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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,406 You're so pretty. 2 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,035 Stop. No, you are. 3 00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:20,290 No, stop. Seriously. 4 00:00:24,048 --> 00:00:27,638 Oh, I, um, I almost forgot, I got you something. 5 00:00:27,639 --> 00:00:28,640 You got me something? 6 00:00:28,641 --> 00:00:30,059 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 7 00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,063 Oh, I think you've done enough for me already. 8 00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:35,236 Well... actually... 9 00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,906 OK, wait. Tell me when. 10 00:00:36,907 --> 00:00:38,325 Well, I don't want to get your hopes up, 11 00:00:38,326 --> 00:00:40,121 'cause I‐it's, uh, it's actually not for you. 12 00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:40,957 Oh. 13 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,835 It's, uh... 14 00:00:42,836 --> 00:00:44,046 Check it out. 15 00:00:47,554 --> 00:00:50,182 There's this guy outside my, uh, uncle's diamond store... 16 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:50,810 Mm‐hmm. 17 00:00:50,811 --> 00:00:52,688 And he sells these on, like, one of those tables, 18 00:00:52,689 --> 00:00:57,781 and I thought that, uh, Ali would really like it, you know? 19 00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,409 I mean, they had a bunch of different kinds, 20 00:00:59,410 --> 00:01:03,043 but, you know, it's, uh, it's a fidget spinner. 21 00:01:04,713 --> 00:01:06,256 You know? 22 00:01:06,257 --> 00:01:08,888 I know. I know what a fidget spinner is. 23 00:01:10,892 --> 00:01:12,310 What's‐what's happening here now? 24 00:01:17,572 --> 00:01:20,201 Um... sorry, did I do something? I don't‐‐. 25 00:01:20,202 --> 00:01:21,842 Can you just put that away, please? 26 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,252 Why would you do that? 27 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,049 Like, why would you get s‐‐ what‐‐. 28 00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:29,470 Fuck. 29 00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:32,100 W‐I‐I thought‐‐ I thought it would be nice. 30 00:01:32,101 --> 00:01:34,062 You thought it'd be nice? 31 00:01:34,063 --> 00:01:35,272 What about this seems nice? 32 00:01:35,273 --> 00:01:38,697 We're fucking in the bed that my husband's gonna sleep in later on tonight, 33 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,703 so what‐what exactly seems nice about that? 34 00:01:41,704 --> 00:01:43,540 You think a toy's gonna make up for that? 35 00:01:43,541 --> 00:01:44,751 OK, all right. 36 00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:47,714 It... 37 00:01:50,303 --> 00:01:52,306 I just‐I‐I don't know, I didn't‐‐. 38 00:01:52,307 --> 00:01:53,935 OK, look, it's just this‐‐. 39 00:01:53,936 --> 00:01:56,149 It was just a little thing. Can we just forget about it? 40 00:01:57,527 --> 00:02:01,534 And why exactly are you thinking about my son? 41 00:02:01,535 --> 00:02:02,536 I wasn't thinking about‐‐ 42 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:05,124 I was thinking about you, and so I thought about him. 43 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,919 I didn't know you had this, like, 44 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,132 magic rule where you can't get someone a gift. 45 00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:13,600 No, we have broken every rule, magic or not, there is to break, OK, Ramy? 46 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,564 And a toy is not gonna make up for anything that we're doing. 47 00:02:16,565 --> 00:02:18,234 We're not fucking good people here. 48 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,157 I'm‐I'm not the one who's married, OK? 49 00:02:33,974 --> 00:02:36,521 Let me get this straight, man, OK? 50 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:38,482 So, her husband leaves, she drops off her kid, 51 00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:41,112 then you bang her by lunch, then she kicks you out? 52 00:02:41,113 --> 00:02:43,450 What part of that routine told you to buy a gift? 53 00:02:43,451 --> 00:02:45,162 I just thought it would be nice, man. 54 00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:46,791 I... her son's cool. 55 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,213 He's not your fucking kid! 56 00:02:49,714 --> 00:02:51,759 You're breaking up a marriage. 57 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,389 This is real. It's against all the rules. 58 00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:56,184 It's a huge fuckin' sin! 59 00:02:56,185 --> 00:02:57,521 Don't curse in front of your son. 60 00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:59,775 What, you want to raise my kid now, is that what you want? 61 00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:00,986 He doesn't understand what you're saying, 62 00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:03,115 and if he does, I hope he learns from your fuck‐ups. 63 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,996 You need to go feed the homeless, visit the sick, 64 00:03:05,997 --> 00:03:07,164 cleanse yourself. 