All language subtitles for Those Who Cant s03e11 Big Ol Scams.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,087 --> 00:00:02,999 So I was like, "Okay. Let's go to the mountains." 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,271 And he goes to, like, Georgetown. 3 00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,273 He's like, "Get the fuck out." 4 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:10,343 I'm sorry. I just lost my wife. 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,212 [CRYING] Jesus, this is hard to watch. 6 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,747 So then don't watch! 7 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,215 Nobody asked you to sit with me! 8 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,752 - Okay. - No, don't go, don't go. 9 00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:20,954 Just... stick around for a little bit. 10 00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:22,555 I'm pretty sure it's illegal to cry 11 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,157 and eat ice cream at the same time. 12 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,159 Lucky for you, my wire's not on. 13 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,493 It's just that [SNIFFLES] Jade and I 14 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:30,163 are supposed to be on our honeymoon right now... 15 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,565 at a Flip-Flop Resort on Hispaniola. 16 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,168 - Which side? - Haiti. 17 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,437 We booked the Wyclef Jean suite. 18 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,172 One time. 19 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,174 Cheer up. I think that you dodged a bullet. 20 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,776 Yeah, marriage is a lot 21 00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:45,178 like being held captive in a basement, anyway. 22 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,513 You just say that 'cause you actually live in a basement. 23 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:48,648 Figuratively, too. 24 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:49,849 I mean, when my marriage fell apart... 25 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,785 - Oh, my God! - Abbey! 26 00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,919 Ease on the arriage-may stuff. 27 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,322 He's sad. A little soon, don't you think? 28 00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,390 You're the one that brought it up. 29 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,193 Do something, Shoemaker. I'm in existential pain. 30 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,061 You know what, Abbey? Would you be a dear 31 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,131 and go get our friend here a cup of coffee? 32 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,800 Deer can't carry coffee. [LAUGHS] 33 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:07,867 [SCOFFS] 34 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,202 Almond milk, organic sugar. 35 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,736 Yeah, one or two? 36 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,071 Mm, two ought to do it. 37 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,875 All right, you guys. I've got actual things to do. 38 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,277 You can have your sausage funeral by yourself. 39 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,412 And get me two muffins. 40 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,880 41 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,149 Quit wasting my time 42 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,751 I ain't here for you 43 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,953 I'm just putting in work 44 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:31,578 Till my day is through 45 00:01:31,579 --> 00:01:33,493 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 46 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,295 Do you think you'll be giving the gifts back to the... 47 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:39,232 Shoemaker, I can't think about that right now! 48 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,100 So selfish! 49 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,235 Foreman Grills aren't cheap. 50 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,303 [CRYING] 51 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,840 Hey, everybody. Uh, just a general reminder 52 00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:49,442 that the vocational career fair that I put together 53 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,578 for Smoot's grossly underserved low-performance students 54 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,779 starts today. 55 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,981 Quick little pro tip... Just funnel those kids 56 00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:58,518 straight to the Armed Services recruiters. 57 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,386 Hey, these kids still have career options, you know. 58 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,321 Oh, yeah. Mnh! Mnh! Mnh! Mnh! 59 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:03,657 Like truck drivers. 60 00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,191 [SIGHS] 61 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:06,660 I hope there's a carousel at this fair. [CHUCKLES] 62 00:02:06,661 --> 00:02:09,462 It's a career fair, you moron. 63 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,330 - Career fair? - Getting dumber every day. 64 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,666 Never thought about going pro. [CHUCKLES] 65 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,868 I mean, I am pretty good. 66 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,269 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] 67 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,337 68 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,740 This is just what you need. 69 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,609 Nothing will make you feel like less of a failure 70 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,412 than Jet Skiing across Lake Loser! 71 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,347 I feel like I'm lying in a bag of cinder blocks 72 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,683 at the bottom of that lake. 73 00:02:29,684 --> 00:02:31,951 - Ugh. Again with the sad stuff. - I don't want to be here. 74 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,553 Look, look, over here. 75 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,754 - Dental hygiene. - Ohh. 76 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,622 Kids, this is a great job. 77 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,892 It's got all the glitz and glamour of being a maid 78 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,894 except with your hands in a stranger's mouth. 