 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,139 Hey, check it out, John-John. 360 00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,209 Big man's still got a doughnut in his mouth. 361 00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:54,539 That's not a doughnut. That's a hand. 362 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,740 What? A hand? [Objects clattering] 363 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,209 Oh, I'm sorry. 364 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,379 My bad. 365 00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:00,380 I didn't see it. 366 00:13:00,381 --> 00:13:01,380 Aah! Jesus! 367 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:04,749 [Snarling] 368 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,389 Jesus, John-John! 369 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:08,319 What? 370 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,089 You want to check the back? 371 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,130 Sound's still speeding. 372 00:13:11,131 --> 00:13:12,959 Shut the [Bleep] Up. Be still. 373 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,300 No, I don't want to check the back! 374 00:13:14,301 --> 00:13:16,929 I want to get a bear claw! Check the back. 375 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,399 [Bleep] Damn! 376 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,599 Oh-ho-ho. 377 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,699 Oh, we're pulling our gun out now. I see. 378 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,370 You see how dark it is back there? 379 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,940 It's like the [Bleep]Damn black hole. 380 00:13:25,941 --> 00:13:27,309 Check the back. 381 00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:29,939 [Door thuds] Mother[Bleep]! 382 00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:31,949 [Ominous music] 383 00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:34,649 ♪♪ 384 00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:36,780 - Oh, [Bleep]! - What happened? 385 00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:39,619 [Panting] 386 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:41,790 Nothing. It's just--it's nothing. 387 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,959 [Rock music] 388 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:55,900 ♪♪ 389 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,479 Anybody here? 390 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,479 Hello! 391 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,749 Callate. 392 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,319 You surprised me. 393 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,949 I didn't hear you coming. 394 00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,589 Be still. 395 00:14:14,590 --> 00:14:16,790 Yeah, completely still. 396 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,299 Where's Mateo? 397 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,799 I'm sorry. I'm--I'm lost. 398 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,600 Are we here to exchange the same-- 399 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,969 - where's the body? [Vampires snarling] 400 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,109 You don't get Billy 401 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:35,839 until we get the body. 402 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,409 All right. Yeah, you could have just asked me. 403 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,149 - I did ask you. - Yeah, kind of, 404 00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:42,679 but I don't understand what you're saying, so... 405 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,080 The body! 406 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:46,619 Yeah, absolutely, the body. 407 00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,619 Hang on. 408 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,520 Where's Billy? 409 00:14:50,530 --> 00:14:52,859 You'll see Billy. 410 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:57,360 First I want to see Mateo. 411 00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:59,469 Which is... 412 00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:00,500 - The body. - The body. 413 00:15:00,501 --> 00:15:02,499 Got it. We're on the same page. 414 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,870 Great. I'll get him. 415 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,849 Uh, do you guys want to help me out with this? 416 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,920 I have a lower-back thing. It flares up sometimes. 417 00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,919 Okay. Got it. 418 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,960 There we go. We got it. Great. 419 00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:29,329 On your knees. 420 00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:30,800 Hands to your head! 421 00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:37,179 [Rock music] 422 00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:42,349 ♪♪ 423 00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:45,219 Hands to your head! 424 00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:46,590 [Zipper opens] 425 00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:49,730 Okay, where's Billy? 426 00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,460 You stay still. 427 00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:59,229 Revisalo. 428 00:15:59,230 --> 00:16:00,370 [Zipper opens] 429 00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:20,590 [Whistles] 430 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,389 [Groaning] 431 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:27,529 What'd you do to him, you son of a bitch? 432 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:30,399 He killed my brother, Cochino! 433 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,970 Corta la cuerda. 434 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,500 No. 435 00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:38,569 No. 436 00:16:38,570 --> 00:16:41,510 Cambie mi mente. 437 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,379 Matalo! 