65 00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:08,793 Take a fuckin' shower. 66 00:03:08,794 --> 00:03:11,800 - I‐I know. - Hey buddy, see your uncle here? 67 00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:14,013 See your Uncle Ramy? 68 00:03:14,388 --> 00:03:15,724 He's a homewrecker. 69 00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,184 He's a dirty homewrecker. 70 00:03:17,185 --> 00:03:19,147 - Stop, dude. - Can you say it with me? 71 00:03:19,148 --> 00:03:20,901 Homewrecker. 72 00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:22,906 That's right, buddy. Mwah! 73 00:03:25,828 --> 00:03:28,206 What's up, man? 74 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,335 'Sup, terrorist? 75 00:03:30,796 --> 00:03:32,173 How's it goin'? 76 00:03:32,174 --> 00:03:34,303 Oh, fine. 77 00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:39,270 What, uh... what are you playin', man? 78 00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:40,607 Goddamnit! 79 00:03:42,027 --> 00:03:43,739 So, uh, what'd you do this time? 80 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,619 What do you mean? 81 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:49,833 You only come here when you're feeling guilty. 82 00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:50,877 No. 83 00:03:50,878 --> 00:03:52,839 You must have really fucked up this time. 84 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,052 Yeah, I'm here to hang out with you, man. I miss you. 85 00:03:55,053 --> 00:03:57,056 That's why‐that‐that's the only reason I came. 86 00:03:57,057 --> 00:03:58,059 What's going on? 87 00:03:58,644 --> 00:04:00,271 Tell me about your life. 88 00:04:07,035 --> 00:04:08,580 Take my headphones off. 89 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,001 OK. 90 00:04:12,839 --> 00:04:15,175 Got a bit of a lady situation myself. 91 00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:17,640 Met this girl playing Call of Duty online. 92 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,727 She's awesome. 93 00:04:19,728 --> 00:04:20,729 Dude, that's amazing. 94 00:04:20,730 --> 00:04:23,694 Yeah, like, we just talked about life. 95 00:04:24,696 --> 00:04:26,239 You know, and I haven't really felt 96 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,247 like I've ever connected with someone like this. 97 00:04:30,248 --> 00:04:34,005 You know, and she invited me over to her apartment today. 98 00:04:34,006 --> 00:04:35,215 That's awesome. You got to go. 99 00:04:35,216 --> 00:04:37,679 Ahh... can't. 100 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,476 She's all the way up in Mahwah. 101 00:04:40,477 --> 00:04:42,354 Can't ask my mom to take me to a date. 102 00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,358 Let's go, man. I‐I want to take you. 103 00:04:44,359 --> 00:04:45,195 Right now? 104 00:04:45,196 --> 00:04:46,614 Yeah, yeah, no‐‐ this is‐this is‐‐ 105 00:04:46,615 --> 00:04:48,116 I haven't seen you for a while, 106 00:04:48,117 --> 00:04:49,327 the fact that she invited you today‐‐. 107 00:04:49,328 --> 00:04:51,499 This‐I think this was meant to be. Let's do it. 108 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,046 Take my ventilator off. 109 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,725 So, what's, uh‐‐ you didn't even tell me, man. 110 00:05:00,726 --> 00:05:03,773 I mean, like, what's she look like? Like, what's‐what's‐what's her deal? 111 00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:06,486 Is she in, like, a similar, like, situation? 112 00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:08,490 Huh? What? 113 00:05:08,491 --> 00:05:11,496 Has she got dystrophy, or is she, like, a chair person? 114 00:05:11,497 --> 00:05:13,793 A chair person? What? 115 00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:16,924 No, that's not a crazy question. You're acting like I'm, like, being rude. 116 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,761 Think about it. What would we do? 117 00:05:18,762 --> 00:05:20,390 Play fuckin' bumper cars? 118 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,313 OK, yeah, no, that makes sense, sorry. 119 00:05:24,314 --> 00:05:26,151 I didn't‐I didn't mean that. 120 00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:27,403 Oh, and I almost forgot‐‐ 121 00:05:27,404 --> 00:05:31,537 Mikaela asked if we could pick up booze along the way, 122 00:05:31,538 --> 00:05:34,209 so we got to make a pit stop. 123 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:39,427 All right, man. 124 00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:41,432 What, uh, what kind of alcohol you want? 125 00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,728 I don't know. 126 00:05:43,729 --> 00:05:46,942 All right, and don't pull the whole Muslim, "Oh, what's alcohol?" 127 00:05:46,943 --> 00:05:48,738 You've been to way more parties than me. 128 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,157 Yeah, but I don't drink at them. 129 00:05:50,158 --> 00:05:51,994 I... I'll just‐‐ I'll figure something out. 130 00:05:51,995 --> 00:05:52,996 I'll‐I'll find something that looks good. 131 00:05:52,997 --> 00:05:54,165 Thank you. All right. 