79 00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:41,961 [LAUGHS] 80 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,363 You couldn't do it. 81 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,564 Come on. Try to have fun. 82 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,900 Look, look. How about this one, okay? 83 00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:49,903 Look at that. Department of Corrections. 84 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:52,037 [CHUCKLES] This job is perfect 85 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:54,507 for those of you too racist to be cops. 86 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,641 [CHUCKLES] 87 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:58,978 Oh, oh. All right, easy there, Ponch. 88 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,113 [CHUCKLES] That's pretty good. 89 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,315 This stinks. When's the college fair? 90 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,383 College fair was three weeks ago, Jack. 91 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,319 If you were college-bound, you would've heard about it. 92 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,787 Probably why he should hightail it over 93 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,122 to the old HVAC booth, huh? 94 00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:10,790 Think somebody's got a long career 95 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,325 of showing his ass crack to housewives. 96 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,526 97 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,195 Oh, you're doing it, Peter. 98 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,463 There you are! 99 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,065 - Come on. - Bangarang, Lost Boy! 100 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,335 Come on. You try your own. Come on. Try one on your own. 101 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,803 All right. 102 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,805 Social work... very nice. 103 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,206 Uh, oh, I got it. 104 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,674 Why don't you show me on the doll 105 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,276 where you failed the bar exam? 106 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,278 - Oh-ho-ho-ho! - Oh-ho-ho-ho! 107 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,480 - Boom! There he is! - Dude, that actually felt really good. 108 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,549 - Fan the flames, man. - [SIGHS] 109 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,817 I just wish we had these losers around 110 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,218 all the time, you know? 111 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,686 Look! Free stuff! 112 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,488 All the free stuff you can carry! 113 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,357 I got a new smaller mustache brush. Mm? 114 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,691 [CHUCKLES] 115 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:48,694 Holy Peanut Buster Parfaits. Dairy Queen is here? 116 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,429 I'm gonna go try to get her autograph. 117 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:54,567 118 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,569 ABBEY: Big Ol' Yams? 119 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,904 - Hi. - Oh, hi. 120 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,240 I-I think there's been some sort of confusion. 121 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,509 I'm supposed to be booth 36-D. 122 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,111 Oh, no, we're 36-D. 123 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,075 Maybe you're like a... 32-B? 124 00:04:08,076 --> 00:04:09,515 Or A. [BOTH LAUGH] 125 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:11,517 Oh, yeah, okay. That's funny. 126 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:14,120 Um, listen, woman to woman, 127 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,388 I totally applaud 128 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,991 you reclaiming your sexuality through franchising, 129 00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:20,860 but this is my librarian booth. 130 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,262 Sorry. We've had this reserved for, like, three weeks. 131 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,399 Okay. Um... 132 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,268 Steven? Hey! What is this? 133 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,004 You promised me a librarian booth. 134 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:32,472 - Well, actually, you e-mailed me... - Uh-huh. 135 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,740 And I didn't get a chance to reply no. 136 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,075 I'm sorry, Ms. Logan. 137 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,478 Library science is a lot like the mortuary arts... 138 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,813 A dying profession. 139 00:04:39,814 --> 00:04:41,146 [CHUCKLES] Get it? 140 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:45,084 So the future is this skanky vegan "breastaurant"? 141 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:49,555 Um, I mean, pro-fem empowerment... 142 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:50,690 Whatever. You guys are gross. 143 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,493 [SCOFFS] I mean, who even likes this garbage? 144 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:57,030 Wow. This Tap That Grass is nummy-licious. 145 00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,631 - Oh, thanks. - Thank you! 146 00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,965 All right, you know what? I get your concern. 147 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,701 I, too, thought it was vulgar at first, 148 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,170 - but the employee benefits are great. - [SIGHS] 149 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:07,173 I mean, the Big Ol' Health Plan, the Big Ol' 401 Double K's. 150 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,575 Okay. You know what? I'm sorry. I don't name these things. 151 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,310 I-I just think this is beneath Smoot. 152 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,978 Excuse me. What free stuff do you have? 153 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,514 Hey, babe, you want to try some veggie jelly? 154 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,382 [CHUCKLES] I don't mind if I do. 155 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,317 [CHUCKLES] 156 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,520 [SLURPING] 157 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,522 Mnh! Mnh! 158 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,657 - Oh. Okay. - Ugh! 159 00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,659 Oh, my God! 160 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:26,860 [COUGHS, SPITS] 161 00:05:26,861 --> 00:05:28,127 Beneath Smoot, huh? 162 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,262 [BREATHING DEEPLY] 163 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,930 No. I think it's right on par. 164 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,496 Ugh. I do not think I was ready for that jelly. 