438 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:49,680 Stay back! 439 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,889 Stay back! 440 00:16:52,890 --> 00:16:54,090 [Remote chirps] 441 00:16:54,091 --> 00:16:55,259 Aah! 442 00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,689 [Vampires groaning] 443 00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:59,360 Come on, buddy, let's get out of here! 444 00:16:59,361 --> 00:17:00,530 Lean back, lean back! 445 00:17:00,531 --> 00:17:01,760 All right, hop! 446 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,030 Hop, hop, hop! Hop! 447 00:17:03,031 --> 00:17:04,729 [Gunshot] 448 00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:07,269 Dive! Dive! Feet up! 449 00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:09,539 [Gunshots] 450 00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:12,369 Jesus, dude, you let one rip in here 451 00:17:12,370 --> 00:17:13,640 before you got out? 452 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,139 Dead vampire, Billy. 453 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,179 Dead vampire. 454 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:18,150 [Snarls] 455 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,820 [Crying] 456 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,830 [Growling] 457 00:17:33,230 --> 00:17:34,399 Mother[Bleep]. 458 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,230 [Zombie screaming] 459 00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:45,070 Aah! 460 00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:47,809 [Hissing] 461 00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:50,279 Jesus! 462 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,849 [Grunting] 463 00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:53,980 [John-John shouts] 464 00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:58,549 [Boom mic guy screaming] 465 00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:02,259 [Bleep]! 466 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:05,359 [Screaming and sobbing] 467 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,059 Oh, God! 468 00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:08,159 Ohh! 469 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,629 - Whoa! Whoa! Shut up! - Aah! 470 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,170 - Shut the [Bleep] Up! - Calm down, man. 471 00:18:12,171 --> 00:18:13,939 - All right! - [Bleep] Damn! 472 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,039 All right! 473 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,270 Acting like a [Bleep]. 474 00:18:16,271 --> 00:18:17,709 Calm down. 475 00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,309 [Bleep], get some balls. 476 00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:20,979 Whoo. 477 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:22,809 [Laughing] [Mockingly] Ha ha! 478 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:26,479 I mean, this [Bleep] Night. 479 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,619 Aah! 480 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:32,349 Aah! Aah! 481 00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:34,819 [Gunshot] 482 00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:38,359 [Exhales deeply] 483 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,329 Oh, check this [Bleep]. 484 00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,999 What are you guys looking at? 485 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,769 You got bit, man. 486 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:47,039 It means you're done. 487 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,839 Real done. 488 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,139 [Laughs nervously] 489 00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:52,009 What are you guys talking about? 490 00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:53,509 I'm your sound guy! 491 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:56,609 It's the valley, man. 492 00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:59,249 There's lots of sound guys. 493 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:00,880 [Loud smack] 494 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,889 We deal with this all the time. 495 00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,389 Good evening, officer. 496 00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:13,100 Sir, I'm gonna need you to turn the truck off. 497 00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,259 [Sighs] Okay. 498 00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:16,260 Turn into a werewolf tonight? 499 00:19:16,270 --> 00:19:19,269 I, um-- I know how this looks. 500 00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:22,069 I was at the library, and I--[Grunts] 501 00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:23,270 You're clearly a werewolf right now. 502 00:19:23,271 --> 00:19:24,639 You're halfway there. 503 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,280 You're shirt's ripped up. You got a hairy belly. 504 00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:27,480 I was waiting for a computer. 505 00:19:27,481 --> 00:19:29,009 I couldn't get online. 506 00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:30,280 Well, you know the deal. It's a full moon. 507 00:19:30,281 --> 00:19:31,550 You gotta lock yourself in, all right? 508 00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:32,550 So turn around. We're gonna turn 'em around 509 00:19:32,551 --> 00:19:33,680 and cuff 'em, okay? 510 00:19:33,681 --> 00:19:34,950 He'll sleep it off. It's fine. 511 00:19:34,951 --> 00:19:36,350 - Just turn around-- - Officer, did you see that guy? 512 00:19:36,351 --> 00:19:37,449 What? 513 00:19:37,450 --> 00:19:40,859 Hey, come on! Get him! 514 00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:44,129 My partner never knows when to get people. 515 00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:47,999 [Panting] [Wolf howls] 516 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,729 All right, you're free to go. 517 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,869 He's free to go. 518 00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:54,869 If they can run like that, we let them go. 519 00:19:54,870 --> 00:19:56,580 [Panting] Hoo! 520 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,750 9Sync and correction by Mlmlte 9www.addic7ed.com34619

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