132 00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,919 And a box of condoms. 133 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,338 Dude, no. 134 00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:58,966 We can't do this. You have a heart problem. 135 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,385 We're not gonna experiment with sex. 136 00:06:00,386 --> 00:06:01,847 Don't start with the heart, all right? 137 00:06:01,848 --> 00:06:02,849 How is it even gonna happen? 138 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:04,477 Like, what‐how are you gonna have sex with her? 139 00:06:04,478 --> 00:06:08,152 If it happens, be there for the setup, and I'll take it from there. 140 00:06:09,864 --> 00:06:11,282 All right, man, I'll get the‐‐ I'll get the condoms. 141 00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:11,910 Thank you. 142 00:06:11,911 --> 00:06:14,999 But we're‐we're gonna have to talk about how the execution happens. 143 00:06:42,596 --> 00:06:43,806 How are you, friend? 144 00:06:43,807 --> 00:06:48,691 Hey, um, can I also get a box of condoms? 145 00:06:48,692 --> 00:06:49,694 Which one? 146 00:06:50,194 --> 00:06:51,573 Let's do the yellow one. 147 00:06:54,036 --> 00:06:55,538 I. D., please. Yeah. 148 00:06:55,539 --> 00:06:56,749 There you go. 149 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,750 Thanks. 150 00:06:59,797 --> 00:07:02,217 Ramy Hassan‐Muslim name. You are Muslim? 151 00:07:02,218 --> 00:07:03,303 Yeah. 152 00:07:03,304 --> 00:07:04,514 As‐Salaam‐Alaikum. 153 00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:06,182 Wa‐Alaikum‐Salaam. 154 00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:15,536 Uh... thi‐‐this one‐this is‐‐ this isn't for me, actually. 155 00:07:15,537 --> 00:07:17,289 This is for my buddy, so... 156 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:19,126 No, no, no, no, no. You cannot buy for buddy. 157 00:07:19,127 --> 00:07:20,213 Buddy must show I. D. 158 00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:24,261 Well, he's, uh, he's‐it's, um, kind of hard to get him... 159 00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:25,472 you know, getting him out of the car is like‐‐ 160 00:07:25,473 --> 00:07:28,479 I need to see this buddy. 161 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,070 Yeah, you know, um... 162 00:07:34,282 --> 00:07:35,994 This is for me. 163 00:07:36,579 --> 00:07:42,047 I'm... I'm gonna‐I'm gonna drink it, and I'm gonna use them a lot, 164 00:07:42,048 --> 00:07:43,050 later. 165 00:07:43,885 --> 00:07:45,848 OK. Yeah, so. 166 00:07:52,277 --> 00:07:54,280 I‐I‐I actually haven't drank before, though. 167 00:07:54,281 --> 00:07:56,284 You know, this is gonna be my first time. 168 00:07:56,285 --> 00:07:58,121 If I do it. Like, I don't even know if I'm gonna do it. 169 00:07:58,122 --> 00:08:01,629 I'm still‐I'm really kind of struggling with the choice, so... 170 00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:07,725 I‐I fa‐I fasted Ramadan too, like, the whole month. 171 00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:12,693 Sa‐Salaam‐Alaikum. 172 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:14,906 Next! 173 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,045 All right, man, that's it over there. 174 00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:23,673 You ready? 175 00:08:24,675 --> 00:08:26,053 I'm fuckin' ready. 176 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,472 Let's do it, man. 177 00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:00,997 Dude. I thought you said there was one step. 178 00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,002 Shut the fuck up. It's only two. 179 00:09:14,859 --> 00:09:18,239 Steve! You look just like your avatar. 180 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,118 I'm so glad you came. 181 00:09:20,119 --> 00:09:22,498 Of course. I said I would. 182 00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:24,293 Who's this? 183 00:09:24,294 --> 00:09:26,923 Oh, yeah. Uh, this is Ramy. 184 00:09:26,924 --> 00:09:29,471 He's just... my aide. 185 00:09:30,056 --> 00:09:31,975 Yeah, I'm‐I'm, uh, just his aide. 186 00:09:31,976 --> 00:09:36,026 Uh, very, very minimal involvement, uh, with his life. 187 00:09:36,694 --> 00:09:38,572 That's so chill. 188 00:09:38,573 --> 00:09:39,575 Come in. 189 00:09:41,829 --> 00:09:44,166 Welcome to the abode. 190 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,836 That's Kristi over there. 191 00:09:51,599 --> 00:09:54,229 She's being fucking weird today. 192 00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:55,856 Did you bring the shit? 193 00:09:55,857 --> 00:09:56,859 Of course. 194 00:09:57,778 --> 00:09:58,822 Ramy. 195 00:10:00,575 --> 00:10:01,577 Ramy. 196 00:10:03,414 --> 00:10:04,416 OK. 197 00:10:07,046 --> 00:10:09,884 Oh, sweet! We finished out my parents' cabinet, 198 00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:11,095 and they're gone for the weekend, 199 00:10:11,096 --> 00:10:12,515 so we were like, "Oh, we got to get more!" 200 00:10:12,516 --> 00:10:14,519 So, this is awesome. 