165 00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:35,935 That's the trash, right? 166 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,271 Ugh! Everything is trash. 167 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:39,539 God... 168 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,874 Done. 169 00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,409 So, do either of you live alone? 170 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,078 I do. What'd you have in mind? 171 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,213 PG-13 pizza party? [CHUCKLES] 172 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,281 No. 173 00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:49,883 174 00:05:49,884 --> 00:05:53,018 And, alas, we reach rock bottom... real estate. 175 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,888 - Ugh! - Scum of the Earth. 176 00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:57,357 Commodifying a basic human right. 177 00:05:57,358 --> 00:06:00,560 You're worse than doctors. How do you sleep at night? 178 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:04,297 On 800 thread-count sheets. How do you sleep? 179 00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,966 Fitfully, actually, in my son's old sleeping bag, 180 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,367 right next to the furnace. 181 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,836 Come on, kids, let's go. I've said too much. 182 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,372 Sounds like your friend sleeps in a basement. 183 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,639 Oh, was the furnace the giveaway, 184 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,774 or does that teal blazer 185 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,176 endow you with magical real-estate powers? 186 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,844 Kind of like that flannel makes you seem rustic 187 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,581 to the Dave & Buster's waitresses that you flirt with? 188 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:22,582 How did you know tha... 189 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,850 Oh. Okay. Well, touch?. 190 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,252 Solid assholery, sir. 191 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,520 You're a bit of an asshole yourself. 192 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,788 [CHUCKLES] 193 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,590 You ever think about getting into real estate? 194 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,991 Oh. [CHUCKLES] 195 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,859 You know, I'd... I'd love to, 196 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,861 but, uh, the kids need me here. 197 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,530 - Oh, yeah. - If I was ever to leave Smoot, 198 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,065 it'd just be like Jonestown without me. 199 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,135 Yeah, I can see you're already at the top of your game. 200 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:43,136 Mm, yeah. 201 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:44,670 Nothing spells success quite like 202 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,096 "public-school educator." 203 00:06:47,097 --> 00:06:48,341 Kids, will you just meet me 204 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:50,009 at the, uh... The Big Ol' Yams booth? 205 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:53,146 Save me a piece of "Hide the Soy-lami." 206 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,548 Shane Oswain, Realtor. 207 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,817 Loren Payton, real interested. 208 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,152 Over there, there's Uber. 209 00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,686 [CHUCKLING] I would've got a job for them, 210 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,556 but I don't have enough sex offenses on my record. 211 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,224 [LAUGHING] That's funny, right, Loren? 212 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,429 Lore... Loren? Loren? No! 213 00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:10,831 What are you doing? Real estate? 214 00:07:10,832 --> 00:07:13,634 That's the biggest scam there is! 215 00:07:13,635 --> 00:07:14,835 I couldn't agree more. 216 00:07:14,836 --> 00:07:16,236 217 00:07:16,237 --> 00:07:19,640 Oh. No. No, I stand corrected. 218 00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:22,775 Triametrics. "Ask us (almost) anything." 219 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,244 All right, I've got a question... 220 00:07:24,245 --> 00:07:26,779 What's a pyramid scheme masquerading as a religion 221 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,316 doing at a career fair? [CHUCKLES] 222 00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:30,984 We are not a religion. 223 00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:32,653 We offer careers in advancing mankind 224 00:07:32,654 --> 00:07:33,987 through holistic geometry. 225 00:07:33,988 --> 00:07:37,590 Oh, wow! That's super cool. 226 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,592 I haven't heard a bigger load of crap 227 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,795 since my real-estate agent told me 228 00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:44,131 that my basement was radon-free, 229 00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:47,468 the joke being that my... basement is not radon-free. 230 00:07:47,469 --> 00:07:48,920 It's too bad you're such a narrow mind. 231 00:07:48,921 --> 00:07:49,928 Whatever. 232 00:07:49,929 --> 00:07:52,873 Or you could live at Quazar Ranch for free. 233 00:07:52,874 --> 00:07:55,008 Whoa. What'd you just say? 234 00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:56,143 - Free, huh? - Mm-hmm. 235 00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:57,878 Here? 236 00:07:57,879 --> 00:08:00,881 Kids, uh, why don't you go over to the Big Ol' Yams booth? 237 00:08:00,882 --> 00:08:02,749 And go easy on the Camel Tofu. 238 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,551 That stuff is not good for you. 239 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,286 The Ranch allows our ambassadors to live 240 00:08:06,287 --> 00:08:08,288 without the worry of money. 241 00:08:08,289 --> 00:08:10,423 It's a worker's paradise, if you will. 242 00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:11,692 [CHUCKLING] Oh, I will! 243 00:08:11,693 --> 00:08:13,894 [LAUGHS] Zandra. 