201 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,232 Ohh! This shit is lit! 202 00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,819 This shit is gon' be lit! 203 00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:20,238 This shit is lit! 204 00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:22,242 This shit is gon' be lit! 205 00:10:22,243 --> 00:10:25,666 This shit is lit, this shit is gon' be lit! 206 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,252 - Lit. - Uh, I'm gonna pour us some. 207 00:10:27,253 --> 00:10:28,965 Awesome. Yeah, for sure, thanks. 208 00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:32,012 Dude, you bought some good stuff. 209 00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:35,268 Dude, what the fuck is happening right now? 210 00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:36,437 What? 211 00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:37,815 These girls are really young, man. 212 00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:40,069 She said that she lives here with her parents? 213 00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:43,702 OK. We live with our parents. It's a fucked‐up economy. 214 00:10:43,703 --> 00:10:45,246 Yeah, I don't think this is because of the economy, man. 215 00:10:45,247 --> 00:10:46,833 Heh... hey! 216 00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:47,834 Ohh. 217 00:10:48,922 --> 00:10:51,133 Uh, no, I don't‐I don't need a shot. I'm good. 218 00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:53,054 I, uh, I actually am driving, 219 00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:56,393 'cause I'm his aide, so, I'm on the clock. 220 00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,897 More for us. Yes! 221 00:10:57,898 --> 00:10:59,651 Should... I...? 222 00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:00,486 Be my guest. 223 00:11:00,487 --> 00:11:01,988 Uh, he's actually, he's... 224 00:11:01,989 --> 00:11:04,159 really can't either, he's a little bit of a lightweight, 225 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,332 and his condition and stuff, so, um, it's probably better if he doesn't. 226 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,713 Well, they're already poured, so there's no turning back. 227 00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:16,268 OK, you wanna pace yourself a little, or...? 228 00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:22,780 Mmm! Coconut is my jam! All right, let's go! 229 00:11:22,781 --> 00:11:26,997 Light that fucking blunt, bitch! Light that fucking blunt, bitch! 230 00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,215 Sit down, stop being weird. 231 00:11:32,216 --> 00:11:33,678 Eh‐OK. 232 00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:40,900 Oh, you're on duty. I remember. 233 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:41,901 Yeah. 234 00:11:42,613 --> 00:11:44,448 Uh, Steve's good, actually. 235 00:11:44,449 --> 00:11:46,285 Uh, he needs a ventilator to breathe, 236 00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:48,916 so I don't think smoke's gonna help him. 237 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:53,509 I use a ventilator so I can live... for this. 238 00:11:54,302 --> 00:11:56,681 He's fine, thank you. 239 00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:57,683 Hey, Mikaela, 240 00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,313 you said you wanted to show me your gaming setup? 241 00:12:00,314 --> 00:12:01,858 Oh, yeah! 242 00:12:01,859 --> 00:12:02,861 Let's go! 243 00:12:23,193 --> 00:12:24,070 OK. 244 00:12:24,071 --> 00:12:25,740 Hey, um... 245 00:12:26,366 --> 00:12:27,910 it's... 246 00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:30,874 Kristi. Kristi. Yeah, hey. 247 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:31,794 Hi. 248 00:12:31,795 --> 00:12:34,841 You been um, like, partyin' all day, or‐‐? 249 00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:37,054 You call this a party? 250 00:12:40,144 --> 00:12:42,732 I don't know. Mikaela's, like, on one or something. 251 00:12:42,733 --> 00:12:43,734 Yeah. 252 00:12:43,735 --> 00:12:46,740 I'm gonna go check on Steve, and just make sure that we're‐‐ 253 00:12:46,741 --> 00:12:47,950 I'll‐I'll be right back. 254 00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:48,953 OK. 255 00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:53,127 Can I, like, control your joystick? 256 00:12:53,128 --> 00:12:54,422 I don't see why not. 257 00:12:54,923 --> 00:12:56,843 So many buttons. 258 00:12:58,765 --> 00:13:00,726 Ramy! 259 00:13:00,727 --> 00:13:03,899 Those shots you got were lit as fuck! 260 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:05,318 I've got to get more. 261 00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:07,656 Oh. H‐hey, Mikaela, uh, 262 00:13:07,657 --> 00:13:09,660 you think you could give Steve and I a sec? 263 00:13:09,661 --> 00:13:12,625 I just want to, like, check out his, uh, oxygen and, you know, 264 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,169 heart rate and all that. 265 00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:17,551 That's cool. A bitch got to pee anyway. 266 00:13:17,552 --> 00:13:18,762 Yeah, yeah, for sure. 267 00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:22,728 Maybe ha‐have some water too? Yeah? Just, like, a sip of water. 268 00:13:24,398 --> 00:13:26,778 Dude, we got to get outta here now. 269 00:13:26,779 --> 00:13:28,657 These girls are definitely in high school. 270 00:13:28,658 --> 00:13:30,744 Yeah. She's 16. 271 00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:33,207 You knew that? Dude, she's underage. 272 00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:37,257 According to the State of New Jersey, 16 is the age of consent. 273 00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:39,971 We bought them alcohol, dude. That's definitely illegal. 274 00:13:39,972 --> 00:13:43,394 They were drinking before we got here. If anything, we're chaperoning. 275 00:13:43,395 --> 00:13:46,066 Yeah, we are chaperoning. That girl has braces, Steve. 276 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,945 - You're judging. - If she's drunk, 277 00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:50,951 how can she even fuckin' consent to the age of consent? 278 00:13:50,952 --> 00:13:54,834 Um, I can't physically force myself onto anyone. 279 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,796 I think that's pretty fucking obvious. 280 00:13:57,799 --> 00:13:59,176 I'm "Me Too" ‐proof. 281 00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:01,931 I don't feel good about this, at all. 282 00:14:01,932 --> 00:14:06,190 Ramy, I don't have the same options that you do. 283 00:14:06,901 --> 00:14:11,491 I can't just go to a party on the Upper East Side. 284 00:14:11,492 --> 00:14:15,292 I can't just use apps to meet people. 285 00:14:16,545 --> 00:14:19,550 I know this shit's weird, 286 00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:22,681 but we've been flirting all week, 287 00:14:22,682 --> 00:14:24,728 way before she was drunk. 288 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:29,069 She likes me, I like her, 289 00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,448 and she wants me here. 290 00:14:31,449 --> 00:14:33,663 So, please... 291 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,919 just let me have this one. 292 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:46,270 Want one? 293 00:14:47,691 --> 00:14:51,071 Um, nah, I'm OK, I don't drink. 294 00:14:51,072 --> 00:14:52,491 You're straight edge? 295 00:14:53,703 --> 00:14:55,080 Yeah, something like that. 296 00:14:55,665 --> 00:14:58,754 Yeah, I tried that once. It was a fucking failure. 297 00:15:00,298 --> 00:15:02,845 Mikaela always does this. 298 00:15:02,846 --> 00:15:03,847 She's, like, 299 00:15:03,848 --> 00:15:06,894 always trying to be, like, open‐minded, 300 00:15:06,895 --> 00:15:09,107 or alternative or whatever. 301 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:12,531 Like, last year she was hooking up with this cholo dude from Patterson, 302 00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:16,121 and I was like, "Dude! He's in a gang!" 303 00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:20,172 And‐and she just said that she was trying to help immigration or something. 304 00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:24,513 I don't know, she's just, like, really into woke dick. 305 00:15:24,514 --> 00:15:26,518 I guess disabled is a step up. 306 00:15:27,729 --> 00:15:30,818 Yeah, disabled is, uh‐‐ sounds better. 307 00:15:32,614 --> 00:15:35,953 She slept with my boyfriend last year. 308 00:15:37,164 --> 00:15:40,002 I'm sorry. That, um, that sucks. 309 00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:42,633 How could you hook up with someone that's already in a relationship? 310 00:15:42,634 --> 00:15:44,845 It's just, like, so messed up. 311 00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:48,478 I mean, like, at least in college, people have their, like, shit figured out. 312 00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:52,360 Yeah, you know, I mean, like... 313 00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:56,994 college doesn't make all those things any clearer, you know? 314 00:15:56,995 --> 00:15:59,959 I‐I mean, I think sometimes people sleep with the wrong person, 315 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:03,090 and they don't know, you know, 316 00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:04,384 the‐why they did it. 317 00:16:04,385 --> 00:16:05,720 It just‐it just happened, 318 00:16:05,721 --> 00:16:09,771 and‐and‐and it doesn't mean they're a bad person. You know? Um... 319 00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:14,196 If anything, these things get a little more complicated the older you get. 320 00:16:18,371 --> 00:16:21,168 Sometimes I wonder if I should just, like, fucking kill myself. 321 00:16:22,672 --> 00:16:23,673 What? 322 00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:26,512 Everyone says these are the best years of our lives, 323 00:16:26,513 --> 00:16:29,603 and if that's true, that's just, like, fucking depressing. 