244 00:08:13,895 --> 00:08:15,496 [LAUGHS] Where do I sign? 245 00:08:15,497 --> 00:08:16,963 On the signature line. 246 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,832 Oh. That checks out. [CHUCKLES] Yeah. 247 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,433 248 00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,635 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] 249 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,705 250 00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:28,775 251 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:29,976 LOREN: Ohh. 252 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,378 No tub in this place, all right? 253 00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:33,714 - So what did you say? - I said, "Half bath? 254 00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:35,916 I'll let you know when I need to take a half dump." 255 00:08:35,917 --> 00:08:38,185 [BOTH LAUGH] Oh, my God! 256 00:08:38,186 --> 00:08:40,387 Shane, your anecdotes alone, bro... killing me. 257 00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:41,722 - So, get this. - Yeah. 258 00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:43,190 I'm the exclusive listing agent 259 00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:46,393 for some new lux condos in SuTo. 260 00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:47,994 Lux condos in Sucktown? 261 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,062 Yeah, no, I don't think that's going... 262 00:08:49,063 --> 00:08:51,865 No, not Sucktown... SuTo. We're rebranding it. 263 00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:53,534 Real estate's all about spin. 264 00:08:53,535 --> 00:08:55,187 Take a house that's next to train tracks. 265 00:08:55,188 --> 00:08:57,204 - Yeah. - It's not next to train tracks. 266 00:08:57,205 --> 00:08:59,005 It's "convenient to transit." 267 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,473 Ah, okay. 268 00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:03,210 So, like, "mid-century modern" instead of "asbestos vault." 269 00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:04,611 Dude, you're a natural. 270 00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:06,813 Why don't you take the Realtor exam, join my team? 271 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:07,948 I don't know. 272 00:09:07,949 --> 00:09:10,417 The Gables at SuTo is only in Phase One. 273 00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:12,085 There's a ton of potential sales. 274 00:09:12,086 --> 00:09:15,622 If I join, do I get one of these sick teal blazers? 275 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,290 Or coral. Your choice, bro. 276 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,292 - No, teal, all the way. - That's my team. 277 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,894 - You know what? Try it on. - Really? 278 00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,229 Want to see what you look like in this bad boy. 279 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,496 Okay. 280 00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,965 Oh, yeah. 281 00:09:24,966 --> 00:09:26,718 Dude, you look better in that than I do. 282 00:09:26,719 --> 00:09:28,501 - Right? - I'm gonna take some pictures. Cool? 283 00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,303 Hell, yeah. 284 00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:31,838 I can see the bus ad right now. Boom. 285 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:35,242 Oh, my God. Where do I sign? 286 00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:37,911 - On the signature line. - Oh. Yeah. That tracks. 287 00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,846 There we go. 288 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:42,048 Hey. $2,400. [CHUCKLES] 289 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,450 Congratulations. 290 00:09:43,451 --> 00:09:45,852 You're now a Phase One Triangle Ambassador. 291 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:48,255 Cool! When can I move in? 292 00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:49,656 Mondays are good for me... 293 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:52,459 You can move in as soon as you reach Phase Two. 294 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,394 But that was my entire life savings. 295 00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:55,662 Oh. Ambassador Billy, 296 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,731 you don't have to pay to enter Phase Two. 297 00:09:57,732 --> 00:10:00,267 You simply have to recruit five new people 298 00:10:00,268 --> 00:10:01,468 willing to pay for Phase One. 299 00:10:01,469 --> 00:10:02,803 Five people? 300 00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:05,072 W-W-Where am I gonna find five peo... 301 00:10:05,073 --> 00:10:07,741 302 00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:09,743 Can they be stupid? 303 00:10:09,744 --> 00:10:11,544 We accept anyone. 304 00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,559 Insulated walls, here I come. 305 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,841 Fairbell! 306 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,185 307 00:10:18,186 --> 00:10:20,521 It's about building community is what it is. 308 00:10:20,522 --> 00:10:22,589 Yeah, yeah, and sharing resources, 309 00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:24,525 like water and childcare. 310 00:10:24,526 --> 00:10:26,659 And they're not even finished yet. It's just Phase One. 311 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,061 I can't wait for Phase Two. 312 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,130 - Oh, my God. Phase Two? - Off the chain. 313 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:32,399 Nothing but hot tubs and built-in wine fridges, bro. 314 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,000 Oh, that's what I'm talking about. 315 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,802 Look at us, making smart choices. 316 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,003 Dude, totally. 317 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,872 - Mmm. - Mm. 318 00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:41,074 So, which model of the Ascension Pod 319 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:43,820 - are you gonna go for? - Ascension Pod? 320 00:10:43,821 --> 00:10:45,488 I'm talking about The Gables at SuTo. 321 00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:46,623 What the hell are you talking about? 322 00:10:46,624 --> 00:10:48,291 - What? - Gables at SuTo? 323 00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:50,359 No, no, we're talking about Triametrics. 324 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,895 Loren, real estate is a scam. 325 00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:53,563 - Excuse me. - You're excused. 326 00:10:53,564 --> 00:10:55,498 No, Triametrics is a scam. 327 00:10:55,499 --> 00:10:57,434 Real estate is a slam dunk every time. 328 00:10:57,435 --> 00:10:58,835 I knew he wouldn't sign up. 329 00:10:58,836 --> 00:10:59,836 - Typical NM. - I'm not an NM. 330 00:10:59,837 --> 00:11:01,038 Narrow mind. 331 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:02,505 I am not narrow-minded. 