324 00:16:30,395 --> 00:16:32,984 Like you said, huh, it's not gonna change. 325 00:16:33,569 --> 00:16:35,404 But it‐it‐it does change a little bit. 326 00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:37,993 Like, it doesn't fully change, but there's definitely change. 327 00:16:37,994 --> 00:16:39,955 I just don't want to be here anymore. 328 00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:43,170 I just can't do it anymore. I just can't, OK? 329 00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:53,816 What‐what if I, um, 330 00:16:53,817 --> 00:16:55,904 what if I just‐what if I take a drink with you, huh? 331 00:16:55,905 --> 00:16:56,905 Yeah. 332 00:16:57,742 --> 00:16:59,369 Let's have that drink. 333 00:16:59,370 --> 00:17:01,206 OK? 334 00:17:01,207 --> 00:17:03,836 Come on, here we go. I'm‐I'm gonna‐‐ 335 00:17:03,837 --> 00:17:06,216 I need‐I need someone to "cheers" with, right? 336 00:17:06,217 --> 00:17:07,928 I mean... 337 00:17:07,929 --> 00:17:10,392 OK... 338 00:17:14,024 --> 00:17:16,654 You probably don't even drink this girlie shit, do you? 339 00:17:16,655 --> 00:17:19,868 No, I‐I'll‐I‐I'll drink. Just‐ju‐I'll drink it with you. 340 00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:21,789 Just let's have a "cheers." Come on, let's do it. 341 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,083 I‐I can't do it if you don't‐‐. 342 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,337 Cheers! Just cheers! 343 00:17:25,338 --> 00:17:26,550 There you go. The‐‐. 344 00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:38,031 Ahh. 345 00:17:40,243 --> 00:17:42,038 Wow. Ah... 346 00:17:44,043 --> 00:17:45,045 That's, um... 347 00:17:48,051 --> 00:17:49,260 That was really good, 348 00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,056 and‐and‐and this is‐‐ 349 00:17:51,057 --> 00:17:53,268 this is really good, yeah? 350 00:17:53,269 --> 00:17:54,271 Like, loo‐‐. 351 00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:58,613 Like, look, I‐I‐I know I haven't known you that long, 352 00:17:58,614 --> 00:18:02,453 but you're one of the coolest people I've ever met. 353 00:18:02,454 --> 00:18:04,082 Seriously, like, the fact that 354 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,881 you were able to forgive Mikaela after she slept with your boyfriend‐‐. 355 00:18:07,882 --> 00:18:08,884 There's... 356 00:18:09,886 --> 00:18:11,681 not a lot of people like that, you know? 357 00:18:11,682 --> 00:18:15,898 Like, the‐the‐the world needs more people like you to... 358 00:18:16,692 --> 00:18:19,112 to be alive, you know? 359 00:18:20,115 --> 00:18:21,701 Yeah. 360 00:18:21,702 --> 00:18:22,912 Yeah? Mm. 361 00:18:23,914 --> 00:18:27,879 I actually wrote a song about everything that happened after. 362 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,717 Do you want to hear it? 363 00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:31,512 I‐I would love to hear it. 364 00:18:31,513 --> 00:18:32,723 Are you sure? 365 00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,560 Yeah. OK. 366 00:18:36,313 --> 00:18:38,316 I mean, I'm just gonna play the backtrack 367 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,864 and‐and do the vocals, like, live. 368 00:18:40,865 --> 00:18:43,201 Yeah, live vocals, that's‐that's great. 369 00:19:18,774 --> 00:19:21,779 Wow, that was‐‐ that was really powerful. 370 00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:23,783 I mean, that‐that‐that whisper at the end. 371 00:19:23,784 --> 00:19:25,369 That‐that‐Wow. 372 00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:26,872 It was just so vulnerable 373 00:19:26,873 --> 00:19:30,630 and so... so you. 374 00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:31,632 Yeah? 375 00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:32,635 And, uh... 376 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,978 it's good. 377 00:19:37,979 --> 00:19:39,606 Thank you. 378 00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:43,699 You know, I love your beard. 379 00:19:44,993 --> 00:19:47,371 Yeah, it's, like, so cool. 380 00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:50,753 Like, all the guys at school try to grow beards, 381 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,424 but it just looks like pubic hair. 382 00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:56,014 Takes time. You know, like, people usually grow them in college, 383 00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:59,228 you know, which is where you'll‐you'll be going soon, yeah? 384 00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:01,650 Well, thanks for being such a good listener. 385 00:20:01,651 --> 00:20:02,736 Yeah, of cour‐‐. 386 00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:06,159 Look, it's‐it was a‐‐ it was a really good song, 387 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,996 so it was easy to listen to. 388 00:20:07,997 --> 00:20:12,589 No... I mean, sometimes I feel like no one can hear me... 389 00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:14,175 But you do. 390 00:20:16,556 --> 00:20:19,811 You know, I've been thinking about what you said before. 391 00:20:19,812 --> 00:20:20,813 About, uh...? 392 00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:23,193 About‐about forgiveness, 393 00:20:23,194 --> 00:20:25,699 and how that makes me a stronger person. 394 00:20:27,202 --> 00:20:29,331 I think I really needed to hear that... 395 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:33,213 to know that there's something good about me, 396 00:20:33,214 --> 00:20:36,513 that I'm, like, worth love. 397 00:20:37,389 --> 00:20:38,390 Yeah. 398 00:20:38,391 --> 00:20:40,603 Can I, like, touch your beard? It's so cool. 399 00:20:40,604 --> 00:20:42,565 Yeah, OK. 400 00:20:42,566 --> 00:20:44,569 What does your beard smell like? 401 00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:46,824 - Ah, it just‐it just smells like hair. - It what? 402 00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:50,164 Yeah, just like‐like‐it's like the hair, like, on your head, yeah. 403 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:51,876 Ramy! 404 00:20:53,087 --> 00:20:54,047 Ramy! 405 00:20:54,048 --> 00:20:55,049 Shit. 406 00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:00,434 Steve? What's up, buddy? 407 00:21:00,435 --> 00:21:02,647 Mikaela's just throwing up everywhere. 408 00:21:02,648 --> 00:21:04,651 Well, hey‐hey, can you open the door? 409 00:21:04,652 --> 00:21:07,322 When we locked it, we did a real complex job. 410 00:21:07,323 --> 00:21:09,536 OK, can Mikaela‐‐ can you open the door, please? 411 00:21:09,537 --> 00:21:11,289 Oh, fuck, she's out. 412 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:12,751 Mikaela? 413 00:21:12,752 --> 00:21:13,753 Mikaela, are you OK? 414 00:21:13,754 --> 00:21:15,716 - Oh, fuck! - Mikaela! 415 00:21:15,799 --> 00:21:16,967 Shit. 416 00:21:16,968 --> 00:21:18,470 This happened once before. 417 00:21:18,471 --> 00:21:21,727 OK, look, I told her she can't drink anything unless she eats something first. 418 00:21:21,728 --> 00:21:22,729 OK, Kristi, how 'bout this‐‐ 419 00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:24,566 why don't you go see if you've got a knife or something in the kitchen, 420 00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:25,943 and I can try to get this doorknob open. 421 00:21:25,944 --> 00:21:26,988 OK. 422 00:21:30,369 --> 00:21:33,291 Kristi, go, go. I believe in you. Go. 423 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,505 All right, man, we're getting a knife. I'm gonna try and get this door open. 424 00:21:35,506 --> 00:21:36,507 Oh, shit. 425 00:21:36,508 --> 00:21:38,511 Bitch is pissing herself. 426 00:21:38,512 --> 00:21:41,182 - What? - Fuck. This is bad, man. 427 00:21:41,183 --> 00:21:42,060 Fuck. 428 00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:42,978 Aah! 429 00:21:42,979 --> 00:21:45,232 - This stuff's really bad. - Kristi, give me the knife. 430 00:21:45,233 --> 00:21:46,653 Dude, you were right. 431 00:21:47,153 --> 00:21:48,781 - Um... - This is real bad. 432 00:21:48,782 --> 00:21:50,158 Yeah, I'm‐I'm trying, dude. 433 00:21:50,159 --> 00:21:51,244 Maybe we got to call somebody. 434 00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:52,412 We're not calling the cops. 435 00:21:52,413 --> 00:21:54,416 No one's calling the cops, all right? No cops. 436 00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:55,878 Let's just figure this out ourselves. 437 00:21:55,879 --> 00:21:57,715 WikiHow says to kick the door down. 438 00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:58,593 What? 439 00:21:58,594 --> 00:22:01,222 WikiHow says the best way to break down a door is with a forceful kick. 440 00:22:01,223 --> 00:22:02,642 Kick the fuckin' door! 441 00:22:02,643 --> 00:22:03,643 OK, OK, OK. 442 00:22:04,062 --> 00:22:06,274 No, don't do a jump kick, OK? 443 00:22:06,275 --> 00:22:08,111 You lose momentum that way. 444 00:22:08,112 --> 00:22:09,948 It says‐it says plant one foot on the ground... 445 00:22:09,949 --> 00:22:11,450 Yeah? And kick with your dominant foot. 446 00:22:11,451 --> 00:22:12,451 OK, OK. 447 00:22:13,038 --> 00:22:14,834 No! Do like the picture! 448 00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:17,045 Above or below the lock! 449 00:22:17,046 --> 00:22:18,215 Hurry! 450 00:22:18,717 --> 00:22:20,637 Kick with your heel! I'm trying to‐‐. 451 00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:22,599 Say Allahu Akbar. 452 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,601 What? 453 00:22:23,602 --> 00:22:26,063 I don't know, do your prayer shit. 454 00:22:26,064 --> 00:22:27,065 Allahu Akbar. 455 00:22:27,066 --> 00:22:28,067 Yeah, OK. 456 00:22:28,068 --> 00:22:29,069 Um... 457 00:22:31,325 --> 00:22:32,828 Allahu Akbar! 458 00:22:33,412 --> 00:22:34,623 Allahu Akbar! 459 00:22:34,624 --> 00:22:35,875 Akbar! 460 00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:37,086 Allahu Akbar! 461 00:22:37,588 --> 00:22:39,006 Allahu Akbar! Yeah! 462 00:22:39,007 --> 00:22:40,968 - Allahu Akbar! - Allahu Akbar! 463 00:22:40,969 --> 00:22:42,472 Allahu Akbar! 