332 00:11:02,506 --> 00:11:05,042 Yeah, you are. Triametrics is not a scam. 333 00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:07,477 I mean, just look at their tenets for living, okay? 334 00:11:07,478 --> 00:11:10,013 Number 1, eat healthy. That's common sense. 335 00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:11,815 Number 2, get 10 hours of sleep. 336 00:11:11,816 --> 00:11:13,282 - Okay? - That's a lot. 337 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:14,617 Number 3, exercise. 338 00:11:14,618 --> 00:11:16,219 Oh, that's scary. Okay? 339 00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:17,420 And I think there's a fourth one. 340 00:11:17,421 --> 00:11:19,155 I don't really remember what it is. 341 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:21,224 Trans-morphosize and ascend into the rocket yacht. 342 00:11:21,225 --> 00:11:22,492 - Okay. There it is. - How could you forget that one? 343 00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:23,626 - That's the best part. - Okay, listen. 344 00:11:23,627 --> 00:11:25,161 And there's the bullshit. 345 00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:28,164 No. The... The rocket yacht is a metaphor for spiritual... 346 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,766 It's a spaceship we're going to literally live on forever. 347 00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:31,968 Okay. Fairbell, 348 00:11:31,969 --> 00:11:33,303 I'm trying to keep this into the realm of science, 349 00:11:33,304 --> 00:11:34,838 so if you could stop talking about the rocket yacht... 350 00:11:34,839 --> 00:11:36,172 Guys, I hate to tell you this, but... 351 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,440 Abbey, I've got this. 352 00:11:37,441 --> 00:11:39,175 You fell for a pyramid scheme. Congratulations. 353 00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,644 You both fell for a pyramid scheme. 354 00:11:40,645 --> 00:11:42,111 I was gonna say it was a pyramid scheme. 355 00:11:42,112 --> 00:11:44,580 It's not a pyramid scheme. It's a flow chart. 356 00:11:44,581 --> 00:11:45,982 There's literally a pyramid on it. 357 00:11:45,983 --> 00:11:47,250 Okay. You know what, Fairbell? 358 00:11:47,251 --> 00:11:49,385 We don't have to sit here and explain ourselves 359 00:11:49,386 --> 00:11:51,721 to people too NM to understand. 360 00:11:51,722 --> 00:11:52,989 Oh, my God. 361 00:11:52,990 --> 00:11:54,323 Well, we've got some uniforms to pick up. 362 00:11:54,324 --> 00:11:57,260 Yeah. Uh, you mean Astral Ambassador Garments. 363 00:11:57,261 --> 00:11:59,595 I swear to God, if you use the word "astral" one more time, 364 00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:00,930 I'm gonna stick it up your astral. 365 00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:01,931 [CLEARS THROAT] 366 00:12:01,932 --> 00:12:04,000 Ugh! Gross, Abbey. Do not get me sick. 367 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,935 I have a shit-ton of real estate regs to learn 368 00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:06,959 in the next three days. 369 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,604 Well, if you would listen to me for once, 370 00:12:08,605 --> 00:12:10,740 I was gonna ask you if you wanted to study together. 371 00:12:10,741 --> 00:12:12,608 'Cause I might be doing something really exciting... 372 00:12:12,609 --> 00:12:15,411 Unless you might be pre-approved for a condo in the high 400s, 373 00:12:15,412 --> 00:12:16,612 I have zero use for you, okay? 374 00:12:16,613 --> 00:12:18,481 You know what, Loren? I was trying to... 375 00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:19,883 I don't mean to, uh, butt in, 376 00:12:19,884 --> 00:12:22,151 but, uh, Loren, I think it's great 377 00:12:22,152 --> 00:12:23,819 that you found your calling at the career fair. 378 00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,221 And as it happens, 379 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,090 real estate is a bit of a passion of mine. 380 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,224 I could help you study. 381 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,425 Sweens! 382 00:12:29,426 --> 00:12:31,412 Comin' off the bench. That would be awesome. 383 00:12:31,413 --> 00:12:32,826 Steven, I was actually... 384 00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:34,297 Ms. Logan, we're having a conversation. 385 00:12:34,298 --> 00:12:36,632 We're talking. We're talking. The grown-ups are talking. 386 00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:38,434 You know what? This answers my question. 387 00:12:38,435 --> 00:12:40,836 You guys are... dicks. 388 00:12:40,837 --> 00:12:42,238 I am so sorry about her, Sweens. 389 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,306 Already forgotten. 390 00:12:43,307 --> 00:12:44,908 - My office later? - [SCOFFS] Totally. 391 00:12:44,909 --> 00:12:46,776 Thank you, Sweeney. Very cool. 392 00:12:46,777 --> 00:12:48,311 No problem. 393 00:12:48,312 --> 00:12:50,246 Anything to help you... 394 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,181 get away from here. 395 00:12:52,182 --> 00:12:54,250 I'm sorry. Did I miss the last part of that sentence? 396 00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,985 Nope. Just thinking about real estate. 397 00:12:55,986 --> 00:12:57,587 Real estate. Yes! 398 00:12:57,588 --> 00:12:59,188 399 00:12:59,189 --> 00:13:01,591 Triametrics. Think of it as the answer key to life 400 00:13:01,592 --> 00:13:02,992 for just pennies a day. 401 00:13:02,993 --> 00:13:04,193 A few thousand pennies a day... 402 00:13:04,194 --> 00:13:05,661 Oh, oh, oh! 403 00:13:05,662 --> 00:13:08,331 Got 5 seconds to save your eternal energy shell? 404 00:13:08,332 --> 00:13:10,800 I have an Ascension Pod with your name on it! 405 00:13:10,801 --> 00:13:11,867 [WHISPERING] What is that guy's name? 406 00:13:11,868 --> 00:13:12,868 [WATCH BEEPS] 407 00:13:12,869 --> 00:13:15,271 Oh. It's time for our ring re-charge. 408 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:18,007 Come on. It's important. 409 00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:19,542 Vrmmmm! 410 00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:21,210 Ugh! 411 00:13:21,211 --> 00:13:22,612 This is never gonna work! 412 00:13:22,613 --> 00:13:25,881 We're not gonna get to Phase Two like this. 413 00:13:25,882 --> 00:13:27,417 Unless... 414 00:13:27,418 --> 00:13:28,884 we go straight to the top. 415 00:13:28,885 --> 00:13:30,486 The roof. [CHUCKLES] 416 00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:32,155 No, Quinn! 417 00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:34,690 He has the power to recruit the faculty 418 00:13:34,691 --> 00:13:37,160 - from the top down. - Ooh. 419 00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:40,430 That's what the three-sided square system is about. 420 00:13:40,431 --> 00:13:42,098 [CHUCKLES] Fact. 421 00:13:42,099 --> 00:13:44,167 Sweens, you ready to do this thing? 422 00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:45,901 - Ah, Loren. - Yeah. 423 00:13:45,902 --> 00:13:47,571 I just brewed some Chamomile Rage. 424 00:13:47,572 --> 00:13:49,038 It's got taurine and guarana. 425 00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:51,040 It's the perfect thing for an intense study session! 426 00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:52,842 Wow. It sounds pretty baller. 427 00:13:52,843 --> 00:13:54,183 Thank you, Sweeney. 428 00:13:55,245 --> 00:13:58,381 Ho ho! Mama Miata. That's got a kick. 429 00:13:58,382 --> 00:14:00,516 But it's also very relaxing. 430 00:14:00,517 --> 00:14:02,452 - Hmm? - So you ready to ace this test? 431 00:14:02,453 --> 00:14:04,920 [SCOFFS] You tell me, dawg. 432 00:14:04,921 --> 00:14:06,269 Hmm? 433 00:14:07,524 --> 00:14:09,592 Yeah, I had them overnighted from China. 434 00:14:09,593 --> 00:14:11,060 - Pretty swish, right? - [WHIRRING] 435 00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,195 Mm. 436 00:14:12,196 --> 00:14:13,263 Mm. 437 00:14:13,264 --> 00:14:14,930 Wow. Mm-hmm. 438 00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,333 Uh, yeah, that is pretty swish. 439 00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,002 But have you done anything else to prepare? 440 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:21,871 Outside from the pencils? No, nothing. 441 00:14:21,872 --> 00:14:23,339 Then we got a lot of work to do. 442 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,984 Says here, "Discriminate against the poor." 443 00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:28,278 - No. - No? 444 00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:29,945 No, no, no, no, no. 445 00:14:29,946 --> 00:14:31,747 This is really good. 446 00:14:31,748 --> 00:14:33,149 Tell your friends where you got it. 447 00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:35,018 - You ready? - I'm ready. 448 00:14:35,019 --> 00:14:36,686 Green Monster. 449 00:14:36,687 --> 00:14:38,888 - Yoga teacher's house? - No! 450 00:14:38,889 --> 00:14:40,156 - Do it again, do it again! - Just do it again. 451 00:14:40,157 --> 00:14:42,158 Bl-bl-bl-bl! This tea is magic! 452 00:14:42,159 --> 00:14:45,961 453 00:14:45,962 --> 00:14:47,563 [INHALES SHARPLY] God, yes! 454 00:14:47,564 --> 00:14:48,764 But it's not sticking... 455 00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:51,501 - Hey! - Get it together! 456 00:14:51,502 --> 00:14:53,369 Oh, man, let's sell some homes. 457 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,104 Set, go! 458 00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:56,439 Buyer agents represent the buyer. 459 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,242 Seller agents rock the blazer. 460 00:14:59,243 --> 00:15:00,643 That is not right. 461 00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:03,446 Colorado inspection code requires balls. 462 00:15:03,447 --> 00:15:04,514 Big ones. 463 00:15:04,515 --> 00:15:05,715 I'm gonna have to give you an F. 464 00:15:05,716 --> 00:15:06,782 I'm sorry. 465 00:15:06,783 --> 00:15:10,658 466 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:11,855 - Tudor. - Yes! 467 00:15:11,856 --> 00:15:13,056 - Spanish. - Yes! 468 00:15:13,057 --> 00:15:14,123 - Yes? - Yes! 469 00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:15,124 Yes! 470 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:17,193 Yes! Did it! 471 00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,863 472 00:15:19,864 --> 00:15:21,130 Yeah. 473 00:15:21,131 --> 00:15:22,866 Once again, hammering "sold" signs 474 00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:24,534 and dressing like a Realtor isn't on the test, 475 00:15:24,535 --> 00:15:26,269 - but nice work. - Thanks, man. 476 00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:27,603 And I can't believe 477 00:15:27,604 --> 00:15:30,273 that tomorrow's your last day at Smoot, ever. 478 00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:31,743 It is, isn't it? 479 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:35,411 Man, I'm not looking forward to telling Quinn. 480 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,012 Oh, don't worry about that. 481 00:15:37,013 --> 00:15:39,215 I mean, everybody's really thrilled that you're doing this. 482 00:15:39,216 --> 00:15:42,018 Really, really, really thrilled. 483 00:15:42,019 --> 00:15:44,386 N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o... 484 00:15:46,757 --> 00:15:50,093 o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! 485 00:15:50,094 --> 00:15:51,761 Is this about the wedding? 486 00:15:51,762 --> 00:15:53,429 They say, after a traumatic event, 487 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,164 you shouldn't make any big life decisions 488 00:15:55,165 --> 00:15:57,166 for like six to eight years. 489 00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:58,968 This has nothing to do with the wedding. 490 00:15:58,969 --> 00:16:02,105 God, I regret ever buying her for you. 491 00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:03,573 Well, I am gonna be sick. 492 00:16:03,574 --> 00:16:05,308 Quinn, sign the form, man. 493 00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:07,110 No! I will not assist you 494 00:16:07,111 --> 00:16:09,178 in making the biggest mistake of our lives! 495 00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:10,646 The biggest mistake of my life 496 00:16:10,647 --> 00:16:12,448 was not becoming a Realtor sooner. 497 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,050 - I'm out of here! - Loren Payton... 498 00:16:14,051 --> 00:16:15,385 And let me know when I can show you 499 00:16:15,386 --> 00:16:17,520 an elevator-adjacent garden-level studio. 500 00:16:17,521 --> 00:16:18,922 It'd be perfect for you! 501 00:16:18,923 --> 00:16:21,591 [CRYING] I look forward to it! 502 00:16:21,592 --> 00:16:24,394 [BLOWS NOSE] Hey, Quinn. 503 00:16:24,395 --> 00:16:27,130 I know this is hard to hear, but I need you to... 504 00:16:27,131 --> 00:16:28,275 I've lost him. 505 00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,667 He's gone. 506 00:16:31,668 --> 00:16:33,202 [VOICE BREAKING] He's gone. 507 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,337 Okay. 508 00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:35,939 [SNIFFLES DEEPLY] 509 00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:40,343 [HIGH-PITCHED WAILING] 510 00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:44,614 Principal Quinn, Medicine Woman! Hey, hey, hey! 511 00:16:44,615 --> 00:16:46,550 Listen, whole school's buzzing 512 00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:48,618 about how sad you are about Loren leaving, 513 00:16:48,619 --> 00:16:51,020 which is why we thought maybe you could use a pick-me-up. 514 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:52,355 Literally... to space! 515 00:16:52,356 --> 00:16:53,623 Okay. I told you to stop talking about... 516 00:16:53,624 --> 00:16:57,360 - It's the best part. - Get out of my way! 517 00:16:57,361 --> 00:17:01,364 Ohh! See? You chased him off with all that space babble! 518 00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:04,900 It's not my fault the faculty here is so old and brainlocked. 519 00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:06,702 Oh, my God. That's it. 520 00:17:06,703 --> 00:17:08,237 We need to get at the younger minds. 521 00:17:08,238 --> 00:17:09,905 [GASPS] We get a van. 522 00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:11,507 We pass out candy at a playground. 523 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:14,043 - Everyone likes candy. - No, gross. 524 00:17:14,044 --> 00:17:16,512 - I got an idea. [CHUCKLES] - Right there with you. 525 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,848 Head start on tonight's ring re-charge. 