464 00:22:43,808 --> 00:22:44,809 Come on, man, get her up. 465 00:22:44,810 --> 00:22:46,020 Yeah, I know. Here, help me lift her up. 466 00:22:46,021 --> 00:22:47,022 Help me lift her, help me lift her. 467 00:22:47,023 --> 00:22:48,859 OK, here we go. Come on, come on. 468 00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:49,903 - Mikaela. - Come on, come on. 469 00:22:49,904 --> 00:22:50,905 Come on. All right. 470 00:22:50,906 --> 00:22:53,117 I don't care about any of that stuff with Brandon, OK? 471 00:22:53,118 --> 00:22:54,996 Please just, like, wake up, OK? 472 00:22:54,997 --> 00:22:56,415 What are we gonna do? 473 00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:57,919 I'm just seeing if she's breathing. 474 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,131 Well, don't you have a procedure? I thought you were a nurse. 475 00:23:00,132 --> 00:23:01,133 Um... 476 00:23:01,134 --> 00:23:03,179 Aide. Much less training. 477 00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:05,016 No, she's breathing, she's definitely breathing. 478 00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,435 Mikaela. Mikaela. 479 00:23:06,436 --> 00:23:09,066 - Mikaela. - Huh? Mikaela? Huh, huh, huh? 480 00:23:09,067 --> 00:23:10,277 Come on, Mikaela. 481 00:23:10,278 --> 00:23:11,279 Hey. Mikaela. 482 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,281 Oh, fuck. 483 00:23:12,282 --> 00:23:13,701 OK, Kristi. OK. 484 00:23:13,702 --> 00:23:15,287 I need you to get me some seltzer water, right, 485 00:23:15,288 --> 00:23:17,499 something that we can give her to just calm herself down. 486 00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:19,212 And, uh, I know where we can take her. 487 00:23:27,228 --> 00:23:28,229 Yo, she's in the front seat. 488 00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:29,858 She's up front? OK. 489 00:23:29,859 --> 00:23:31,485 Thank you, man. I got you, man. 490 00:23:31,486 --> 00:23:34,074 Well, I got everyone, I'm a doctor, but you get it. 491 00:23:34,075 --> 00:23:36,245 I got her, I got her. OK, here we go. 492 00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:40,211 All right, this is my friend Ahmed. 493 00:23:40,212 --> 00:23:41,548 Hi, Mikaela. You're gonna be OK. 494 00:23:41,549 --> 00:23:42,550 Yeah? 495 00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:44,471 Yeah, I'm not letting you go to jail, man. 496 00:23:44,722 --> 00:23:46,349 I told you Steve's the devil. 497 00:23:46,350 --> 00:23:48,394 Shoulda been dead four years ago. 498 00:23:48,395 --> 00:23:49,814 - OK, OK. - Just unlatch it right there. 499 00:23:49,815 --> 00:23:50,983 Here? OK. 500 00:23:50,984 --> 00:23:52,820 There you go. See? Here we go. 501 00:23:52,821 --> 00:23:54,323 Tell her little friend to go through the front. 502 00:23:54,324 --> 00:23:56,828 Okay, I will. Dude, thank you, man. Just text me, let me know. 503 00:23:56,829 --> 00:23:58,624 I got you, I will. 504 00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:00,252 Thank you. 505 00:24:11,859 --> 00:24:12,861 Dude. 506 00:24:18,581 --> 00:24:20,126 Allahu Akbar. 507 00:24:21,504 --> 00:24:24,843 You know, you're normally a bitch, 508 00:24:24,844 --> 00:24:26,220 but you really manned up tonight. 509 00:24:29,645 --> 00:24:31,524 We made out? What? 510 00:24:32,066 --> 00:24:34,111 She tasted like piña coladas. 511 00:24:34,112 --> 00:24:38,369 Yeah, I'm sure she did. She‐‐ she fuckin' drank that whole thing. 512 00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:39,582 Come on, dude, let's go. 513 00:24:53,108 --> 00:24:55,112 Where have you been? 514 00:24:57,325 --> 00:24:59,329 Hey, I w‐I was just hanging out with Steve. 515 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,295 Sit down, I wanna to talk to you. 516 00:25:04,088 --> 00:25:07,094 Uh, I‐is everything OK? I... why are you up so late? 517 00:25:07,721 --> 00:25:09,767 I want to tell you about my day. Sit down. 518 00:25:12,188 --> 00:25:13,357 OK. 519 00:25:15,904 --> 00:25:20,539 I received a phone call today from a guy I knew from the mosque. 520 00:25:21,289 --> 00:25:26,716 He tells me about his new job he has as an investment banker, 521 00:25:26,717 --> 00:25:28,929 where he has to travel a lot, 522 00:25:28,930 --> 00:25:33,021 and, uh, that kind of put some stress on his marriage. 523 00:25:34,525 --> 00:25:39,367 So, uh, Taheem comes home today from the airport. 524 00:25:40,286 --> 00:25:42,915 He finds his wife crying, and before he knows it, 525 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,837 she confesses everything to him. 526 00:25:45,964 --> 00:25:49,929 Apparently, while he is away, 527 00:25:49,930 --> 00:25:53,563 you have been seeing his wife Salma. 528 00:25:56,151 --> 00:25:57,153 Um... 529 00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:02,162 Yeah, I‐I, um... 530 00:26:02,163 --> 00:26:03,540 Look, I... 531 00:26:03,541 --> 00:26:06,588 It kind of happened really fast, and I didn't know what I was doing‐‐. 532 00:26:11,766 --> 00:26:14,395 How could you do this to a married woman? 533 00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:54,809 And finally, after months, 534 00:26:54,810 --> 00:26:56,019 they sent me a tape back, 535 00:26:56,020 --> 00:26:58,776 and it was my father, cursing at me for leaving. 536 00:27:56,057 --> 00:27:58,061 Ya Allah, at least you're not gay. 38908

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