526 00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:20,516 - Power up! - Yeah, yeah, sure... 527 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,118 [GASPS] Oh, my God, Fairbell, 528 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:23,368 is your ring different than mine? 529 00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:24,720 Is it? Don't think so. 530 00:17:24,721 --> 00:17:26,322 'Cause it looks a lot different. 531 00:17:26,323 --> 00:17:27,323 That looks... 532 00:17:27,324 --> 00:17:29,392 [RING CLATTERS] 533 00:17:29,393 --> 00:17:31,194 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] 534 00:17:31,195 --> 00:17:33,797 I can't thank you guys enough for coming here. 535 00:17:33,798 --> 00:17:35,198 I'm gonna miss you so much. 536 00:17:35,199 --> 00:17:36,800 Hey, Abbey, 537 00:17:36,801 --> 00:17:38,001 do you want to leave something behind 538 00:17:38,002 --> 00:17:39,935 for my time "cap-syo-ul"? 539 00:17:39,936 --> 00:17:42,538 You have a Smoot time capsule? 540 00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:46,275 Yeah, it could be anything... A book, a CD, 541 00:17:46,276 --> 00:17:48,211 some of your favorite bathroom trash. 542 00:17:48,212 --> 00:17:50,213 - Dan, gross. - Ohh. 543 00:17:50,214 --> 00:17:52,081 Clear out the religion section, Abbey. 544 00:17:52,082 --> 00:17:54,083 I got something you can really believe in. 545 00:17:54,084 --> 00:17:55,284 [CHUCKLES] 546 00:17:55,285 --> 00:17:57,553 Oh, my God. A going-away party. 547 00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,689 You guys... [CHUCKLES] 548 00:17:59,690 --> 00:18:01,757 "Goodbye... Abbey." 549 00:18:01,758 --> 00:18:02,958 Mm-hmm. 550 00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:04,427 That is so thoughtful of you. 551 00:18:04,428 --> 00:18:07,497 You spell "Abbey" with an "e." Huh. 552 00:18:07,498 --> 00:18:11,567 Oh, and a novelty card. These are fun. Thank you. 553 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:12,702 Well, listen, I didn't prepare any words 554 00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:13,769 'cause I didn't know you guys 555 00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:15,104 were gonna throw me a going-away party. 556 00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:16,172 Oh, actually, the party is for me... 557 00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:18,041 No, it's okay. It's okay. [CLEARS THROAT] 558 00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:20,043 From the bottom of my heart, 559 00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:21,644 mortgage rates are at an all-time low, 560 00:18:21,645 --> 00:18:22,846 so if anyone is even... 561 00:18:22,847 --> 00:18:25,248 - Really?! A party?! - [SCOFFS] Yeah, Quinn. 562 00:18:25,249 --> 00:18:26,916 We're losing our coolest teacher, 563 00:18:26,917 --> 00:18:29,519 and you think that that's a cause for celebration?! 564 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,720 Unbelievable! 565 00:18:30,721 --> 00:18:33,923 You, sir, will be going nowhere! 566 00:18:33,924 --> 00:18:35,725 [GRUNTS] That is my... That is my... 567 00:18:35,726 --> 00:18:37,527 - Abbey, I've got this. - Why won't that rip?! 568 00:18:37,528 --> 00:18:39,663 You've got some nerve, Quinn. 569 00:18:39,664 --> 00:18:42,532 The entire faculty got together to show me off the right way 570 00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:43,999 'cause they're happy for me, 571 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,268 and I'll be damned 572 00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:47,337 if I'm gonna let you take that away from them, monster. 573 00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:49,138 - Monster? - That's right. 574 00:18:49,139 --> 00:18:51,875 The only thing I have ever been accused of 575 00:18:51,876 --> 00:18:53,609 - is caring... - [SCOFFS] 576 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,145 And indecent exposure 577 00:18:56,146 --> 00:18:58,682 and soliciting a prostitute, 578 00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:01,356 although, ultimately, I was acquitted of both. 579 00:19:02,419 --> 00:19:03,819 But caring! 580 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,822 Premeditated, first-degree capital caring... 581 00:19:06,823 --> 00:19:08,892 With aggravated concern? 582 00:19:08,893 --> 00:19:11,427 Well, guilty as charged, Your Honor! 583 00:19:11,428 --> 00:19:13,629 The defense rests! 584 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,431 Cake! That's cake. 585 00:19:15,432 --> 00:19:16,700 Yeah, that's my cake. 586 00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:18,702 You never cared about me, Quinn. 587 00:19:18,703 --> 00:19:20,169 But Steven did. 588 00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:23,827 Steven, come here, please. Come on. Please. 589 00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,441 You know, this whole time, 590 00:19:25,442 --> 00:19:28,712 I, like you, thought Steven was this huge turd. 591 00:19:28,713 --> 00:19:31,915 You know, this huge, weird, misshapen turd 592 00:19:31,916 --> 00:19:33,449 that's pretty concerning. 593 00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,784 So you call the doctor, and he's like, 594 00:19:34,785 --> 00:19:37,186 "You're right. You need to change everything." 595 00:19:37,187 --> 00:19:38,788 And you think, "My God. 596 00:19:38,789 --> 00:19:42,525 Had it not been for this gross, oddly painful turd, 597 00:19:42,526 --> 00:19:43,927 I'd still be making the same mistakes 598 00:19:43,928 --> 00:19:45,261 I made my entire life." 599 00:19:45,262 --> 00:19:47,797 That's Steven. So, thank you, Sweeney. 600 00:19:47,798 --> 00:19:49,999 You beautiful turd. 601 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,467 And, Quinn, if you need me, 602 00:19:51,468 --> 00:19:54,203 I'll be slam-dunking that Realtor exam. 603 00:19:54,204 --> 00:19:56,406 Enjoy the party that Quinn ruined. 604 00:19:56,407 --> 00:19:57,941 And, Abbey, feel free to help yourself 605 00:19:57,942 --> 00:19:59,475 to a non-corner piece of cake. 606 00:19:59,476 --> 00:20:02,278 Oh, that's so generous, so thoughtful. 607 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:05,615 Thank you. Sayonara, SuTo! 608 00:20:05,616 --> 00:20:06,950 This is all your fault. 609 00:20:06,951 --> 00:20:09,285 Your career-fair carnival of horrors 610 00:20:09,286 --> 00:20:11,887 is destroying Smoot! 611 00:20:11,888 --> 00:20:12,888 [FOOTSTEPS] 612 00:20:12,889 --> 00:20:14,490 Well, that was a great party. 613 00:20:14,491 --> 00:20:15,825 Up until the lengthy turd talk. 614 00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:17,961 Yeah. It was perfect. 615 00:20:17,962 --> 00:20:20,029 - Abbey! - Abbey! Hi. 616 00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:21,564 Clear off the religion section, 617 00:20:21,565 --> 00:20:23,633 'cause I want you to think about space. 618 00:20:23,634 --> 00:20:24,768 Dude, I already told you, 619 00:20:24,769 --> 00:20:26,436 if you talk about space one more time, 620 00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:27,837 you are gonna get your face punched in. 621 00:20:27,838 --> 00:20:29,105 - What about space for books? - I said that. 622 00:20:29,106 --> 00:20:30,373 - You know what? - Shelf space. 623 00:20:30,374 --> 00:20:32,842 You guys should totally put your books here. 624 00:20:32,843 --> 00:20:35,177 Let me clear off some shelf space for you. 625 00:20:37,982 --> 00:20:40,201 That enough room for you?! 626 00:20:40,202 --> 00:20:42,385 Enjoy your sausage cult. 627 00:20:42,386 --> 00:20:44,383 Oh, my God. 628 00:20:44,384 --> 00:20:45,589 Abbey... 629 00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:47,323 said yes! 630 00:20:47,324 --> 00:20:48,658 [BOTH LAUGH] 631 00:20:48,659 --> 00:20:51,727 Let's go tell Zandra about our new Libratorium. 632 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,729 Quazar Ranch, here I come! 633 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,865 Permission to come aboard the rocket yacht. 634 00:20:55,866 --> 00:20:57,066 635 00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:58,334 Yes! 636 00:20:58,335 --> 00:20:59,735 Mm. 637 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:03,006 Well, I would be remiss not to broach a few qualms I have 638 00:21:03,007 --> 00:21:04,940 with some of the nutritional claims 639 00:21:04,941 --> 00:21:07,010 in your herbivore fare. 640 00:21:07,011 --> 00:21:08,544 Oh, okay. Well, if you'd like... 641 00:21:08,545 --> 00:21:10,079 Aaah! 642 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,215 Are you okay, sweetie? 643 00:21:12,216 --> 00:21:14,017 Yeah, I'm cool. I just... 644 00:21:14,018 --> 00:21:16,546 I didn't think you were gonna talk back to me, so, you know... 645 00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:17,821 See ya! Yeah. 646 00:21:17,822 --> 00:21:19,355 - Oh. Bye. - Bye. 647 00:21:19,356 --> 00:21:20,824 Wait till Zandra hear's about this. 648 00:21:20,825 --> 00:21:23,959 I bet Tampa and I get a master bedroom. 649 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:28,564 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] 650 00:21:28,565 --> 00:21:30,433 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 651 00:21:30,434 --> 00:21:31,434 Where'd the Triametrics booth go? 652 00:21:31,435 --> 00:21:33,036 - Oh. - Oh. They took off. 653 00:21:33,037 --> 00:21:34,638 Took off? [CHUCKLES] 654 00:21:34,639 --> 00:21:36,772 The lady said something about her ship coming in 655 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:39,509 after she fleeced a couple of grade-A whales yesterday. 656 00:21:39,510 --> 00:21:41,577 Yes! [LAUGHS] 657 00:21:41,578 --> 00:21:43,379 Oh, my God. We got scammed. 658 00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:45,846 I gave her my entire life savings. 659 00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,050 Aren't you listening? 660 00:21:47,051 --> 00:21:50,053 Zandra has ascended... with whales! 661 00:21:50,054 --> 00:21:51,687 [LAUGHS] 662 00:21:53,858 --> 00:21:55,791 663 00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:57,927 You really should be wearing your astral garments 664 00:21:57,928 --> 00:21:59,462 this close to Ascension Day. 665 00:21:59,463 --> 00:22:01,130 For the last time... 666 00:22:01,131 --> 00:22:03,799 We got scammed, you brainwashed dipshit. 667 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,069 I refuse to listen to this horse-sorcery. 668 00:22:06,070 --> 00:22:07,671 You mean "heresy." 669 00:22:07,672 --> 00:22:11,274 No, I mean horse-sorcery. Did you even read the books? 670 00:22:11,275 --> 00:22:13,342 What are you two doing here? 671 00:22:13,343 --> 00:22:16,279 I thought you joined that cult. I mean, lifestyle opportunity. 672 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,282 Well, if you must know, Sweens, it turned out to be a scam. 673 00:22:19,283 --> 00:22:20,950 They took all my money. 674 00:22:20,951 --> 00:22:22,752 Well, you know what? 675 00:22:22,753 --> 00:22:24,437 I can live with two out of four gone. 676 00:22:25,956 --> 00:22:27,357 LOREN: Okay. Oh! 677 00:22:27,358 --> 00:22:29,492 So, bullet points... 678 00:22:29,493 --> 00:22:32,095 Handed out my sweet pencils at the real-estate exam. 679 00:22:32,096 --> 00:22:33,897 Huge hit. Duh. 680 00:22:33,898 --> 00:22:35,498 Unfortunately, they were made with Chinese lead, 681 00:22:35,499 --> 00:22:38,768 and everybody got super sick from chewing on them. 682 00:22:38,769 --> 00:22:41,637 And it turns out lead's no good on TronScan machines, either, 683 00:22:41,638 --> 00:22:44,840 as it ruined every single exam. 684 00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,309 So I'm back. 685 00:22:46,310 --> 00:22:48,244 Well, you can take the test again, though, can't you? 686 00:22:48,245 --> 00:22:51,046 Oh, no, no. God, no. I'm banned for life. 687 00:22:51,047 --> 00:22:52,582 The prodigal son has returned! 688 00:22:52,583 --> 00:22:54,250 [LAUGHS] 689 00:22:54,251 --> 00:22:55,851 Okay, Quinn. 690 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:58,187 And I forgive you! [LAUGHS] 691 00:22:58,188 --> 00:23:00,323 No, honestly, I feel like I owe you an apology. 692 00:23:00,324 --> 00:23:03,326 Shh! You don't owe me anything. 693 00:23:03,327 --> 00:23:06,529 Really? So you don't want the deposit back for your condo? 694 00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:08,798 'Cause your mortgage pre-approval was very much denied. 695 00:23:08,799 --> 00:23:11,735 I just want you back here at Smoot. 696 00:23:11,736 --> 00:23:12,936 [LAUGHS] 697 00:23:12,937 --> 00:23:16,139 Well, that's exactly what you've got. 698 00:23:16,140 --> 00:23:17,741 You know what? One out of four ain't bad. 699 00:23:17,742 --> 00:23:19,875 If you're gonna quote Meat Loaf, get it right. 700 00:23:19,876 --> 00:23:21,811 It's, "Two out of three ain't bad." 701 00:23:21,812 --> 00:23:23,546 I was talking about your little foursome! 702 00:23:23,547 --> 00:23:25,281 - Abbey quit! - What? 703 00:23:25,282 --> 00:23:27,883 She was standing right next to me at my going-away party. 704 00:23:27,884 --> 00:23:29,352 God, you think she would've said something. 705 00:23:29,353 --> 00:23:30,886 She didn't even say a word. 706 00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:33,289 [CHUCKLES] Classic Abbey. 707 00:23:33,290 --> 00:23:36,025 - What a weirdo. - Well, she can't do that. 708 00:23:36,026 --> 00:23:37,827 She has to get approved before she can leave. 709 00:23:37,828 --> 00:23:39,724 I have to sign off on... 710 00:23:41,031 --> 00:23:45,835 A-h-h-h-h-h... 711 00:23:45,836 --> 00:23:47,771 712 00:23:47,772 --> 00:23:50,573 [AIR BRAKES HISS] 713 00:23:50,574 --> 00:23:52,776 [GASPING] 714 00:23:52,777 --> 00:23:57,046 [ENGINE RUMBLING] 715 00:23:57,047 --> 00:23:59,115 [BREATHES SHARPLY] 716 00:23:59,116 --> 00:24:00,450 [MACHINERY WHIRRING] 717 00:24:00,451 --> 00:24:01,717 718 00:24:01,718 --> 00:24:06,122 [CHUCKLES] 719 00:24:06,123 --> 00:24:09,392 720 00:24:09,393 --> 00:24:11,727 [GASPS] It's time for me to ascend! 721 00:24:11,728 --> 00:24:13,597 [CHUCKLES] 722 00:24:13,598 --> 00:24:14,798 I'm coming! 723 00:24:14,799 --> 00:24:16,866 [ENGINE RUMBLING] 724 00:24:16,867 --> 00:24:18,001 [LAUGHS] 725 00:24:18,002 --> 00:24:21,204 Who's the brainwashed dipshit now? 726 00:24:21,205 --> 00:24:24,874 Oh, my God! It's finally happening! 727 00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:27,543 Next stop, the rocket yacht. [CHUCKLES] 728 00:24:27,544 --> 00:24:29,345 Aah! Ow! [CLATTERING] 729 00:24:29,346 --> 00:24:30,346 Ohh! Ooh! 730 00:24:30,396 --> 00:24:34,946 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 51674

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